“I did it, Stephen. I did it like you told me. I left them in the desert.”
“What are you talking about?” Thomas asked sleepily. “Wait, what are doing in my house?”
Walking into Stephen’s house, Thomas realized he had never been in it without Sharon, some tedious couples thing or play date with the kids. Everything had taken on a new significance: the small bowl Stephen dropped his keys into, the immaculate hallway rug, the white, white, white bedroom filled with light.
Stephen sat up in bed, the light sheet falling away to show his well-toned body. “Tom, what are you talking about?”
“I’m free, I’m free,” I said to him, climbing on the bed and jumping up and down. “We can finally be together.”
We went camping exactly where Stephen suggested, the spot bleak and rugged and isolated. Sharon hated it immediately. “I wanted to go glamping,” she whined. “I wanted to sleep in a sustainably-sourced yurt.” Jackson rolled his eyes and played on his phone until it got dark.
“It’s OK, it’s all going to be OK. I made it look like a bear attack!” I told Stephen excitedly. I was confused when he reached for his phone.
“Who are you calling?” I asked, sitting down on the bed. It was still warm from him. I slid an arm under the sheet to feel it. The whole room had his smell: clean sweat and cut grass and two-stroke engine exhaust. Stephen had a job doing something with computers. But he never smelled like computers.
“I’m calling the police, you fucking maniac!’ Stephen said. I slapped the phone out of his hand.
Sharon was easy. I “bumped” into her while we were hiking the ridge. I watched her fall between two boulders, pinballing between them and I was screaming so that if anyone was around I could call it an accident. Mommy fall down, go boom, Jackson would have said when he was three.
“Why would you call the police? I’m going to go over there and talk to them in a few minutes, silly.” I darted in for a quick kiss. He pushed me away playfully, knocking me off the bed and into the glass balcony doors. “Oh, you,” I said, “always such a tease.” He bolted for the bedroom door and I caught him by the boxer shorts and brought him down. As he clawed at the carpet, I pulled the shorts off. His ass was magnificent.
I watched his wife leave for work, dressed business casual. Sharon told me what she did for a living but I didn’t remember it. She would have to go too. At least they didn’t have any kids. Jackson died hard, screaming Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! as I ripped him up. Bear attack! Rowr! I’m sure the dull knife will look like claws. BOY ATTACKED BY BEAR WHILE GUARDING MOTHER’S DEAD BODY the headline will read. Thoughts and prayers. Set up a GoFundMe. Leave with Stephen for somewhere warm after the fickle eye of social media moved on.
“I got strong for you!” I say as I climb up his back. Painfully erect inside my Dockers, my penis nestles in-between his butt cheeks. Stephen is crying with joy. I try to get my shirt off with one hand but he uses his free arm to elbow me in the face. I fall back stunned, seeing stars. That’s a weird turn of phrase. Do real stars rise and fade when you see them? It makes no sense at all.
That first day I saw him getting the bicycle off the roof of his Forester I knew he wanted me; so I bought a Forester myself and used it to get in shape. Sharon insisted on coming with me and dragging Jackson along. I wanted to go camping with Stephen, couldn’t she understand that? I joined a gym. I ate twelve eggs for breakfast. I made my dad bod melt away. Sharon got all excited that I was taking care of myself but her torn-up vagina repulsed me, her dark-nippled breasts sagged like a milch cow. I would leave the bedroom when she changed clothes. The only release I had was Stephen. I’d watch him from our bedroom window mowing his yard or staining his deck or swimming endless laps in his pool. I wiped myself off with Sharon’s curtains.
“You want to play rough?” I ask him. “That’s OK, I like to play rough too.” I climb back onto his and grab his throat from behind. I dig my fingers into his neck and feel his pulse. I should have brought some rope or tape so we could really play. He gurgled and thrashed, really getting into it. “Stephen?” came a woman’s voice. Goddammit! His wife was supposed to be gone. He began to kick at the floor and bucked me off.
