Revelations Rewrites, Part 3
Note to Readers: The following will contain spoilers and critiques of the second episode of Masters of the Universe: Revelation. Like, a whole lot of spoilers. I’m not even kidding here. Spoilers of all sizes and colors, for low, low prices! Some of the spoilers are mixed lovingly with snark. Some spoilers are mixed hatefully with snark if that’s your jam, and I’m totally not judging you right now. Much. Considering I spent over 5,000 words on the first episode, I suppose I should warn you that this will probably be a long read split up into two parts, which goes to show how invested I apparently am in a cartoon. Hey, are you judging me now?!
That’s okay, I am too.
If you don’t like spoilers, just scroll on down to the comments. I won’t mind. Watch out for the spoilers on the way though. If you don’t like snark, what are you doing here? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore!
– – – – –
Episode 2: Poisoned Chalice
– – – – –
SCENE: Inside a wooden building, facing a closed door. It is daytime; the walls have several gaps in them allowing daylight to dimly illuminate the interior. The door opens, revealing two cloaked figures, wearing identical masks covering their entire faces.
The building seems to enclose a small tunnel opening, leading downward to a larger chamber. At the end of this larger room opposite the tunnel large bags are heaped against the wall, mixed with unidentifiable refuse. The floor is covered in grime, and insects can be seen flying around the trash. The ceiling here is somewhat open, as a network of wines supports a patchwork canopy of hanging mosses. One of the figures complains that, despite using “full filtration,” there is a strong stench in the air.
The other figure says nothing, but looks at some sort of device with a blinking point of light on the screen directly ahead. This figure looks at the first, silently. The first figure makes an exasperated sound and begins digging into the pile of garbage.
FIGURE 1: “Ugh, this smell is so gross! It’s like if you took all the pig farts in Eternia and put them into a single egg, and then you let that egg sit in the sun for a month!”
The second figure remains silent, looking around the room.
FIGURE 1: “Yuck, have I talked about this smell yet? Because it’s really horrible! Believe it or not, it reminds me of a toy that used to be sold years ago when I was little. Some skunk-monster-guy thing that my brother had to have when were kids. Skunk-O or somesuch. Anyhow, it smells like there are a hundred of the stupid things buried in this pile right in front of me, along with maybe a whiff of foreshadowing.”
The second figure still has nothing to say as the first continues rummaging. Eventually the first individual uncovers something that looks less disgusting than everything else and lifts a small object out of the muck.
FIGURE 1: “Hey, I found it!”
Suddenly, a large figure with black and white fur rises out of the filth pretty much right where the object was and grasps the thief by the wrists with both hands! The creature has a bright yellow breastplate on, with two tall metal canisters on its black, and is also responsibly masked. Fans recognize him as Stinkor, one of Skeletor’s henchmen. The silent cloaked figure pockets the device they were carrying and moves forward. The figure with the object in hands lifts one leg and pushes off of Stinkor, breaking his grip and creating space between them.
STINKOR: “Hey yourself! Hands off my stuff!”
Stinkor removes his mask and belches — literally, with the sound and everything, sheesh — a billowing cloud of noxious-looking fumes. Canonically, Stinkor was the result of a chemical weapons accident and the stench emanated constantly and uncontrollably from his entire body. His armor was designed by Tri-Klops to contain and direct his odor like a weapon. Maybe it’s malfunctioned or something, but Stinkor didn’t burp massive clouds of gas, like, ever. Sigh.
Anyway, the cloud of burp-gas quickly spreads and surrounds the two masked figures, who begin coughing under their masks. Stinkor puts his mask back on and is obscured from sight as the clouds thicken around him. Stinkor attempts to tackle the figure with the item, but the second figure pushes the first aside, causing Stinkor to miss. The second figure pulls out a small rod, and each end lengthens mechanically until it’s the size of a staff. Twirling the staff rapidly overhead, the pungent fog clears around the three. Yeah. I’m not even going to pretend to explain how that might work.
