Saturday Morning New Years Links

by | Sep 11, 2021 | Daily Links | 238 comments

OK, some people did something. But who cares, we just had a New Year! And this one is going to be great! People are getting stupider and stupider at an accelerated rate, so sit in the stands, open a box of popcorn, and enjoy the freakshow. Many examples of which, anon.

It’s not just the anniversary of some people doing something, it’s a day chock full of birthdays, not the least of which was a very focused guy; a guy whose end was a bit of a surprise; a guy who said to Rousseau, “Hold mah ale”; a guy who coached Little League; a woman who proved that being a child of Nazis didn’t mean you couldn’t be worse; possibly the biggest asshole in the NFL; a filmmaker almost as bad as Spielberg; a pretty fine musician who made some unfortunate choices; a pretty fine musician who made a lot of fortunate choices; a ridiculously good bass player; and a hawk among the sparrows.

Break out the popcorn, we’re going in.

 

They’re not even pretending any more.

 

Indeed we live in the very best timeline. 

 

“…and we’ll do everything we can to help.”

 

Dumb and Dumber. I’m guessing the winner here will be Dumber.

 

The most important part of this story was left out. I wonder why?

 

#dicksoutforHarambe

 

Old Guy Music today is… something else. Featuring one of the birthday boys.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

238 Comments

  1. Tres Cool

    “Five zebras roam freely in Maryland town as residents do a double take.”

    Likely caused by global warming.

    • Not Adahn

      It’s overwhelmingly likely they were actually horses.

      • Tres Cool

        I could see teenaged me with my collection of idiot friends stealing a horse and painting stripes on it, before turning it loose.

      • slumbrew

        That’s a razor-sharp comment.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Join me brother! Join me in forming the Army of 12 Monkeys!

  2. Ghostpatzer

    “More than a dozen gorillas at Zoo Atlanta diagnosed with COVID-19”

    Serves them right. They should have been wearing masks

    • Chipping Pioneer

      Extreme right-wing gorillas

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Now there’s a band name

    • Grummun

      What are the chances the gorillas get some kind of treatment, like Ivermectin or HydroxyQ?

      • Not Adahn

        They’re gorillas, not horses!

  3. Ted S.

    possibly the biggest asshole in the NFL;

    Happy birthday Warren Sapp!

  4. robodruid

    Good Morning Gibbs:
    Sun comming up, going to be a great day. Biden already has put a lid on the day.

    Our 13 year old foster is having her first birthday party today. A reminder that there are lots of people who had it worse than we did.

    Stay strong, work on the garden, feed your chickens, and be happy. They have not beaten us yet.

    • Gender Traitor

      I’d guess Gibbs was the nicest guy in the NFL, and may also be the nicest guy in NASCAR. ? Now if he’d just fire the asshole who works for him.

      Happy Birthday to your 13-year-old! I hope the party goes splendidly and creates many happy memories for her – and you.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Happy birthday to the sprout! My two goddaughters were born on September 10 and September 12. Having something to celebrate around now helps.

    • Sean

      ????

    • limey

      When are you going to get caught up on the other twelve birthdays?

  5. Mookman

    I want to set aside all the BS and vitriol we will likely see today given the state of our political climate and take a few minutes to remember just a few of the good folks we lost 20 years ago.

    Joe Coppo was a dad and an active/respected citizen in the suburb I grew up in. He coached baseball every year and most everyone wanted to be on his team; he had a reputation amongst parents for working well with the kids who weren’t the best players and being legitimately thrilled when one of them got a hit or made a play. I was never on his teams but knew him and his sons through baseball. He worked for Cantor Fitzgerald, the firm in the upper floors of the first tower to be hit that was all but wiped out.

    Tim Stackpole was FDNY and was childhood friends with my father. In 1998 he was on the roof of a massive fire in Brooklyn when it collapsed, killing two other firefighters. He was in the hospital and rehab for the next three years. After he was released he returned to FDNY in March 2001 and was promoted to Captain less than a week before 9/11. After miraculously surviving the 1998 fire, he was killed when the towers collapsed.

    Finally, Steve Siller was FDNY from the same Brooklyn neighborhood that my father’s family grew up in. On the morning of 9/11 he had finished his shift and was on his way home when he heard what was going down, at which point he turned his car around to go help. By then the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel had been closed to traffic, so he put on all his gear and ran 3 miles through the tunnel to the WTC. He too was killed when the towers collapsed. Every year, there’s a great 5K in NYC that’s organized by his parents. People and firefighters come from all over the world to retrace his steps through the tunnel to the new WTC. I’ve run it a few times and my most vivid memory was overhearing a father tell his young son before the race “Don’t worry, there’s only good people here today.”