Stephen, Stephen, Stephen, I rolled his name around in my mouth like it was the sweetest candy. That first night on the I saw him in the driveway, in bed with Sharon but thinking about him, I pulled her panties off and took her from behind, in the dark, pushing her face down into her pillow so she couldn’t ruin it by talking. Surprise anal. Surprise! I had to sleep on the couch for a few days but I wanted to be alone anyway. She’s dead now. Her brains are all over the pine needles and rocks. I am free, we will be free.
“Hi, honey, I’m home!” I yell from the top of the stairs. I took the time to strip off my shirt and shorts while Stephen struggled to breathe, no sense getting any blood on them. “Tom!” she gasps, staring at my erection. It is longer and thicker than it has even been. I feel like the skin would begin to split and slough off if it got any harder. “What’s happening?” she asks in her dumb little bird voice. “What’s happening, what’s happening?” I say, mocking her and walking down the steps toward her, my mighty erection bobbing. I’m huge. I could fuck the world. I could fuck it in half.
I’m at the bottom of the stairs. I don’t remember falling. I’m at the bottom of the stairs. I reach for her leg as she runs past me. I am wet. My ears are ringing. Stephen is looking at me. “Motherfucker!” he spits. My chest begins to hurt. My hand is wet. I begin to stroke my erection furiously. “I love you,” I tell him. “I love you.”
<blockquote<“I did it, Stephen. I did it like you told me. I left them in the desert.”
“What are you talking about?” Thomas asked sleepily. “Wait, what are doing in my house?”
I feel that the Hair in the second sentence should also be the Hat.
Excellent proofreading, dude.
Karma, she is a bitch.
Jesus fucking Christ! I am alternating between dumbfounded horror and uncontrollable laughter!
An evil genius, you are.
Surprise!
*speechless*
No shit – there are no words I’d even want to have.
I feel dirty for laughing.
My first take at the beginning of the ad was “the neighbor is fucking his wife,” but SF’s version goes perfectly with the ending.
That ending really left SF with no other option, right? It’s like he was reading my mind.
SHT lurks in the shadows, duct tape in hand, waiting for you to begin to speak.
Wow. That is all.
Just when it seemed like SHT was getting downright wholesome, we get a return to form.
I thought Subaru was a lesbian brand?
I can’t keep up! Anyway, thoroughly disgusting, and a nice distraction on this most Friday of Fridays.
Dude is that me in your avatar?
Allies count too.
Holy shit, that commercial was more homoerotic than the fiction.
Oh lord…
Yes, you can just imagine the creative session.
“Wouldn’t you say there are more gay men than lesbians? Isn’t that a demographic we should tap?”
Are we not doing phrasing any more?
Would you have preferred market penetration?
I watched the video first this time, and yeah, you definitely get that vibe at the ending,
I don’t want to be the home inspector that has to look in SF’s crawlspace.
Oh I think you can be sure that his trophy collection is far more subtle, and accessible.
I’m envisioning one of those pushbutton remote controls that drop murphy-bed shelves out of the walls.
Filled with Home Inspectors.
I know I’m jumping the gun on OT, but this is infuriating:
CDC director: U.S. may update definition of full vaccination for COVID-19
Soon the fully vaccinated will no longer count as fully vaccinated. This shit will never end until there are heads on pikes.
I think this will take those people who reluctantly bit the bullet and said ‘go ahead, give me the shot(s) and be done with it’ to say ‘I thought that was all anti-vaxxer talk, but clearly you have no intentions that are scientific in nature’.
Why yes, that’s exactly what I say.
Just might be a gift…guess we will see.
I surely hope that it will be seen as the naked power play it is. There are plenty of people out there who just got it “to get on with [their] li[ves]” and hopefully will now be awakened to the fact that this is without basis and without end.
“They mean to rule you.”
I’ve seen a lot of people who are just tired of the mask mandates. Compliance is minimal. I don’t think this will go over well. With breakthrough infections, and stories of high -profile people dying while fully vaccinated (Colin Powell?), and entire countries with high vaccination rates still having major waves, the CDC’s credibility on this issue is in the trash. I can’t see them spinning their way through this.
Spinning? That was yesterday. They’re going to mandate the shit out of it.
