GlibFit 4.0 – What Motivates You to Work Out?

by | Sep 5, 2021 | GlibFit | 362 comments

I’m back motherf***ers. Thanks to Westernsloper for his unexpected guest spot last week. It was fun reading someone else’s column through my bloodshot eyes.

Being that it’s Labor Day weekend, many (all?) of you are enjoying yourselves and drinking to excess. When it’s all over, some of you are going to ask what you need to do to get back in shape. Well… you’ll ask after your hangover subsides.

This seems like a good time to discuss what motivates you to workout. I’m broadly defining workout. It can be anything that get’s you off your ass and gets your heart pumping. Sports, lifting weights, walking, running, biking, jumping rope, skateboarding, and so forth all count.

One sciencey article posits, “Motivation to be active is quite a complex equation and involves numerous factors that influence our behaviour. Things like age, general health, our environment, genetic factors, education level, ethnic origin, weight, stress, and social support all affect our motivation to exercise. Our perception of exercise can also affect our willingness to be active. Things like the perceived effort involved or our confidence in our ability to be physically active (behavioural control) and our ideas about being active in a specific situation (self-efficacy) all contribute to our decision to exercise.”

I’m somewhat skeptical education and ethnic origin affect a person’s motivation. The rest of it seems plausible.

Personally, my motivation is multifaceted. Working out first thing in the morning gives me a feeling of accomplishment I haven’t found anywhere else. There is no missing the stress reduction I get through the rest of my day. Even trials and other assorted court hearings are more manageable when I worked out. There is something in the back of my mind telling me that even if the hearing goes to shit, I still got my workout in. No one can take that away from me.

I swear my thinking is clearer and sharper when I work out. I can’t accurately describe what’s happening, but I have the feeling my mental performance is better than it is when I’m sedentary.

Vanity plays a minor role in motivating me. Feeling good about myself when I look in the mirror matters. Finding my jeans are a little loose or I need a more fitted shirt strokes my ego and reminds me the effort is worth it.

As I’m getting older, the health benefits also matter to me. In my line of work I regularly learn why someone died. I also hear stories of loved ones who were in decline, often for years, before they died. Every time I hear a story about some preventable disease, I just think there is no way I’m going to allow that to happen to me. I would rather run at high noon in the summer than have uncontrolled diabetes. If dementia can be reduced or warded off through exercise, then I’m all in.

So Gliberati, put down your drink for a moment and let us know what motivates you to workout.

This week’s music. I’ll just add it seems appropriate for this weekend. I’ll also add a preemptive “fuck you, MikeS.” It’s a good song.

Weekly cuteness.

About The Author

Chafed

Chafed

I'm looking California but feeling Minnesota

362 Comments

  1. DEG

    Being that it’s Labor Day weekend, many (all?) of you are enjoying yourselves and drinking to excess.

    The local brewpub has its Oktoberfest on tap. I enjoyed some last night.

  2. DEG

    What motivates me?

    Despite being invisible to hot women my gym, the scenery. Better health. Being stronger. Better conditioning.

    Weight is up: 264.8 lbs. Waist measurement is the same as last June.

    Some things seen at the gym this last week:

    A guy squatting almost literally ass-to-grass. His butt just about touched the ground, and there was no evidence of a butt-wink. On the other hand, given how he was treating equipment, I had to wonder if he was intentionally trying to break some equipment. He also took up multiple power racks during the time when the power rack area is at its busiest.

    A female trainer squatted, with good depth and good back position, 205 lbs for multiple reps. She’s really short and I’d be surprised if she weighs more than 120 lbs.

    Instead of asking me if anyone was using the cable station next to the one I was using, a guy stood there watching me as I rested between sets of tricep work. When I finished my rest and starting working again, he jumped on the cable station next to me. The trainer I work with was using the station next to me to have another of his clients superset face pulls after rowing. The trainer was working with the client on rows while I was resting. Later I mentioned to the trainer that the guy was watching me while I rested instead of asking me what stations were being used, and the trainer said, “Seriously? WTF?”

    • hayeksplosives

      That is amusing. I pictured it. You’re a decent storyteller.

    • Tundra

      He also took up multiple power racks during the time when the power rack area is at its busiest.

      Even at my old GloboGym people got called out for that shit.

      • DEG

        One time I arrived at the gym and went over to the power rack area.

        There were two free. I claimed one.

        I saw the guy come up. There’s only one free. He looked lost.

        I smiled inside.

  3. Tundra

    Chafed!

    Welcome back my brother!

    My reasons for working out are multifaceted as well, but they distill down to one thing: I never want to say no to an adventure because i’m too out of shape.

    So I walk, I lift, I sprint, I hike, I drink a lot of beer. Oh well, always room for improvement, right?

    Thanks for doing these. I really find them inspirational!

    • Chafed

      Thanks for the encouragement and your reasons Tundra. As I’m aging, I think yours is the right philosophy.

  4. Ghostpatzer

    Motivation?

    Mrs. Patzer: “Did you finish those chores, sweetie?”

    Me: “Um, I’ll get right on that as soon as I’m done with that two-mile walk”.

  5. DEG

    NSFW: This Oglaf is kinda apropos I think.

  6. Jerms

    Im in the gym just about every weekday. Its almost and OCD thing now where i need to get a workout in to feel good mentally.
    Also, i wouldnt wind being a little fat, and i dont mind being bald, but i dont want to be both and god chose one of those for me already.

    • Chafed

      ?

    • robodruid

      Yep.
      What a great way to celebrate 9/11 by executing some Americans for waging an immoral war on the Taliban.

    • Chafed

      Jimmy Carter, Part 2

    • db

      404 error

  7. Drake

    Many motivations – some Chafed mentioned. Burning stress, feeling healthy and strong. I still want to be dangerous enough to protect my family.

    Heart problems have sidelined and killed men in my family. I want to be around and active for at least a couple more decades. I want to be able to cool shit with my grandkids.

  8. Ozymandias

    I swear my thinking is clearer and sharper when I work out. I can’t accurately describe what’s happening, but I have the feeling my mental performance is better than it is when I’m sedentary.

    It’s reasonably well-established that this isn’t just your “feelings.” Try reading Dr. John Ratey’s book “Spark.” He studies and expounds on the benefits to the brain for children, but it’s just as true for adults. We learn better after we’ve worked out, stimulate hormones that help neural pathways in the brain, etc.
    It’s a… [pulls off glasses] No-Brainer.

    • Chafed

      Thanks Ozy.

    • Lackadaisical

      Yup, your mind proceeds from your body, so it shouldn’t be as surprising at it first seems that a healthy body helps you have a healthy mind.

      I sometimes wonder to what extent the amount of mental health issues in this country is from (or at least exacerbated by) extended bouts of inactivity.

  9. Ozymandias

    Speaking of which, I mowed and edged, but now I’m going downstairs to clean off our gym equipment and get our in-home gym all set-up now that the painters are done.
    Time to start the hard work that landed me the missus in the first place. I’m getting too soft and squishy.

  10. IRBE

    Hi Chafed , You’re back baby! Strong showing. While hiking this morning weather was a little foggy or fmoggy; which kept things cuul and brisk, like iced tea.

