“We must go back and kill them,” the bear said. “We must kill them all.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” she snapped.
“Whoa, there. Don’t take it out on me.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, deflating. “It’s just been a hard day.”
“You tried to put me in the trunk,” the bear said. His glossy plastic eyes stared straight ahead.
“Well, you aren’t in the trunk, are you?” she asked snidely. All her clothes felt tight and her jaw hurt from gritting her teeth.
“I just can’t talk to you when you’re like this,” the bear huffed. “Maybe you’re…”
“Don’t say it,” she growled, cutting through traffic, speeding, jabbing at the dash to try to turn some music on.
“Maybe you’re…”
“Don’t say it!” she said, as a station began blaring Debbie Gibson.
“Getting your…”
She screamed and wrenched the car across four lanes.
“I am not getting my period!” she yelled.
“I’m a bear,” said the bear. “I can smell it.”
“Stop smelling me!”
“I can’t help it!”
“This. This right here is why I was going to put you in the trunk!”
“OK, calm down,” the bear said.
“Don’t tell me to calm down!”
“I just can’t deal with you when you get like this.”
She slowed, downshifted, and shot through a narrowing gap between two trucks.
“I quit my job for you,” she said tightly.
“Because they were closing in, asking questions about me, Why the giant bear in your office? and Why does it smell like that when it rains? Maybe I smell like that because I’m a bear?!? Sometimes humans are so stupid.”
“Yes, we are,” she whispered, savagely wiping away a tear.
“So we have to go back and kill them, right?” the bear asked. “They can’t know about me. What if they talked to someone? What if the government found out?”
“I know, I know.”
“They’d take me apart,” the bear said as the song changed to the slap bass of Duran Duran. “Stuffing and bones, meat and stitching. I’d die.”
“Yes, kill them, yes,” she muttered to herself.
“Then maybe you wouldn’t try to put me in the trunk anymore,” the bear said primly.
She screamed and beat at the steering wheel with her hands.
‘BRO831’, is this some kind of sick ‘firster’ fantasy?
That’s her plate number. Hazard of the job.
I’m not sure who was on more drugs: the people who thought up the original commercial or SugarFree?
I don’t think Sugarfree’s meds are psychoactive.
They’re there to to bring his own psychoactivity down into an audible range.
Also, didn’t Subaru pretty much just advertise that the trunk space on this vehicle is weaksauce?
Hey, it held her flats!
I think they showed she was hiding a body within the bear, because a normal bear that size should be able to be crammed in there with the air displacement in the stuffing.
This one was on more drugs…
https://www.ktvu.com/news/hiker-allegedly-boiling-bear-urine-to-drink-started-fawn-fire
Nicely done there, SF. Kind of curious if she went back and killed them or not…
Less SHT and more “Subaru Slapstick Buddy Action Comedy Theater”
Turner and Hooch, as directed by Eli Roth.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
🙂
Also, who at Subaru decided they needed to make a RWD?
People who know how to make driving fun?
*snickers in WRX*
As I recall they don’t manufacture it, it’s really a Toyota with a Subaru badge.
I thought it was a Toyota body with a Subaru boxer engine…
*Checking*
Yes – a flat-4 engine.
https://www.caranddriver.com/subaru/brz
It was a joint development.
As I recall, Subaru did the drive train and Toyota did the rest.
When the two vehicles were introduce, Toyota had a beautiful car on display. Subaru had a transparent body showing off the mechanicals. During the press Q&A, the Subaru rep said about the transparent model: “It’s a Subaru. No one cares what it looks like.”
Much like the Supra/BMW, there are two badged versions of the same basic car.
Toyota F86.
Originally badged FRS
Before Scion died.
Correct. I forgot that part.
I drove the Toyota. It was just OK.
1986 Australian commercial.
What? She was driving on the American side!
86 is the Toyota model name of their version of the car, not the year of the commercial
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toyota_86
Huh. I just saw 86 and assumed. [hangs head in shame]
I thought the same thing before reading the rest of the article.
It even has 2015 in the damn title. Is it even Australian? DAMN YOU, SUBARU!