Unless the new definition is “Anyone who’s had the disease or even thought about it”, they can go fuck themselves.
*scrounges around for shocked face*
I’ve got it over here, right behind my 3 by 5 cards that say “I told you so.”
In keeping with the original theme, I believe that Thomas has a drawer full of them.
“Our ‘trials’ aren’t over yet.”
I will happily remain in the control group, thank you very much.
“Just do this one thing and you can have your life back.”
*pulls back curtain to reveal series of drawn lines stretching to the horizon*
The one thing is not on any of those lines, it’s in murdering anyone who claims you have to do anything to get back what they’re stealing.
For a while there, I was pondering just shutting up and taking the jab, just to be weak, go with the flow, protect my job, etc.
Now I look back and am ashamed how weak I almost was. And every single one of these news items, and there are many, steels my resolve more and more that I will never submit to this experimental butchery of human beings.
This was always going to happen. It is a respiratory illness (i.e. mutates constantly), after all. The shots are meant to be forever. ///AlexJonesWasRight
As J&J sufferer this pisses me off too.
That said my assumption would be this is bluster. But just. They are already running into a wall on vaccinations and some people will deal with just one injection, but draw the line at two. If you do this you’ll fail to capture this group. Second, unless other countries adopt this same standard it’s going to make things confusing as hell for travellers from other countries coming into the US as well as US citizens going to other countries.
That said it’s not like I give fools in DC that much credit. I can see them doing exactly that. But realistically statistically it’s going to lower the US vaccination rate and I’m not sure they want to print that number.
Great work, SF, it’s as though you had never left. I’m only glad this is in the morning, I may be able to sleep but I’ll be nervous as a young mother.
I did it, Fourscore. I did it like you told me. I left them in the bee shed.
Oh no, there are some other things drying there, for later!
I do like a good montage, but the montage in that commercial was excessive even by my standards.
And SF, you’ve once again managed to walk the line between funny and horrifying. Well done.
Wait…
This is a sequel to the Barn Wedding one, isn’t it? Bride knocked up by hipster… IT IS!
Step the fuck back WaPo
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/10/21/vaccination-star-signs-utah-leos-scorpios/
That has more scientific basis than any of the past 19 months of SCIENCE!
I figured the comments would be gold, and I was right.
Yep that is all that it is…nailed it right on the head. Why hasn’t anyone promoted this person to the head of the FDA?
Probably still maintains the gender “they” were assigned at birth.
That’s not how you make Admiral!
But what are the vaccination rates in the Flat Earth Society?
That’s critical public health information and the Post is completely ignoring it.
Serious question.
Are there any vaxxers whose opinions are being changed? With the evidence coming in? My only knowledge is a vaxxer friend, he and his wife were looking forward to the boosters. Whatever is necessary to get this pandemic under control.
Who knows. I’ve pretty much isolated myself from my friends in the hardcore vaxxing society. Mostly for my own safety and in an attempt to not go ballistic on them.
We were talking about it at my group’s happy hour last night. I said the virus is here to stay, we should get used to it and get on with life. A coworker said, “That’s right. We’ll just get boosters with our flu shots.” Wrong! I got the vaccine because I foolishly thought this would be the end of it. If they start forcing boosters, they can go Brandon themselves.
“You’re stupid enough to get the flu shot too? I thought you were better than that.”
That’s almost what I said. I don’t get the flu shot, because every time I do, I get the flu. And even in the best years it’s only 65% effective. The person is fully on board with the Covid theater. She has comorbidities, so she does need to be careful, and I can understand some of her concerns, but she’s too eager to force people to comply.
Whatever is necessary to get this pandemic under control.
Vaccines drive a pandemic, particularly for this type of virus. This was common epidemiological knowledge until recently.
First off, yeah? I don’t like needles. That is a small but significant part of my objection to this worthless vaccine.
Second, do you really think that if the Approved Nightly News stops showing close-ups of people getting shots, I’ll somehow forget that all the vaccines are intramuscular injections? Sweet drunken Enkidu, you’re even stupider than you think I am…
Who knew the Stepford Wives was non-fiction.
