Revelation Rewrites, part 1.
Note to Readers: The following will contain spoilers and critiques of the first episode of Masters of the Universe: Revelation. So, so many spoilers. I mean oodles of spoilers, okay? And a fair amount of snark. If you don’t like spoilers, just breeze on down to the comments. I won’t mind. Beware the spoilers on the way though. If you don’t like snark, what are you even doing here??
– – – – –
Episode 1: The Power of Grayskull
INTRODUCTION: The scene opens to show the planet Eternia, with criss-crossing double rings and two moons orbiting super close to the planet but not affecting the rings at all. Take that, planetary physics!
NARRA-TOR: “The planet Eternia is at the center of the universe, and on that planet is Castle Grayskull, a repository of great power! That power is sought after by the Lord of Snake Mountain, the demon Skeletor, and his horde of evil minions, chief of which is Evil-Lyn — Lyn, sweetie, for this shot why don’t you lay down on your side in front of Skeletor on his throne, and bend one leg up to show off a little thigh for the camera. I’m looking for a bit of a slave-Leia vibe here, honey. That’s good, just great, you’re gorgeous!”
NARRA-TOR: “Moving on, Skeletor really, really wants the Power of Grayskull, and the only person who can stop him is … Prince Adam! Except not really Prince Adam, since he’s pretty much a wimp and needs to turn into He-Man, the Most Powerful Man In the Universe instead. Why did I say Prince Adam then? Shut up, that’s why.”
NARRA-TOR: “Only four other people know the whole Prince Adam/He-Man thing: A soldier, a sorceress, a court jester, and He-Man’s mount so he’d have to know, right? They also have a bunch of ignorant heroes on their side, too, all trying to keep Skeletor from getting into Castle Grayskull. Because if you capture the Grayskull flag, you get to have “Master of the Universe” as your official title. Don’t look at me like that; I don’t make the rules.”
– – – – –
SCENE: An exterior shot of Castle Grayskull looming silently over a barren landscape. A large figure obscured in an even larger cloak appears, riding a robotic horse that fans will recognize as Stridor, an invention of the heroic Man-At-Arms. Not a very practical vehicle when you have tanks and flying machines and a gigantic intelligent tiger to ride on, but Adam and Teela wanted a pony as kids, and do you know how much ponies eat? Stridor probably got armored up after they outgrew him. Whatever.
Stridor begins walking towards Castle Grayskull, revealing two bound figures on foot behind him, both known by fans as henchmen of Skeletor’s: Clawful, a monstrous crustaceanoid warrior; and Spikor, Evil Master of thumbtacks and porcupines or something. They have little choice but to follow the mysterious rider, who looks to one side as some multicolored lights illuminate the distant horizon.
– – – – –
SCENE: The Royal Palace of Eternia, above which a display of fireworks light up the night sky in dazzling colors. A celebration of some sort is happening. King Randor and Queen Marlena, goodly rulers of the Kingdom of Eternos, make idle conversation, which segues into meeting some of the familiar heroes of the setting. Man-At-Arms reassures Cringer, who is hiding from the fireworks, that all is well.
MAN-AT-ARMS: “Take it from someone who has seen battle, cat.” (actual line)
KEVIN SMITH: “Tee hee, I’m so clever!”
FANS: “OFFS!”
Teela arrives on scene, and it is revealed that she is to be granted the official title of Man At Arms this evening. The current Man-At-Arms beams with pride. Orko appears as well, and the conversation clumsily moves to them noting that Prince Adam has not arrived. Where could he be??
– – – – –
SCENE: The desolate region just outside of Castle Grayskull. The mysterious rider has dismounted and flings his cloak off DRAMATICALLY to reveal He-Man! The Jaw-Bridge of Grayskull opens (yes, that’s what it’s called), and a falcon flies into the scene! It dives towards the open Jaw-Bridge and, just before striking it, the falcon transforms into the Sorceress of Grayskull! She coolly notes that the Forces of Evil seem to take no holidays.
Spikor sneers back that the Sorceress didn’t even realize he was actually SKELETOR IN DISGUISE! His false form melts away, revealing a familiar skull-headed figure!
SKELETOR: “Mua ha ha Ha! It is I, the Lord of Gloating Long Enough To Let The Heroes Get In the First Shot, SkeletOOF!”
Skeletor is blasted backwards into the dirt by a bolt of arcane energy from the Sorceress.
SORCERESS: “Please, Skeletor. I knew it was you the whole time. I mean, I did wait until you dropped your illusion to tell you that I knew it was you all along, and I did open the Jaw-Bridge to the Castle for you, but that was only to fool you into thinking that you had fooled me, see? That’s it, yeah. So I’m far more clever than you are. You may have mind-controlled He-Man here or something, but I feel quite confident moving forward such that He-Man is now behind me. Gosh I’m clever.”
– – – – –
SCENE: Back at the royal palace. A fanfare is being played on the trumpets, which of course frightens Cringer. Orko casts a spell on Cringer that is supposed to help but has Unexpected Consequences. Orko tries to save the cowardly tiger but instead makes the spell worse! He then desperately asks if anyone has the power to help. Then…
PRINCE ADAM: “I have the power.” (actual line)
Kevin Smith: “Tee Hee Hee!”
FANS: “OFFS!”
Adam rescues Cringer from the spell and the party can continue. But wait, Adam’s at the Palace? Then who’s at Castle Grayskull?
– – – – –
SCENE: Back at the gates of Grayskull. He-Man smiles evilly and grabs the Sorceress from behind!
SORCERESS: What the Fu-?!”
– – – – –
SCENE: Back at the Palace — you dizzy yet? Prince Adam is hugging Teela from behind, laughing. Teela reverses his hold and puts him into an arm bar for some reason, foiling his treacherous … hug? Did I mention he’s royalty and she’s a soldier in his father’s service? Adam says “aunt” and Teela lets him go.
