Mocktails – Drinks for Those who Don’t Drink

by | Aug 13, 2021 | Cocktails, Food & Drink, LifeSkills, Recipes | 175 comments

For a variety of reasons (health, religious, fitness, and probably some others) some people don’t want to consume alcohol (or are looking to consume less of it).  It was requested that I put together an article talking about Mocktails.  So, rather than just putting together a blurb that said replace any clear spirit with ginger ale, and slapping it up.  I went through a couple of tests, and have returned with some items you can make to feel like a part of cocktail culture even when there’s no alcohol involved.  Keep in mind, if you’re dropping alcohol for calorie concerns, these won’t be much help as they’ll still have sugar and fruit juices in them.

The basis for these drinks is called a shrub (or drinking vinegar).  These were used as a way to preserve fruits from the end of harvest, when you didn’t have enough to make into preserves or ferment.  There’s two methods to making them, both will require three ingredients in approximately equal measure:

  • Fruit
  • Vinegar
  • Sugar

I’ll start with the cold method, as it’s the easiest.  Start by taking a clean container, putting in your fruit and gently muddling it (or freezing it first, which will also break down the cell walls).  Then pour in the vinegar, put on a lid, and give it a gentle shake.  Let that infuse for about a week at room temperature, shaking it once a day or so.  Then you’ll strain out the berries, add in the sugar (or infused simple syrup), and stir/shake to mix it up.  Let it sit for another week or so, and then put it in the fridge.

For the hot method, put the vinegar into a pan, and bring up to just below a simmer.  Add in the sugar, and stir until dissolved.  Then add in your fruit, and let it cool.  Then let it sit for a week, strain out the fruit, and chill it.

When you’re making these, I would suggest staying away from just basic white vinegar, and going with something that will also add some flavor.  Two basic flavor profiles I worked with were:

Berry shrub with equal parts of each:

  • Berries
  • Red Wine Vinegar
  • White sugar

Watermelon shrub with two parts of watermelon to the other ingredients (watermelon isn’t known for its overpowering flavor):

  • Watermelon puree
  • Apple Cider Vinegar
  • Agave syrup

Now to drink these, you could try drinking it straight but I wouldn’t recommend it as it’ll be quite syrupy.  Instead add some of the chilled shrub to a glass, and top with water (flavored sparkling water can work a treat here).  Now if you were so inclined, you could also add a splash of a white liquor to the drink as well, but it isn’t necessary (or you know… ginger ale).

I would also recommend to stay away from using anything too acidic for the fruit category (no citrus), as the vinegar will be providing the acidic side.  You can also go with herbs or spices as well, but you’ll need to adjust the vinegar and sugar ratio to taste.

About The Author

Nephilium

Nephilium

Nephilium is a geek of multiple types living in the vast suburban forests of Cleveland.

175 Comments

  1. R.J.

    Having bourbon. Sounds good though.

  2. The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

    Drinkin’ prosecco on a Friday night. The SU’s busy doing hobby-type stuff (great seamstress, working on a set of curtains for a friend who’s kinda short of cash), slamming the ‘secco ‘twixt sewing spurts. Should be interesting.

    • limey

      Bye bye fingers!

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        Nah. Muscle memory alone will get her through. Can’t guarantee the straightness of the resulting hem, though . . .

      • MikeS

        I never thought I would ever link this.

      • Chafed

        What happened? I used to know you, man.

      • MikeS

        I saw all the “bye bye” and ghat poison jumped immediately to mind. Almost like an exorcism or something.

        “OUT Timberlake devil. OUT!!!”

      • MikeS

        Ozzmosis was today’s listen. What a fucking great album. Still think track 12 is the best…and there’s is some serious competition on that album.

      • Chafed

        Oh thank doG. *waves Star of David at MikeS* You have come to your senses.

      • Chafed

        It is a vastly underrated album. I have no idea why Ozzy runs/has run hot and cold with Zakk Wylde but that’s his schtick. It’s a shame he didn’t hang on to the guitarist on that album. I really liked his work.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Aw, Ted, help.

      • Chafed

        None of you linked The Cars? You are all infidels.

    • Ted S.

      working on a set of curtains for a friend who’s kinda short of cash

      Turning the curtains into a gown?

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        Wrong direction.

  3. Mojeaux

    Thank you, Neph!!!

  4. limey

    I’ve asked this before, but one aisle in the supermarket has agave nectar, while the drinks aisle has agave syrup. Assumably a feller can make the syrup from the nectar to a concentration of xis choosing?

