357 Comments

  1. Tres Cool

    whaddup doh’ ?

    Brochetta is my bitch. Say it loud, say it proud.

    • Tres Cool

      “Luana, who describes herself as an ‘autosexual’, someone who is attracted to themselves…”

      She seems nice. I bet she’s a blast at parties.

      • rhywun

        Wouldn’t that just be a “narcissist”…?

      • db

        +1 Mercury Mistress

      • blackjack

        No pic of the car?

      • Animal

        Worked for Ric Ocasek.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        No no no… it’s an attraction to Autobots

      • db

        Yeah, but if you don’t watch out, you might find yourself faced with a Decepticon when you take it home after the date.

    • The Other Kevin

      Was that the same person we were talking about a few days/weeks ago, or is there a second one now?

  2. DEG

    The other piece, and we’ve emphasized all along that we have no desire to simply conduct another study that’s going to sit on a shelf, is in the infrastructure package

    Really? It looks like a perfect graft opportunity.

  3. DEG

    All three of the women said they like to have a friend call them during the date, then if it’s going badly they make up a story – as if the person on the other end is in some kind of emergency.

    Nope, never had that happen to me.

    • The Other Kevin

      Me neither, but the last date I went on before I got married was at a time when very few people carried a cell phone. /old

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        Same here. I’m pretty sure that one or two of the women I dated in University were getting ready to chew their own arm off rather than continue the date with me. Fortunately, I wasn’t always completely clueless, and terminated at least one date very early, driving the young lady back home, saying goodnight and then going to the restaurant I had planned and eating alone. Good food, pitying glances from the other patrons.

        Can’t win ’em all.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        Yeah, this is my experience. Then again, I never dated too much, just got married.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Even on the very few dates I had, it was usually just said “this isn’t working out” and then we became friends because the person wasn’t shy about what was what.

      • Tulip

        That’s the adult thing to do. Having someone call is childish.

    • Loveconstitution1789

      Millennials dont really do one-on-one dates. They do group dates.

      I think GenZers are going back with some traditional norms like one-on-one dates. They are evidently better with saving and spending. They will have to be with actual inflation rising 5%+ per year.

      Anybody who cant stand to meet new people they agreed to be with for a few hours are probably not worth knowing. Bad dates happen, so the adult thing to do is end the date early on friendly terms. Of course this requires both parties be reasonable people.

  4. Count Potato

    “All three of the women said they like to have a friend call them during the date, then if it’s going badly they make up a story – as if the person on the other end is in some kind of emergency.”

    That’s never happened to me.

    Although maybe these women should give it more thought before they go out on the date in the first place.

    “Luana, who describes herself as an ‘autosexual’, someone who is attracted to themselves, also had a trick to swerve bad dates too.”

    OFFS!

    • R C Dean

      Why does Luana even go on dates? Just to cadge a free meal?

      • The Other Kevin

        The perfect evening…. go out for dinner, get an “emergency” phone call before the check arrives, spend the rest of the night at home looking in the mirror.

      • Tres Cool

        Or on her OnlyFans.com account.

      • Gender Traitor

        OnlyFan singular, I suspect.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I smell a best selling self help book here.

        Dinner on the Cheap by Gazing into the Deep

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        It wouldn’t be the first time, and she wouldn’t be the first woman.

      • Ed Wuncler

        I had this happen to me once where it was obvious that the woman was on a date with me did so to get a free meal. She was too arrogant or dumb enough to at least hide it so when the waiter came by asking if we need a check, I immediately said to split it in half.

        I’m married now so it doesn’t matter but my rule of thumb back in the day was that I’ll pay for the first two dinners, but then after that we’re splitting it. Maybe it was an asshole move but my Mom and older sister were the ones who told me that if a woman doesn’t at least offer to put in something by the third date, she ain’t shit.

      • R C Dean

        “You can pick up your tab, or put out. Your call.”

      • Ownbestenemy

        Still makes me question why prostitution is illegal. We engage in it every day in dating on mass scale.

      • Ed Wuncler

        That’s why I love being married. I don’t have to navigate the dating world anymore and it’s complexities.

      • Chafed

        I believe the legal phrase is “ass, gas, or grass. Nobody rides for free.”

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Not a bad rule.

      • Ed Wuncler

        It became a rule after being burned so many times and my Mom and Sister being brutally honest with me. They outright told me that unless I show some confidence and that I’m not some doormat, women aren’t going to respect, no matter how “nice” I was on the date.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        I used to kinda know a guy who did a lot of computer dating, without much luck long term. After listening to him describing his faults, his anger to the opposite sex for not being his girlfriend, and so on, I told him point-blank that the girls probably passed around his name for a free meal. And that even this wasn’t going to keep working as his anger was showing in every part of his life.

      • Ed Wuncler

        Online dating can be brutal but I’ve learned after a few bad dates to read their spiel with a lot of detail because you can immediately see the red flags and not to put any pressure on yourself or your date.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        I think online dating could be cool for a person who just likes casual dating, not the kind of person who is looking for romance out of the gate. And I have never been that kind of person. I need to actually have some real point of contact or reference before I even want to go down the path that could get me rejected.

        Basically, I want to have won the game before I decide to play. And maybe that’s kind of shitty of me, but I am also OK being single. Says the guy who has been with his wife for decades at this point.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        The SNR is what turned me off to the whole thing. I had friends who did the online thing, and every single one of them had to go through shitshow date after shitshow date before they met somebody organically. I know there are success stories out there, but my observation was that those success stories were very few and far between.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        Online dating is just a tool to meet people you might not otherwise meet.

        Honestly, there are quite a few single people who refuse to be reasonable about compromise with their faults to be with someone else who has faults too.

        Marriages end for that same reason once the spouses realize they cant put up with the other person and both spouses are probably used up on compromises.

    • DEG

      Although maybe these women should give it more thought before they go out on the date in the first place.

      Yep.

    • Gadfly

      “Autosexual” is taking narcissism to a whole new level. Or I guess taking it back to it’s roots, given the tale of Narcissus.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    What a voice.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    “Luana, who describes herself as an ‘autosexual’, someone who is attracted to themselves, also had a trick to swerve bad dates too.”

    She starts masturbating at the table?

    • R C Dean

      “I’ll have what she’s having”?

    • Ownbestenemy

      That’ll do pig, that’ll do.

    • Tres Cool

      Id buy that for a dollar !

  7. DEG

    What a difference a day and some antibiotics makes.

    I got sick on my vacation, cut it short, and went home. Yesterday I broke down and went to the doc. The ‘Rona with bacterial pneumonia. I started the antibiotics yesterday. They’re killing the pneumonia.

    • Tres Cool

      Doxycycline is awesome if you dont mind a scorched stomach and spending a morning on the toilet. If you can stand being shot in the hip with what feels like hot tar, Rocephin is a slate-wiper for all things bacterial.

    • Sean

      Oof. Sorry, dude.

      Feel better.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      Was wondering where you had got to…get well soon!

      • DEG

        FreedomFest road trip. It was a good trip until I got sick. I got to meet some folks from glibs and H&R on the way out and back. Some good sight-seeing. FreedomFest was good too.

        Then I got sick.

      • Ownbestenemy

        #DEGSuperSpreaderEvent21

    • Count Potato

      I hope you are feeling better soon.