    We could go on forever about what we as a country did wrong afterwards, but to me that’s for another day. It’s important now more than ever to remember that many, many decent and brave people were murdered and their families are still suffering to this day. I wish like hell they were still with us, we could certainly use more of them.

    • Gender Traitor

      Thank you for this, Mook.

    • Sean

      *pauses for respect*

      Thank you for sharing.

    • The Gunslinger

      Well said Mookman

    • Ghostpatzer

      Thanks, Mook. Far too many were lost that day.

    • Mason

      Thank you for sharing.

    • Pi Guy

      *bows head*

    • creech

      “We could go on forever about what we as a country did wrong afterwards, ”
      Today’s editorial page is filled with columnists decrying Americans being mean to each other and asking us to set aside our differences and unite. The editorial itself recounts “the lessons of 9/11” but never mentions the initial intelligence failures. Maybe we do attribute too much evil to the mostly well-meaning folks that want to impose their values on us at the point of a gun. But we must never forget that there are evil folks out there who hate liberty, who want to put you under their bootheel, and who mean to destroy the values expressed in 1776. They probably aren’t your neighbor who prattles about “the government should do something” but they are out there, in both political parties, working to bring back totalitarian philosophies.

    • KSuellington

      Thank you for that Mook.

    • Gustave Lytton

      RIP. Thank you Mookman.

    • Brawndo

      “Every year, there’s a great 5K in NYC that’s organized by his parents. People and firefighters come from all over the world to retrace his steps through the tunnel to the new WTC. I’ve run it a few times and my most vivid memory was overhearing a father tell his young son before the race “Don’t worry, there’s only good people here today.”

      Fuck, who’s cutting onions nearby?

      Thank you for sharing

  6. l0b0t

    Why isn’t the kid blowing the shofar wearing his kippah? JHVH is blushing…

    • Tres Cool

      Kippah ? I thought it was called a Yamaha.

      • l0b0t

        It depends upon whether one is Ashy-NAZI or Shephard.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Kippah is Hebrew, yarmulke is Yiddish, I think. So my Israeli co-workers tell me.

      • Not Adahn

        I Suzuki what you did there.

  7. Ghostpatzer

    “Newsom Received Pricey Wine From Harvey Weinstein’s Lawyer, Records Show”

    The Old Boies network is alive and well, I see.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Shut the fuck up, Slo… oh wait, wrong Zoomer.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Mornin’, Old Man. Shouldn’t you be cooking now?

      • Old Man With Candy

        Today is Moving Boxes and Furniture Around Day. The house is still only about 10-15% livable.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        So, Shlepping, the new Low Holiday.

  8. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Morning

    I’m still caffeinating

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Scruffy! Don’t rush this whole waking up thing. It’s highly overrated.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Got to shuttle kids around soon. Preparing the caffeine/meth/cocaine cocktail as I type this.

      • Tres Cool

        Rectally is the only way to take that.

    • Not Adahn

      My diner is taking their post-track season vacation, so I tried this place

      It wasn’t bad. It’s a new location so nobody was a regular there yet. From the overheard bits of conversation, I should have ordered the harvest cakes. I have a huge sweet tooth, but I prefer savory breakfasts. I did like that the toast options were “white, wheat, rye, or Italian.”

      The coffee was a bit on he mild side for my taste, but acceptable.

      • Ted S.

        No pumpernickel?

      • Not Adahn

        Apparently not a thing up here.

        Now I want egg salad on pumpernickel for lunch.

      • R.J.

        The Farmer’s Scramble looks good. Also I like my coffee black and bitter like my heaert.

      • Tres Cool

        I take my coffee like my women- cold, black, and half full of booze.

      • Not Adahn

        I prefer hot and bitter, but you do you.

      • ElspethFlashman

        Our office moved from the hip downtown to the 90’s -era- suburbs on the west side recently. So the food choices have become slim to none. We did find a gem called “Pops” and went there as a group for lunch the other day. 1. we were the youngest table in the place by 30 years at least. 2. the menu was entirely comfort food (bland, hearty, and big portions) so 3. I will definitely be back. Crispy bacon on my cheese burger, mmmmm.

      • slumbrew

        Have we already added The Crispy/Chewy Bacon Front to the Glibs Food Wars?

        Chewy 4Lyfe, yo!

      • Gender Traitor

        Crispy4evuh!