    G-fit update: Sleep was just OK…trouble staying asleep. Food was protein, ribs yesterday, ribs today..different species. Hike mileage was up this week since I got some extra mileage on Friday; 38 miles. Wim Hoff/meditative “ancient man” techniques; Did 2 times/couple of cold swims. Weight down to 172. 48 hr fast was easiest in months..could have gone longer. Went into it with a good meal, ended fast with surf and turf; easy transition.

    Goals: Meeting goal weight range max (175-170). Still not dead from Covid…MB;MC

    My motivation for fitness is to be as free of chronic pain so I can continue to do activities important to me. Secondly to stave off aging. Lastly is vanity.

    I am going to do some archery at the range near my house. Have a happy!

    To live better, fat adapt, skip a meal or three!

  11. anti pro state

    My motivation, same as every living thing: survival. I already ticked the reproduction box, so I’ve got a duty to stick around until the brood reach adulthood.

    That all being said, I’m stalling about 10 lbs over ideal (for me) but have dropped almost 20 from peak. Bought a power tower for dips and chin ups. I’m working toward at least 1 heart, 1 fat burning, and 2 whole body strength workouts per week. Time is tight, what’s new?

  12. Toxteth O'Grady

    OT: Chafed, I feel I should know already what area you practice, but I don’t. I have a few ranked guesses, since you mention trials. ‘S cool if you would rather not specify here.

  13. SandMan

    My main motivation in the summer is/was to get in shape for archery elk season, but the last 2 years have been tough. Usually start out spring/summer around 210+, with goal of 195-200 by September. Normally hike 1.5 hrs up mountain behind my house, ~800 ft climb, eventually with 20-30 lb pack, about 3 times a week. But I’ve just been out of gas, turning 65 didn’t help. Might have averaged one hike a week, no extra weight, stuck at 210 all summer, crap. Easy to find excuses, some good (smoke!), some not. I did manage to finally loose a few pounds last week while out hunting, but that’s not the plan, definitely sucked carrying the extra weight.

    • Chafed

      The good news is you are still the most interesting man in the world.

      • SandMan

        I’d trade being a being a little less interesting if I could lose 20 lbs.

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        I’d trade being a being a little less interesting if I could lose 20 lbs years.

        FTFY.

      • DEG

        Why not both?

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        Touché.

  14. Grumbletarian

    Working out first thing in the morning gives me a feeling of accomplishment I haven’t found anywhere else. There is no missing the stress reduction I get through the rest of my day.

    Interesting. Over my life I have had jobs that almost always started pretty early in the morning — current one started at 0530. I usually come home tired and unwilling to engage in strenuous activity. My promotion to management also involves moving to second shift for the first time ever, but I’ve always been a morning person, so I expect to continue waking up close to the crack of dawn. A morning workout regimen sounds intriguing.

    • Chafed

      I am not a morning person. Working out first thing did not come naturally. But once I started the advantages became obvious.

    • blackjack

      I gave up a good bit of cash to get away from second shift. My kid’s young and I just never saw him. He was at school when I woke up and asleep when I got home. I get up at 4:00 am everyday, now. Used to do OT just because it didn’t matter if I got home at 1:00 or 3:00. But yeah, I am exhausted when I get home. I leave at 5:30 am and get home at 5:15 pm.

  15. deadhead

    Almost all of my running is physically fun. There are some exceptions, but I need no motivation to do something that is physically fun, improves my health and helps me think.

    Even my running that’s not physically fun is typically fun in some other way, so I just mentally prepare myself for whatever that type of fun will be.

    I bike at a leisurely pace. As such, it’s more relaxing than it is fun. I don’t really need to be motivated to ride my bike; it’s just built into my Sunday schedule.

    The only exercise that I do that requires motivation is my core work which I do on Tuesdays and Thursdays. My motivation is a desire to continue making progress.

    • Chafed

      ?

    • deadhead

      I was thinking about posting that link, but I got distracted by one or more beers.

    • Spudalicious

      That was interesting.

    • westernsloper

      Preach it!

    • Animal

      Leave me out of this.

  16. Sean

    I just replaced two pleated shades. Does that count as working out?

    Bonus points for spackling the old holes?

    • Spudalicious

      Was there sanding involved?

      • Sean

        None required.

      • Spudalicious

        Then, no.

      • commodious spittoon

        Orbital sander isn’t a workout.

        Now, huffing muriatic acid while stripping paint, that’s just a good time.

    • DEG

      Bonus points for spackling the old holes?

      These euphemisms.

      • DEG

        🙂

        My previous doctor had a picture up on the wall of him and Tommy Makem.

        My previous doctor said that in all the years he had that picture up, I was the only person to recognize Tommy Makem.

    • Ghostpatzer

      It’s been a lean year for the Eastern Tigers here, have only seen a handful. Probably due to climate change.

      • UnCivilServant

        Sifting through my photos it looks like there was one male and one female around the flowers when I was taking pictures. (I remember there being two of each type flitting about as I tried to get a clear picture, Have not had positive identification on the sexes of the spicebushes)

    • UnCivilServant

      I’ve since added a picture of a Rainbow Trout in a cave.

      Yes the lighting is odd, it was a cave, the only light on that fish was my camera flash, and the water did interesting things to the light.

      • Sean

        Neat pic.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Nice, looks like one of those creatures found in deep ocean trenches.

      • UnCivilServant

        The funny thing is, that is all the lighting and not the fish. The rainbow trout would die out if not restocked and fed by humans. They had originally been released to see if they could find an exit from the cave, but they stuck around the humans who kept throwing food in the water for them, so now the cave operators just keep the lake stocked with ~250 of them, getting replacements from a nearby hatchery. So it’s a normal trout under that odd lighting.

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        Love the caustics!

    • Plinker762

      The sunspere comment was a Simpsons reference. I would have linked an appropriate video but the computer I was using doesn’t have monocle installed

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I got it immediately. I nearly even mentioned that Andy Williams was on PBS that night. Aw, fiddlesticks.

      • UnCivilServant

        On the way out of the hotel we did see a gold-colored glove above Knoxville that was not the sun itself.

        It was entirely incidedntal – the roads around the hotel are one-way and the only way out went past a spot where just that sphre was visible over the buildings nearby.

      • Not Adahn

        The Golden Gloves headquarters?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I didn’t know it was still standing, or even a real thing.

    • PutridMeat

      Be sure to post pictures when you photograph the elusive Pussycat Swallowtail…

      • UnCivilServant

        Look, I only photograph what gets in front of the lens, and I only post the least bad pictures from that.

      • PutridMeat

        But if you can get one, we may be able to get off the Island!

  17. LCDR_Fish

    Weight is finally going down – appetite decreasing slowly (maybe due to meds). Shot in my ass seems to have had some good effects re seating. I’ll give it a couple weeks and try the rowing machine and exercise bike when I get back from my vacation.

    https://twitter.com/FishLikesFlicks/status/1434614674188906502?s=19

    Also for Nephilium or anyone else – we’ve discussed this before but I never save the text. In terms of cleaning/prepping growlers – unused for over a year – I’ve got oxiclean. Should I rinse them out first, then add the oxi and fill with hot water for a few min before rinsing and air drying – or a different process?