There is a tense moment where the figure with the staff and Stinkor stare at each other, then…
– – – – –
SCENE: Outside of the ramshackle structure. One wall is smashed as Stinkor is propelled out of the building at great speed, landing pretty far away on top of what looks like a produce cart next to a shocked vendor. One almost expects to hear the vendor lament “My cabbages!” at this point, but such a one would be disappointed. Stinkor is down and dazed, well defeated. The two other figures descend the slope to stand over their vanquished foe. The first figure removes its — her mask, revealing a young African-Eternian woman.
FIGURE 1: “Ugh, you know this stinker?”
KEVIN SMITH: “Tee Hee!
FANS: “Dude, just stop.”
FIGURE 2: “Stinkor.”
The second figure removes its — her, also — mask. It’s Teela! Older, but not old, with a severe undercut hairstyle that just screams ‘I’m showing the world what a rebel I am by conforming to what they’d think a rebel would look like.’
TEELA: “From my old life.”
Teela Solo tosses a small bag of what I guess is money to the vendor and apologizes for the mess, then departs. If she knows Stinkor, she’d know that when he wakes up he’ll probably vent his anger on puny shopkeepers and steal any bags of money he finds on them, but she doesn’t feel sorry enough for the mess to mention that I guess.
– – – – –
SCENE: A rather long and narrow building, with a tall tower at the far end and a large fancy window above the entrance. A priestess inside thanks Teela and her companion for returning the Glove of Globula, a magic item of some sort that has now apparently become a focus of worship for the people. Being a kids show, religion on Eternia was never delved into deeply, so there’s little canonic information. But worshiping a glove?
Anyway, the priestess returns the valuable relic to the same case from which Stinkor likely stole it, while mentioning that they had mistakenly considered the glove theft-proof. Stinkor apparently wanted to sell the glove; magic has abandoned Eternia, and items that retain enchantment are highly valuable. Which is why Stinkor hid it in a trash pit.
Teela scoffs at the loss of magic.
TEELA: “You don’t need magic when you’ve got technology on your side. I found your glove with this handy gadget made by my pal here. This is Andra.”
ANDRA: “Sup?”
PRIESTESS: “Oh, are we making introductions now that your mission is completed and you’ve been paid? Well, I’m Not Interested.”
The Priestess walks away.
TEELA: “Tech rules, magic drools!”
OLD WOMAN: “Oh, well said.”
Teela and Andra turn, and an elderly woman in a heavy robe is standing nearby in the shadow of one of the temple’s pillars.
ANDRA: “Can we help you…?”
WOMAN: “Call me … Magestra. And what I want is a job done.”
The woman is elderly, with white hair, but she looks familiar somehow… She tosses a small bag to the floor, and some fine jewels spill out where it lands.
MAGESTRA: “You returned a stolen item to this temple. Do the same for me. There is an old goblet that I would very much like to have returned to me, but it’s in a very dangerous place. Retrieve the goblet and I’ll pay triple this amount.”
ANDRA: “Oh you got a deal!”
TEELA: “Let me guess, this is a magic goblet.” She emphasizes the word ‘magic’ mockingly.
MAGESTRA: “No, just sentimental. The goblet belonged to a friend. A dead friend. My best friend. I would pay anything for its safe return.”
TEELA: “Fine, whatever. Where is this goblet anyway?”
MAGESTRA: “Snake. Mountain.”
ANDRA: What the Fu-?”
TEELA: “Say, your dead best friend didn’t happen to also be in charge of Snake Mountain before he died, did he?”
MAGESTRA: “What? Oh, sweet merciful Hordak, no! Ha ha ha, what a funny thing for you to say!”
TEELA: “Oh, okay then. We’ll be back in two days with your dead best friend’s cup that’s in the headquarters of all that’s evil on Eternia.”
– – – – –
SCENE: Snake Mountain. A towering peak on the badlands of Eternia’s dark side, where it is forever night. Snake Mountain would probably be called a monadnock on Earth, a geological term meaning a tall exposed mass of bedrock in an otherwise non-mountainous area. Snake Mountain truly gets its name from the carving of a gigantic fanged serpent that coils around the mountain from the tail at the base to the head overlooking the peak of the spire. In the Filmation series the fanged mouth was used by Skeletor as a balcony to overlook the region and lot the fall of Grayskull. In later versions a river of lava flows from the open mouth instead.
