Thursday Afternoon Links

by | Oct 28, 2021 | Daily Links | 261 comments

Music!

 

DELICIOUS, YUMMY TROLLING: Apparently, even food site Delish took the bait, and swallowed it, hook, line, and sinker. Everything below here is nut-punchy (or ovary-tappy). You have been warned.

 

 

FUCKING PIGS: US Marshal Service, apparently on wrong-address raid, point guns at mother, newborn. When asked if the U.S. Marshals plan to apologize to Kadalee, the spokesperson said they weren’t “certain” if there’d been an apology but that a senior inspector went back and explained to her how the mix-up happened. Well, that makes it totally okay.

 

 

SHIT YOU ALREADY KNOW: Jen Psaki hates you.

 

 

MORE EPIC TROLLING: Signs, apparently a false flag operation, appear in Dem strongholds in Northern Virginia (DC suburbs). The sign is a reference to this, but also relates to this, and this.

PANTS-SOILING HYSTERIA: Emails also show the Loudoun County Sheriff’s Office (LCSO) rejecting what it said were “extraordinary” security requests – including an explosive sweep and undercover presence – by the superintendent for future school board meetings.

IN RELATED NEWS: The Loudoun bathroom assailant has been convicted on all charges. A judge concluded that the evidence presented was enough to convict the accused but will wait on the sentencing until the student is tried for a separate alleged assault at a different high school earlier this month. There are just so many levels of wrong about this story, starting with the superintendent’s denial that the assault even occurred.

About The Author

Tonio

Tonio

Tonio is a Glibs shitposter, linkstar (Thursday PM, yo), author, and editor. He is also a GlibZoom personality and prankster. Tonio is a big fan of pic-a-nic baskets. His hobbies include salmon fishing, territorial displays, dumpster diving, and posing for wildlife photographers.

261 Comments

  1. Swiss Servator

    “There are just so many levels of wrong about this story, starting with the superintendent’s denial that the assault even occurred.”

    I guess tar and feathers are out of the question.

    • Translucent Chum

      How hot is the tar?

      • Nephilium

        Should be boiling, and the feathers lit on fire after being applied.

      • Translucent Chum

        Seems reasonable enough to me.

      • commodious spittoon

        It was pine tar, not asphalt, and it may have been heated up for application, but it wasn’t a blistering execution, it was humiliation.

      • Zwak, sensual panzer

        Eh, an English 4.

      • DEG

        Nicely done.

        /applauds

    • Ownbestenemy

      So my tinfoil hat time: The national school board association absolutely knew that this school board and school officials were lying from the get go and that is what prompted the ‘letter’. Knowing that parents might just very well show up with tar and feathers.

      • Tonio

        Of course they did. It’s their job. As a lobbying group they are unaccountable.

        You see lots of these professional lobbying/PR groups. Government pays the membership dues for these orgs, then the org turns around and lobbies the states and feds, which the school board members can’t do on their own. One of the many ways the deep state is embedded like ticks.

      • Tres Cool

        Fleas. Or lice.
        You can pull a swollen tick off.

        Hell, more like scabies or bedbugs.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Herpes.

        It’s forever.

      • Tres Cool

        Like luggage. -Eddie Murphy

        /why am I still awake

    • juris imprudent

      But not quartering by horse, right?

    • Tonio

      You’re going to cause the Loudoun County School Board to shit themselves again, and demand 24×7 protection from the Virginia State Police.

      • C. Anacreon

        What do you expect from a county named after Loudoun Wainwright III ?

      • Ownbestenemy

        A pithy song about how his ex stepped out on him

    • Sensei

      And of course nothing will happen and the school board will settle with no admission of wrongdoing.

      At this board meeting, the superintendent said that “the predator transgender student or person simply does not exist,” and, to his knowledge, “we don’t have any record of assaults occurring in our restrooms,” according to The Daily Wire, which first reported the assault.

      However, in an email dated May 28, the same day as the assault, the superintendent alerted school board members that an assault had been reported.

    • Ghostpatzer

      I would prefer stock/pillory, they allow for audience participation.

      • C. Anacreon

        “Pillory Hillary” also has a nice ring to it.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Nice, hadn’t considered that!

  2. EvilSheldon

    Good to know that the Marshals Service is providing employment for the recovering meth addicts and obese neckbeards of the nation.

    I’m liking my chances in the apocalypse better and better…

    • Drake

      Why was Santa Claus carrying a battering ram? No chimney?

    • SDF-7

      That’s Florida camouflage, isn’t it?

