Prologue, Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
“Madame President?” She heard the voice distantly, but kept staring at the screen. She had watched, even urged on, protests and riots in the past, on television and on Twitter… but this was different. Because unless she was losing her mind, on the screen Harmon Kendrick’s body was swinging from a lamppost in an intersection in the Northeast section of the District.
She just kept staring at the television.
Sure enough, scrolling across the bottom was a line about “disturbing footage” and there was his name, Harmon Kendrick, longtime DNC fundraiser and current White House Chief of Staff, his body mangled and strung from a lamppost, had been murdered.
He sure fucking was, she thought. That’s the only thing that came to her mind. His hands were missing, and what remained from his elbows to his…stumps was flapping the same way that his legs were from the shin down, like an understuffed scarecrow, dancing in the wind. His arms were out away from his sides and a banner was fastened across a piece of wood, so it almost looked like he was holding the banner, except that he had no hands: “Sic Semper” and three blobs was painted in a deep, crimson-brown. As she squinted at the screen, she could see that the banner and wood were held in place with spikes nailed to Kendrick’s forearms.
“Madame President?”
“O fucking what!?” She finally snapped.
“Ma’am,” the older gentleman’s face softened, “we think it’s time to move you to another location. We’re coordinating to have Air Force One meet us at Andrews. As your head of security-”
“This is nothing!” Her voice cracked as it rose in pitch. “The National Guard has the District under control.” She lowered her voice again.
“Ma’am,” the older gentleman began, “Mister Kendrick is hanging from a light-pole.” He looked back at the television. “His security detail is missing and his car is on fire. We saw some black man being chased into a closed Metro station and… The Speaker of the House isn’t answering-”
“-I’m declaring martial law.” She blurted it out and wasn’t sure she heard herself correctly. “I’m not fleeing. I will not fucking run.” She spoke more firmly. “I’m declaring martial law.”
“I’m the President of the U-ni- of the… fucking PSA. Do it!”
Around her people stared at each other and looked around for someone to say something to know where to start.
“Starting today there will be an eight pm nationwide curfew.” She bellowed. “You.” She pointed at a young woman in uniform, “Megan-”
The auburn-haired woman with two-stars on each of the shoulders of her blue blouse looked around beside her.
“Me?” she asked.
“Yes, that’s your fucking name, isn’t it!?”
“No, ma’am. My name is Margaret-”
“O, fucking whatever! Get the Secretary of Defense on the line for me right now! I’m invoking the Insurrection Act. Astrid,” she whirled on a lithesome young woman with a blond page-boy haircut, “round up the media flacks. I’m going to have a press conference – live – in 15 minutes. Let’s go!” The President snapped her fingers in the air. “Let’s go, people. Lincoln did this, too!”
Slowly, people began to move in response to her voice, less from a sense of urgency it seemed than from a sense to do something, anything beyond stand still and watch the chaos on the television. She didn’t care.
Martial law it will be, she whispered through gritted teeth.
I will not be remembered for… this.
Nice fan service there Ozy.
I duz what I canz.
Ooooh the universe is bleeding. Astrid appears!
Now the fun begins…when the hammer falls, it is never good for either side.
“No, ma’am. My name is Margaret-”
Kind of OT but on Monday my daughter was born two weeks and some change ahead of time and we named her Margaret Louise. My wife walked from work at around 9:15 and was like….”I think my water just boke.” And then drove herself to the hospital while I was waiting on my sister.
And as always Ozy, great story. The idea that the President thinks she’s in control while her Chief of Staff is swinging from the lampposts in DC sounds all too real and current.
Congratulations, Ed! That is awesome news!
All my best to you, mom and Margaret!
Did you get her vaccinated yet?
*cackles*
Congrats!
I got vaccinated as did my wife but I told her that getting our kids getting not vaccinated for COVID is a hill I’m willing to die on.
Congratulations, your first?
My wife did the same to me many years ago.
My second and probably my last. Lol.
I said the same thing, but one drunken night, not being careful, now I have three.
I wanted to name the youngest Sam, in honor of Sam Adams, but the wife wouldn’t let me.
So you named him Bud instead?
I knew a formerly closeted guy who named his kids “Brandy” and “Margarita.”
I am not making that up.
Was she such a fine girl?
Was the other one… *pulls off glasses* a bit salty?
