“Why do I have to go to Hanoi?” Kaylieburrow whined. “I don’t want to go to Hanoi.”
“We’ve got to get out of town,” Seresto said, pushing her up the steps of Air Force Two.
“Afghanistan!” Astarte yelled over the whipping winds of the runway, blinking against the contacts that made her irises the color of blood. “She wants to be as far from the Afghanistan fuck-up as possible.”
*****
On the flight to Singapore, Astarte crept away from the other interns as they slept and went to where Kamala sat at her desk.
“It’s a shitshow,” Astarte said, holding up her phone.
“He might be done,” Kamala said. She had become relaxed in the air, the plane constantly monitored for recording devices.
“We should get some pensive shots for social media,” Astarte said, holding up her phone.
Kamala smoothed her hair and rubbed her teeth with a napkin. “Does it all look OK?” she asked.
“Beautiful, ma’am,” Astarte said, holding her phone in position.
Kamala leaned forward to look at the window and began to compose concerned and in-control on her face.
“A little closer, ma’am, for the light,” the tall intern said.
“I like the new look,” Kamala said. Astarte compulsively ran a hand lightly over her short, grey-white hair.
“Very pale,” Kamala said. “Powerful.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” Astarte said, snapping pic after pic.
“We’ll be in Vietnam, sucking shrimp heads, while Jen and Fistula take care of the coffin-dodger,” Kamala said, a genuine grin finally on her face.
“Finnegan, ma’am,” Astarte said softly.
“I know her name,” Kamala snapped, “And I know her father, the miserable little poon hound.”
*****
“Singapore?!?” Kaylieburrow whined.
“Will you just fucking shut up?” Seresto snapped, muscles rippling under the skin of her jaw.
“Yes, we are stuck in Singapore,” Astarte said. “Go back to sleep.”
“Whhhhhhy?” Kaylieburrow asked. Astarte wondering what would happen if she just slapped her. Slapped her over and over again and then switched hands when the one got tired.
“There has been a Havana incident,” Kamala said, standing in the doorway of the intern kennel.
“I thought we were in Singapore, why are we in Cuba?” Kaylieburrow asked.
“Dear fucking God in Heaven, please shut the fuck up,” Astarte said. Kaylieburrow began dry sobbing for effect and pulled a blanket over her head.
“A Havana incident!” Kamala said. “Embassy personnel have been attacked, apparently with some new weapon, a weapon involving sound.”
“Are they sending us home?” Seresto asked, putting on her clear-lensed glasses to look serious.
“Not yet,” Kamala said. “Not until the Afghani airlift is over.”
“That could take months!” Kaylieburrow squawked from under the blanket.
Astarte kicked her leg, hard, and began to prepare an Instagram post of appropriately performative appearance.
Fistula.
Yeah, those are nasty.
Wait, Hunter is canonically Fistula’s father? This smutty lore is hard to keep up with. It makes me want to claw my eyes out knowing it’s all true. Every last word.
Finnegan Biden is Hunter’s biological daughter by his first wife, Kathleen Buhle Biden.
Oh, I thought she was Beau’s daughter legally but Hunter’s only by trist. My mistake, that makes sense now.
I’m confused. I thought her mother was a hooker Hunter killed in the 90’s.
That’s a number of the interns.
I was worried that my delicious mushroom, eggs and brisket would revisit before being digested as I began to read.
Astarte…love the moving target
“She wants to be as far from the Afghanistan fuck-up as possible.” no truer words spoken in the whole ordeal.
“Intern kennel.”
kinky.
Are they sure Kamala’s cackle isn’t the cause of the Havana Incident?
Surely those interns are immune by now?
The only immunity is a dead soul.
Isn’t that a prerequisite?
Prerequisite, or perquisite?
Yes.
Both work.
“an Instagram post of appropriately performative appearance”
Nailed it. And perfect illo.
I love you for this.
Yea, I read that and immediately thought of a weirding module.
Who would be the sandworm in the H&H Universe? Adam Shiff?
Jerry Nadler.
He was my second choice.
I refuse to believe that politician shit could EVER be the most valuable substance in the universe.
So Jeffery Epstein then?
God Emperor of Dumb.
*checks DDG*
Oh, Dune.
My name is a killing word!
Oh, HELL yes!
Need an “Astarte’s be-diamonded crescent” reference.