The unvaccinated are fearful of the needle!
No. As someone with a family history of cardiovascular problems I am concerned about those relevant side-effects. Plus I simply don’t need a “vaccine” for a disease that mutates constantly and has a 99.998% recovery rate in my demographic. CWAA.
I absolutely want me sign ranked the lowest.
Oh, and, spoken like a true Team Red/Team Blue moron. “It’s all about Rah Rah Rah Team!”, not any sort of personal or scientific scrutiny.
Arrrr matey, batten the hatches while you’re at it and bring me a flagon of mead
My sign is pretty low in the table.
That’s disappointingly high, Aquarius.
What a ride.
Yee haw!
Unironicly using the term ‘glamping?’
“…sustainably-sourced yurt?”
Sharon got what was coming to her.
Surprise!
Speaking of masks (from the end of the AM lynx):
robc on October 22, 2021 at 11:17 am
Larimer Co reinstated a mask mandate this week (Wednesday). Which means it is going in just after cases have peaked, in both CO and the county.
Stupid. I mean, mask mandates are anyway, but if you were going to do it, about 9/1 would have been the time. While the cases are rising, not after the peak.
But this way, they can claim cases declined when they imposed the mandate. SCIENCE! vindicates them.
Off to go do some tax avoidance and deposit $520 in checks. /waves hello to IRS agents with the Let’s Go Brandon gesture.
Come to think of it…I will now call “flipping the bird” “giving a Brandon” or some variation.
Did that man just give me the Brandon?
I think it’s this: ??
It’s not individual transactions – it’s annual total transactions. So you’d better be ready to start a lot of accounts.
I have left instructions in our wills that state…”Do not just throw away books….you should ‘read’ them”
Hopefully, the kids realize what that means.
Years back a friend’s mother died. After the funeral it was discovered that grand kids had visited grandma’s house earlier and “read” all her books and left them strewn about the floor.
What lovely grandchildren. Hopefully they were told that Grandma left them all her debts.
That’s why we want the kids to read them…don’t think its a windfall you ungrateful little shits.
“There’s always money in the banana stand.”
Glad I refreshed before commenting…
Fuck that!
There’s money in the Banana Stand!
Too late, OBE, the bank cameras are monitored by both the IRS and the FBI, Your insubordination has been duly noted and a check mark added to your dossier.
*marks bingo card* So close to winning!
We’re all getting gold stars, woohoo!
It’s been a bad year for people actually named Karen or Brandon . . . I knew a couple in college that were Karin and Brandon, I wonder if they got married?
I’ve got a buddy named Brandon who loves it, but he’s somewhere to the right of Alex Jones.
I had dinner with some friends last night, one of whom is named Brandon. He seemed to think it was funny.
Fun,
https://spectatorworld.com/topic/joe-biden-soviet-town-hall/
This time I read it before I watched the commercial.
I…I…dont know how I feel.
New company policy. Even though the government hasn’t mandated anything the company I’m working for will give you a choice. Get vaccinated or submit to once a week testing.
Tell them you want the anal swab testing. Mandate it.
They probably will anyway. I’m sure they’re going to make it as uncomfortable as possible to do the testing. We’ll see how long I can hold out.
I figure, if I get my accommodation, that it will be this and make sure my presence inside of a facility is akin to wearing a “U” on my chest.
But medical information is private so your co-worker will never know your vaccinated status. Now stand in this line in the hallway where we’re testing and put on this mask we’re only giving to certain people and no one could ever guess what that means.
When we built our new ATCT here in Vegas, our manager was such an idiot and had all the ‘randomly selected’ persons for drug testing standing in the hallway. Some people got some unpaid leave for that. So yeah, it will be interesting to see how they protect my privacy.
I’m right on the edge of thinking testing is reasonable (once a week seems excessive however). But, if they make the employee pay for it, then no. It’s the exact same thing as imposing a fiscal penalty, a FINE if you will, if you refuse to bend the knee. I’m not OK with that.
I’m not. Forced medical procedure is unethical.