    • Ted S.

      Yeah, but the covid is going to kill you first.

    • DEG

      Thanks for the well wishes.

    • R C Dean

      Hit the quinine (pills available on Amazon) and zinc. Maybe ivermectin, too, if you’re up for it. No need to treat only the pneumonia.

      • DEG

        The ‘Rona really doesn’t matter to me. Killing the pneumonia is what matters to me.

      • Chafed

        Makes sense. Feel better.

    • wdalasio

      I hope you make a speedy recovery.

    • Tundra

      Good to hear!

      Go stock up on sauerkraut, kimchi, kombucha, whatever. Your gut is gonna be a hot mess for awhile.

      • DEG

        I got some keffir today in my instacart order.

  8. Gadfly

    “According to pre-alpha gameplay, the game used to have death by ass blast.”

    I can see why they cut that. No way to make that not funny, which wouldn’t fit the tone of the game.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    To understand how impactful a $1.2 trillion infrastructure bill is, all one needs to know is that the legislation is stirring discussions about a return of Amtrak passenger rail service across the southern part of Montana.

    *outright, prolonged laughter*

    Yeah, the railroadz! fanbois have been fapping to that fish story forever. Commuter service from Livingston to Bozeman! That would be so totally awesome, dude!

    • Tonio

      Every other civilized/industrialized country!!1!

    • Chafed

      Perhaps you can have California’s high speed rail.

  10. Count Potato

    “A group 1,800 family members of Americans who died in the Sept. 11th attacks has written President Biden urging him not to visit any memorials to the incident until he agrees to declassify government information on the role of Saudi Arabia.

    The families and people directly impacted by the attacks are demanding Biden uphold a campaign statement to err on the side of putting out government information – and say they won’t support him visiting Ground Zero to mark the 20th anniversary of the attacks.

    ‘Twenty years later, there is simply no reason – unmerited claims of “national security” or otherwise – to keep this information secret,’ the letter signed by 1,800 family members and others said.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9869031/1-800-Americans-directly-impacted-9-11-tell-Biden-NOT-come-memorials.html

    Good for them for at least getting some publicity, but I doubt it will make him do either.

    • ignoreLander

      uphold a campaign statement

      Like how they don’t call it a “promise”? When Trump failed to deliver, which was plenty, it was always “OMB BREAKS ANOTHER CAMPAIGN PROMISE!!!!111!1!!”

      But with Uncle Stupid it’s that he didn’t “uphold a campaign statement”

      • Count Potato

        To be fair, he might not even remember.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’d make a tape with Rose. I like her spunk.

      • Count Potato

        So what are your thoughts on the global elites and trans-dimensional demons?

      • Agent Cooper

        But would she like yours?

  11. The Late P Brooks

    There are several sections in the 2,702-page infrastructure bill that, like reconsideration of a southern route, suggest opportunities for Montana.

    There’s more than $8 billion for clean hydrogen development, the kind for which Montana’s Republican-led Legislature earlier this year cobbled together a tax break and shushed environmental standards. Busy highway grade rail-crossings, like the one that regularly clogs 27th Street traffic in Billings, are targeted with $3 billion. There is $73 billion dedicated to the electric power industry, including $2.5 billion for carbon capture projects, including for power plants, like Colstrip, and clean energy projects for coal communities where miners and power plant workers have been dislocated. There is research funding for recovering critical minerals from mine waste.

    Pork, as far as the eye can see. Riding the rails from sea to shining sea.

    We’re gonna need a bigger slaughterhouse.

    • rhywun

      That doesn’t sound very graft-worthy environmentally-friendly.

  12. Count Potato

    “US records nearly 100,000 COVID-19 cases a day for first time since February with 277% surge over the last three weeks: CDC warns Indian ‘Delta’ variant accounts for 93% of ALL infections and vaccines ‘can’t prevent transmission'”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-9869089/US-records-nearly-100-000-COVID-19-cases-day-time-February.html

    “COVID-19 vaccines are up to 96% effective at preventing hospitalization in breakthrough cases among over-65s, CDC report finds”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-9869935/COVID-vaccines-96-effective-preventing-hospitalization-breakthrough-cases-65s.html

    So no one knows shit?

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      COVID-19 vaccines are up to 96% effective at preventing hospitalization in breakthrough cases among over-65s, CDC report finds”

      As my AI SMEs are fond of saying, 95% means nothing without a baseline.

      • Tundra

        Yeah, and since we burned all the dry tinder last year, maybe this is just immune systems working.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Shush. That is 2019 science. We are operating on #SCIENCE-20-21 rules now

      • ignoreLander

        Also, up to 96% effective” could mean 0.002% effective.

      • Sean

        How many millions of people (unvaxxed) didn’t need hospitalization either? I’m gonna guess up to 96%.

      • R C Dean

        I don’t think there’s any doubt the vacks helps prevent hospitalization. The percentage of hospitalized people who are unvacksed is north of 90%, maybe 95%, while their percentage of the adult population is more like 40% or so.

        Of interest – the breakdown by age of who has been vacksed roughly tracks the risk by age from the ‘Vid. Huh. Its almost like people can do their own risk/benefit analysis on something like this.

      • Sean

        I thought the #s coming out of the UK were showing a much closer split. Like 55% of the hospitalized were unvaxxed.

      • R C Dean

        I’m going off of our (anecdotal) experience, and a recollection of what I am seeing reported elsewhere in the US.

        I would expect half the positive tests could well be unvaxxed, but I don’t care about them (except as they are being used to flog the panic) so I don’t know.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        In a sane society, we’d be celebrating that distribution.

      • Tundra

        Still, without good data, how can we credit the shot?

    • Sean

      Quite the poison wonder drug they got there.

      Booster time! More of it will certainly fix the problem.

    • invisible finger

      So only three more weeks and this latest wave. will be over.

      The panic will be around for four more months.

    • R C Dean

      We have been flatlined at 10 – 20 ‘Vid patients per day hospitalized for at least six weeks. About 10% of what we had during the peak of the winter spike.

      Positive tests are up. I try to correct people who say “cases” are up – “No, what they’re really reporting is positive tests. No way to know how many of those people are actually sick, or how sick they are. And, really, we can’t even be sure how many of them have COVID – that PCR test is known to throw a lot of false positives.” Not to mention, positive tests are driven to some degree by the number of tests administered. Weirdly, our positive test rate is up around 50% (from 10% to 15%), but the number of positive tests is up by 3 – 400%. Which tells me we are administering a shitload more tests.

      Deaths in AZ are up from around 8 per day to around 14 per day. In a state with an average of around 164 deaths per day.

      And people are losing the effing minds. TMITE, but also PHITE (Public Health Is The Enemy). My contempt for these people is beyond my ability to express it.

      • blackjack

        My kid tested positive on the same day i tested negative. He had zero symptoms and we both quarantined together for ten days. At the end of which, i tested negative. My wife, who got the first shot, tested negative also. She’s all stressed about the cases, so I told her the kid is one of the cases. That’s what she is stressing about.

    • Suthenboy

      Cases? Fuck cases.
      How many hospitalizations? How many deaths? Of those two how many have comorbidities? What are their ages?

      This fear mongering bullshit is getting old..