    • Nephilium

      There’s several different processes you can take. Assuming they’re clean and dry to begin with (no mold, poor odors, or discoloration) a hot water rinse should be fine (I rinse until the growler itself is hot to the touch). If you’ve got any of the indicators of contamination, then I would hit them up with some OxyClean free and hot water, let them sit for 20 minutes, then do 2-4 rinses to clean it out.

      If you really want to rinse well, your local homebrew shop should have a rinser you can pick up for about $10. I don’t use it for full cleaning, but it’s great for rinsing.

  18. Nephilium

    For me, the motivation is to fit back into the clothes I used to be able to fit into, as well as being able to do longer rides. I still need to get my first century ride (100 miles) in, I’ve already done several 66+ and 75+ mile rides in, just haven’t hit that mark yet. There’s also a pride portion as well. Being able to pass someone while riding feels good, getting passed, not so good.

    • commodious spittoon

      There’s also a pride portion as well.

      You shouldn’t be worried about passing, just be who you are. ?️‍?

      • Nephilium

        I’m already wearing spandex while doing this. It’s not like there’s a lot of pride that I’m already rolling with.

  19. IRBE

    Speaking of motivation… There is was a recent study of about “sex regret”. Seems mens’ greatest regret is missing out on a sexual encounter and womens’ greatest regret is having emotionally vacant sex (SWOC). The ‘makes-sense-thinking’ is that feelings of regret are believed to be evolutionary in nature. What really surprised the researchers was that for all the regret women had over sex, it did not change their behavior to having less sex. It was almost just the opposite…Somehow regret was not enough to change behavior since there are so few true consequences afforded by modern medicine for pregnancy and STDs.

    There is probably similar perceived lack of consequences for not being in fit and in-shape..like not getting eaten by a bear or something.

    • Mojeaux

      for all the regret women had over sex, it did not change their behavior to having less sex.

      Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love.

      • Tres Cool

        Cods and Cuntes. You cant backtrack evolution.

      • IRBE

        I think modern life has ‘out-kicked the coverage’ on evolution which results in returns for non-sensical touchdowns

      • IRBE

        I think men will use almost anything to get sex and women pay a huge price for getting love or attention…they just don’t realize where they are paying.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Jeez, Chris Rock, what a cynic you are. Do go on.

      • IRBE

        My biggest regret is I am not cynical enough…evolution may be holding me back.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “Bill Maher: Be More Cynical”. I think I saw that tour.

      • Surly Knott

        No matter how cynical I get, it’s just never enough — Lily Tomlin. Also moi

    • mikey

      Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes.
      What a man regrets most are the mistakes he didn’t make when he had the chance.

      • westernsloper

        That aint no shit there. And this from someone who made more bad choices than good ones.

      • hayeksplosives

        “More bad choices than good ones”

        I dunno. If you are still on this side of the grass and not dealing with in-your-face consequences of bad choices, I’d say they weren’t necessarily “bad”.

        Screwing up is part of life.

      • hayeksplosives

        Youth is wasted on the young.

      • TARDis

        Correct. To which I add, “Money is wasted on the old.”

      • Lackadaisical

        I’ve never heard it put that way, but I’ve often thought it.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      “Emotionally vacant” = unpartnered, I take it?

  20. hayeksplosives

    My motivation is that my new job is going to put me on my feet and walking around a lot.

    Fortunately, dieting and the job will actually work together naturally for this.

  21. hayeksplosives

    OT: my significant other is looking through a billion Zillow house listing a day.

    He is so completely sick of the fad of putting up decorative signs like “gather” in the kitchen or “Live. Laugh. Love” that he is now planning to have a custom sign made up for the bathroom that reads “Squat. Push. Wipe.”

    • Ghostpatzer

      “Squat. Push. Wipe.”

      Might want to add “flush”.

      • Tres Cool

        + Upper Decker

    • Animal

      As you walk in the front door of the Casa de Animal, you’re greeted by a lovely wooden sign with this message in flowing script: “You Don’t Fuck With Tradition.”

      • hayeksplosives

        Respect.

    • hayeksplosives

      I’m thinking of a beautiful script one for the guest bedroom reading “fuck”

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Stagers’ work?

      I would rather see empty rooms or current residents’ fingerpaints on the fridge, but apparently I am not most people.

      • hayeksplosives

        Great question!

        It does seem like stagers started the trend but then people, sheep-like, seemed to multiply it.

        Every Hobby Lobby and dollar store have signs telling you basic human functions now, and people gobble them up.

        It’s like we are all in someone’s giant psychology experiment.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Michael’s too. Whatever happened to facetious sayings in needlepoint? “If you have nothing nice to say, come sit by me”?

        I did see the other day on an Ashley ad, “If my dog makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you in another room.”

      • db

        Hell, Tractor Supply has those signs out by the checkout lanes.

      • grrizzly

        Did they ask you for your selfie with a horse?

      • Plinker762

        As long as there aren’t fingernail scratches on the walls of the basement.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        I see these signs at every swap meet I attend, which is most of them. Early thirties Etsy-girls trying to make a post-kids business.

    • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

      I’ve always liked the French phrase that I first saw on a sign hanging in my wife’s cousin’s loo in The Netherlands:

      Ici laisse tomber en ruine tous les beaux arts de la cuisine (“Here lies entombed in ruin all of the beautiful arts of cooking,” or “Here lies entombed in ruin all of the beautiful arts of the kitchen.”).

      Yep.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      He is so completely sick of the fad of putting up decorative signs like “gather” in the kitchen or “Live. Laugh. Love”

      I told my wife that she had full decorating control with one condition. No wall decals. Nothing says divorced cat lady like some calligraphy wall decal with some vapid message about kindness or whatever.

      • Sean

        We have one in our powder room.

        *shrug*

      • Nephilium

        I’ve vetoed a couple of pieces the girlfriend wants to put up. The basement is full on geek though, Free Comic Book Day Prints, custom covers for comics, and beer signs. Most of the main floor is concert pictures or autographed tour posters.

      • db

        We have, scattered in different places in the house, some Art Deco style travel posters for various sci-fi destinations: Arrakis, Gallifrey, LV-426…

      • LCDR_Fish

        I bought a ton of the early Alamo Drafthouse custom prints movie posters they started releasing about 10 years ago (only a couple framed so far though – may try unloading a few in the next few years – or framing others – a mix of nice details and more minimalist styles).

        I think either my Big Trouble in Little China or Thing posters were also supposed to have glow in the dark ink in some sections – although I don’t recall it showing up too well.

      • Lackadaisical

        I held out for several years, but I gave up on this… so now I have a couple stupid sayings around the house.

    • db

      That’s the fucking best.

  22. Annoyed Nomad

    In general, my motivation is better health.

    My mother passed away just shy of her 60th birthday. She was overweight and didn’t exercise and died of an apparent heart attack. As I’m now approaching my 60th birthday, I want to avoid that. I have some high BP, which I may have inherited from her. My father made to his late 70’s, but had Alzheimer’s/dementia for the last 5 or so years of his life. He was diabetic and also didn’t exercise. I also want to avoid that ending. Thankfully, I’m not diabetic, but i believe a healthy lifestyle will help me avoid the dementia.