      • CPRM

        Now lets do smokes! ONLY APPLE WOOD!!!1

      • Brawndo

        Give me a plate of flaccid bacon any day

  9. Not Adahn

    Now I wait around for a fence builder who was supposed to show up at various points since July, who most recently pushed back yesterday’s install for today because “[their] machine was broken.”

    Which means I will most likely miss a charity shoot scheduled for today.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Tis the state of things in construction

      • Not Adahn

        Holy shit! They’re here! I might actually make it to the shoot!

      • Not Adahn

        And Lily DOES NOT LIKE people in our yard. I’m so proud of her.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good girl! Protect yo’ man!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Argh! Drywaller that’s done work for me in the past hasn’t returned the message I left with his wife/receptionist last week. Neither has the shade tree mechanic.

      • Fourscore

        My replacement patio that was to be poured Thursday got rescheduled to Tuesday next. OTOH, after 5 years of promises we’re getting down to the wire. At least the old concrete is gone

  10. Lackadaisical

    They’re not even pretending any more.

    Super Sketch, and why is he always late to his speeches?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It gets harder and harder to find a vein for the shot.

      • Not Adahn

        They really should just implant a pump.

    • l0b0t

      Drools… Yes, please; one of each. There was fellow down in Tampa that was making MP5-PDW (K) conversions out of a bunch of pre-’86 sears. I’ve always wanted one. That and the wee AK variant; that’s about where my interest in modern firearms ends. Have you seen this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhfluziKZBY
      I’m quite interested in what you (and our other experienced pistol shooters’) think about the Cheek Pistol Concept.

      • EvilSheldon

        I internet-know Rhett a little bit. He’s an amazing shooter, and he puts a mind-boggling degree of focus into his training. But he’s got a bit of the Jelly Bryce problem – he has the physical capability to do some things that normal people just can’t.

        That said, the cheek pistol technique is a perfectly reasonable way to run a PDW-type weapon. Obviously it doesn’t work with conventional pistols, which makes it kind of a niche concept, but within that niche it’s a pretty big improvement.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That rifle has the lightest trigger I have ever touched.

        It’s like a feather.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        I recently bought a ’30s target Martini actioned rifle, the trigger is a nice factory 1 pound, if that, and breaks like the proverbial glass rod. Makes modern “safety” triggers feel like swinging a hammer through a box of rocks.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m still kicking myself for not buying one of those Kimber .22 that CMP had for years.

      • CPRM

        Full Moon is still around? Good for them? The guy who directed The Puppet Master was one of my profs in college.

      • R.J.

        Fantastic! You will enjoy next week’s movie and extended profile of Charles Band.

      • CPRM

        unfortunately I work nights, so can’t join in the conversation. But I did enjoy the first one. I remember when that that blasphemous movie came out.

        May I suggest Robot Ninja, it’s on youtube movies.

      • R.J.

        adding to the queue

    • Not Adahn

      Nope, haven’t seen that one yet.

      How many of the high peaks have you done? I’m a 2-er.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Ehhhhh…..I should be more into hiking, but a little averse to doing stuff like that alone – i mean I like a good hike, but I like to be alone on my vacations. And my knees are still giving me a lot of trouble. May try more in the future since this is probably the last time I’ll be up here alone.

      • EvilSheldon

        I also like to backpack solo, and I worry about hurting myself to the point that I can’t walk out. So I got one of these: https://buy.garmin.com/en-US/US/p/592606

      • LCDR_Fish

        I’ve actually given myself a busy schedule that involves a meal in Lake Placid nearly every day getting reacquainted with the local breweries- that will involve a lot of sobering walks around mirror lake and similar routes.

    • rhywun

      President Joe Biden’s new vaccine mandates for federal employees don’t apply to members of Congress or those who work for Congress or the federal court system.

      New to me and completely unsurprising.

      What more do you need to know in order to understand what this is really all about?

      • LCDR_Fish

        Much like the obamacare “mandates ” – always different rules for different animals.

      • Tonio

        Separation of powers, bro, totes legit.

    • Ghostpatzer

      So they’re all going to die? Hmm…

      • Gender Traitor

        No you’re just getting our hopes up!

        Can we save Rand? And maybe Massie?

    • l0b0t

      USPS is exempt as well. That tells me all I need to know.

      • Tonio

        They are no longer an actual federal agency, even though they retain many powers as if they were.

      • Gender Traitor

        And yet I suspect they have more than 100 employees…though if they don’t, that would explain the state of the delivery service on our Official Afterthought route.

      • Fourscore

        Sure, but how many workers? Huh? Huh?

      • LCDR_Fish

        Its weird – they do hire through Usajobs.gov (I’ve thought about something with them if I move to the middle of nowhere – not least because I can keep contributing to my TSP too).