^^^ this. It may not be so unethical as to warrant quitting and revolting, but it’s not ethical either. Piss test as a condition of hiring? Sure. Piss test on occasion as part of the employment agreement for jobs where being intoxicated can be a safety issue? Okay, I guess. Brain swab for this piss-ass cold virus? Fuck no!
Not seeing a distinction between the piss test and this.
I really wish something would come out of this but nothing will
https://twitter.com/JeremyRedfernFL
Fuck…whatever it fits.
Rand Paul retweeted it with googly eyes
It’s not even reasonable. The infection fatality rate is very low. I know at least six people who have had it, ranging in age from about 55 to 91. Four became seriously ill, but didn’t require hospitalization (one at 55, two in their 70s), and one died (in her late 50s-early 60s). The 91-year-old had minor symptoms and made it through fine, even though he has some comorbidities including heart issues requiring a pacemaker.
I guess what really bothers me about this is that we now know that the vaccine is not. It’s more of a pre-therapeutic. Since that is the case if you’re going to test potential carriers and spreaders of the virus. You have to test everyone. Well except those who have had the virus already and have strong immunity. Follow the science indeed.
Yes. If you follow a logical path:
We must test people to ensure they aren’t carrying the virus for the protection of others.
Those who carry the virus can infect others.
Vaccinated people can carry the virus, at high viral loads.
Therefore, all people, even the vaccinated, must be tested.
I’m right on the edge of thinking testing is reasonable
Do you get tested for the flu when you have zero symptoms?
Get vaccinated
No.
or submit to once a week testing.
No.
And good luck finding a suitable replacement.
JFC.
Outstanding.
Yeah, the bit about Jackson was really, really dark, even for SF.
I feel vaguely nauseated. Or maybe that’s from lunch.
I watched video after reading – so very, very homoerotic.
Top Men at NIH are tossing each other under the bus.
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/policy/healthcare/fauci-critics-say-nih-letter-debunks-gain-of-function-denial
CYA, obfuscation, new news cycle….and nothing.
https://nypost.com/2021/10/22/prop-gun-used-by-alec-baldwin-in-shooting-contained-live-round-union/
Someone needs to go to jail on this one.
It’s a real live murder mystery.
Just out of curiosity, why was he pointing it at the cinematographer? Shouldn’t it have been at a fellow actor? Plus, how did he manage to shoot 2 people with a single bullet from a prop gun? That seems highly difficult.
a .44 round will go through a person, you just need two of them in a line.
It’s a cowboy movie, so it wouldn’t be .44 magnum.
And you think those .44s can’t go through a person?
The black powder loads were very anemic by modern standards. I have seen a purported demonstration showing them not going through 2x4s.
A: Are they even using authentic loads?
B: I’m going to need more evidence that those weak loads were real, normal, and not aberrant or the result of poor storage conditions.
Well, if you take a reproduction gun and use the recommended loads from the manufacturer, sure. I have a reproduction 1858 Remington revolver that will bounce a .44 lead ball off a piece of plywood with the recommended light loads. If you read farther down in the manual you see the “real” loads that aren’t just for plinking at paper. Those will do quite a bit of damage.
But I am not sure whether they’d “go through” a person. Probably, since lead balls aren’t designed to expand.
It’s likely that the gun used in filming is a cartridge revolver, and there’s no requirement for it to be of any particular caliber. You can get reproduction guns that look like a Peacemaker that are chambered for .44 magnum or .44 special, which is no joke of a cartridge either.
Can confirm. A few years back I got some .45 Colt “Cowboy Action” loads that are supposed to be safe in antique revolvers and more or less duplicate black powder ballistics, plus just a little. The difference between them and my own .45 Colt loads was remarkable. Never fired them at a 2×4, but I know my own loads will go through a railroad tie and will easily lengthwise a big Midwestern farm-country whitetail.
For instance, here’s the manual for F.Illi Pietta reproduction guns.
On Page 18 they show a “suggested” load and a “maximum load. For a .44 revolver, the “suggested” load is 12-15 grains of FFFg black powder. the “Maximum” load is 35 grains of FFFg.