The party moves indoors, and Adam and Teela have a conversation about how great she is. Teela mentions how she knows everything about battle, the Palace, and Castle Grayskull, and Adam reminds her that she doesn’t know who “He” really is, basically revealing that He-Man has a secret identity and isn’t just a powerful hero who shows up when needed. Moron.
– – – – –
SCENE: Back at Grayskull, now inside the Castle itself. Skeletor gloats that the Sorceress was totally fooled by his latest deception: A He-Man doppleganger robot named Faker!
FANS: “Oh yeah, I remember him.”
The Sorceress summons such power as to blast Faker’s arms off, thus escaping his clutches. Faker silently extends mechanical tendrils from the stumps of each arm, which reach out to each of his forelimbs and retrieves them. The arms fuse back into their proper place. Skeletor further gloats that he has another powerful ally with him who is also in disguise. The form of Clawful melts away, revealing the sinister witch, Evil-Lyn!
EVIL-LYN: “I’m not Clawful, but I can be awful!” (actual line) She fires an eldritch blast from her staff at the Sorceress!
SKELETOR: “… You know what was awful, Lyn? That line just now! Sweet merciful Hordak, I told you about this mission two days ago! You chose to cosplay as Clawful and you couldn’t think of a better line than that?”
EVIL-LYN: “Well I’d like to see you come up with a clever rhyme for ‘Clawful’!”
SKELETOR: “Okay, fine. Hm, I’m not Clawful… but I want some falafel! There. You’re welcome.”
EVIL-LYN: “Oh, that’s real intimidating! Remind me to use that one if we ever attack a food truck!”
SKELETOR: “Being intimidating wasn’t stipulated in your challenge. Skeletor wins. Anyhow, the point is, do we really need corny rhymes anymore? Our target audience is middle-aged now. They’ll be forcing their kids to watch instead of the other way around. You didn’t see me making some silly rhyme when I revealed myself, did you?”
EVIL-LYN: “No, I saw you take a magic money-shot instead. Evil-Lyn wins.”
SKELETOR: “HEY!”
SORCERESS: “I’m sorry, is there an attack happening any time soon?”
SKELETOR: “Oh, right.”
A titanic battle commences, as Skeletor, Evil-Lyn, and Faker are inside the castle, while an army of sinister looking soldiers has massed outside of the castle, led by more of Skeletor’s evil henchmen in various vehicles from the Snake Mountain motor pool, each of which are familiar to He-Man toy collectors. The Sorceress summons some mystical castle defenses, but she is one and they are legion! From inside the Castle, Skeletor taunts the Sorceress, and invites her to summon her champion. Why would Skeletor want her to call for help though??
– – – – –
SCENE: The Palace again. The ceremony is about to begin. Teela walks down the grand chamber towards the King. Man-at-Arms is about to kerplode with pride!
RANDOR: “You know, Adam, it would be great if I too were able to feel fatherly pride about my offspring someday. I should introduce you to He-Man. Or I would if you were ever around when he is, harrumph!”
Prince Adam takes the abuse glumly. By now Teela has arrived at the steps to the dais upon which the royal family stands. She sinks to her knees. Randor steps forward holding a sheathed sword. Adam smiles at Teela, then suddenly looks to have been struck with a migraine, which Teela sees. The Sorceress has telepathically alerted him that Grayskull is under attack!
RANDOR: “I hereby dub you Man At Arms.”
That’s it. One brief sentence. No speech about how deserving Teela is of this honor, nothing about the hard work she put in and dedication and loyalty she has demonstrated. That’s Silent Ran for you, I guess. Adam steps down to Man-at-Arms (the older one) and whispers the Sorceress’ message to him. Duncan (Man-At-Arms’s given name) steps forward and announces to the palace guard that Grayskull needs defending! Nobody questions this outburst; Duncan is getting old, and old soldiers have been known to have PTSD and dementia. Best to humor him rather than cause a scene. Duncan looks at Teela and suggests that she lead them into battle. Teela draws the sword offered by Randor and holds it aloft.
TEELA: “For Eternia!” (actual line)
This is a curious remark, since Eternia is a planet and Grayskull is just a castle somewhere on said planet, so they’re not synonymous terms at all. It might have made more sense for her to hold the sword high and say something like “For the honor of Grayskull!”
KEVIN SMITH: “Genius!”
SHE-RA: “OFFS!”
Anyhow, the gathered soldiers respond with a valiant roar. King Randor urges the civilians to follow their King and Queen to safety, even though Grayskull isn’t exactly next door. He’s probably still humoring Duncan. The King assigns Adam to crowd control, who basically ushers people through a set of double doors further into the Palace. Soon it is only Adam, Orko, and Cringer left in the room. Queen Marlena looks back over her shoulder as Adam closes the doors to the audience chamber instead of following the civilians.
MARLENA: “Be careful, Adam.”
OH SHIT SHE KNOWS ADAM’S SECRET!!! Well, that’s Mother’s Intuition for you, kids. Don’t bother keeping any secrets from your mother, especially if they involve removing most of your clothing and going out in public.
Adam tells Orko to go on ahead to Castle Grayskull and see if he can help, and he manages to say it without laughing. Cringer asks to take a sick day, but Adam smiles and declines his request. Adam draws the Sword of Power and raises it over his head.
ADAM: “By the Power of Grayskull.”
Hm. Adam says it more as if he’s asking for a cup of coffee instead of all the power in the freaking universe. I guess volume doesn’t matter when you know the words and have the Sword, but still, man. Pretty casual ritualistic intonation if you ask me.
A bolt of energy gathers in the heavens and blasts downward through the Palace without doing any damage, then impacts where Adam is standing. The Power courses all around him in a field of shifting colors, and it’s pretty damn awesome I have to say. Then:
ADAM: “I. Have. The Power!”