  13. Ownbestenemy

    Wifey is breaking down a bit. She has ‘lied’ to several customers that she is vaxx’d. After they have already interacted with her, she has groomed the dog and she is accepting payment. In my eye, that seems like someone looking for a free dog groom when she says no she isn’t.

    • Sean

      She didn’t specify which vaccine, right? All good.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The problem with marrying a good, honest woman though is that weighs on her and of course, one of the things I love about her.

    • Gadfly

      If they don’t ask up front they don’t really care, so it’s OK to lie to them if they seem shady. But really I think the best move is to say “none of your business”. I’ve never heard of mandatory vaccines for commerce before (outside of schools), so this new development really needs to be nipped in the bud.

    • DEG

      Sorry.

      This two-tiered society bullshit is…. bullshit.

    • db

      In my eye, that seems like someone looking for a free dog groom when she says no she isn’t.

      That’d be my first reaction too

    • grrizzly

      Local businesses here love to display “We are vaccinated” stickers on their windows.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Luckily this is all word of mouth on how she gets clients. No website, no social media presence. Only worry for her is some call to our state OSHA really and she knows “I didn’t understand what they were asking me” response.

    • westernsloper

      *deletes comment*

  14. The Late P Brooks

    As my AI SMEs are fond of saying, 95% means nothing without a baseline.

    But- but- now there are two of them.

    Whatever they are.

  15. Count Potato

    “How Cuomo’s office sought help from prominent liberal advocates as it pushed to discredit an accuser

    Days after the first accusation of misconduct surfaced last year against New York Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo (D), his staff began reaching out to a prominent advocate for sexual harassment victims and the head of the largest gay rights group for guidance as they mulled how to discredit his accuser.

    This week, an independent investigation commissioned by New York Attorney General Letitia James found that the subsequent effort by the governor’s office to undermine the credibility of former Cuomo adviser Lindsey Boylan — by leaking her private employee records and circulating a draft of a letter that impugned her credibility — amounted to “unlawful retaliation.”

    Attorney Roberta Kaplan, a co-founder of Time’s Up Legal Defense Fund, and Alphonso David, the president of the Human Rights Campaign, are now facing questions about their role in Cuomo’s aggressive effort to fight back against his accusers…”

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/cuomo-harassment-allegations–advocacy-groups/2021/08/04/57103eee-f51f-11eb-9738-8395ec2a44e7_story.html

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      #BeliveAllWomen

    • Tulip

      Going all in on a smear is pretty damning.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    TMITE, but also PHITE (Public Health Is The Enemy). My contempt for these people is beyond my ability to express it.

    This, times infinity.

  17. db

    “greater courtesy and respect to [non-players] in the community by way of not crowding or blocking entry to businesses, private property, playgrounds, emergency services, places of worship, or memorials,”

    Wait, so all those mostly peaceful protests were just Pokemon Go players?

    • Zwak, jack off, all trades

      Pokemon Go! players are…

      (puts on sunglasses)

      …Flaming assholes!

    • R C Dean

      I saw that. The interview is with a comedian. Funny, at least.

      I was impressed by the flight attendant’s technique. Very nicely done.

    • limey

      ?

      If I ever set foot on a plane again I would like the flight to be attended by this man.

  18. Scruffy Nerfherder

    In all honesty, I don’t remember if anyone bailed on me during a date.

    I bailed on one who kept going to the bathroom to check her hair, literally. Too bad she wasn’t doing coke.

    It was particularly unfortunate because it was 1988, she was a doll, and her dad drove a DeLorean. I felt like I had scored the lottery and was going be in a John Hughes film. Oh well.

    • limey

      Everyone had great hair in 1988, didn’t they? I probably had a bowl cut, but I mean everyone else. It takes a lot of work so I figured everyone would be checking their hair at every available opportunity.

      • db

        I had the best fricking hair in 1988. So much product.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I still had Shawn Cassidy hair then..

        It was quite impressive at the time, but my mousse bills were a bit exorbitant.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It was every five minutes. I think she had hair OCD.

      • limey

        I guess it’s a shame that you never got to find out whether the carpet matched the drapes.

      • R C Dean

        Well, I still had hair in 1988, so . . . .

      • Sensei

        See, that’s right where I was going.

        I like to tell my wife I had a full head of hair when I met her. She doesn’t particularly care for that.

      • Animal

        I had Army hair in 1988.

        1978, well, now you’re talking. I had full-on Robert Plant hair.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Rockin it

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Damn man, that’s some hair.

      • The Hyperbole

        No product either, all natural flow. In hindsight the “beard and ‘stache” were mistakes, but at the time I thought I was rockin’ it.

      • westernsloper

        You weren’t wrong.

    • Count Potato

      It was 1988, her dad drove a Delorean, and she wasn’t doing coke?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You can’t imagine my disappointment.

      • Sensei

        Doesn’t the coke come with the Delorean?

      • R C Dean

        I thought you got a kilo in every glovebox.

  19. wdalasio

    Luana, who describes herself as an ‘autosexual’, someone who is attracted to themselves,

    Well, then, as far as I’m concerned, she can go screw herself.

    • limey

      Hahaaaa.

      Well I’m glad that’s cleared up because my first guess was that she is one of those people who humps cars.

      No I’m not looking that up to include a link.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Local businesses here love to display “We are vaccinated” stickers on their windows.

    I have seen a few “If you’re sick, don’t come in here” signs, which is what should have been the policy from the beginning.

    Telling people to fear the unvaccinated rather than to avoid the sick is criminal.

  21. Count Potato

    “One of Facebook’s top communications managers allegedly helped New York Governor Andrew Cuomo lead a smear campaign against sexual harassment accuser Lindsey Boylan while working for the tech giant.

    Dani Lever is accused of helping Cuomo’s staff distribute Boylan’s personnel files in an effort to discredit her allegations against the governor. She is said to have done so even though she had already started working at Facebook, according to the investigative report released by Attorney General Letitia James on Tuesday.

    Lever worked on Cuomo’s staff for six years before joining the social media platform’s communications team in August 2020.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9861929/Facebook-exec-helped-mastermind-Cuomos-response-sex-pest-allegations.html

    • R C Dean

      *serves 8-figure complaint on Facebook, Inc.*

      Let them prove she was acting outside her employment. Discovery will be a blast.

  22. Tonio

    Okay, you scurvy dogs. Because Neph his having a life again, I’ll kick off the traditional Friday Glib Zoom Happy Hour, Snarkfest, STFU Sloper, and Article Wheedling at 8:00 EASTERN.

    https://us02web.zoom.us/j/8696035120

    • limey

      Wheedling? Like Jane Wiedlin?

      This is a new word for me.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        I’m 100% certain I’ve heard a Brit say “wheedle” before.

      • limey

        Thems was proberly well-educatered.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      In honor of your hosting, I’m-a wear a themed ensemble tonite

    • westernsloper

      STFU Sloper
      ?

      I got some shit to say!

  23. The Late P Brooks

    I would expect half the positive tests could well be unvaxxed, but I don’t care about them (except as they are being used to flog the panic) so I don’t know.

    At this point, I would expect half the positive tests to be bullshit.