  3. Rebel Scum

    Now instead we have Jen Psaki, sneering avatar of an aristocracy that regards working Americans as less than dirt. People are straining to put food on the table and gas in their cars; they increasingly fail to see the point in going to work at all. Psaki’s response is that of the anointed class she represents: shut up and take it.

    Oh, Jen…

    • The Other Kevin

      I get at real “Who you gonna believe, me or your lyin’ eyes?” vibe from this whole administration.

    • Plisade

      “shut up and take it”

      Coming soon to a H&H episode!

    • SDF-7

      Nice to know AlexinCT has a side gig writing for americanmind.org…

      • Chafed

        Legit lol.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      She would have been the press secretary for Marie Antoinette. Oh the tragedy of insufficient bread.

  4. KSuellington

    Well it looks like the journolists have gotten the “lower your expectations” memo. I’ve seen at least three lefty pieces touting that sentiment in the past week. Quite a winning message there.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I also noticed that much of what was in the previous thread and what Krugman wrote is what the WH has said. Wonder which one is driving.

      • Drake

        Neither.

      • KSuellington

        That combined with “supply chains are having problems keeping up with the massive demand caused by people being so darn well off” has been the drumbeat message from the last couple weeks. I just heard almost the same coming out of NPR on a pass through the radio dial.

      • OneOut

        So we’ll off indeed that those we’ll off citizens emptied the shelves of all but the high end brands of tuna and sardines at a Wal Mart I was in a couple weeks ago.

        Those serfs are sure eating high on the hog.

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      Wonder if I could start using that at work:

      “You know the reason that you’re getting less work from me is because you’re demanding too much, right? Lower your expectations. “

      • ignoreLander

        Nobody NEEDS 8 different hours of labor a day.

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        I like to think of it as 1 hour of labor, 8 times.

    • SDF-7

      I’m sure it will go over as well as “Put on a sweater” and gas lines…

      • C. Anacreon

        Or “Whip Inflation Now”.

  5. Yusef drives a Kia

    Psaki CWAC!
    I would not, on a bet,

    • Ownbestenemy

      What about a dare?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        not even on a stair,

      • OneOut

        Would you?
        Could you?
        At a fair?

      • Ownbestenemy

        If the fair involved your avatar

      • R.J.

        Would you, could you
        In Batman’s lair?

      • commodious spittoon

        Would you, would you, could you possibly

        With all of Jennifer Aniston’s flair?

    • Tres Cool

      Shamefully, I prolly would.
      Pale, freckled, redheads used to be my jam.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I think she likes to peg more than anything.

      • Ghostpatzer

        My favorite foreign movie!

      • Chafed

        She is nowhere near your preferred weight class.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      I double dog dare you.

  6. Rebel Scum

    A possible fake campaign sign spotted in Herndon saying “Keep Parents Out Of Classrooms” and “Vote McAuliffe” was not sanctioned or distributed by Democratic gubernatorial candidate Terry McAuliffe’s campaign or the Democratic Party of Virginia.

    It might be fake as in not produced/placed by the campaign but it is accurate to the expressed sentiments of the candidate.

    • The Other Kevin

      You forget that this is a Democrat, and reporting what they actually said is considered slander.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I’m waiting for all the hyperventilating about how this campaign is beyond the pale.

      The anti-gun nuts who were astro-turfing gun owners in VA by saying that the NRA doesn’t endorse Youngkin will be completely memory holed.

      • C. Anacreon

        Or the assertion that “Youngkin” was an incest category on YouPorn.

  7. Shpip

    The Loudoun County student accused of sexually assaulting a ninth-grade girl in a bathroom on May 28 was found guilty on all charges Monday.

    “We don’t have time to be wasting on these phony trumped-up culture wars, this fake outrage that right-wing media peddles to juice their ratings.” — The Lightbringer, PBUH

    • rhywun

      That shameless asshole might want to consider shutting his pie-hole going forward, but of course he won’t. The circus will just pivot in a different direction and start another round.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      You don’t have to change more than half a word to make that apply to the Jon Gruden thing or any other woke “crisis”.

      We’ve become so numb to their hypocrisy that it doesn’t seem even notable anymore.

  8. Tres Cool

    “When asked if the U.S. Marshals plan to apologize to Kadalee, the spokesperson said they weren’t “certain” if there’d been an apology but that a senior inspector went back and explained to her how the mix-up happened.”

    It was a fluid, dynamic, kinetic, fugitive retrieval event. All officers went home safely that night.