Hell yeah, that’s more like it! Adam’s body becomes a scintillating silhouette, and the camera pans rapidly around his changing form. A golden wristband appears on one arm, then a sturdy golden vambrace on the other arm! The camera pans down to see a furry loincloth come into being where you would expect it to be worn. It pans back up and around to see a harness materialize over an expanding torso. A red “H” appears in the center of the harness, then the camera pans away and the colors dissipate to reveal He-Man!
FANS: “Whew! I need a cigarette! Interesting that Adam only changed after saying ‘I have the power,’ though. In all the other media it’s He-Man himself who says that line. I wonder if it’s significant.”
NARRA-TOR: “It’s significant.”
Cringer tries to flee, but He-Man points his sword at the tiger and he too becomes infused with the Power of Grayskull to become the mighty Battle-Cat, but his transformation sequence was never as important. He-Man mounts Battle-Cat, they pose for the camera a moment, and then ride off towards Grayskull.
– – – – –
END OF PART 1 of 2.
No
Sadly downwards Yusef
Gravity the enemy
Unplanned altitude
You know what? Fuck you and Fuck that, i’m not going down without a fight,
That’s the spirit
haiku!
Gesundheit!
Wasn’t sure if those were intentional, but I assume so.
I would love to stick around but it is 7pm, bedtime for this old man. I will be back around 3-4am. Goodnight all.
7 pm? Are you trolling us?
C’mon Suthen. You can’t be sleeping in the daytime if you’re going to sell that timber and buy Tahiti.
It’s a magical place.
I chose Principles over Principals, I walked away from my Dream job, I’ll figure it out, bit UI won’t sell my Soul.
BUT I won’t sell my Soul,
Yusef drives a Kia Soul?
We don’t have masks and no mention of vaccines at my work thankfully. But I have already made up my mind I’m willing to walk away as well if they try to mandate a vaccine. I’m not getting the shot. If needs be we can pay off our house tomorrow and we have no car payments. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that.
Anyone else? Back in my printing days, I was offered a job as a tech for an Italian press manufacturer. The job was basically travelling the world, setting up presses and I would have had to show up in Venice, Italy every 6 months for company shit. I kick myself every day for passing on that opportunity to stay with my crazy ex. If only I could have a life reset button…
Mabye. I was offered a job as Compsci Prof at a private college. I would have had tenure several years ago if I would have taken it.
Not dream job, but I’d have it made.
So many “the one who got away”s….
That Crappy was 4 ft long and 30 lbs, I swear!
Yoopers are yoopers
My dream job is working for SpaceX in Boca Chica. I don’t want to live there.
I draw the line at rebooting He-Man, but I do like meteor showers. I counted 21 in about 30 minutes, and also someone going full send on his crackle-tuned four-banger s%&#box right by the house which kind of ruined the ambience, in addition to the neighbor’s security light coming on.
Already? I can’t wait
Peak time here was midnight onwards. Since I’m still up watching bad VHS rips of spaghetti westerns I might go out again in a little while.
KK Cool, I’ll have to wait,
It seems every time we have a meteor shower visible here the sky clouds up. A damned shame because I live in the middle of nowhere with nearly zero light pollution. I only use that term because I dont have a better one. It isn’t really pollution.
Same here in Manistee, no light pollutin, but clouds, Darn it!
I live in a very small town, away from all the lights….
We have three Lights and a McDonalds, big time!
Sup, bro? Tall cans!
YAY Oh! Got a challenge tomorrow, 18 againgst 57, I’m gonna smoke him, and Ethan is real good
I saw a chink in his armor and will exploit it, muhuahahahah!
Me too, to see how long my wife will let me sleep, vacation tomorrow and no one to play the disc golf with. I’m going to try to take the wife up to Frankenmuth next Spring.
When I was in Windianer, I lived in Big Sky County. On top of the biggest hill in the entire county. OK, so the hill was only 900 ft above sea level. It was still a hill damnit!
Anyway, in December on a clear night the sky was full of stars. I mean not like in Chile, but still…
HAHA! 900 feet?
/Grew up in in 10k Mountains
It was glaciated and the hills all got smashed. There were large boulders dragged all the way from Ontario. I have a softball size chunk fo Nickel Cobalt ore on the entertainment stand. Found in a gravel pit in Windiander. Where there even mountains there ever, on the Tipton Till Plain? I dunno, there sure as hell ain’t now.
OTOH, clear flat sky works best for Meteors, comets, etc.
cleardarksky.com says that Edmonton’s going to be decent seeing conditions tonight. I’ll believe it when I see it. The smoke alone’s been a killer for night-time viewing for the last six weeks or so . . .
I can’t see anything here at night except for tree canopies and the distant glow of Balmer city to the south. Stars? I haven’t seen one of those in years.
When you have Balmer, you don’t need stars.
There was one year by random chance I was out for one of the peak showers. A group of us went up to Edgewater park right by the lake, it was glorious.
I remember gawping wide-eyed looking up at the sky at my grandparents’ house because the constellation was so incredibly visible. Now when I’m out it’s all bleary and spinny, stupid light pollution.
Skeletor: I am not nice!
I still have one of every character from Master’s of the Universe. The original action figures. All of them, Battlecat too, in a box in my foyer closet.
Ugh it’s so hot in here even with my half-assed AC I don’t feel like doing anything. How does anybody live in this soup year-round?!
You get used to it?
Yeah, yeah. I go through this every summer – I just wanted to bitch.
My first summer here – 20+ years ago – was the worst I’ve ever experienced and really had me second-guessing my decision to move here. I’m getting used to it but ever so grateful that in a few weeks I’ll be able to throw the windows open again and get a nice cool breeze….
On the bright side, you don’t get lake effect snow any more.
?
I don’t mind the occasional snowstorm – we do get them every few years – but the season-long ice pack I grew up with, yeah I can live without that.
98 here today, 56% humidity. 101 in Martinsburg WV. It’s going to cool off in a few days.
