A Glibertarians Exclusive: Marilee Part II

by | Aug 16, 2021 | Fiction | 207 comments

A Glibertarians Exclusive:  Marilee – Part II

Falfurrias, Texas – March 1940

On a warm, dusty afternoon, two skinny young men in jeans, cotton work shirts and leather boots perched on two bar stools.  In front of them were two lukewarm schooners of pale beer.  As the barroom clock struck two in the afternoon, the taller of the two raised his beer.  “Well, happy birthday, buddy.”

Coy McAlester clinked his schooner against his buddy Paul Welton’s.  “Thanks.  Twenty-one at last, can you believe it?”

“At least now you can drink legally.”  Paul took a pull at his own mug.  “Not that it’s any big deal.  The Long Haul here is the only bar in town.”  The bar stood on the dusty corner of South St. Mary’s Street and West Rice Street and was in fact the only establishment of its kind in the tiny east Texas town.

“Ain’t much of a town,” Coy agreed.

“Least you can vote now.  Gonna pick old FDR this November?”

“Hell, he’s gonna win anyway.”  Coy took another drink and lit a Chesterfield.  “Doesn’t much matter if I vote for him or some other asshole.  Too bad he’s just itching to get us into that war in Europe, but no way he’d be that stupid.”

“Say,” Paul said, “you were pretty sweet on Marilee Peyton back in school, right?”

“Fat lot of good it did me.  She was as good as hitched to Jim Gompers already even then, and a bigger asshole never lived.  Weren’t out of school two weeks before they were married.  Hear he likes to slap her around.”

“So, you ain’t heard the latest?”

Coy turned to look at his friend.  “What latest?”

“Guess he give her two black eyes, so she went on home to her folks.  Jim’s been saying he ain’t letting her leave, but her Dad’s got her in his house, and said he’d shoot Jim if he comes around.  Reckon that whole thing ain’t gonna end without someone getting aerated.”

“Could have told her it’d end up like that.”  Coy had exchanged blows with James Gompers more than once back in high school, and there was still no love lost between them.

“Well, there’s a lawyer involved now.  Marilee’s old man’s paying for it.”

“Hmph.”  Coy stared moodily into his beer.  “Lawyers never did no one no good.”

“Ain’t easy getting dee-vorced,” Paul pointed out.  “Not in Texas.  But that’s what she’s doing.”

“Is she now?”  Coy took a long drink of beer.  “Ain’t that something?”

When Coy left the tavern an hour later, he decided on a sudden urge to drop by the Peyton house.  The Peyton property was on the edge of town, so Coy climbed in his somewhat bedraggled ’24 Hudson for the short drive over.

When he knocked on the door, Marilee herself answered.  “Coy, isn’t it?” she asked.  “Coy… McAlester, right?”

Coy frowned.  Marilee’s pretty, heart-shaped face was marred, not only by two black eyes but a wide purple bruise that covered the left side of her face.  But she was composed, neatly dressed, her red hair nicely done up.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Coy replied.  He looked down at the floorboards of the porch.  “Heard you was having some trouble with your husband.  You know, bad news travels fast in a small town.  I recollected you from school, and thought I’d stop and see anything I can do to help.”

Marilee’s eyes opened a little wider.  “Why would you want to help me, Coy?”

Coy continued to examine the boards of the porch until Marilee said, “Coy.  You can look at me, you know.  Why would you want to help me?” she repeated.

Coy looked up.  “Well,” he said, slowly, “I recollected you from school, like I said.  Seen you around some since.  Always figured you for a fine gal, you want to know the truth, and honestly never thought much of Jim Gompers.  That whole family always did think way too much of themselves.”

“And when someone needs help, you help them?”

“Something like that.”

Marilee looked over her shoulder, once, quickly.  “Let’s sit on the porch swing,” she offered.

Once Coy was seated, nervous and uncomfortable, too close to Marilee on the narrow swing, she began to speak in a low voice.

“Jim, he’s saying he’ll never agree to a divorce.  No way he’s going to let me go.  Daddy hired a lawyer, but he’s all the way over in San Antonio, and if this all goes to court, he’ll charge Daddy an arm and a leg to drive all the way from San Antonio to Falfurrias to be at the hearings.”

“And the fact that Jim’s been knocking you around, that just don’t count for nothing?”

“That’s how it looks,” Marilee said softly.

Coy turned and looked at Marilee.  “You’re lucky to have your folks to help.  My folks, well, you know, they been gone some time now.  It’s just me.”  I got nobody, he said to himself.

Coy had never noticed how green her eyes were, but he did notice not that they were shining with moisture.  “So,” he went on, “he ain’t gonna let you go.  Not unless someone gives him a damn good reason.  Am I reading that right?”

“Pretty much.”

“Where’s he at now?”

“Probably at his house,” Marilee said.  “He usually gets home about four.  Clock in the house rung four just before you pulled up.”

“Will you come for a ride with me, Marilee?”  Coy held up both hands.  “No funny business, I promise.  Just a ride.  I bet I can convince Jim Gompers that he ought to let you go.”

“All right,” she breathed.  “Let me tell my Ma.”