  9. Rebel Scum

    Chapman wrote: “[Y]our request is extraordinary and would likely constitute LCSO’s commitment of a minimum of approximately 65 sworn deputies. Despite this, you fail to provide any justification for such a manpower intensive request.”

    But parents are being critical and trying to involve themselves in their children’s education! Literal domestic terrorism.

    • Sensei

      Perhaps Garland can get them protection at the Federal level instead.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Call in the National Guard!

    • EvilSheldon

      I’ll give the cops credit for telling these panicked suburban Karens to take it up the road.

    • Tonio

      And Superman now fights for “truth, justice, and a better world.”

      • Nephilium

        And he’s now a bisexual.

        Because once again, instead of creating a new character we’ll take someone who’s never been a legacy character, and pass a title, costume, and such on to someone new. We should probably change the Green Lantern oath too, it’s a bit too cut and dried:

        In brightest day, in blackest night,
        No evil shall escape my sight.
        Let those who worship evil’s might
        Beware my power–Green Lantern’s light!

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        ‘Gainst whitest day, the Blackest knight,
        Shall triumph o’er the Trumpist blight.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I really enjoy Chaucer

      • SDF-7

        That better world being Earth-1, Pre-Crisis. Before DC screwed their continuity repeatedly….

    • WTF

      That’s barely even satire.

    • whiz

      Those are gold.

    • The Other Kevin

      It’s a miracle how fast they whipped it through that container.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Hell Man you can do butter than that!

      • The Other Kevin

        You’re right. I can’t believe it’s not butter.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Don’t egg him on! We’ve whipped it enough.

      • Zwak, sensual panzer

        As per usual, Glibs are churning through the available puns.

      • Tonio

        Sir, I run a nice establishment here.

      • SDF-7

        I think they did that once in Holland… days ago.

    • db

      I love mayonnaise and I love high speed photography. Win!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Narrowed Gaze, We’re having fun here!

      • Jerms

        Hey DB. Just read your qustion about wood inserts in last thread and Im pretty sure you wouldnt have the same draft problem with an insert. Most times with old fireplaces you get some smoke blown back because the size of the fireplace and the width of ghe flu arent in the right proportion. With an insert you run a stainless steel sleeve down the chimney and attach it right to the stove. Shouldnt have any draft as long as its hooked up right.
        I have a Vermont castings and I dont recommend them. Ive had problems with the motor that started the year after I bought it.
        I actually wish I would have gotten a pellet stove that feeds itself so I could run it through the night.

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        wish I would have gotten a pellet stove

        I’d suggest that they are kind of the worst of all worlds:
        — Requires electricity to run (useless when the power goes out sans generator)
        — Have to manually load the fuel (unlike a propane/gas option)
        — Fuel is at the peak of the supply chain (unlike wood stove)

        I know that wood burning stoves aren’t the top-of-the-efficiency list, but for resilience/independence, I’d argue they’re the best option.

        YMMV, of course.

      • Fourscore

        I’m switching from wood to propane, I’ll have a “LOPI Patriot” available at a fair price, about December. Comes with a pick up load or two of split dry wood. I enjoy wood heat, even as wood is a little less clean than the alternatives. “LOPI” are similar to Vermont Castings, probably in the same price range. Very heavy. I’ve burned wood here in Northern MN for 30 years and would continue if I could carry the wood in.

        No motor to worry about. I’m still using it until the installer has time to change the chimney parts.

      • db

        I was looking at the Lopi web site earlier today and they look well built. Are you happy with it?

        We have one rather large fireplace, one large an one small. The biggest inserts I see will fit easily into the two bigger ones.

      • Jerms

        Yeah youre right, about the pellets and the supply chain, never really considered that. A wood stove needs electricity too though. Without the fan most of the heat goes right up the chimney.
        My biggest complaint about the stove is that even when I load up the box and put it on slow burn The fire only lasts about 4-5 hours which means having to light a new fire every morning. First world problems.

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        I hadn’t considered the supply chain thing until recently (read those points I mentioned in some book on homesteading or something like that), and it kinda resonated with me a bit.

        Any agreed on the (much) lower efficiency of the wood stove when the power’s out. But, it still works!

        Anyway, non-grid heat sources are a good thing all around. Even if you have to run a small generator, still can keep warm-ish.

      • Zwak, sensual panzer

        Mmm… I don’t think that is a first-world problem, seems more common in the third world.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        What do you think I said, he needs a liner no matter what,
        physics my Boy!

