The Spark: Chapter 1

by | Aug 12, 2021 | Fiction | 186 comments

“Mister Jefferts, what I would like to know is why the fuck El Uni – these fucking people, we know this isn’t a solo effort – blew up an empty building… in that particular shithole.” The President of the Progressive States of America held out a cigarette and one of the interns flitted by, lit it, and then disappeared. “It’s a bad habit I picked up in grad school,” she said wanly. Then she leaned in and with the hum and buzz of staff around them, so no one could hear.

“You were able to… you know… dress it up with some…uhhh…?” She paused and met Jefferts’ eyes. “Yes?”

He nodded, the top of his clean-shaven, black head showing briefly.

“Of course, Madame President.” His voice was deep and clear and had the slightest hint of some Caribbean accent… or was it African? He was only slightly taller than she was, but she was tall for a woman. She wondered if he was gay. “A terrible terrorist attack that killed at least a dozen Americans… by the time the final tally comes in. I suspect,” he deadpanned.

“Hm.” She stepped back. “Do you think this is related to my trip there in two weeks?”

“Madame President, that is what I would like to talk to you about.” He stepped closer to her and turned his back on the noise and crowd behind them. “We can’t rule out that possibility. I mean, first Baltimore, now this.”

She nodded in agreement.

“I hadn’t considered that…” She took a deep inhale and held it. She looked around.

Camp David was the Presidential retreat and she sure as hell needed a retreat. The election had gone mostly as planned, with the expected court challenges, the finger-pointing, some violence – the National Guard and military activation had worked out perfectly. Now came the consolidation.

“Ma’am, I’m also concerned-” and now he looked around at the staff bustling in every direction, the security with weapons at port arms – then leaned in closer and whispered, “that we might have a leak on our – your staff.” He waited a moment to give her a chance to process it. He continued, “The Chief of Staff sent me to survey your routes in EV City; I only included him, the Secret Service, and the Head of Citizen’s Justice. That building is right along the route.” He stepped back for a moment.

“Well… what are you saying, Jefferts?” The President took another drag and blew it upward.

“I do not say this lightly, ma’am, and perhaps I am being overcautious. But I would like to use this as an opportunity to perhaps test my theory, by conducting a bit of… an operational security test. We can never be too certain that this group – this El Unico – whatever it is, might not have sympathizers among our people. We need to be vigilant, ma’am.”

She tapped the ashes from her cigarette onto the floor. Someone will get that.

“Go on.”

“I suggest that we continue forward with the trip in two weeks to Detroit, but – I will give three new, unique, and different sets of travel plans to each of the three offices. I will have those routes monitored. Then we will wait and see. Perhaps nothing will come of it.”

“Which of the three plans will we use?” she asked.

“None, ma’am.” He scoffed. “We are dealing with a sophisticated enemy. This implicates your security and that of- of the whole movement.”

“You’re a tricky-” she almost slipped and said nigger, but caught herself, “-man, Jefferts. I like it.”

He smiled slightly. “Operational security is a serious business, Madame President.”

“I’m not going to have this election stolen from me, Jefferts. You understand that?” Her voice climbed in pitch. “Has the Chief been monitoring the lawsuits in Texas?”

“Of course, Madame President.” Jefferts folded his hands in front of his abdomen.

“Well…?” She prompted, exasperation leaking into her voice.

“We have… contingencies in place to deal-” Jefferts began.

She jabbed her finger in his face.

“I will not have some goddamn, racist fucking rednecks trying to subvert democracy and – and, and steal the Presidency from me,” and now she pointed at her own chest, “the people’s choice.” Her voice rose again, and some of the nearby staff lowered their voices and moved away in response. Jefferts’ eyes cut briefly to the side, though he never let his focus shift from her. She took another drag and then blew it out. “And I want that fucker, Unique-o or whoever is running this, I want his, her, their, xir, fucking balls in my hands, Jefferts.”

Jefferts nodded. “Of course, Madame President. We are working under the Chief’s direction on that right now.”

“The Chief says you came recommended because of your ability to get things done, Jefferts.” She stared at him and let the phrase hang for a moment.