Alas, I never met them. Amazingly enough, his ex-wife got custody of them when her preacher husband came out as gay.
That’s a great little anecdote.
No love for Alvan?
I wouldnt have Tres Version 2.0 if it wasnt for Crown Royal.
Huzzah! Congratulations, Ed! That’s a beautiful name. One of my best friends is “Margaret Louise” – she goes by “Peggie” which is perfect for her.
Black sheep of the family, but an absolute peach.
Best wishes on the bundle of joy. So sorry about the sleep you’ll be missing for the next bit. 😉
Congrats, Ed! Always a happy time.
Congratulations! Nice to see some very good news for a change.
Congratulations!
Congrats. One always wonders about the wisdom of bringing another life into this world, but “wonder” is the absolute word when you first hold your newborn in your arms.
Congratulations ?
Congratulations on the new human resource.
Congrats on the new arrival!
GRATS!!! It’s never boring. Good luck!
Congratulations on the little one!
Congrats Ed!
Congrats to you and the Mrs! Teach your children well (which is probably redundant coming from this site).
Congratulations! After the diapers comes Lego and invented curse words… again!
w00 h000 That is FANTASTIC! Congratulations and kudos to Mrs. Wuncler for her equanimity in the situation.
Glibertarian procreation is a joyous event! Congrats!
Congratulations to you and the missus!
And congrats to Margaret to being born to a freedom-loving family instead of to a couple of knucklehead Eloi.
Congratulations!
*celebratory gunfire*
? ?
With all the good news here on Glibs, I’m gonna have to restock the celebration ammo stash.
Congratulations Ed!
Congratulations! We named my number 2 in our household Margaret.
My wife walked from work at around 9:15 and was like….”I think my water just boke.” And then drove herself to the hospital while I was waiting on my sister.
You’ve got her trained well.
“What about your wife?”
“Oh, her? She’ll take the bus. She’s a rock.”
Well done sir. You’ve just completed part 1 of your most important contribution to the world.
Excellent, Mr (and Mrs) Wuncler.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTM40o3WgZo
I have one of each, plus 3 grand daughters. All are special but you already know that
Worlds collide!
Just fantastic, Ozy!
Next week can’t come soon enough.
I know something you don’t but I’ll not spoil a secret.
Thanks, OZY, you can trust me.
Thanks, Ron. Glad you’re enjoying it.
Hardcore.
Answers my question from last week.
This world is getting wild! what next? Elon shows up in a Tesla with Marilee riding shotgun?
Great stuff Ozy!
Hey! You been sneaking into my drive to read ahead?? 😉
It’s gonna be tough to work the dick rocket into all of this, but if that’s what the people want…
Nonnono, Bezos has the DickRocket, Elon’s actually go to orbit,
Good stuff, Oz. My breath is bated, awaiting the next installment.
It’s a weekly series, you need to breathe before next thursday. Breathe, man, breathe!
Astrid
The streams, they have crossed.
Ozy, I’ve been meaning to drop this when I saw you around. Pardon the OT, but:
As the fellow owner of a 1301, I thought I’d pass this along:
I’ve taken the Mesa Tactical rail and sidesaddle off of mine. It wouldn’t stop working loose, and I think its because the recoil would make the sidesaddle want to shift, since its only attached to the rail. There’s a possible fix, if you really want the combo, but it would involve getting some kind of high-adhesion double-sided pad that would fit between the sidesaddle and the receiver. I’ve heard this is a common problem with the screw on side saddles across multiple platforms – the weight of the shells off to the side of the gun just “works” the screws too hard on recoil.
I’ve got a couple of these. They seem very well made. The loops are extremely tight. Brand new, its not easy to get the shells in, but I expect them to stretch out some (I’ve got them full of shells right now). Haven’t actually stuck the velcro pad to the shotgun yet – probably this weekend.
I replaced the rail with one of these during a brief interval when they were available. Most excellent, if you are rocking a red-dot, and I find I like the co-witnessing. If their sidesaddles ever get back in stock, I will have a dilemma – they look best in class, but are priced accordingly.
No pardon necessary, RC! And thanks for the information.
I added the mag extender and then had to go secondary market for a piece that clamps onto the end for a light – it has a small piece of rail on it, as well, for a sling.
The site where I got that from is open about “this will rub your shotgun!” so I’m not really sure how I feel about the set up yet. Still an early work in progress, but what a joy to shoot!
