423 Comments

  1. PieInTheSky

    No matter the country, the US sucks at managing mass influxes of immigrants. – Just take a big empty state that no one really uses and put them there

      • AlexinCT

        Romania…

      • PieInTheSky

        Baja California Sur

      • UnCivilServant

        Too close. I’m going to stick with Namibia.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        That makes no sense in Spanish or English….

  2. UnCivilServant

    Morning Banjos.

    *stares at links*

    I’m going to sit this round out.

    • waffles

      I looked and went with the least depressing/concerning/maddening. Banjos pulled no punches this fine Tuesday.

  3. waffles

    Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio sentenced to nearly 6 months for burning BLM flag.

    Imagine how much he would have gotten for burning an American flag.

    • UnCivilServant

      The only question I have is this – was it someone else’s property?

      If so, why did he get moved to the front of the line when there’s so many more people from 2020 in need of prosecuting for burning other peoples’ property?

      • AlexinCT

        Because the mandarinate wants to make sure people that refuse to bend the knee gets the message…

        Dark times are ahead, and I am starting to feel that the only way these incompetent credentialed crime syndicate members will finally see the people have had enough is when the people start making them pay for fucking with the people this way.

      • waffles

        When you read a comment filled with unbridled optimism from AlexinCT that will be the sign of the end times and you will have only a short time to bug out to your retreat of choice.

      • AlexinCT

        I am optimistic that the right thing to do is teach our kids mandarin. That way they can address the people that will enslave them properly when the time comes and have an advantage over those that will be used as cattle and to do the work in the mines for the CCP.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Ni hao!

      • AlexinCT

        Gěi wǒ yīxiē pìgu biǎo zi!

      • waffles

        Give me butt whore?

      • AlexinCT

        Close, but use some more Ghetto slanging…

      • Gustave Lytton

        Work on your tones, TO’G!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Ahhh… xi xi (sp?).

        Can we go back 30+ years to when the Japanese were going to eat our lunch? Because I know a few Nipponese words. Hai, hai; bye.

      • waffles

        It belonged to a black church in DC.

      • Nephilium

        And wouldn’t restitution be a more appropriate punishment if it was someone else’s property?

      • Tonio

        BIPOCS nationwide will be traumatized for generations by this act of hatred, Neph.

      • Nephilium

        Say at least three generations? Or is that not enough?

      • DEG

        I see what you did there.

      • WTF

        Some people’s property is more equal than others.

      • rhywun

        Now you’re getting it.

      • Rat on a train

        “Mr. Tarrio has clearly — intentionally and proudly — crossed the line from peaceful protest and assembly to dangerous and potentially violent criminal conduct,” Cushenberry said, according to the AP.

      • Count Potato

        “Tarrio stole a BLM banner from the Asbury United Methodist Church and set it on fire at a nearby intersection in December, according to court documents. He was arrested on Dec. 12, 2021, when he was found with two high-capacity magazines before attending the Jan. 6, Trump rally in Washington.”

      • db

        OK, so legitimately he should be charged with theft and trespassing, and possibly something like creating a public nuisance and littering.

        The “speech” part of burning the flag and the possession of firearm magazines should, in a sane world, be sacrosanct under the FIRST TWO AMENDMENTS to the Constitution.

      • Bobarian LMD

        This right here.

        And the fact that they refuse to prosecute anyone on the other side of these protests for the exact same crimes means the other charges should be thrown out under the 14th Amendment.

      • Grumbletarian

        No, see, they accommodated his right to a speedy trial, see? Those other people were just expressing free speech, yup yup.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      In one of his last public events, Justice Scalia explained why he cast the deciding vote in the Johnson case, on the principal of a textual reading of the First Amendment. “If it were up to me, I would put in jail every sandal-wearing, scruffy-bearded weirdo who burns the American flag,” Scalia said at a November 2015 event in Philadelphia. “But I am not king.”

      https://constitutioncenter.org/interactive-constitution/blog/when-the-supreme-court-ruled-to-allow-american-flag-burning

      • Not Adahn

        From the ded thred, I was having a wee bit of a poke at the Scots for their capital being the size of Tulsa.

      • Not Adahn

        Honestly, that part of Trainspotting 2 where they go out to visit a grave in a freaking barrow field kind of blew my mind.

      • UnCivilServant

        They made a second one?

      • waffles

        I don’t recommend T2. Seemed kind of unnecessary and masturbatory.

      • Not Adahn

        I rather enjoyed it. It was totally unnecessary, and like masturbation, pleasant.

      • Nephilium

        In fairness, there was a sequel to Trainspotting in printed form first:

        Porno (link goes to wiki, SFW… as much as a link with the word Porno can be)

        A couple years after Trainspotting came out, and this book was released, there were rumors and rumblings that they wanted to make this movie about 20 years after Trainspotting, so that the characters would be appropriately aged up (though not really, because heroin is a hell of a drug).

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Haven’t seen T2 yet. Tspot film much better than novel, at least for non-Scots.

      • waffles

        Yeah the dialect in the novel was mostly incomprehensible to me.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        No Burns Night for you then, Waffles?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        (And i’ve heard it said that the film is more about E than H.)

      • Not Adahn

        Hey! Tulsa is pretty great. There is some wacky, whimsical stuff that only the newly hyper-wealthy (from the initial 1920s oil boom) could dream up. My brother works in one of the glorious art deco buildings that has secret tunnels and one-person elevators so that the founder of Phillips Petroleum wouldn’t have to expose himself to kidnappers.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Heh. Hadn’t heard of that. Haven’t been there but have some rellies (ancestors?) from there.

        Argh! “Principle”, you geniuses! ⬆️

      • Ted S.

        Some people *like* to expose themselves to kidnappers, or any people for that matter.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Or so you’ve heard?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Old Town (first pic) is where JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter. So Gothy; can’t think of anywhere else like it.

      • Tundra

        We visited the tea shop where she did a lot of her writing. The Elephant House.

        I had whisky.

        I loved Edinburgh. One of the coolest places I’ve ever set foot.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Oh aye.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I hear their hours are 10-6 most days. 😉

  4. PieInTheSky

    Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio sentenced to nearly 6 months for burning BLM flag. – destruction of property… tragicomic really

  5. Tres Cool

    whaddup doh’

    I amazed I can see the keyboard

    • PieInTheSky

      all three of them

  6. Yusef drives a Kia

    “Guns, drugs and Ballots”, Get me out of this.

    • Tonio

      +1 Warren Zevon

      • db

        You’ll see him sleeping at the convenience store
        High as a kite, gun in hand
        Stole some recall ballots and got fucked up last night.
        Ballots from Compton again

        a-hoo! Ballots from Lawndale!
        a-hoo!

        a-hoo! Ballots from Compton!
        a-hoo!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Well played

    • KSuellington

      He’s just an excitable boy.

  7. Not Adahn

    Majority of Cyber Ninjas audit team out sick with Covid, delivery of Audit report delayed.

    I cannot WAIT for the conspiracy theories about this.

    • UnCivilServant

      The CCP overlords unleashed a bat swarm on the auditors.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “We can’t stop here!”

      • AlexinCT

        Theta variant? Or the Omega one they had been keeping for when people really needed to be killed?

    • Banjos

      They’ll assume none of them are vaccinated because anyone right of Mao is not vaccinated in their batshit crazy minds, then imply they deserved to get sick, and then imply that they hope they die. Do you not Twitter?

      • waffles

        I keep trying to not Twitter but the bird app keeps sucking me in. It’s all “stare into the nightmare rectangle and watch the collapse of civilization” and I’m like “yes please”.

      • Not Adahn

        Do you not Twitter?

        Eeeew. Now I have to take a shower.

      • Not Adahn

        Out of morbid curiosity, what’s Ken White’s take on Tarrio being given prison time for flag-burning?

      • waffles

        I wish I never found out what an insane asshole popehat is.

      • Nephilium

        ‘member when Popehat was good on freedom of speech? I ‘member.

      • db

        seriously. I used to love reading him until he went publicly nuts

      • Count Potato

        Maybe it’s temporary? Andrew Sullivan lost his mind, and seems OK now.

      • waffles

        Doubtful. He gets a lot of public support for being an asshole in public. Twitter fandoms can really enhance and reinforce some terrible personality traits.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I followed Popehat for a while, but last I saw he was still all ate up with the TDS.

