Wednesday Afternoon Sugarlink – New Car, Caviar, Four-Star Daydream

by | Sep 22, 2021 | Daily Links | 312 comments

What Is Money?

A Jezebel Special Report

Money—what is it? It’s 75 percent cotton and 25 percent linen, according to the Treasury Department’s Bureau of Engraving and Printing website, whose official URL is moneyfactory.gov. If you’re in America, it’s green. In other countries it can be a different color, maybe even a different shape.

People often exchange money, made at the government’s money factory, for the goods and services they need to live. Cardi B’s hit song about money, “Money,” has perhaps one of the best explanations of how money works: “Shake a little ass / You get a little bag and take it to the store.”

Because who better to report on monetary theory than a writer for a D- comedy website?


 

True SugarFree Facts: On the new Work/Life survey I was forced to take, there was a blank space at the end to answer the question: What do you think would improve the workplace?

I wrote: Dispensers of Adderall, Xanax, and Vicoden in every work area.


 

Kamala Harris DEMANDS investigation into the Biden/Harris Administration’s bungling of the handling of Haitian immigrants at the southern border.

[cough]Biden taps VP Harris to lead response to border challenges[cough]


 


 

A TikTok Trend Has Kids Barking & Wearing Dog Collars At School

 

The ‘Devious Licks’ TikTok Trend Is Getting Teens Arrested

 

Multiple Teens Need Surgery After Copying a Dangerous TikTok Trend—and Parents Are Issuing a Warning

 


 

My Fall 2021 vibe

 

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

312 Comments

  1. SDF-7

    True SugarFree Facts: On the new Work/Life survey I was forced to take, there was a blank space at the end to answer the question: What do you think would improve the workplace?

    I wrote: Dispensers of Adderall, Xanax, and Vicoden in every work area.

    Frankly — you being you — they got off amazingly lucky. You could have recommended Hats for all…

    • The Other Kevin

      That blank space probably wasn’t big enough for some of his more recent work.

      • SDF-7

        They’ve got a blank space — and he’ll write their names?

        (Alternate response: They’ve got a lot of Starbucks lovers?)

    • waffles

      I really, really, want to work there. I’d work so fucking hard and be so productive too. I’d probably get caught doing something perverted on company time but my work product would be so good it wouldn’t even matter. No hats.

    • Rat on a train

      blackjack and hookers?

    • SugarFree

      I wanted to be the change I want to see in the world.

      • SDF-7

        Oh barf… they keep trying to push a class along those lines at me… I keep ignoring the “sign up for your class time!” mails until someone forces me to.

        I don’t need to bring my “complete self” to work — I just need to do the damned job you hired me to do.

        I don’t need to “be the change I want to see in the world” because frankly, most of the changes in the world suck and Coolidge had it right.

        I don’t need to be preached at, converted or treated like a gorram child by my employer because they think we should all agree on their political and social positions. Just let me do the damned job you hired me to do and shut the hell up, HR / Internal Propaganda….

        Yeah, I’m touchy on the subject I think.

      • waffles

        You sound like a dangerous malcontent. I’d hire 7 of you.

      • SugarFree

        Our Diversity and Racism seminars have gone mandatory. Hopefully, we will have them before they are in person. I can zone out in Zoom like a master.

      • SDF-7

        I think ours are mandatory as well, but like all things from a multinational – pretty sure they’re just going to be some web based slide deck with a lame ass quiz. Last year’s ended with a “Do you commit to be an ally?” or somesuch — and while I half expected it would torpedo my job, I answered honestly with “No”.

      • R C Dean

        During ours (in-person), I was waiting for a question about whether we knew anyone who had been denied opportunities because of their “identity”.

        *R C raises hand*

        “I have seen that happen. There was an opening at the UW Law School for a professor. I talked to a friend who was on the faculty, who was a white man. He told me not to waste my time applying, because there’s no way they were going to hire a white male for it.”

        Sadly, the question was never asked.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        *trashy raises hand*

        “Y’all pay bonuses to hiring managers who hire women and PoCs into management positions”

      • R C Dean

        I don’t need to bring my “complete self” to work

        “Are you sure, absolutely sure, you want me to bring my complete self to work? Because I’m thinking you’d prefer the self-edited version you’ve been getting.”

      • SDF-7

        Ha! I really should save that up for when I inevitably have to take that damned class…

      • Bobarian LMD

        “complete self”

        You’d probably have to fire that guy and pay loads of comp to the people he traumatized.

      • EvilSheldon

        *chuckle*

        If I brought “my complete self” to work, it would end up somewhere between a 72-hour involuntary psych hold, and a police standoff.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Dispensers of Adderall, Xanax, and Vicoden in every work area.

      Pre-chopped, and cut into lines?

      Because who has the time?

  2. SDF-7

    Re: TikTok links — kids/teens can be dumb and peer pressure is a thing. News at 11. 😉

    At least it isn’t Tide pods this time around….

    • The Other Kevin

      Kids always did stupid stuff, it’s just that now they feel the need to broadcast it to the entire world. Not long ago our 16yo had a bad breakup with her boyfriend, and burned some of his stuff. Not unusual, people sometimes even have ring destruction ceremonies when they divorce. But she put it on social media, someone showed it to the ex, then he showed his mom, then she called us… oy.

      • SDF-7

        Now being relative. I remember the Eternal September and while the web sites change, the posing remains the same.

      • waffles

        I’m so glad I didn’t have social media until after my teenage years.

      • SugarFree

        Me too. I did some really dumb shit. I’d like to think I would have been smart enough not to broadcast it.