    • westernsloper

      Yep just like they have been throughout this charade. I am fucked in the head with what I should believe and not. We have been lied to for a fucking year and a half and we have studies out of other nations with the same Vaccssssssss’s that say they are shit but ya, they want everyone to get one. *deletes rest of comment*

    • limey

      So Whitmer can order in the BRRT to wipe out the “racist”, “far right” protestors who have gathered peacefully to protest the destruction of their livelihoods and liberty?

    • R C Dean

      I’m surprised we’ve never had an air ambulance catch a skid on the power lines in front of the hospital.

      Random memory: Technically, A-10s are fighter planes. I was talking to an A-10 pilot about that (we have a bunch of A-10s in Tucson), and he said if he was ever in a dogfight with a regular fighter, his only maneuver would be to turn inside the other fighter’s radius (A-10s have sharp turning radiuses compared to fast movers) and try to catch him a crossing shot from the big Gatling.

      That was the same trip to the AFB where I got to “fly” an A-10 in the 360 degree simulator. We were “flying” over Tucson, so I took out our main competitor (“Quick, how do I turn on the missiles!”) and a couple of my neighbors. The instructor said everybody flies over their own home the first time, but I was the first one who actually shot up the neighborhood. He also couldn’t recall anyone blowing up a hospital.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Power lines are the archenemy of every chopper pilot. I guarantee they know exactly where those things are.

      • R C Dean

        They must, because its never happened. Their only legal approach takes them right over the lines, though, which are strung pretty high.

      • limey

        I burst out laughing at the end there.

      • DEG

        but I was the first one who actually shot up the neighborhood. He also couldn’t recall anyone blowing up a hospital.

        🙂

      • Sean

      • Agent Cooper

        The A10 is my favorite plane. It’s the one the Pentagon couldn’t kill.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        My first boyfriend’s dad flew A-10s in ‘Nam.

      • Rat on a train

        The A-10 didn’t serve in Vietnam. It wasn’t operational until the late 70s.

      • Rat on a train

        I loved watching the A-10s go brrrrrrrr back when the Army was allowed to have them.

    • Sensei

      The A-10 is so distinctive it’s easy to recognize. My story is that we are in the middle of PA watching a football game at my son’s college and two A-10s fly over.

      I say, “I think that’s the first time I’ve seen an A-10 in the air.”

      Everyone turns around and looks at me and says, “what’s an A-10?”

      • R C Dean

        They’re surprisingly quiet, too. Turbofans. We’ve got a couple of wings here, so we see them all the time. Those Mexican armored columns are in for a rude awakening when they cross the border.

        The F-35s are incredibly loud, but the pilots can practically make them tap dance. They do some really cool maneuvers in those things, but I hardly ever see them. Probably send them over the desert more, because they are LOUD.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        A-10s are proven battle survivors. A-10s come back with chunks missing and massive battle damage.

        The future is probably drone swarms but ditching reliable planes for another plane is a mistake.

      • Animal

        I’ve seen them in the air, seen them take off loaded with munitions to go hunting, even saw one come back all shot up but the pilot got out of it without a scratch. Great birds.

      • R C Dean

        I got an invite to go watch gunnery practice. It was a full day, including the bus ride to and from the range. Gott damn I wanted to go, but had a work conflict.

    • limey

      This being a Friday pm links, I actually have an on-topic thing for once: I grew up playing this game as a kid. Taking out tanks when they are only four pixels wide requires some fancy shooting.

      • limey

        I’d like to. That looks like fun.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Thinking about Ed Wuncler’s dilemma from the previous thread, one could always pull the somewhat risky gambit of out-hypochondriac-ing the host who demands masks.

    “Well are they going to be N95 medical grade masks? Will there be a nurse in attendance to ensure the masks are properly fitted and worn correctly at all times? Will they be replaced at proper intervals? Will they be properly disposed of? How do i know they aren’t fakes?” et c.

    If the people rooting for this bullshit were forced to follow the letter of the law, they might have a change of heart. It’s not exactly the Torment of the Damned, but it’s better than nothing.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Nope. No more pretending that there is any validity to their fears.

      I ruffled some family feathers at my Dad’s memorial earlier this week because of masking. A few of them (all vaccinated) said that they were going to wear a mask because they were worried about the Delta Rona. I laughed and said they were nuts. Wasn’t appreciated, but I said I wasn’t going to argue with them. They could wear masks or not, but don’t expect me not to laugh when you say insane things.

      • Ed Wuncler

        That’s basically been my default position. Wear the masks if you want but don’t expect me to follow along. I don’t feel the need to lecture you about how wrong you are and if you want to lecture me about wrong I am, don’t be surprised when I flip you the bird and walk away.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I used to try to be courteous and just move on to other subjects. I pretty much moved past that since the vaccines came out. Now they get an earful about how I will not go along with any of their fantasies about the Rona.

        My go to is to simply laugh and tell that they are delusional. Don’t get dragged into any arguments. Just laugh and tell them that I won’t even listen to their rants.

  25. Tundra

    $4.38 for a 2×4 at HD. Trending in the right direction.

    • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

      $5.88 here. Better than seven weeks ago ($12.55!), but still too dear for me.

  26. Pope Jimbo

    Suing pipeline companies is part of our traditional way of life.

    The White Earth Nation of Ojibwe is suing the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources in tribal court on behalf of wild rice.

    The north-central Minnesota band argues that letting Enbridge Energy temporarily pump up to 5 billion gallons of groundwater during construction of the Line 3 oil pipeline puts wild rice — manoomin, in the Ojibwe language — at risk and violates members’ treaty rights.

    It’s believed to be the first case brought in a United States tribal court on behalf of the rights of nature, a recent movement gaining momentum around the globe. It seeks to establish legal rights for nature and ecosystems, rather than treating them as property.

    If Nature has rights, they must also have responsibilities. How do I sue for the current drought? Or tornadoes?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Exhausting

    • R C Dean

      White Earth Nation of Ojibwe is suing the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources in tribal court

      I haven’t looked at Indian law in ten years, but I have to wonder if the tribal court has jurisdiction over a state agency.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’m sure any favorable tribal court decision will be cited in any lawsuit filed in state or federal court.

        Who was the SC justice who thought foreign court decisions should be used as precedent in the US?

      • R C Dean

        St. Ginsburg, I believe.

    • Plisade

      Natural Rights doesn’t mean what they think it means.

    • Suthenboy

      Extortion. How much do they want?

      • Pope Jimbo

        I think the young tribe members like having all the deluded young white liberal women around. If they settle and the addled women leave what would they do for loving?

      • Ed Wuncler

        If I was President, I would shut down the Bureau of Indian Affairs and tell the tribes that they can either integrate into American society or they can be a sovereign nation but if they choose to be a sovereign nation, no more US tax dollars following into their coffers and those who choose to stay will no longer be American citizens.

        It blows what happened to the Native Americans but how they different from every other conquered group through out history and why should they receive special benefits?

      • Pope Jimbo

        In Minnesoda you could get them to cede all their treaty rights to hunting and fishing by threatening to license non-Indian casinos in downtown Minneapolis and St. Paul.

        The tribes would give up just about anything to keep their monopoly on that casino cash.

      • Ed Wuncler

        I’ve heard that reservation life is fucked up. I remember having a crush on this Indian girl in college and one of my friends who grew up on the reservations in Minnesota basically told me that I shouldn’t get involved with her because if I did I would have to deal with her family from the reservation and that’s not an ideal situation for anyone especially an outsider. In his own words he told me, “There’s a reason why I am here in Chicago and haven’t been back to the reservation in years.” I heeded his advice and stayed away.