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Well the Dems damn well better step up and rectify that oversight by ordering compliance. If not, they’re cowards.

    • creech

      Kids masking for school is so damned important that the L.A. School District is giving them until mid-December to get vaccinated or stay home. Nice to know that the virus is so “contagious and deadly” that, nonetheless, kids can keep spreading it for three months! How do these “guardians of public health” manage to come up with policies that tick off both the Karens and the anti-vaxxers? Oh, that’s right, they “follow the science.”

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        These assholes wouldn’t know actual science if it bit them in the ass. And it is increasingly looking like they don’t understand politics either.

        Totalitarianism, on the other hand…

  11. Not Adahn

    Lily has destroyed her cone of shame — although like her owner, she doesn’t seem to actually feel shame. So she’s destroyed her cone of “get this fucking thig off of me.”

    I’m proud of her.

    And since she seems uninterested in ripping open her abdominal wall, I’m not overly worried.

    • Not Adahn

      [Scene: Vet’s office lobby]

      Not Adahn: (reading itemized bill) I don’t see any tranquilizers on here.

      Vet Tech: Oh, the gabapentin’s usually enough to keep them mellow. If you need more you can always call us. Now, keep her from playing hard, running, jumping, climbing stairs…

      *Lily jumps onto bench, climbs onto window sill*

      Vet Tech: Ok, let’s get her some Trazadone. Now, start with one and a half tablets every twelve hours…

      *Lily pees on Vet Tech’s foot, jumps up and paws mask off of Vet Tech’s face*

      Vet Tech: Start with two tablets every eight hours…

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh, that lively Lily! She’s a real go-getter!

      • Tres Cool

        I had my previous (female) boxer spayed at the same time we (me & ex-MsTres) did her mom’s dog. Along the same line, the vet said “keep her calm”. Tell that to a young boxer. Dropper the other dog off 1st. We both went into the house since boxer seemed still sedated. Came out to find her sitting in the front seat, stitches torn, bleeding, and viscera poking out. She was totally oblivious and licking the glass. Then it was an immediate trip back to the vet.
        Last summer, this boxer had ear surgery to remove some inflamed hematomas from shaking his head. Again, the directions were, “keep him quiet”. Ears wrapped in gauze, then more wrapped around his head to hold THAT in place, and cone of shame. We didnt make it 1/2 mile down the street before I looked back and saw blood & gauze smearing the inside of the cone. Another U-turn, and back to the vet….

        Boxers.

    • The Last American Hero

      We’ve had great luck with the surgical sleeves, sort of like a baby onesie for a dog. Dog didn’t mind the outfit.

    • creech

      I thought at first this post was about Lily the AT&T girl. What the hell happened to her? They have to hide her behind something in every ad.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’m guessing she is/was pregnant. They did the same thing with Jan(?) the Toyotathon chick.

  12. LCDR_Fish

    Didn’t want to hijack mookmans’s thread above but saw Spike Cohen post this remembrance today too -https://twitter.com/RealSpikeCohen/status/1436655307443277827?s=19

    • Ghostpatzer

      Thanks. That’s a tough one, on the cusp of retirement and had just one more thing to do…

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      WTF is that shit?

      It’s like feeder lanes but even more retarded.

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, I try to avoid Kingston itself if I can help it. There’s no rhyme or reason to the roadwork or which roads are one-way and which two-way.

        But the biggest liquor store in the area is actually in Kingston.

      • Not Adahn

        I have a friend that inherited a mansion in Kingston. Unemployed, rented out the basement. Unusual lifestyle.

      • LCDR_Fish

        They have a section for “loading” on the curbside, but driver is expected to walk through traffic at an intersection. So stupid.

    • DrOtto

      That looks like something the city of Austin would come up with. Then count it as lane miles added due to the bike lane. Is Kingston a Vision Zero city? I ask because the alleged goal of Vision Zero is to reduce auto/pedestrian deaths, but throwing more pedestrians in the way of traffic seems counter to that movement and almost seems like they are really trying to punish motorists for being motorists, but what do I know?

      • Gustave Lytton

        That’s Zero Vision. Fuckers around here stole a lane of traffic on a major street for bikes and wrecked the timing synchronization, and they’re only getting started. There’s another street with that parking in the middle but it hasn’t spread yet.

      • blackjack

        We have that crazy shit all over the place. What fucking moron thinks L.A. needs a road diet? If only there were less lanes, people would ride their bicycles 26 miles over the hill to work instead of those nasty cars. Fucking retards.