I have neve lived in a swamp like this, it’s horribad, but not so bad,
It’s only in the low 80’s with ~70% humidity near me. This is fine. There’s always a couple weeks where things are hot and wet.
*flaunts low-90s low-humidity Texan privilege*
I still got sweaty taking an evening stroll with the family, but at least I could cool off in the shade in between sunny parts.
Sometimes I think the Western Desert is where I should be, Hot and dry, but 75? Hell yes, no matter the humidity, I like it here,
From My perspective, it never gets hot here, but the locals whine….
That’s because it’s never really too hot there. Maybe in July or August. When I moved to MD from Indiana, I would laugh at people walking down the street in parkas, with the hood so snug on their faces, not sure how they could see out. When it was 45 Fahrenheit. In IN, if it was 45 in January, everyone would be wearing tank tops and shorts.
People are Strange,
It’s acclimation. And I’ll be honest, I loved MI when I was 12 years old. Now? No way, I’ll stay indoors all winter. I hate cold. I’d rather live in PE, Brazil, and there the avg temp is 89 high, 79 low, 81% humidity in Jan, and 84 high, 73 low in August, 72% humidity.
Now, if you are sitting in a high rise apt facing the beach, with a constant breeze blowing, you won’t even need AC. If you are several blocks back form the beach in a low rise and you get in a place with no breeze, lol. Then you will understand what hot is.
But I don’t know what it is there, the air feels super charged with oxygen and the clouds look like you can touch them. The other thing is flying. There is no turbulence at all. It’s a completely better experience.
/cue up the 50 F in Fall and 50 F in Spring pictures from the entire midwest.
It’s sort of like that in the Chesapeake area of Murland. But it’s more like 75 F. Spring and Fall here can be weeks, even a month or two of not having to use heat or AC at all, doors and windows open all day and night.
“Hot and dry, but 75?”
I dunno, maybe in Simi Valley. In Tuscon? Maybe in Jan, Feb? We tried to move there, it’s very expensive.
75 here, not there, in Bhc it doesnt get below 100 right now,
Ah, I see. 98 here today. 75 in August? Maybe at night.
here its 80 to 65, and High humidity, just damp….
Podunkville is forecast to be 46 tomorrow morn. goodness, only 14 degrees above freezing
Podunkville is right next Door!
No more tourourests
I think the low temperature here tonight is supposed to be around 70.
Why? really Ted
77 for the low here tonight, around 6am.
I could be up. I do biphasic sleep, so I never know…
79 is our low tonight.
“79 is our low tonight”
Concrete Jungle.
Hyperion:
Concrete Jungle?
Don’t know if I feel alright…
Well crap. RIP
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neal_Conan
Eff me. That wasn’t supposed to be here.
I think we got that here last October. But the first frost is typically first week of November.
Simi valley is overpriced nonsense
Simi valley is two thirds the price of my neighborhood. I would consider moving to the knolls, if not for the extra drive time.
I saw a house on Zillow right down the street from where I lived in Simi. In 1965. My grandfather and his partner built that house. I really would like to see the total sales history of that house. It’s listed for 700k now. 440k in 2000. I think they’ve hidden sales history before that.
That’s a badassed house for 700 in Simi. My friend bought a 3 story brand new mansion up on the hill atop the knolls for 750 about three years ago. There’s a bunch of 5-600k houses down on the flat land out there.
First house I saw on Zillow in Simi tonight was 1.2 million. But it was a more upscale hood than I lived in and was like 4000 sq ft. I think our house was right around 2000 sq ft on a concrete slab. I don’t know if there are even basements there. We had a nice little back yard with a concrete wall around it. I remember my grandfather building that wall after we moved in. Nice little desert scene we had, tarantulas and Gila Monsters included. Biggest damn grasshoppers I’ve ever seen. Front yard was green though courtesy of the sprinklers.
Housing prices around here have increased at least 50% since 2019. And they stay on the market avg less than 24 hours.
I love Simi, but it’s about 10 degrees hotter in the summer and an extra 45 minutes of driving, compared to where I’m at now. Sure would be nice to not be in L.A. county, though.
Found the house we lived in. Last listing was $698,000.
Ventura County definitely a better choice, I’m sure that is still true. The hood looks pretty much exactly like it did then with a few upgrades. Nice view of the hills.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/amy-coney-barrett-declines-request-for-supreme-court-to-block-indiana-university-vaccine-mandate/ar-AANg3fJ
No reason or comment given. Remember when she replaced RGB and everything was going to be great?
I preferred Justice CMYK.
She needs to repudiate her origin with OMB. She’s probably dumb enough not to see the illogical nature of this ruling as well, but she sure seems to do exactly the opposite of what Donny would have wanted. I think she is trying to untaint her tenure.
Luckily, she’s not the Supreme Court. We’ll have to wait until October to see what they do. Which is why all the speed in implementing this Nazi bullshit. They want it to be fairly widespread before then. It sure looks like it’s working.
Could be worse but she sucks.
Now’s the time to choose. Stay engaged with the oppressive mainstream culture or find a small pocket of like-minded people who respect your bodily autonomy and beliefs. There’s no knight in shining armor awaiting your pleas.
What, you don’t think Turtlehead will save us?
Their school boards are making clear, your little havens of wrongthink aren’t havens after all.
Wait until they get force jabbed en masse. Watch them cry the loudest of all.
Well… at least I’m used to being a part of multiple subcultures.
From the Fox article on this story:
1 employee per every 2.25 students? I wonder why higher education costs so much.
All these times I was finding myself,
And didn’t know I was lost,
Hey Grumble, that was fun.
Now I don’t ahve to see the movie – not that I would have.
I’ve seen earlier ones and you synopsis pretty much matched the snark going through my mind while watching.
Thanks, it was fun to write.
Well crap. RIP
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neal_Conan
WTF? 70 year old dudes dropping dead like flies? Scary, I’m 61 and I’m told I look 50 at most. One thing I do know, Ahhnold looks like Yoda compared to me. Must be the wokeness.