      • waffles

        I’d like to think so too but I know the truth.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I actually blame CKY2K for it and not social media.

      • Rat on a train

        Sexting in the 8-bit days …

      • Ownbestenemy

        Well the 1 does go in the 0 naturally and if you are a teen, going 4 times was an achievement

      • SDF-7

        Q, in the Study, with the dot matrix girlie pic….

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        My personal favorite dumb shit moment was putting gasoline on the bottoms of my sneaks, lighting it and running like a wild man across the yard.

        It was all fine until I stopped running.

      • Ted S.

        For some reason I find myself thinking of Richard Pryor.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It was about the same period of time.

      • Rat on a train

        Dodge roman candle. Tennis with flaming tennis balls. Cross street lawn darts. CO2 canister launchers. And other stuff.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        We made pipe bombs and ignited them in the country club water hazards.

        I did know some other kids who had free range on a golf course due to finding out the greenskeeper’s blow habit and blackmailing him. The damage/fun was intense.

      • Not Adahn

        I have photographs. Hidden in a box on a shelf under old towels in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying “beware of the leopard.”

      • Animal

        Some of us grew up without social media, and then ended up writing stories about the dumb shit we did as teenagers and posting it on the interwebs anyways. Go figure.

      • Brett L

        Still verifying the statute of limitations on mine before starting my confessions memoirs.

      • R C Dean

        Key difference:

        The statute of limitations has run on all that. These idiots will post real-time videos documenting their own assaults on other people.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      You’re a fucking pussy if you don’t take the nitric acid challenge.

      • Rat on a train

        Colt 45 challenge. No, the other one.

      • EvilSheldon

        Mixing it with Sulfuric acid and Hexamine in a dry ice bath?

  3. JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

    Money is 75% cotton? You know who else used cotton? This is so problematic. Down with capitalism, man!

    • SDF-7

      Didn’t Canada or the UK or one of those Commonwealth countries move to mostly plastic monopoly money in the last decade? Not that it matters… just random trivia.

      The whole article could be summed up with “Money is a way to exchange the value of goods and services so you don’t have to haul a cow or a wheelbarrow of turnips down to Starbucks for your coffee” (Apparently, my responses today brought to you by overly burnt terrible coffee…. )

      • The Other Kevin

        I would add, “And even though it seems silly to use a piece of paper with a picture on it, as long as everyone agrees it’s worth something, it works.”

      • Rat on a train

        With the money factory going brrrrr, we could switch to leaves.

      • SDF-7

        Then money really *would* grow on trees! Brilliant! /Krugman

      • Sensei

        So deflationary deforestation program.

      • Rat on a train

        Beyond the THGTTG reference, I figure I would do better than the city folk. Although I would have to collect the leaves instead of mulching them.

      • Sensei

        “This planet has – or rather had – a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn’t the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”

      • SDF-7

        Yup — though you can argue *everything* has value simply because someone has decided it does [usually because they need it for something]. And how much value depends on the perceived need, etc. etc. etc….

      • Swiss Servator

        “The value of a thing, is what that thing will bring.”

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        Yeah, our bill money’s plastic now. It has its advantages, including being able to tell the reluctant vendor at the Farmers’ Market that “if you’re afraid of the ‘Vid, just spray ’em down with Fantastik.”

        Still feels weird, though.

      • Raven Nation

        Australia & New Zealand also.

  4. EvilSheldon

    “I wrote: Dispensers of Adderall, Xanax, and Vicoden in every work area.”

    We call that an Orange County Highball.

    • SDF-7

      What is Brett up to these days? 😉

      [I kid, I kid… I remember he’s busy with a new little one and his wife had surgery and whatnot… just too easy of a cheap shot not to take on our resident Florida Man. And yes, I know Orange County is CA — but you know FL would work too…]

      • Brett L

        No benzos for me, thanks. I don’t do anything that will physically kill me if I go through a withdrawal. And yeah, its a fucking circus here. I’m gonna get one of those shirts that says, “This IS my circus, those ARE my monkeys”.

      • EvilSheldon

        Word. If I had to pick between a benzo habit and a heroin habit, I’d take the junk.

      • waffles

        Kicking opiates is like a flu. Kicking benzos is a panic attack with a seizure risk. Kicking amphetamines is lethargy and sleepiness. I know which I’d choose.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I take valium occasionally for an auto-immune problem that causes muscle tension.

        I have to tell myself “Well, I get to take one today and then two days form now I can have another if I need it.”

        It’s too bad, because it really is a nice mood relaxer as well.

      • SugarFree

        Brett can handle his shit, man. He’s like a shark, 1/3 liver by weight.

      • SDF-7

        Good to hear from you, sir — didn’t expect to force you out of seclusion. Hope things at least settle into a semi-stable pattern of chaos (which seems to be the most folks can hope for).

      • Brett L

        I think I’ve made it to the site twice this month. It’s fate! Or randomness. I can never tell.

      • EvilSheldon

        An Orange State Highball is a gram of glass dissolved in a 40 of Strawberry Cisco.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I don’t even know what those are.

      • EvilSheldon

        Glass = high-quality crystal meth.

        Cisco = you’re better off not knowing.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ahhh, Thunderbird for coeds

      • Count Potato

        It’s more of a “bad” neighborhood thing, than a college thing.

      • Count Potato

        Water, sugar, alcohol, meth, citric acid, red dye, and artificial strawberry flavor.

    • Rat on a train

      It has really changed since the fall of the Orange Curtain.

    • Zwak, jack off, all trades

      An Orange county chop-up?