Missed this last week. Quite the retirement plan.
https://www.breitbart.com/asia/2021/08/16/report-ex-afghan-president-left-with-so-much-cash-it-didnt-fit-in-his-helicopter/
“The embassy alleged that Ghani attempted to smuggle so much money into his helicopter that it did not physically fit into the air frame, according to Russian news agency Tass.”
At that point are you really smuggling it?
Aren’t you just taking it?
He disguised the money as another palette of money with a sign that said “To: Iran, From: USA”.
Three Kings was a wonderful movie.
Ice Cube really took to acting quite naturally.
Indeed he did.
You mean he and his cronies don’t know about off shore numbered accounts in Grand Cayman and the like? Who uses cash today? Besides, most of the big U.S. bills floating around the world are likely to be counterfeit.
He should have used the hawala system.
There is an app for that.
In my Just World imagination, the pilot fills the entire airframe, then when Ghani asks where he will sit, the pilot gives him the old Bobby Hill (That’s my purse! I don’t know you!) treatment and takes off for a place with sympathetic kinfolk.
And these are the days of our lives…
Amazing that academics have an even worse track record than lawyers for good governance. This guy needs to be dragged out and humiliated.
You didn’t see the MENSA episode of The Simpsons?
Ok, but metric time is actually a good idea.
Shit man… I know people who don’t even grok a 24 hour clock.
Anything based on the decimal system is sub-optimal.
In a decade or two, someone needs to do a black comedy take on this whole debacle. Something along the lines of, The Death of Stalin
Sequel to “In The Loop”.
https://youtu.be/dQrqMkCuHqA
Both by Armando Iannucci, along with Veep.
Well yeah, and his original show “The Thick Of It” which is also tied to In the Loop (characters) and is essentially the model for Veep
Astarte wondering what would happen if she just slapped her. Slapped her over and over again and then switched hands when the one got tired.
We’ve all been there.
The new glibfit workout.
This was my fave line.
Wednesday is a bonus glib day, although I shouldn’t have to pay for the gifts from the Administration. SF gets them for free, pass through on the cost.
Thanks SF, as always more truth than fiction.
*chef’s kiss*
apparently I was wrong, and hte October Dune movie will NOT be the entire book.
(relatively) New addition to the Gallery of Regrettable Food.
“Meat likes to do dessert cosplay now and then”
What a nice slice of americana.
I liked this one
Perfect as always.
It’s my wedding anniversary today and we just wrote a check at the bank to pay off our mortgage. Yay!
Congrats on both counts!
Doubly congrats!
A Twofer, keep ’em both
Yup. Been married 26 years and in the house for 23.
Excellent.
Winning!
Huzzah! What’s a “check”?
Not everyone can deliver in gold and silver coins, so paper records of account had to be created.
I have paper records! It’s called a “passbook”.
*pulls out six shooters and shoots them in the sky in celebration*
Congratulations!
Once she was allowed to present as female, Ast* really butched the fuck up.
“Embassy personnel have been attacked, apparently with some new weapon, a weapon involving sound.”
I thought is was 5G radiation.
it* was…
“What’s the Frequency, Wuhan?”
Dude, 5G causes COVID, not Embassy Sickness
Get informed.
Hysteria, the answer’s hysteria.
OK, Best Avatar award goes to…
Stinky!
Twas ever thus.
Here we go. Next step will be to charge all family members on the company health plan, including children, who aren’t vaccinated.
Delta Air Lines to Impose $200 Monthly Charge on Unvaccinated Employees
https://www.wsj.com/articles/delta-air-lines-to-impose-200-monthly-surcharge-for-unvaccinated-employees-add-testing-requirements-11629902326
cover hospital stays that are more likely for unvaccinated people
Assumes facts not in evidence.
The FDA is like a magical talisman.
Tom woods is right to call it voodoo.
Curious how that will fly with no medical/religious exemptions.
And how much they’ll be paying out for adverse reactions to the vaccine.
And how much they’ll be paying out for adverse reactions to the vaccine.
Prediction: None. In part thanks to a ruling from OSHA a while back that adverse reactions from employer required Lil Rona vaccines aren’t “job related”, despite that being true for all other employer required vaccines.
This is on the health care side, not the OSHA side. So they’ll be paying for any hospitalizations regardless.
I know.
The company will do whatever it can to get out of paying for adverse affects. The OSHA ruling was the first possible thing they could use that came to my mind.
Will they start charging overweight people more too? Because over the long term, that probably leads to more medical expenses.