  8. Not Adahn

    Belgium Woman banned from zoo for having an “affair” with chimpanzee.

    At least in Fierce Creatures it was a gorilla.

    • Not Adahn

      Zoo officials said that the friendship between Timmermans and Chita has hurt the chimpanzee’s social status with the other chimpanzees.

      She must be an uggo.

      • PieInTheSky

        If that chimp is alpha enough it don’t take no shit from other chimps. Kick ass and reestablish social status

  9. The Late P Brooks

    “This court must respect the right of any citizen to peacefully assemble, protest, and make his or her views known on issues,” Cushenberry said, according to CNN. “But Mr. Tarrio’s conduct in these criminal cases vindicate none of these democratic values. Instead, Mr. Tarrio’s actions betrayed them.”

    “We believe in the first Amendment, but….”

    Let’s see- why not restitution for the destroyed property?

    As for the magazines, fuck off, slaver.

    • Rat on a train

      He could have thrown those at somebody. Have you ever been hit by a magazine? It could hurt.

  10. AlexinCT

    Belgium Woman banned from zoo for having an “affair” with chimpanzee.

    Does the zoo have a conjugal room? Cause otherwise it had to be all about finger-banging, which means the monkey was the patriarch…

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Ever hear Gilbert Gottfried’s theory about Sunset Blvd. and Norma Desmond’s chimp? Eh, never mind.

    • AlexinCT

      Jungle McNuggets!

  11. Not Adahn

    Authorities took the man into custody, and he was released on his own recognizance. Police do not know how he obtained the ballots or what his intent was.

    I’m sure he will be readily available to answer any questions that might arise.

    • AlexinCT

      They called the Clintons for “advice” on how to make the guy disappear…

    • Sean

      Crazy, right?

      Remember when guns & drugs together was a big deal?

      • db

        Remember when random stacks of ballots showing up in a car in a convenience store parking lot was a big deal?

        nah, me neither.

    • Rat on a train

      “The election ballots, they were un-tampered with, unopened, a little over 300 of them found, primarily from addresses in Lawndale,” Ponegalek said. “There were some from Compton. We’re still trying to figure out where all these belonged to at this time so we’re working with the Los Angeles (county) election office as well as the U.S. Postal Inspector.”

      “There’s nothing to indicate this was focused on the election,” the county registrar’s office said.

      Maybe he planned to put them up on Ebay as collector items of this historic event after the election.

    • DrOtto

      I’m just going to assume with the kid gloves treatment by both police and media, this was Hunter Biden.

      • db

        Yes, this was very good.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Torrance?

      Whatever became of the South Bay Glibs, anyway? (-EG)

  12. Fourscore

    It’s kids like little Johnny with his banjo that really piss me off. Why can’t he be a normal little troublemaker like my kids were?

    /Sarc

    Thanks, Miss Banjos, it’s kids like Johnny that give me hope.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Blessed by the holy priesthood

    Then-New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo released a statement Monday, before he left office, calling for all New York state employers to require Covid-19 vaccination after the FDA approved the Pfizer vaccine.

    “This morning’s announcement that the federal Food and Drug Administration has fully approved Pfizer’s COVID-19 vaccination eliminates any doubt in the science and efficacy of COVID vaccines,” Cuomo said.

    They said it. That means it’s true. Stop whining and take it.

    Thus spake the Party of SCIENCE!

    • Fourscore

      Good-bye, Andy, your wisdom will be missed. Like a toothache…

    • UnCivilServant

      Kathy should make her first action the recinding of all Andy’s mandates, just to spite him.

      • Jerms

        Sounds like she will be doing the exact opposite of that. Might be looking at more mandates for more of the state.

    • Rebel Scum

      eliminates any doubt in the science and efficacy of COVID vaccines

      No, it doesn’t.

      • UnCivilServant

        some bureaucrat signed a piece of fucking paper.

        Woopty fucking doo.

  14. AlexinCT

    I swear, it’s almost like they are trying to create a situation where Americans are going to be captured.

    I think the people making this statement are totally wrong. They are not hoping for the Taliban to take hostages, they are hoping they brutally kill people so they can use that as an excuse to ship another 150K troops to this shithole for another 20 years. The people in power are pissed, royally, that China is taking over their opium trade source, and that the whole tax payer lucre laundering racket is going up in smoke. Having to use just green energy and racist shit to steal money from tax payers is seriously going to hurt their racket.

    The country is run by a bunch of crime syndicates, and they are angry that the people keep fighting their wishes.

    • Not Adahn

      They are not hoping for the Taliban to take hostages

      Well, yeah. They learned their lesson from Carter.

    • Drake

      It is weird. The Brits and French are just driving around picking their people up and getting them out. We are doing a massive airlift of Afghans while leaving Americans to rot.

      Just another instance of our elite hating Americans more.than anyone else in the world?

  15. Rebel Scum

    Isn’t shit like this what got the Taliban to rage across Afghanistan to begin with?

    Well yes. But we figure that we have already dug the hole so far that we might as well keep digging.

  16. Tonio

    Regarding the Fifth Circuit ruling on Abortion. The Fifth Circuit has appellate jurisdiction over TX, LA, and MS, so this opinion is binding precedent for all federal courts in those states. SCOTUS will likely take this up given that unlimited abortion is one of the big goals of the left. But also expect LA and MS legislatures to enact similar legislation.

  17. db

    “California police find hundreds of recall ballots, guns and drugs inside sleeping mans car.”

    One gun, “some narcotics,” and over 300 recall election ballots that “were accounted for as being sent out to voters but not yet returned.”

    “There’s nothing to indicate this was focused on the election,” the county registrar’s office said. Officials said they intend to resend out the 300 ballots again.

    Sure, totally not focused on the election.

    • Nephilium

      Well we can’t count these ballots, we have duplicates of them!

      • rhywun

        Pinky-swear?

    • R C Dean

      Stealing mail is a federal felony. So they just cut loose a guy who committed 300 federal felonies?

      If I were the US Attorney, I’d be pissed.

      • Swiss Servator

        If you were a Biden appointed US Attorney, you just might not be all that angry…

      • DEG

        That’s why I think they’re Elder votes.

    • Grummun

      How did the guy come into possession of 300 ballots that had been “sent out,” presumably by US Mail? Either he stole them from mailboxes or was given them by a USPS employee. Either one should be a federal crime, no?

      • AlexinCT

        It’s only a crime if the authorities actually enforce it. These days the criminal system enforces (or doesn’t) the law only when it benefits the machine against the fucking rabble.

  18. db

    “Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio sentenced to nearly 6 months for burning BLM flag.”

    What was the actual charge of which he was convicted? Can’t remember the last time anyone was incarcerated for burning any type of flag.

    • UnCivilServant

      Well, it was someone else’s flag, so probably larceny, arson, hate crimes, wrongthink, and being associated with traditional values.

    • Not Adahn

      90 days for flag burning, 150 days for std cap mags.

    • Tonio

      Judge Harold L. Cushenberry of the D.C. Superior Court sentenced Tarrio to 90 days in prison for destruction of property and 150 days for possession of large-capacity magazines. Tarrio pleaded guilty on July 19, 2021, to both charges and will only have to serve 155 days in prison if he completes three years of probation, according to a press release.

      The magazines were the pretext. And it sounds like he was prosecuted under DC law.

  19. Festus

    Mornin’ Banjos! Damn that was a fine musical link! Do their parents keep them in a box and only let them out to play?

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Nation’s foremost blathering senile quack

    Dr. Anthony Fauci has admitted making his latest mistake in coronavirus guidance, this time over when he thinks the pandemic will come “under control” — apologizing by saying, “My bad.”

    The White House coronavirus czar had told NPR on Monday that if enough people get vaccinated the US could “really get some good control over this” by the fall or winter of next year.

    But quizzed on it by CNN’s Anderson Cooper later the same day, Fauci — who has been under fire repeatedly for flip-flopping on his public advice from the early days of the pandemic — said he actually thinks that control will come even sooner.

    “Anderson, I have to apologize. When I listened to the tape, I meant to say the spring of 2022, so I did misspeak,” he said.

    He insisted that if “the overwhelming majority of the 90 million people who have not been vaccinated” now get the shot “I hope we can get some good control in the spring of 2022.”