  5. Ted S.

    Note that that last clickbait doesn’t say in the headline (or URL) what the trend is.

    I presume it leads to a slideshow listicle?

    • SugarFree

      Swallowing magnets while trying to pretend they have a tongue ring. Obstructs the bowels.

      • rhywun

        I have a set of those magnets; the company was almost banned into oblivion years ago because of stupid kids.

        Oh, never mind. Now they’re out of business.

      • Count Potato

        Reason did an article way back then.

      • Animal

        Paging Dr. Darwin, Dr. Charles Darwin. Pick up the red courtesy phone, please.

    • R C Dean

      Not mentioned in the article from Parents: actually being a parent and barring* your kid from social media.

      *You can’t control it once they have the apps on their phone. So its pretty much either “no social media, that shit is toxic” or “do whatever the fuck you want, junior”.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Ain’t no reason any kid under the age of 14 needs to be walking around with a smartphone.

        /Change my mind

      • R C Dean

        Agree.

        Don’t know if you saw my update – got my t-shirt. Two thumbs up.

  6. Tonio

    In neighboring Ohio, the Oak Hills Local School District was also forced to send out a letter to parents last week warning that students would be recommended for criminal charges if they were caught doing any devious licking.

    Slut-shaming?

    • The Other Kevin

      Wasn’t Devious Licking a character from Good Omens?

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      I haven’t heard of devious lickers, but I have heard of fancy liquors.

  7. Shpip

    According to the report, Elizabeth’s 13-year-old daughter swallowed the magnetic balls, which eventually lodged themselves in her appendix and bowel. “They had to take part of her bowel away and re-stitch it. There was one stuck in her appendix so they had to remove that,” Elizabeth told the Liverpool Echo. Overall, doctors reportedly removed 15 magnetic balls from the teen’s internal organs.

    That’s when mom has to pull the kid aside and tell her, “You’re not supposed to swallow the balls, hon. Just the stuff they produce.”

    • Drake

      So that’s what the appendix is for…

  8. SugarFree

    I have been told that one of the Kentucky barking kids took a shit in a school hallway. This news is unconfirmed at the time of publication.

    • SDF-7

      Also unconfirmed is that a Community Enforcement Officer proceeded to rub the kid’s nose in it….

    • EvilSheldon

      Is this another case of furries ruining everything*?

      * – Including, or maybe especially, furries themselves…

      • SugarFree

        It seems to be limited to just wearing a collar and barking, so more like dog life LARPing.

        I assume dog costumes are next, with a little ass flap for realistic pooping action.

    • wdalasio

      Then there’s one appropriate response – rub his nose in it.

  9. Scruffy Nerfherder

    That entire article about money is infuriatingly stupid, but this paragraph caught my eye for missing the forest for the trees.

    There’s no intrinsic value to money. Instead, it’s the value given to it by a state authority to then allow people to continue to conduct their own credit and debt relationships with one another to sustain us during this epidemic. It freaks people out, because they think that means money is being debased and it’s not worth anything. Surprise, it wasn’t worth anything to begin with, nothing is really worth anything intrinsically. It’s only worth something if we accept in settlement of our debts. We accept things in the settlement of our debts that the state will back up by force of law and taxation.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      But this one comes pretty close to being the most vapid.

      Suze Orman, financial adviser: Money is the physical manifestation of who you are.

      • R C Dean

        Property of the Federal Reserve? Pass.

    • juris imprudent

      Well I give you credit for being fool enough to go read it.

  10. grrizzly

    A TikTok Trend Has Kids Barking & Wearing Dog Collars At School

    Aren’t they all muzzled?

    • Fourscore

      Take them to the vet and get them neutered, it’s only right.

      A. Linkletter

  11. Suthenboy

    Children arent the only demographic that is breathtakingly stupid.

    • Gadfly

      Makes sense, since they do turn into adults after all, if they aren’t too stupid.

  12. Scruffy Nerfherder

    The “Devious Licks” one hit my daughter’s school. The principal is not amused and has contacted every parent to tell them that the moment he finds out who it was, they’re expelled.

    • Ted S.

      So it’s not just a bogus moral panic?

      Rainbow parties were the original devious licking.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Social media has changed the dynamic of moral panics and given them a velocity of spread that is unparalleled in history.

        The stupid moves fast in our modern world.

      • Not Adahn

        Back in my say, it was called “stealing stuff from school because we were bored and didn’t like the place all that much to begin with.”

      • Bobarian LMD

        “But we luckily didn’t have little cameras in our pocket to film all the stupid shit we did and blast it out to the world.”

  13. grrizzly

    Just wait for “breakthrough” cases…

    Animals vaccinated against COVID-19 at Franklin Park Zoo and Stone Zoo

    Zoo New England said Wednesday that staff has started vaccinating animals susceptible to COVID-19 at its zoos in Boston and Stoneham.

    The nonprofit confirmed the vaccination push at Franklin Park Zoo in the Hub and Stone Zoo in Stoneham in a statement, which said the first round of the initiative’s focused on the “highest risk species” such as primates; cats including lions, tigers, and snow leopards; ferrets; and North American river otters.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        IIRC ferrets have similar lungs to humans and are commonly used as animal test subjects for pulmonary diseases and treatments.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I read a SARS study earlier today that showed a propensity for ferrets to get lesions when infected with SARS-CoV. I assume that would apply to SARS-CoV-2 as well.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        I think a lot of mink farms in Europe were forced to slaughter their animals due to Covid.

    • SDF-7

      Injecting primates with a potential genetic therapy that’s been poorly tested? I’m pretty sure I saw this movie already, Caesar….