Her demeanor softened.

“Does it bother you…” she began and he raised his eyebrows in response. “I mean, knowing that it’s some… group of disaffected white-boys,” she tripped on the word a bit. She had never used that word in her entire life. Most of her life had been spent passing off her heritage as Hispanic or Mediterranean in schools back east; until it had become such an asset to be part-black. She suddenly resented how commandingly black Jefferts was. “Not someone like us…” She continued and gestured with her eyes. “…That this Unique-o is some kind of white supremacist group?” she hissed the last.

He smiled coldly. “On the contrary, ma’am. It is what makes the sacrifices of the job worth it.”

She smiled and nodded, folding her arms after another drag. “Thank you, Jefferts.” She waved him away and he backed up, bowed slightly, and disappeared amid the bustle of her staff. She didn’t know anything about the guy, but he was one of those types that were always hanging around the edges of power – watching, waiting to be helpful, doing things that needed doing… but couldn’t be done by truly important people. She’d seen his kind again and again over the years. Kendrick always had a stable of fixers to get shit done; that’s exactly why he was where he was. That and his ability to raise money.

She mused about traitors in her own Cabinet. Of course there are, she tapped her ashes onto the floor again. There always are around all of the great leaders.

 

About The Author

Ozymandias

Ozymandias

Born poor, but raised well. Marine, helo pilot, judge advocate, lawyer, tech startup guy... wannabe writer. Lucky in love, laughing 'til the end.

186 Comments

  1. ron73440

    It’s always the racists.

  2. Ed Wuncler

    “You’re a tricky-” she almost slipped and said nigger, but caught herself, “-man, Jefferts. I like it.”

    If you get a Progressive angry enough, especially when you’re a “minority” who goes off the plantation, you’ll see a racist that would make Bull O’Connor proud.

    • Suthenboy

      Proud? You mean blush. The disgusting racism I see around us now is the worst I have seen in my life….and hell, I grew up in the Deep South and remember ‘whites only’ signs in stores, movie theaters and over water fountains. The shit I see now is just breath taking.

    • juris imprudent

      That streak runs deep, right back to the sources of Progressivism. Bury it all you want, it’s still there.

      • WTF

        They don’t even try hide it. “Black folks are too dumb to get government ID to vote!” “Minorities can’t succeed without the hand of government to help them!” Etc., etc.

      • Suthenboy

        I never got it and I still dont. When MLK said ‘content of their character’ that struck as true as the day is long for me, even if I had to see past his sympathies for communism. What is true is true whether you like it or not. I just dont get the racism thing and especially the Jew-hate. Really, WTF?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I just dont get the racism thing and especially the Jew-hate. Really, WTF?

        99% of the time, it’s people either externalizing their blame for their life sucking or people clearing the way to accumulate power.

      • Suthenboy

        The world is a hard, unforgiving place. It throws a lot of curve balls but in the end most people whose lives suck are that way because they make poor decisions. The vast majority of misery is self-inflicted.
        The two things people hate the most are truth and responsibility. It is easier to project responsibility onto others and pretend the world is what you wish it is.

        Imagine what world we would have if not for the cost of thugism and fantasy.

    • Penguin

      Pretty much. I read a news story once about some Hispanic troops back from Afghanistan. They were walking around the city and ran into some Antifa types who wanted to recruit them. When the Antifa goons realized it was a no sale, they laced into into them with a bunch of anti-Mexican/anti-Hispanic pejoratives. I believe ‘beaner’ was the kindest one they used out of those I read.

      Gellman and all that, but I believe it could happen.

      • limey

        Well yeah, the teefa goons who attacked KR were screaming the N word at him, and he’s not even black. It doesn’t take too much to peel back the pretense.

    • Hyperion

      “minority” who goes off the plantation”

      Martin Luther King Jr

      Ben Carson

      Larry Elder

      Just to name three of them uppity negroes

    • Gustave Lytton

      That’s Bull Connor (D-lifelong).

      • Ozymandias

        “The PARTIES SWITCHED!!!!”

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      To be fair, Progressives seem to have a pretty low opinion of just about anyone who isn’t a Prog.