He’s also 12 years older and the steroids have worn off (I assume.)
He’s had multiple major heart surgeries too I think. That takes its toll.
Hadn’t heard this guy’s story before… Yeesh
Why would anyone not believe him? The modern day progs are little Bolsheviks. This started in the 1920s and 30s, and here we are. The slow walk through the institutions is pretty much complete.
Also, it’s good you’ve been banned from all social media platforms. What were you still doing on that garbage heap?
And schools. The GOP are dead fucking wrong in complaining we need to reopen public schools. No. We need to NOT need to reopen public school, ever. We need to let it die. Homeschool your kids, seek private alternatives. Just say no to the toxic garbage that is public school.
Backpack funding. Anyone who is against that is a monster.
I completely agree. My youngest got an earful from me about this every time we discussed her closed school.
Look.
I can appreciate the sentiment, its principle is sound, and you make a good point.
But the reality for people with kids is vastly different from principle (isn’t reality ALWAYS different from principles?), and we have to work within the framework of what we’ve got. I canNOT homeschool my kid and I canNOT afford private alternatives. That is my reality, so yeah, the schools need to open up.
Which is why opposition to school vouchers is evil.
Absolutely.
Mojeaux:
Well… I’m not there with you, since I have no kids, but that’s why I’m a big fan of backpack funding. If I’m going to have to pay for school for the kids, I at least want the parents to have choices and the funding to match what the parents want.
Sorry, Mo. I have to call BS. You don’t have time to homeschool. I get that. But, the idea you can’t afford private school, is BS. You sound like a government drone (“nothing left to cut”). Bullshit. Cut that data plan on your cellphone, Cut out HBO, Cinemax or hell, even cable altogether. There are sacrifices you could make. It won’t be pleasant, but they’re doable.
Rape? Incest? Beatings? Ok, they’re bad, but to me, there is no greater form of child abuse, than sending your kids off to the government to be “educated”.
Youtube instead of cable. Hamburger Helper instead of ribeyes. There are cuts to your lifestyle you could make. I don’t know your situation, but I haven’t seen any evidence you’re living in the projects using ebt cards to feed your family. Maybe I’m off base here.
They’re your kids, it’s none of my business. Personally, I would cut off my left nut before I sent my kid off to the government, for their permanent retardation.
#youcandobettermo
Not trying to be an asshole, but I’ve been homeless. It’s amazing how much you can cut when you are forced to. Your kids are worth it.
Clearly.
Cutting frivolities is all well and good, but with two children I’d need to scrape together $20,000+ per year for private school. I already don’t have cable. I already do most of my grocery shopping at Aldi. I rarely buy alcohol anymore. I basically do nothing for myself that costs any money – no golf, haven’t been shooting in almost six months because ammo is crazy expensive, etc.
I’m sure there’s fat to be trimmed, but nowhere near $20K worth. That number represents about a fifth of our annual household income.
For Hyp: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h2Ccbjp3hCg
Sent to wifey, she loves that type of stuff.
From Withnail and I (ask Limey).
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qhvg_ibNwao
Nice work Grumbletarian.
I met a guy today in a familiar position as me, He just lost his Lifetime Wife, and is wandering, He is totally lost, and I can’t help him, who helps me,
It’s impossible to feel self pity while in the process of helping someone else.
I have moved on, and found new life, and purpose, Not everyone gets that chance,
This is the reason I am done with women. No matter what, you lose. It always ends in a broken heart. I may be lonely and die alone. But, at least I am living my life, on my terms, and the only person I am responsible for, is the guy in the mirror. You can’t lose if you don’t play the game.
But the Womens! they really like you and want you, don’t kid yourself. you are wanted, even if they don’t yell it at you,
OTOH I think I have been blocked by one, oops!
Oh, they want me alright, because I work my ass off. They love that sweet support. I’m an idiot, but I’m not stupid. I’d love a companion. We could cook dinner together, watch tv or a movie and just chill out together. Just hang out, ya know? I’d love to find a laid back gal who can just relax and hang. But, that chick doesn’t exist. They all want something, and it’s never good enough. I’m sick of that shit. I’d rather rub one out and roll over and go to sleep.Romance is fiction and it only happens in books or movies. Or, as I call them, horror stories. Chicks? Hard pass. I’m not 20 with a raging boner, anymore. At 56, I can use my brain instead.
Guy I talked to in the warehouse I used to audit felt the same way as you. He said two or three weekends a year, he’d go into Dallas and pay for some really good escort sex. As they say, you don’t pay for the sex, you pay for them to leave.
If I bring a six-pack, can I sit next to your lovely dog? 😉
My new thing to do on my hour commute is listen to the big albums from my youth front to back, just like I did back in the day. Yesterday afternoon was Appetite for Destruction.
“Old Man” try A farewell to Kings if you want old skool,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvcFV8aeCsQ&list=PLaVHibd49QFLDcS_C6GbUYzhZyfivilNG
I’ll pass on the Rush. Geddy is a hell of a bass player, but he sings like a chick trying to have a normal conversation on the phone while simultaneously getting fucked.
That’s a solid analogy. Fight me.
Screaming hamster, Fight that!
Duff’s bass playing is kick-ass. Especially in the second half; he’s practically the lead guitar. Awesome arrangement, awesome playing, amazing song, amazing album.
??