    What a sick joke.

    • db

      I read that as “…has admitted making his last mistake…”

      And I thought maybe he had resigned.

      dammit.

      • UnCivilServant

        Any remark he makes should be answered with “Resign, you odious little troll.”

      • db

        At this point, what does he actually do? He makes statements to the media, except none of them have any new useful information. He’s not leading an effort to improve treatment of the disease; he’s not pushing for better vaccines or actual studies that would convince more people that it’s safe and effective to take the ones that already exist.

        He just seems to keep saying the same things over and over again. It’s not working. If his goal is to reduce the impact of this disease on society (and it sure as hell should be) he is not doing anything new or particularly effective to accomplish this.

      • UnCivilServant

        He costs more than any other federal employee. His post needs to be dissolved and the buget items for his department destroyed.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        At least he got his voice somewhat fixed. Was brutal for a while.

      • Festus

        My fervent hope was that he fell into an open sewer drain.

    • Rebel Scum

      I hope we can get some good control in the spring of 2022.

      It’s just two weeks to flatten the curve, comrade. And you do not “control” a coronavirus. It is endemic. It is here forever now. Deal with it.

      • UnCivilServant

        You misunderstood. The control isn’t of the Coronavirus – it’s of plebs like you.

      • db

        For a long time I have assumed that this is how the common cold became “common.” It’s a coronavirus (actually a set of coronaviruses) and changes/mutates enough that it is impossible to develop “a” vaccine for.

        The way this has likely worked out in the past millenia is: new coronavirus mutates and infects people; the most vulnerable among the population die over the course of months/years; virus becomes endemic among the population whose immune systems can control it; decades or centuries later, lather, rinse, repeat.

        The “common” colds we deal with now are likely the lethal coronaviruses of the distant paths; we have just evolved to handle them. The efforts now to eliminate this particular virus, while well-intentioned, are doomed to failure and eventually the virus will take its toll, like all before it.

        Without a major advancement in vaccine technology well beyond what we have seen to date, coronaviruses will continue to do this for a very long time. The investment in fighting this particular one is tragically wasted. We will wish that someone had come up with a cure for “the common cold,” for eventually, that will be what tames coronaviruses in general.

        Just my ignorant, non-medica-professional thoughts.

      • db

        “distant *past*”

      • Surly Knott

        While there are a number of viruses that can cause the common cold, I believe it is predominantly a rhinovirus.

      • Surly Knott

        Rhinovirus, coronavirus, adenovirus, and enterovirus are the 4 most likely.

      • db

        Ah, yes, thank you for correcting me. I think that the past evolution of the colds probably follows the same pattern, regardless of the specific type of virus.

      • kinnath

        As I recall, rhinovirus causes about 2/3rds of the cases of common cold and coronavirus the other 1/3rd.

        So COVID is a super-cold and not a super-influenza.

        COVID will eventually become just another cause of the common cold.

    • waffles

      This is actually kind of difficult. *Sensible Chuckle*

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        20/24, I know them both well enough,

      • Festus

        Mine was Imipramine. Took it for a week, threw the rest into the river. It turned the fish Gay!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I hope that was quite some time ago. No reply necessary.

      • Festus

        1987, no hurt feelings Miss O’Grady.

  21. Rebel Scum

    A team coordinating privately chartered flights out of Afghanistan exclusively told the Daily Caller News Foundation that they’ve received no support from the Biden administration in trying to get Americans and vulnerable Afghans out of the country and that it’s been an ‘impediment’ to their efforts.

    If the current regime actually wanted to withdraw smoothly it would have been executing it throughout the time running up to the previously agree to date.

    Former Republican Virginia Congressman Scott Taylor described the lack of support from the administration as “frustrating” and “a massive fuck up.”

    I’d argue that the admin is aiding and abetting the enemy. I believe there is a constitutional provision that covers this.

    • Suthenboy

      Remember that Obama guy? He is still breathing free air.

    • WTF

      I believe there is a constitutional provision that covers this.

      Dude, that’s like 100 years old and written by white slave owners!

  22. The Late P Brooks

    that chicken is either retarded or suicidal.

    Are you trying to say there is a chicken somewhere which isn’t retarded?

    • Not Adahn

      Chickens are dinosaurs too stupid to go extinct when SMOD v1.0 hit.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I like it, saved for later,

      • Festus

        Chickens are evil. The only reasons that we like them is because they tasty and small enough to be no threat. I’ve seen chickens kill pretty much anything they want to if it is small enough. Chickens eat chicken scraps.

      • Pine_Tree

        Yeah, you can tell from the look in their little velociraptor eyes that if you passed out in the pen, they’d eat you.

  23. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda.

    Mad bomber learns to use the system.

    The militia leader who’s facing life in prison for master­minding the bombing of a Minnesota mosque now identifies as a woman, according to court documents.

    Emily Claire Hari — previously known as Michael Hari — is asking a judge to legally acknowledge her transgender identity. Hari, 50, says a combination of gender dysphoria and right-wing misinformation fueled her “inner conflict” during the time that she was convicted of bombing Dar Al-Farooq Islamic Center in Bloomington.

    “She strongly desired making a full transition but knew she would be ostracized from everyone and everything she knew,” Hari’s defense attorney, Shannon Elkins, wrote in court documents. “Thus, as she formed a ragtag group of freedom fighters or militia men and spoke of missions to Cuba and Venezuela, Ms. Hari secretly looked up ‘sex change,’ ‘transgender surgery,’ and ‘post-op transgender’ on the Internet. As she purchased military fatigues for their ‘missions’ she also purchased dresses and female clothing for a planned trip to Bangkok, Thailand, for male-to-female surgery. She was living a double life.”

    Elkins cites these as factors in asking U.S. District Judge Donovan Frank to give Hari no more than a 30-year prison sentence — the mandatory minimum for Hari’s conviction — and not the life term sought by prosecutors. She has also asked for an amended prison placement based on her transgender identity, but the details of the request are under seal. Elkins could not be reached for comment.

    I guess if I was looking at a long stint in prison, I’d try to do it at a women’s prison too.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Heh. Like the real-life Mad Bomber, the evil one was an electrician. I might need to reconsider getting that generator hooked up…

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        “Mad Bomber” evokes images of a black and white clad villain using cartoonish black bombs with the long fuzes ala Wile E Coyote.

        That or a C-list Adam West Batman villan.

    • AlexinCT

      He plans to get more ass than a toilet seat…

    • db

      that’s how you do it

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Have you ever been hit by a magazine? It could hurt.

    I have been swatted with a rolled up magazine. It stings.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Especially September Vogue.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Teen Vogue is into the anal, which really hurts.

    • Festus

      Hurts like hell if it’s Cosmopolitan. Those 70’s issues couldn’t even be rolled, just folded over. Get one of them on the top of your noggin and you’ll remember the lesson, whatever it was.

      • Festus

        Aw, not my original? I actually did get thrashed with a Cosmo when I was 13 or so.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Did you pee on the carpet?

      • db

        Wu?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Cocksuckah!

      • pistoffnick

        You have to pay extra for that

  25. Festus

    Gee, I wonder why our agreements with prideful, status-conscious patriarchal societies keep ending up pear-shaped. A dea’ls a deal, same as downtown you State Department lackwits.

    • UnCivilServant

      A deal is only a deal if the enforcement mechanism has teeth.

      • Festus

        White Man speak with forked-tongue!

  26. Rebel Scum

    Cyber Ninjas CEO Doug Logan and two other members of the five-person audit team are “quite sick,” and the full draft of their report will not be delivered on Monday as expected, Fann said in a statement.

    Uh huh…

    • The Hyperbole

      There’s never going to be a report, the Cyber Ninjas had no idea what they were doing and they know that as soon as they submitt their “findings” the grift is over.

  27. Rebel Scum

    “This court must respect the right of any citizen to peacefully assemble, protest, and make his or her views known on issues,” Cushenberry said, according to CNN. “But Mr. Tarrio’s conduct in these criminal cases vindicate none of these democratic values. Instead, Mr. Tarrio’s actions betrayed them.”

    Now do BLM/Antifa mass destruction of property and violence.

    • Rat on a train

      Charges dropped because their conduct was in support of Democratic values.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    “But again, there’s a big caveat there — this is a very wily virus,” he told the CNN host, warning that the timeline could easily change again even if everyone follows his advice.