  10. waffles

    That’s actually brilliant. Making fake ads for the opponent is a good idea.

    • Drake

      When I see attack ads on NY stations, I usually want to vote for the guy being attacked.
      “He wants to cut spending of welfare, let people buy assault weapons, and end a woman’s right to choose…”
      Sounds good to me.

      • rhywun

        I saw one for NJ the other day that said something like “He wants people to make their own health decisions!!”

      • Drake

        What a monster!

      • robc

        Every Clinton ad in 2016 made me want to vote for Trump. But I knew she was lying, he wasn’t that good.

  11. Rebel Scum

    Life of Julia Linda.

    The White House released a new series of images to promote the “life of Linda” under President Joe Biden’s proposed Build Back Better agenda, promoting the idea of a government role from the cradle to the grave.

    The slides tell the story of “Linda,” a pregnant working mother who receives a monthly check from the government to help her provide for her son after he is born and also gets money to help her pay for daycare.

    “Linda” sends her son “Leo” to government schools at the age of three and gets government help to pay for community college when he leaves high school.

    “Leo” gets a job as a windmill technician after college and gets government funding to help care for his mother, who also gets her hearing paid for by the government as she grows old.

    I guess government is daddy.

    • WTF

      So, on the dole living at the expense of others from cradle to grave. I guess it’s a winning message to those who vote for a living.

    • Drake

      You expect Linda to keep track of her sexual partners? Pig.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Let me tell you it is ultra-hard to get child support now because the person with testes who knocked you up is probably identifying as a woman now. And we all know how easy family courts go on women.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        Someone should try that.

    • Tres Cool

      They’re really going full Mao with this.
      Or is it Stalin ?

      • Bobarian LMD

        A regular old five year plan is not fast enough, so I think we’re going for a great leap forward.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Stalin. Destroy the family unit.

        The CCCP famously instituted common kitchens in their housing projects so as to discourage the mealtime family tradition and the development of the family unit.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      At least Linda has a face. In most of these cartoons the characters are faceless.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      The slides tell the story of “Linda,” a pregnant working mother who receives a monthly check from the government to help her provide for her son after he is born and also gets money to help her pay for daycare.

      Wait, did the kid pick their gender in utero?

    • juris imprudent

      I guess government is daddy.

      Isn’t that… patriarchal?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yikes!

  12. Drake

    Here’s the critical emergency situation we are addressing with kiddie vaccines. A few months old.
    https://www.bbc.com/news/health-57766717

    25 kids in England have died of covid – more than half already had serious health conditions. Overall risk of a kid dying of covid (including the sick ones) 2 in a million.

    This why we need to jab them all with experimental drugs.

    • Sean

      And booster shots…don’t forget the inevitable booster shots (for the variants).

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        You wouldn’t run an engine for long without an oil change, right?

        So why would you want to run your immune system without regular maintenance?!

        Sheesh, it’s like you don’t even Science.

      • EvilSheldon

        “So why would you want to run your immune system without regular maintenance?!”

        You mean a healthy diet, regular exercise, and adequate sleep?

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        Look at the domestic health-terrorist over here, with extremist speech and everything.

  13. Sensei

    Where’s the Duke of Wellington when you need him?

    France seizes British fishing boat, escalating dispute with London

    France’s minister of the sea, Annick Girardin, announced the seizure one day after the French government threatened sanctions against Britain in the lingering dispute that has stirred emotions on both sides of the English Channel for months.

    “Now we must speak the language of force because I fear that unfortunately this British government understands only that,” Clément Beaune, France’s junior minister responsible for European affairs, told right-wing news channel CNews.

    In a response Thursday evening, the British government announced the summoning of the French ambassador. “We regret the confrontational language that has been consistently used by the French government on this issue,” the British statement read.

    • WTF

      Cool, there hasn’t been a good war between France and Britain in over a century.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Vichy Doesn’t count? or are the frogs still pissed off for the Brits blowing up their Fleet?
        /WW2

    • Rebel Scum

      In a response Thursday evening, the British government announced the summoning of the French ambassador.

      There was a time when they would summon a flotilla.

  14. DEG

    “I’m no cop but I feel like the first thing I would’ve done is checked the apartment number,” she added.

    Were they trained to check the apartment number? If they weren’t, how would they know that they had to that?

    Remember that in 2022 and 2024 when they call you a fascist or a bigot or a domestic terrorist or whatever: these are people who think Jen Psaki is a good person. Their opinion about your morals literally doesn’t matter at all.