To Stand within the Pleasure dome,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLh3A6AqmUs&list=PLaVHibd49QFLDcS_C6GbUYzhZyfivilNG&index=2
I keep my friends close, and ther friends are all sleeping,
https://photos.app.goo.gl/qALYFJVdbXzyZ5b56
Local Observation on Covid Mask Theatre: Kansas City Edition
Even at it’s highest hysteria in the Autumn of 2020, the KC Metro area was at best in the seventy percent compliance range. So far(based on my own anecdotal observation) it’s barely above fifty percent at best and that’s with a fresh mandate in effect. There’s no chiding by the businesses’ staff, no mean glares or snide comments by the devoted Covidians, no will to enforce the new mandates by city or county officials, just a mandatory sign on the entrance stating that the mandate is in effect…it’s an empty, token gesture nothing burger…Granted, my take may be skewed due to not spending a great deal of time amongst the affluent. I suspect that a significant percentage of the well to do with nothing better to do with their free time other than have a never ending series of existential crises to overcome are worried sick right now. For the lesser of us, it’s a shrug of the shoulders and carrying on with life…
KC/Missouri/Kansas has its flaws and is kind of boring in general. However, it has been more immune to the drastically ambitious overreach of most government officials in the name of collective health than most areas. Despite Mayor Lucas’s best efforts.
To summarize: I hate/love this place…I love it a touch more than usual tonight.
They have you fooled, but you do you,
Expand.
To clarify, who do you think is fooling me? The people I see in public openly not complying with the mandates or the government officials imposing them? I suffer no illusions as to the desires of the political class, regardless the political party: Absolute Power.
My comment was a positive testament to the people of the area. Despite the desires of the State, they can’t implement their ordinances and mandates. Heavy-handed enforcement is a political loser and they know it. That’s a good thing.
Grocery store I went to today had about 10% compliance in visitors, and about 60% compliance (assuming mask over mouth and nose) for employees. I’ve noticed the grocery prices creeping up, as a regular run cost me about 30% more then usual (and with only one six pack).
The local grocery chain my wife works at just mandated mask for all employees (even vaccinated) but is only recommending customers wear them (which nearly none of them will follow). They will very soon be trying to fill a lot of newly opened positions.
Based on local observations, shoppers under 30 will follow the “strong recommendations”. I’ve never been more disappointed in the younger generation until this past year.
Oh, man…right?! It’s supposed to be the youth fighting the man! Turns out it’s mostly the don’t-give-a-shit Gen Xers getting fired up about this shit.
Prices increase, portion sizes decrease. There are no consequences for printing a quarter of the country’s entire history of currency in a small handful of years and there is no such thing as inflation.
The Fresh Market had bone in ribeyes on sale this week. $11.99/lb. ?
A song I feel fits this place.
We don’t got much, but we got each other.
Cool tune. Also, Aimee Allen is a cutie. Hard would.
I’m glad things are copacetic in your locale. I’ve seen similar reactions in North Dakota; almost nobody gives a shit. Granted, in a few short months it’ll be 20 below zero, but for now, life is grand.
The Upper-Midwest is on my short list of areas to escape to before this whole experiment collapses.
Since TheOtherKevin did bring up the libertarian aspects of Roller Derby, just thought I’d post my old article from 4(!) years ago. https://www.glibertarians2017.link/2017/05/22/why-i-love-roller-derby/
I’m so over this theatre, yes it killed my Wendy, but something would have sooner or later, every death is prevenatable, so fucking what? Life your life ine a bubble? or just live?
I’ll take the danger of Life, My Wife did, and she paid, fair enough,
Live your life in a Bubble, Damn it!
I drink too much and have a shit memory, but I’m sure Wendy passed before COVID.
Nope, 2/13/20 wanna see the Death Cert? I’ll post it, you decide,
Fuck no, I don’t want to see it.
However, A) that’s very early in the whole “pandemic” and B) I don’t recall you ever saying it was COVID at the time.
But, hey….like I said; I drink too much and have a shit memory.
Stop bragging.
Fuck You! I’m quite enraged by that statement, thanks!
I also have an average sized dick.
Nice deflection, I’ll step back now, good work!
Here, you tell me what happened,
https://photos.app.goo.gl/uasnB5oWwaCvewh89
As I recall, she was overweight. She also had cardio-vascular issues. I do not recall any mention of COVID during that terrible time. I hate arguing with you about this (and this will be my last comment on it) but I do not recall any talk of COVID when it happened or in your subsequent posts in the month or two after. Again, I’ll cop to a shit memory. Maybe you did and I just am forgetting.
Regardless, you still have my sympathies, thoughts, and best wishes.
t took some sluething between my Daughter and I to figure out what was going on, when she died I was mentally wiped out and didn’t see what was going on, all i/ knew was my Wendy was gone, try it it, it wrecks your life
You had then, and still have now, all my sympathy. I can’t imagine what you went through.
Tall cans, buddy!
Back at you Bro! I cannot be killed or offended, I am Nuclear impervious, and Pussy proof, Kill me and i will just come back! Biggener and bolder!
There is only one Bro, and a 2D mooninite such as MikeS aint him. And The Bro’s name should never be coming out of your mouth unless it is in fealty.
Dude, if you were in person, I would kick your worthless punk ass! enjoy the day Fuckstick!
You are frail and weak old man.
Seriously, Broch. If you said half the things you say here to a person face to face in real life you would have had your ass handed to you a dozen times over. Your internet troll/tough guy act has worn more thin than topnotchtoledo’s, you raging prick. Fuck you and your tired, one note schtick.*
*I suppose this is what you desire and gets you off. I don’t care, fuck you.
I think you take yourself too seriously.
Good God, Bro! Da fuck is wrong with you?
The Brotard is living proof that there’s no such thing as Peak Douche…seriously, da fuck is wrong with you?
I’m so sorry for your loss, Yusef. The odd thing is, death only effects the living. The dead don’t know they are dead. Only the living are aware and have to deal with death.
I lost the love of my life in 2014. It makes me sad, but I know she is now at peace.
Your Wendy is now at peace.
As survivors, all we can do is press on. Because in short time, we will join them in death.
All we can do, is live our lives with whatever time we have left.
The one takeaway from all this, is we are all fucked, Live your life and be grateful for the time you had with her.
Sorry, man. I’m just rambling. Hearing of other people’s losses reminds me of my own losses.