Took it to the range once and had some fun. Sooooo much better with the gas-system. Now back in the OLD Corps…!
The site where I got that from is open about “this will rub your shotgun!”
Oh, it will, I have rub marks on mine from the Nordic barrel clamp. They have a silicone thingy that fits between the clamp and the barrel and mag tube that will prevent that, but, wait for it . . . out of stock. I may try to find something that I can jerryrig. OTOH – “Its a shotgun. It beats you up, you beat it up”. So spake The Front Sight instructor while giving an enthusiastic demonstration of how to clear a jam by pounding the stock on the ground.
I just got a rail mount for the mag tube, because the Nordic clamp puts the flashlight to the side, and I want it underneath. I might be able to fit both of them on there – I do like the clamp. Also on my list for the weekend.
Hey, RC – how many do you have? Did you get the full 7 shell holder, or something less? I’m curious how many fit comfortably along the stock.
I got the sixer. It fits. Not sure if you could get another shell on there.
Okay – thanks. Good info. I was thinking about a nickle. That’s a fair number that I think should be able to get me to…my (next) ammo cache.
Where does the bayonet go?
On the end, pointing away from you.
Secured with duct tape. It fixes everything right?
See, I would have said “pointing towards the bad guys,” but that’s just semantics, I guess.
Yes, I have looked for a bayonet mount. I haven’t found one. In any event, I suspect it would . . . complicate your self-defense claim.
If I ever found an old Winchester 97 trench gun with that yard-long bayonet they issued, I’d be tempted. There’s something very visceral (hah) about the idea of a would-be home intruder wriggling like a frog on a gig with 24″ of steel through his chest.
The Army used those (and Model 12s, and Stevens 520As) through both world wars. Plenty of German and Japanese soldiers found out the hard way that a magazine full of 00 buck slam-fired down a trench can ruin your whole day.
Ah, but those have a barrel shroud which makes them only suitable for murdering schoolchildren.
It’s my opinion that a man in his own home with a semi-auto shotgun is about as good as it gets for self-defense.
That’s a whole lot going in that person’s direction against an intruder.
I am hoping the club approves my game idea so I can play with my m3k this winter.
I’d accept that as an operating premise.
I’m more of a pump-gun guy, though, because I’ve used them all my life and am accustomed to them. Your mileage may vary.
#MeToo – but man, that semi-auto is just so niiiiiiice on the shoulder.
You are not wrong. Nothing else you can carry hits like a 12-gauge.
Unless you have an old M79 floating around. That would just be rad…
In Afghanistan we managed to get these.
Not too chabby.
Shit. Link fail.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCaO6Vw1CQY
Not so great for the carpets and walls, however.
“He ran at me and impaled himself” isn’t plausible?
https://youtu.be/7lyrBtcZCes
Closest i could find to the scene
It happens all the time to those dumb college kids.
https://www.apgdefense.com/product-page/universal-bayonet-mount
In the garbage where it belongs.
(runs and hides from UCS)
It’s ok, his guns don’t have bayonet lugs.
The French knew how to do it right – https://youtu.be/XuXFSmhS_1c
Ruh-roh.
WHITE SUPREMACISTS!!!11!!
Very good story. I really enjoy these pieces. Keep up the good work.
Thx, wd. This has been fun to write – particularly for this audience.
Also, just to pick up on the “fan service” comment – that’s an obvious homage to the Great One Touched by the Elder Gods himself, our very own SF.
There are some great writers here: Animal, Mojo, UCS, and on and on. I don’t always have time to comment, but JoeMala is an absolute treasure.
So was Hat and the Hair – including CPRM’s animated version.
I feel blessed to get to publish here, so just wanted to say a large thanks to all of the other folks who contribute to our little artist’s colony of non-conformists, as well as all of the commenters. I was a regular lurker at Reason for years, but didn’t know about the Glibbening until well after it happened. But I had noticed the marked decline in the IQ level of commenters after it happened. I stuck around long enough to see someone answer a question about what had happened and that led me here.
Its a riveting story Ozy. Really enjoying it.
Glad, OBE. See my reply to WTF. I think all of the “movement” happens in the next three weeks.
Good stuff Ozman!
When does Milley launch the nukes at Texas?
The comments here are always such a great source of ideas for a writer.