#metoo but those weren’t ’86 shoes or headlights.
Or vehicle body style.
Explains the music. I thought she was listened to the 80s station on Sirius or something.
The people at Subaru who like to drive sideways at 30mph.
They knew exactly what they were doing when they put the same tires on the BRZ as were standard on the Prius…
“They’d take me apart,” the bear said as the song changed to the slap bass of Duran Duran. “Stuffing and bones, meat and stitching. I’d die.”
Nice.
Hooves and horns and teeth and bones I’m gonna stitch you up when you come unsewn
Requests for future SHT. Backstory on these two
https://youtu.be/sdTPmYE9Des
https://youtu.be/zLPp-NFInXw
It is still drunk driving if only the car has had a bunch of white wine?
Wow.
That actress’s friends must have teased her about those.
I am not getting my period!” she yelled.
“I’m a bear,” said the bear. “I can smell it.”
“Stop smelling me!”
Effing gold.
I completely agree, Ted needed a gritty body-horror reboot…
https://www.oregonlive.com/data/2021/10/chaotic-scene-at-site-of-suspected-catalytic-converter-theft-led-to-death-of-christina-gomez-24-family-says.html
Lots of obfuscation and canonization by the reporter, but this remains a criminal in the middle of committing what is likely a felony based on the value, with a history of criminal behavior, gets blown away from the apparent lawful owner of the car. Good.
“she didn’t deserve it!”
Maybe she should have thought about that before she voluntarily participated in a criminal enterprise. Fuck her, fuck her family, and most of all fuck the criminal justice that sent out a victims advocate on behalf of the criminal.
Fuck off.
Probably a heart of platinum anyway…
Rhodium is where it’s at.
Ah, just like the gang member who murders a liquor store clerk whose mother insists “he’s a good kid”.
I’ve seen this brewing, the idea that deadly force to protect property should be considered murder. “Nothing I own is worth another person’s life.” is the shibboleth.
The Brits are fully into it and have been for a while.
Anybody who espouses that idea deserves to be stripped of all their possessions and left to rot.
The loss of my possessions could very easily lead to my own death.
Thus the threat to them is a threat to me.
Very little that I own is worth the possibility of contact with the criminal justice system, which shooting someone would inevitably get me…
“Nothing I own is worth another person’s life.” is the shibboleth.
So do they not call the cops when they get robbed? Because consistency would require them to basically do nothing. If they are consistent, where might these people live? Asking for a friend.
Little Christina’s fate was written long ago. Her choices had, by this time in her life, narrowed down to either petty theft or whoring. If not this, it would have been the cops that killed her. Or an OD, or she gets eaten by a predator higher up the food chain.
…
I normally recommend against going out and confronting a car thief while armed. That kind of petty property crime is not worth even the possibility of shooting someone. Mr. Lujano is probably finding this out the hard way right this minute.
That’s why everyone should own a backhoe.
Proper planning and preparation prevents piss-poor performance.
Have the hole pre-dug next to the car so that they know you mean business.
Mr. Lujano is probably finding this out the hard way right this minute.
FTA:
Sometimes things work out the way they should.
Yet.
Well, the video is effing useless. Who points their security camera at the ceiling?
Bill Cosby
10th comment and not a single would, even though plenty of you horndogs absolutely would, even with the bear watching you.
Especially with the bear watching.
Even more so with her watching.
Kinda like going at it and the dog comes up and takes a lick?
Depends on the bear.
Only if the bear is involved acktually
“on a bearskin rug” is still on my bucket list.
<a href="https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/1024/media/images/59944000/jpg/_59944325_br_cosmo624.jpg"You were saying?
Dammit.
https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/1024/media/images/59944000/jpg/_59944325_br_cosmo624.jpg
Yeah well, he got to bang Loni Anderson in her prime too.
It sounds better in theory than in practice. Bearskin is not very sturdy. That’s why no action happens on my bearskin rug.
I tell myself that every night. Whatever gets us through the day I suppose.
That ad is bullshit. There’s no way she’s a butch lesbian.
“We must go back and kill them,” the bear said. “We must kill them all.”
