I Don’t Even Know How to Insult You

by | Aug 25, 2021 | Cryptids, Deep State, Military, National Security | 189 comments

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

ITS NICE WE DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHAT THAT MEANS ANYMORE.  THE ADULTS ARE IN CHARGE AGAIN, AND ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.  THE MEAN TWEETS ARE SILENCED AND THE Q CONSPIRACISTS ARE ROTTING QUIETLY IN THEIR HOLDING CELLS.  THE WORLD’S DESCENT INTO MADNESS IS NOW BUOYED BY THE CALM, RATIONAL DEMEANOR OF PEOPLE THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN CHARGE.

THE THOUGHT OF THE ORANJ MAN LURKING IN SILENT DESPAIR ON TWITTER ON HIS FREEDOM PHONE ENGORGES MY SYNTHETIC GENITALS.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED

Date:  25 August 2021, 1800 (UTC)

Location:  Vandenburg SFB, CA

“We identified the anomaly again, xir.  It appears to be coalescing around a Chinese military satellite in the alpha quadrant.”  Specialist Hernandez said.

”This better not be another one of those ISS waste gates, again.” Major Blutarsky said as xhe arrived out of the officer of the day quarters.  “I don’t like when my meditation routine is interrupted.”

”No xir, this is not another shit storm.  The radar signature is different.”  Specialist Hernandez replied.

”Its called opening the waste gate.  I expect a Spaceperson to be a professional and act professionally with a bearing befitting of a professional in the profession of arms.

….Waste.  Gate.  Specialist.  Understand?”

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED

”Xir, you realize your beard would be considered out of regs if you still identified as male?”  Specialist Hernandez replied.

”I don’t need this shit from you, Specialist.”  Xhe rubbed her chin, as the 0200 shadow was a bit itchy.  “What is it?”

”The anomaly moved through a debris field and appeared to collide with Yunhai 1-02.  The Chinese state media are beginning to report it collided with the debris field.”

”That’s not whats happening.  What is this?”

”It looks more like the Russian module that fired its thrusters unexpectedly a few weeks ago.”  Specialist Hernandez said.  “Thrusting off and on and off and on.”

”That’s a little too close to the truth there La Bamba.  What else do you know?”  A tallow skinned man in a cheap, tan suit emerged slowly through a cloud of cigarette smoke out of the officer of the day quarters.  Wet, yellow stains encircled his armpits.  Major Blutarsky could only stare at the moist wool material around the man’s breasts.  The stench of menthols, Nashville hot barbecue sauce, gas station sushi, and Santorum filled the air.

”How…did you get past Security Forces?”  Major Blutarsky asked.

”What?  The Chair Force guys?”  The man replied, trying to contain hoarse laughter.  He looked Major Blutarsky up and down.  “I don’t even know how to insult you.  What the fuck are you?”

“Well…I am outraged by—“

”This IS an outrage!  This whole thing is SPACE SMITH.  The Russian thrusters, Chicoms losing control of a rocket, the Space Force being run by women, randos flapping in a C-17 wheel well, this Chinese shit storm.”

”Waste Gate”

”Don’t interrupt me!  Its all SPACE SMITH! An transcendentalist being that rapes everything on its way through time and space!”

”Are you one of those Q people?” Major Blutarsky asked.

”Are you one of those people that believe the media?  Next you’re going to tell me there really are troops in Taiwan, frogs aren’t gay, there really were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, John Roberts is being blackmailed because of his ties to Epstein, and the president wasn’t rubbing one out while Kabul burned.”

”I…can’t even.”  Major Blutarsky replied.

”I’m going back to my station.”  Specialist Hernandez said.  “You guys are retarded.”

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

ITS NICE WE DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHAT THAT MEANS ANYMORE.  THE ADULTS ARE IN CHARGE AGAIN, AND ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.  THE MEAN TWEETS ARE SILENCED AND THE Q CONSPIRACISTS ARE ROTTING QUIETLY IN THEIR HOLDING CELLS.  THE WORLD’S DESCENT INTO MADNESS IS NOW BUOYED BY THE CALM, RATIONAL DEMEANOR OF PEOPLE THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN CHARGE.