      • Pope Jimbo

        You made a smart decision.

        1) Indian women don’t age well. All those cute teen agers turn into fat mothers.
        2) Indians are some of the most racist people I know. My dad had a black colleague who had more trouble managing his caseload on the res than anyone else. They just didn’t think that they had to listen to a black guy.
        3) Yeah res life is bad. Even the ones making lots of $$ from the casinos are fucked up.

      • creech

        So “Longmire?” That presented at least 50% of Rez Indians as seriously fucked up.

      • R C Dean

        I’m with you, Ed. The rez is an anachronism that is long past its sell-by date. I don’t think we could strip citizenship from existing citizens, but if the decide to go full sovereign, their kids wouldn’t be citizens (unless they were born outside the rez – guess where most of them are born?). Side note – I think it would be Constitutional to do away with dual citizenship – pick a team, already – which would be really interesting. I wonder how many Indians in sovereign tribes would pick the tribe over the US?

        The tricky part would be – what do you do with the reservations themselves? I guess convert the tribal government to some kind of corporation (maybe go olde schoole and have the feds do the chartering specifically for each one), and distribute shares to the tribal members?

      • Loveconstitution1789

        Most people dont know this but AmerIndians have treaties that are still in effect. Treaties have constitutional implications, so many were ignored by the US Gov many decades ago.

        America and AmerIndia tribes agreed long ago to AmerIndian sovereignty inside the United States.

        Its a mess and wont end anytime soon.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    It’s believed to be the first case brought in a United States tribal court on behalf of the rights of nature, a recent movement gaining momentum around the globe.

    I’m beginning to think innovative litigation tactics are not an unalloyed good.

  28. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    I did a thing and rented this place for a week in mid-Oct. Read the description.

    If anyone wants to hang out, let me know! I need to severely limit overnight guests, but there should be accommodation, both primitive and modern, in the area if there are more than 2 of you who want to hang out overnight. Oct 15-23.

    https://www.vrbo.com/1355413

    • EvilSheldon

      How did I not know about this place? It sounds awesome.

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        Indeed it does! Shame Canada’s utterly fucking up international travel these days . . .

  29. The Late P Brooks

    He also couldn’t recall anyone blowing up a hospital.

    R C Dean, War Criminal.

  30. Pope Jimbo

    This is how dumb and horrible 2021 is. I’m supposed to choose sides between Branch Covidian at Deadspin and Kirk Cousins? Fuck that. I hate them both.

    Oh, he says he’s doing research. That just means he’s looking up stuff on the internet that aligns with his the-sky-is-Jesus vision of the world. There is no research to be done. The NFL is happy to provide the only research you need. His team doctor would be happy to explain to him what a dummard he’s being. He’ll trust them with a rehab from any injury but not this because it would be admitting to… what exactly?

    If Trump were president now every one of these shit flingers would be saying the exact opposite thing about the vaccine. “How could any reasonable person believe the league doctor, they guy who the Big Corporations hired?”

    “The research out there is all fake stuff published by Trump fascists!”

    • rhywun

      Everyone who doesn’t get it is a moron.

      And I’m out.

      • Ed Wuncler

        This is the default argument of so many on the Left. “It’s so obvious that if you don’t agree, you’re dumb.” It also is a reminder why I no longer argue about politics on social media or IRL because they’re entrenched in their position and arguing with them is just a futile exercise that increases their ego.

      • rhywun

        The Gawker crowd eats that shit up so they keep flinging it, I guess.

    • R C Dean

      There is no research to be done.

      His Holiness Fauci has spoken ex cathedra.

    • R C Dean

      He’ll trust them with a rehab from any injury but not this because it would be admitting to… what exactly?

      Is it just me, or does this make no sense?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Well you see, rehabbing injuries is something we just started doing last spring, so it is just as dangerous and unknown as the Rona vaccines.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Also everyone knows that team doctors care more about the long term health of players than anyone. Even the players mothers.

        They would never prioritize the success of the team over the health of a player.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      This timeline is wierd.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      the-sky-is-Jesus vision

      That’s a new one to me. I’m not surprised that they’re going to the “stupid icky Jesus people” line. The few tatters left of that mask got torn off during all the covid shit. I’m not looking forward to becoming a persecuted religious minority in the next few years.

    • Agent Cooper

      Deadspin is garbage.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    The NFL is happy to provide the only research you need. </em.

    Okay, you credulous dullard.

  32. limey

    Classic Shania. Lovely.

  33. Ownbestenemy

    Either I got the position or I am being purged from my job. Got a notice I need to be reinvestigated. Typically the only time we see these is when we are moving to a new position. Only time will tell I suppose.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      Interesting – we get reinvestigated every few years. I was placed on the “lowest risk” list. It’s shameful, as a libertarian.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I guess they are supposed to do it every 5 years. My last one was 2010. So maybe routine

  34. Suthenboy

    “I am autosexual”

    On a date with me you dont need an elaborate plot. That is all you have to say.

    • Pope Jimbo

      What about autosexualism turns you off Suthen?

      Surely you aren’t some troglodyte who believes that models are innate? That a Chevy trapped in a Ford body can’t identify as a F-150?

      • R C Dean

        Look, if they haven’t had the engine swapped, I’m questioning their commitment.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        I am a VW Rabbit convertible trapped in a Ford Raptor body.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I am a Kia Sedona, been Kia for a while now, only I began as a Sephia, then transitioned to a Van……

  35. grrizzly

    Jail all the lying vaxxers

    Lying about vaccination status. Crossing state lines. Pretending to forget ID. Some people are going to intense lengths to get unauthorized COVID booster shots

    The middle-aged couple had already decided they were going to lie. If the pharmacist asked if they had already gotten a COVID vaccine, they would say no. They were at their vacation place, in Massachusetts, and how would a staffer know what they’d done in their home state.

    Vaccine providers in Massachusetts are not permitted to provide boosters, since they are not authorized by the Food and Drug Administration. But on Friday afternoon, news broke that the FDA is hastening efforts to approve extra shots for people with weakened immune systems, a move that seems likely to fuel desire among the general population, since it will be seen as legitimizing their efficacy.

    With the Delta variant surging, and breakthrough cases in Massachusetts nearing 8,000, people are already deciding they do not have time to wait. Some are crossing state lines in hopes of evading detection. Others are darting into pharmacies where they’ve heard no questions will be asked or falsely declaring that they have not already gotten a jab.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Jail? How about community service? They can write letters of apology to unvaccinated people in Cuba and other third world shitholes explaining why they need a booster more than they need any vaccination at all.

  36. mock-star

    Pennsylvania state prisons decided yesterday, at the spur of the moment, to completely segregate all unvaccinated prisoners. They will no longer be allowed to hold a job or have visits.

    • Mustang

      Beginning of the camps?

    • Sean

      How’s that gonna break along racial lines?

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        Poorly, I assume.

    • Pope Jimbo

      What about the ones who already had the Rona? Are they being segregated too?

      Minnesoda judges may have been a bit too lenient with their compassionate releases.

      I know it sucks to mock entire policies based on outlier cases, but this seems a bit egregious.