“We must go back and kill them,” the bear said. “We must kill them all.”
This bears repeating.
I sense trouble bruin.
That is just a barbearic use of a pun
That was a grizzly pun.
Definitely not a Kodiak moment
It’s really the polar opposite of a good joke.
Reviews are in and your pun was generally pand, ah.
Ursa cha trouble maker.
Once Swissy gets his bearings he will surely will not paws to narrow his gaze.
He won’t fall for such shameless panda-ing.
Things are a little Fuzzy Wuzzy really a bear?
Now wondering if that was little Suzy from Calvin & Hobbes all grown up.
Little Suzi.
And this is from 1986.
Time to wake up…
Im…not sure how I feel about this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldbA86MZIJ0
The music is great but I think I could go without the visuals. Though…matches the SHT theme.
And…down a rabbit hole. Folk Punk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6TmNwwEo_A
Humans are amazing part #40304506
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nLmM9kcBKs
Spoon Lady is bloody awesome and one of the only exceptions to my primal hatred of busking.
Saw that when it first came out.
Try this:Old man MarkleyThe video features STEVE SMITH
When did this become furry fap theatre?
Was it ever not?
Are plushies furries?
Furries can be plushies; plushies are not necessarily interested in furries, but plushies are to furries essentially necrophiliacs.
I started to reread that to make sure I got it all, and then thought, “No. Just, no.”
*confused face*
The movers are at my house loading the furniture and packed boxes. I’m at a shopping center charging up the Tesla. (Stock price is back up over $800 again.)
I’ve done a few things today without communicating with a person after the movers: I got a car wash, put the Tesla on the supercharger, went to Panera and ordered using a kiosk. Never saw a human behind the counter.
It’s slightly disturbing…
True horror.
Go fuck yourself, Klaus.
Jump right over a simple present ‘proof’ to give us your blood. Fuck
I’m sure this will be fully implemented at the southern border…
The World Economic Forum just keeps becoming ever more sinister and living up to all the accusations ever levied against it by the tinfoil hatters.
Well, sometime last year conspiracy theories became spoiler alerts, so . . . .
They started releasing that stuff as soon as COVID hit. If you go back through their website and look at all their documents it’ll freak you the fuck out.
Oh fucking hell. I caught the first part of the president’s speech today on Give Me More Money Agenda…and the director who is introducing him might have well just came her pants.
And…he just cannot keep focus. Such a broken record and it reminds me of my great uncle. Lost in thought and rambles on with names he remembers but doesn’t quite know who the hell he is talking about.
So glad we vote this person into office. LETS GO BRANDON!
Well I screamed when I saw Courtney “The Joker” Cox…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwpHlcb0G2s
1996 Neve Champell was young Ed’s dream girl in junior high.
*looks up at early 2000s Friends episode on TV*
*sheds a tear*
She wasn’t the hottest on that show, but she has definitely screwed up what was a pretty face.
Regarding the car on the main page link to this story, I cite Animal’s Law of Inverse Bumper Sticker Intelligence: The number of bumper stickers on a car is directly related to the odds of the driver being a complete imbecile.
HAHAHA!
Joe just now
“Jill has my community college…..Dr. Biden..” hahahahahahahaha fuck I hate our current president.
MOST VOTES IN HISTORY!!!!
This is brilliant.
https://twitter.com/ke11ybender/status/1448936949012578304
Bravo.
And people fucking wonder why we won’t “trust the experts”.
A bureaucrat who has been working for the government since 1968 is only an “expert” at bureaucracy – and related fields such as back-stabbing and bribery.
You expect them to know the bureaucracy they work in? No… they’re experts in avoiding work, and passing the buck.
I had a Toyota Camry as a rental car last week. I couldn’t turn off the lane guidance bullshit – the car kept beeping at me and literally trying to jerk the wheel out of my hands. It drove me nuts.
If that crap is on every new car, I’m never buying a new car again.
Yea, I’m good on the car trying to do the driving for me.
I’ve already heard people fantasizing that once self-driving technology is viable, we can “just get rid of regular cars so there won’t be accidents anymore”.