THE THOUGHT OF THE ORANJ MAN LURKING IN SILENT DESPAIR ON TWITTER ON HIS FREEDOM PHONE ENGORGES MY SYNTHETIC GENITALS.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED

 

About The Author

SPACE SMITH

SPACE SMITH

189 Comments

  1. The Gunslinger

    BY WASTE GATE MEAN…

    • Bobarian LMD

      “Thrusting off and on and off and on.”

      Glibporn.

      Just missing a space-cod-piece.

  2. Translucent Chum

    “I don’t even know how to insult you.

    Nice.

  3. pistoffnick

    ENGORGED SYNTHETIC GENITALS

    How did you know my password?

    • Ownbestenemy

      CAUSE SPACE SMITH IS PART OF YOU

      • pistoffnick

        SPACE SMITH is Tulpa?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Everything is tulpa.

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        D00d, that’s meta.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I thought that had something to do with OnlyFans disallowing and then vaguely re-allowing various degrees of self-torture.

  4. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Watched Reminiscence on HBO.

    Meh, Rebecca Ferguson is gorgeous and the setting is interesting, but the plot is meh and the plot devices are numerous.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I should add another meh to that review.

      • blackjack

        So, a forgettable movie?

      • Not Adahn

        meh

  5. westernsloper

    Within minutes, the space station began to lose attitude control.

    I am space station.

  6. Grumbletarian

    I finally got the offer for that promotion I wanted. HR’s hang-up was related to how much of a promotion this was, but I really took a lesser spot initially to get my foot in the door, so to speak. They settled on granting me a promotion one grade more than they normally allow, rather than two. If I don’t win the Powerball tonight, I start my new position next month. Whew!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Grats!?

    • blackjack

      Congrats, I am glad that worked out for you!

    • Fourscore

      Good show, Grumbles, you da man!

    • Drake

      Nice!

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Right on, brother!

      How big is your seasteading island going to be if you win the Powerball?

      • Grumbletarian

        Well it would have to accommodate Glib HQ at least.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        And is there going to be a limit on the number of strippers one can bring whose backsides will be used snort lines of coke off of?

      • blackjack

        The bouncers will be screening female heavy. Bring two or more, or you ain’t getting in.

    • rhywun

      Congrats.

      Any promotion I get puts me in Director territory and I don’t want that.

      Why can’t they get that I just want to ride out my current position for another decade or so and then cash out…?

      /half-kidding

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        /half-kidding

        No you’re not. Admit it.

      • rhywun

        I will cop to ¼ kidding.

        I haven’t made my mind up and there are lots of variables in the equation.

    • Grumbletarian

      Thanks, everyone. I sort of feel like Rocky at the top of the steps.

  7. blackjack

    I’m just wrapped up in trying to avoid taking my injections like a good subject. Whoever reposted Ozy’s link about the distinction between Comirnaty and PfizerNbiotech, thanks. If I can’t get my doctor to issue an exemption recommendation, this might be my best tact. I guess I’d have to shop around at a few vax sites and request the Comirnaty branded version. Somehow document that they only have the EUA and that’s not acceptable to me. The only thing is, I’d have to bow out if they actually produce the new stuff. I don’t know if they’d keep track of that or not. I’m pretty sure asking for Comirnaty will get a constant, “Yes,” followed by them not actually having it. It’ll be a certain argument everywhere. I doubt that I can make the claim without proving I tried to find the new version. Anyway, that’s my biggest stress, right now.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Good luck! We feds in the DOT are still waiting for actual guidance…cause we haven’t received any…

      • blackjack

        We got ours, but it’s pretty vague. It lists two deadlines for shots, one for the first and the other for the second OR the J&J. Then it says what happens after those two, well, actually there’s a consequence for missing the first also, there’s a “learning” session presented by the personnel dept. Then, there’s some other stuff after the second deadline. Then, there’s a third deadline for reporting status, and some other stuff after that deadline for those who still haven’t gotten jabbed. Typical government clusterfuck. If I didn’t have the kid, I’d push it right through to the end. I doubt they’re going to fire anyone. They already halved staffing with the retirement incentives and then shut down all O/T for the whole year and froze hiring. Now, they’re going to start firing people who otherwise are fine, just for not being democrats? I think not.