By the time Coy pulled his old Hudson to a stop in front of Jim Gompers’ cheap clapboard house a mile out of town, he had worked himself up to a pretty good rage.  Marilee had ridden along, silently, but the bruised side of her face was turned towards Coy, and whenever he caught a glimpse of her, there was that ugly purple-yellow splash on her profile.

My Pa was a drunk, Coy reminded himself, and a skunk.  Kilt Ma in a car crash when he was drunk, left me alone when I was seventeen.  But he never slapped Ma around.  Never laid a finger on his family.  What he hell kind of a man does that?

1924 Hudson

Coy got out of the Hudson and said only two words to Marilee: “Wait here.”  He opened one of the back doors, extracted a long, heavy pick handle.  Marilee, watching, let out a gasp, but said nothing.

Coy walked to the front door of the cheap three-room shack.  Holding the pick handle hidden behind his skinny right leg, he pounded three times on the cheap panel door.

Jim Gompers opened the door.  He looked heavier than Coy remembered him; paunchy, his face puffy.  He was still wearing his overalls from his job at the lumber mill south of town and clutched a whisky bottle in his puffy right fist.

“McAlester, ain’t it?” Gompers demanded.  “What the fuck do you want?”

“You’re gonna leave Marilee alone,” Coy demanded.  “You’re gonna let her go, Jim.  You’re done making trouble for her.”

“Oh, yeah?  Why?  She’s fucking you now, I suppose?”

Coy’s reply was swift.  He swung the pick handle through a short, sharp arc into Jim Gompers’ ample gut.  Gompers doubled over, his wind leaving him with a sharp whuff.  Coy swung again, slamming the pick handle into Gompers’ arm.  The upper arm bone broke with a dull crack.

“You’re gonna leave her alone, you hear?” Coy snapped.  Gompers collapsed into a fetal huddle on the floor just inside the door.  He nodded, painfully.  “You’re gonna let her have the divorce, you got that?” Gompers nodded again.  “If you don’t, if you back out, you’ll get more of this.”  Coy shook the pick handle and was brutally satisfied to see Gompers flinch.  “Good.  I better not have to tell you again.”

He turned then and stalked back to his Hudson, leaving Gompers curled on the floor.  He tossed the pick handle into the back seat and climbed in behind the wheel.  “Reckon he won’t cause you any more trouble now,” he said.  Marilee nodded, her green eyes wide and luminous.

Coy drove her back to her parent’s house without another word.

The next morning, as he was enjoying an idle Sunday, Coy was surprised by a knock on the door of the two-room house he had inherited from his dead parents.  He opened the door and was even more surprised to see a disheveled Marilee Peyton standing there, a big carpetbag in her hand.

“What’s going on?” he wanted to know.

“Jim’s dead,” Marilee said without preamble.  “Burst his spleen when you clubbed him.  Coy, he told his folks what happened before he died.  They swore out a warrant against us both.  We have to get out of here, Coy, they’ll be coming to arrest us.”

“Shit.”  Coy’s brain kicked into high gear.  He stood still for a moment, thinking very quickly.  “We ain’t got many options.  Can’t say as I want to go to prison for that son of a bitch.  Come in,” he said.  “I ain’t got nothing.  Won’t take me a minute to toss some stuff in a bag.  We’ll head west.  That is,” he stopped to look at Marilee, “if you want to come along?”

Marilee took Jim’s hand.  “You did all this for me,” she said.  “I won’t bail out on you now.”

Coy grinned.  “Let’s be careful saying things like ‘bail out,’ all right?”

They headed west in the old Hudson.  Both of them let out an audible sigh of relief when they passed a sign noting that they had left Brooks County for Jim Hogg County.  Still anxious, they drove on through the night.  Marilee slept for a while, her head on Coy’s shoulder, the soft scent of her hair filling Coy’s world.

Always was sweet on her, Coy reminded himself.  Looks like we’re together now, but never saw it happening like this.

They made it almost as far as Fresno when the Hudson’s motor died.  A loud clank announced the broken engine block.  When Coy looked underneath, he saw the stream of engine oil rapidly running out of the fractured engine; the Hudson’s traveling days were done.

“Leave it here,” Coy advised.  He removed the Texas plates from the old car and, digging with his hands, buried them in a gully.  “We’re about a mile outside of town, more or less.  Let’s walk.”

“What are we going to do now?”

“I don’t know,” Coy said.  “I just don’t know.  I still have about fifty bucks left.  Let’s get into town, get us a place to sleep, and maybe I can find some sort of work.”

They walked on, hand in hand, through the growing dusk.

“It’s a month today,” Marilee observed.

“A month today?” Coy asked.

“Since… what happened.  With Jim.”

“Oh.”  Coy chewed on that for a moment.  Wherever he had seen his life going, being on the run for an unintentional murder certainly hadn’t made the list.  “There’s a diner,” he pointed out, wanting to change the subject.  “Let’s get a bite to eat.”

Halfway through their meal the radio behind the counter started announcing the news, and Coy’s hands froze, his roast-beef sandwich halfway to his mouth:

In national news, a five-state manhunt continues for accused murderer Coy Walton McAlester, from Falfurrias, Texas.  McAlester is wanted for the murder of Jim Gompers, also of Falfurrias.  He was last sighted in a 1925 or 1925 Hudson auto, headed west.  He is presumed to now be in Arizona or California.