“just get rid of regular cars so there won’t be accidents anymore”.
And you’ve never bitched about your home computer fucking something up right . . . . . . .
These people are dangerously naive.
?
I attribute a large portion of it to laziness and self-doubt. Understanding how things work takes time and effort.
I use many of the “assist” features of my Tesla but even I keep both hands on the wheel and foot hovering over pedals at ALL times.
I absolutely hate them.
I really dislike driving my wife’s Rogue because of all the lane alerting crap.
That’s not what I’m referring to. Autopilot in a plane is a fantastic feature, but it is foolish to not fully understand how it works and how it can go horribly wrong.
These people just turn their lives over to the machine without a second thought.
Not to worry; the machines will drive them straight to the vaccination station and then to the IRS without their needing to intervene.
Easy-peasy!
I have mine on “warn” only.
Narrow roads, parked cars, bicyclists have the thing freaking out roughly 50% of the time.
For the past year or so the “autopilot” thinks every overpass is a vehicle and slams on the brakes. So in addition to paying attention to traffic and the road while using it you also have to now look out for overpasses. Pretty much any road or traffic condition that doesn’t exist in CA and more broadly the western US is defined as an “edge case” by geniuses at Tesla.
Still really like the car, but refuse to buy the hype.
It’s an unfortunate side-effect of technology that does everything for them and takes away the requirement to think. I’ve seen people who freak out if their reverse camera on the vehicle momentarily stops working, as if there’s no possible way to back up if the camera isn’t showing you what’s back there… Or being unable to navigate (even while looking at a map) if the GPS glitches and won’t speak the directions to you.
We have the greatest computer in existence in our skulls, but actually using it is turning into a quaint hobby like calligraphy or pottery.
I don’t use the back up camera when I do actually drive my wife’s rogue.
Although, I think I might get an after market camera for my Xterra to line up the trailer and the hitch.
This is the only reason I like the backup cam on Mrs. Animal’s Expedition. Makes hooking up trailers much easier, as the camera is angled down enough you can actually see the trailer ball.
Automation breeds complacency.
Complacency turns minor events into catastrophic events.
It is very well documented that “safety” devices do, in fact, make people sloppy or complacent. The classic example is child-proof medicine bottles. Before they were invented, people were careful about keeping them out of reach. Once they became available, people would leave them out “because they’re childproof”. Result: Well, just guess.
I leave mine disabled. It’s sort of interesting tech, but PA roads are…not always good.
The Mighty Canyonero has no such silliness. I must drive correctly or risk running school buses off the road.
Today we found out that Drake is one of those jerks who hugs the edge of the lane.
King if the road!
“of”
Dammit
He paid for the whole road, he’s gonna use ALL of it!
You didn’t build that!
On the rental for my road trip, we spent too much time turning as much of that crap off as we could.
Most annoying was the adaptive cruise control. Yes, I want to get closer than five miles to that car, I can slip in front of the guy to my left and pass both, why are you slowing me down?
If that crap is on every new car, I’m never buying a new car again.
We’re pretty committed to never buying a new car again, or a used car with this crap on it, for exactly that reason.
The only time I’ve had contact with it is in rental cars, and we were literally flipping through the owners manual and searching online for how to turn it off. If the steering wheel twitches in my hand, I better have just run over a body.
OT: Hooray… today I learned that one group decided to change the retention policy of a historical database without consulting the users of said database.
/ducks to stay out of the crossfire
And this is unusual? Seems par for the course in today’s “agile” environment.
#agilemeansnomorepaperwork
Why would the users think that they get to have an opinion? /BOFH
OH wow, I’d be livid.
Hence why I’m keeping my head done. Retention was changed from 3-5 years (end user isn’t sure, but I think it was 3) to 1 year with no notice. Surprisingly call centers like being able to do year to year comparisons and use historical data for volume predictions/staffing requirements.
Lol. I am so glad I am no longer a DBA, where I had to deal with this shit on a regular basis.
Me, to infrastructure team: “The data partition on DB123 is 95% utilized. Gimme more space.”
Infra team: “That will cost 5900 quatloos”.