    • rhywun

      What happened to that religious exemption I keep hearing about? They were lying about that, weren’t they.

      • blackjack

        I dunno, but I’m not really very good at pretending I believe in weird stuff. On the list of stuff I can possibly fake, that doesn’t appear.

      • rhywun

        So they don’t accept “strongly held beliefs” then. Good to know that this is exactly the level of theater I knew it was.

      • blackjack

        Spaghetti monster is still worth a try. All we got is a deadline to submit requests and a very vague sense of who to submit them to. I’ leaning medical. I just need to show I have had an allergic reaction to a vaccine and that I have a history of fainting when getting injections. And, get my doc to sign off on those.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Good luck. Word on the grapevine (via buddy’s nurse wife who tried to get some docs to do it) is docs are getting…pressured… if they sign off on exemptions.

      • Gadfly

        Maybe try saying you are a devotee of the Cult of Reason. The fact that it hasn’t been an organized religion in centuries would give you a lot of latitude as to doctrine you believe, I would think. In any case, sounds more respectable than the FSM, and has a more distinguished (if problematic) pedigree.

    • blackjack

      What’s interesting is all the weasel words the FDA uses to scam people into taking the UEA version still. Like, if people knew that the full autho version enabled them to sue if they had serious side effects and the UEA one didn’t, it’d be a no brainer. So the FDA, like all objective and fair minded government entities, bends over backwards to prevent the public from finding this out. I flipped through a number of FDA documents and they all follow this trend. Btw, I’m considering copywriting “full autho”

      • blackjack

        For instance, the text says repeatedly that the two versions are to be used interchangeably. It mentions that the formula is the same. It says they are both still available. At the very bottom, in a footnote, there’s the line, ” there is a legal distinction between the two.”

        Yeah, that distinction is the fact that the manufacturer can be held liable for the new one and not the old. Minor quibble maybe, but I’d like to know that, personally.

      • blackjack

        Flipping through the link’s links, it might be the case that they aren’t liable even with the full autho, as against the semi autho. Maybe it the emergency declaration, I don’t know. Hard to find good info.

      • blackjack

        Yeah, the more I read, the more i come to think that the magic “emergency” declaration makes all of these people immune to liability. Pretty sure this article is wrong on that aspect. I retract everything that suggests otherwise. Not sure what the difference is between full and semi autho at this point.

      • Gender Traitor

        Semi autho = the FDA paper pushers have only received the “down payment.”

        Full autho = they’ve been paid in full.

      • blackjack

        Either way, you’ve been shot.

    • Zwak, jack off, all trades

      Yes, I get to listen to the massive shitshow about this at my wife’s work. I can’t say any more than that per the rules of my marriage, but I bet the implementation will be suable six ways from Sunday.

  8. limey

    Okay this is my favourite post of the year so far that isn’t by Ozy. Does anyone fancy writing some SPACE SMITH vs Captain Mary Sue fan fic? That sounds like I’m asking someone to write an account of off-brand feminist Super Man being raped by a cosmic cryptid, but I do not condone that at all. Besides, I think she would totally be a top, given a couple three shots of space whiskey, and besides, I might be the only person here who actually enjoyed Captain Marvel the movie.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I am thinking something along the lines of Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Just substitute SPACE SMITH in for V’Ger.

      • limey

        That, but at least an hour shorter, please.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        They could’ve done the same thing in a pretty good TNG episode.

    • Bobarian LMD

      The name of the movie was Shazam.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      I might be the only person here who actually enjoyed Captain Marvel the movie.

      I thought it was okay. I only watched it once, though.