      Reinbold was wanted in connection with the death of 34-year-old Lissette Reinbold on July 9. The second-degree murder charges filed Friday in Pennington County District Court say Eric Reinbold was angry at his wife, accusing her of cheating on him and rejecting his demands for sex.

      One of her children found Lissette Reinbold’s body the next morning beside her vehicle, the charges read. She suffered stab wounds to her neck, torso and upper extremities, the criminal complaint noted.

      He was sentenced to five years in prison. U.S. District Judge John Tunheim granted Reinbold an early “compassionate release” in March 2021 from the federal lockup in Oxford, Wis.

      The defense argued that Reinbold’s health problems, including high cholesterol and borderline high blood pressure, made him especially vulnerable to contracting COVID-19 while incarcerated. The filing also pointed to his wife’s medical troubles as she cared for their children while staying employed.

      In a follow-up filing, the defense pledged that Eric Reinbold’s family members will “ensure he stays law abiding.”

      Prosecutors countered that Eric Reinbold had already contracted the virus and recovered. They also noted that the prison was virus-free at the time of their filing. “Reinbold is an active man in generally good health who appears to have recovered from COVID-19 without further incident,” the filing read.

      • mock-star

        “What about the ones who already had the Rona? Are they being segregated too?”

        Yes. The only determining factor is whether or not one had the vaccine.

        Also, I want to point out, the decision came down two days ago, not yesterday. Third shift screws you up on what day it is.

      • Count Potato

        “including high cholesterol and borderline high blood pressure”

        Those aren’t risk factors unless he is taking blood pressure meds.

    • DEG

      No… we’re not forcing you to get vaccinated. Nosirree.

    • rhywun

      That’s interesting. In NYC I’m pretty sure they just toss them out on the street. Blas likes to get the numbers down and then point at what a great job he’s doing cutting crime.

  37. wdalasio

    Is it me, or does society seem like it’s degenerating at a lightning pace? I think vile behavior has become treated as a condition and then either valorized or treated as a some sort of legitimate claim of victimhood. People seem to think they can behave like utter pieces of crap and somehow they should be respected or admired for it. It’s said that the younger generations value “authenticity”. Well, we’ve tried it. And it turns out too many people are authentically assholes. And cowardly ones at that. At this point, I’d prefer we either go back to that nice, inauthentic decency and civility or we cut all the crap and let people start beating the daylights out of the people who act this way.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      I blame Oprah.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        And Dr. Spock. 😉

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        And Mr. Spock with that needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few shit.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Nothing particular against Spock, but some internet person said recently that his/her Spock devotee mother dismissed his/her juvenile troubles as a phase.

      • Penguin

        Funny, the one with the space hippies is on now. Spock was the only crew member they didn’t call “Herbert”.

    • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

      I’m not getting quite the same vibe here in Canada, but it sure feels like it’s building to something uniquely unpleasant during my lifetime. I’m not sure what will turn it around, short of something so shocking and public that almost everyone hangs their head in shame and smartens up. And I can’t imagine what that would be (or worse, how many people would have to suffer to arrive at that place).

    • R C Dean

      And it turns out too many people are authentically assholes.

      “Look, I appreciate that you’re being authentic here, but maybe being an authentic asshole isn’t really something to strive for.”

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        When keeping it real goes wrong…

    • limey

      They turn to that because they can no longer argue in good faith for their ideas. Their ideology is muddled, horrible, and a demonstrably an abject failure. They are useful idiots for keeping some despots in power that they themselves don’t even like. The left has largely moved on from Marx and Engels. The post-modern hell they reside in intellectually is built on the nonsense of Foucault, Derrida, Guattari, Deleuze, etc. They themselves largely don’t even appreciate this because not like your dealing wit lh smart people here.

      In the Soviet system you had true believers all the way up the power hierarchy (now there’s a hilarious concept to consider in terms of a communist society) because they were shielded, willingly, from the reality that Marxism-Leninism was garbage. In the modern left you see a large and initially very conflicted and contradicting set of ideas. As one of us regularly points out, “cultural marxism” is a contradiction in terms, but I cannot emphasise strongly enough that it doesn’t matter, because thanks to the aforementioned Frenchmen, that is rationalized away without any real rationale. It is also an ideological crèche for certain pre-existing pathologies. Having said that, there is a way back. I was reminded of this by the article posted on Bari Weiss’ substack about the Central Park “Karen”. Not the article itself but the person who wrote it. The daughter of “Pastor” Fred Phelps himself and someone who escaped from, and recovered from being a true believer in the Westboro Baptist Church. It’s Friday night and I’m not going to into it any further than that right now because it’s harshing my mellow.

      • Count Potato

        Foucault would have been against lockdowns and vaccine passports.

      • limey

        I’ve get the impression that a lot of radical left people are as well. Remember, the radical left hate Biden and especially Harris. They also aren’t particularly fond of many of the people they help maintain in power, although they come in various shades of acceptance as to how honest they are with themselves over this. I’m sure that many of them hate gauleiters like Lightfoot, Whitmer, Newsom etc, but the tradeoff in keeping the bootheel on deplorable necks is what keeps them in line.

        One piece of useless anecdata: a Bernie-enthusiast friend of mine, who is mostly sort of embarassed by, and ignores a lot of the identity politics nonsense and “modern left” agenda, explained to me his disappointment with Biden being on the ticket last year. He really doesn’t like him but I’m guessing he voted D because orange man bad. The D’s put a gun to their voters heads over Trump. Vote in the senile puppet and his cackling PR disaster drug warrior VP or the bad orange man might win again! Oh no!!! The puppet part at least is a concession to the far left, but not necessarily the more anarchic (nihilistic) left who want to tear everything down, because I’m not entirely sure they trust that all the string-pullers are going to be in their favor. I guess they probably detest the MIC, unless they realise control of it. Well I suppose that’s in the works, too. eifjhqsiofhasiofghawioh

      • Ted S.

        My understanding is that Khrushchev was the last true believer among the Soviet leaders.

      • limey

        At the very very top, yes. Gorby was more open minded I suppose.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        Have you heard of Putin. Guy was KGB.

        There are plenty of commies in russia but once russians had a taste of capitalism, the best the commies can hope for is fascism and socialism.

    • Agent Cooper

      I will say THE LINKS are mostly bad news in some form or another. There’s plenty of good stuff happening that’s just never reported.

    • Count Potato

      It’s not you.

    • DEG

      Fuck Murphy.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      What the hell ever happened to arbitrary and capricious? Didn’t that used to be a thing when it came to government pronouncements?

      • R C Dean

        I dunno. Mask mandates for children sound arbitrary and capricious to me. I don’t think its ever gone out of fashion.

    • Suthenboy

      Has anyone cited any studies, save the fake one the CDC put out after the mask mandates, that show that masks work? No, they haven’t because of the bazillion studies done over the last on hundred or so years there are none. Those studies were prompted by our experience during the Spanish flu where we also had mask mandates and we needed A) to understand why they dont work, and B) surely one more study will show that security blankets provide security.

      We are drowning in an ocean of lunacy.

    • rhywun

      Another lesson in who really has the power in state government. Those masks aren’t intended to protect children.

      • Sensei

        Yup.