Marilee’s eyes went wide.  “Coy,” she said.  “What do we do?”

“Keep quiet,” Coy said.  “Finish eating, nice and easy, like.”

They finished their meal in silence.  Coy left fifty cents on the table with a dime tip for the tired, overworked waitress.  They went outside into the night.

Coy stood on the sidewalk for a few moments, thinking very rapidly.  He looked up and down the street, then pulled out his wallet and counted the remaining money they had left.

“They only mentioned me in that radio announcement,” he said at least.  “Nothing about you.”

“So?”

“So, it means they’re only looking for me.  You can’t go back, Marilee; the folks there have to know you left with me, and they’d squeeze you until you told them where I’d gone.  Here, take this; it’s forty-eight bucks, all I got left.  There’s a boarding house down the street – see?  Go there, take a room.  This here diner, they got a sign says they want a waitress, and that old lady in there looks like she could use the help.”

“Coy,” Marilee objected, “I can’t leave you.  Not like this.  You’re in this because of me!  You did this all for me!”

“That’s just it, honey, I ain’t done doing it yet.  Now do as I say.  Get on down to that boarding house and come down here in the morning and get you a job.  I’ll find you when I figure how to get shut of all this.”  He grabbed her hand.  “You hear me?  I’ll find you.  This is best for now, honey.  It ain’t fair and it ain’t easy, but this has to be it for now.”

He kissed her quickly and turned to walk away.  He stopped when he heard her voice.

“We’ll meet again, Coy.  On this street or some other.  We’ll find each other again.”

Coy just nodded and walked away into the night.

 

She was married when we first met,

Soon to be divorced.

I helped her out of a jam, I guess,

But I used a little too much force.

We drove that car as far as we could,

Abandoned it out West.

Split up on a dark sad night,

Both agreeing it was best.

She turned around to look at me,

As I was walking away

I heard her say over my shoulder,

“We’ll meet again someday,

On the avenue”

Tangled up in blue.

About The Author

Animal

Animal

Semi-notorious local political gadfly and general pain in the ass. I’m firmly convinced that the Earth and all its inhabitants were placed here for my personal amusement and entertainment, and I comport myself accordingly. Vote Animal/STEVE SMITH 2024!

207 Comments

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    That was, Heavy,
    Great work Animal

  2. juris imprudent

    Great stuff again Animal – story teller riffing on a story teller.

  3. wdalasio

    Really good writing on this, Animal! Keep up the great work.

  4. db

    Wow. Loved this. I’m not even a fan of Dylan, but he makes for good inspiration for your stories.

  5. Tundra

    Excellent, Animal!

    Thanks for a pleasant and much needed diversion.

  6. WTF

    Good stuff!

    • juris imprudent

      I would fear having my head between the thighs of #7.

      • SandMan

        Head, or any other parts!

  7. Sean

    Burst his spleen when you clubbed him.

    I like the story, but find the overnight autopsy a lil sus.

    • Not Adahn

      Dead guy, with a bruise over his spleen. A simple country coroner makes the call.

      Maybe it was just a story by Marilee to get Coy to run off with her — but how did she get the radio announcer to fake a news report?

  8. db

    Well, that’s unfortunate phrasing. It’s not funny. FFS, can’t these people do anything right?

    From CNN’s coverage:

    UN official says he is concerned by “mounting” human rights violations against Afghan women and girls

    also:

    Afghan ambassador says UN must call for an immediate end to violence

    Yeah, that’ll get it done.

    • EvilSheldon

      The UN is just pissed that they got cut out of the raping and pillaging.

      • db

        I’m afraid this will result in a UN mission to “stabilize” the country with “peacekeeping” and it’ll be Round Two, Fight!

      • db

        or Round Twenty, or whatever.

      • waffles

        I kind of get the feeling that’s what’s happening. What are the 3000 4000 5000 6000 7000 Marines going to do?

      • db

        Also CNN:

        Approximately 2,500 US troops are at Kabul airport and more are expected to arrive in the following days

      • db

        I hope all our troops are signed up for frequent flier miles because with all the back and forth, they’ll be able to take a nice vacation if they live through this.

    • Not Adahn

      The Taliban has already appointed an ambassador to the UN? That’s efficiency.

      • db

        What happens to that guy when the Afghan gov’t completely collapses? Does he still retain a portfolio in some legal way? Does he get booted back to Afghanistan from New York?

      • juris imprudent

        From ambassador to refugee in three easy steps!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Credit where credit is due. The Taliban appears to be far more efficient and effective than our own government.

      • db

        My impression is that he’s the ambassador from the recognized government, not the Taliban. That won’t last long.

  9. Sean

    https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2021/8/16/kabul-near-standstill-on-day-one-the-talibans-emirate

    A city that only 48 hours ago was jam-packed with cars and hundreds of people lining up outside banks, visa processing offices and travel agencies, had come to a near standstill.

    Followed by:

    Ahmad said: “The only thing we will do is to ask anyone who has a weapon to turn them over to the government,” something that may not sit well with many Afghans, especially those who had joined uprisings to fight the group’s advance over the last several months.

    It’s a trap.

    • db

      Kabul, Afghanistan – The first day of what the Taliban calls the “Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan” saw Kabul, a bustling metropolis of six million, turn into a slow, male-dominated city without police or traffic controls and with shuttered businesses everywhere.