It stinks, but I’m too chickenshit to commit suicide.
Fucking piece of shit IOS. Fucking piece of shit websites.
Looks like a tough night for a lot of us.
Here.
I have nothing but love for you all.
Fag.
Perfect.
For you.
2nd half of that off the album Tim
It’s so goddamn beautiful.
Think they named it after me?
It has to be you. Nothing else makes sense.
Get your ass back to GlibFit.
Chafed calls you out all the time. It’s time for you to return.
Even once a week.
I’m gonna.
I’m gonna try. Weekends are really busy.
I’m gonna try.
We’re all busy.
This weird-ass place keeps us all moving forward.
Back at you T, Keep hanging buddy!
Look at this. Tundra moves one time zone and joins Late Nite Glibs™️
As long as he respects my authority, we should be fine.
authority, HAHAHAHA!!!
God I must be bored,
As long as you assholes respect Minneapolis awesomeness.
meh.
Here’s nearly 3 minutes of Minneapolis awesomeness
Portland police arrest a man (days later) for threatening “journalists” and other with an airsoft toy. Gee, guess which faction he’s from?
https://www.oregonlive.com/crime/2021/08/police-arrest-man-seen-pointing-airsoft-rifle-at-people-in-downtown-portland-after-weekend-clash.html
“Journalists” that are so threatened that they just stand there taking pictures. Sure are the actions of people who are frightened. Oh, and the man called 911 at the time because a mob was following him. Zero response other than told to make his own way to a police station.
Same “journalist” smear him as a right wing militant. If only he was a militant. Fix bayonets and run those fuckers through.
Yeah, that sounds like an even-handed description. ?
Well… they are to the right of Che Guevara.
Why is everyone so testy? Humidity?
Cuold be,
/No A/c
Past my bedtime. Will rectify momentarily.
ARE YOU THREATENING ME?
No, it’s “ARE YOU DETAINING ME?”
Am I blocked? no one answers me on text or Glibs, I’m not here…………….
<a href="https://yellowhammernews.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/kramer-mind-blown.gif" title="Maybe you're the only one not blocked.” target=”_blank”>Maybe you’re the only one not blocked.
You’re here.
Is thins where you live?
Got out early…..TALL BREAKFAST CANS!
suh’ fam
Office day today.
I forgot to add the new person to the visitor system in case their ID didn’t work on the door.
Oops.
Turns out I can add them the day of without hassle.
I only recently got entrusted with being able to authorize visitors in the system. So I didn’t know.
Morning y’all
Good morning, homey, U, & Sean!
Happy “problem” of sorts – yesterday I figured out that unless I take another substantial chunk of time off within the next few weeks, I’ll max out at 240 hours by October 25th. Any suggestions re: some place we should/could travel? (Don’t know if I could sell Honey Harvest – that may be a bit too far from SW OH.)
Geneva State Park on Lake Erie.
whaddup, pimp-juice
enjoy another swim to the car through the soup that is our local troposphere.
Sounds really nice! Guess it’s not one of the Great Ohio Lodges at some of the other state parks. Must be run independently. The Great ones owe us a free night – spent our tenth night at a lodge up at Maumee Bay for our anniversary, but no one there knew to sign our completed card. Hope they honor it when we go to cash it in!
Did we ever get any rain to speak of last night? We have grass seed that needs to be watered on the slope where the neighbors cleared out some of the shrubs between our lots. If we don’t grass it up, dirt washes over Tranq Base every time it rains.
No rain that Im aware of. I did look @ the radar and went out to close the truck windows as a prophylactic measure. Last weekend I p̶a̶s̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ fell asleep while we had a downpour, and Jugsy had to rush out in the rain to close them.
Naturally, her stupid Camaro is safely ensconced in the garage.
You have room in your garage for a car???
I donno.
Right now I’m really annoyed/concerned because yet another problem might cause me trouble with the hole in the ground tour.
I’m really pissed off at the number of problems that keep cropping up around this trip. All I want to do is take my dad to see the Grand Canyon. Is that too much to ask?
Oh, no! I hope you can work out whatever issue has arisen. I know how much & how long you’ve been looking forward to this trip! ?
My dad has a pain that could be anything from severe muscle strain to kidney stone to a hernia. Hernia means no trip since it will need to be treated pronto. The other two possibilities are more up in the air as to the degree of impact, because we are all of three weeks from the planned start of the trip. Of course, we won’t know what the problem is until after his appointment today. I’m hoping it’s just the muscle strain. But if the pain levels are enough to bring the other two into contention, it seems unlikely.
Oh, dear! I hope it’s as minor and quickly-remedied as possible!
Thanks. That’s the sentiment over here as well.
Healing Gloves for your Pappy!
Thanks.
All I can do is wait for further word. I mean, he’s down in Maryland, so I’ve got no chance of intervening, not that there’s a lot I could do in person.
“… to a hernia”
+2 Turn Your Head & Cough
https://wwaraft.com/
Other things in western PA.
Lots to do and see out that way.
https://m.soundcloud.com/everythinggorillazp2/feelgoodinc
?
Likely the only Gorillaz song I find tolerable. And likely only cause of the video.
https://www.wfmz.com/news/area/lehighvalley/missing-poster-for-local-girls-lost-teddy-bear-goes-viral/article_cb8a97c4-fbb4-11eb-88e8-d34eb465417a.html
https://www.wgal.com/article/usps-peak-shipping-fees-holiday-season/37295598
Why can’t we defund these jokers?
Well, those forty years of retirement don’t pay for themselves.
Yet they still ask patrons to take a survey on the receipt. I haven’t seen one of those in the private sector in a while, thank dog.
These stamps are pretty cool though: https://store.usps.com/store/product/buy-stamps/sun-science-S_480804
Last year I mailed presents on Dec 11. My brother’s box got there Dec 28th. Never again. UPS or FedEx.