There is a brief flashback to events of the past, clued in by showing Teela in her old Captain of the Royal Guard uniform. She and He-Man battle Whiplash, a lizard-man henchmen of Skeletor’s, named so for the use of his long tail as a whip to strike at foes from a distance. Teela and He-Man defeat Whiplash by knocking him into a pit trap outside of Wolf’s Gate, one of the known entrances to the mountain lair.
The flashback ends, showing Wolf’s Gate with an obvious grid of light beams in front of the door, and the ground in front of it intact. Andra examines the mechanism beside the door and says it is trapped with a pressure-sensitive trigger. Teela opens the trap door in the area before the door and jumps down, indicating that they’ll dig their way into the mountain instead. By hand, which would take some time engaging in back-breaking labor, while hopefully remaining undiscovered.
But it works.
– – – – –
SCENE: Inside Snake Mountain. Teela and Andra have found a ventilation duct large enough to crawl in, and from there have made their way into a hallway of Skeletor’s former lair. This is not the Snake Mountain fans remember; what once were natural corridors carved in the mountain are now squared off and finished in metal panels, with glowing lights, exposed plumbing, and control panels of varying appearance.
The sound of approaching footsteps spur Teela and Andra to hide behind some metal drums nearby. A figure walks past; a man, clad in long purple and black robes. He pauses and turns his head toward where the heroines are hiding, and we see one side of his face is now covered in exposed wiring, his eye on that side glowing a lurid red. A cyborg! The cyborg pulls the hood of his robe up over his head and walks on, joined by other similarly dressed figures. The last two figures in line make perfect targets of course, and are silently dispatched by Teela and Andra, who then don the robes and follow the rest into a larger chamber.
A ceremony is taking place. The hooded figures gather around a raised platform, and we can see Skeletor’s original cyborg Trap-Jaw and the fully robotic Blast-Attak in the room, along with Whiplash, now also heavily cybernetically augmented. On the raised platform is Tri-Klops, who was an inventor and tactician among Skeletor’s minions. Now Tri-Klops is dressed in priestly vestments, praising an entity called The Motherboard, decrying the ‘false promise’ and sinful ways of magic, and urging a commoner brought before him to drink a mysterious fluid from a silvery goblet.
The dialogue is … terrible. Henry Rollins was cast in the role of Tri-Klops, and his voice is great, but the dialogue he has to recite is just terrible. There’s apparently a triumverate in this religion, the last of the three being The Holy Sprocket. Ugh. And technology is something for them to ‘live and diode’ by, sheesh. To me at least, the journey from Evil Inventor to Technology Pope is a little hard to fathom. It makes sense for him to look upon magic with scorn and consider technology better without going so far as to start worshiping tech like it’s a god. This, for me, is the low point of the first five episodes. But I digress…
The commoner gratefully takes the goblet, praising Cardinal Tri-Klops for his mercy and kindness, and drinks. After an appropriate moment of nothing happening, something happens! The man writhes on the ground in agony, and his body begins to transform. Circuitry emerges from his flesh, crawling from his left elbow towards his hand. Similar circuitry begins to appear on his face! One eye opens wide, then the eyeball becomes more mechanical and pops out of his socket at the end of a long mechanical tendril. The camera withdraws and we see his left arm has become completely metal from the elbow down, and a retractable saw blade springs out of his iron forearm! Archbishop Tri-Klops leads the group in a solemn prayer of thanks to the Motherboard at this transformation.
Andra is, well, freaked by this. Teela cautions her to stay focused, and go for the cup while Teela acts to distract the rest. Andra nods and slips back, awaiting her chance.
TEELA: “Yo, Trike! Traps! ‘Sup?
Teela removes her robe, revealing her disgustingly non-cybered up self.
TRAP-JAW: “Teela! You sully the sanctity of Snake Mountain! I mean, not even wearing an Apple Watch? Disgraceful!”
TEELA: “Whatevs, Trappy. I’m really just here to taunt you all with corny insults, and not because I’m trying to keep you from looking at anyone else but me or anything. I’m actually sort of with you guys on the whole tech-beats-magic thing, but I’m not going so far as to pray to The Holy Sprocket. And I certainly agree that Skeletor was a putz, but at least I fought against him unlike you chumps!”