      • CPRM

        When they started proposing all the roundabouts around Green Bay, it was noticed (before it was built, luckily) that one of the proposed roundabouts wouldn’t have enough clearance for a company on that road to have room for it’s trucks to actually make it through. #TopMen.

    • Zwak, jack off, all trades

      What the ever-loving fuck is up with Progs and roundabouts? They have fucked up the PNW, Sacramento, and everything else they can get their grubby little hands on with these idiocies.

      • UnCivilServant

        Because they’re very european.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Springtucky trying to shed that label by working over Glenwood put not one but a double roundabout in. Worse, because they’re idiots, they couldn’t have a straight exit from the roundabout, they have another S curve because the existing street doesn’t line up at a 90 degree.

      • LCDR_Fish

        I’ve seen a few new ones that are presumably working in Central VA. On Rte 20 south of Orange, it used to be a 2 way stop (20 N/S was good – it was the cross road) until some truck blew through it and blew up the convenience store on the corner (literally). Cheaper than traffic lights i guess – or at least requires a slow down.

      • CPRM

        Next town over, that is bigger than my town, has intersections with no stop signs or yield signs. #Anarchy!11!

        They actually run very smoothly, because unlike the streets with signs or lights, people actually pay attention.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Depends on circumstances and traffic amount – and time of day.

      • EvilSheldon

        Roundabouts, toll roads, bike lanes, Zero Vision, all of it is designed to make traffic worse, in order to discourage people from owning and driving cars.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Winner winner vegan dinner. “Twenty is plenty” signs paid for by the city are growing like weeds. Fuck those Sunday drivers. The state DOT is doing the same by creating constantly shifting morass of changing speeds on the highways and interstates. Lowering speeds due to “congestion” or other excuses that in reality aren’t obeyed and do nothing other than add unpredictability. Even the cops aren’t taking advantage of them to run speed traps.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        I like roundabouts. They keep traffic moving. But there are probably in appropriate at some intersections. We have on in my town the is just for decoration, which is stupid.

      • Mojeaux

        I, too, like roundabouts. I, too, think they are only suitable for certain intersections.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Great replacement for intersections that are outgrowing 4 way stops. Gets worse the more lanes you feed in.

  13. Ghostpatzer

    Adios, amigos. Time to go home and hug the wife one more time. Many never got another chance.

    • Tonio

      You would know that, of course.

      Stay tuned, folks. Pat has a 9/11 remembrance piece posting at 11:00 CT today.

      • hayeksplosives

        Thanks, Tornio.

  14. Pi Guy

    Heard in the 2000s:

    “Water covers 3/4 of the Earth’s surface. Ed Reed covers the rest.”

    • Old Man With Candy

      That’s great! Watching the guy every week was amazing- it was like he had ESP and knew where the ball was going to go.

      Only defensive back I ever liked better was Bernard Pollard, but that wasn’t because of his skills, but because of this.

  15. Gender Traitor

    Completely OT – our out-of-the-ordinary project for the weekend is to take the bricks our next-door neighbors gave us – left over from the outside patio they put in on the far side of their enclosed patio room – and start building a fire pit in the middle of our “pitcher’s mound,” the large rise left when a huge tree was reportedly removed from the middle of our back yard before we bought the place. We don’t have enough bricks yet to build it up to full height (whatever that should be,) but with any luck, what we have should give us a course or two.

    • Not Adahn

      I’m thinking about doing a firepit this winter, get rid of some of the dead branches.

      • Gender Traitor

        We have a fair amount of such debris along the fence at the back of the yard – probably mostly branches we’ve cut off the damn honeysuckles.

    • CPRM

      A couple years ago my little brother removed a chimney from his house. He used the bricks to build a forge.

      • Gender Traitor

        Does he make swords that will keeeeeel??

      • CPRM

        He’s only made crude knives so far. But we did attend this event many years ago and he aspirations to make swords. That guy won on Forged in Fire a few years later.

      • EvilSheldon

        Wicked cool! Blacksmithing is great fun.

    • UnCivilServant

      But then where are the chairs going to go?!

      • Gender Traitor

        Why, around the fire pit, of course! When we have andouille-nee roasts! ? You have a standing invitation… but you can sit down if you’d rather.

        And there’ll still be places to sit in the shade at the back of the yard – just not too close to the bird feeders – and, as always, on Tranquility Base itself.

      • UnCivilServant

        Since the air force museum closes at 5pm, I may yet pester you when we’re in town.

      • Gender Traitor

        ?? Yay! Please do!

      • Gender Traitor

        (The plan is for the fire pit to be just about four feet in diameter, I believe.)