    I also like the idea of getting stronger than most others. And being the sexy grandfather. I’m working on my “tickets please” body – the abs are starting to show.

    I got down to my lowest weight of the year, 205 lbs, and lowest stomach measurement, 35.7″, so I’m pretty happy with my progress. I’d like to get under 200 lbs (while increasing strength) as I think then I can start getting off the BP meds.

    • DEG

      I got down to my lowest weight of the year, 205 lbs, and lowest stomach measurement, 35.7″, so I’m pretty happy with my progress. I’d like to get under 200 lbs (while increasing strength) as I think then I can start getting off the BP meds.

      Excellent work.

    • Nephilium

      Best of luck to you on that. I need to find a new GP (as my previous one is retiring), I’m hoping that I can use that jump to get off the BP meds.

    • westernsloper

      ? Excellent!

      • Annoyed Nomad

        Thanks guys!

  23. westernsloper

    So Gliberati, put down your drink for a moment and let us know what motivates you to workout.

    I just made a drink so no. It is amazing how changing my diet and getting in morning stretches and exercise has limited my leg pain. Pain the asshole doctors prescribed numerous meds for rather than telling me to lose ten pounds and start eating right. I am convinced the medical regime does not want us healthy they want us medicated because they get kick backs from the drug companies. I will not comply. That is my motivation. At work I run from point A to point B from time to time just because I can. I couldn’t do that several months ago. I was not motivated at all today which is perfectly ok, had steak and eggs for brunch then took a nap. Now it is time to light the grill, get some Vit D and sit in the pool. It is a pleasant sunny 90 this afternoon.

    Thanks for the post Chafed!

    • hayeksplosives

      Good stuff, man.

      I am convinced the medical regime does not want us healthy they want us medicated because they get kick backs from the drug companies. I will not comply. That is my motivation.

      I am also experimenting with getting off various pills and just taking better care of myself. It’s working. I do have to continue to take Keppra for the epilepsy but that one is pretty friendly to me.

      Q: “What do you call the guy who graduated at the bottom of his class in med school?”

      A: Doctor

      • Ted S.

        I thought the answer was Anthony Fauci.

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        *thunderous applause*

    • IRBE

      Steak and eggs are very protein. Napping is sleep. You’re 2 for 2 today without motivation. Consider the day a win.

    • Chafed

      Good for you WS. It’s great the stretching has helped relieve your pain.

  24. Annoyed Nomad

    I may have had the “vid a week ago. My symptoms were pretty mild and only lasted a few days: unusual fatigue, headache, body aches, some queasiness and diarrhea. No temperature even though I kind of felt like I might have a mild fever at times. Also, no respiratory issues or loss of taste/smell. I didn’t bother getting tested – it wasn’t a major impediment.

    I’m fully recovered from whatever it was. I spent most of yesterday taking down an old chain link fence in the back yard.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Thought of getting antibody testing?

      • Annoyed Nomad

        I’m considering it.

    • blackjack

      I’m feeling a ‘lil out of it, myself this weekend. Strange taste in my mouth, slightly sore throat and pretty productive cough. I went and got a pcr test Sat, but it just came back negative. Probably a cold or flu. I specifically didn’t check the current symptoms box, so as not to sway the results. Anyway, today it seems to be receding, so I’m not worried about it.

      • rhywun

        I had what felt like the beginnings of a cold yesterday. Gone today. #survivor

      • Mojeaux

        #survivor

        I LOLd.

      • blackjack

        Hey, if I get a positive test, I get two weeks paid leave. It’s like a golden ticket for us. I used all the quarantine time, the positive test time is all that’s left.

      • blackjack

        And the #survivor tag is pretty damn funny, too.

      • Annoyed Nomad

        And I agree about the tag. I’m stealing that if I do get a positive antibody test.

      • DEG

        I should start using it.

      • Annoyed Nomad

        Best of luck?

      • Annoyed Nomad

        One of my neighbors had cold-like symptoms last year and his test came back negative. But later he had antibody tests (over a period of months) and they all came back positive, so he’s sure the test was a false negative (his wife, a nurse, said he didn’t shove up his nose far enough).

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Beatings, morale….

    • The Other Kevin

      So it turns out Covid is a respiratory infection that mutates quickly so we’ll be dealing with new variants every year. This is unprecedented in all f human history.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ?

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      I’m not even sure now how flu shots function re transmissibility, having never had one.

    • rhywun

      I would like to start a petition to eliminate the word “jab” from the English language. Who’s with me?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Seconded!

      • Animal

        If you could pull it off, it would be a jab well done.

      • Not Adahn

        You’ll need a hook to get people to sign it. Otherwise they might cross you.

  25. MikeS

    Ugh. And I clicked on it anyway. SMDH

    • Chafed

      It’s a great tune. You were warned. Take your negativity somewhere else. ??

      • db

        If your goal was to make Rush haters miserable, its working, man.

    • Ted S.

      Yeah; it’s not even as good as the music I post.

      • Not Adahn

        To answer your question, she thrusts her crotch into their face. If video game characters can do it, so can she.

      • Ted S.

        That should be a response to my music link below.

    • PutridMeat

      One day, you shall see the light.

      I *just* noticed you avatar has the little thing that goes up. Neat.

      • blackjack

        I saw it too!

      • PutridMeat

        I too have seen the light. Blinded even.

      • blackjack

        So much better than what I expected. THNX.

  26. The Other Kevin

    I’ve always like being strong. It keeps me able to do whatever I want to do. But training for s sport takes motivation to a new level, and it makes planning workouts super easy.

  27. Surly Knott

    What motivates me? I’m honestly not sure. I made a commitment to myself; if I can’t trust myself, how can I trust anyone else? To say nothing of ‘how can anyone else trust me?’
    But I hate exercise, loathe it with the white hot heat of a thousand suns. I was in 6th grade when Kennedy launched PE as part of schooling, and had a series of sadistic “coaches” for the rest of my school years. That went a very long way towards putting me off sports and exercise of any kind.
    I’m 70, in generally good health, but suffer admittedly trivial back pains and do not have any strength or flexibility to speak of. The ‘Ozy challenge’ was of immense help in getting me started. Now it’s habit, a part of my routine. That is, I think, a key piece for me — habit beats motivation 99 times out of 100. Especially when one absolutely does not want to do whatever it is that requires motivation.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Yeah, what was the ostensible reason for that Presidential Fitness crap? Is that still going on?

      • westernsloper

        That was back when we knew kids moving and exercising was good for them. Now I think it is discouraged. I treasured my presidential fitness badges. It was fun AF when I was a kid.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ? Varied mileage. Eh, I was probably middling at most sports.

      • DEG

        Yep.

        My vague memory of the standards is a bunch of them were junk.

      • westernsloper

        Way to harsh my childhood memories Deg.

      • DEG

        At least I’m good for something.

      • CPRM

        I got a Presidential Academic Fitness Award when I was a kid. It was signed by Bill Clinton (Yes I’m younger than most of you old farts), so I burned it.

      • hayeksplosives

        Mine was from Reagan.

        I still have it.

      • CPRM

        The thing I wish I still had was the letter I got saying Metallica would sue me over Napster.