Caliph Tri-Klops snaps his fingers and his robed minions start attacking Teela, who generally holds her own against them. An exciting battle takes place, but it’s ultimately just to burn screen time and show Teela being a badass. Teela and Andra get the goblet and escape Snake Mountain, much to the frustration of Rabbi Tri-Klops. Apparently there was only one goblet in all of Snake Mountain, and now Reverend Tri-Klops will have to find another.
End of Part 1 of 2.
Oddly enough, after 35 years my Stinkor figure is the only one that smells like a new toy. Just not the smell he was meant to have, but a kind of fresh plastic smell.
“fresh plastic smell”…
Like a pipe full of smoldering, hi-grade, meth ?
No, that’s a fresh ex smell.
The techno cult was so hamfisted. But we’ll always have the techno virus.
I liked Revelations and I also had pretty much all of the major He-Man toys when I was little. Fight me.
Push-ups at dawn, fat!
I’ll have you know I can reach double-digits now!
Look at Mr Healthy here! *starts coughing blood, has another vape downs another beer*
I can knock-out 20 or 25 pretty easily but thats about it.
A year or so ago I was intending to improve and did them daily, yet always struggled to break 30. Its like this aging body is reminding me of my limitations.
“aging body”
I’ll show you Aging Body!
You’re lucky, I’m too tired to get out of my chair but if I could I’d show you an aging body.
Even CornPop could whip my ass these days
Enough about Beach Bum…geesh you people are insensitive
35 mins……..time to go OT. I bought one of those press to chop things new in box at Goodwill for like 3 bucks. Makes dicing onions easy. Haven’t used the mandolin yet.
Don’t use the mandolin. Mandolins are evil and just want to flense your hand.
the mandolin is easily one of the best tools in the kitchen that no one should own.
Microplanes.
I love my Microplanes, and they will shred your skin if they touch them. They even have good customer service, I had one where the handle broke (at the plastic part), and they replaced it for free.
But they really are essential to a well-rounded bluegrass ensemble. /deliberately obtuse
My gf has mandolin gloves.
Me too. Tiny chain mail.
FP slicing disc then.
Evil mandolin
mainstream mandolin
Just last night my wife was complaining that ours was in storage.
Get a cut resistant glove. The operative word is cut resistant. And always use the guard with the mandolin.
I’ve used a mandolin before, just not this one. I’ve never worn a glove, because condoms are against Catholicism.
I can’t stand using the guard. For me it takes away detailed control; I prefer to just thoroughly concentrate on the task. The chain-mail gloves are awesome and I really like them when using the rotary deli slicer. The band-saw our meat dept. guys use terrifies me but the worst kitchen wounds I’ve ever gotten have been from the deceptively sharp, 12” serrated bread-knife.
https://www.breitbart.com/asia/2021/08/31/taliban-declare-war-is-over-claim-victory-from-kabul-airport-tarmac/
?
???
-1 Mission Accomplished banner. Are they that obtuse?
The story in the sidebar about China’s plans for Af’stan is especially interesting if accurate.
TL;DR – both are asshoe.
Well, they’re not wrong. We won the first war, and stupidly stuck around for a second.
And they control more of Afghanistan than when we started.
They won and it wasnt even close. When your enemy wastes trillions of dollars and gets absolutely zero accomplished you win.
FDA doesn’t have such a great track record:
https://prescriptiondrugs.procon.org/fda-approved-prescription-drugs-later-pulled-from-the-market/
But I’m sure they got it right on this Covid vaccine that was rushed through…
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E-Hq_VrUUAQXfnF?format=jpg&name=large
Ah, Seldane. Dried up a head cold real good.
Nothing to see here, move along
https://www.biopharmadive.com/news/marion-gruber-phil-krause-leaving-fda/605859/
Got bribed so well they dont need to work anymore.
I sincerely hope that’s it.
What an evil drug! It merged them into one person!
More than a few were removed because of misuse / abuse.