    That’s good advice for all time, not just in 2022 and 2024.

    You know, back when I was poking around tinder, I saw much worse than Jen Psaki on it.

    “The next thing I know … the police are grabbing me and I’m tackled to the ground,” he said of the now-viral video of his arrest.

    “I was just shocked and horrified,” he said of his arrest. “This could have been handled a lot differently.”

    Peasants need to know their place.

    The list of notes also included the following bullet points: “The plan for Aug 10/11 puts LCSO in same position and I won’t be put in that position again.” Chapman purportedly added that he believed people should “have been allowed to speak (reference to the June 22, 2021 School Board meeting).”

    Wait a minute.

    /double checks story about arrest.

    Oh. It was your deputies that arrested that man. You won’t be put in that position again? Huh. Prediction: “We’ll show the peasants their proper place.”

    The Loudoun County student accused of sexually assaulting a ninth-grade girl in a bathroom on May 28 was found guilty on all charges Monday.

    Good.

    I like the “Let’s Go Brandon!” song.

    • Sean

      when I was poking around tinder

      Phrasing?

      • DEG

        😉

        I got no dates through tinder. OKCupid on the other hand was a better place.

      • Tres Cool

        Craigslist got me laid a LOT.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Surprised you never ran into Tonio *ducks*

      • SDF-7

        He was too busy “running into” Craig, apparently.

      • Plisade

        Craig’s lisp?

    • The Other Kevin

      “Recently used by Hollywood celebrity in upcoming movie. Priced to move quickly.”

      Too soon?

      • WTF

        Made me snicker.

      • DEG

        #metoo

  15. Sensei

    Here is the latest contents of DCs sausage, before Brandon has to have “something” ahead of his climate conference with the cool kids.

    Biden Turns to Taxes on Corporations, Millionaires to Pay for Agenda

    Instead, Democrats are leaning on more IRS staffing, the corporate minimum tax, a new 1% tax on stock buybacks and surtaxes on people making more than $10 million and $25 million a year—the top 0.02% of earners, according to the administration. They say that should generate enough money to pay for their pared-back agenda, which includes climate-change initiatives and prekindergarten programs.

    • Tonio

      First it was “trillionaires,” then billionaires, now millionaires. Don’t worry, soon they’ll work their way down to the rest of us.

      • Bobarian LMD

        The way inflation is going, we may catch up to the millionaires before they can work their way down to the rest of us.

  16. Ed Wuncler

    “We are ruled over by a cabal of solipsists who feel outraged that the regressive pigs in flyover country express any opinions at all—about the fruits of their labor, about the security of their nation, about the health of their bodies. Their response is that we should “lower expectations” for affordable food, “welcome competition” from a rapidly arming China, and “follow the advice of health experts” on pain of unemployment. ”

    Could not have said it better myself.

    • Drake

      I really like the PX-4, but no.

    • EvilSheldon

      I just sent this link to Ernest Langdon, with a ‘Dude, WTF?’ tag.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s hilarious. I kind of wish mine had the cartel treatment now.

        For that extra bling at the range.

  17. Rebel Scum

    And that’s a fact, Jack.

    “In addition, the framework will help rural communities tap into the clean energy opportunity through targeted grants and loans through the Department of Agriculture,” the White House added.

    “We’ll build out the first-ever national network of 500,000 electric vehicle charging stations, all across the country,” announced President Biden on Thursday. “So when you buy an electric vehicle — and you get credit for buying it —when you buy an electric vehicle, you can go all the way across America on a single tank of gas, figuratively speaking.”

    “It’s not gas, you plug it in,” he added. “500,000 of them, these stations along the way.”

    Thanks for the clarification.

    • WTF

      What about the extra power generation needed to power it all?

      • SDF-7

        They’re all prepped to use Jefferson as a generator core — he’s spinning more than enough.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Didn’t Tesla (and other companies) already build the first-ever national network of charging stations?

      • hayeksplosives

        Yes, but without the beneficent hand of government guiding it and taking credit for it, it just doesn’t count.

        Besides, you have to pay for charging at most Tesla supercharger stations, whereas the government ones will be FREEEEE!!! Meaning the taxpayers will be picking up the tab, no matter what they drive.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Every new gas station we have popping up has charging stations also. Lol who the fuck briefed him.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        The supercharger ones are 480 volts, right?

        My plug in hybrid only does level 1 (120v) and level 2 (240v), and it takes hours either way.

        How fast are you to full charge with supercharger?

      • Sensei

        Model 3 is 400v. From 20% to 80% is around 25 minutes.