    • Nephilium

      I’d have to look up the difference, it may just be a translation thing between ‘merican English and Brit English. Agave syrup here is basically agave and water to a syrup consistency.

      • Nephilium

        And some searching shows that it’s an interchangeable term most of the time with nectar always supposed to be pure, but syrup can be modified with fructose and the like.

  5. Spudalicious

    And you can easily add booze to it.

    • rhywun

      ^ This persyn gets it

    • Nephilium

      Now if you were so inclined, you could also add a splash of a white liquor to the drink as well, but it isn’t necessary

      Really?

      • Ted S.

        I guess we know who doesn’t read the articles.

      • Nephilium

        Most of the posters and article writers?

      • Spudalicious

        I read the fucking recipes, Neph. Did you expect me to read the whole article?

      • Ted S.

        He probably expected the Spanish Inquisition too.

      • Nephilium

        Nah… you’re one of us. That’s why I have to mock it.

  6. SP

    Thanks, Neph!

    • Fourscore

      Hi SP

      Are you in your new digs now? The weather contrast must be great!

  7. Yusef drives a Kia

    I’ll hang back for a While, Howdy SP!

  8. kinnath

    Back from spending four nights in Fourscore’s little cabin in the woods.

    I highly recommend the experience.

    • creech

      Did Steve Smith drop by for conversation?

    • Fourscore

      I didn’t hear any shooting though.

      • kinnath

        250 rounds through at Ruger PC9 (9 mm carbine). Probably not loud enough for you to hear at your place.

      • Fourscore

        Yeah, with the windows closed we don’t hear much. I forgot to offer you a couple baby apple trees. I’ll transplant them outside in a day or two.

      • Ted S.

        Is that like offering people zucchinis?

      • Fourscore

        I didn’t have a garden this year, Kinnath didn’t have to lock his car doors.

      • kinnath

        I have run out of room for apple trees. At least until I clear some more of my property.

  9. Fourscore

    Back in the day my favorite morning drink was half and half OJ and 7UP. Kind of quieted my stomach down so I could eat some breakfast. Glad those days are over though.

    • robc

      If you do it with pulpy OJ and pour the 7 up last, the carbonation brings all the pulp to the top in a cool skin.

      • Fourscore

        I can’t remember, my hand was always shaking so bad probably took the carbonation out of the 7 UP anyway.

    • rhywun

      That sounds delicious and refreshing, to be honest.

    • Drake

      They are certainly right – the Republican party is dead.

  10. robc

    Midway. Flight delayed from here to Denver, just 37 mins, so not horrible.

    • Nephilium

      But you’re in Midway. And they shut down alcohol sales damned early.

      /avoids uploading pictures of me and two other stranded travelers.

  11. blackjack

    Just met a friend at the Pineapple Hill. The bar that led the lockdown protest last year. Didn’t wear a mask, no hassles whatsoever. Talked to the lady that was all over the news and told her about the needle mandates. I told her the one about about everybody knowing what they would have done in 1930’s Germany now and she laughed. It was cool. She still has her outdoor dining tent up, but we sat inside.

    • commodious spittoon

      She still has her outdoor dining tent up, but we sat inside.

      Something something euphemisms?

      • blackjack

        Yeah, the outdoor dining area was central to the whole story. They forced her to build it, so she did. Then, when it was done they closed even that. The day they closed it, she went to the shuttered bar to get some stuff for a protest against it and there was a similar tent right next to it, serving craft services to a film crew. The fucking day they shut her down. Story here. But, yeah, still a euphemism.

    • Lackadaisical

      I remember her.

      everybody knowing what they would have done in 1930’s Germany

      Based on Antifa? Definitely joined the SA or not done anything about the SA.

      • blackjack

        Yeah. These people are exactly emulating the nazis. Checking papers and ruining the lives of those they disapprove of. We actually have undercover narcs checking for compliance. It was so nice to go to a bar without a mask on and just drink a beer with my friend. That shit has been illegal for a year and a half out here. Now, for purely political reasons, they are trying to force me to get the shot. A medical experiment just to boost the stature of Joe fucking Biden. And they’re seemingly winning. How it’s not obvious to even the lefties, I’ll never know.

      • Lackadaisical

        How it’s not obvious to even the lefties, I’ll never know.

        It is in the service of the greater good.