For a manufacturer if there are alternatives available it frequently makes sense to withdraw them.
Ah, Cylert, that’s a name from the past. I was in one of the NIH studies for using Cylert to treat ADHD, back in 4th grade.
Did it improve your drawing skills?
https://www.pennlive.com/coronavirus/2021/08/pennsylvania-to-mandate-masks-for-students-in-k-12-schools-child-care-centers.html
Child abuse.
Why do you hate grandmas?
Because they’re old and they smell.
Have you ever met my grandma?
No, but for some reason I picture her as being well-armed.
Let’s see, parents pushing school boards to not require masks, and sometimes succeeding, and the legislature saying “No” when he wants a mask order.
So, just bypass it all.
Let’s see how this works out for him this time.
I can see it coming. Webcams are not to covered so management chain can access and review video at any time. Already doing it with driver facing cameras in company owned vehicles. It’s all about being “accountable”. Fucking psychopaths who love the idea of being on a stage 24/7.
As someone who has to watch all the cameras, we don’t relish it either. Stop playing with yourself when that ad comes on!
I figured they hired folks who like watching others play with themselves.
Years ago at Smithfield Foods, they performed an annual review of expenses and noticed that they were spending tens of thousands more on phone services that years prior.
They dove into the records and found the increases all traced back to one extension for 976 phone calls in the middle of the night. They put a camera over the desk and lo and behold, captured one of the executives that usually worked late yanking it in somebody else’s office.
Wish I could have been there for that dismissal.
*zips, scans office for cameras*
I had to be at the firing of a manager who got caught looking at trannie porn during office hours. It was his 3rd strike with getting caught watching porn on his computer. Or, well, looking at it.
Uncomfortable does not begin to describe it.
Obligatory
I’m awaiting a one-on-one call with my mostly absentee boss. Planning to ask him Frank questions about the future of our department.
Not yet tipping my hand on impending resignation because I’d really like to get laid off instead.
Here’s hoping.
I don’t often say this to people, but I hope you get laid off.
I hope she gets laid, too.
HE, been meaning to say I’m sorry to hear you’re going to Vegas instead of Tucson.
If you would like some pointers on getting fired, I’m your guy. I’ve been fired 4 times, so I’ve got some experience on that front. The trick is to give them a reason to fire you, but not cause to fire you.
How long can your prospective employer wait for your answer or availability?
Be sure to show up to your meeting drunk or high. That will help your cause.
Drunk AND high. Works every time.
“cause” is exactly the word you don’t want in that conversation
You should get caught watching trannie porn. Rumor has it that will get you laid off.
That’s “for cause”, and means no severance package. The trick is to not cross that line.
What would be a good reason that is not “for cause” Asking for a friend and for myself.
Overall, generally being uncooperative and an irritation to the bosses. Much depends on what you do and who you work for. Somebody they won’t mind seeing the back of, but not somebody they are motivated to get rid of. You want your name to come to mind when they are sitting around the conference room talking about who to RIF.
If there isn’t some kind of layoff or RIF in the works, then there’s no getting laid off, only getting fired. The game is to get the package on your way out. If there’s no package, then who cares if you are “laid off” or “fired”.
Its kind of an art, really.
I am sure that the way to get laid off would be to charge too much overhear and not direct.
But I fear these guys have denied reality for so long that they aren’t going to have a RIF organized by the time I need to leave.
If you do get fired or there’s just no package in view, ask them “where’s the settlement and release agreement” at the meeting. If they ask what you mean, just say that you’re willing to negotiate a settlement and release rather than go to court.
Then just sit there, and stare at them. I find it helps to visualize visiting violence on people at this point in the negotiations. Keep a poker face, but I swear people can still subconsciously process a threat. My patented “Dead-Eyed Stare” technique; its brought many a difficult negotiation to a close.
Thanks, That won’t work for me. I’ve been a combination of bad attitude and insubordinate for a long time now. If it hasn’t worked by now through a number of different managers it’s not going to work.
Jerms, any updates on the golf cart accident?
At least, I think it was you that had the neighborhood kid fall off the back.