  3. DEG

    There always are around all of the great leaders.

    Great leader. Heh.

  4. WTF

    I see SugarFree isn’t the only one with a pipeline into the inner workings of the Oval Office.

    Hey Ozy – I believe you said you might be getting involved in some litigation regarding vax mandates. If you are or will be doing any fund raising, please let us know, I would be happy to contribute.

    • Surly Knott

      +1

    • Ozymandias

      Thank you.
      Yes, I just had an interview with OAN that should air tomorrow. That may become part of my fundraising pitch deck. I’m reaching out to another former colleague who travels in the big dollar fundraising circles for the Washington Generals to see if there is interest. I can’t single-handedly defend all of the people contacting me. I’ve got a call with a group of mil members from one base who all want to hear what I have to say so we’re doing a giant zoom call ether tomorrow or next week, for example. But I do have some ideas about how to make the govt’s life miserable at scale – and I need a little cash, some enterprising web design folks, and to crank out a bunch of legal copy in a few weeks.

      IF I HAVE TO, I WILL SINGLE-HANDEDLY BRING THE NUREMBURG CODE BACK INTO VOGUE!!

      • WTF

        Cool, I am willing to contribute with the cash part to the extent I am able. This shit has to stop.

      • Sean

        That is awesome!!

        Go get ’em.

      • DEG

        Excellent!

      • Stillhunter

        Great to hear Ozy. I don’t have the skills to help and I’m not well off, but I’ll pitch in some fiat.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Wha?! Holy crud! Will look for you!

      • ron73440

        Do you know what time it will air?

        I want to make sure I catch it.

  5. Suthenboy

    “She mused about traitors in her own Cabinet.”

    Solzhenitsyn? – “The business leaders, local officials, academics and journalists that supported the Bolsheviks were all rounded up and shot. They never saw it coming.”

    That is paraphrased and perhaps misattributed.

    • Penguin

      That is paraphrased and perhaps misattributed.

      Well, it’s what happened. Misattributing the truth isn’t an insult.

      During the “New Summer of Love™” in Seattle last year, they made it clear that Liberals get the bullet too.

    • Tundra

      It’s basically the premise of Darkness at Noon.

      “Bravo. The Wolves devour one another.”

      Great book.

      • ron73440

        It’s basically the premise of Darkness at Noon.

        “Bravo. The Wolves devour one another.”

        Great book.

        Yes it is.

    • Penguin

      BTW, I really need to re-read Gulag Archipelago. I found an online shop with a used copy for $5, I just need to think of some other things to read so the shipping cost doesn’t make it so I could just go to the local Barnes & Noble and buy a new copy for $30.

      • Penguin

        And, just like that, Tundra gives me a rec.

        BTW, Tundra thx for the 60 Minutes Swine Flu YT link yesterday. I was asking about video DL apps late last night just for that vid. If there’s something that needs not to fall down the rabbit hole, that’s it.

      • Tundra

        You are very welcome. It was an insane video, especially the commercials at the end.

        Darkness is a short book, but full of Iron Law goodness. I think you’ll dig it.

      • Suthenboy

        Also: ‘One day in the life of Ivan Denisovich’.

        Be sure and get that one…and some Xanax. Or a pistol.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I think I made it 1/3 or more through that.

      • Suthenboy

        I slogged through the whole thing. Solzhenitsyn documented the worst depravity mankind is capable of. It takes stern stuff to read that. Worse still is this: https://www.amazon.com/Danzig-Baldaev-Drawings-Damon-Murray/dp/0956356249

        I see what the progs here are pushing for and I remember what my grandfather said; “Hell is having your dreams come true.”

      • juris imprudent

        That and the relation of hell and good intentions.

      • Penguin

        How do you not make it through that, Toxteth? It’s a pamphlet. It’s very good, but it’s not long at all, a novella . Unless it was an emotional read for you, then that’s understood.

      • Penguin

        Are you guys mixing up Gulag w/ Day in the Life? Gulag Archipelago is huge, and can be a slog at times. A Day in the Life is little more than a short story.

        Admittedly, my memory may be wanting, but I don’t think I’m that far off.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Ivan. Yeah, probably too depressing.