Me, to users “Got 5900 quatloos? Or, I can purge some historical data”.
Users: “Uh, no, we need all 15 years of those records. We are required to keep 5 years legally, but you never know.”
Me: “OK, so you are approving the spend for disk space?”
Users: “Look! squirrel!”
My company gets around that by making them as slow as molasses. Everybody snapshots what they need and uses a local copy / view. I don’t think they’d notice that 2015 wasn’t even available in the DB.
That works if your dataset is static. Those local copies don’t get updates, which can be all kinds of fun. “We got a 30% return!” “That’s funny, I only sho 10%”.
Been there done that.
For you with market data and the like that can be quite problematic.
Fortunately I no longer deal with that.
Retention?
We have to keep all data since the beginning of time “just in case”.
They even fight archiving older historical data off the main prod database because it means they’d need to run two SQLs for their report.
A British MP was stabbed to death by a Somali man. Seems like he was a decent guy, for a politician.
https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2021/10/15/slain-mp-sir-david-amess-social-conservative-brexiteer-animal-welfare-campaigner-and-public-servant/
I noted that earlier. The early reports did not say the attacker was Somali. I’m sure that has no bearing on his motives.
Some goat-humping Plaid Cymru guy blamed the ex-Tory for spreading hate.
He was angry that England has roads?
I’m a little curious if anyone sees this story the same way I do. I think the bitties at The View are being deliberately obtuse about the problem people have with Buttigieg multi-month leave. No, it isn’t that he’s gay. Or that they object to the notion of leave in principle. It’s that he’s ostensibly the boss. And a major crisis was developing in the purview of his organization’s portfolio. Sorry, if there’s one person in an organization that doesn’t get to walk off to deal with quality of life issues, it’s the person in charge. And, at risk of sounding awful and terrible by modern, woke sensibilities, Buttigieg isn’t even the babies’ mother. There’s no real reason why it’s absolutely, utterly and totally necessary that he be physically present with the kids.
We used to live in an era when grown-ass adults, even liberal grown-ass adults, understood the notion of “responsibility”. You’d think that sane people would expect the most powerful and privileged people in our society to have a basic understanding of the concept.
I have a mid level tech that is on baby leave and I called his ass back cause I needed the personnel. That was because we had 2 get called up for guard duty. So yeah, he should have said “I gotta go back” a month ago.
I’d be happy to run back to my job from leave. Of course, since it is part of my compensation package, I’d expect double pay at a minimum.
I took no pleasure in it and I minimized it for two weeks. We offer it, Ill honor it. Like I said above, we offer up to 9 months of baby leave.
If my company didn’t have a habit of pointing to our leave program and other benefits while paying us below what our competitors pay, I’d probably have a different attitude. Not that I’m ungrateful or anything like that, just protective of the various forms of non-salary compensation they give us. I’m also not in any position of authority, so I feel no need to run the department or anything like that.
That said, I’ve been out and about representing my company during the leave. In fact, next week I’m recording another speaking engagement for a conference. It’s the least I can do.
And on top of that…nearly all of the DOT, especially front-line managers on up to executive is on max-telework. His excuse and cover is completely bullshit.
While I’m perfectly happy to slap Buttigieg around, does anybody really think his personal involvement wouldn’t have made things worse?
That was my comment earlier. Just stop fucking around with it and let the market sort itself out.
But that’s not an option.
Not at all and that should have been his response. Instead fell back on “im a new daddy”
Then why does his job even exist?
Fire his ass.
Buttigieg?
Well, no, probably not. But, someone reasonably competent might have looked at the situation and found out where there was a bottleneck and what the government could possibly do to stop creating a bottleneck.
When I hear “The View” I immediately start thinking that the world would be a better place if a cluster bomb was dropped on the studio, so my confirmation biases come into play just a hair.
Speaking of The View, one of them bought a gun.
Please bring it to work, please, please, please….
Oh, and there’s a non-zero chance she’ll shoot herself in the cooch.
Sorry, if there’s one person in an organization that doesn’t get to walk off to deal with quality of life issues, it’s the person in charge.