      • Bobarian LMD

        Isn’t that how Roseann lost her job?

    • grrizzly

      In other zoo news. Gorillas in the Atlanta Zoo caught covid, they were coughing and had a running nose. The zoo administration believes that the animals caught it from an employee who cared for them. The employee was fully vaccinated and always wore a mask and gloves.

  14. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    So my friend whose twin brother died? He had a heart attack while in a hotel room with a woman*. That’s some King Shitlord stuff, right there.

    Tameka (my friend) had a good chuckle out of it, at least.

    *He was not married

    • Animal

      Well, if you gotta go, there are worse ways.

      • EvilSheldon

        I’ve always wanted my last words to be along the lines of, “Whatever they’re paying you, I’ll double it!”

      • Animal

        My bucket list includes an item wherein I have the opportunity to say to someone, “You’ve arrived just in time for my moment of triumph!” I’m just hoping they won’t be my last words.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        Huh, I always wanted it to be “Really? This is what you came up with?”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’ll toast him tonight.

    • SDF-7

      She got him coming and going?

      (Too soon?)

    • Ted S.

      Makes me think of Secondhand Lions.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      A buddy of mine had a massive heart attack in a similar situation. He says his wife’s self confidence has gone through the roof know that she can fuck him to death.

    • blighted_non_millenial

      John Entwistle needed a wing man?

    • Loveconstitution1789

      Die Hard 10. Sweet death!

    • one true athena

      On one hand, he lives in Brazil so it’s probably not hard to hire someone to get him

      But on the other, he has like twenty dogs, so … good luck to the fool taking that mission.

      • Gadfly

        And he’s married to a Brazilian congressman, so I’m sure they have more security than just their dogs.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      Anyone and everyone who has had a successful political career in DC is dirty. You cannot have a long-term career here in elected office (and all its attendant jobs – chief of staff, counsel, etc.) without being absolutely filthy.

      Think about how long Puddin Cup has been around here, being pushed & dragged all the way to the Presidency.

      It’s more fucked up than you imagine.

      • Suthenboy

        I think Mark Levin said once “No matter how bad you think they are, they are exponentially worse.”

    • SDF-7

      Based on the past year? I don’t think they’ll bother.

      A good chunk of the country already knows, they know we know — and they don’t care. Because enough of the *rest* of the country only pay attention to the trotted out lies, the censored feed and don’t need to worry about what those icky deplorables are thinking…

      Or because the voting machines go BRRRRRRRRR along with the printing press so “They’re the Ruling Elite ™ — they don’t HAVE to care.”

    • Suthenboy

      That has occurred to me as well. That guy needs to sleep in a different place every night.

    • SandMan

      Too lazy to look it up, but I think he and/or his family did nearly get whacked in recent history.

  15. Count Potato

    “I wrote: Dispensers of Adderall, Xanax, and Vicoden in every work area.”

    I’d pick something without tylenol.

    • Raven Nation

      Ivermectin?

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Percodan?

      • Ghostpatzer

        +1 old-school opioids minus the acetaminophen

      • EvilSheldon

        Mmmmm, Demerol. A real blast from the past…

  16. waffles

    Whew what a week, see yinz tomorrow.

  17. Tundra

    I could use some Adderall this afternoon.

  18. trshmnstr the terrible

    Trashy trafficks conspiracy, pt. 2:

    I dunno if this made the rounds in the Alex Jones circles or not, but we followed the WHO SARS outbreak guidelines (from 2004) somewhat closely.

    link

    • R C Dean

      Assess the need to implement measures that increase social distance (e.g. cancellation of mass gatherings, closure of schools, theatres and public facilities, and requiring masks for all persons using
      public transport, working in restaurants, or entering hospitals, etc.).The effectiveness of these methods in unproven.

      Emphasis added. What we did went well beyond even this suggestion of what needed to be “assessed”.

      • The Other Kevin

        I’ve been thinking about it this way. For decades public health officials have been basically writing wording for cigarette packages. Then finally, FINALLY the BIG PANDEMIC showed up (even though it didn’t but never mind that). Now they can finally try out all those theoretical things they’d been daydreaming about all these years. And FINALLY, they can swoop in to the rescue and save the world!

      • Suthenboy

        Amazing how many people want to slay dragons, but real dragons are scarier than hell and often end up eating people.
        Better to go after imaginary ones.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        This. It’s a recurring theme lately of inflating moderate, but manageable crises into world ending events in a narcissistic attempt to slay dragons while really just kicking some iguanas.

        The Great Recession was the first time I noticed it. For something labeled in a way that denoted equivalence with the Great Depression, it sure looked, at least economically, like a garden variety recession with some knock on effects in the housing market due to some shitty public policy.

        Superstorm Sandy and the naming of winter weather events is another example

      • EvilSheldon

        You keep your hands (and feet) off my iguana!

      • Ghostpatzer

        *cues Andy Kaufman as Mighty Mouse*

    • Ted S.

      To be fair, Chamberlain did claim to have had sex with 20,000 women.

      • Gadfly

        But if that claim is true, you’d think the women would have to be coming to him, as it would take too much time otherwise to find that many partners.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        Have Wilt Chamberlain and STEVE SMITH ever been seen together?

      • Ghostpatzer

        STEVE SMITH NEVER WILT!

      • B.P.

        A different woman every day for 55 years. That’s a lot of phone numbers to juggle.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Need to check in with Mrs. Patzer, who frequently dressed up as Elvira for Halloween. I used to get upset when she called me “Wilt”, now I feel better.