No, they’ll just offer up free gym memberships and cooking classes. It’s access what makes people fat, not personal decisions.
Oh weird. Ok then. I don’t know. When that CNN reporter spoke about the Taliban cheerfully chanting “death to America” I was like yeah. I feel that.
I’m only exaggerating a bit there. One place I worked has had a workforce that skewed towards overweight, diabetic, and older. The health care plan had free gym memberships (of course only for those who lived near one of the accepted chains) and the HR department set up a Healthy group that sent out recipes and the like.
Fat shaming in the work-place?
HR is fapping at their desk as we speak!
You think most HR departments are staffed by fit people?
From what I have seen, HR is likely to be . . . uniquely exposed . . . to fat-shaming.
Gotta keep the fear propaganda going.
New data from the Virginia Department of Health shows the percentage of children among patients hospitalized with COVID-19 is increasing. Experts say the shift demonstrates the urgency of youth vaccinations and the need for continued precautions in school.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has been tracking a similar trend across the South where there is an alarming spike in cases among children just as many are returning to in-person learning. Nationwide data shows a four-fold increase in the past month. …
“We went three or four weeks without seeing a single case and within a week we were seeing eight to ten,” Martin said. “I think we are going to see some form of surge and I think it will be regionally different based on vaccine rates and the steps that are taken to mitigate like mask-wearing.”
For Virginians ages 0 to 19, there have been 119,574 cumulative cases, 745 hospitalizations and 9 deaths. That’s a hospitalization rate of 0.6 percent and a death rate of 0.01 percent, according to an AAP database published on Aug. 19.
“Kids who have asthma or are immunocompromised are the kids at a greater risk that are going to get hospitalized in a greater proportion than what we have seen,” Martin said. “I feel confident that schools can comfortably reopen safely…but this needs to be taken seriously.”
It’s never going to end.
Yeah… that keeps popping up in my head as well.
So one in ten thousand that test positive dead and that’s with the probably cooked numbers. It’s a big deal for that one in ten thousand and their families but that’s a damn low risk.
They just start squawking about long Covid when you bring this up.
And point at the increased deaths in the 20-40’s cohort as uncounted ‘vid deaths.
There’s around 50MM children in the US. Around 1,000 die from drowning every year. That’s a 1 in 50,000 chance a child will die from drowning, which so far (pre-Delta variant) is about 2-3 times the chance that a child will die “with” COVID.
“Pools aren’t contagious!”
Never been in a NYC municipal pool, have you?
In recent weeks, all Delta employees who have been hospitalized with Covid-19 were unvaccinated, Mr. Bastian said.
Both of them?
Give us a number, fucko. And then as a fraction of total work force.
And define “recent”. Once your employees become vaccinated (PBUV), pretty sure you’ll still be paying for the hospitalizations, especially as the ‘vaccine’ (PBUV) effectiveness, such that it is, disappears.
Also needs to define “unvaccinated”. They may already be calling people who were vaccinated more than 6 months ago unvaccinated. If not now, it’s coming soon.
ISTR around aged 12 (80s) I was excluded from a party for NOT having had chicken pox.
Also, how much of the hospitalization decision is based on the answer to “are you vaccinated or not?” instead of actual severity?
In other words, if the admissions criteria is “OMG they’re not vaccinated, better admit them!”, then that’s one more way for the numbers to be crap.
“I thought we were in Singapore, why are we in Cuba?” Kaylieburrow asked.
Heh. Not picked for brains. Oh. That’s like saying the Sun rises in the East.
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/kathy-hochul-adds-12k-deaths-to-covid-death-count
What’s 12,000 more dead grandparents going to do? They didn’t prosecute him for the other ones! Why start now?
Canada: Home of the CanUCKS
I will do whatever you say.
Would.
+1
+2
Both you and the missus?
Sure, why not?
She gives me a funny feeling in my tummy.
Will they start charging overweight people more too? Because over the long term, that probably leads to more medical expenses.
Yes, exactly. Diabetics, too?
Are we suddenly going to return to the actual-risk-based insurance model which has been intentionally whittled away to nothing by government interference in the market?
Spoiler alert: Not bloody likely.
Only as a means to punish the unclean.
Yes, that list can expand at will, I’m sure.
Beating my…. drum. Asymmetry again. If, even by making shit up, we can pretend you cost us more by personal decisions we disagree with, we’ll punish you. If you actually do cost us more by your personal decisions, but not decisions we disagree with, mums the word.