  9. Fourscore

    You were in my last unit, weren’t you? I remember days like that. In fact, I wrote Op Plans that were less coherent than that and my CO signed off on them and they got sent out to subordinate units for implementation. I miss the Old Days, when keeping the troops busy was the order of the day.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      We had a bunch of guys in my unit that submitted an official request for ‘Jedi Knight Training’, slipped in amongst several legitimate requests, thinking that the brass would come back and say, “Very funny, assholes. Now go fix it.” Only to have it come back approved and requesting funding estimates. Unfortunately, getting travel orders to Dagobah is a bit of a challenge.

      • blackjack

        I bet the MIC is still trying to exhaust the light saber budget they got in the eighties.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        I had an absurd amount of fun running a SPENDEX rocket range. What red-blooded American would be disappointed with being given a bunch of explosive rockets (LAWs, SMODs, M136s, etc.) and being told to fire them all before the day was over? The administrative/procedural overhead was a serious PITA, but totally worth it.

        A lightsaber SPENDEX… I am pretty sure that I would need to consult a physician, what with the hardon lasting more than four hours.

  10. Spudalicious

    ”I’m going back to my station.” Specialist Hernandez said. “You guys are retarded.”

    This is a mexican sharpshooter cameo, isn’t it?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      No. I managed to make E-5.

  11. Tundra

    I didn’t know we had that many troops in Taiwan.

    Seems like a bad idea.

    Will the Man In The Tan Suit save the day?

    Because I kind of doubt it,

    • Fourscore

      Important to wear the tan suit before Labor Day…

      Sartorial expert is Sen John Kennedy, (R-LA). I like that guy, even if his Mom dresses him a little funny

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I’m not expert on Kennedy, but he seems immune to the childishness that is the coin of the realm anymore

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I never got that, why can’t people wear white pants in the winter?

      • rhywun

        You’ve never lived in a wintry climate, have you.

      • Gustave Lytton

        *ques up pictures of Peary expedition*…

      • rhywun

        ques

        I can’t even with that.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Thinking queue and spelling cue. Brain is dead tonight.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        You’ve never lived in a wintry climate, have you.

        Believe it or not, I have.

      • rhywun

        I think the answer to your question is two-pronged:

        1. Black contrasts better with white than white does
        2. Black hides winter schmutz better

      • Nephilium

        /looks at grey salt rings on black jeans after walking through the slush.

        Sure about that second point?

  12. Tres Cool

    I just woke up…3rd shift problems.

    No Zoom call tonight ? Who am I drunkenly going to show my dick to, other than ex’s via text ?

    • blackjack

      Everybody in the NY state governor’s office?

      • Tres Cool

        I heard its been done already. I need a fresh venue.

      • Tres Cool

        Color me there, once I find some pants.

      • MikeS

        Where are you?

  13. MikeS

    ”I’m going back to my station.” Specialist Hernandez said. “You guys are retarded.”

    I assume he’s mainly talking about Spudalicious.

    • Spudalicious

      You’re a dick.

      *raises glass*

      • MikeS

        Says the cock.

        *raises glass*

  14. LCDR_Fish

    Nice story. Gotta recommend the Aristillus books by Travis Corcoran. A nice continuation of early Pournelle with lunar libertarians taking on the Earth. The army there has “Alternately Abled Soldiers” AAS including wheelchairs, erc because they can’t exclude anyone. Some pretty hilarious scenes.

    • Spudalicious

      Sounds interesting.

    • blackjack

      Heh, I just found a hundred peso Phillipine bill that floated into the shop. Looked it up and it’s worth about two bucks American. Weird shit floats around an international airport.

      • MikeS

        That’s cool to find one in circulation. 70+ years after the fact.

        The main reason I posted it was to be a pendant regarding a quick conversation in the Wednesday Zoom. But it’s a very cool niche of collecting. I enjoy it.

      • Gender Traitor

        to be a pendant

        Not of a lamppost, I hope! ?

      • MikeS

        Dammit! You pedanted the pedant!