    • Rat on a train

      Tom Jones accidentally sent her to the emergency room following an internal injury sustained while they had sex

      • Count Potato

        That would be unusual.

      • Ghostpatzer

        That which has been done, has been seen.

  19. Suthenboy

    Money is a measure of wealth. It isn’t wealth.
    Just because you draw more inches doesnt mean you magically have enough lumber to build a house.

  20. Count Potato

    “Sen. Corey Booker and Rep. Karen Bass on the Democratic side and Tim Scott on the Republican side had spent months going back and forth to come up with a compromise, and in a meeting Tuesday the Democrats gave Scott their final offer.

    Scott, R-S.C., did not agree to the offer and Booker called him Wednesday morning to inform him talks were now dead.

    ‘Unfortunately, even with this law enforcement support and further compromises we offered, there was still too wide a gulf with our negotiating partners and we faced significant obstacles to securing a bipartisan deal,’ Booker, D-N.J. explained in a statement.

    Scott blasted his Democratic colleagues for ‘walking away from the table.’

    ‘Democrats said no because they could not let go of their push to defund our law enforcement.’ ”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10018365/Biden-considering-issuing-executive-order-pass-police-reform-bipartisan-talks-collapsed.html

    • R C Dean

      The three sweetest words in the English language: “bipartisan talks collapse”.

      • Chipwooder

        The single sweetest word: “gridlock”

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Why bother passing a law when the President can just issue an executive order?

  21. Count Potato

    “A man was left ejaculating out of his anus and urinating faeces because of a rare condition, doctors have revealed.

    The 33-year-old, from Texas, did not seek medical help for two years, and only went for a check-up after suffering testicle pain for five days.

    He told medics he had passed a ‘substantial amount’ of semen and urine from his anus for two years.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-10017791/Man-left-ejaculating-anus-urinating-faeces-rare-condition.html

    What?

    • Suthenboy

      There is no way in hell I am going to click on that.

      • Sean

        This. ⬆

    • Ghostpatzer

      His shit’s all retarded, yo.

    • EvilSheldon

      Talk about burying the lede…

      “After examining his medical history, the medics pinned the problem on him having a catheter inserted two years earlier while he spent three weeks in a coma after taking cocaine and phencyclidine (PCP).”

    • Ted S.

      Ever heard of a fistula?

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Is this still a family friendly site?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      suffering testicle pain for five days

      Guy’s a baller.

  22. Count Potato

    “A whistleblower has sensationally claimed China deliberately spread Covid at a military tournament two months before the rest of the world knew about the deadly virus.

    Ex-Chinese Communist Party insider Wei Jingsheng said The World Military Games in October 2019 could have acted as the virus’ first superspreader event.

    The international tournament for military athletes was held in Wuhan – the origin of the Covid-19 pandemic – two months before China notified the World Health Organisation about its first cases.

    Mr Jingsheng claimed it was no coincidence some of the 9,000 international athletes who gathered for the event reportedly became sick with a mystery illness.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10014895/Ex-Chinese-Communist-Party-insider-Wei-Jingsheng-speaks-Wuhan-theory-relating-Covid-19.html

    Who the hell knows?

    • rhywun

      To repeat what Suth said above: “No matter how bad you think they are, they are exponentially worse.”

      At this point I do not find the claim to be “sensational” at all.

      • Drake

        It can never be proven, but would explain a lot.

    • tarran

      I remember the Chinese made an abortive attempt to get people to believe that patient 0 for Covid was an American competitor in those games and that COVID had originated in the U.S. They were promoting this idea heavily for a month or so before giving it up when it got no traction.

  23. EvilSheldon

    Money is a channel for communicating value.

    • Tulip

      A medium of exchange, a store of value, and a unit of measure.

      • The Hyperbole

        A social construct.

      • R C Dean

        When I taught banking law, I gave one lecture: the history of banking and the nature of money. I said money was a consensual hallucination.

  24. Ghostpatzer

    I figured it was safe to read the links, what could be worse than Joemala?

    Jezebel, that’s what. We are not worthy, SF. Apropos of nothing, autocorrect substitutes “Normal” for “Joemala”.

    Lots of excellent suggestions for HR survey replies upthread. Will keep handy for the inevitable.

  25. Winston

    https://mobile.twitter.com/jeffreyatucker/status/1440769837429522437

    One way to think about lockdowns is as a test. What can government get away with? How much of an advantage does government have over the rest of us and how can that power be deployed? How outrageous does the intervention have to be before people rise up and resist?

    Well we have flopped the test….

    • wdalasio

      Sun Tsu noted that every battle is won and lost before it is fought.

      What Tucker doesn’t understand is that he helped lose this fight years ago.

      When he applauded the removal of “white supremacists” and “conspiracy theorists” from social media, he helped lose the fight.

      When he implied that the value of liberty was its contribution to enlightened science, he helped lose the fight.

      When the battle came between him and the censors, when the battle came between him and the government bureaucrats speaking on behalf of “The Science”, he’d already conceded their points. All he had left was the hope of popular appeal.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        It’s because he has no foundation from which to test and assert his views. He was and is a floppy cosmo, operating from a particularly utilitarian mindset. Turns out nobody much cares which governance preferences he has labeled as “good governance” in his mind.

  26. kinnath

    Someone has to:

    Money

    • db

      I think I might rather have Time.

      • Rat on a train

        Time is money.

  27. grrizzly

    Maybe I should really move to Florida…

    Quarantine optional for exposed Florida students — 4:45 p.m.
    By The Associated Press

    A day after assuming his job, Florida’s newly appointed surgeon general on Wednesday signed new rules allowing parents to decide whether their children should quarantine or stay in school after being exposed to someone who has tested positive for COVID-19.