Yes the girl is getting better and has her neck brace off, but still getting headaches. Feel terrible she cant go into the water at the beach or pool for a while and doc wont let her play sports in the upcoming school year. Main thing is that there isnt any permanent brain damage. So overall good news but my wife and i still feel terrible that it happened on our watch.
And thank you for asking about it.
That is excellent news.
One thing I have learned defending medical malpractice cases, especially involving kids, is its never as bad as it looks at first.
Yes. Amen.
That is great news Jerms.
This is good news.
Unless your company is woke. Then it might get you a promotion.
*sigh*
Got so caught up in work that I managed to burn a pot of water (boil it away so that just the salts and other formerly dissolved solids are left in the pan and start to cook those…)
A couple years ago, I broke down and purchased an electric kettle. I’ve burned through the last 4 stovetop kettles (think glowing metal and liquified handles). Modern digital electrics are faster than the rangetop and shut off by themselves.
It was for cooking pasta. It’s been literal decades since I last boiled off a pan of water.
Heat water in kettle, pour into pan to continue boiling and cook.
Too much work.
Good modern digital lectrics are crazy fast but they draw insane wattage and thusly are unsuitable for camping. Might be fine for the houseboat though.
Indeed. One of the electricians on a location shoot explained to me that anything with a heating element like that is drawing at least 10w and should be on a separate circuit from my coffee machines.
1000W for my little 1L kettle?!
LOL… Amps, I misspoke; I meant 10 amps.
That’s their story: https://www.proctorsilex.com/1-liter-electric-kettle-with-boil-dry-protection-k2070ps
Some of them have 2000W, more power = faster hot water. It’s sweet.
My 800mL kettle is 1300W@100vac.
Why do coffee pot and tea kettle makers insist on a 5 oz. cup?
I want one. I see them on British and Australian cooking shows. I like how they use them to heat then put water in pan on stove.
We’ve owned an electric kettle since shortly after we were married; love those things. Like so many people I know, we bought our first ‘lectric after we boiled a pot dry accidentally. At least it wasn’t an aluminium pot — my Mom boiled hers dry and came into the kitchen to find an aluminium puddle where the pot used to be.
1875W is the maximum for an unburdened and fully-rated 15A domestic circuit; back in the Lower Rainland™, I installed a 20A split in the kitchen in case we wanted to move up to those schweet 2kW units. Then we moved. Sigh.
Ha one time last year I put a nasty sponge in boiling water like they tell you on the package.
Some unknown time later I was on a phone call with my boss when the smoke alarm went off.
I *still* haven’t found a decent replacement for the saucepan I ruined.
Democrat rules are good and holy and can never be rescinded. Republican rules are nasty things that are harmful to all good things and can and must be rescinded.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/u-judge-vacates-trump-water-234748203.html
Anybody in or near Copperas Cove, Texas? Is that a nice area? Is it oppressively hot and humid?
Northern edge of the Hill Country. Nice area, at least by my standards. Pretty much the same climate as DFW, so – hot in the summer, somewhat humid but not swamp-humid.
Not “oppressively ” so, but TX standards.
If you’re used to the mountains of UT or NM…
Ahhh…..the western edge of Ft. Hood.
And were I got married to ex Ms. TresCool.
Central tejas is hot with humidity that equals SW Ohio. But nothing like that mess on the coast.
Planning a trip ?
I was just thinking, summers in central Texas are not too different from Midwest summers.
Its the winters that are different.
Oh, its hotter there. And for much longer.
When I was stationed at Ft. Hood, I think I had the only car in the entire state that lacked a/c and limo tint.
That sun destroyed the interior.
The hottest I have ever been in my life was in Madison, WI. The temp was right around 100, but the humidity was just beyond oppressive due to some kind of front coming through. One of the top five most violent thunderstorms I’ve ever seen that evening.
Yeah, it definitely is hot longer, but day-to-day while its hot, I think its pretty comparable.
YM, as they say, MV.
I was just thinking, summers in central Texas are not too different from Midwest summers.
Ehh, I’m not so sure. Muggy and 90 is different from mostly dry and 100.
The biggest difference isn’t at the peak heat of the day. It’s during the evening. In the Midwest, it’s in the 70s before the sun is all the way down. Here in TX, I’ve played tennis at 9pm in 99 degree heat.