      • pistoffnick

        *pictures Lars Ulrich on a BMX bike chasing CPRM and yelling “I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!”*

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I’m sure my wife’s grandfather still has his copy.

      • Not Adahn

        I forget the President, but mine came with an “autographed” picture of Arnold Swartzenegger.

      • Surly Knott

        Sputnik launched, the US panicked. PE, science, focus on space, all kicked in with beaucoup de bucks.

  28. The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

    WARNING! OT POST!

    For Tundra:

    When I heard this, I immediately thought of you:

    Baby Let’s Surf the Tidal Wave of Hate

    Group’s called “The Wet Secrets,” and they’re from my present home town (Edmonton, Alberta, Canada).

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        Well, certainly an older Albertan . . .

    • Tundra

      Very solid!

      The video didn’t work but I found the song. Gonna do a deep dive on the Wet Secrets!

      (euphemism?!?)

    • Zwak, jack off, all trades

      My whole state is supposed to mask outdoors. Fuck that shit. I see the same level of masking now as I did before. Some people are masked, and probably mask while having sex. The rest of us don’t and know it’s silly.

      I remember all the hippies and their nuclear power freakouts when I was a kid. They always protested, every weekend! at the nearby reactor, and wore shirts that said “civil disobedience is civil defense” or “dissent is the highest form of patriotism” or “my body, my choice”

      Sad to see those same people all super-mask.

    • Lackadaisical

      Outdoors? 😀 😀

  29. Q Continuum

    What motivates me to work out (in order of importance):

    1. Getting laid.
    2. How it makes me feel.
    3. General health/longevity.

    • westernsloper

      Me too. Now I just buy parts for cordless outdoor yard tools.

    • Animal

      Those figures only include sales in which there is a background check required. In some civilized places, private-party sales are still, shall we say, undocumented. Just sayin’.

    • Not Adahn

      Hell, I don’t have the time to shoot all the guns I currently have, even the ones I need to improve with.

      • DEG

        /looks over collection
        /backs out of room

    • kinnath

      Got mine the last sale

  30. hayeksplosives

    Since the hubs and I will be vacating our home at some unpredictable but near term date, we are digging deep in the pantry and the freezer to use up what we can.

    Last night I threw a big chunk of mystery meat in the sink to thaw. Turned out to be pork shoulder, tough and fatty. So it’s now cut in chunks and spiced up to become pork vindaloo.

    Theoretically it’s supposed to marinate for a few hours then cook in a skillet. I decided to combine the marinade phase with the cook phase and threw it in the crockpot. My nose tells me it’s working…

    • hayeksplosives

      Coriander, garlic, ginger, fenugreek seeds, fenugreek leaves, cumin, black cumin, black peppercorns, bird chilies, cinnamon, cardamom seeds, mango powder, etc.

      Vinegar of course, and tomato and onion. That’s what makes it a vindaloo.

      • Nephilium

        Needs more peppers.

        /would still eat it.

      • hayeksplosives

        Will these do? https://imgur.com/a/ov5x5QX

        I flung some of ‘em in for good measure. Pro tip: do not touch them directly. From the local Slavic market, I’m gonna miss that place…

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        Ohhhhhhh, baby . . .

      • Mojeaux

        Did not disappoint.

      • db

        I still have a Casio CZ-1000 that I got as a present in 1984.

      • db

        Oh that’s not a 1000. It’s a bit newer

      • hayeksplosives

        It’s been years, but the video still does not disappoint.

      • hayeksplosives

        That’s awesome.

      • Not Adahn

        I left that one just for you.

    • SandMan

      I have no idea what vindaloo is, but you can’t go wrong with the crock pot.

    • CPRM

      I have some sliced steak marinating in the fridge with some spices and doused in hot sauce, which will be cooked up with some sliced bell pepper, pickled hot banana pepper and onion and eaten in a tortilla. It’s kind of like my bastardized version of a fajita.

  31. DEG

    New Hampshire holiday weekend means fireworks.

    • hayeksplosives

      Live free or die, bitch.

  32. westernsloper

    Are we doing a labor day fuck ya don’t have to work tomorrow zoom happy hour?

    • CPRM

      I have to work tomorrow…but not until 10pm.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I should probably spend time with my family.

    • rhywun

      I don’t have to work until Thursday. Thanks, (((guys)))!

      • westernsloper

        Nice!

      • hayeksplosives

        Lol. My (((employee))) asked for the week off, and it was kinda funny because I’d already marked him as being gone and shifted the project schedule accordingly.

        He then told me he really appreciated my awareness and understanding. It’s how I roll.

  33. Ownbestenemy

    You don’t need State propagandists (okay, I know..they are teachers) to push your fear.

    https://twitter.com/chicagosmayor/status/1432312267803140097

    I am guessing these people know they will draw a media that is more than willing. They aren’t directed by some single source but rather have the mindset to know it will help their cause.

    • rhywun

      The little girl in front looks like she’s having difficulty breathing. The kid behind her high-fiving Beetlejuice is probably the class snitch who told the teacher to make her pull up her mask.

  34. blackjack

    The main motivation that gets me out of the house (mostly for skateboarding, like the rest of the Glib’s skate team) is my kid. I get pretty good exercise at work. I rarely sit down for more ten minutes and walk a few miles every day. Plus, I’m genetically healthy, mostly. I fried a lung during the ’94 earthquake and then smoked a bunch of cigs after that, so breathing is not my strong suit, but otherwise, nothing is wrong me at all.

    • Ownbestenemy

      “I rarely sit down for more ten minutes” That is me. Even though I am prone to general aloofness, I don’t just sit around.

    • westernsloper

      I have switched back and forth between smoking and Copenhagen since I was probably 15 (?) I figure I am a prime candidate for cancer of some sort. Oh well. I am now on the nicotine gum and tobacco free for about three weeks. I loved smoking cigs while sitting in a dark seedy bar with sticky carpet and pool tables with half a buzz on. Those were the days. I have lived too far out of town to do that for years now but I have fond memories.

    • CPRM

      This job is the first one I’ve ever had where I actually sit around the whole time. I used to spend all my breaks moving around and stretching, but with my feet sucking and back acting up, now I just sit outside instead of inside on my break.

  35. Zwak, jack off, all trades

    What’s my motivation? I have additional health “challenges”* and so I need to workout to overcome those, or at least challenge them.

    No other reason really, I do not find it interesting in any way outside of that issue. But, I was always in general good health and reasonably** athletic without trying, so it isn’t a habit I ever developed. I would rather read or work in my shop, and I kinda resent the time spent working out. But, it is what it is.

    *I really dislike this word. Years ago I worked at a place and if you said you had a problem while taking it up the ladder, you would be gently chastised and told you should refer to it as a challenge, something that will make you better. And if you really hit your zen, it was to be called an opportunity. I liked the boss so I played along, but it was always kind of an eye-roller.

    **Time for a beer. Black Bog Sour, local brewery. I pick up a four-pack of something by them most weeks. This is my beer alotment.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Crisatunity!