    Our BEST. Our BRIGHTEST. One of the finest minds this great nation has to offer.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      ?

    • Suthenboy

      I think what he is saying is “This will never end.”

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Like the Common Cold? or the Flu? I need answers, I’m too stupid to figure this out,

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Bugger! momentito…

    • Drake

      So he got his (our) money’s worth out of those grants to Chinese labs?

    • Rebel Scum

      this is a very wily virus

      Goofy, inept and consistently thwarted by a roadrunner?

  29. Rebel Scum

    “The election ballots, they were un-tampered with, unopened, a little over 300 of them found, primarily from addresses in Lawndale,” Ponegalek added. “There were some from Compton. We’re still trying to figure out where all these belonged to at this time, so we’re working with the Los Angeles election office as well as the U.S. Postal Inspector.”

    “We will be turning them over to the DNC – uh – I mean destroying them promptly.”

  30. rhywun

    That dog is asshoe.

  31. Rebel Scum

    “I haven’t got anything else,” Timmermans said. “Why do they want to take that away?” she asked in her interview with ATV. “We’re having an affair, I’ll just say. Other dozens of visitors are allowed to make contact. Then why not me?”

    Luckily this turned out not to be what I thought based on the headline…

  32. Rebel Scum

    Are you threatening me?

    Taliban Won’t Extend Aug. 31 Deadline for US Withdrawal – Threatens Biden Regime, “Complete the Evacuations by Aug. 31 or Face Consequences”

    “Perhaps the US should not assume it is negotiating from a position of strength.” – China to Blinkin

    • UnCivilServant

      Time to start glassing Mainland China until the Maoist rebels surrender to the government in Taiwan.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        The CCP has some Glassmaking equipment too you know,
        And why should the Taliban do anything different? They control things now, well until the CCP comes in,

      • UnCivilServant

        Chinese knockoffs. And obviously the first target.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If they want to throw us out they can and will throw us out. As it stands now they hold the strong position and assuming this is a bluff would be beyond foolish.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    And what, one wonders, do the property owners say about this?

    Airbnb is planning to start housing 20,000 Afghan refugees around the world free of charge, the company’s CEO, Brian Chesky, said Tuesday.

    The refugees will be housed in properties listed on Airbnb’s platform and the stays will be funded by Airbnb, Chesky said on Twitter, without specifying exactly how much the company plans to spend on the commitment or how long refugees will be housed for.

    Sure. Stay as long as you like.

    • rhywun

      This sounds like a very stupid thing to do.

      Therefore it must be done.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        A thing must be done, and that is, in fact, a thing being done.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      One of my mom’s neighbors (R1) does that sometimes. Good thing for them that their dog is cute.

  34. PieInTheSky

    The campaign against OnlyFans is part of a larger project: it’s not about ending violence and abuse, and it’s not about sex negativity or controlling women (though that’s part of it)—it’s about fighting to establish a fundamentalist Christian nation

    https://twitter.com/melissagira/status/1429828800322445313

    Oh yes that eternal plan to establish a fundamentalist Christian nation sported by probably LESS THAN 5% OF Americans

    • UnCivilServant

      I donno. The marxists have been radicalizing me of late. I might just start going Deus Vult and slaughtering heathens and infidels.

      • waffles

        The problem with going deus vult is you never get good results unless everyone else is also going deus vult.

      • UnCivilServant

        I am not Martyr material.

      • Q Continuum

        Never go full deus vult?

    • Q Continuum

      IIRC, it was mostly Dems who supported the SESTA/FOSTA laws that wrecked a lot of sex work.

      • AlexinCT

        I thought porn forced women to do things for the patriarchy to beat off to, or some such shit…

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I’m a 5%er Ha!

    • Rat on a train

      So, in their conspiracy theories, Christians have seized control of international finance from Jews?

      • Nephilium

        So the Jews for Jesus are the real villains pulling the strings?

      • robc

        Messianic Jewish churches seem weird, but I guess they have a claim to being even more traditional than the Catholic Church.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      it’s about fighting to establish a fundamentalist Christian nation

      LOL. We’re too busy trying to figure out how to avoid collapsing from lack of congregational support in an increasingly hostile society to bother trying to pull the puppet strings.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    it’s about fighting to establish a fundamentalist Christian nation

    Of course it is.

  36. Rebel Scum

    Saying the quiet part out loud.

    BIDEN: “She [Kamala] happens to be in Asia for me right now, but that’s why we have a female Vice President of the United States of America, who’s gonna be, we’re gonna have some presidents pretty soon.”

    • Q Continuum

      I’m convinced they’re tanking all this on purpose as a pretense to get rid of Dementia Joe. Last week I predicted he’s gone by EOY, I might have to move up that time table.

      • Sean

        Late November?

      • Sean

        I still think Dr. Jill is gonna try to ride it out till he falls over.

      • Q Continuum

        Jilling off until she gets enough?

      • Pope Jimbo

        ^This^

        DR. Jill is riding under the radar, but she seems to be the one who is willing to ride Joe’s addled ass all the way to the coffin.

    • Festus

      Great. Like the late Roman Empire. “Four Emperors? Fuck that shit! Let’s try five! In the space of a year!”

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        At least Rome had Julius and Augustus, we get Milley and Vanilli, the lip synch Generals.

  37. Q Continuum

    Today’s debate topic: an exceptional dump is better than bad sex.

    Discuss.

    • waffles

      1000% The only reason one might prefer bad sex is that they need the acceptance and validation. Once you grow out of that awkwardness the dump is far more satisfying/better for health and self esteem.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Bad sex?

        WTF are you even talking about?

    • AlexinCT

      Why not have bad sex while taking an exceptional dump? Cleveland Steamers, Dirty Sanchezes, and Rufus Turners don’t just happen, yo…

      • Ghostpatzer

        “Cleveland Steamers”. How was this not chosen as the new name for a baseball team?

      • waffles

        There was just recently a Cleveland team searching for a name too. We live in the worst of all possible worlds.

      • Nephilium

        Sure… just rub more salt into that wound.

        But you can buy men’s roller derby team shirts to support the team that already has the name the baseball team selected.

      • robc

        I repeat myself:

        Cleveland Spiders. Yes, they were bad, but that was Cleveland’s team name in the National League from 1889-1899.

        In 1892 they did finish second in the National League behind the Boston Beaneaters.

        The Brooklyn Grooms finished 3rd.

      • Nephilium

        The Spiders name had quite a bit of local support. I’ve yet to meet someone who likes the Guardians name.

      • WTF

        I’ve yet to understand how naming your team the Indians is somehow insulting to Indians.

      • waffles

        Shhh, you trying to get scalped!?

      • AlexinCT

        Why are you not woking WTF? The fuckers that forced the change didn’t give a shit what the Indians thought about team names. My ex-football team actually changed its name, under pressure from some of the vilest and stupidest people you could imagine, despite the fact that an overwhelming majority of Native Americans though the team name honored them.

      • Agent Cooper

        I like Guardians because I like the local connection and the actual bridge/sculptures.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Too many Germans would be offended by a team name that is derogatory of their culture?

      • AlexinCT

        Scheisse….

      • WTF

        The Cleveland Sitzpinklers?

      • Bobarian LMD

        “Cleveland Steamers”. How was this not chosen as the new name for a baseball team?

        Because it is too close to the Browns and people might get confused?

    • Festus

      Bad sex is sweaty, unpleasant and generally uncomfortable with a modicum of satisfaction but at least with a good dump you never have to see the end result ever again. I’m pulling the lever for dump.

      • UnCivilServant

        *toilet backs up* *results of last activity return*

      • waffles

        Exceptional dumps never return.

    • kinnath

      What is this thing called “bad sex”?

      • Fourscore

        What is the thing called “sex”?

      • waffles

        It’s like gender except there’s only two of them.

  38. Rebel Scum

    China be trollin’.

    When you feel life is going nowhere, just think: with
    4 U.S. presidents
    20 years
    2 trillion dollars
    2,300 soldiers’ lives…
    the regime of Afghanistan changes from Taliban to… Taliban

    The chick is cute though.

    • PieInTheSky

      Stop fetishizing asian womexn you misogynist

  39. PieInTheSky

    Well the “fourth” fucking “wave” scare stories are starting round these parts. Apparently the % of deaths without comorbidity in increasing.