        Above 80% curve drops. Nice thing is the car will optimize for you telling you how many stops and how long to charge.

      • hayeksplosives

        During Escape from California, we drove the model 3 down to about 40 miles. Pulled into a supercharger at Barstow and walked over to the chili’s for lunch and a beverage while we waited. I guess it was 40 minutes or so. I had the AC on since the cat was in the car.

    • The Other Kevin

      In keeping with the theme of lowered expectations, it only takes a few hours until you’re back on the road.

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      you can go all the way across America

      …and it will only take you 17 days!

      • Ownbestenemy

        It will make train travel seem like warp speed. *rubs chin* I think I see their plan.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      So when you buy an electric vehicle — and you get credit for buying it

      There’s a nice little racket in that area. People flip the cars for the tax credit. The used market is fucked up enough that the car doesn’t depreciate much, so they get to pocket up to $7500, and the market supports these overpriced used cars because people don’t read the fine print that the credits don’t apply to used cars.

    • R.J.

      “..And that’s how those yellowing plastic eyesores ended up everywhere, Billy!” Said dad, one hand on Billy’s shoulder, the other holding his trusty crowbar.
      “Gosh dad! Now we get paid to take them away?”
      “$1,000 per charger son. Enough to buy a week’s groceries.”

  18. Rebel Scum

    The unscientific American.

    Five of the nation’s top ice scientists found themselves in a conundrum.

    They’d been tasked with a formidable job: reviewing candidates for the American Geophysical Union’s fellows program, the most prestigious award given by the world’s largest earth and space science society. But when the group looked at its list of candidates, all nominated by peers, it spotted a problem.

    Every nominee on the list was a white man.

    “That was kind of a bit of a showstopper for me,” said Helen Fricker, a glaciologist at Scripps Institution of Oceanography and one of the five committee members.

    Merit is muh-racisms.

    • Rat on a train

      So no award this year?

    • rhywun

      LOL I knew where that was going from the first sentence.

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      glaciologist at Scripps Institution of Oceanography

      Seems a bit contradictory, no?

    • Bobarian LMD

      top.

      ice.

      scientists.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Ha!

      I almost went to Scripps for a PhD. I’d be totally tied up in that crap now.

  19. Rat on a train

    So Facebook is hiding behind a new name. Meta is your friend.

  20. Tundra

    Thanks for the well-formatted lynx, Tonio!

    It makes me laugh that like 5 of the top ten most downloaded rap songs right now are “Let’s Go Brandon”. That’s just wonderful.

    Jen Psaki hates you.

    No worries. She’s a repellent bitch who truly sucks at her job. I miss Trump’s blonde.

    I’m glad that the rapist was convicted, but that superintendent needs to face the music, too. I hope the family sues and sues and sues again.

    • rhywun

      No, the point is that she doesn’t suck at her job. She’s doing exactly what she’s paid to do, and you don’t see her going anywhere, do you?

      • Tundra

        Biden’s numbers are cratering. His mouthpiece is an offensive, arrogant twat who can’t sell shit.

      • Ed Wuncler

        Press Secretary’s jobs are basically to lie and spin things in a positive manner. Psaki doesn’t do that. She’ll lie if need be but overall her schtick is telling the American people to go fuck themselves and take it good and hard.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ?

      • rhywun

        Oh now we’re going by numbers lol

      • Fourscore

        And she’s good at it. She was a little shaky at first but she quickly got things under control. Seems like none of the journalists believe her but she doesn’t care and moves on to the next question.

      • Ownbestenemy

        She was rumored to leave this year but I think she stands at the podium and gets off on it and won’t leave. She knows she has only one controlled oppo-jounalist and other than that it’s a cake walk.

    • Ed Wuncler

      I’m not the biggest MAGA fan but fuck do I miss Kayleigh just laying into the reporters. I would take the chaos of the Trump Presidency over this bullshit we have now because while Trump wasn’t a libertarian he also actively trying to sabotage the way most Americans live and consume.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Does she suck at her job though? She has most of the press eating out of her hand and cheering her on. Granted, they want to do that for any Dem, but she hasn’t screwed that up.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Granted, they want to do that for any Dem, but she hasn’t screwed that up.

        Is that possible? Psaki could shit in her hand, fling it at the press like a raving howler monkey, and they would still cheer her on.

        The MSM is not independent and might as well be a government-run propaganda source at this point. Psaki’s job is to lie to the American people while the adoring press provides authenticity and cover for their lies. Two arms of the same body.