      • ron73440

        In the First Circle is another disturbing Gulag tale.

  6. Penguin

    Good story, Ozy

    • waffles

      Seconded, good stuff. Paired well with my sandwich.

      • Ozymandias

        “…with smoky afternotes, it pairs well with a merlot and roast beef.”

  7. Tundra

    Jefferts is a double-agent.

    Excellent chapter, Ozy!

    • Ozymandias

      *Waggles eyebrows*

    • juris imprudent

      Or Jefferts is a fall-guy – she already knew who planned and executed it, and it was under her orders!

      • Ozymandias

        I love how devious you all are.
        You’re all so much eviler than I could ever be. My life really has made me about as subtle as a rock through a window.

      • slumbrew

        My life really has made me about as subtle as a rock through a window.

        * sends Ozy a “Front Towards Enemy” t-shirt *

      • Ozymandias

        LOL.
        Oh shit, now I want one of those.
        I gotta get a tee that has just that exact print – no image of the claymore – just that text in that same exact font on the front of a shirt.
        I’m trying to remember what was on the other side… was there anything written on the concave side that could go on the back?

      • Ozymandias

        Bingo. Yes.
        (And man, they make a boom and f$%^ shit up, especially to kick off an ambush).

      • ron73440
      • Ozymandias

        Ehhhhh… I figured there would be tons like that already.
        I was looking for something that looked authentic AF, with the matching back text, too.
        It’s been a while since I’ve had or used one, but I remember the first time I ever looked at a real one being struck by what was on the back. I knew it was something suitably and “militarily” ridiculous.
        I’d like a shirt that matches. So those who know could get to relive that moment that I had when I first read it.

      • ron73440

        You never tried it?

        That stuff is GOOD!

      • juris imprudent

        If you’re not going to use the correct font, you might as well use Comic Sans (at least for the front).

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, be thankful I’m repulsed by power. I probably have an inner-demon that would rule in ways that would make SF blanch.

  8. Animal

    Interesting. I’ll be looking forward to the next installment.

    • Ozymandias

      Thank you, Mr. Animal!
      OT, Alaska question: Is Rainer Gun Store legit? It’s in Alaska but won’t take credit cards – only some gift card as payment called Vanilla Gift card. Says it’s available in local stores. Only online store that I can find that has the mag extender for my shiny new Beretta 1301. (She’s soooo pretty!)

      • Ozymandias

        I’m glad I have the GlibMind to keep me from getting fleeced on the reg.
        I am but a poor old man who remembers punch cards from high school and I no longer can keep up.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I remember those too. And stamps at Subway. The Vanilla gift card part caught my eye. Judging from the search results, quite a number of people went all the way.

      • Animal

        Yeah, I’d agree with that. I’ve seen them on lists of Anchorage gun stores but never bothered dropping in to see if it was a legit business address, mostly because they seem to sell all Tacticool stuff and, when I do go to the city which isn’t often, I know a guy down there that usually has some old Winchesters and a few neat old English doubles, which is more my thing.

        I’d steer clear. As Gustave said, that’s just too many red flags.

      • Suthenboy

        “…old Winchesters and a few neat old English doubles…”

        A brother from another mother?

      • Animal

        I wouldn’t rule it out.

      • Suthenboy

        “Sounds like it’s being run out of the back of van down by the river.”

        Heh.

  9. Tundra
    • db

      I think I posted last night about my colleagues in Jiangsu Province telling us about cases in that province, which is adjacent to Zhejiang Province (where Ningbo is) and Shanghai Province. They did mention an airport closure.

      • Tundra

        But it said in the article that there was one case. WTF?

        You know, I’m starting to think maybe we aren’t getting the whole story from our friends at the CCP and their scribes.

  10. db

    This is good stuff. It’s interesting that we’re only hearing about what’s going on inside “The Progressive States of America.” Wonder if that has retained all the territory of its predecessor. The uncertainty of what Unico is, and what it’s motive are says a lot. The first installment was told from the point of view of someone who I’m assuming is the original “Unico,” or at least close to the core of it.

    • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

      I’m stumping for “El Unico” to join forces with the even-more-mysterious Lathe of Heaven group.

      • Ozymandias

        Yes, I still love that name.

  11. Yusef drives a Kia

    Who’s the Chief? That’s what I want to know.
    Good stuff Ozy, keep it comin’!

    • Ozymandias

      Meet him in two chapters.

      /spoiler alert

  12. Nephilium

    OT: Any Columbus glibs interested in meeting up, I’ll either be staying down there a night, or passing through during the afternoon the weekend of the 21st. GenderTraitor helpfully put together a forum thread to discuss it.

    • Gender Traitor

      Likewise any other Miami Valley Glibs! Current plan is to have a Glib-together in Beavercreek Saturday afternoon or evening. More=Merrier!

  13. Not Adahn

    A different near-future dystopia set in the Untied States of America, for reading between chapters of Ozy’s

    https://unsongbook.com/

    • Not Adahn

      In retrospect, there had been omens and portents.

      (“We are now approaching lunar sunrise,” said William Anders, “and for all the people back on Earth, the crew of Apollo 8 has a message that we would like to send to you.”)

      Rivers flowed uphill. A new star was seen in the night sky. A butchered pig was found to have the word “OMEN” written on its liver in clearly visible letters.

      (“In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.”)

      Lightning struck in clear weather. Toads fell from the clouds. All ten thousand lakes in Minnesota turned to blood; scientists blamed “phytoplankton”.

      (“And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.”)

      A majestic golden eagle flew onto the Vatican balcony as Pope Paul VI was addressing the faithful. The bird gingerly removed the Pontiff’s glasses with its beak, then poked out his left eye before flying away with an awful shriek.

      (“And God called the light Day,” said Jim Lovell, “and the darkness He called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.”)

      A beached whale was found hundreds of miles inland. A baby was born with four eyes.

      (“And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.”)

      Pieces of paper with the word “OMEN” written on them fell from the clouds. A beached whale was seen in the night sky. Babies left unattended began to roll slowly, but unmistakeably, uphill.

      (“And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so. And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.”)

      One of the additional eyes on the four-eyed baby was discovered to be the left eye of Pope Paul VI, missing since the eagle incident. The provenance of the fourth eye was never determined.

      (“And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place,” said Frank Borman, “and let the dry land appear: and it was so.”)

      A series of very precise lightning strikes seared the word “OMEN” into the rust-red sand of the Sonora Desert; scientists blamed “phytoplankton”.

      (“And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.”)

      The New York Stock Exchange rose by perfect integer amounts eleven days in a row. An obstetrician published an article in an obscure medical journal claiming that the kicks of unborn children, interpreted as Morse Code, formed unspeakable and blood-curdling messages.

      (“And from the crew of Apollo 8, we close with good night, good luck, a Merry Christmas – and God bless all of – ” [sudden burst of static, then silence])

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Pretty interesting so far, thanks NA!

  14. Penguin

    Well, if anyone cares, I wound up gettting:
    One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
    Gulag Archipelago
    Darkness at Noon
    The Best of Roald Dahl (about as humorous as I could deal with after reading the other three). I went through Thriftbooks.com , which at least is not Amazon.

    Suthen & Ron73, I looked up In the First Circle and the tattoo book, they had them, but at B&N prices. As it is, I only paid less than $20. Good site, although limited. Still, not Amazon.

    • ron73440

      Enjoy?

      At least the Roald Dahl is entertaining as hell.

      • Penguin

        I love darkly funny.

      • limey

        Noot noot!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ❤️?!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Add to Reading List

        ?

      • Penguin

        Thx, Toxteth – great video (yours, not Slumbrew’s) I love popcorn.

      • limey

        Ha! I haven’t seen that for a few years. Mr. Ando is a fraud.

      • Not Adahn

        When I was trying to find the link to unsong, I stumbled across:

        http://unsong.org/

        which is apparently a London cabaret show based on the works of David Lynch.

      • limey

        Intredasting. Lynch stuff has always been big with hipsters. The Twin Peaks pop-up bar thing that happened a few years ago was apparently a huge (and expensive) disappointment. This looks like an interesting evening out, even though I personally don’t get the fascination with DL.