    • UnCivilServant

      “Last wave we had ten deaths, two without coborbidities. This wave we had four deaths, one without comorbidities. That’s a 25% increase in the percentage of non-comorbid deaths!”

      • WTF

        You must write copy for the AP!

      • UnCivilServant

        Nah, they don’t pay enough.

    • Grumbletarian

      Could that be due to the number of people with comorbidity has plummeted over the last year or so?

      • db

        You see, COVID is like a giant grizzly bear and a pack of dire wolves chasing the societal sleigh. Eventually you run out of people who run slower than you do. It’s science *and* literature. And art.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    You keep using that word…

    The Department of Education is preparing its Office of Civil Rights to investigate schools that have blocked school mask mandates and other efforts to try to keep students and educators safe from COVID-19.

    Republican-led states like Florida and Texas have imposed rules that say school districts can’t impose mask mandates; the Department of Education argues that this could lead to discrimination against some students who cannot attend school because it becomes unsafe for their health.

    “We are prepared to launch investigations with our Office for Civil Rights to ensure that all students have access to this fundamental right of education … We’re going to use our Office for Civil Rights to investigate any claims that come forward to make sure that students’ rights are kept,” Education Secretary Miguel Cardona told NBC’s Meet the Press on Sunday.

    Which part of the Bill of Rights covers the inalianable right to force others to collaborate in your delusional theatrics?

    • WTF

      Look fat, the constitution means whatever the courts say it means, I mean, everyone, the thing, we all know this!

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Say what you will about the mean tweeting orangeskin, this kind of stuff wouldn’t be happening under him. They’d have a point if mask wearing was forbidden but it isn’t.

    • Festus

      I don’t really understand the end-game here. Blind power and control? Vengeance against a perceived enemy? Panicking herds that feel safer in the middle of the stampede? Never mind. It’s all of the above. God help us.

    • Rebel Scum

      the Department of Education argues that this could lead to discrimination against some students who cannot attend school because it becomes unsafe for their health.

      Ron Deathsantis clearly wants your children to die, unlike the benevolent Democrats who want to inhibit their breathing and incubate bacteria on their faces.

  41. Tundra

    Good morning, Banjos!

    *reads lynx*

    Nope, the world didn’t change while I was asleep. It’s still retarded.

    I am grateful, however, for you and the rest of You People for making it better.

    Have a fantastic day, peeps!

  42. Ghostpatzer

    And the voice of reason in these troubled times is… Bill De Blasio?

    https://www.nj.com/opinion/2021/08/murphy-must-do-more-eliminate-the-testing-loophole-in-schools-editorial.html

    “After requiring proof of vaccination to enter most venues, he took another bold action on Monday, announcing a strict new vaccine requirement for school staff, without the option of instead submitting to weekly testing. Bravo, sir.”

    The Joseph Goebbels school of journalism is alive and well. When do I get my armband?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      TMITfuckingE

    • Rebel Scum

      he took another bold action on Monday

      Upped his Metamucil intake?

      • Plisade

        “bold” Ha! Was he under fire when he made that decision? Does he face the guillotine if he’s wrong? I doubt he’d be issuing such edicts sans an armed security detail.

      • Surly Knott

        He was trying to start a movement.

    • rhywun

      Puke.

  43. Count Potato

    “Kamala Harris discussed Christmas shopping and climate change but failed to mention the current crisis in Afghanistan during her major foreign policy speech on Monday.

    Harris, addressing a roundtable of business leaders before her speech, warned that climate change and the pandemic have contributed to supply chain issues, The New York Times reported, and suggested parents should consider getting Christmas presents now.

    ‘The stories that we are now hearing about the caution that if you want to have Christmas toys for your children, it might now be might be the time to start buying them, because the delay may be many, many months,’ she said.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9920843/Harris-offer-vision-Indo-Pacific-major-speech.html

    CWAA

    • Sean

      ‘The stories that we are now hearing about the caution that if you want to have Christmas toys for your children, it might now be might be the time to start buying them, because the delay may be many, many months,’ she said.”

      I read that as “moar lockdowns coming, bitches.”

      • Gustave Lytton

        Or, please please juice the economy with Black Friday level shopping before the economy plows into the ground.

      • B.P.

        I would ladle on a portion of, “By the time Christmas rolls around, your buying power will be inflated away.”

    • WTF

      It seems we are re-living the fall of the Roman Empire. Hopefully the sackings won’t happen until I’m already gone.

      • UnCivilServant

        We might just be seeing Crassus and the Parthians.

      • WTF

        So who is Caesar? I see Biden more as Flavius Honorius than Crassus.

      • UnCivilServant

        Someone we don’t see coming right now.

      • waffles

        I really think we can ride this out for another century before things really get bad for most people living at the center of the first world.

      • Rat on a train

        There were plenty of sackings last year. I haven’t kept up this year.

      • R C Dean

        The barbarians are already inside the gates.

      • db

        The barbarians *are coming from* inside the gates.

    • Plisade

      She speaks as surefooted as a teenager giving an oral report on something they’d only copied from Wikipedia minutes before.

      • Ted S.

        Doesn’t she have experience giving oral?

  44. The Late P Brooks

    “Mad Bomber” evokes images of a black and white clad villain using cartoonish black bombs with the long fuzes ala Wile E Coyote.

    Behold

    • UnCivilServant

      Is there anyone whose information isn’t already out there?

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      *snickers uncontrollably*

      Whelp, I’m guessing our highly confidential innovation tracking information is out there. I warned them to get the hell away from Power Apps, but “ooh shiny” won out.

    • R.J.

      The other day I was thinking about this. There has been so many data breach incidents I am pretty sure I have free credit monitoring until the year 3000. No doubt the government will make cheap credit monitoring a right, like health insurance.

    • Gustave Lytton

      She didn’t at her hair appointment a while back. Why would he suddenly think she cares now?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Funny how the truly finer clay don’t act that way, and v.v.

    • Rebel Scum

      Masks are for virtue-signaling and so that the “help” know their place.

  45. Rebel Scum

    SEA SNAKE SMITH?

    According to Oceana, Olive sea snakes live in coral reefs in the western Pacific Ocean, spanning from Australia to New Guinea. Sometimes reaching over six feet in length, these “highly venomous” snakes “actively [hunt] small to medium sized fishes and benthic invertebrates, including prawns and crabs.”

    “Though they only rarely bite people, their bites have been known to be fatal,” noted the organization.

    The new study, published in Scientific Reports last week, sheds light on the sometimes-strange behavior of these sea snakes. The serpents are known to instigate “unprovoked attacks” on humans, where the creatures “swim directly toward divers, sometimes wrapping coils around the diver’s limbs and biting.” However, after studying sea snake encounters in the Great Barrier Reef, researchers concluded these creatures weren’t, in fact, aiming to attack humans. Rather, the incidents were just part of the creatures’ confused attempts at finding a mate.

    • Bones

      Of course it’s Australian…

    • R.J.

      If this were true, I would have died at the age -4.

      • creech

        Or, if you hadn’t eaten any you’d be the guy at 135 years of age being interviewed on the Today Show telling our grandkids that booze and wild women were the key to a long life.

  46. Certified Public Asshat

    I have a case of breakthrough COVID and will be doing the show from home this week. I feel like shit but have confidence I'll be fine since I'm vaxxed. My position on removing almost all pandemic restrictions remains steadfastI explain here: https://t.co/m6mNSBrTUY— Saagar Enjeti (@esaagar) August 23, 2021

    The only thing keeping him alive is the vaccine.

  47. PieInTheSky

    “Wokeness is the best evidence for the existence of a single integrated transnational professional-managerial class in the Anglosphere.”

    “How is it that every elite institution in American life, from corporations to academia to media, all of a sudden all believe in the same narrow set of values?”

    “Feminization, in the literal demographic sense. Many of these institutions became majority-female (or close to it) very recently.”

    https://twitter.com/herandrews/status/1429922823301120002

    certainly a theory

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Agency capture via like hiring like, generally beginning with the HR department, is the answer.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Institutional capture I meant.

    • WTF

      It all started in 1920…

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ?

        In 1920 my GGM was saving her sorority sister from a fire. Quoted in paper as something along the lines of “Aw, shucks, weren’t nothing.”