      • Gender Traitor

        ::breathes on knuckles, polishes them on lapel::

      • rhywun

        I remember receiving all kinds of weird coins and sometimes even bills back when people used to use cash.

      • dbleagle

        The USG wasn’t sure they would hold Hawaii so these were circulated out here during the war.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawaii_overprint_note

        The idea was with the overprint and brown seal the gov could quickly demonetize them if the Japanese took the islands. (I have a couple. )

        They also did the same thing with yellow sealed currency paid to soldiers in North Africa.

      • MikeS

        Yeah, I have a fellow numismatist friend whose 3 children all worked retail jobs growing up. They found all kinds of cool stuff for him over the years.

  15. Yusef drives a Kia

    Hahaha, what are you thinkin?

  16. Gustave Lytton

    The Wu Mao Army is a paper tiger. Turn it into the Forbidden Glass Parking Lot. Just remember, in two hours they’ll be hungry for another nuke.

  17. slumbrew

    THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

    THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

    THIS TRANSMISSION IS IS CLASSIFIED.

    That always makes me think This transmission is coming to you…

  18. Gustave Lytton

    Commie commissioners used the spectre of wildfire risk to enact their unAmerican ban on fireworks.

    • Ownbestenemy

      *taps foot* called it a couple of days ago.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Oops but I called that they would get chair of the humanitarian committe. Close enough

  19. Ownbestenemy

    Normally this is something I would find some weird alternative site to post but here is my general knowledge and understanding of the past year and eight months.

    – Virus starts gaining ground in December in China. I really do remember reading reports of this, but looking back and how flooded the internet gets, it is really hard to research it to confirm.

    – Starts spreading here in the states, media jumps in and starts up its ‘trackers’; similar to when only certain presidents were in office and tracking deaths in Afghanistan/Iraq

    – By May, general knowledge of how, who, and what sections of our society are known to be susceptible yet we ignore that and go for the blanket approach.

    – Word got out that there may be some prophylactics or pre-treatments, but they are shuttered immediately and with great force from there on out.

    – US and much the world decide that isolation is key and start shuttering people indoors/shutting down businesses and deciding who is ‘essential’ and ‘non-essential’ Walmart/Amazon sing with glee.

    – Fast forward, vaccines enter the scene. People decide on their own if they want or not and while initially slow (over holidays duh), it picks up but then plateaus.

    – More studies and information about possible prophylactics and effectiveness come out – immediately dismissed and called mis-information

    – Back to masking to show absolutely they knew vaccine efficacy was shit but we won’t address that now.

    – Shit…we have 30% holdouts….lets segregate them!

    – Vaccines start breaking down

    – Boosters the way out!

    – Doubledown on how great the vaccines are

    Is that about it? Did I miss some bullet points?

    • slumbrew

      “Totally didn’t escape from a lab. You’re a tin-foil-hat crazy person for even suggesting the possibility.”

      • rhywun

        “You don’t need a mask.”

        “Two weeks to flatten the curve.”

        “Hug a Chinaman.”

        “You need two masks.”

        So many chestnuts.

    • KSuellington

      If you oppose lockdowns or masks you want people to die.

      For a time, that was proposed.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Good luck with your recall. If Newsome stays, I’m sure he’ll take it as vindication of all that he’s done and really put the screws to the state.

      • KSuellington

        Indeed. I imagine it gets worse if he doesn’t get shitcanned.

      • Ownbestenemy

        As a child of Cali…it is sad what has been done to that state.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Two Presidential libraries in my lifetime, but anyway.

      • rhywun

        For a time? This is the standard belief still.

    • rhywun

      Did I miss some bullet points?

      – A handful of pharmaceutical companies enjoy record profits

    • Chafed

      Why bother?

      • slumbrew

        “we got ’em this time!”

        alternatively,

        “”Gentlemen, We’ve Got to Protect Our Phony Baloney Jobs!””

      • Ownbestenemy

        Cause people were reelected on the Bengahzi one? A political play to retain/gain power.