    The guidelines signed by Dr. Joseph Ladapo eliminate previous rules requiring students to quarantine for at least four days off campus if they’ve been exposed. Under the new rules, students who have been exposed can continue going to campus, “without restrictions or disparate treatment,” provided they are asymptomatic. They can also quarantine, but no longer than seven days, provided they do not get sick.

    “Quarantining healthy students is incredibly damaging for their educational advancement,” Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis said Wednesday at a news conference in Kissimmee. “It’s also disruptive for families. We are going to be following a symptoms-based approach.”

    • The Other Kevin

      Man, they’re going to need refrigerated trucks to handle all those bodies.

  28. DEG

    A Jezebel Special Report

    /flashback to Progressives he knew from Swing dancing in the Boston area
    I’ll pass on this special report.

    A Jezebel Special Report

    Now do the Jan. 6th festivities political prisoners.

    According to the report, Elizabeth’s 13-year-old daughter swallowed the magnetic balls, which eventually lodged themselves in her appendix and bowel.

    Consider it evolution in action.

  29. Suthenboy

    Sound advice: Dont feed your dog anything with cumin in it.

    • Suthenboy

      Or egg yolks. I learned that one a long time ago…the hard way.

      • blighted_non_millenial

        < owns/has owned boxers. Some dogs it doesn't really matter what you feed them, but, yes, eggs are an accelerant.

      • Suthenboy

        I once fed a Labrador two deviled eggs. A few hours later I drove to Monroe to visit some relatives. Back then it was a two hour drive.
        Holy shit….Keeping the windows down did not help much. The dog just sat in the passenger seat with a big smile on her face while I gagged.

      • Tundra

        Labs eating jerky in the duck blind all morning creates a similar drive home.

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        One place we boarded our dogs at used to feed them Rollover™ as a treat.

        Yikes. My female Shih-Tzu could peel the paint off the walls after eating that stuff.

      • Surly Knott

        It’s the smile that really does it.

    • Ownbestenemy

      We refrain from giving dogs table scraps but they do get fresh veggies scraps when I am cooking and anything unseasoned.

      • R C Dean

        Our dogs are not even allowed in the dining room when we eat. And they are afraid to go into the kitchen when Mrs. Dean is cooking (as am I). The Little Fat One gets in her crate, and the Big Dumb One goes outside.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      I read that very quickly and only saw one “in” the first time.

      • grrizzly

        You’re not alone.

      • westernsloper

        +1 jar of peanut butter.

    • db

      He isn’t even fit for a shoe store.

    • B.P.

      I finally saw video of that bizarre scene. Wow.

      The press continues to pretend there’s no stonewalling. And nothing else happened.

    • R C Dean

      Several(?) staffers suddenly start shouting in unison at the press to drown out the President(!) and evict the press from the room. Beyond bizarre.

      And Trump was the one who dissed the press pool.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The press pool is so stupid that they act confused at the end of the meeting.

        Useful idiots, all of them

      • Ownbestenemy

        But they filed a ‘formal complaint’…

        How any of the legacy media is okay with it is fucking astounding.

      • B.P.

        Yeah, you’d think some of these robots would take being treated like a beaten dog personally and stick up for themselves. Maybe even tell the public about it. Nope. They gotta keep their heads down in support of The Narrative and The Greater Good.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      It’s ok though. The transaction will be hidden from the Biden’s and the purchaser would never be able to send a photo of Biden’s art hanging on his wall.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      I’m not sure. At some point the knives may be out for good ole Joe just as they were for Cuomo. They took Cuomo out for a scandal but not for any bad performance because the Cathedral can’t admit their policies are trash. The same thing may happen to Biden.

  30. Winston

    https://mobile.twitter.com/MichaelPSenger/status/1440764494444056576

    Melbourne has granted the request of police to establish a “no-fly zone” to prevent aerial footage of protests. The policy was scaled back after an outcry, but media outlets must still request police permission to fly over the Central Business District.

    • R C Dean

      Its the business district. Its got tall buildings. Get your people off their asses and up on top of some of those buildings, with cameras. Hell, they don’t even have to be on top – glass towers have windows, yo.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Ya, I am not a big fan of aircraft flying in the vicinity of tall buildings.

  31. Brochettaward

    If it wasn’t for the First That Will Change Everything, I don’t know if there’s anything that would keep me going. The people of this world don’t deserve my Firsts. At the rate things are going, I firmly believe most of the populace would, if left to their own devices, be officially too stupid to breathe by 2022.

    • Brochettaward

      I carry a heavy burden.

    • Animal

      The people of this world don’t deserve my Firsts.

      That much is certain.

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        Really, he should deny us all his First That Will Change Everything. It would serve all of us ungrateful curs right.

        I, for one, would welcome the punishment of forever being denied the First That Will Change Everything. It’s what I deserve. And the rest of you, too.

      • Gender Traitor

        #We’reNotWorthy!

      • Surly Knott

        #AndProudOfIt

      • Gender Traitor

        ::fistbump;: ::or whatever it is the kids are doing these days::

      • UnCivilServant

        Who cares what the kids are upto.

        Kids have always been idiots.

    • The Gunslinger

      Instead of First That Will Change Everything, I’m going to start calling it the First of Unusual Clarity and Koncision. Or F.U.C.K. if you prefer.

  32. Semi-Spartan Dad

    Does anyone know the dose strength for quinine? A couple good friends are quite sick (flu level sick, not ventilator sick) and just got positive Covid tests. We gave them ivermectin, zinc, and quinine. I printed the FLCCC dosing instructions for ivermectin and zinc, but couldn’t remember how much quinine. The pills are 500 mg.