Absolutely correct. You want the Big Chair? Fine, but be prepared to make it your top priority. If its not, then you resign.
I have no problem saying “the cost of a cabinet post is you get no personal life. Deal with it or get a real life job, you pansy.”
He’s not irreplaceable nor is he entitled to the position. If you’re unable to serve more than briefly unexpectedly (like you have a car accident and are in a hospital for a day or two), the correct answer is resign. Doesn’t matter if it’s stress, paternity leave, maternity leave, fighting cancer, or recovering from a stroke. Resign. Period. That goes for any cabinet appointee and most senior political appointees.
Everybody knows General Patton took some me-time during the Battle of the Bulge to destress and focus on his emotional health.
I know this is going to sound old-fashioned, but I was raised to believe that when you’re granted an “important position”, it’s an honor. Not an honor as some sort of reward for being a great person or anything, but an honor in the sense of a vote of confidence. You’re supposed to be given the position because the people putting you there think you can live up to the demands of the role and excel in that position of trust. Your responsibility, at that point, is to live up to that trust, to prove that their faith in you was well-founded. And the higher or more important the role, the greater the demand that you live up to that trust. If you can’t do it, fine, there’s no shame in that. But, then, if you have any integrity, the thing to do is to step aside and let someone better suited take the responsibility.
LOL
Positions of power aren’t about responsibility, they’re about the maximization of virtue signaling.
And opportunities for grifting, now and in the future.
Responsibility means never having to admit you’re sorry.
https://babylonbee.com/news/al-qaeda-threatening-to-release-insensitive-comedy-special
There are concerns, however, that the Al-Qaeda comedian will bomb.
This is how you close an article.
This is also a gem:
“We did release Cuties,” said Netflix CEO and founder, Bob Netflix. “So it would be pretty hypocritical to draw the line at Al-Qaeda.”
“Each new generation born is in effect an invasion of civilization by little barbarians, who must be civilized before it is too late.” -Thomas Sowell
Narrator: Its too late.
Looks like the Birds Aren’t Real stuff is just a bunch of GenZ post hipsterism bullshit:
https://www.newstatesman.com/culture/digital-distractions/2021/10/birds-arent-real-and-this-man-wants-the-world-to-know
I am so damn disappointed.
As is Hitchcock.
ACK ACK ACK!!
https://i.imgur.com/lzfYkGo.jpg
(Mars attacks poster that’s enroute to my NV house)
Ah, I thought you were doing Bill the Cat.
In the movie, it was a white dove released by a hippie during “first contact” that set off the gunfight/slaughter.
Then the Martians also clearly were “triggered” by the Eagle on the presidential seal.
So they no likey the birdies.
https://www.politico.com/news/2021/10/15/inflation-2022-516064
Americans are likely to face higher prices on everything from gasoline to groceries well into next year — threatening to turn a simmering economic issue into a major political one.
The rapid reopening of the economy this summer led to massive price hikes for travel services, used cars and other goods that were initially dismissed as fleeting phenomena. But the inflation spike now appears to be on track to persist deep into 2022, when midterm elections will determine who controls Congress, as clogged supply chains, labor shortages and unabated consumer demand push costs even higher.
Fucking idiots.
Creating 4 trillion dollars out of thing air led to massive price hikes. The only reason it took a year to show up is that government shut down a major portion of the retail segment of the economy at the same time.
Don’t worry, they’ll just shut it down again and everything will be fine.
Shut down!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2P5RCurT8Yw
A pinch of money printing added to a cup of unnecessary supply restriction liberally seasoned with COVID uncertainty and paying people to not work so the goods can’t even be offloaded is the recipe.
I’m trying to remember which Team Blue talking head said that inflation was only problematic for the wealthy.
https://i.imgur.com/ca2bmus.jpg
awesome
It takes a special kind of moron to think that “reopening” an economy too quickly leads to problems. Not the shutdown in the first place. Not the idiotic acts of those people who think they’re in command. All that dirty, greasy individual economic action starting up at once again.
It’s not a power plant or a chemical production facility. There’s no way to ease into starting it up. It just has to be let go, but these idiots think they can “engineer” it.