      • Tres Cool

        I dont do open burning (my pollution generally comes from industrial sources) but you’d want to look @ OAC 3745-19. I think the rule is still “not larger than 36″ x 24″ ”
        And of course what the City and or the RAPCA may have to say. Tres Sr. has a 36″ fire ring, and he’s anal enough to akshully get a permit from Vandalia each year. Which he laminates and keeps handy in the garage.

      • Gender Traitor

        What care we what any City says? We’re not in the city! And we bite our thumbs at the township!

        (OK, maybe we’ll shoot for a bit smaller – like 36″ diameter. More room for the chairs!)

      • Tres Cool

        Id enact your labor and research it for you, but the OEPA website doesnt like my VPN for some reason.

        Caveat emptor!

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks, but I’m not too worried. The next-door neighbors who gave us the bricks already built – and frequently use – their own fire pit, the folks on the other side of us are friendly with us and cool, and there’s no house behind us anymore (since the one that was there had a small fire – inside – and finally got torn down.)

    • R.J.

      If you are in DFW, I have a solid stack of house bricks 3’ x 4’ x 4’ high that I would love to get rid of. If that kind of brick helps. Could use it to line or do a foundation.

      • Gender Traitor

        ‘Fraid we’re just outside Dayton, OH, but thanks! I don’t suppose you could throw them that far? One at a time, of course.

      • R.J.

        Sadly no. I suppose I will have to keep leaving them in small stacks on random street corners…

  16. Annoyed Nomad

    OT: I watched the Netflix movie “Kate” last night and am highly anticipating the sequel.

  17. hayeksplosives

    Free the zebras!

    Zebes of the world, unite!

    That’s a thing, right?

    • Ghostpatzer

      “You have nothing to lose but your stripes!”

    • blackjack

      Do not attempt to adjust your set!

  18. The Other Kevin

    I would not want the job of swabbing a gorillas nose for a covid test.

    Good point I’ve seen lately: Biden is trying to force us to get vaccines. But come over the border illegally and no bad required. Maybe the GOP should introduce a bill requiring a vaccination before you can enter the country.

    • KSuellington

      I was in Mexico with the fam this past June and we were required to get a Vid test before we were allowed to get on a plane back home. It was highly stressful as the six year old went apeshit when he figured out what was happening. I had to hold him down for it as he was struggling the whole time. Then the stress of waiting for six hours to hear if we could travel home the next day. We go there every year and that was enough to make me not want to go back as long as that fucked up requirement is in place. The great part is that my buddy and his family came down to join us for several days. He lives in San Diego and the flight was way cheaper from Tijuana so he crossed the border directly to the Mexican airport. Because he was flying back into TJ he didn’t need a Vid test and didn’t need one to get back over the land border to the States. Science!!!

      • blackjack

        This is what my friends do. Walk across and fly from there.

      • KSuellington

        If I lived in SoCal I absolutely would do so. You gotta love how walking across the border is totes okay with no Vid test, but flying from the same place is verboten without a Vid test that you can do up to 72 hours before you get on board.

        I still haven’t patronized any restaurants or bars here since the vax passport bullshit went down. We are purposefully eating out tonight in the county next door to avoid that requirement. I may eventually have to break down if this goes on for years, but I am going to do everything possible not to (and I got the fuckin bullshit vax).

      • CPRM

        I maybe would have gotten the vax, at some point. But now it’s a no on principal principle.

      • KSuellington

        Absolutely, if I hadn’t gotten it back in April I would in no way do so now. I didn’t get it out of concern for catching the Vid, I got it because my sister had just had a kid and my brother was about to and was getting family pressure to get it so we could all get together. I also work in peoples’ homes and figured the small health risk it entailed would be worth it to worry less about potentially catching it and spreading it to customers.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Principles? What are those?

        I think everyone in my company has given in to the attestation because NBD, right? And are going to be shocked to discover it’s not just going to be used for this current round of covid vax, but future ones, other vax, and finally any other health record that could possibly be of use (oh, look at who has an expensive chronic health condition…. let’s terminate their worthless ass).

    • CPRM

      Just found about about the Doogie Howser, MD reboot this morning. It’s a sad sad situation.

      • rhywun

        That checks more boxes than I thought it would. Impressive.

      • Ted S.

        And it’s getting more and more absurd.

    • R.J.

      No.

    • R.J.

      Although that does bring up the concept of “Trigger Warning Theatre” that takes reviews to an absurd height of political correctness.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Indeed. It’s a tiny doll. A six year old could fuck Chucky up lickity split….then again, at least it isn’t another shitty zombie series/film…

    • EvilSheldon

      If John Waters isn’t involved, then just no.