Better than anything I could come up with on my own.
oh shit
OT:
https://www.anandtech.com/show/16960/intel-loihi-2-intel-4nm-4
Nice one, Ozy, thanks. Now that you’ve used the lamppost, how do you plan to work in a woodchipper?
*Waggles eyebrows*
“Starting today there will be an eight pm nationwide curfew.” She bellowed. “You.” She pointed at a young woman in uniform, “Megan-”
The auburn-haired woman with two-stars on each of the shoulders of her blue blouse looked around beside her.
“Me?” she asked.
“Yes, that’s your fucking name, isn’t it!?”
“No, ma’am. My name is Margaret-”
I chuckled at this part.
I like the inclusion of Astrid.
I like the detail that she’s a media herder and has a short haircut.
From Q:
If you read this link you will realize you went into the wrong profession. We all could have made money studying female orgasms. *sigh*
If only my high school counselor had told me.
In my experience, female orgasms tend to align with the expense side of the income statement, not the revenue side.
Am I doin’ it wrong?
Apparently so.
Where does one sign up to be a subject for such experiments? Asking for a friend.
Kind of hard to do a double-blind experiment there….
“Whoa, whoa, wrong hole!”
“No, I’m pretty sure that’s your vagina.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yep, that’s what the procedure says.”
“Oh, well, OK then. Proceed.”
I was at a dinner with my in laws a little after that the Afghanistan withdrawal debacle and I made a comment that if there any justice in the world, a lot of lampposts would be decorated with our political leadership’s bodies.
They did not take that comment well.
Duh. Who wants to attract crows and flies to the yard?
They’ll have to put up with you in order to see the baby, though. (Congrats!)
That’s my stock answer when people ask me “but what will it take to stop this?”
Where we’re at right now is too many people are still too comfortable and have too much to lose to seriously resist. But if the mandarinate keeps on with their bullshit, and they will, there will become a tipping point where enough people are in a bad enough position to say “fuck it”, and then shit will go sideways a lot more quickly than most people assume.
Great stuff, Ozy, I’m enjoying this immensely!
Yup. Revolutions don’t happen when people are comfortable. We’re very much still in the prep phase right now. The trick is to stay free and healthy and connected enough to still be effective when it does go sideways…
You might be interested to read The Anatomy of Revolution. According to the author, a revolution has more to do with gubmint taking more and more $ from people who are doing well, while giving them less say in politics. The people who start a revolution may be comfortable when they do; and they’re not the peasants.
I would indeed be interested. Who’s the author?
Crane Brinton
I’ve heard the same. I think it matches with most revolts in history. Peasant revolts are the exception not the norm.
Right on!! I hope you’ll like the next few chapters.
I particularly like what’s coming next week… and the week after that.
…But the week after that is the payoff. 😉
I’m sure I will continue to love it! Can’t wait!
Sounding like a certain government official…just another week 🙂 Really looking forward to them.
A life cut down in her prime
https://apnews.com/article/coronavirus-pandemic-europe-health-pandemics-connecticut-34a70ec8c61abe37abac05d985a8c76f
Oh…she was 105.
Money quote “I think my mother would have been around quite a bit longer” if she hadn’t contracted COVID,”
Sad she passed but uh…a fart in the wrong direction would have taken her out of this world at that point.
But who was the unclean one who brought them the breakthrough case?
Some goddam rethuglican, anti-vaxxer, backwoods hick in Idaho, no doubt.
Larry the cable Guy buying flowers for his dead 105 yo grandmother and the flower guy asks:
“how did she die?”
“How’d she die, she flipped her Harley at bike week.” “How’d she die, she was 105, that’s how she died!”
Therapeutics, what are they even?
https://www.zerohedge.com/covid-19/texas-acquires-covid-19-monoclonal-antibodies-bypassing-biden-hhs-limits-governor
I wonder if Fauci has any patents on those treatments.
Florida has already done the same. Counting down the days until Biden doubles down and fires off another EO blatantly aimed at punishing red states.
I saw one of these pulling a 5th wheel camper that looked like a regular trailer the other day, now I want one!
That is crazy. It’ll make you do a double take I’m sure.
Between the hard work of a man in a can here, the Presbyerian Church in SC and a local Calvary Chapel locally also standing against the mandate, I believe that I will envoke that path with my work. Really thought and prayed on it and initially didn’t want to just envoke God for the sake of it, but with conviction. I am still in my heart about it.