      • Not Adahn

        The guy has the appropriate attitude for a performer

        WILL SHOUT “FUCK” FOR MONEY.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Apropos of nothing except that it was the briefest Pingu I could find on short notice. Pingu should be better known in the States.

      • limey

        Set up a GFM for a Pingu awareness campaign.

      • Penguin

        Well… I agree

    • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

      I really like the ThriftBooks site, but sadly, their shipping charges to destinations outside of the U.S. makes them a lot less “thrift” and a lot more “Holy F*ck!”; I’d consider using them if it’s otherwise impossible to find anything they can get at any other place/site.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I do wish Media Mail were international.

      • Penguin

        Sorry BEAM, I wasn’t considering non-resident Glibs. I was impressed that their domestic limit for free shipping was $10.

        It would be so much easier if you guys didn’t have a commie government. Then again, it’d be a lot easier for us if we didn’t have one, too.

  15. Tres Cool

    Hey Suthen- WRT racism: I’ve taught my kid a very simple lesson. “There’s only 2 races on the planet that you need to be aware of. #1) Asshole. #2) Not-an-asshole. Just don’t be the former.”

    • limey

      Damn straight.

    • Hyperion

      +1000

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      “Nigger is an attitude, not a race”
      /old black Blues guitarist I knew

    • The Hyperbole

      So it’s the “do as I say not as I do” kind of advice.

      • Ownbestenemy

        A ghost!

  16. trshmnstr the terrible

    OT: Laughable ad for Levi jeans popped up on YouTube talking about all the damage that happens when you overconsume.

    First thought through my head? Fine! No more Levi jeans for me. (not that I would have bought them anyway)

    What kind of moron approved an ad that says “you buy too much shit” when advertising shit to buy?

    • Hyperion

      “What kind of moron approved an ad that says “you buy too much shit” when advertising shit to buy?”

      Wokesters?

      • Animal

        They cost a bit more, but you’re getting solid quality.

        I still prefer my old Key Imperial bib overalls for choring, but most of my other assorted clothing is Duluth Trading, from skivvies outwards.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        *snaps waistband on DT buck naked boxer briefs*

        I got some cheaper knockoffs, but they weren’t the same.

      • Gender Traitor

        ? Wearing DT capri jeans right now. ?

      • Gender Traitor

        Might have to wear the Armachillo undies tomorrow!

      • limey

        Built in cooling fan?

      • Ted S.

        Donald Trump sells capri pants?

      • R C Dean

        Plus they have the best commercials.

        + 1 angry beaver

        I like their stuff. I have their Armachilla underwear and white t-shirts for work, plus socks and a few other odds and ends. Their clothes tend to run a little heavy for Tucson.

      • Animal

        I can see how they would be a little heavy for Tucson. For Alaska, though, they’re perfect.

      • B.P.

        That’ll do.

  17. Mojeaux

    Good job, Ozy!

  18. Ownbestenemy

    I am convinced that the haphazard withdrawal from Afghanistan was orchestrated by the Military Machine to amplify exactly what we are seeing now to break the political will to continue the exit and rush back in.

    • Penguin

      The Political Industrial Complex rules us all. All hail The Pelosi! Hail the McConnell!

    • The Other Kevin

      I kind of expect some “big event” to happen there that “necessitates” another invasion. Just think of all the contractor loot.

  19. limey

    Please enjoy this article from 2015.

    Aside from the #libertarianmoment that involves a Japanese restaurant refusing service to a CCP official, there is also this sad nugget:

    The appeal of Japanese cuisine has been one factor in the recent rise in travelers from overseas coming to Japan. Earlier this month, the Japan National Tourism Organization said that the 1,526,000 tourist arrivals for March set a record.

    That record will likely fall again soon. For the 2020 Olympic Games in Tokyo, the government expects 25 million foreigners to arrive in Japan. By comparison, last year the figure stood at 13 million.

    LOL

    • Mojeaux

      Two local girls went to the Olympics (gymnasts). Their coach (who’d been to 4 Olympics) was like, “We were in our rooms the whole time. They [the girls] did not get the Olympic experience. It was sad [read: awful].”