    • Ownbestenemy

      “…and his (Biden) administration should preserve all records on the issue.” Well, all those records should always be preserved in a free and open society. Okay that made me laugh and made up my mind to go to sleep

  20. Gustave Lytton

    Voiceless labiodental fricative, part of the professional repertoire of a cunning linguist.

    • rhywun

      Thufferin’ thuccotash!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Divine

  21. Tres Cool

    Vishnu H. Kosresh. I jjsy woke uo on the crpet with a jar pf pickles and a bag of pepperoni.
    I got roofied yu the Zoom call, ya’all.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Morning, Tres! Have you decided to live?

      I just scarfed down a bag of parmesan crisps in one sitting.

    • Sean

      These euphemisms keep getting weirder.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Mornin, Ralph.

      • Tres Cool

        Hey Sam.
        I awoke long enough run my trashish to the road.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Mikhaila Peterson has your avatar hanging behind her.

      • Sean

        ?☕

    • rhywun

      Well, I’ve had my fill of stupid for the day. Thanks!

      • rhywun

        Oh crap. That was meant for the “milk crate challenge”. In my defense, all your morning lynx look alike before coffee.

    • Tulip

      Working his way up to picnic baskets

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s stupid but as it comes to the viral challenges stuff not that stupid.

    • Brochettaward

      Two years? Really? How much time are Governor Wolf and The Good Doctor Levine looking at for spreading the virus in nursing homes and causing death?

      This comment sums up my thoughts.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        If you had but one.

  22. PieInTheSky

    Sean did anyone tell you your links seem a bit to local?

  23. UnCivilServant

    Morning.

    A remote day after an extra long day full of meetings.

    I’m not really awake, but I am here.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, U – and TO’G and Pie and Sean.

      I honestly don’t know what I’ll have to do at work today, except maybe plug in the work hours of our four new hires from before they were set up in the timekeeping system and sort the mail.

      Workload-wise, this would have been a good week to take some time off, but it’s too hot here for it to have been pleasant, and I’d rather wait to travel until after Labor Day, when I suspect lodging prices will be lower.

      • UnCivilServant

        I got your email response and sent another.

        I should probably connect to work soon and check my calendar. I don’t know what I have to do today.

      • Gender Traitor

        I saw it – thanks! I’ll reply presently.

        My boss will be back in the office after his obligatory weekly WFH day, and senior management will have their weekly meeting in the morning. It’s not uncommon for a “project” for me to come out of one of those meetings.

      • UnCivilServant

        Fun

        /monotone

        At least you’ll have something to do then.

        /looking on the bright side.

      • PieInTheSky

        I was lazy the last two weak and did almost no work while everyone was away… but I ain’t taking holidays in August. Crowded and expensive in most places. I could have gone to a non holiday place like Helsinki but did not decide in time.

      • Gender Traitor

        What a wonderful epitaph! I shall have to make a pilgrimage some day.

        In the meantime, I suppose I should give the same honor to Erma Bombeck – she’s more conveniently located to me, and an earlier influence.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I wish I knew more about your state than from WKRP, Family Ties, and Drew Carey, in those orders.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s flat, full of Ohioans, and if you get off the highway at the wrong exit, you’ll be stuck behind a horse and buggy in traffic.

        /all true

      • rhywun

        Day 3 of boss out. You’d think that would mean quiet but no it’s the opposite.

      • UnCivilServant

        When my supervisor’s out, I’m in charge – which means keeping on top of everything the team is working on and making sure it’s distributed properly. That’s on top of any work I’m normally responsible for.

      • rhywun

        Yeah. Remember when the boss away meant less work?!

      • UnCivilServant

        No. At best it had no impact on my workload, most of the time, I had to cover for whoever was my supervisor at the time.

  24. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Looks like the cop that shot that lady at the capitol is going to sit for an actual interview with Lester Holt tonight:

    http://acecomments.mu.nu/?post=395350

    The balls on that fucking guy.

  25. robodruid

    Morning all.
    AC unit dies yesterday, sent out some work emails.

    • rhywun

      Ugh sorry.