  19. CPRM

    Ok…through a rabbit hole on one subject I came across this:

    Police Senior Sergeant
    City of Appleton

    [REDACTED] in 2017 was employed in City of Appleton and had annual salary of $82,473 according to public records. This salary is 126 percent higher than average and 164 percent higher than median salary in City of Appleton.

    according to govsalaries.com

    • Not Adahn

      I used to masturbate when I was a teenager and I didn’t have this problem back then.

      …but you stopped?

  20. Chafed

    Why what made Tom Landry an asshole? I don’t recall hearing anything bad about him.

    • Fourscore

      He wouldn’t wear his hat indoors.

    • R C Dean

      I’m guessing, he beat OMWC’s team way too many times.

      • ignoreLander

        Why what made Tom Landry an asshole? I don’t recall hearing anything bad about him.

        He wasn’t. OMWC is kind of an asshole with bad opinions on…. well…. Everything (still a fan OMWC). Pretty much anything that’s true or good, you can count on OMWC to say is false or bad. So, when you see OMWC links, either ignore them, or put on your opposite glasses.

  21. Tundra

    Good morning, peeps!

    Happy new year to some of you!

    • Chafed

      (((Thanks)))

    • Not Adahn

      “One in a million chance, doc!”

      • CPRM

        Cassie Wright, porn priestess, intends to cap her legendary career by breaking the world record for serial fornication. On camera. With six hundred men. Snuff unfolds from the perspectives of Mr. 72, Mr. 137, and Mr. 600, who await their turn on camera in a very crowded green room. This wild, lethally funny, and thoroughly researched novel brings the huge yet underacknowledged presence of pornography in contemporary life into the realm of literary fiction at last. Who else but Chuck Palahniuk would dare do such a thing? Who else could do it so well, so unflinchingly, and with such an incendiary (you might say) climax?

      • Tres Cool

        Ms. Wright had me at “porn priestess”.
        Where do I sign-up/send money ?

      • Tres Cool

        NVM….I just did a quick image search.

        Its like Ru Paul had a baby with The Fabulous Moolah from WCW.

      • Tres Cool

        I meant GLOW.

      • Chafed

        I thought you like your women cold, black, and half full of alcohol?

  22. Q Continuum

    “They’re not even pretending any more.”

    Judging by my friends and acquaintances, all but the most rabid leftists are coming to the conclusion that Biden is a senile, dictatorial disaster. Not that it matters anyway; the electoral machine is well in place.

    • CPRM

      Sadly, not the interpretation anyone around me seems to have, except those that had it from the first point.

      • creech

        ditto

    • Chafed

      I’m genuinely curious to know what they say/acknowledge/confess.

      • Q Continuum

        The most common by far is the state of the economy and price of goods. These are mostly people I work with who are “progs of convenience”; they want to be seen as “good people” so they vote Dem by default. Many are Branch Covidians who are more than happy to toss people on the funeral pyre for going maskless, but even they can’t avoid getting pissed off paying 3x more at the pump. Many also meekly admit that he doesn’t seem all there when giving a speech.

        I’m not saying they would necessarily vote differently if given a do-over, but it’s nothing like the Messiah, he-can’t-do-wrong attitude with Captain Zero.

      • Chafed

        Makes sense. Thanks.

      • Chafed

        ?

      • KSuellington

        I’m waiting for the inevitable moment when it becomes so blatantly obvious that it can’t be hidden from anyone. I have a bet with my brother that he wouldn’t be able to fulfill four years. I’m liking my chances right now a whole lot.

      • Chafed

        I wouldn’t bet against you.

    • CPRM

      It’s a snake.

    • UnCivilServant

      Well fed.

      Are you missing any pets or small children?

    • CPRM

      Google image search says Grass Snake. Hm, that ain’t at all what we call a grass snake around here looks like.

      • Tundra

        It’s a long way from home, then.

        The grass snake is widely distributed in mainland Europe, ranging from mid Scandinavia to southern Italy. It is also found in the Middle East and northwestern Africa.

      • CPRM

        I know! Right?! (I did read the link before posting, you stepped snek joke!)

      • Tundra

        *skates to box – feels shame*

      • CPRM

        If even 1/4 of what I posted were serious, you’d be a grandpa. So embrace the jokes, gramps.

      • Fourscore

        At least the Hair/Hat are biographical, right?

    • creech

      Looks like a garter snake that’s just had a nice meal.