I don’t think I ever saw mostly dry and 100 in either Southern Wisconsin or DFW. I saw kinda humid to very humid in both, and temps above 90 routinely in both during the hot season. TX will get hotter by a few degrees (although I don’t recall DFW getting above 105), but at least in DFW, it tended to be a little less humid, is my recollection.
Its been a long time (for both), so . . . .
My ma lives there, and apparently just got married and shacked up with a neighbor so she has a vacant house and she really wants me closer (I haven’t laid eyes on her since 2005). My brother is just outside of Austin and I haven’t seen him since the mid-’90s.
Didnt you used to live in NO ?
If age doesnt make it unbearable, you’ll find it tolerable. When I look back on all the days we were detailed to cut grass in 103º and 70% humidity, I dont know how I managed. Other than I was 20 years old and just did what I was told.
This makes me proud to be from NJ. Local hospital at the cutting edge of
total surveillancefraud prevention:https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/vaccine-cards-are-being-forged-how-1-nj-hospital-is-fighting-back/ar-AANVYUd
*Sticks out chest, waves state flag*
So, I was looking at this and intending to snark upon it, but… check out carveouts for disabled vets, those who live in zipcodes with a high number of cannabis arrests, and those with any cannabis related convictions, or relatives with cannabis convictions. Anyone wanna help start Rockaway’s (or Hell, Alfred’s) very first retail weed shop?
https://cannabis.ny.gov/system/files/documents/2021/07/cannabismanagementfactsheet_social_equity_june16.pdf
I’ll be your Huckleberry. Got me a genuine conviction for possession from 1975. I knew that would come in handy someday.
And no one will address how absurd forging a vaccination card is or why it’s even happening.
It’s happening because those people are selfish and want to kill your grandmother duh
Just got done roasting a batch of chilies. Some poblanos, hatch, serranos and a few others. Tonight – green chili stew with the leftover smoked chicken I made.
Did you make enough for everybody?
It was about 4 lbs of chilies so….sure
That sounds amazing. I imagine that would play nice with a dollop of sour cream and a handful of any number of cheeses.
I just made my sirloin and sunny-sides. Cast iron skillet on high @ 2 minutes per side with a wee bit of butter and a sprinkle of salt and pepper; it came out perfectly rare. Topped with an herbed butter (herbs strained from a package of mixed olives). The comingling of butter, steak juice, and egg yolk was damn near orgasmic (at least if I correctly remember what those were like). Also, the horror of new carb-free experiment was the absence of anything properly starchy and absorbent to sop all of that goodness. Licking it off a rubber scraper is an unsatisfying substitute for a biscuit.
Yeah that sounds awesome too. Not sure if I am going with sour cream or crema. I like both, wife only likes sour cream. So why not both be available!
Teela removes her robe, revealing her disgustingly non-cybered up self.
Pics?
LOL So the pres is late again. All is well in the castle tonight m’lord.
Even though I am WFH..I have prescribed myself the drinking game on: 1 drink if Beau is mentioned. 1 drink for greatest achievement. 3 drinks for no Americans that didn’t want to leave were left behind.
You’re an asshole. I just opened 2 beers cause I want to play along.
*narrator* I am not really drinking….maybe.
That last one got prettied blowed up by Chris Cuomo interviewing an American who did try to leave and couldn’t. On CNN. Because, for some reason, CNN is poling on, it was a woman who has a house full of Afghan orphans, I guess. Sevceral of whom got disappeared on one of her failed attempts to get into the airport.
Work: We haven’t announced you have been selected yet and we haven’t notified other candidates
Me: Okay no worries
Work: But can you put out a bid for your position immediately?
Me: Uh…
Gosh darn it stupid threading fail.
I guess it adds the incompetency of the federal government though.
But can you put out a bid for your position immediately?
“You bet. As soon as the paperwork clears on my promotion.”
Well…he didn’t let that tidbit get in his way just now. Said we got out all that wanted out…easily and without any worries cause he had contingency plans and was ready for the eventuality of Taliban rule. Did I mention it was the greatest evacuation ever?