  36. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    a) what the FUCK are these invisible bugs that are eating me alive in South Carolina? You literally can’t see them – you suddenly start itching and you look at your arm/leg/foot and nothing is there. At least they’ve left my face alone so far. Gotta keep the moneymaker in tiptop shape.

    b) the movie Nomadland wrecked me emotionally. I don’t know if I’ve ever identified with a character more. I need a Harold & Kumar or Jackass palate cleanser, stat

    • Annoyed Nomad

      Might be Oak Mites. We’re getting a lot of them in Ohio. Apparently they feed on the eggs/larva of Cicadas and have feasted quite well lately. They just fall out of the trees. They’re super small and their bite causes very itchy and painful spots.

      • Annoyed Nomad

        Article about the oak mites

      • Annoyed Nomad

        Article about the oak mites

      • Annoyed Nomad

        I’ve tried to post a link to an article about the oak mites, but my post doesn’t show up. Search for “oak mites 2021”.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Thanks! I’ll look em up. I feel like the only remedy is to get out of the tropics* ASAP

        *yes, western SC is the tropics in summer. It’s like the Congo up in here, though it’s been pretty dry this week.

    • westernsloper

      No see ums?

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Seems like it’s these oak mite things AN mentioned. Motherfucking fucks.

      • blackjack

        We just got them here last year. They are just starting to show up this year. I actually just slapped one to death on my laptop about 15 minutes ago. I seen ‘um.

    • pistoffnick

      I also liked “Nomadland”

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        I can’t say I liked it, as I cried through the entire movie and the main character hit me in the gut. It’s like Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close….intensely personal to me. Like someone you don’t even know baring your soul for you. Very well done, fabulous acting throughout, but just so….emotionally draining.

      • pistoffnick

        “Very well done, fabulous acting throughout, but just so….emotionally draining.”

        It was a very good movie. Seeing Francis’ bush was also a treat (I like a nice bush).

        I think I am stricken with a different sort of wanderlust (sailing) than you.

    • Suthenboy

      Likely suspects: a gnat known as a no-see-um’s or a very tiny black mosquito that makes no sound and you cant feel it bite you. About five minutes after the little monsters make their escape with your blood the bite site suddenly swells up and itches like mad.

  37. Fourscore

    My goal or bucket list is to get in my deer stand Opening Morning, in early November. I have to be able to climb a 12 foot ladder. If I were to accidentally shoot a deer I want to be ably to dress it out, that may be tougher, getting down and then up off the ground. I’ll be on the treadmill tomorrow, last week I topped out at 2.7 MPH for 2.33 miles. I do well on the treadmill, ’cause I’m holding the handlebars and keeping a little weight off my bad leg. Regular walking is different and a little tougher, then I limp and my knee doesn’t bend so well so I get tired faster. OTOH things could be a little or a lot worse so I’m grateful. I’m eating well but not sleeping well, because of another problem.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L842mz-tNBQ

    • CPRM

      I’m eating well but not sleeping well, because of another problem.

      Didn’t your momma ever warn you about the problems of chronic masturbation?

      • Ted S.

        Masturbation is supposed to be good for prostate health.

      • Fourscore

        Raquel is four score now, many years ago she and I were an item although Natalie Wood could have been involved too.

      • Ted S.

        Angie Dickinson turns 90 at the end of the month.

      • MikeS

        NoDak proud.

      • pistoffnick

        “NoDak proud”

        Dot’s pretzels are the shit. I don’t buy them anymore because I end up eating a whole bag.

      • DEG

        I WANT IT!

      • Sean

  38. LCDR_Fish

    Just finished my new bluray of Ruben Brandt. Been wanting to rewatch it ever since catching it at the 2018 Virginia Film Festival. Even though it’s a Hungarian production, definitely seems like the English “international” edition is the “actual” audio – no references to a Hungarian audio anywhere else and all the non-English dialog is already subbed.

    I know it’s trite and cliched to say…but for an animated flick….there really is nothing else like it thematically, graphically, stylistically. Needs more attention.

    • CPRM

      Animation is an even smaller world than film itself. Unless it is being produced by a government, English will get you the widest audience.

      • LCDR_Fish

        I know, but I thought there would still be an original domestic release as well – IMDB is off on some stuff every now and then.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ENDUT! HOCH HECH!

        …sorry.

    • rhywun

      I guess “Operation Let’s Sink Below Even MSNBC Let Alone Fox” is still in effect.

    • Suthenboy

      Which one? The ‘livestock drug’ thing or the one below it from Rolling Stone? I swear I wouldn’t put RS in a bird cage for fear the bird might accidentally read some of it and suffer brain damage.

  39. commodious spittoon

    Hey now hey now

    Don’t dream it’s over

    you can’t get rid of me so easily

    I’m here for all of time, bitches

    try and catch the deluge in a paper c up

    • commodious spittoon

      You know that they won’t win

    • commodious spittoon

      I took 100mg of benadryl, it’s a mere couple few hours before I have to sleep

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Miles to go, sweet potato…

      • commodious spittoon

        You ever heard of this band Tears for Fears? They’re the tits

      • commodious spittoon

        Turns out I’m my own Frank Grimes. I’d ask aren’t we all, but no, we aren’t.

      • Plinker762

        Good ole Grimy

  40. 2ndClassProle

    My motivation is not to be a giant fucking cow. I am about to be fifty so Im thinking I do not want to end up like my mother. She passed away a couple of years, and was bed-ridden for five years. She never really enjoyed a healthy lifestyle and was constantly sick or in surgery. I want to avoid it. Not to live longer. I really do not care how long I stay on this fucking planet, but do not want to spend it bed-ridden or chronically sick.

    This week went good. Another pound to the total. Makes seventeen pounds in a little over a month. Three weeks in the gym, and four weeks on intermittent fasting. Another plus no Dr. Pepper for a month, which helps. Loved that stuff, but it was ridiculous the amount I would drink. Like smoking, I cannot just have one. I felt a difference in my mood swings. I pretty even throughout the day, except close lunch. My window for fasting is 1130 to around 530 or 600, and it gets hard, especially if I worked out good the night before. It is good window. Five days a week only have certain time to eat so it limits calories. I eat before my work out so after working out, I have nothing till the next day. I was thinking about taking a post workout shake. Does anyone have ideas if these work?

    Once again Glibs have great holiday, and week.

    /Ronnie

    • straffinrun

      I’d imagine that you need to decide your workout and eating habits based on body type. Drives me nuts when people give one-size-fits-all advice on health and fitness. If it works for you, why not?

    • egould310

      “ post workout shake. ”

      Just look out for sugar/carbs/calories.

      Congrats on cutting out the Dr. Pepper. So much sugar in soda.

    • Chafed

      I’m not an expert on the nutrition angle. The research I’ve done says there is no post-workout window in which to have that shake. What is effective is your total protein intake. More specifically, you should get 40 grams or more protein per meal. This assumes 3 meals per day. Your fasting, I assume, changes the calculus.

    • Tundra

      Good job, Ronnie.

      Stories like yours are what make this feature so good!

      I agree with Chafed. Get your protein first, always, and fill in around it. Perhaps don’t worry about the fasting yet? I have had great success with it, but you are doing a lot of major changes at once. I love the nuking of the Dr.P (even though it’s the most amazing beverage ever).

      Are you walking? I am a broken record, but I think it’s the single best thing you can do for your overall health.

      Good luck, man. You’re not gonna be what you fear.

      • Chafed

        I second Tundra. Ditching soda was a great move.