      With the exception of “male dominated,” sounds like Progtopia. Interesting that they chose to use that particular phrase. There’s probably a hundred worse things about the current sitch in Kabul, but “male dominated” is what makes the cut.

      • juris imprudent

        AP style guide?

    • db

      Yeah, the “turn in your guns” thing is particularly hilarious.

    • EvilSheldon

      It’s a trap.

      Yeah, that lesson never really seems to sink in.

      • db

        Common sense gun control will fix Afghanistan’sthe Taliban’s problems.

  10. The Bearded Hobbit

    Like dB above, I’m not a huge Dylan fan but I love his ballads and this is one of his best.

    Good stuff, Animal. After this maybe you can take on “The Blue Jack of Hearts”

  11. MikeS

    • Mustang

      As much as I want to believe it, I don’t. “Sources say” and all that.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Please be true…

  12. db

    Taliban members visit homes of two female journalists in Kabul, source tells CNN
    From CNN’s Celine Alkhaldi

    The homes of two female journalists were visited by Taliban fighters on Sunday, a contact of the women told CNN, adding that both women were severely shaken psychologically.

    According to the source, one of the female journalists whose home was visited by the Taliban on Sunday said: “I am very worried about my safety and that of my family.”

    Several female journalists are said to have received threatening calls from the Taliban, with the calls increasing over recent days, the source added. One prominent female journalist in Kabul said she had received a threatening call from the Taliban, telling her they “will come soon.”

    On Monday, Amnesty International’s Secretary General, Agnès Callamard, said in a statement: “what we are witnessing in Afghanistan is a tragedy that should have been foreseen and averted. It will only be compounded further without swift and decisive action from the international community.”

    “Thousands of Afghans are at serious risk of Taliban reprisals – from academics and journalists to activists and women human rights defenders – and are in danger of being abandoned to a deeply uncertain future,” she added.

    1. Totally not unexpected.
    2. What are they going to do about it? They have two choices. Leave, or fight.
    3. Oh, wait, I forgot, the third choice is claim “the international community” has to step in and fix this/protect these people. Um, what’s been going on for the last nineteen-plus years?

    Then they conflate what is about to happen to regular Afghan women under Taliban rule with what will happen to “academics and journalists[,] activists” who are probably some of the people most likely to have connections to help get them out.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      So the Taliban is just like the FBI.

    • Q Continuum

      What a crock of shit all these crocodile tears are; this kind of stuff happens daily in any number of other authoritarian shitholes (DPRK, China, Iran, etc.) and no one cares. This is all to get the tax spigots flowing again to the MIC cronies.

    • Q Continuum

      Further:

      “academics and journalists to activists and women human rights defenders”

      AKA: grifters and NGO parasites who have been sucking at the teat for decades. Fuck em.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ?

        Actual charitable organizations like Doctors Without Borders get fucked over by our government.

      • Not Adahn

        Yup. They recognize her as being firmly in the “Death to America” camp.

    • wdalasio

      what we are witnessing in Afghanistan is a tragedy that should have been foreseen and averted. It will only be compounded further without swift and decisive action from the international community.

      I’m incredibly impressed that Agnès Callamard is volunteering to pick up a rifle and provide swift and decisive action.

  13. limey

    Coy’s brain kicked into high gear

    I think that was 2nd back in them olden days.

    Really smart writing there. I enjoyed it.

  14. Jerms

    Well done Animal. Thanks.

  15. Ownbestenemy

    Great writing going on here. Thanks Animal

  16. Fourscore

    Great story, Animal. Except for the beat down of Jim, some parts are vaguely reminiscent in my memory (of my friend) and he didn’t have a ’24 Hudson, it was a ’52.
    Really enjoy your story telling but I wonder…experiences always are never far away in our minds…

    • Ozymandias

      I said, NO SPOILERS!
      Great writing, Animal.
      (Was the drinking age really 21 back in ’40? I thought that nonsense didn’t come around until much later.)

      • Mojeaux

        1940 was only 7 years off Prohibition.

      • Fourscore

        Yes (drinking age) 21

        FDR was already in office 7 years by 1940.

        Drinking laws were a state law, until someone (Carter/Reagan?) tied Transportation money to seat belt laws/21.

      • Lord Humungus

        This one simple trick

      • Plisade

        I think I just watched a Glib on oann.com. I’m probably late to the party with this, but he did a really good job and I wish for more to come 🙂

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        That was Ozy, pretty cool eh?/

      • Plisade

        Woot woot!

        /didn’t wanna dox anyone

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “Finer clay” reference appreciated.

  17. Ed Wuncler

    Excellent story Animal! I did not expect the woman’s deadbeat husband to die.

  18. Not Adahn

    German dude gets fined an exorbitant amount for having an illegal basement arsenal, including a Panther

    According to locals, the tank was an open secret, and the man even used it as a snowplow once during a particularly harsh winter shortly after acquiring it from an English junkyard.

    It made it to England, got thrown away, and then found its way home?