        I take your point, though I don’t think it’s inherent to all females, if you reach them early enough.

      • l0b0t

        In 1920, my grandmother was out in the Georgia fields picking cotton. Being a girl of 10 years, she only had to pick a half-bale per day (her brothers had to pick a bale apiece) but, being a girl, she had to leave the field to help make lunch for the menfolk. Running off with my grandfather and his subsequent decision to join the fancy new Army Air Corps was the right choice. Talk of white or female privilege, to me, falls on deaf ears.

  48. db

    db’s Word Problem Corner:

    Joshua and Tyler are protesting in the city center. There are twenty-five buildings on each side of the street, each with approximately four panes of glass. The buildings are about thirty feet wide. If Joshua can throw one brick every fifteen seconds, and walk at about 1 mile per hour, how long will it take him to empty the bucket of twenty bricks that Tyler is carrying for him? Assuming Joshua achieves a hit probability of 60 percent on each independent throw, how many bricks will he need to complete one side of the street? If it takes Tyler thirty seconds to run back to his Mom’s Land Rover Discovery to pick up more bricks, and two minutes to bring a full bucket of bricks back to Joshua, how long will it take to complete one side of the street?

    For extra credit, plot out the most efficient path for Joshua to hit the most buildings on both sides of the street, given the assumption that Tyler will hyperextend his elbow after four return trips, after which his brick delivery rate will be cut in half.

    • UnCivilServant

      After the second brick they get shot by a rooftop Korean.

    • AlexinCT

      Not intersectional enough bro…

      Why no trans-racist shit happening to spice the story up?

  49. robc

    Baseball birthdays. Top two are HoFers Cal Ripken Jr and Harry Hooper.

    Brett Gardner, Tim Salmon, and Hank Gowdy round out the top 5.

    • Grumbletarian

      Coming up on the 25th anniversary of Cal breaking Gherig’s streak. That was one hell of a moment.

  50. Sensei

    Fauci’s new 2022 timeline for Covid fight could be a political disaster for Biden and Democrats

    The warning by the government’s top infectious diseases expert, Dr. Anthony Fauci, that the crisis won’t be under control until spring of next year — and even then, it will need most American vaccine skeptics to change their minds — came as a severe jolt to a weary nation.
    It also meant that Biden’s best-laid plans of triumphing over the pandemic and riding an economic wave into the campaign for congressional election results in November next year now look at risk.

    Yup – everybody thought we just get rid of OMB and we can get this right back under control. Same with all the violent crime, err peaceful protests. So at this point even CNN realizing the can of worms that was opened.

    • Nephilium

      American vaccine skeptics

      Seems to be missing a word or two in there. And why would people be skeptical about the Covid vaccination that’s requiring boosters every 6-8 months?

      • Akira

        And why would people be skeptical about the Covid vaccination that’s requiring boosters every 6-8 months?

        That makes the long-term plan (if there is one) even more absurd.

        They’re talking like we need over 90% vaccination to eradicate this thing (and they’re adamant that eradication is the only option). In many parts of the world, vaccination of that scale is going to be impossible. So what are they going to do, have that same 90%+ get not only the vaccine but the booster shot forever?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Eradication or masks and lockdowns forever. No third option. No fourth option either.

      • rhywun

        Not to mention close the borders forever.

        a severe jolt to a weary nation

        I think we’re rapidly approaching rolling-eyes territory in many parts of the nation.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Everybody?

      • R C Dean

        Everybody Who Matters, yes.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Has Fauci named his heir?

      I think it would be very damaging to the country if there isn’t a clean succession for the Emperor.

  51. Rebel Scum

    Aussie-land goes full Nazi.

    It will now be mandatory for people in NSW to sign-in to businesses and retail venues using the QR code system as health authorities crack down on the spread of COVID-19.

    The changes announced on June 30 will be in place from today with fines now applicable for businesses and patrons who fail to comply.

    People will also be required to check-in at outdoor gatherings, weddings and funeral services.

    Business owners are now required to ensure people can provide their contact details when they enter the premises including ensuring a QR code is displayed in a prominent location and asking to see a green tick on the Service NSW app once patrons register.

    If it is not possible for a person to check-in using their device, an occupier must have an alternate sign-in method at their premises.

    The business then has 12 hours to register those contact details with Service NSW.

    • Ozymandias

      I can instantly see a way to fuck with this whole system – No phone. No smartphone means no QR code, means “MIKE HUNT” and company should be making a reappearance in Australia.
      Now they’ve forced/co-opted businesses to be responsible for their totalitarianism by keeping lists and reporting on their fellow citizens. Totally not like Nazis, though.

      • Gustave Lytton

        inoffizieller Mitarbeiter

      • B.P.

        I recently acquired my first smart phone after about 20 years of using the same flip phone. I feel like a sucker.

  52. DEG

    Mornin’ Banjos.

    The Pentagon said in a Monday briefing that it will consider leaving American troops in Afghanistan past August 31, in consultation with President Biden and allies, but dismissed the idea of the U.S. military taking back Bagram Airfield to speed up evacuations.

    So…. shitshow.

    Shortly before 8 a.m. last Friday, an official at U.S. Central Command sent a searing wake-up call to colleagues: The sweltering Qatar air base where the Biden administration is housing thousands of Afghan evacuees was awash with loose feces and urine and a rat infestation, according to internal emails shared with Axios.

    But at least there are no kids in cages. Right? RIGHT?!?!?!

    “The election ballots, they were un-tampered with, unopened, a little over 300 of them found, primarily from addresses in Lawndale,” Ponegalek added. “There were some from Compton. We’re still trying to figure out where all these belonged to at this time, so we’re working with the Los Angeles election office as well as the U.S. Postal Inspector.”

    Compton. Elder votes?

    “I haven’t got anything else,” Timmermans said. “Why do they want to take that away?” she asked in her interview with ATV. “We’re having an affair, I’ll just say. Other dozens of visitors are allowed to make contact. Then why not me?”

    ?!?!?!?!?

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I have a bet with a bluish friend that we will still have troops in Afghanistan by 9/11 (I made the bet back in the spring).

      It’s a toss-up at this point.

  53. Sensei

    And for those Glibs who weren’t alive in the early 70s.

    GM ‘Buckle to Drive’ Seatbelt Requirement Coming to 2022 SUVs, Full-Size Trucks

    The standard feature will prevent the transmission from shifting out of Park unless the driver’s seatbelt is buckled.

    Good news is for now it is defeatable. It’s part of crippling features for “teen drivers”. Next year – who knows?

    • UnCivilServant

      Anything to stop you from sitting on the seatbelt rather than under it?

      • Sensei

        That’s what people did in the 70s.

        For those in the know you unplugged sensor under the seat. It had the bonus of also disabling the seatbelt alarm. The manufacturers were smart enough that the seat sensor worked on an open switch.

        Today the seat sensors also set airbag force and a bunch of other stuff.

    • waffles

      My 2014 subaru impreza had an annoying seatbelt alarm. Because I typically buckled my belt while exiting the parking lot it would go off and piss me off. I looked it up and there was a combination of button presses that disabled it. it involved holding a button while bucking and unbuckling the driver belt like 25 times. Weird but it worked. I think most car manufacturers have the good sense to provide debug menu stuff. I accidentally activated the nanny bs on a ford and could only remove it by tracking down the valet key. YMMV

      • Sensei

        Did the same with my Jeep. Multiple buckle and unbuckle sequence.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Because it is critical that I am fully buckled up before I back my boat down the launch for 40 ft after getting the boat ready.

      Will Ford or any other truck company be gutsy enough to run on the anti-nanny features of their trucks?

      • Ownbestenemy

        That is exactly what I was thinking. Once we get to the storage unit, I am in and out of the truck to make sure everything is lined up for parking our trailor. I am not buckling up while backing up at 2mph in an empty lot. What fucking nonsense.

      • tripacer

        My guess is that it will come in the form of a “temporary cancel button”, kind of like the “clutch safety switch cancel” switch that used to be in Toyotas. Push the button, and get 10 minutes of seatbelt freedom. Automatically cancels above 15 mph though.