I can tell you the suggested load will bounce off plywood, as I said (which scared the crap out of me the first time I fired the gun, because the round came right back at me). The maximum load punches through a lot of wood.
There was another shooter. It’s the only explanation. /tinfoil hattery.
I knew a guy who as a joke would load two light bullets into a .357 magnum case and take one shot at each target and have two nicely spaced holes.
Wait, that means some bar-owner is going to kill Baldwin before he can talk [again].
+1 Grassy Knoll.
Maybe the scene called for a shot fired in the direction of the camera.
Personally I think he noon consensually diddled her and she was gonna go public so he came up with this. /Tin foil
Even in that case, I always understood that the standard practice was to place armor glass between the camera and the shooter. The “making of” features on The Matrix went over this, IIRC.
And TBH, even with armor glass, I have such an ingrained reaction against pointing a gun at a person, I’d feel really creeped out by doing it for filming.
Never knew that, what about when pointed at other people on screen?
At least in the case of The Matrix, yes. But it was filmed in Australia, I think, so perhaps they have laws regarding that, or stricter protections in the standard contracts?
They should either be shielded, or use camera tricks to make it look like they are firing at other people even though they aren’t.
Could be something foolish on the director’s part like that. Could be Baldwin fucking around on set. I guess we’ll find out eventually.
Next week on Alec Baldwin Horror Theater…
It’s a real live murder mystery.
In one of the Hitman games that was one of the methods of killing an actor target on the opera level – replace a prop gun with a real gun.
That freaking thing took me an hour and a half to set up dammit. But it was by far the most satisfying method. You could stand there in the theater and watch the target get shot, then waltz on out into the streets in plain view, with no one suspecting anything. Good times….
According to that article Baldwin was demanding to know why he was given a “hot gun.”
I think everyone around Baldwin should demand to know why he didn’t inspect the gun himself to make sure it was cold.
I mean, seriously. Someone hands you a gun, the very first thing you do is remove the magazine if it has one that can be removed, and then inspect the action.
Do you think he knows how to check?
If you don’t know how to check the condition of a gun and someone hands one to you, wouldn’t you ask?
Ignorance is no excuse. You know guns can be dangerous to handle. If you have any questions at all, you ask them. Would an actor jump out of an airplane without being thoroughly instructed in the use of his parachute?
Yup.
Actors ain’t the brightest of people.
Particularly actors that like to talk politics as though they actually know something.
You just clip onto the static line, then jump out when the guy says “go!”
You’re talking about Alec Baldwin here.
Of course he’s not going to ask.
^^^^ This. To Baldwin, guns are icky unless they’re props helping him to make multi million dollars. I guarantee, he knows nothing about firearm safety, smugly thinking that’s for “those deplorables in flyover country”.
You seriously expect a Very Important Hollywood Actor to do something that you or I could have done by age six?
I’m still wondering where the firearms master was in all this, assuming there even was one. Did Alec fire the gun while filming, or was he dicking around with it off-camera?
Very good question. If he was not actively filming, the gun should have been in the care of the weapons wrangler.
I also think that even with a weapons master on set, the final responsibility lies with the person wielding the firearm to verify its safety. Nothing absolves the shooter from ultimate responsibility, even if there are other staff that also have legal responsibility.
It just “discharged” did it? All by itself?
Was he playing a cop?
Qualified immunity will be invoked then. Shit, case closed.
He hit the target. Therefore, no.
How hard do you think they searched to find this person named Brandon that is severely disabled, so Biden can say “Lets go Brandon”
https://redstate.com/nick-arama/2021/10/22/did-biden-just-try-to-flip-the-lets-go-brandon-meme-n461136
Not going to work. This meme has some real legs. And no Joe, 81 million did not vote for you. They voted against the guy in power. Best you remember that.
There were not 81 million voters with ballots marked for him either.
What you did there was seen.
It’s disgraceful how they’re using a severely disabled person like that in a cheap PR stunt. The same goes for the guy in the wheelchair.
I can’t imagine that this could do other than go badly wrong for Biden.