      • limey

        Was he at Rio? The tabloid chatter coming out of the “village” was muito lascivo.

      • Mojeaux

        No idea which ones he was at.

      • grrizzly

        My mom used to tutor a bronze medalist at the Tokyo Olympics. She also knows her family. The girl is a cyclist. She was riding 60 km every day, traveled to various competitions around the world but had little time there for anything but practicing and competing.

    • Sensei

      Restaurants refusing gaijin isn’t completely uncommon in Japan.

      It’s not common in more urban areas and for fine dining in a city extremely rare. But here’s the rub. For something like this you’d generally go through your hotel concierge. You are unlikely to walk in and get a table and unless you can speak Japanese you aren’t getting a reservation over the phone.

      I never personally experienced this – all the restaurant staff have been unfailingly polite even without me speaking Japanese. I’m sure our Japan resident Glibs could speak to this much better.

      • ron73440

        Restaurants refusing gaijin isn’t completely uncommon in Japan.

        There was some of that in Okinawa, but it was more of a no military policy.

        When I lived there as a civilian, my Okinawan friends and I never had an issue.

      • grrizzly

        I remember when we showed up at a whale restaurant in Shibuya, the hostess wrote on a piece of paper WHALE. But once we nodded that this was exactly what we wanted we were let in.

      • Sensei

        Exactly.

        They don’t want to seat a bunch of clueless folk and cause embarrassment for the people unaware of the menu, the staff and the other customers.

        This way everyone saves face.

  20. grrizzly

    San Francisco to require proof of full vaccination against COVID-19 for indoor activities — 1:49 p.m.
    By The Associated Press

    San Francisco will require proof of full vaccination against COVID-19 for a number of indoor activities like visiting restaurants, bars and gyms.

    A city supervisor confirmed the new mandate shortly before Mayor London Breed was scheduled to hold a news conference Thursday. The San Francisco Chronicle reports that it will take effect Monday.

    The requirement is more stringent than the requirement announced by New York City Mayor Bill De Blasio last week. San Francisco will require proof of full vaccination for all customers and staff, while New York mandated proof of at least one shot for indoor activities.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Shoplifters were granted an exemption from what I hear.

    • Ownbestenemy

      On a more serious note… weren’t there reports that the spread of COVID from restaurants, bars and gyms negligible? Why just those places? Why isn’t anyone asking those questions?

      • Nephilium

        That sounds dangerously like spreading misinformation there prole…

      • waffles

        I think I was actively harmed from having read that disinformation. I am under attack!!!

      • ron73440

        That way they can claim it’s not a mandate, while still putting their boots on the necks of the unclean.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Can’t wait for the first stories to come out of a family being denied to eat somewhere, or a kid in desperate need of a bathroom…who am I kidding, they won’t run those stories.

      • R C Dean

        “Don’t be silly, Its not a mandate. Its a prohibition! Totes different.”

      • juris imprudent

        Ha, as if they discern whether the neck they are stepping on is clean or unclean.

      • R C Dean

        Restaurants, bars and gyms are targetted because of their earlier failed attempt to close everything “non-essential”. You remember, when they learned that in a highly itner-connected advanced economy, damn near everything is “essential”. About the only businesses they could keep off the essential list were restaurants, bars, gyms, and entertainment venues.

    • waffles

      Neat! I don’t understand it but it seems like people, especially people in SF and NYC, are just going to lay down and take it.

      • grrizzly

        Most of them got vaxxed. They are not inconvenienced.

      • Ownbestenemy

        71% will meet that requirement of full vaccinations, barring required boosters. So 30% seems to be the number that the government is okay with on keeping the boot with nationwide it seems.

    • Sensei

      Thanks to De Blasio’s diktats Anime NYC scheduled for November now requires both masks and vaccinations.

      I was actually quite surprised that the anime otaku were generally negative on both reading comments on the news story. I did not expect this.

      Of course I had no intention of going either…

    • R C Dean

      Jab Crow is here. Pushed, as is historically appropriate, by progressives.