        Interesting calculation. NJEA vs Team Blue parent’s who will vote in 4 months.

  38. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “It is difficult to describe the impact — physical and personal — of that first shot. It felt like a meteor had struck the earth in front of me. A deep shock wave coursed through my body, the recoil rippling through my arms and right shoulder with astounding power. Being that close to an explosion of such magnitude — controlled and focused as it was — rattled me.”

    https://www.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/shots-fired-a-reporter-visits-vermonts-first-indoor-gun-range/Content?oid=33532211

    A reporter visits Vermont’s first indoor gun range and fires an AR-15, the above which is a description of that shoulder pounding experience. There’s a pic of him firing it and it looks like a 5.56 so…he’s lying I guess?

    • DEG

      Nor have I felt the impulse to own a gun for personal protection, whether due to privilege or delusion or both. I’ve also figured, rightly or wrongly, that owning a gun — statistically speaking — would tend to make my family’s home less safe, not more.

      He helpfully identifies himself as an idiot.

      • LJW

        I’ve also figured, rightly or wrongly, that owning a gun — statistically speaking — would tend to make my family’s home less safe, not more.

        Do you have baseball bats, knives, or stairs in your home? Those would also make your home less safe… Statistically speaking.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Don’t tell him about swimming pools.

      • R C Dean

        At least 3x more likely to kill a kid than the ‘Rona.

    • Raven Nation

      Somewhat related: wife and I had a personal lesson at an indoor range last weekend. I will say that the report of other guns six feet away can be distracting. And loud.

      • LJW

        Our range has two rooms. One for the people who want to make noise and another for training. It works out well.

    • R C Dean

      Apparently, the recoil knocked drugs out of his ass, too.

      • Ted S.

        I’m glad I scrolled down.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      No, he’s just a Pussy,

    • limey

      I wanted to go to a range in ‘merica but I couldn’t fit it in. Maybe if I smuggle myself in across the Mexican border (no “jab” required) I could go next time.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Ey oop!

        Is the feng shui any better?

      • limey

        It hasn’t changed yet but I might give it some weekend love. I need some new picatures to hang. Maybe put some shelves up in there. My current technique is to just fall asleep on the couch, wake up at pee o’clock, move to the bed via the bathroom while I’m sufficiently zombified. I do fancy a Murphy bed or whatever they’re called.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Van Gogh had six pictures (two self-referential), per the article I posted yesterday.

      • limey

        Oh yes, sorry Tox, I saw that later after the next post was up. Inspirational. I currently have one picture up in there. It’s sexy but art sexy. I think I’ll continue the theme.

      • Mojeaux

        Do you have knickknacks/memorabilia? That usually helps me when I’m unsettled in a place.

      • limey

        Yes. Good thinking. This is what I’m thinking the shelving will be for, largely, I hate clutter but I need something.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Yeah, just move to the south of France.

      • Mojeaux

        Books, too. Ones close to my heart.

      • limey

        I might just need a second copy of this for the bedroom then.

      • Ted S.

        Put a mirror on the ceiling.

        Or try this.

      • limey

        I would for Goldie.

      • Q Continuum

        Only after you work off your debt through prostitution.

      • limey

        I didn’t think I’d be eligible for a government job.

    • rhywun

      LOL I thought he was embedded in Afghanistan or something.

  39. Zwak, jack off, all trades

    Too many masks when I was out running errands this afternoon, and some businesses seem to be requiring it. Which sucks green donkey dicks.

    But, even the place most likely to see masks was only 40%, so they might not be winning. Would it be wrong if I started telling the masked they should get the vacks? Should I not do that? Question for the glib hive.

    Anyway, picked up beer, got a Pelican Oceanic Pale. https://www.thebrewsite.com/pelican-brewing-paddleback-oceanic-pale-ale/

    Quite tasty. I do wish they would make a good tasting 3.0, as then you could day drink all the time.

  40. Mojeaux

    As of this morning, my friend was not doing well and was on 6 liters O2. I do not know how she is doing this evening because I have not wanted to bother her. I do not like to be bothered when I am sick.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      Poor lady…keeping all my fingers crossed for a quick recovery

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      merde.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Sorry Mo

      Hope she improves soon

    • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

      Like you, I don’t like to be bothered when I’m ill.

      But maybe she needs some contact to know that she hasn’t been forgotten.

      • Mojeaux

        Her kids are … absent.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Aw jeez.

    • DEG

      Sorry. I hope she improves soon.

      • Mojeaux

        Hey! You’re back!

    • Count Potato

      Sorry, but maybe she wouldn’t feel bothered?

      • Mojeaux

        I just texted her that I was thinking of her and asked if she had any updates, instead of asking stupid questions like I did this morning.

        “How are you doing and are you comfortable?”

        “I’m sick.”

        *sigh*

      • Gender Traitor

        This is the same friend who couldn’t decide to which hospital she wanted you to take her? I trust she brains better when she’s not ill.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes, but I don’t brain good when I’m sick, either. Oh hell, I don’t brain good most days.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Hopefully this doesn’t apply to your situation. When my dad was close to his last days, my sister asked him how he was feeling. He looked at her and said, “Ask better questions.”

      • Mojeaux

        Right?!

        With my mom, when she’s in the hospital, I just go and sit with her. Not a whole lot of talking inless she needs me to do something. They won’t let me stay with my friend.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      I need Moj’s romance-novelist experience to help me with these euphemisms

      • Mojeaux

        The very center of her being raged with need.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        That’s the stuff

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        No! This is how Mummy met Daddy!

      • Mojeaux

        I’d like to see the deity that could stick his dick in an active volcano.

      • limey

        Surtur?

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        Er, actually I think I could pass on that opportunity.

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        Oh, that’s good.

        I just need to change the sex before telling the SU.

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        “But darling! — the very centre of my being rages with need!”
        “Get away from me.”

      • Mojeaux

        LOL

      • Q Continuum

        The motion and friction of the enormous hardness deep inside her caused trembling and explosive waves from her soaking wet declivity.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Her caldera yearned for an explosive release.

      • Mojeaux

        SW wins the internet.

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        SW’s contribution has a certain parsimony that Q’s, for all his effort, can’t quite match up to. Sorry, Q. I still love ya.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      I think a little bit of aurora is visible. They’re very strong tonight

      • Suthenboy

        Since I am so far south we dont get those often. We had some back in the ’70’s but none I am aware of since, thus I dont know much about them. I thought it was only a winter phenomena.

  41. Suthenboy

    Elections have consequences. David Vitter was a shoe-in for governor until the conservatives here found out he was fooling around with prostitutes so we ended up with a commie governor that has proclaimed a mask mandate statewide.
    Prostitutes, really? You dont vote for people you idiots, you vote for policies. Vitter’s record on policy was great. I dont care if he is in love with a German Shepherd, that is his personal business and none of mine. Now we are stuck with this commie idiot.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Just out of curiosity, how many masks are you actually seeing with this idiotic mandate in place and how likely are your local cops to enforce it? And yes, in stupid democracy elections have stupid consequences.

      • Q Continuum

        Stupid people make up a stupid majority which collectively makes stupid decisions and leads to universal stupidity.

        IOW: dumbass human shit, as usual.