Can’t spell. Presbyterian and I think that church is actually in Cali, not SC… Anyway, that was the denomination I was baptized into, just out in California. Long-standing beliefs and all that jazz
Hey guys, what was the url of those guys making masks that are just as effective as the cloth ones that most people wear but are more comfortable to breathe through that Hayek mentioned in a recent comment?
I’m uh asking for a friend… for novelty purposes. 😉
These? https://www.minimallycompliantmasks.com/shop
Yes!!!!
Thanks.
I got a couple of those. Wore a mech one to the eye doctor. Doc didn’t say anything about it. But I think he knew.
TSA made a buddy of mine replace it with a paper one. Same with a stewardess. But he said that’s been it out of many trips and corporate-land adventures.
Well worth the $18.00
Or https://fakemaskusa2.com
The creepy weirdo just can’t help himself.
He cannot resist the fragrance of Garnier Fructis.
Is he boxing her in? Geesh. Only cool if wife/girlfriend or someone you really know but yeah..
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/51/3c/1c/513c1cafad9cb3fa0f52028f25ac8788.jpg
Mrs. TOK: “OMG I’ve seen 10 messages on Facebook today, Got a booster! Got a booster!”
Me: “You should start posting things like Took my vitamins today! Drank water today! Took a shit today! Or maybe I’ll just log on and reply to all of them with NOBODY CARES. “
“I’m so sorry your original vaccine didn’t work, even though the government pinky-swore that it would. Better luck with that booster!”
You go Florida Man!
That it is not a democracy and is designed to move slowly?
What does it say about the system that two senators can singlehandedly block progress on a slew of policies supported by the vast majority?
It says that the system is remarkably well-designed.
a slew of policies supported by the vast majority
I’ve heard Manchin and Sinema are blocking the spending bills, but this makes it sound like they are blocking some popular proposals. What would those be?
“…supported by the vast majority…”
I don’t think he understands what “vast” means.
A margin of 6 million people in California.
A margin of 6 million
people“votes” in California.TW: ?
I’d smack that asshole for saying “supported by the vast majority”, but it would be punching down.
I prefer punching down. You get better leverage, and you can really put your weight behind it.
Policies supported by the “vast majority”. hmmm
They were elected as moderates and if they don’t stick to that they’ll be out. Democrats don’t have any mandate this radical.
https://www.cnet.com/news/no-time-to-die-ending-explained-how-daniel-craigs-final-james-bond-adventure-wraps-up/
SPOILERS
But it’ll probably save you a couple of hours of your life.
I’m still sitting here, hoping for a Matt Helm movie series…
Only Dean Martin could be Matt Helm. Who could replace him?
Probably not the fulfilling of your wish…
https://deadline.com/2018/03/matt-helm-movie-tom-shepherd-writing-bradley-cooper-paramount-1202325873/
What? They give a white cishet male a deadly virus then blow him up?
No Time To Die doesn’t have a post-credits scene, but if you stick around to the end you’ll see the classic words “James Bond will return.”
The phrase has never been more reassuring, but we don’t know yet who’ll be taking over from Craig.
Well, the number 007 position just conveniently opened up and they cast a black chick in this one, so…
I gotta run, but next week’s chapter is in the queue.
Cheers!
Nice work Ozy.
Great story, Ozy
https://abc7.com/usps-slowing-down-mail-delivery-post-office-hours-slowdown/11064322/
We can’t expect efficiency or speed from a government agency. But we shouldn’t expect them making the services worse.
Amazon delivered something to me at 6am this week. Dissolve the usps.
Two weeks ago I got a delivery from FedEx at 2pm…on a Sunday.
https://www.boston.com/news/business/2021/09/30/smith-wesson-to-move-headquarters-out-of-massachusetts/
Smith & Wesson announces it will move its headquarters out of Massachusetts, citing proposed ban on making assault weapons
They’re moving to Tennessee. And Ford’s building Blue Oval City here, too.
Deplorables one and all. Good riddance.
Good for them.
Still leaving a thousand production jobs.
Those are harder to move quickly. Give ’em time.
That’s what I get for not following the link.
https://www.nbc15.com/2021/09/29/curderburger-culvers-will-turn-april-fools-joke-into-reality-one-day-only/
Mmmmm…cheese curds…
I’d happily murder one of those, even though my colon would punish me for it afterwards.
USA! USA! USA!
I would hit that so hard…