It would be great if this breaks the forced association of health insurance with work. But, for some reason, I suspect it won’t.
Why would they ever want that bond to break? It’s basically socialized medicine with a veneer of private contracts the socialists can hide behind when convenient.
Just a little chink in the armor: Gonna need are shark cage that’s not made in China
What you did, has been seen. Lacist.
holy shit, how did that guy make it out of there in one piece? Hopefully he was the only person in the cage.
Gonna need to clean a lot of shit out a wetsuit.
Well, it would help if they locked the damn door.
https://thefederalist.com/2021/08/25/only-5-percent-of-people-evacuated-from-afghanistan-by-the-us-are-americans/
WHAT
THE
FUCK?
75k random Afghanis and 4.4k Americans. No clue how many Americans are left. Fog of war getting thicker and thicker as US media has all but completely cleared out of Kabul. We now have to rely on news sources that are provably unreliable.
The Great Reset, comrade. ///BuildBackBetter
Like they know real number.
Btw from this morning – never seen Lasik blocked by the military – know tons of folks who got it or PRK. The main thing is they won’t do it unless you’ve got xxx months left at your current duty station – or similar issues – same for some dental procedures, etc
And yeah, the flu shot is still an annual requirement for everyone including reservists.
Was reading something earlier about covid going to endemic status sooner rather than later. Accept that it’s sticking with us like cold and flu and let folks get back to normal.
Former Army Guard recruiter here. Back in 2004-05 there were certain kinds of laser eye surgery that they would not allow, even with a waiver.
I had a former Navy guy want to join the Guard to finish out his 20. He had gotten out early due to having the back of his leg blown off by his buddy in a room clearing exercise. We gathered all the info we thought we’d need for the inevitable medical waiver that was going to be required once he got to MEPS. When the day came we were surprised to find out that the doc didn’t require a waiver for his leg at all….. but it didn’t matter, because he was permanently DQ’d for having the wrong kind of Lasik while he was out.
Ok, I thought you meant military wouldn’t pay for Lasik. Yeah there are other issues like you mentioned- eye stuff for pilots is always different than for normal folks too.
Separate note – ref landlord discussion this morning. If I had the option, I’d stick with renting to military folks – always a set schedule, guaranteed payment and you can go to their unit if they try and here you around.
One of my former shipmates (still active) has bought a few houses in my area that he rents through a management company on a short term basis to officer students who come through the schoolhouse. Apparently a pretty good deal.
I don’t think you can only rent to military folk. That is the type of discrimination that is very hard to work around, at least in an area that has more than a base supporting it.
I have a rental in a college town, and it’s maintained well enough to keep rent above what a student wants to pay. Keeps things fairly neat.
Yes, price is how you signal that you want people who will take care of the property. I had this discussion about renting a house out to a new tenant–I argued that we should raise the rent significantly; the counter argument was that no one would pay that for the property in question. We listed it at the higher rent, figuring that if we didn’t have any takers within a month we would reduce it.
We had a new tenant in less than a week at the higher rent.
Conversely, buddy had a long time tenant in his rental. Multi year, stable, no issues other than they wouldn’t bother him immediately for stuff they should have. He kept the rent well below market increases (but covered all of his costs plus a bit extra) because they were that headache free. Ended up selling the place when they finally moved rather than deal with another renter.
Oh yes, stability is the best. Since we got that tenant in that house, we haven’t raised the rent at all.
Well yeah, location is a key issue – but pretty sure my buddy’s places are set up as short leases (3 or 4 mos). Also once you get a good military person and they’re in the PCS season not too hard to get a replacement in the same timeframe esp if you’re tied in with local military housing folks too.
Advertising on military-specific bulletin boards/forums/etc. would greatly boost chances of netting military tenants, along with word of mouth after a while.
We have a rental agreement with the Army to rent to recruiters in a midwestern city with no base within 50 miles.
Rents are going up here, quite sharply, but there are also 4x as many rentals available as there were several months ago. Those are staying on Zillow upwards of 2-3 months before they are rented.
I’m not really sure what to make of it. High rent, but many properties, not renting for 2-3 months. I don’t know what that says.
The market hasn’t had time to shake out. The feeding frenzy in houses ended pretty abruptly, but prices are still nutzo, even though houses are now sitting a lot longer.