  41. straffinrun

    Thx for the reminder Chafed. I’ll get in 50km on the bike today. Very hilly so a good workout. These single letter vertical comments are giving me vertigo.

  42. Brochettaward

    I know you all want to see my First.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      I want to see your Last because the First of you turns my stomach.

      • hayeksplosives

        Sully; remember when I said I would kill you last?

        I lied.

    • hayeksplosives

      Are some of you mother fuckers still awake??

      I’m amazed.

      And impressed.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Barely…day off tomorrow but winding down.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Thomas Ricks is an ass, but he’s an entertaining one at times. Watching his Nimitz Lectures on youtube.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Also apply this to the COVID vaccine “The Portland City Council stands unified in its belief that all people should have the right to choose if and when they carry a pregnancy and that the decisions they make are complex, difficult and unique to their circumstances…”

      And I may give you some leeway.

      More from that “It violates the separation of church and state. And, it will force people to carry pregnancies against their will,” What violates the separation of church and state. Should we say that theft or murder laws are also such a violation? And…it was the sex without precautions or not fully understanding the consequences of that act that puts people ‘against their will’.

      Did this law ban Plan B? Nope..so if you went out and had a good time or you are a married couple that got caught up in the moment or whatever the circumstance, you have available to you, the means to not be held against your will of that pregnancy

      Texas Insurance Code § 1271.007 (2003) – Allows a health maintenance organization, physician, or provider to refuse to recommend, offer advice concerning, pay for, provide, assist in, perform, arrange, or participate in providing or performing any health care service that violates the religious convictions of the health maintenance organization, physician, or provider.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Lots of TX based companies, particularly ones that cater to sucking off of government contracts.

      Usually there’s a loophole for “essential” travel as though there should be non-essential travel by public employees. The whole thing is rotten. Up until current year, junkets all the time for various “educational” conferences and so on. All justified as necessary.

  43. Festus

    Going to sleep now, my lovelies. Did I mention lately how much I care about you lot of miscreants and scallawags? If not then more shame on me. You are a port in the storm and my heart is trying to stay the same size.

  44. UnCivilServant

    Well, sheet. I’m just far enough into Kentucky that I hit Central time. Explains why my alarm went off and the hotel room clock claimed it was 4am.

    My computer still thinks its in New York, and agrees with my alarm that I should have been up an hour ago.

    • hayeksplosives

      Give Senator Paul and Representative Massie a big sloppy kiss for me!

      • UnCivilServant

        I’d rather not.

        Besides, I need to get to Tulsa by the end of today. Don’t have planned activities there, but it’s more sane than trying to reach New Mexico in a single day.

      • Not Adahn

        Get a root beer at Weber’s. Make sure you get gravy for your fries at the Metro. The Center of the Universe isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

      • UnCivilServant

        And they may be closed by the time we reach town, and won’t reopen early enough before we move on towards points west.

      • Not Adahn

        Yup that’s the Weber’s.

        The Metro may no longer exist – it was a “diner” on Delaware Ave. Something that may also no longer exist is Starship Records and Tapes — it’s 1970s era Head Shop.

        Pity if you can’t get a root beer there. It really is delicious.

        Del Rancho’s (an Okie drive in chain) chicken fried steak sandwich is worth getting. The rest of their menu is forgettable.

  45. Suthenboy

    Something funny I have noticed. It seems to be a mostly northern and midwestern habit. Using informal diminutives for lots of words. We dont have that in the south, not that I am aware of.

    I was at a forum once where there were lots of dutch. A South African speaker began giving a lecture and all of the dutchmen started giggling. I poked the one next to me and asked what was so funny. “Africaans is like dutch but it uses lots of diminutives and to us it sounds like baby-talk.”
    The speaker kept going but his face got redder and redder.

    “Ah, I know what you mean. We have some of that in different areas of our country”

    • Lackadaisical

      It seems to be a mostly northern and midwestern habit. Using informal diminutives for lots of words. We dont have that in the south, not that I am aware of.

      Can you give an example of what you mean?

      • Suthenboy

        I have been watching fishing videos all morning and have heard ‘fishies’, bakey- referring to bacon, Uh….I cant remember the others. I will either think of more or hear more as I am still watching the videos.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have never heard the latter construction, and the first is known and understood to be a childlike diminutive not used in serous context.

      • Lackadaisical

        Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey?

      • Suthenboy

        Oh, maybe that is what he said but he used the word more than once. It just sounds odd to me because we dont have that habit here.

      • UnCivilServant

        Who says anything like that?

      • Lackadaisical

        Almost no one? But I have heard it before, usually a bit tongue and cheek.

      • Lackadaisical

        tongue and cheek.

        I can’t decide if ‘tongue and cheek’ or ‘tongue in cheek’ is more evocative of HM.

      • Fourscore

        Never heard those expressions from adults.

      • Lackadaisical

        Such words are typically used in informal or familial settings.

        And you think that could be a universal north-south thing? My wife’s family is south Indian, and almost every word is some diminutive, at least when referring to other people or their traits.

    • Not Adahn

      The south has a vocal register that either the north doesn’t have or that I can’t yet hear.

      It’s very similar to the “polite” register and means “I am lying to you but I’d really appreciate it if you’d pretend you don’t notice so we don’t cause drama.” I think it’s why southerners perceive northerners as inexcusably rude — they just lie.

      • Suthenboy

        I dont think of northerners as rude. The divide in culture is much more urban/rural than north/south. Some of the rudest MF’s you will ever meet live in New Orleans.

      • Lackadaisical

        Yeah, that was something I didn’t immediately understand about the South the first few times I visited.

        I don’t really see the point, it seems even more rude to me than being upfront.

      • Not Adahn

        Well actually lying to someone is a deadly insult. Polite lying is a way for everyone to acknowledge social realities respectfully.

      • Not Adahn

        I think I need to emphasize the respect part of this. The polite liar is repsecting the liee by telling them that they are lying and the liee is respecting the liar by dropping the subject.

        So… A and B don’t like each other.

        But because of familial or relations, they have some sort of duty to each other. A “invites” B to an event because of the aforementioned social entanglements and it would be rude not to extend the invitation. B declines with a polite-register lie as an excuse. At this point, things are fine. If A doubts B’s excuse (or worse checks up on it) then A is the one being an asshole for calling out B’s lie, because B told the lie in the correct register. If B had used the sincere register, then they would be the asshole.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Any YouTube examples, fictional or non–?

      • Tres Cool

        Well bless your heart.

      • Suthenboy

        We have a liar’s contest down here. Last year I think the #1 an #@ winners were –

        #2 – I went out to water the horse and half way there I ran into a giant diamondback. I grabbed a stick and tried to whack it but the snake was so big it caught the stick in its mouth and bit it, then it got away. About an hour later that stick had swelled up into a pretty decent saw-log. I thought I would saw it up and build a horse pen out of it, and I did. The next morning my horse was dead.

        Q: “Why was your horse dead?”

        A: “The swellin’ went down.”

        #1 – “I have a 16 year old son and a flashlight. They both work.” – Mic drop

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Sounds like Australian: footie, brekky…

  46. Lackadaisical

    Motivation to exercise comes mainly from a desire for self sufficiency, disgust, pride, and a little bit of vanity.