    • Sean

      People gonna get stabbed.

    • Sean

      It’s all pointless anyway.

      Professor Andrew Pollard, who led the Oxford vaccine team, said it was clear that the Delta variant can still infect people who have been vaccinated, which made herd immunity impossible to reach, even with Britain’s high uptake.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, it’s going to be spread around and it’s never going anywhere, vaxxes or no. They need to drop the vaccination horseshit and work on therapeutics.

      • Ownbestenemy

        That type of talk will get you branded a heretic!

      • Sean

        Money shot:

        “We don’t have anything that will stop transmission, so I think we are in a situation where herd immunity is not a possibility, and I suspect the virus will throw up a new variant that is even better at infecting vaccinated individuals.”

        Emphasis added.

      • waffles

        Wow, can’t believe you’ve said that.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Treatment with available therapeutics, while not perfect, is preferable to waiting for the illness to reach the point where a ventilator is required. But the available therapeutics are cheap and unencumbered by patents, so can’t be endorsed. Once the favored companies develop new fast-tracked proprietary drugs, therapy will magically be the way to go.

  21. Sean
    • Ownbestenemy

      Followed up with this

      • Sean

        ?️‍?

  22. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    https://twitter.com/MSNBC/status/1425687009461477379

    “Libertarians aren’t buying the ‘freedom to be unvaccinated’ argument.”

    What’s so funny about the the people saying “if it saves one life” with the vaccine is that is literally the pro-life position in terms of abortion and if you don’t have bodily integrity to refuse a vaccine then how in the hell do you have bodily integrity to kill a baby? I await the mental gymnastics, each more ridiculous than the last, explaining how someone can hold both positions in their head.

    TL/DR: Koch world is legit cancer

    • wdalasio

      Oh, for f**k’s sake. They’re interviewing Ilya Somin as the voice of libertarianism. Yeah, the guy who argued at the Soho Forum that Biden was the libertarian choice in 2020.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Associated with Volokh Conspiracy? Or am I mixing it up?

      • wdalasio

        The same.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        “the guy who argued at the Soho Forum that Biden was the libertarian choice in 2020.”

        That’s pretty much in line with almost everyone who writes at Cato

      • wdalasio

        Yeah, pretty much the whole Koch-affiliated libertarian establishment have become sock puppets for the left at this point.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Hey, you’re back. And I don’t buy that libertarians aren’t buying the argument.

      • slumbrew

        I don’t buy that you don’t buy that libertarians aren’t buying the argument.

      • Animal

        Wait, are you buying that you don’t buy that Stinky doesn’t buy the argument? I don’t buy it.

      • Sean

        *waves $1 bill around*

      • R C Dean

        $20, same as downtown, bub.

      • Penguin

        libertarians aren’t. “Libertarians”? Who knows.

  23. wdalasio

    Great story. I’m enjoying the work. And depressingly plausible.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Whycome fans of socialism are so reluctant to move? Plenty of fine socialist destinations to choose from, and I’d contribute.to a GoFundMe dedicated to purchasing one-way tickets for these folks.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Bound to happen when it is being sold as “free shit paid for by fat cats”

  24. Ghostpatzer

    OK, I’m hooked. So far, this is pretty close to reality, except that IRL the occupant of the WH is not actually the one calling the shots.

  25. blackjack

    I got peremptorily challenged in the first round. It was a lemon law case for a BMW that the lady drove 87k miles. They were smart to kick me out. I can’t believe that A, it’s a federal case and B, it’s the first case heard in that court for over 16 months. Back to work tomorrow.

    • R C Dean

      Lawyers absolutely do not want subject matter experts on the jury. Juries are to be led by the hand, and are not to go following their own lead.

  26. Fourscore

    Thanks Ozy, intrigued, I am. Of course, I’m trying to identify the players with the reality show.

    I am surprised that people are surprised about what appears to be the next Afghan chapter. I think I read that book. The Monday morning Q-backs will be out to explain why things didn’t work out. Now we wait for the other shoe to drop in Iraq and Syria. Those interpreters and Afghan employees that believed they’d be taken care off by the US need to review the videos of the US Embassy in Saigon.