Stupid people, but https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2021-08-24/students-from-cajon-valley-school-district-stranded-in-afghanistan
Reading between the lines, they were probably back home visiting family.
Which further calls into question the visa program for those who worked for us and whether they legitimately feared for their or families’ lives or it was an easy ticket to bypass immigration bureaucracy (not necessarily wrong either)
Also going on vacation back in Afghanistan but still sucking up refugee support services here.
Damn your nimble fingers! That sounds about right, but is it possible to write a straightforward news article which does not require mad translation skills?
The ex-translators are stuck in Afghanistan.
I am confused.
Okay…
So they are refugees? Or only three of the (how many? 24 kids, 16 parents, anywhere from 8 to 16?) families are refugees? I need more coffee.
Maybe I’m weird, but I find it odd that the concern is losing a seat in the classroom and not losing one’s life.
Good catch and no not weird…
Vacationing in the place you are a refugee from?
That’s…
Maybe they’re not actually refugees?
Impossible I was just told there are no Americans stranded by Strawberry
London family travel to Kabul for wedding, get stranded…
https://news.sky.com/story/afghanistan-british-family-tells-of-nightmare-stuck-in-kabul-as-gun-put-to-mans-head-in-car-theft-12384004
“The wedding, on 8 August, was attended by 11 British nationals, including two children aged two and eight. There are also two newlywed brides with visas to remain in the UK.”
Two brides? Maybe get married in Ibiza.
For trshmnstr, state bottle deposit programs were set up to combat roadside litter (which largely ended due to changes in cultural non acceptance than laws), and have since morphed to become recycling driven.
? ? ??
At least in Cali, we could crush our cans and wiegh them, not in Michigan, you have to keep them pristine or the machine won’t take them. So people end up with piles of recyclables in Trash bags, fucking Stupid!
*flashbacks to monthly haul of step-families insane soda habit to the recycler to buy more soda*
They’ve expanded it here to bottled water and pretty much every liquid except milk, liquor, and wine. And set up Soviet style can centers so retailers no longer have to put up with it. And doubled the fee.
Ya know, if you wanted to end the homeless problem…
Bottle returns are essential services because the bums depend on them for cash.
I helped, as in was volunteered to do that yesterday, my van was packed, and of course I had to help out….
Recall collecting cans when I was in Malaysia in the early 90s – think we’d get 0.05 (local) per can – so it added up pretty quick.
Tom Wood’s latest email is rage inducing.
Coming for your kids
Sigh. My sister just brought that up. Doesn’t want my daughter at a family event because she is nine, doesn’t have a vaccine. She still wanted me there. I decided I would just not go and will spend the day with my daughter instead.
We’re dealing with somewhat similar issues as my wife’s sisters have both had babies in the past couple weeks. The “covid requirements” have come out for one of them and have included presenting a negative test before seeing the baby. The other one we won’t see any time soon because they’re in Tokyo.
It’s gonna end in tears and excommunication. Wife’s mom and sisters are very much in the “fuck you unvaxxers” camp and aren’t quiet about it. We’re just trying to keep quiet until we can’t anymore. We won’t lie to them, so it’ll eventually come out that we’re not vaxxed and don’t plan to be. Then the battle lines will be drawn.
Wait until they start to get the ‘vid, despite their noble sacrifices for the greater good.
People be dumb.
They’ll blame the dirty unclean Jews…. errr…. unvaxxed.
They have to. To look inward and realize that they are truly on their own and that the experts who told them to do this were fucking them hard.
Too painful, so the mind reverts to the simple binary: vax good, unvax bad.
“…and aren’t quiet about it.”
They rarely are.
Correct decision. Sorry you had to make it.
Seconded.
They’ve done a he’ll of a job busting up families.
The good news is that families and communities are starting to realign around shared values again. The bad news is that it didn’t happen nearly soon enough and most people haven’t learned the lesson about sending your kids to some bureaucrat to be indoctrinated.
Sorry to hear that. At least you get to spend the day with a grownup.
Sorry. Sick kids were once comingled intentionally.
LOL, Florida man.
Needs a plastic bag as an inner liner.
A general beg from the Glibs: anybody know what the font is that’s used in the 1975 Joy of Cooking? (It’s the same font mentioned above in Lilek’s “Gallery of Regrettable Food” Betty Crocker links, as follows:
http://lileks.com/institute/gallery/menucards/01seasonal/2.html )