*package gets redirected to SmartPost and MailSolutions, ending up with USPS*
https://www.nj.com/coronavirus/2021/08/2-outdoor-events-at-nj-city-are-requiring-covid-vaccine-proof-to-enter.html
Don’t participate in their bullshit events. The vaccines, they do nothing (at best). At worst…well, I hope the Glibs who got them don’t have ill effects.
Hoboken. Shocking.
I can’t even adequately explain how enraged I am. Less than 48 hours after our school board voted to make masks optional, the scumbag motherfucker King Coonman McBlackface Iissued his royal decree. Just pure, unadulterated rage at this point. Even private schools are no option under this bullshit. Fuck this asshole until the end of time.
On a happier note, I stopped by the local produce market yesterday. They always have these clearance bags of veg and fruit that are close to going bad. The contents are different everytime, but it’s a big bag of em for $3. Yesterday they had bags with nothing but glorious Hanover tomatoes. Bought one that was probably at least ten pounds worth and made marinara out of them. Been simmering on the stove all night. The taste is dynamite.
Ugh… Sorry to hear that. NYC’s Board of Ed. announced, right as last year was ending, that this coming school year would be all on campus with no distance learning options at all (despite the city spending a great deal of money on the system and promising no more snow days as now everyone can learn via Zoom). Also, masks for all kids because these fuckers are evil.
No pricks? Oh, that’s only for (what’s left of) private business.
I like to think that forcibly medicating children would be a step to far and would end in gunplay, but after last year… IDK anymore.
I haven’t seen a public feed bag for two weeks. All Government institutions are still mandating the face diaper. I’m probably going to be expected to wear one until the heat death of the Universe. So many girls out in shorty shorts and maskless today!
Thanks for this, GT! It’s like woke Charmed!
::sniffles:: I thought I was GT. ?
You’ll always be GT to me, Red. I apologize. 😉
Thanks! Aw, shucks! I can’t stay upset with you! ?
Judi went out the acreage to watch the meteor shower. I hope it doesn’t disappoint.
Ooh… I hope she was not disappointed. I tried but we have far too much light pollution here to see anything but the moon.
Thirty miles out of town. Dark skies abound. I checked last night when they were peaking. Not a single one.
Of course the one that we’ll see will be SMOD.
/fingers crossed
Toes also…
…and arms…
::crosses legs::
It always blew me away. The cartoon cavalcade that everyone else grew up with. When I was a wee lad we had Bugs Bunny on Saturday and whatever Disney gave us on Sunday. That’s what happens when your people have one channel. You keep watching those old flicks and then you start getting wise to the jokes. Layers, Man!
Until I was 12 or 13, my only exposure to television was when visiting my grandparents. Those Saturday mornings, sprawled on the floor, wearing one of grandpa’s giant t-shirts, grandma making blueberry pancakes and sausage, while I learned physics from an obsessed cayote with an ACME catalog.
AWESOME! My Grandparents always took the boys for the weekend! So many happy memories and pancakes! Thank You Friend!
My grandparents were gone by the time I was born and TV wasn’t a thing when I was a kid. I read the comic strips in the paper though and listened to “The B Bar B Boys” and “The Green Hornet” on the radio.
Looney Tunes, old Disney stuff, the Little Rascals and the Three Stooges were favored in my and my friends’ houses along with a litany of other older stuff. For good or ill it sort of gave us all a shared cultural perspective that doesn’t seem to exist anymore with all the on demand stuff and the endless remakes.
Hence the frequent Looney-Toons references on this very site.
The evil ones are over-reaching but unless they get efficient push-back, they will claw back every one of our freedoms. They either want you enslaved or culled from the herd. This is the most important turning point in Western History since the collapse of the Soviet Union.
They have almost all of the cultural, academic, political, and financial institutions and a 50/50 divided populace. We’re in trouble.
I’m coughing up a storm. I won’t live to see the end of things.
Almost on my way!
/Repaints the faded “The End is Nigh” sign
“The End is Neigh”?
I’m back. Anybody miss me? *shrugs*
Keeping in line with the post, all I got is:
Lena Headey is lovely as a brunette. I’d like to see her as a redhead. (and without tats)
I’m so out of it, I didn’t realize you’d been missing.
Welcome back.
Thanks. I think I’ll stick to lurking during day and evenings. It’s better for my BP. 🙂
You have a baked penguin?
Joking aside, I’m surprised that my blood pressure is normal. Of all the health issues I’d expect to have, hypertension is up there, but not one I actually have.
Anyway, do what is best for yourself, don’t let our loneliness drag you here unwillingly.
TARDy!!! So happy to see you again! Where’ve you been?? ::rushes up, gives TARDy a big hug::
*puts on virile glove, hesitantly fist-bumps Tardis*
I only put on my virile gloves for “bumping” my wife, but you do you.
Double dick! Lucky girl!
Aww. Gee thanks. *hugs*
Took a break during my vacation. Then got busy at work because of said vacation. Then let myself get depressed. Now I’m chillin’.
It’s a hard row to hoe. Glad that you are feeling better, Tardis!
Thanks,
I’m like Nixon. I’m tanned. I’m rested. I’m ready to run.
Or maybe I’ll just tow the lion instead.
Good Morning ALl
Suns coming up, hope its a great Friday for all of us.
I’ll add my concurrence to that sentiment.
Since it never gets old (for me at least), may as well let the day begin.
Shame Ive been up all night.
Nope. Love that fucking song! You play it and bone fat chicks to your heart’s content, Friend.
This.
That is a good song!
https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/usa-diabetes-covid/
Where’s the no diabeetus passports at?
Can we get our money back?
Trump done it!
Sure, just ask the MIC and all their sycophants for it. I’m sure all the patriotic six-figure tax free contractors will pony it right up too.
Plus 2400 KIAs
Considering the point wasn’t to train the army, but instead funnel money to those suckling the govt teat, it appears to be a huge success.
Uh…pass.