  19. Drake

    “When the Red Army was run out of Afghanistan in 1989, it was a body blow to the Soviet empire, which collapsed just two years later. The military was the last intuition the people respected, so when it was humiliated, the system was humiliated. The last pillar holding up communism broke, and the system collapsed.”

    https://www.takimag.com/article/twentieth-anniversary-affliction/

    • EvilSheldon

      Carter, stagflation, an energy crisis, and now the fall of Saigon. I know some of you remember the 70’s – what came next?

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Disco.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        The porn-stache.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The rise of disco and many, many shitty Burt Reynolds movies.

      • pistoffnick

        “East-bound and down…”

      • db

        Jimmy Carter.

      • Tundra

        The 80s and 90s, both of which pretty much rocked. Is that what you’re getting at?

      • The Other Kevin

        * Dusts off army jacket, Converse All Stars, and Aquanet *

      • EvilSheldon

        Hell, my Chucks never got put away…

      • Not Adahn

        I was really hoping that Trump’s election would usher in a new age of good music, like Reagan/Thatcher’s did.

        Alas. Apparently the rot wasn’t just from sucking up to Obama.

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        The 80s and 90s indeed rocked.

        We should be so lucky to live through something like that twice.

      • kbolino

        Carter was more weak-willed sap than empty suit dementia patient

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Pac-man + Ms., Atari, cable TV, C-Span, Rubik’s Cubes…

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        The invasion of a former US ally*. I am betting on Taiwan.

        *Afghanistan if you are wondering.

      • db

        hmmm

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      So The US will default on it’s debt leading to hyperinflation in two years? Well at least we’re informed ahead of time. The only question is will there be a succession crisis or a dirty war between the various faction in the US.

    • db

      Seven-plus years under Bush, Eight years under Obama, but the four years at the tail end of it all under Trump were what ruined our chances. Certainly it couldn’t have been the fault of the generals and the strategists? Surely not the diplomats, or the politicians who voted to fund it all? Or the Presidents who knew what the consequences would be, and kept kicking the can down the road?

    • kbolino

      The real purpose of Watergate may have been to provide the illusion of accountability for the bitter failure that was our involvement in Vietnam. Can they afford to do the same to Biden?

  20. Tundra

    Tell me again why we just abandoned Bagram? It might have been helpful in evacuations, huh?

  21. db

    Earlier on Monday, UK Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab confirmed that hundreds of British and Afghan nationals are in the process of being evacuated from Afghanistan.

    “We’re concentrated on the evacuation effort for British nationals and those Afghan nationals who have served the United Kingdom so loyally,” Raab told members of the press.

    “What matters right now is focusing on getting British nationals out, getting out those who have so loyally served the UK, and making sure that the gains that we’ve made over twenty years are not lost,” he added.

    At least they’re getting something right.

    Raab acknowledged that the government had been surprised by the “scale and pace” at which the Taliban managed to seize control in Afghanistan, but affirmed that the British government will continue to hold the group to account through various means, including potential sanctions.

    Ah, but, who, who? is actually really surprised by this?

    The people of Afghanistan have spoken by their complete capitulation to the Taliban. There was no meaningful resistance, from what I can tell.

    Now:

    UN Security Council calls for inclusive government in Afghanistan and an end to hostilities
    After holding a Monday morning meeting and subsequent closed-door consultations on Afghanistan, the United Nations Security Council collectively issued a statement calling for an “immediate cessation of all hostilities” and for “a new government that is united, inclusive and representative – including with the full, equal and meaningful participation of women.

    Yep. Sure they will.

    • Ownbestenemy

      When you are governed by tribes and warlords, they tend to go with who has the biggest guns and most money. Taliban had both and it just snowballed from there. If I were in that situation and they rolled through my village in American gear (vehicles, weapons, drones) then yeah, I would hang my hat to them also.

      • db

        To a degree, yes. There was no will to resist them, because the age-old warlord/peasant dynamic never was washed away. Why would those people fight, especially when they probably kind of liked it before anyway?

        The crazy thing is that “before” was nearly twenty years ago now. A fifth of a century!

      • Ownbestenemy

        Exactly. Sure maybe Kabul enjoyed ‘democracy’ but the goat herder living out in the middle of nowhere that relies on the local warlord to make sure no one killed the goats doesn’t give a flying hell on what leader has been elected.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        Yeah, it really depends on what your tribe’s elders say, If they say “Taliban” then the choice is clear.

    • wdalasio

      the United Nations Security Council collectively issued a statement calling for an “immediate cessation of all hostilities” and for “a new government that is united, inclusive and representative….

      I don’t think these guys understand the whole “losing wars” thing. Funny, since so many of them have so much experience with it.

    • Not Adahn

      the United Nations Security Council collectively issued a statement calling for an “immediate cessation of all hostilities”

      Who is left to fight against?

  22. Lord Humungus

    I was never a pro-Afghan War guy, especially after year 1.

    but some insights on our current Western Civ:

    This is worse than Saigon

    Anyone who thinks the Taliban did not pick up on all of this, on the Potemkin nature not only of the Afghan government but also of Western civilisation itself, is kidding themselves. The Taliban will have watched as the mighty American military became bogged down in discussions of critical race theory and the problem of ‘white rage’. They will have clocked the British army’s recruitment drive that was aimed at ‘snowflakes’ and ‘me me me millennials’ – for real – on the basis that such people have the ‘compassion’ necessary for the touchy-feely wars of the 21st century. They will know that the contemporary West is shame-faced about its history and its civilisational values and lacks ideas for how to turn its fragile youths into a fighting force, and they will understand their own life-and-death devotion to Sharia as being the opposite to all of this. They know this was a cultural clash as well as a military fight, and that they were by far the stronger side on this front.