  54. The Late P Brooks

    Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people, ch 6,722

    Brad and Holly began speaking with other residents on their cul-de-sac. One of them, Nancy Gardner, had learned from a friend in nearby Napa Valley about a new company called Pacaso that was buying houses in the area. The company was co-founded by a Napa resident, and it converts houses into LLCs. Pacaso then sells shares of these corporate houses to multiple investors. Nancy Googled Pacaso, and, sure enough, the house on their cul-de-sac was on its website. The company had named the house “Chardonnay” and was now selling investors the chance to buy a one-eighth share of it for $606,000.

    Pacaso was founded in October 2020 by Austin Allison and Spencer Rascoff, two former executives at Zillow. The company is based in San Francisco, and as is typical of tech startups in the Silicon Valley area, its founders tell a lofty story about their business that’s about more than just making money. The company says the motivation for the venture began when Austin and his wife, both based in Napa, bought a second home in Lake Tahoe. The night after they closed on the house, Austin says in a promotional video, he and his wife sat around a fire “thinking how appreciative we were to be second homeowners. And, from that moment, I’ve always been inspired about making the dream of second home ownership possible for more people.”

    To make second home ownership possible for more people — and, of course, make money — Pacaso uses a “fractional home ownership” model. They buy a house, lightly refurbish it, furnish it and then create an LLC for it. They then divvy up ownership of this corporatized house into eight fractions and sell those shares on their website.

    I hate them all. The smooth talking wizards who came up with the hokey timeshare-in-a-frilly-frock business model, and the torches-and-pitchforks idiots. California, man. It’s poison.

    • waffles

      Good news is you don’t have to burn it down, it’s already burning. I’m worried for Sierra-at-Tahoe. These trees are endangered by the caldor fire right now.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Fuck. Chuck McDowell and Wesley (“West Lake” as I always hear it in his drunken barfly voice) Financial will never go away now.

  55. UnCivilServant

    Teams has an ‘Emo’ emoji.

    How is this professional software?

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      It’s all built for the emotionally stunted departments like HR and outside sales.

      • UnCivilServant

        If they can’t be professional, fire the lot of them.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Your Sales uses Teams? They mostly seem to hang out in Yammer or Slack.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Our whole company switched over to slack, and sales is pissed that yammer is going away.

        I dunno who used teams. I tried it out, but there were some limitations that kept me from using it more frequently.

        All that said, the people using the ridiculous emojis and gifs in a professional context are invariable outside sales, HR, or comms.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I miss the easy use of Skype Business. Teams adds more crap, more clicking, and less functionality. There are some who like it as yet another document repository.

        I dislike the non standard emojis that MS created. I just want the standard rolling eyes ones so I can maintain a patina of professionalism.

      • PieInTheSky

        We now have webex but I preferred skype for business

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I hated Skype. Our deployment was unstable, I’d get booted mid conversation for no apparent reason. I like the asynchronous nature of Slack DMs, but despite “consolidating” on slack (with teams for telephony, one drive for file storage, Onenote for wikis, SharePoint for team sites, power apps for various applications, and a dozen other utilities for various other reasons), it’s still a fragmented work flow.

        All this cloud stuff is making the actual day to day work take twice as much effort. Whatever happened to having a network drive mapped and a couple of on prem apps and dbs?

      • UnCivilServant

        Whatever happened to having a network drive mapped and a couple of on prem apps and dbs?

        We have those too. And a samba gateway to hook the unix boxes into the cifs shares and move files about automagically in the background.

        Of course they only notice that part when it doesn’t work and complain to me (I wrote the script and set up the system. It works at least 99.999% of the time.)

      • Gustave Lytton

        But that’s no fun and no money for licensing. IT quietly replacing network drives and even local desktop with OneDrive underneath.

        My biggest dislikes with the Teams calls is the inability to change the ring length or easily IM the person back when I’m already talking on a non Teams phone.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t know why your people would be making such a mistake. We have so much trouble from the software we don’t want the hassle of it. We’ve got plenty of on-prem storage.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Make life easier for our contract IT support. And the “promise” that you can drop in another PC without needing to reimage and copy everything over, easier access to user data for…discovery compliance, and once it’s switched, funding will have to coughed up or the user folders no workie.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I don’t know why your people would be making such a mistake.

        ??????

  56. The Other Kevin

    I see one of the vaccines was approved by the FDA this weekend. I guess that settles it. The FDA has a stellar track record for determining if things are safe and have any long term effects. My FB was already alight with “Ok it’s safe so now you can get your vaccine!”

    I did notice they approved it for age 16 and up. I wonder how the “all kids should get vaccinated” crowd is going to react to that.

    • UnCivilServant

      Like pedos? “Stick it in them anyway”

    • Certified Public Asshat

      The 5 people who were hung up on FDA approval can be vaxxed now. For everyone else who was not hanging their hat on the FDA, punishments will begin.

      • The Other Kevin

        This. I think it’s going to be, “Your last good reason is gone, now get the shot or we’ll hold you down and give it to you.”

      • Tundra

        Even worse, you will simply be denied access to life. That’s what is so disheartening about this whole thing – the first mandate is the most difficult to achieve. After that it’s just slavish obedience.

        Game over.

      • AlexinCT

        In the old totalitarian implementations, the master class used camps to get rid of the undesirables. Unfortunately for the new masters, using camps would be a dead giveaway (see Australia), so they invented the next best thing: cancelation. If you are denied the ability to participate in society or earn a living, most people will react the same way that those that feared camps in the olden days would: compliance.

        The communists might not have given up on their fantasies of Utopia (meaning hell on earth) and are still threading water in rich nations, but the fascists sure as hell won the collectivist war on humanity by rebooting the system with all the older faults now well hidden.

    • robc

      On the one hand, The FDA shouldn’t exist.

      On the other hand, If they do exist, the approval process should be easier and faster.

      On the gripping hand, this stinks of politics, passing it to avoid Nuremburg defenses.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Is the liability shield still in place?

      • Rat on a train

        The special liability immunity was for emergency use. Now that it is approved, it gets a regular liability immunity.

      • DEG

        I think so. The dates back to a Federal law passed in the 70s or 80s and has nothing to do with EUA/full approval as far as I know.

      • db

        Out of sheer contrarianism, if I’m forced to get one of the vaccines, I will now insist on one that is *NOT* approved by FDA.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Oh, I’ll insist on formal approval from the Afghan FDA. Say what you want, but I trust the Taliban a lot more than our govt. Sure I don’t agree with much of what they stand for, but they are pretty honest about their intentions.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I’m holding out for novavax, then I will need another excuse.

      • robc

        I think only Pfizer approved? I had Moderna, so I still am off the FDA-grid.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Forced medical procedures, which to me is both forced vaccination or forced swabbing, is still unethical.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Now that the FDA has certified the vax, that means that the emergency liability shield is gone. Right?

      I mean it has been approved by the FDA, so all normal liability laws are back in force.

    • Sensei

      Just noticed this:

      No off-label prescribing COVID-19 vaccines to kids under 12: FDA

      The Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine won full FDA approval on Monday for individuals 16 years and up, and in May the shot saw expanded emergency approval for use among adolescents ages 12-15. Children ages 8 and older may become eligible for vaccinations by September, sources previously told Fox News.

  57. The Late P Brooks

    Business owners are now required to ensure people can provide their contact details when they enter the premises including ensuring a QR code is displayed in a prominent location and asking to see a green tick on the Service NSW app once patrons register.

    If it is not possible for a person to check-in using their device, an occupier must have an alternate sign-in method at their premises.

    The business then has 12 hours to register those contact details with Service NSW.

    RFID ear tags, duh. Numeric tattoos are so last century.

  58. Festus

    Whelp I’m out, Glibbies! 24 hours is quite enough for this bumpkin. Stupid fucking truck.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Buona notte! Keep us posted about work.

  59. The Late P Brooks

    The standard feature will prevent the transmission from shifting out of Park unless the driver’s seatbelt is buckled.

    You should have to sign a loyalty oath to DEMOCRACY! and SCIENCE! before the car will even start.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Go to junkyard, get male hookup from wrecked truck, connect, done

      • db

        Wait until the seat belt buckles have embedded RFID tags that have to be matched to the vehicle VIN.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Might as well pair them with the airbag. That way shops can really make some money.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Look if I’m going to partake in male hookups, I’m going to do it right. Fancy dinner, good booze, expensive hotel.