Cringey AF.
Someone in this administration is being touted as a genius for this move. But I guarantee this will just be fuel for more memes.
Brandon should have said “No, Fuck you.”
**Golf Clap**
Oh man, I didn’t even pick up on that the first time. Well played, TOK!
See? I came up with that in like 10 seconds, and I’m not even a professional meme creator.
Is it wrong to prefer Subaru Theatre over H&H and Joemala? Because I do, and I ain’t sorry.
Your personal preferences are up to you.
I treat them like the local grab-n-go bins at the market. You never know what you are gonna get and sometimes its exactly what you want.
There’s room for all in my heart. Also, do these all take place in a single Sugarverse? Or are they in separate silos? I need to know before I start my fan fiction project.*
* j/k
I’d just rather hear SF’s psychotic musings about “real people” than politicians, I guess.
I have no idea what is going on here.
Look at the license plate. This is not America! Those are not Americans!
Yeah, I live in a state where you only have a license plate on the back of the vehicle. You can have whatever you want on the front bumper.
But in the commercial, the plate is the same on the front and on the back.
Just look at them, clearly not Americans license plate or no.
The YT channel About is in Lithuanian (if you can believe Google Translate).
So, “Gay or European?” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(NTTIATWWT)
I went to make a turkey sandwich with the sourdough we have and noticed it was starting to mold, tiny tiny amounts. I made a choice that because we are so severely hamstringing our immune systems with all these silly rules that the mold would be worth it and give the system something to battle for a bit..
Mmm penicillin
If I were college-aged or younger, I would have actually probably done that. Scrape it off and good to go. Now? Eh, I will walk to the store and buy more…hopefully…it was looking a little bare again.
If you can see any mold at all on bread, then there’s probably more inside the bread that you can’t see.
Eh, I just dragged it along the grout a bit to scrape off the mold. Looked good after that.
Update your will. 😉
Eating moldy bread is only slightly less lethal than COVID.
Uh-oh!
You know how LCPS board had no record of the bathroom rape? They totally had a record of the rape.
Well it was clearly a mistaken report on the part of the female student, as she alleged that a male student sexually assaulted her.
So it was a shenis that was inserted into her? Case dismissed!
The school’s counseling team is providing services for students who witnessed the parent’s behavior.
School counseling team member in action.
Love how they gloss right over the alleged assault of the girl and shift of focus on the parents in that email. Fuck em all. Maybe AG Garland was correct that school boards need protection.
another case of “Republicans seize”
I thought they pounced.
…both?
Yep. Sexual assaults are not traumatizing, but pissed off parents are.
Seems to suggest that the only trauma they perceived was the possible loss of a job and a lawsuit.
alleged victim
Wow.
And why is the rape weaseled but the parent incident, statements, and overheard by stated/students stated as a fact?
Because the rape would be a liability to the school, but the vicious racist parent being a Trumpalo is an obvious fact?
I wonder if major film actors carry insurance in case they accidentally cause harm to another cast or crew member during the performance of their professional duties?
Individually? Probably not. Someone like Tom Cruise might because he does his own stunts but generally SAG is their cover. It’s usually the production who carries the insurance against the actor – like when you hear about talent that’s uninsurable because of substance abuse. And there are LOTS of rules for firearm handling – clearly more than one person fucked up. I read on Twitter that the armorer had walked off a few days ago, so if that’s true and the production didn’t replace that person, that’s a yuuuuuge liability.
But Baldwin is definitely not the type to know what to do. There are actors who know – someone like Keanu and Jim Caviezel who’ve had lots of practical training, or a few who served like Adam Driver who was a Marine (though hardly any project of his uses guns), but most get the bare minimum and depend on the crew.
Only a couple of reasons I could imagine someone with that job would walk off: vaccine requirement or actors/directors were ignoring his rules and standards.
Perhaps we have evidence of that already
Please note, I am not believing this just yet but it is too good to pass up in case it comes true:
https://twitter.com/WarrenPlatts/status/1451572439176122371
That’s a little too “just so.”