    This is the truth: America and its Western allies are too consumed by wokeness to be able to pursue a moral or military struggle for their values. The past 20 years of this slow-burning Afghan humiliation have been a modern case of fiddling while Rome burns. An intolerant Islamist army gains in strength and plots its return to power while the American and British armies obsess over how to become more trans-inclusive, which gender pronouns to use (the Royal Air Force’s list includes ‘ze’, ‘per’ and ‘hir’), how to make training exercises more inclusive of ‘snowflakes’, and how to fight wars without offending the enemy. Who can forget when US navymen wrote ‘Hijack this, fags’ on a bomb destined for Afghanistan and all hell broke loose? Such ‘spontaneous acts of penmanship’ are completely unacceptable, said the then US rear admiral. The Taliban was fighting to the death for its theocratic vision – the West was squabbling over offensive words.

    • db

      My god, all the tone deaf “thank you for your service” replies to that tweet.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Any unworn Stride-Rites for sale too?

      • Tundra

        Dang, Toxteth.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Hey, I didn’t make that up. If I had, I would be the famous author.

    • Stillhunter

      Best response, if not precisely true:

      As an American I can’t own a fully automatic weapon but we just gave the taliban a million tons of weapons that we as tax payers paid for.

  23. Lord Humungus

    Any bets on what our “dear leader” is going to say this afternoon. I’m sure it will be insightful ::eyeroll::

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Orange Man Bad. I will write a sternly written letter to the Taliban. Not sure there is much more that he can say.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Following the deal that was already penned…blame Trump…much flop sweat will be expended

    • Ownbestenemy

      Uzebekighanistan chose not to fight against Trumps new army and today we have seen the reinstatement of the Tsars of old. Now remember folksies no mean questions.

      • db

        The nature of the questions will determine where all this goes. There is a minute chance that the press corps will actually be shocked enough to challenge and ask meaningful questions, but don’t count on it.

      • Ownbestenemy

        And that is if the WH allows questions. I have a feeling it will be statement and then shuffled off. I actually hope that is what happens because I think that will not sit well with anyone except the truly faithful.

      • db

        That was my thought as well.

    • The Other Kevin

      “The international community is watching. I call on the Taliban to stand down.” etc.

      • Tundra

        Oopsie.

        From July 8. Those talking points are fucking gibberish. Massive mistake to hide the last few days.

      • Sensei

        “It was not an inevitability. It was a possibility.”

        OK – let’s see how many times this particular catch phrase and its variations gets repeated in the next 24 hours.

      • The Other Kevin

        The odds were pretty low. Time to buy a lottery ticket.

    • Francisco d'Anconia

      I can only hope he follows through with the leaving. I’m thinking he can’t really reverse that decision at this point, but anything is possible.

      So far, this is a shit-show. Shoulda spent the past six months evacuating the families of those that supported us, and building up a force to support the withdrawal/evacuations.

      Last one out, turn off the lights

  24. db

    Will this have an effect on the psyche of our military? I can’t imagine it’s going to be a good thing for either recruitment or retention.

    • LJW

      Join the army! Die for a worthless cause!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      No one wants to sign up for an organization that consistently fails to succeed.

      • Ownbestenemy

        That is why the past 20 years or so of recruitment is centered around “get skills for a job” “education” and “global humanitarian missions” and not “we blow shit up”

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “See, I did join the army, but I joined a *different* army. I joined the one with the condos and the private rooms.”

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        Private Benjamin? Is that you?

    • Mustang

      Anecdotal, but all my immediate friends are separating post-haste, despite being over halfway to retirement, for a number of reasons. This is just icing on the cake. I’m just trying to figure out what the fuck to do for work before I punch.

    • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

      Supposed to be a reply to LJW, above.
      **HEAVY SIGH**

      • Ownbestenemy

        Works here though. Of course all I can think of is Toby Keith now and that propaganda I had to sit through with his song playing every Sunday in church in Basic.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      +1 Heghlu’meH QaQ jajvam

  25. Suthenboy

    JFC two minutes of news and I want to find every person involved in the so called ruling class from the last 20 years and stretch some rope. Start with George Bush.
    What a goddamned shit-show.

    • Ownbestenemy

      My brother cannot understand how I can be happy we are finally leaving that shit-hole and aghast at the mismanagement of doing that task. He also cannot fathom why I don’t want to hold just a president accountable but nearly every administration and their lackeys in the State/DoD/etc that enabled all this bullshit.

  26. waffles

    Hey why/when/how did TOS become so universally terrible on liberty? I have to admit I forget what caused the original schism. I do love seeing liberty twitter dunk on reason savagely and repeatedly. Not sure if it will change anything but it will remind more than a few people of just how terrible inside-the-beltway libertarians can be.