        You be you though. I’m not judging if asssex in a wrecked car is your thing, it is your thing.

  60. The Late P Brooks

    On the gripping hand, this stinks of politics, passing it to avoid Nuremburg defenses.

    At least Mengele was competent.

  61. The Late P Brooks

    Totally not like Nazis, though.

    “We’re only trying to help you. Stop sniveling.”

  62. R.J.

    Strange. My Avatar vanished. I just restored it.

    • AlexinCT

      Avatars are like assholes…

      All people have one, and most of them…..

  63. The Late P Brooks

    Tighten your grip

    New Zealand on Tuesday recorded its highest increase in COVID-19 cases since April 2020, as authorities warned this current outbreak of the highly infectious Delta variant of the coronavirus was like dealing with a whole new virus.

    The South Pacific nation’s virus-free run since February ended last week after an outbreak of the Delta variant erupted in Auckland, New Zealand’s largest city, and quickly spread to the capital Wellington.

    Authorities reported 41 new COVID-19 cases on Tuesday, taking the total infections in the country to 148, the Director General of Health Ashley Bloomfield said at a news conference. That was the biggest increase in cases since April 10, 2020, according to data from the Ministry of Health.

    Of the new cases, 38 are in Auckland and three are in Wellington. So far, eight people associated with the current outbreak are in hospital, the ministry said.

    “Delta is unlike our previous experience. It is, as we know, highly infectious and transmissible and, as we have seen, spreads rapidly,” Bloomfield said at a news conference.

    ——-

    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has garnered global praise for stamping out COVID-19 in the country.

    By morons, maybe.

    Go ahead. Pretend it can be “stamped out”. See where that takes you. Spoiler alert: it’s a bumpy road, downhill all the way.

    • rhywun

      By morons, maybe.

      And tyrant wanna-bes.

  64. The Late P Brooks

    Political SCIENCE! ch 5,003

    DeSantis said school districts like Palm Beach County are “anti-science” for not recognizing “immunity conferred through prior infection,” referring to the notion that students previously infected with COVID-19 have a certain level of immunity to the virus.

    “If a kid was infected this summer, that kid does not need to be in a mask, no matter what you think of the mask,” DeSantis said. “That has immunity. And so, if you’re not recognizing that basic, clear scientific fact at this point, that shows you that this is more political.”

    But muh FEELZ!

    • rhywun

      I wonder how long “immunity conferred through prior infection” lasts. I doubt it’s forever.

      If DeSantis had slightly bigger balls he could just say that “science” tells us that masks don’t do anything.

      • UnCivilServant

        Having had it and knowing that even I am healthy enough to fight off Wuhan, despite being a fat bastard, I’d rather face the virus again.

      • R C Dean

        I doubt it’s forever.

        As near as I can tell, it is forever provided the pathogen is stable. Viruses can mutate out from under any immunity. And seem to have an easier time with artifical (vaccine) immunity.

      • robc

        Also, it was noted early on that people who had recently had OTHER coronaviruses had some level of immunity. Which is why young kids seem mostly immune, as they go thru a whole slew of minor viruses in relatively short order.

      • Gustave Lytton

        It’s a bit more nuanced that that. Depends on how long the B and T memory cells last as well. Some vaccinations/recovery last effectively for lifetime, others not as long. Aging can also change the response of existing response and development of memory in the first place.

      • Gustave Lytton

        *change the effectiveness of existing response

    • Ed Wuncler

      DeSantis is probably a swarmy politician but fuck, if he gets the Left in a rage like he’s been doing then maybe I can close my eyes and vote for this jabroni if he runs for President. If Trump was smart and and wasn’t an egomaniac, he would be smart to endorse this guy instead of trying to run again.

      • Penguin

        I’ve been wondering if Trump was going to ask him to get on the ticket for 2024. I think Trump’s too egotistical not to run, and DeSantis has already said he wouldn’t if Trump was running, displaying some loyalty (and probably also the realization that Trump would be too strong a candidate).

  65. Gustave Lytton

    https://kval.com/newsletter/employees-at-mercy-medical-cheer-as-national-guard-members-arrive-with-reinforcements

    More pandemic theatre. If they’re so understaffed and slammed, why would they be able to line the sidewalks with employees to welcome the guard. Police shutting the intersection. Give me a break. And the bullshit about filling critical roles and helping nurses. You’re unskilled labor. Why isn’t the hospital able to fill unskilled labor positions… gee it’s a mystery.

    • rhywun

      Maybe stop firing the unbeliever outcasts.

      • Gustave Lytton

        They haven’t done that. Yet. Buddy’s wife works at a hospital (not that one). If they haven’t reporting full completion, they’ve been issued lay-off notices. Starting 9/1, they go to unpaid status. No sick time, no entitlement time allowed. If they don’t get vaccinated by the end of the month, they’re gone. Union represented and it signed off on the plan.

      • UnCivilServant

        Sounds like they need to organize and strike against the union.

      • Gustave Lytton

        This is why organizations and individual managers aren’t always opposed to unions. They can be a useful way to deal with employees without getting your hands dirty.

    • rhywun

      Dayum if I was younger and had my current income, I’d do that in a second.

      • Sensei

        Would not be a fun commute to Jersey City!

      • rhywun

        Nah, if I’m a private eye I can dump that stupid IT job.

      • R C Dean

        Yeah, but, New York.

    • Tulip

      I could be persuaded.

    • Penguin

      Don’t you have to be racist to live there?

  66. Rebel Scum

    Meanwhile, in Portland.

    GRAPHIC video: @PortlandPolice are asking for help in identifying the person who shot a man dead who was trying to break up a female teen fight. The brazen murder happened on 20 Aug. at the 500 block of SE 92nd. Witnesses fled before police arrived. Case no. 21-231670.

  67. robc

    My former company’s stock price since laying me off

    Initial spike on the news I was gone, followed by a crash when they realized what they lost.

    Okay, I am sure I had nothing to do with it, but it makes me feel good, in a petty kind of way.

    • UnCivilServant

      “Website blocked.”

      So… their stock was delisted?

      • robc

        It was imgur. I removed all identifying information.

      • UnCivilServant

        I know.

        Work proxy just blocks Imgur, so I was cracking a joke.

    • Penguin

      There’s a good reason why schadenfreude is pretty well recognized among English speakers. (And also in the spell check).

  68. UnCivilServant

    Can anyone tell me why legal briefs have three inch margins all around?

    • robc

      Place to write notes?

      Or more likely, to prevent losing anything if copying.

      Or some crazy historical reasoning involving binding.

    • R C Dean

      The ones I see have between 1.00″ to 1.50″ margins. 3.00″ margins would be really weird – the text would be 2.50″ wide and 5.00″ long.

      At one time, appellate briefs (or at least SCOTUS briefs and likely others) had to be printed, like, at a printer. The courts established standards – font size, margin, line spacing, etc. – and really, who can blame them, since there’s no telling what kind of illegible crap they would get otherwise.

      • UnCivilServant

        It certainly feels like the text takes up that tiny amount of space. I get needing standards, but more than half the page is blank.

      • Sensei

        Plus a nice barrier to entry for anyone who isn’t a guild member.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        The USPTO’s PTAB saw issues when they established insufficient standards and then instituted page limits. Hello size 6 font, single spaced. Once they fixed that and instituted a word limit, in came the acronyms.

      • Penguin

        Don’t want to read briefs in Comic Sans or Papyrus?

  69. The Late P Brooks

    As near as I can tell, it is forever provided the pathogen is stable. Viruses can mutate out from under any immunity. And seem to have an easier time with artifical (vaccine) immunity.

    Don’t they(!) say previous infection leaves a “blueprint” for production of antibodies if needed again? So a lack of antibodies does not necessarily mean they cannot be produced as needed.

    • R C Dean

      That used to be the science. Now, Teh Science apparently says recovery just happens, by pure luck the viruse gets bored and moves on, and no immunity is created.

  70. Suthenboy

    Funny comment seen elsewhere – I was going to donate blood today but they ask too many questions, Like “Whose blood is this and where did you get it?”

    • Gender Traitor

      “Did you pack it yourself? Did you leave it unattended at any point?”

      • UnCivilServant

        “What do you mean this isn’t the vampire food bank?”

  71. R.J.

    “Why is it in a bucket!!?!”