        I’d say she’s failing in that regard since she’s telling the truth instead of lying (as Ed points out above). That they don’t even feel the need to lie any longer is one of the reasons I disagree with those who think the Democrats are weak and desperate.

      • EvilSheldon

        The Press Secretary’s audience isn’t really the press. The press would eat out of the ass of a homeless junkie with Fournier’s Gangrene, just as long as he’s a good loyal Democrat…

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        Thank you for that image.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Can you imagine the flood of immigrants that will create?

    • Ghostpatzer

      Where can I get a fake Mexican ID?

    • Drake

      Drain the Treasury and replace Whitey in one cool move. And do it without any legislative action.

    • rhywun

      Good grief.

    • Fourscore

      I told Mrs F at lunch time we can expect gazillions of immigrants, boatloads from every where. I’m talking like the Cuban boat people and VN refugees were a drop in the bucket. If a particular country has a problem with crime, unemployment and poverty load ’em up. Easily can see hordes coming.

      “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Just the rumor of it is enough to set off a migration wave that will dwarf all others before it.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      My mother always said if you can’t say anything that won’t put you in legal jeopardy then don’t say anything at all.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Which polling numbers had this as a popular idea?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’s neither popular nor sane so they’ll definitely give it a shot.

    • Gadfly

      So is every parent who has ever been arrested now entitled to $450K? Because last I checked, that separates parents from their kids as well.

    • Ownbestenemy

      What is even better is illegal aliens will get reparations before black people. It’s fucking gold

  21. Kwihn T. Senshel

    Almost certainly fake.

    I can’t imagine them getting less than $500k each…

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      (to Tundra @ #26)

      • rhywun

        lol, sigh

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        Ha, likely much closer to correct.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      $500K probably requires some additional approvals and paperwork, which is why they chose $450K.

  22. Tulip

    I had groceries delivered today. I ordered a cabbage. Now, I always buy a small one and forgot to specify that.I am now the proud owner of a cabbage the size of a soccer ball.

    • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

      Shred thin, stir-fry with glass noodles and no-salt chicken stock, plus mebbe a splash of sesame oil. Serve with soy sauce.

      Yum.

      • Tulip

        That sounds good

      • EvilSheldon

        That does sound good. I would have to sleep in the hammock on the patio for the next three days though…

      • R.J.

        I was going to suggest cabbage soccer, but eating it is probably less wasteful.

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        Very meta.

      • Tulip

        Oh, I’m going to make sauerkraut. I will also be having cabbage everyday for a week and making soup to freeze. Look, i love cabbage. It’s just….a lot of cabbage.

      • Tulip

        Maybe I’ll get an article out of it.

      • Tundra

        Good. I was poking through your articles looking for that one. You’ve done some really fun ones!

      • Nephilium

        Cabbage Rolls?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Looks at cabbage in fridge….hmm I should make something with you tonight

    • SDF-7

      Fried cabbage, onions and kielbasa… mmmmm…..

    • l0b0t

      Cabbage steaks – skice thick rounds, about 1 1/2 inches. Brush with olive oil, sprinkle with salt & pepper, roast until crispy on the edges.

      • Ownbestenemy

        That sounds like it needs to be paired with a grilled eggplant

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Does the dog die?

    • Ownbestenemy

      I actually would.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      I see Bolton’s mustache got a dye job and changed hosts.

  23. Count Potato

    “The smartest lie conservatives ever told was that the media was liberal. It did two things it made the media more conservative as a way of compensating and it made the reading public more skeptical of the media.”

    https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/1453704281111007237

    I hope she’s on drugs.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Nope

      And reading through the replies, I can see why there will be no reconciliation. This country is toast.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Nah, sober and stupid and/or mendacious.

    • EvilSheldon

      She needs to be.

    • one true athena

      Oh god, that chick is the poster child for unearned privilege who thinks she’s hot shit and So Smart because she went to Yale or whatever, even though she’s actually dumb as a box of bricks and certainly knows nothing lower class than, maybe Midtown Manhattan.

    • LJW

      How do they prove it happened?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Prove? No there is no prove other than simply asking “is this person useful anymore?”

      • Sean

        Dunno.

        The process is the punishment applies here though.

    • Sensei

      And on Pearl Harbor Day no less.

      • Ownbestenemy

        He was looking to give her a necklace to commemorate the day

    • EvilSheldon

      Interesting. The Firearms Policy Coalition is a group that formed in response, at least partly, to the accusation that the NRA was too tied to the Republican party and too concerned with non-RKBA culture war issues.