    • Ownbestenemy

      A “too local of a story” if I remember correctly that highlighted exactly what you think Reason would want to rail against and elevate it to wider discussion but instead pissed on a commentor.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        A “too local of a story” if I remember correctly

        Straw that broke the camel’s back. The broader issue was that Rico “to be sure” Suave was the least detestable regular writer at the site.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Ah, he seems to have come along somewhat, no?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        *shrug*

        Dunno. I’ve spent all of 5 minutes on that site since the glibbening. The only TOS content I regularly consume is Stossel and Remy.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Seen him a few times on NewsCorp TV talking most often about academic freedom.

      • kbolino

        The woodchipper incident didn’t help either. They rolled over pretty quickly to ole Preet.

      • waffles

        I remember that one and the AAW bestiality charges. The bastard named half the handles in a suit.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The what?

      • waffles

        Arthur Allan Wolk supposedly fucked a sheep and sued the commentariat for repeating such libelous allegations. Actually, that one felt kind of like a W.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ha!

        I had forgotten about that litigation-happy asshat.

      • Not Adahn

        Arthur Alan Woke Wolk.

    • wdalasio

      I think it started January 20, 2017 and mostly just accelerated from there.

      • waffles

        I was about to type “what happened on 1/20/17?” Oh, yeah. Makes sense. Damn that seems like a lifetime ago now.

      • wdalasio

        To expand on my comment, post the election of Trump, Reason, like much of the world’s chattering class, had a choice. They could continue on advocating for the principles they’d held for years and years sticking to principle over whatever the fad of the day happens to be. Or they could treat Donald Trump as some sort of existential threat to everything that was right and good with the world. For a while, it might seem like you can do both. But, in the long run, you can’t. Because sometimes Donald Trump did things that were consistent with libertarian principle. And sometimes the people opposed to Donald Trump are operating a utter odds with libertarian principle. But, if you’re choosing the Donald Trump as existential threat route, you have to dismiss those pesky details. And every time you do that, you compromise just a little with what you think is important. You rearrange your values just a little bit. And that means you come to a point down the road where you have to make that call just a little earlier. And you rearrange your values just a little more. And so on.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I don’t think Trump broke them. I think their pre-existing brokenness became flagrant when Trump became ascendant.

      • waffles

        I agree with this idea. Whatever fractured when Trump came into the picture it was revealing instead of transforming.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ???

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        That’s the best thought out explanation I’ve heard.

        I think there may have also been a shift from “libertarian” to “liberty light.” They employed (published) several writers that aren’t libertarians, but are just sympathetic to freedomish shit. I had an email conversation with Nick, just after the split, where he flat out told me he wasn’t a bleever in the NAP. So that supports your theory that they started making exceptions to principle to achieve their desired outcome of getting rid of Donny. At the end, instead of philosophy of liberty, you get a great big steaming pile of shit.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Shrieka. I had always assumed she was a young naïf: turned out she was soccer-mom aged? Eff that.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Liberty Magazine tweets? I bought those at B&N occasionally.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      From autumn ’08, to hear it from the other day?

      I could understand voting for Obama once. I don’t remember the staff poll for ’12: probably many Gary Johnsons. Nor 2016 at all.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Uhh, I think I remember some of its ’16 now.

  27. Francisco d'Anconia

    Coulda left in 04 with the exact same result. What a complete waste of people, equipment and dollars.

    “Such an outcome could not have been foreseen”- GWB

    *facepalm*- FSU

    • Drake

      03 – 04 was when we went from a light infantry offensive war to heavy occupation forces. Why we did that I’ll never understand.

      If we had left then with a warning to never fuck with us again, it would have been a Desert Storm kind of win regardless of what happened in Afghanistan. Now it’s a Vietnam style loss.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        The war was lost the second we declared the Taliban combatants.

      • Drake

        In 90-91 Colin Powell was adamant about defining attainable objectives then declaring victory. A decade later he had forgotten all that.

  28. LJW

    Apparently the Taliban has acquired around $1 billion in military equipment. If true Biden literally has armed them for their next terrorist attack.

    • LJW

      *in American military equipment

    • Mustang

      *shifts gaze to overwhelmed border security*

      This is fine.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Don’t mind the 30,000 unvetted refugees we are shipping in directly to the States either; rather than say…I don’t know, one of our many bases in the ME to vet. I am all for getting them the hell out of there, but JFC, do your homework first.

      • waffles

        No time to do homework, VISA printer goes BRRRR.

    • Nephilium

      So you’re saying the Taliban has saved or created literally hundreds of thousand of US jobs?

    • Francisco d'Anconia

      Meh. I take this with a grain of salt. How much of that equipment is operational? They don’t have the expertise to fix it or keep it running. No access to parts. I’m guessing a lot of this is overblown. And half our shit is shot anyway.

    • Drake

      The most bumbled up clusterfuck of U.S. military since? Trying to think…

      Since MacArthur over-extended himself in Korea, November 1950? Resulting in the Big Bugout and the Battle at the Chosin Reservoir.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Mogadishu?
        Iran hostages?

        Neither of those have the longevity, though.

      • Drake

        Mogadishu was a fuck up. The Sec Def wouldn’t supply any armor.

        That Iran hostage rescue attempt was a mess but that was more bad luck and bad weather than incompetence.

    • db

      They don’t even need to do terrorist attacks. In fact, why would they? They’ll be able to comfortably maintain control of their own territory. They’ve probably learned a thing or two, and the Taliban weren’t the ones doing the international terrorism anyway. They were just the ones destroying priceless historical artifacts and architecture.