      • Suthenboy

        Indoors, many. No the local cops aren’t likely to enforce but private business owners likely will out of fear of fines. It creates a lot of uncertainty so the businesses are playing it safe.

    • Q Continuum

      You don’t pay her for the sex, you pay her to leave.

    • rhywun

      To be fair, sexual dalliances have saved NY from some truly awful politicians over the years. Elliot Spitzer, Eric Schneiderman (look him up), Anthony Weiner, and Andrew “Better-late-than-never” Cuomo to name a few off the top of my head.

      But yeah, the replacements do tend to be worse 🙁

      Except that blind guy we briefly had for gov wasn’t too bad.

    • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

      I’ve been past that beach. It’s . . . interesting to see the kind of people who want the wash of a hot jet engine to play over their semi-naked bodies and then blow them backwards into the surf. I still await the day when I hear that some pilot mis-judged the approach and plowed into hundreds of beachgoers with no survivors.

    • Suthenboy

      I knew people did that but I didnt know you could buy a tour.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        It’s a cruise excursion in my case

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        Those people are idiots. If there’s any FOD on that runway at all, they’re gonna get it blasted into them at well over 200 KPH.

        No thank you.

  42. Suthenboy

    Oh Lord, it is only 6 O’clock? How can I make another hour go by quickly so I can get in bed? I am tired and achy.

    • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

      More vodka.

      • Q Continuum

        Drink enough of it and time between now and tomorrow morning will disappear.

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        Yep. Stuff’s magic. Which is why I don’t drink any of it. Got enough problems.

      • rhywun

        Don’t mind if I do.

        *brb*

      • Derpetologist

        fun fact: in Swahili, hakuna mavodka means ‘no memories for the rest of your night’

    • Ted S.

      You could get in bed now.

      • Suthenboy

        No, I have to shephard Mrs. Suthenboy to bed. I make sure she has all of her accoutrements…ciggarettes, lighter, ashtray, ice water, phone and a bite to eat. She takes her Ambien then eats a snack in the bed. I dont take my Ambien until after that is done so that I make sure she is safe in bed…I dont want her stumbling and falling down after taking her Ambien. We had ceramic tile put throughout the house and that stuff is very unforgiving if you fall on it. She has fallen twice, thankfully with no injury, so I am not taking any chances.

        I have to wait for her to finish watching her dragon movie before I can get started. Oh, and then I have to do ‘Bed time pee!’ for the dogs, pass out two treats each when they come back in….whew, this bed time business is a job.

      • Derpetologist

        You should take Ritalin with your Ambien, so you can focus on your dreams.

    • ignoreLander

      OK, that’s actually really cute. Never thought I’d say that….

    • westernsloper

      That cat is awesome!

      • Hyperion

        That ain’t a dog! That’s a bad mr. kittah! He’s just sitting those dumb Knines up for when he becomes Bad Mr. Kittah Supreme Overlord!

    • Suthenboy

      *Biden shrugs* “I have no idea. Conspiracy theories!”

      • Hyperion

        Hey Suthen, you going to have any of that land in Tahiti for sale after you sell your timber? I might be interested in a hectare or two. And mabye even in a few discounted 2x4s to finish my deck.

      • Suthenboy

        Sorry but I dont reduce acreage, I increase it. I am just one generation of steward. My job is to pass it down.
        I could maybe give you a life estate on some. That would not cost you a dime. Well, there are the property taxes….

      • Hyperion

        I mean as long as their are no mask mandates, I’m in.

      • Hyperion

        there, damnit.

    • ignoreLander

      I know it’s not more common, and like everything else it’s a function of us being able to get so much news, and so fast. But when I was a kid pedophilia seemed so rare and foreign. Now it’s freaking everywhere and I hear a new story every day. It was such a taboo but turns out it’s way more prevalent than I every thought.

      • Suthenboy

        There have always been a lot of sick fucks out there.

      • Hyperion

        NOW WITH MOAR SICK FUCKS!

    • Hyperion

      From the people who are promoting ‘the hips on the drag queen go ‘swish swish swish’ as a great idea for childen’s TV programming?’.

  43. Rat on a train

    Was over on youtube. The ad in the video select sidebar is “Am I Gay? Test now” with a link to an online test. I would think that would be an in person test.

    • ignoreLander

      in person test

      Yeah they’ll show you IN-person, alright….

      Badaboomski!

    • Derpetologist

      fun fact: it is possible to avoid being drafted into the Turkish army by proving you are gay. That proof requires a picture of you being penetrated with your face and the other guy’s face clearly visible.

      “Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?”

      satire idea

      Olympics to Replace Medals With Participation Trophies

    • limey

      In my younger days a couple of drunk girls asked me if I was gay when they were hitting on me and I wasn’t into it. I really regret not carrying a picture of David Hasselhoff with me for that eventuality so I could say “hold on, let me check”, and whip it out. “Nope, sorry, just not that into you. Thanks, again Dave.”

  44. westernsloper

    There’s roughly $43 million for electric vehicle charging stations in Montana,

    Why? The stations here were paid for by Tesla. I know this because I asked the dudes who work at the welding supply shop I go to across from said charging stations when I was ready to bitch about them. They took four or five spots in a public city owned parking area and Tesla paid to put in the charging stations. I am not sure how I feel about that but I felt better about that than tax dollars doing it.

    • Hyperion

      The dollars are for the coal fired power stations that supply the electricity for the charging stations. Who would have thought that costs money?

    • Suthenboy

      Where do you think Tesla got that money?

      • Hyperion

        Mars bucks? In a few years, you’ll have to load a wheelbarrow full of dollars on to the space elevator to get a Mars buck. I mean one.

      • westernsloper

        I know where they got it if we are talking the round about way. I was surprised that the city did not fund said charging stations.

      • limey

        In the UK it’s still only Tesla that is a realistic idea in the EV market because by grift or by graft, their charging network is lightyears ahead of the generic one used for other cars like the Chinese “MG” EVs, Porsche, etc.

  45. Hyperion

    I guess idiot president says 350 million citizens in the USA are vaccinated. And there are only 325 million of us. Congratulations idiot president, you’re a miracle worker just like you said.

    • Suthenboy

      This is the evil of collectivism. Everyone must do XYZ but there will always be resisters. They start with the carrot and when that doesnt entice everyone they start using the stick. When that still doesnt get everyone on board they go to the gulags. When that still doesnt work they go to the rifle and mass graves. We are entering the stick stage now.

      Contrast that with libertarianism’s idea of self ownership built upon ‘Go away and leave me alone.’

  46. Derpetologist

    satire ideas

    Supreme Court Strikes Down Executive Order Because Biden Didn’t Say ‘Simon Says’

    Army Tests New Camouflage to Hide Generals From Congress

    F-35 May Someday Cost Less than a Marine Corps Dress Uniform

    NRA Re-brands Guns as ‘Slavery-Stoppers’

    Feminist Reboot of Coyote Ugly Thrills Feminists

    Turkey Signs Agreement With Little Miss Muffet On ‘Kurds in the Way’ Issue

    The Olympics To Re-brand as The Marianacs

    France Brings Back Guillotine to Punish Overtime

  47. The Late P Brooks

    Biden announces new innovation and economic efficiency initiative to be led by AFSCME and SEIU.

    • Derpetologist

      National Debt Shrinks As Mafia Takes Charge of US Treasury