      Even if the FPC’s objection to the Texas abortion law structure is completely honest (and I believe that it is), if they didn’t realize that the left would use this as a screeching point, then they’re not mature enough to be making moves in the political sphere…

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The Texas law is pretty suspect. While it’s an interesting approach to the abortion issue, I’m not a fan.

      • EvilSheldon

        The FPC could have, and should have, discretely done the legwork for this objection for another organization under another name. I worry that they’re trying to curry favor with the pro-gun left – an attempt that is doomed to failure, as the last two years have conclusively proven. Sorry guys, it makes me sad too, but Edward Abbey is dead thirty years now.

    • mock-star

      Arent they already doing this though? Isnt there currently a civil suit against Bushmaster/Remington?

  24. Tundra

    Just had a shocking experience. We went to the DMV on Monday to register the cars here. Got the plates and tabs on the spot. Went to the mailbox a few minutes ago and I already got the titles!

    CO has fucked up emissions and other bullshit, but damn that’s fast turnaround!

    • Ownbestenemy

      I have to go to the dreaded social security office to try and order a replacement SS card for the 16 year old. Why I can’t do it online with ID.me or some shit like that is beyond me.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Not a bad piece. Just doesn’t matter. Won’t change minds, the needle remains and I am beginning to see some Time Machine parallels out in the real world.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        At least we aren’t too alone,

    • Tundra

      I love her. I actually sat through Rogan because of her.

      Walk-Ins Welcome is a good podcast, too.

      • Count Potato

        I miss Joe Rogan. He used to be on YouTube, and I don’t want to sign up for Spotify.

      • Tundra

        I have Spotify but rarely listen to Rogan. Only when people I really dig are on. 3 hours is a long fucking time.

      • Count Potato

        True, it depends on the guest. The ones with Alex Jones are great.

      • Ed Wuncler

        I like Rogan because you can tell that he has his own opinions about certain things but he’s also interested in what his guests have to say and as far as I know, doesn’t have an agenda.

        It’s also fascinating to see how much the corporate media and their supporters hate this dude with a passion. CNN was was caught in lie about him and what he took when he got COVID and instead of them trying to gain whatever back whatever integrity they had and apologized, they still went all in with their lies.

      • EvilSheldon

        Joe is not really all that smart (the reef ain’t helping either) but he is genuinely intellectually curious. That’s a much better combination than being brilliant and dispirited.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        WTF is Reef? some old Fucking Hippy slang?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Millennials like to shorten their words cause it’s too hard to spell or speak them fully.

      • EvilSheldon

        Okay GenXer…

        Reef is Reefers. Boat. Kind Bud. The Chronic. Fucking Sublime coined the term in like 1995, how the fuck am I having to explain this?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Cause that response was worth it!

  25. Tulip

    Thanks to KK for pointing me to Husbento on YouTube. I have a question for anyone who knows: do they eat the bento box cold? Or do they heat it at work? It seems like some of them need reheating, but it’s mixed with things I wouldn’t heat (like hard boiled eggs.

  26. Ownbestenemy

    I love this time of year because I can buy bulk shelled nuts. It was always a family traditional to have them out, with the nut cracker and that little picking device to graze on while sitting by a fire.

    • hayeksplosives

      That was a tradition in my house growing up too. Pecans mostly. Dad had a nutcracker similar to this one.

      I’ve noticed that Pahrump Nevada is big on growing pistachios, so I might have to investigate that too.

  27. ignoreLander

    Welp, just got an Outlook invite for a “company-wide” meeting coming up on the 1st. They never do these; it’s under the guise of “First Monday!” but the fact is these have only ever been held by individual offices, not company wide.

    I’m pretty sure Monday afternoon I’ll be joining the rest of you who have been reporting bad news in the past few weeks.

    • ignoreLander

      Oh, forgot to mention why it’s ominous — it’s a date, a time, and that’s it, no attachments, no explanatory text. Management has never sent out a company-wide or office-wide meeting without some sort of agenda at the very least.

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        WOO-HOO!

        Time to go POSTAL!!!

      • UnCivilServant

        As it is the first and only it is ominous.

        We have a biweekly all hands meeting that never has an agenda. From time to time it degenerates into one particular senior manager ranting at the employees for not being mindless drones and having the gall to question ‘policy’.

        I hope he gets promoted (into the revolving door top spot that changes at least once a year.)

  28. commodious spittoon

    Survivor, but a faux reality show set in the Lost universe