        How the holocaust/WW2 is taught is totally fucked because they prefer to portray the Nazis (who wanted to fundamentally transform society) as if they were conservative. That results in most people not actually learning any useful lessons from it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That and portraying them as abnormally evil bogeymen and one offs unprecedented in history, rather than far too common.

      • Lackadaisical

        Yup. They represent a very ‘normal’ (if wrong) part of human societies from the past, and likely future.

      • Akira

        they prefer to portray the Nazis (who wanted to fundamentally transform society) as if they were conservative.

        This ^^^

        I have a copy of Mein Kampf that I read (about 2/3 of the way) for historical interest. If you swap out “Jews” with “one percent”, much of it would fit right in with a Bernie Sanders speech. He rants about how poverty is a sort of self-perpetuating condition, and it’s not really the fault of the poor people besides; they’re only in that situation because this tiny group of ultra-rich are fucking it up for everyone else, and the goal of the economy should be to provide good jobs and education for citizens, not pointless wealth-hoarding, blah blah blah.

        Aside from the, uh, Nazism, it’s a terrible book. There’s no logical flow of topics at all.

      • Gustave Lytton

        So you’re saying…?… it was a struggle?

  12. Lackadaisical

    Got some cheap beer for day drinking, just doing some uh, quality checks tonight.

    • Hyperion

      Me2

      Went to get some Sapporo.

      We don’t have no Sapporo.

      Wut?

      Yuengling? Umm, gross.

      Heineken? Umm, no bottles please.

      Coors Banquet? Umm, ok.

      • Lackadaisical

        Molson here, kind of missing Sopporo now. That was one of my gotos about 10 years ago when I was a serious drinker.

      • rhywun

        Ah, Molson. The king of Buffalo nightlife beers.

      • Lackadaisical

        Perfect to chase down some Crown.

        And what does that make Labatts? The slightly retarded prince?

      • rhywun

        Labatt’s is the high-falutin’ alternative when they’re out of Rolling Rock.

      • Nephilium

        /sends Buffalo Little Kings

      • MikeS

        Genesee or get out.

      • rhywun

        Never saw it in Buffalo.

        Perhaps my FIL in Rochester drank all of it.

      • MikeS

        If I can buy it in Grand Forks, North Dakota…

        Wait, your FIL?

      • Chafed

        I had the same question.

  13. Ozymandias

    Just subbed in for my first hockey game in a few months. Wonderful for my sanity – tough on the inside of my left thigh, though. Friendly fire – one of our defenseman trying to shot a puck in the offensive zone shot it off of the inside and back of my leg, just above the knee and slightly to the inside. Holy shit, I forgot about how that vulcanized rubber can feel off the soft fleshy spots.
    Be of good cheer, Glibs! Life has Bliss even as the lunatics run roughshod. We have Joy and Forgiveness and Love; they are a dour, miserable, grasping people, hearts filled with anger and self-righteousness.

    • Chafed

      I think Geraldo and plastic surgery are well acquainted.

    • Lackadaisical

      Lotta butter on them faces.

    • commodious spittoon

      Big breasted whore

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Hail again, cuspidor!

      • MikeS

        Band or album name?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        mud flaps?

      • Plinker762

        my girl’s got ’em

      • MikeS

        How could I leave this behind?

      • Chafed

        Time to put down the bottle.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Natural, eh?

      “SanDeE*, your breasts feel weird.”

      “Oh, that’s cuz they’re real.”

  14. PudPaisley

    I’ll take a vodka cranberry with a splash of pineapple juice. Hold the vodka.

    Got a nice warm glow going, but starting to get sleepy? Here’s a nice little bedtime number.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhedKAhHqK8

  15. MikeS

    For a variety of reasons (health, religious, fitness, and probably some others) some people don’t want to consume alcohol

    I am second guessing my return to this place.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Come back, Ralphie, come back! I will keep any apostosies to myself.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        apostasies

  16. MikeS

    So, I’ve been throwing around an idea in my head for a “column” here. I mentioned last night that I’ve been revisiting albums I listened to in my youth. I have an idea of a weekly series where I pick an album, basically review it 30-ish years later, and while doing so throw in some -extremely enjoyable- commentary about life at that time. Be it personal or more just a general recounting of how things were. So, part music review (30 years after the fact) and part commentary on life in the mid-late 80’s and early 90’s.

    Does that sound stupid, interesting, or both?

    • Gender Traitor

      Interesting! Do it! ??