    • Tundra

      Looking at it now. It says 250 mg twice daily of Quercetin. I don’t see quinine.

      Which ivermectin did you use?

      • Drake

        Quinine is the natural stuff that Brits were using centuries ago. Works but more side effects than cloroquine.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Thanks. It’s ivermectin from a farm store. They couldn’t find a doctor who would prescribe it. And I doubt any pharmacy would fill.

      • Tundra

        Yes, I believe you were the source for my emergency stash. Thanks for that.

        Please keep us informed as to their progress.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I’m glad you were able to get some. They are younger and in good shape, so I think they’re going to be fine. They’re both just pretty miserable right now and it’s unreal that doctors will not offer anything unless you progress to just about the vent stage.

      • Ownbestenemy

        ^^^ That is what I think normal docs are frustrated at.

      • rhywun

        There better be a reckoning for that and many other things.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Right? 19 months in you would think something would be out like: Sunshine, regular exercise, regular contact with people, REDACTED, REDACTED therapeutics, etc

        Nah…how would the big Pharma make its money

      • Tulip

        There won’t be. That’s one of the themes in Secondhand Time. An important, but depressing book.

      • rhywun

        There won’t be.

        Yeah, I know.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Thanks, I’ll grab a bottle of Quercetin too.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Keep the dosage correct. Check the FLCCC, I believe it’s 250mg / day.

        Quercetin does have a fairly low threshold for kidney issues.

      • Tundra

        250 a day is preventative. Twice a day is for early treatment protocol.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Thanks both. I’ll pass it along.

    • UnCivilServant

      Where did you get the meds?

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Ivermectin from a farm store. The quinine and zinc from Amazon. I think it was Kinnath? that linked to it and talked about his wife and her friends all taking it when they tested positive.

      • UnCivilServant

        Do you think they’re going to try to pull a ‘Denatured Ivermectin’ stunt like they did with alcohol? Force an additive more deadly to humans than horses?

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I think they’ll make ivermectin rx only instead of OTC. I’ve been waiting for that hammer to drop.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        From a vet you mean? Maybe but there are a lot of very rich horse owners (as well as others) who’d be mega pissed. As for adulteration, I doubt it out of self-preservation if anything.

    • Raven Nation

      quercetin =/= quinine.

      I’d be careful with quinine. From what I understand (and I’m not a doctor), the line between benefit/harm is pretty narrow. Unlike ivermectin which is pretty safe.

    • Shpip

      3 oz quinine pre-dissolved in soda water
      3 oz gin, minimum 80 proof
      juice of 1/4 lime, or to taste

      Pour first two ingredients into tall glass filled with ice. Squeeze lime on top. Stir gently.

      Repeat until symptoms dissipate, or patient reaches state of dissipation.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Change gin to bourbon, quinine to ice, and I’m with you on that.

      • R C Dean

        Pretty sure a single 3 oz. dose of quinine is a bad idea.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I think that was why it was written as ‘pre-dissolved in soda water’ aka Tonic Water

      • R C Dean

        The way its written, you take 3 oz of quinine and dissolve it in soda water. I see no indication of how much soda water. If the 3 oz. refers to the soda water, I see no indiication of how much quinine.

        Why, yes, I am flyspecking a joint venture operating agreement. Why do you ask?

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      I read yesterday that a possible reason that Ivermectin has apparently been successful in other countries is that parasites are a comorbidity, and the Ivermectin is resolving that issue. So if you live in a shithole country where parasites are common, it will help, whereas if you live in a country with decent sanitation, it won’t do much good. I don’t know if it’s valid, but it does make some sense why it apparently works in India.

      • SandMan

        I had been wondering how an anti-parasitic drug would be anti-viral, as you say here maybe it’s not. Interesting issue in any case.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        They are doing tests to see why.

        If the body reacts to the medicine to prevent the virus from using normal cells to multiply, we have a winner.

        Even with penicilin, the effect on bacteria was noticed before it was understood why it worked the way it did.

    • kinnath

      I believe the recommended dose on the quinine pills is one per day. My wife was taking 4 per day until the symptoms broke; then 2 per day for several weeks; finally down to one per day for a few more weeks.

      The important part is zinc and quinine together. Dr. Z says zinc is the bullet and HCT is the gun. So, the quinine won’t help with much without the zinc.

      Again, the recommended dose on the bottle was one zinc per day. But, just like the quinine, my wife was taking four a day; then two a day; and with both continue to take one per day to prevent common colds, etc.

  33. Ownbestenemy

    Been contemplating this. Both times my wife and I have had big outings (Raiders game and Viva) I have, after a couple of days developed a slight head cold and nothing else. Now, I am not a worrisome type cause no fever developed, but didn’t run out and get a COVID test because well, felt no need.

    However, I know a lot of people that any sign of any ailment they run out and get one. They pop positive and then the mind starts racing. I have COVID! OMG! I wonder how much that plays into their symptoms deterioting. I know, new age mumbo jumbo about mind over body, but seriously I know a lot of people that keep a positive attitude or ignorance is bliss type deal and they seem to not be affected.

    Is that more because you know your immune system is better? Do you know you are relatively healthy and that helps?

    This is what I thought about today in my 8 hour leadership training.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      I know, new age mumbo jumbo about mind over body

      Not at all. Mental state has substantial impact on health outcomes. Coffee and Covid wrote some articles on the culture of fear and how it impacts hospitalized patients. (can’t link it from my phone)

      • db

        Oh shit I just realized what “covfefe” meant now. They briefed Trump on their plans to release a coronavirus into the general population and even had it all planned out down the name “COVID.”