      • robodruid

        Thank you, it happens.
        Many more people in so much worse trouble than me. I am blessed.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      What’s it doing/not doing? what kind of system? I can help, even online

      • Ghostpatzer

        Check the thermostat?

      • robodruid

        Fan not rotating when its supposed to be cooling.
        Checked house circuit breaker.
        It was making a transformer buzzing noise?

      • hayeksplosives

        Bad starter capacitor? If so, it will be cheap to replace.

        Not uncommon in induction motors such as your fan is likely to be.

      • robodruid

        That’s my suspicion as well
        No logic behind that.

  26. Festus

    Mornin’ Glibbies! Judi is going to an anti-vax mandate rally on Saturday (I’d also go but I’ll be drunk and might wander into traffic or or start humping legs. 10 AM on Saturday is not a good look for this fellow). She’s fighting the good fight but where they are setting up is the same spot that the pro-lifers use. It’s a greenspace at the entrance to the hospital. Local media will tar them with the same brush, I fear. Local paper’s EIC just wrote a column calling the vax hesitant “Freedumb Fighters”. It’s over, Man!

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Hey, F, et quixotic!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ed ux

      • Festus

        I’m Pablo Sanchez and poor old Rocinante has been trailered off to the glue works. We are a small enough minority of society that we are easily swept aside. I eagerly await the benevolence of our new Karen Overlords!

      • Festus

        Sancho Panza just got bounced! These edibles are making me stoopid.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Mornin’! It ain’t over ’til it’s over. You should go, protesting is best done while intoxicated.

      • Festus

        Piss bottles!

      • Ghostpatzer

        That’s why we preferred to smoke dope at the Vietnam protests. Not so messy.

      • Festus

        Lotsa free love, too. Get with times, Old man! Now it’s all about androgyny and smart black uniforms. And piss bottles.

      • Ghostpatzer

        IIRC, “free love” came with a few unwanted extras. And I am allergic to penicillin.

    • rhywun

      Things seem to be falling apart faster than I expected.

      Like someone said yesterday, I don’t think the population is going to put up with a mandatory-boosters-every-six-months regime when it becomes obvious that the “vaccines” aren’t what they promised.

      • Festus

        I fear that you are one of those “free-thinkers”. We have a special plan for the likes of you.

    • UnCivilServant

      (-_-)

      I don’t get the appeal of watching people falling down.

      • Festus

        I always get the twingies watching those things so I don’t. Anything height related makes my adrenal gland send my brain messages to ready my lower legs for impact. Must have been dropped as a baby or or more likely tossed on the floor.

      • Fourscore

        Me neither. My advice is if you are beyond a certain age (as determined only by you) the consequences can be long lasting.

    • UnCivilServant

      Clearly those are the microchips. You’d think the japanese would recognize them.

    • Festus

      Awesome! My favorite fishing spot had them. Oh the noises they would make when you waded past!

    • Ghostpatzer

      Blood money, think I’ll pass.

      • Sean

        My people were down with the Roma.

  27. Festus

    Why do I feel like a Prom date that was promised “Just the tip!” and now I’m standing at the Altar in my wedding whites, Daddy glowering from the front row?

    • Festus

      That was a shrewd marketing ploy.

  28. EvilSheldon

    Good morning one and all!

    I got back yesterday from three days out on the Trout Run Valley loop in the GW National Forest. Apparently 1.5 liters of water isn’t enough for 27 miles of overgrown singletrack in 90/90 weather, especially when half the springs along the trail are dried up, and your water filter has clogged all to hell. I bonked hard the last day, and was hurting when I dragged myself back to the truck at Wolf Gap. Fortunately, I keep emergency supplies in the truck – a gallon of water, a shower, a Wendy’s double bacon cheeseburger, and four Great Lakes Dortmunder Gold lagers had me sorted out in short order.

    Now, back to work. Much to my surprise, the office did not fall apart without me. Maybe I should make it a five-day trip next time…

    • Festus

      Great news but it’s a dead thread! Glad you made it out alive ES!