*taps nose* I know..but it had to be done.
“Too good to fact-check”
That would be too perfect.
However…given his noted…unhinged personality traits, past behavior and deep hatred for anyone Trump or Trump-adjacent…I could see him fucking off with the firearm while trying to be funny…
It’s fake, it’s an altered version of an actual article. They added the Trump line.
I figured that I just wanted to have some fun though…
I phrase I use that actually got me a compliment yesterday was “I’ve heard, but I do not know…”
Or as F.U. would put it I would never say such a thing…
Watch Trump retweet this and step all over his dick.
Absolutely he will..you know he will.
Trump is back on Twitter?
They should let him back on for this one special occasion.
LOL.
He needs TP!
I LOL’d
Ha! I didn’t see any of the broadcast or pictures, only saw the thing about “stiff man syndrome” or whatever. Didn’t realize what that meant.
Oh good god please someone create the meme with President Beavis + My Butts Been Wiped
Scott Adams was doing that this morning on his livestream. It’s really refreshing to have a president that’s respected, isn’t it? No foreign leaders making fun of him or anything like that.
I just think it’s so very nice that the adults are back in charge now. I feel secure in my bed, just like a child with his blankie wrapped around him.
From the comments:
I am the great cornpopio!
I need poolchain for my bunnnnnngggggghole!
OMG!
The news cycle is a gift from God to memers everywhere.
heh.
“Man, I don’t even have an opinion”
lmao
https://twitter.com/i/status/1451630379618738189
Its going to be a bumpy ride…someone somewhere in the world better do something stupid cause I don’t see these stopping.
Brutal.
Honestly, while these are objectively funny, I really do feel bad for the deceased. It’s really in poor taste to have her death be a footnote to a bunch of people dunking on a notable douchebag.
2 Unit Director: Da Fuq?!?!?
Baldwin: I don’t know man you musta hit a bump or somethin’
What is the point of having “fuck you” money if you are going to kowtow to these crybaby cuntes?
Dave Chappelle is willing to have a conversation with members of the trans community who feel like he’s inflicted harm on them with his LGBTQ+ jokes … and it sounds like the ball is now in their court.
The comedian’s rep tells TMZ … Dave would be open to dialogue if folks from Netflix actually reach out to him for a discussion.
Dave’s camp says no one from Netflix has approached Chappelle or his team about setting up a meeting or conversation … which is the opposite of what the woman who organized the Netflix walkout claims.
Ugh…go in, make even more jokes and disappear for another couple of years.
I was very confused about who was who and the shifting points of view. Then we got to the ass tape and I tapped out.
I’ll wait for the next one.
I hear most people tap out at that point…from…what friends tell me.
Ass tape?
Bravo
HA!
I watched the video and did not read what SugarFree wrote.
My first thought is neighbor dude banged glasses-wearing dude’s wife, and glasses-wearing dude killed the wife.
Time to read the story and see what SugarFree’s take is.
Whoa.
Close but no cigar.
I like SugarFree’s version better.
Making fun of Bush, but equally fits…I believe NSFW language.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEvAplZQpW4
*sigh* this is what I get for doing online training, work and glib shitposting.
I really hope you’re doing those on separate computers. You risk tripping off a live round in the wrong direction otherwise.
Yes sir..Im no toobin
Close but no cigar.
I thought everyone was smoking a ciggie after that episode.
So Ozy, I guess I should know this, but what year was your anthrax litigation? Guess who seems to have been doubly compensated because he was also a bio-defense expert?
Training should reward knowledge… But that isn’t what I am getting with this online courses I am made to complete.
Three parts – pre-test, course, test. If I get a 100% on the pre-test, why do I need to do the course? I am just going to hit play and not pay attention. Even better is the questions on the real test are exactly the same as the pre-test, even in the same order.
Whoever created these was not serious about imparting knowledge through the course.
Fedgov must use the same training developers across all departments.
THEY JUST WON’T STOP!
Apparently Baldwin never studied his Chekov.
I need one that’s a video of the town hall with “Build Me Up Buttercup” as the music.
Whoa…….