        But Trump freaked out at the revelation and they had to restrain and subdue him. The amnesia drug they hit him with cleared most of the knowledge, but somehow he retained enough and his subconscious attempted to warn everyone with a bizarre middle of the night tweet.

        Any lesser man’s memory would have been entirely wiped clean of the information, but his was superior.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        +1000000000

        Yuge!

    • db

      It probably beats whatever your leadership was thinking about during those 8 hours.

      • Ownbestenemy

        You have no idea. In several breakout groups you can see the fear in their eyes when someone mentioned “how many techs do you think you are going to lose?”

        In one group, we actually focused at what we needed to, others were bitching about the unclean and we don’t care they deserve to get fired.

        It is fun knowing you are going to get fired eventually but part of the people who are going to do it.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      If the mind didn’t have an effect, then there would be no such thing as a placebo.

    • Drake

      My wife and I have experienced this too. I think it is the recently vaxxed shedding spike proteins.

      Now I take the above mentioned quercetin and zinc when going out in public.

  34. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    For those that watched the original heartwarming video of Yoyo the pittie’s day at the farm that turned into living at the farm – he has been adopted, and the new owners will get him trained at the farm so he can eventually join the daycare pack!

    Also, the owners of the farm will continue to work with shelter dogs from now on, and are making a purpose-built living area just for the shelter dogs while they go through socialization.

    Original – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrTz6LhrsjM&t=858s

      • Tundra

        Thanks for the update. I love Yo Yo and I wish I was that dude. What a great calling!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Not cold enough plus no poutine.

    • B.P.

      At least The Nation is taking a beating in the replies.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Its a ‘best’ friend because she feeds it. Wait til it think it won’t get food no mo.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      There’s something to be said for being friends with the thing that will one day kill you. Good for her.

    • grrizzly

      This is awesome. If you’re registered with the Epoch Times, you can see pictures here.

      • The Hyperbole

        Or at least Ka-razy (or Ka-razor, I think it’s the former but I’ll accept the latter)

      • B.P.

        Or just google image search Veronika Dichka for some stylish pics of a comely young lass and her giant friend.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Very…Beauty and the Beast

    • westernsloper

      JFC

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s fully into batshit insane idea territory.

    • Rat on a train

      No animals, with the exception of service animals, are permitted on the grounds.
      I assume Animal isn’t in the military.

      • The Hyperbole

        No printed materials, including political material aimed at any person or party, may be distributed during the festival without prior approval by the Celtic Cultural Alliance Board of Directors.
        All bicycles must be walked through the grounds. Skateboards and roller blades are not permitted.
        Do not swim or wade in the creek, canal or river.
        Amplified music not produced by Celtic Cultural Alliance is not permitted (ie. MP3 players, smart phones etc.).
        Do not smoke in prohibited areas. No drugs or illegal activities will be tolerated at the festival.

        Fucking totalitarians!

      • R C Dean

        No drugs

        Yet I see booze is for sale.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’m mostly pissed about the creek/canal/river thing, I’ll get my Heraclitus on if I want to, fuck these Nazis.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        So much for my celtic bathing ritual.

      • Animal

        Well. Not any more.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I thought it was proven (or maybe not) that there was no whipping and it was a western bridle with split reins? Ah who knows.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’s absolutely not a whip.

      • rhywun

        It’s almost like the left manufactured this “national condemnation” out of thin air for a reason.

    • Ownbestenemy

      But a cop with a itchy finger pops someone in the neck and kills them gets hailed as a national hero….go figure

    • Mustang

      The reaction to the border makes a lot more sense if you think about the powers-that-be as globalists who don’t care about borders.

      “As a member of the Western Hemisphere…”

      – Kamala Harris

      Who the fuck talks like that? Globalists.

    • R C Dean

      The one thing we need in Del Rio is fewer Border Patrol agents.

      And I have seen no pictures of agents “appearing to use their reins as whips”. The pic in the article clearly shows that the the rein is flopping around because its not in his hand. One hand is on the illegal, and the other is behind the horse’s head, possibly holding the other rein.

      Fuck Biden.

      • R C Dean

        In recent weeks, thousands of Haitian migrants have amassed near Del Rio, Texas and are seeking entry into the United States via Mexico.

        Well, that’s misleading. Thousands of them aren’t “seeking” entry – they already entered and are in this country.

        All they’re trying to do is escape from violence in their country.

        After 10 years in another country? Sure, Maxine. That aside, they came to South America after an earthquake or possibly a hurricane. Neither qualifies as “violence”.

      • SugarFree

        She’s a testament to how far someone with an IQ in the 50s can go in crooked politics.

  35. DEG

    Personalized 1911s from the First World War American Expedition to Siberia.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Sexy

  36. UnCivilServant

    Painting some of my backlog of plastic crack. Did the handle and hilt details of a sword in gold. the blade is still primer black. The effect looks cool, but I just know if I brought it to a game that way, people would assume I just didn’t paint the blade.

    Maybe if I painted it with gloss coat…

    • R C Dean

      Slow down, hoss. Is a black blade canon?

      • UnCivilServant

        Yes.

        It’s Warhammer 40K. It’s absorbed so much canon that it’s easier to list what isn’t canon.

    • The Hyperbole

      You take these thing to games with other people? I thought you hated other people.

      • UnCivilServant

        Why do you think I try to kill their little dudes?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I miss Dioramas and Plastic, I just don’t have the space right now,