    The more you are able to do, the more your scope of freedom expands.

  47. UnCivilServant

    And to go on-topic, my motivation is that I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

    No more needed.

  48. Not Adahn

    Repaired the vacuum cleaner cord that Lily chewed through. I noticed two things:

    Sharp wire strippers are a joy.
    Physical stuff is just so much better than it used to be. This plug almost attaches itself — a millennial could do this job.

    • UnCivilServant

      Well, that takes all the fun out of it.

    • Tres Cool

      Re-type “a millennial could do this job” whilst remembering Robbie’s flat tire. And inability to change it.

    • Sean

      You expect a millennial to own tools?

  49. Sean

    Yesterday ended up gray and drizzly. Today is the day for the Polishfest and kielbasa.

    Polka ? too.

    • hayeksplosives

      Kielbasa…drool.
      Ladywood.

      • Sean

        One of the stands does it smoked. Oh, and pierogies everywhere.

      • Timeloose

        Cooked up some Kilbasa on the smoker last night. Great stuff with extra garlic and cheese.

      • Sean

        “Extra garlic and cheese”. I can be there in @ 2 hours.

    • Tres Cool

      It horrific. I heard it on the news overnight. However, this doesnt seem like a professional and thought-out comment at the presser:

      ““If (Riley) had given us the opportunity, we would have shot him up a lot, but he didn’t because he was a coward,” Judd said. “You see, it’s easy to shoot innocent children and babies and people in the middle of the night when you’ve got the gun, and they don’t. But he was not much of a man.””

      Sounds like some cop has murderous blue-balls. I feel bad for his spouse, kids, and/or dog when he gets home from work.

  50. hayeksplosives

    I don’t wanna get “fact checked” but I have it on good authority from relatives in the area that MARTA acronym is for “Moving Africans Rapidly Through Atlanta.”

    Government, choo-choos, central planning without regard to human action and motivation, etc…

    • Tres Cool

      I can one-up that: once I heard our transit system (RTA) referred to as the “Return to Africa”.

      Never change, SW Ohio….

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Y’allins Racist and shit,
      Howdy!

      • Tres Cool

        MEDIUM SIZED CANS !

        (Kroger was out of 24 oz’ers)

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Covfefe!

  51. Tres Cool

    What a night. Im beat.

    suh’ fam

    yo whats goody

    • hayeksplosives

      It got real dusty in here just now.

      Thanks for posting .

  52. Suthenboy

    Speaking of dialectic peculiarities…I may have told this one before.
    Some brand names have become synonymous with an entire class of products. Around here it is Coke.

    I am driving down the road, then I stop at a little convenience store. I ask my passenger “Would you like a coke?”

    Them: “Sure”
    Me: “What kind?”
    Them: “Hmmm. I think I will have a root beer”

    When I told that the first time many people here were confused because they had never thought of ‘Coke’ as a generic term for all soft drinks.

    • Tres Cool

      We tend to call it just “pop”. The more north and east you go, pop morphs into soda for some reason.

      I think I mentioned this before, but a very SW Ohio thing is to call green bell peppers “mangos”. Like, “aw shit, you made stuffed mangos? No wonder the house stinks.”

      “Briar” is our Boudreaux. GT will confirm all of this.

      • UnCivilServant

        Because Soda is the actual term for it.

        A pop is a quick punch to the mouth/nose area.

      • Tres Cool

        Maybe we’re too lazy to say ‘soda pop’. Those extra 2 syllables can be exhausting.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Minerals, if you’re Irish. ?

        Similarly, capsicum if Australian. ?

    • hayeksplosives

      This is my exact experience growing up in Oklahoma.

      Wanna Coke?

      Sure.

      What kind?

      Sprite.

  53. Sean

    Pizza flavored cheese curds.

    Yum!

  54. Tres Cool

    WRT Suthens “linguistics” comment (and I neither say “fishies” nor “bakey”): the news Ive heard about Ida and Louisiana. It seems to my ears that each person interviewed that was absolutely horrified by the devastation had nearly no accent, or a more not-louisiana accent. Each Boudreaux I heard seemed to say “lookin’ for gas for the generator while we clean up” like it was a daily occurrence. Im guessing the former are transplants.

    • Suthenboy

      Weather people are no different than other journalist. They lie like mad.
      Didnt someone post a link of a weather man in a head to toe rain slicker leaning into Ida’s winds to stay on his feet while reporting? In the middle of the report two guys in shorts and short sleeve shirts casually walk behind him while lazily eating ice cream cones. Another guy casually walks up and looks at the weather man like he is crazy.

      Several years ago some female newscaster was reporting on horrible floods somewhere while she floated around in a canoe. In the middle of her report two guys casually walk by in the water which isn’t deep enough to cover their shoes.

      These honest heroes are our media, ladies and gentlemen.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Storm Watch 2000!

  55. Suthenboy

    Speaking of creepy murders…

    I didnt catch the whole story so I am not up on the context or even the location. A young man was murdered, then shortly afterwards a young woman was murdered. Then some lawyer that had a connection to those two victims found his wife and son murdered in their hunting cabin. Yesterday? the lawyer had a flat tire, somehow deliberately engineered, then while he was changing the tire someone shot him in the head. The whole series of murders took place inside of just months.

    There is some kind of connection between all of these victims that I didnt catch and I am not sure about the location but my impression was a small town in Texas. The whole thing is very creepy and mysterious. Does anyone know anything about this?

    • Tres Cool

      Drugs would be my guess.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Vendetta

      • Tres Cool

        Why not both ?

      • Suthenboy

        I had a social falling out?
        It is hard to have a social falling out when you aren’t social, but remind me.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ISTR you lost a friend (a couple?), and that Neph has a dopey cousin. Probably both vid-related.

      • Suthenboy

        Oh. Two relatives on my mother’s side. Separate incidences. They were both in their mid-eighties. It was expected but with something like that. you always hope it wont be today.

      • Suthenboy

        Yeah, that is the one. Soon to be a made for TV movie most likely. That whole story stinks like mad.
        On the newscast this morning apparently another young woman who was involved in the boating accident was murdered soon after the accident.

        Good grief…five people?

  56. Not Adahn

    Lol. At the dog park. A horse owner is discussing his last horse’s race yesterday going through the Jockey’s tactics. Came in third, paid $10. The stuff I experience here

    • Ted S.

      Congratulations on surviving another horse-racing season.

  57. hayeksplosives

    My cat has fallen into the crevasse that exists between my fat ass and my husband’s fat ass in bed.wherein the covers make a natural hammock,

    That tiny little monster is now presenting to me each of his little paws in turn to be massaged and loved on. It’s a little creepy.

    • Suthenboy

      I have a young dog that was scared to death of people but his near starvation won out in the end. We took him in, got him to the vet and eventually won his trust. Now I wish we had not won his trust.
      He spent half of the day yesterday in my lap under a blanket with just his nose sticking out. If I tried moving he would complain bitterly until I was still again. I nearly melted he generated so much heat under there. As I type this Mrs. Suthenboy is taking her turn. She is still in the bed and that little dog is laying across her belly under the blanket.

      Critters….whatcha gonna do?