      • Chafed

        You are up late GT. Hanging out at Tranquility Base?

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      ?

    • Brochettaward

      I would First on that post.

      • MikeS

        Good and hard.

      • Chafed

        Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

    • Chafed

      Just write it. Most of it will be interesting. Occasionally something will fall flat. Everyone will have a new reason to comment on whatever they want.

      • MikeS

        Kind of what I was thinking. And for those that don’t give any shits…it’s an excuse for snarking.

        I don’t know..there’s decent chance this won’t happen. But re-listening to the albums front-to-back years later has made me think of things that I think some others here may find mildly interesting.

      • KSuellington

        Your insightful commentary and anecdotes on the era and it’s rocking albums will be fun to read.
        I’ve also been on an album kick recently. It’s nice to listen to an album in entirety. I know you are more of a rock guy, but if you want to ever listen to something more in a jazz direction I’d recommend the Jack Johnson album by Miles Davis. It rocks hard.

    • KSuellington

      I’d be interested in such a series. Mostly because I have a deep love for the 70’s and 80’s rock and metal that Mike may feature. Rock on. My vote for top AC/DC albums are Powerage, Highway, and Back in Black. Honorable mention for concert album, If You Want Blood…

      • MikeS

        *tingle runs up leg*

  17. commodious spittoon

    I had such an ingenious thought like Fenchurch, but it went nowhere. My god it goes nowhere. There’s nowhere to go.

  18. Chafed

    Eddie Trunk is playing all 12 minutes of Rush’s Xanadu. MikeS is curled in the fetal position, sucking his thumb.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Could be worse. Could be ELO’s Xanadu.

      • Chafed

        Or the earth shatteringly bad movie.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You take that back

  19. Chafed

    Good article Neph. I’m going to hit you up for advice in a couple of years when daughter 2 graduates high school and I need to have a cool-but-in-control party for her.

  20. Festus

    Oh dear. They just mandated jabs at Judi’s work. Mine will come down the pipeline in a week or two. We both work government-adjacent jobs. Either we win this battle or we live in a cardboard box. Festus the cat is getting kinda old, anyway and Peanut will be one hell of a ratter…

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Wish I had something more encouraging to say to you, lad

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Wish I had something more encouraging to say to you, lad. Wir lieben dich!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        besides Scheisse anyway

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        We love youse (sorry, German verb wheel I sent off for hasn’t arrived yet)

      • Festus

        We make our stand or else all is lost. I never thought that my principles would be so tested but here we are. I am known to be one stubborn fuck!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        !

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ??

    • Chafed

      Sorry Festus. Every time I read about Canada the Covid it is some new totalitarian rule. FWIW, I chose to get The Jab (J&J for what it’s worth) and lived to tell the tale.

      • Festus

        It’s a short step from compelling thought to throwing a brick through a neighbor’s window that looks a little different than you. I will not comply.

    • KSuellington

      Here they are going to make you show your papers before going into a restaurant or bar. I got the damn thing and I don’t want to patronize anywhere that asks for the proof. Let’s see how long I can hold out. The worst part is how it becomes normalized.

  21. Festus

    They are compelling us to obey. Aside from my dalliance with soft crime I have never seen the like. Judi says that she won’t comply and knowing her pro-life stance, I believe her. When they come for me I’ll tell them to go pound sand. I don’t recognize this society we are living in anymore. Time to join a Civil suit.

    • Festus

      Or a cult.

      • Chafed

        A cult sounds like more fun.

      • Festus

        Might be some Manson girls.

      • Chafed

        I didn’t say it wasn’t dangerous.

      • Festus

        Did I say it was a bad thing?

      • Not Adahn

        Shirley Manson is not a bad thing.

    • hayeksplosives

      If you can hold out long enough, it might not make a difference soon; in various California businesses that had opened up and changed signs to say that only the unvaccinated needed masks (and it was on the honor system), they have put up new signs saying everyone has to mask up. Again.

      I assume WFH and lockdowns will soon follow; that way they can blame Biden & the Left’s inflation / malaise on the COVID Delta strain.

      • Gustave Lytton

        They’re talking out of both sides of their mouth. Everyone must be vaccinated and vaccination doesn’t matter as far as anything else.

  22. robc

    On the ground in Denver. Make the hour trek north tomorrow.

    It has been 9 weeks sine I left South Carolina.

    • Festus

      You’ve got the makings for a great Country song, robc.