    • EvilSheldon

      It’s a Garter Snake of some kind. Probably a Common Garter Snake, Thamnophis Sirtalis by the coloration. Where’s it located?

      • Tundra

        CO. On the path by my house.

      • EvilSheldon

        That makes him (or her) a Plains Garter Snake, Thamnophis Radix. Cute little guy, and obviously well-fed.

      • CPRM

        Agents 47?

    • Loveconstitution1789

      Notice nobody wearing a mask?

  23. Loveconstitution1789

    DOCUMENTARY: So I watched Nazis in the CIA today on Amazon Prime.

    Interesting comments by historians. They claim that the OSS/CIA brought Nazis associated with intelligence services to the USA or allowed them to move into high ranking positions around the World including West Germany. They also claim that with Nazis in South America, the illegal cocaine drug trade allowed the Nazis to print money for their national intel service and the CIA siphoned off money for their clandestine operations they wanted off Congressional books. The CIA helped protect certain growers from competitors and made sure it got into the USA. Of course, the War on Drugs was all part of this to drive up the price.

    Let that sink in.

    Anyone who thinks that American govt officials have not gone off the reservation have lost their minds. Many of these bureaucrats are long dead but they left a legacy and what is that legacy? They wanted to get rid of Donald Trump who wanted to put America first, so that tells me that modern American intel services do not put America first and might harm America if it benefits their interests, what those interests are.

    • CPRM

      So, in summary, you’re saying Nazis are anti-Trump and they ride dinosaurs they engineered on the moon? Makes sense.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        potato…potatoe

  24. slumbrew

    Shana Tova to all the (((Glibs)))!

    My MIL’s coming was excellent, as ever.

    Now I just need to convince my wife that, yes, she should drive down to her mom’s for Yom Kippur.

    I’d like to pass on spending the day with a hangry Jewess if at all possible.

    • slumbrew

      *cooking, dammit.

      Stupid phone.

      • CPRM

        I don’t care if you corrected it!

        My MIL’s coming was excellent, as ever.

        #AVNAWARDS2021

      • slumbrew

        She’s a nice lady but *shudder* no.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Heh, that was some solid phrasing there.

    • KSuellington

      Shana Tova right back at ya. Did you get a chance to watch the F1 sprint this morning? I really like the concept for several races a year. Monza is one of my favorite tracks, lots of high speed there, the GP tomorrow should be interesting. Hope you get to watch it with a full belly from your MIL’s cooking.

      • slumbrew

        Yep, I’m liking the occasional sprint. Looking forward to tomorrow – it’s a great track.

    • Loveconstitution1789

      My MIL’s coming was excellent, as ever.

      So that’s how it is in that family…

    • The Other Kevin

      See my comment above. The GOP should write bills to require every one of those staffers to get vaccinated, and require everyone who crosses the border to have a vax card. Let’s get these people’s hypocrisy on the record, and see how the next election goes.

  25. JG43

    My little county, Calhoun (Illinois), is having its annual county fair this weekend. Probably a thousand people there last night. Only saw three in masks, inside or out. Even the EMTs there were having none of it.

    • creech

      On the other hand, Karen and Soyboy types would not attend “county fairs” so there were no Viruscops there to rat out the non-maskers.

  26. Loveconstitution1789

    Venice Councilwomen File ‘Hate Crime’ Charges with LAPD Against Protestors Over Wednesday Attack

    Two women who were with Gubernatorial candidate Larry Elder in Venice Beach Wednesday say they were attacked by several protestors hurling eggs and racial epithets while walking through the Venice neighborhood. Soledad Ursua and Chie Lunn have filed police reports with the LAPD demanding the case be filed as a hate crime.

    Ursua says she and Lunn, both members of the Venice Neighborhood Council, “are the only women of color on the council,” and felt targeted.

    HAHA. This is the real story. Democrats are scared shitless that Larry Elder (Black American), Soledad Ursua and Chie Lunn (women of color) are rallying Californians away from the Democrat party. I thought White was a color but whatever.

  27. hayeksplosives

    I’m watching Joe vs the Volcano.

    I love that goofy movie, full of symbolism I relate to.

    Most underrated movie evah.

    • Loveconstitution1789

      Speaking of lightning…. I was 15ft from a lightning strike 2 days ago. It hit a tree 15 from my kitchen window. I thought a bomb went off in my yard and it was the brightest flash of bluish white light I have ever seen. My whole life flashed in front of my eyes.

  28. Tres Cool

    Im 2/3 drunk, sitting on the couch in my underwear, and watching THE Ohio State Buckeyes.
    Since I never make sound decisions when drinking @ this level, I may order White Castle.

    O-H….