Oh and if he fires some general or anyone really, I will drink a whole bottle of vodka. #safebet
They have said repeatedly nobody is getting fired.
Of course, they also lie compulsively, so who knows?
Im guessing those candidates will be strongly encouraged to resign and/or step-down.
“Hey General- my friends at Boeing tell me that just made a sweet position that suits your particular skill-set. Just a thought.”
He should fire a bunch of generals just on principle. If a sport team has a losing season they get rid of the coaching staff whether it was really their fault or not. The same should apply here.
I think they don’t see the current Pentagon as a failure. Their main priorities for the Pentagon are to use the military for social justice experiments, and to “fundamentally transform” the military from a war-fighting operation to a more domestically-focussed security force. The current Pentagon is doing a bang-up job on what the administration actually cares about.
The botched Afghanistan withdrawal doesn’t even twitch the needle on their real priroities, so I don’t expect anyone to get fired.
42 minutes in, and he hasn’t yet said anything stupid. A new record.
And, here it comes…
The greatest airlift in history! lol, I think work is better than listening beyond that.
“We were ready”….uh what a gaslighting fucktard.
Nothing says “ready” like LARPing the fall of Saigon.
Laughed. Out. Loud.
Thank you for sitting through this… … show,
God just watched Biden bragging about how great of a job we did evacuating Afghanistan. Got out twice as many people as the experts figured they could!
Turns my stomach.
Plenty of random Afghanis got on those planes. I’m already seeing reports of people on various watch lists.
Not nearly enough Americans or green card holders, though. Funny that we can’t seem to get a number on those. The Taliban will winkle them out soon enough, and let us know, I’m sure.
Greater than Dunkirk, the Berlin Airlift and 9/11 NY evacuation all together you idiot. Get with the program.
He’s playing the ‘angry old man’ bit.
I doubt he knows what day it is.
And…by the way did you remember Trump? It was his fault! HIS HIS HIS!
We got 90% of the people out! And we will continue to arrange safe passage for the rest!
How ya gonna do that?
The magic beans we are going to trade for them.
The old fashioned way. Ransom.
And…taking claim for those that went there on their own volitions trying to get people out? Hahahaha ah….so so funny.
What I wouldnt give to see Biden have an aneurysm right now on camera.
Yeah the talking down and tough guy attitude is grating and sounds forced.
If you knew when you came into office that the Taliban was stronger than ever, then…oh never mind.
I wonder if the teleprompter include stage directions like (now raise hands- point at camera)
No way. They can’t risk him reading those out loud. I think something like that happened a couple of times already.
*points at reporter*
“Let’s see, you’re the first one I’m supposed to call on.”
Teds’s can link you to the play “Enter laughing”
Nah, Noises Off.
I like the version with Michael Caine.
Enter Laughing
https://youtu.be/E2FFyA8Qpkc?t=168
“Tollybahn” to me sounds like a German toll road.
Hey Mr. Taliban . . . .
Damn it. Obvious joke is obvious and I type too slow.
I don’t have the chops to redo the lyrics. But I bet someone around here does.
Blind Faith “Mr Fantasy” ?
Nah sounds like Hey Mr. Tally man tally me banana.
BOOM!
He dropped the Beau Bomb!
DRINK!
BOOM!!!!!
DAIN BRAMAGE runs in the family.
So I got 6 drinks out of that.
I walked away to to skin the chilies and he is still talking? Sounds like he keeps saying the same thing over and over…
What the fuck is he talking about? Is he recounting the past 20 years? He does understand that America wanted out but it was his execution that was what people are talking about? lol…
Its been my experience that when someone spends entirely too much time defending their action(s), they dont have any confidence in that action.
In short, they know they screwed up.
And like that, the mysterious hero that America didn’t ask for, but deserves, turns his back and vanishes into the dark recesses of hallowed halls.
I’m guessing they couldn’t wait until “prime time” for him to make this statement because that’s past his bedtime.
“Pssst…Mr. President- the Blue Plate special is nearly over at the diner. We need to leave.”
Where do the Golden Buckeyes go for the Early Bird Special now that The Barnsider is closed??
Bertke’s