  23. Festus

    Ya know, it really has nothing to do with the efficacy of the vaccine. It’s more about the lies and subterfuge that have occurred since 2001. Why the fuck would I trust any “expert” when they are a bought and paid for shill for TPTB? Fuck that noise!

    • Akira

      Why the fuck would I trust any “expert” when they are a bought and paid for shill for TPTB?

      There is that issue. I like to ask people, “In the late 30s in Germany, the vast majority of scientists would tell you that Jews are objectively an inferior race and require some kind of solution. Would you have agreed with that?”

      But probably my biggest gripe is with this idea that we cannot ever question experts because they know their stuff and we don’t. The “follow the science” mindset is fucking dangerous. If practiced universally, it would lead to a total freeze in scientific knowledge.

      Think about how many times the whole scientific community believed something that was later proven false. These things can be held as objective facts for millennia before being disproven, like humorism in medicine. Scientists even exhibit groupthink and ideological conformity, as they did in the case of Dr. Ignaz Semmelweis.

      Humorism was discarded and handwashing became standard practice because somebody questioned a scientific consensus. If that’s not allowed, how is knowledge ever supposed to move forward? “Follow the science” would stop progress dead in its tracks. It’s a terrible phrase that needs to fucking go.

      • Suthenboy

        They can follow the science all they like, I prefer to practice it.
        Without fail when I start getting into the details with ‘follow the science’ people I get blank looks. They trust ‘experts’ because they dont know any better themselves. It is pitiful really.

  24. Festus

    Sorry for being Debbie Downer. Here’s my favorite song from a band I’m frankly a little sick of https://youtu.be/gqQelCIGYMI

    • Suthenboy

      heh. Somewhere around here I have all of Zepplin on vinyl. I ate that up when I was a kid but one day, like you, I just wore out on it.

  25. hayeksplosives

    Excellent timing. I was on the wagon from Feb 2020 until my husband’s medical woes this spring.

    Just three days ago we both decided to quit alkie-haul together and purged it from the house.

    This will be fun to experiment with.

    Thanks, Neph!

    • Brochettaward

      You are missing the lede. Global warming is causing covid!

  26. UnCivilServant

    Morning, Glibs.

    Apparently I zonked out after getting home from work yesterday and woke up at 430am.

    I didn’t even turn the lights off.

    • Tres Cool

      I just got home from work.

      yo whats goody, fam ?

      • UnCivilServant

        Not much. I went to the grocery store. Getting ready for the day. Nothing on the schedule.

      • Sean

        That’s too early for me to go shopping.

        They back to requiring masks there?

  27. Ghostpatzer

    Wow, awfully quiet around here. Even glibs need sleep, I guess. Except Pie, maybe.

    Anyhow, thanks Neph, wherever you be. Now I have something to do with the wild blackcherries I’ve been harvesting. Should be fun pretending to drink on the Zooms.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Mornin’! Music to get the blood going, nice.

      • Sean

        I’m waiting for the haters telling me old Aerosmith is better.

    • Ted S.

      Another covid death.

    • Not Adahn

      My favorite bit with the How Ridiculous guys was them knocking basketballs into goals with their framed Guinness World Records

    • Ghostpatzer

      Why not? Great act for a reboot of the Ed Sullivan show. Granted, 3 hours 35 minutes would be a bit much.

    • rhywun

      +15 minutes of “fame”

    • Not Adahn

      D events cause 10+% of attendees to coof up?

    • Ghostpatzer

      Talk about a shitty party. COVID was only the second worst thing the attendees got, they had to listen to Obama sing his own praises all night.

    • Suthenboy

      But but but they are sophisticated!

  28. Not Adahn

    No masks at the diner, even though Saratoga County is a plague zone.

    • UnCivilServant

      I think the general public has given up on the panic

      • Sean

        Do raccoons get diabetes? Those are some pudgy lil guys.

        My mom was feeding bagels to deer, but they were getting too friendly and she decided to stop.

      • limey

        Do wild animals live long enough to get diabeetus? I suppose it depends on individual circumstances. If a raccoon spends it’s life eating stale bagels and rolls, and cake from a bakery dumpster does it eat itself to an early grave via the beetus?

    • Sean

      He better quarantine when he returns. 🙄

  29. limey

    Does Trump qualify for this or is there a very specifically worded exception that means bad orange man doesn’t get it? It seems like a huge waste of money giving SS protection to former presidents. Also, please cancel the lifetime salary.