      There’s no reason for them to attack anyone, and all they have to do is ride out for a few months, consolidate what they’ve won, and wait til the “international community” sees a squirrel somewhere else. The Taliban only needs to give everyone else a chance to decide they really want to walk away from defending every stupid decision they have made for twenty years, and the US, UK, etc. will take that deal.

  29. Nephilium

    Well… on a high level business call, and one item that was mentioned as a high risk was staffing levels. To the point that they’ve started rolling back some pre-employment drug screenings so they can hire staff.

    • Drake

      Not in the mood for excluding a third of the candidates for being unvaccinated?

  30. Not Adahn

    To go back on-topic-ish for a second:

    Re: that pic of the 1924 Hudson, at what point did the body become standardized to the rest of the car?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Hnnngggghhhh….

      And young Rebecca de Mornay… HNNNGGGGHHHHhhhh…..

      • Sensei

        Yup. For Glibs of a certain age.

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        I always thought she looked better in her 30s and 40s. She aged the same way Catherine Deneuve did. Beautifully.

    • The Other Kevin

      Somewhere Prince is rolling in his grave.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I got nuthin’

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Worked for Louis XIV. Judith Butler might agree that this is all arbitrary.

      • The Other Kevin

        Great. Stay tuned for stockings and powdered wigs.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        You get it! and most birds…

        Skirts maybe.

    • db

      The news today, oh boy. Straight out of Heinlein’s Crazy Years.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Those aren’t cowboy boots.

  31. waffles

    NPR is making the Saigon comparison and not letting Biden/Blinken off the hook for saying it was never gonna happen. No mention of orange man. So weird to hear even the faintest criticism from the politburo. I am intrigued.

    • Tundra

      Setting the table to dump him. Never let a crisis go to waste, after all.

      • waffles

        We are all kremlinologists now.

      • Tundra

        25th Amendment is trending on Twitter.

      • db

        oh, *now* they notice the disability?

        This is not 25A material. This is take your drubbing material. 25A, in this context, is just a way for the Dems to avoid a desperate loss in ’22 and probably ’24.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Some substance there though regarding 25 material. Word is Dr. Jill urged him to stay on vacay and the absolute blackout of any information coming out of the administration leads one to believe…who is running the show?

      • db

        I guess so, but it will not be satisfying and it will be an injustice and a missed chance for justice if it is all laid on his head.

      • waffles

        Biden could resign, right now. Please please please.

      • db

        No, make him take it. He doesn’t deserve it exactly–the Cabinet members, general officers, and all their departments that strategized and set up this failure deserve it.

        We need sixteen months of Congressional hearings peeling back the covers from what hid this mountain of failure that was being heaved up around us for nearly two decades.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Because of months of telling the American people it will be orderly, we have intel, blah blah blah when any armchair general in the States over the age of 9 saw a much different picture unfolding, it is hard to not put their feet to the fire.

      In a normal country, at least a few swords would have been stained by now.

    • db

      There’s a significant opportunity for some Dem politicians to parlay this into a 2024 nomination. Pay attention to who NPR starts talking up as/after they normalize strong criticism of Biden/Harris.

  32. Ownbestenemy

    How am I supposed to shitpost the president if he can’t bother to be on time.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      No shit, the WaPo drones are blaming everbody but Biden

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        CNN is going on about how this is all Trump’s fault.

      • db

        It really isn’t Biden’s fault–nor Trump’s. This should get laid at the feet of all the Presidents since 2001, as well as all the general staff, Cabinet members, Senators, Representatives who ignored the obvious for such a long time. Who strung it along, no one wanting to be caught when the music stopped.

        The elites need to be held accountable for this. All of us who paid for it, all the parents and families who lost loved ones over there–not just combat, but to training accidents and suicide, deserve an accounting of this and to see who is responsible.

        Hell, the incredible number of dead and innocent Afghans (and Iraqis) deserve an accounting too.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        I blame Bush (Just wanted to say that again)

        I think if we just stick it out for a few more decades we’ll have them right where we want them…

        But seriously. Do politicians EVER pay a price for their horrible decisions? This is politics/government at its essence. No accountability at all. The instigators are either dead or old men now.

      • db

        Wait, did I forget to mention who was the “second most powerful man in the US” for eight years during the middle of this war?

  33. Fourscore

    The Army changed post VN when women were integrated into regular army units. That was the beginning of woke.

    Not to give the Taliban any ideas what will happen if they shut down the runways with cars/trucks/junk, either before or after the new troops land? Taliban obviously doesn’t need my advice.

    • Ownbestenemy

      He asked pretty please apparently. Right now, any evacuations are at the leisure of the Taliban

      • Not Adahn

        Meh. Be magnanimous in victory, and get potential troublemakers out of the country without having to go through the effort of burying the bodies.

    • db

      Hell, all they need is some catapults to launch debris on the runway, and then target anyone coming out to clean it up.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        One RPG is all it would take

  34. Yusef drives a Kia

    About time, Come on Man!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      So if we stuck to the agreement, we would had.. and agreement?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        It’s the Afghan Militaries fault!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Now he’s flat out lying,

  35. DEG

    This is good.