Evening Poll Question – Bad Movies

by | Dec 8, 2021 | Film | 309 comments

What is your favorite bad movie? (You know by most measures it’s not a very good movie, but you love it anyway…)

I entertain a number of contenders, but this is probably my #1:

The One (2001)

And my favorite part (aside from the thrillingly bombastic ending) is where the timestream cops flip through all the alternate universe versions of the main character and it is just Jet Li in a succession of terrible wigs. Genius. (Partly in the trailer in the beginning.)

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

309 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    Burn Hollywood Burn?

  2. rhywun

    Doom Generation.

    • Count Potato

      I love that movie! I also love Kaboom and Nowhere. Smiley Face was just stupid, but Araki didn’t write it.

      • rhywun

        I love it too but I have to roll my eyes at it every so often.

  3. Ozymandias

    Funny, but this one would have made my list, too.
    I enjoy it, in all of its campy shittiness. Jet Li seems like a guy who absolutely could have been a great action star in some better vehicles to showcase his talent, but this… whew. Man.
    And yet I’ll watch it if it’s on.

    • Ozymandias

      Also – it has one of my all time Hollywood crushes: Carla Gugino. Merrrrrrowwww.
      (She sits tied for first with Jennifer Connelly and Rachel Weisz… and whaddya mean I have a type??)

      • slumbrew

        Gugino is ???

    • juris imprudent

      I haven’t see The One, which sounds like a futuristic Highlander rip-off, but isn’t Unleashed as bad?

  4. Sensei

    Rocky Horror Picture Show.

    There is a reason it bombed when it was released as regular film.

    • Sensei

      I’ll add an OT. I’m watching a current anime Heike Monogatari. It’s a period historical drama about a warring period. Any Japanese person would know the history.

      One of the main character’s mother is a “shirabyoushi”. They let you know this because in the subtitles they italicize it and repeat it over and over. They never define it. In this period it means prostitute. God forbid they use that word. Also any Japanese person would know this too.

      Meanwhile the story has affairs, concubines and features the deaths of 100,000s of soldiers. But we wouldn’t want to label somebody a hooker.

      • Ted S.

        Relevant (sorry this is the only copy I can find on Youtube)

    • MikeS

      I haven’t “seen you” around since I belatedly read part 2 of your 3D series…Thanks! I’m really enjoying it.

      • Sensei

        Hopefully I can finish part 3 before end of year.

        Thanks!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Tim Curry was pure genius in that film.

      • MikeS

        For sure. It would have been a very different film without him.

      • Spudalicious

        My ex saw it live in London with Tim Curry playing the lead.

  5. Tundra

    Above The Law

    Awful. But I’d probably watch if it was on.

    • l0b0t

      Under Siege. I will watch that doughy ham cook/SEAL his way into Miss July’s pants at the drop of a hat.

    • EvilSheldon

      I’d include any of the Seagal flicks from On Deadly Ground back, but Above The Law is probably the best.

    • Chafed

      Not awful! I love that movie.

  6. straffinrun

    I bet that soundtrack is what Trump puts on while making out with Melania.

    • MikeS

      You are one sick puppy

  7. kinnath

    Howard the Duck

    • Sensei

      No that’s just bad. The exteriors of the lab in the film were shot in Marin County at what was at the time Fireman’s Fund Insurance Company’s home office.

      • Tundra

        Ahem.

        What is your favorite bad movie?

        Besides, young Lea Thompson – yes, please!

      • Sensei

        OT Warner Japan just dumped a bunch more stuff.

        Finally decided to make some money and released the original of “Plastic Love”.

        Cracks me up how that became a huge hit now instead of when it released.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yeah, that’s kind of the entire city pop genre.

        I’m sure WBJ thinks it’s all just a flash in the pan freak rather than there actually might be a market for Japanese media in the short intestine world.

      • R C Dean

        I was flying this week. One flight, the passenger next to me was a black guy, kinda togged out in a fashionable urban vibe. Nice guy.

        Anyhoo, they have this gizmo on the seat backs that holds your screen for optimal movie watching. I fire up Wonder Woman on my tablet, and he gets some anime going on his. Gore, animal headed people, misc. monsters, the whole thing.

        Yeah, there’s a market.

    • Spudalicious

      An ex was the on scene nurse for Howard the Duck. It paid for a new backyard.

  8. straffinrun

    I’d watch an 80’s after school special if it was on.

    • Sensei

      You that desperate for English content?

      • straffinrun

        For years the only American show they had on TV was Full House.

      • Sensei

        My friend there seems to watch lots of American law related dramas that were popular here decades ago.

      • Count Potato

        There is a Japanese version of Columbo.

      • Ted S.

        あともう一つだけ…

      • rhywun

        Niiiiice.

      • straffinrun

        They don’t show nearly as many American shows on basic tv like they used to. Can’t blame them. Although their domestic dramas are awful in their own way.

      • Sensei

        I love the low budget almost Spanish soap opera appeal of Japanese drama TV series.

        That is probably because I’m interested in the language, however. I’d be hard pressed to recommend too many of them.

      • rhywun

        Can’t blame them.

        FWIW network TV is complete shit now. I assume that’s what we export more of, rather than pay stuff like HBO or Showtime?

        I landed on one of the many, many new “police procedurals” a few weeks ago and watched for a few minutes. Holy crap it was awful. It was like a bad soap opera.

  9. Ted S.

    One of my fellow movie bloggers has an annual blogathon called “Against the Grain” in which fellow bloggers pick two movies: one that has a really high score on Rotten Tomatoes but that you hate, and another that has a low score on Rotten Tomatoes that you like. To be honest, my choices for the latter have been mostly enjoying them because of how badly wrong they go, but the choices over the years have been:

    Untamed Youth (Mamie Van Doren movie that has her winding up as prison slave labor and all the prison labor doing a musical number in a cotton field),
    Night of the Lepus
    Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
    The Concorde: Airport ’79
    Tentacles (Jaws clone with, among others, Shelley Winters)
    Endless Love (1981) — boy does this one go spectacularly off the rails.

    • Tundra

      Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

      Oooh. Good one.

      Aerosmith in all their drug-fueled glory.

  10. DrOtto

    Bad Lieutenant, the original, not the Nicholas Cage, Bad Lieutenant Port of Call New Orleans.

    • juris imprudent

      What, that’s not even Ferrara’s most guilty pleasure/sinful indulgence?

  11. commodious spittoon

    I really like Bourne Legacy. It’s objectively not as good as the original trilogy, it’s actually a much lesser knockoff, and pretty scattered as its own film, but I enjoy the premise, the hero, and the supporting actress.

    • straffinrun

      Watching a Mini Cooper chase scene is like watching midget fighting.

      • Ted S.

        That’s the original The Italian Job (which, other than the scene of Noël Coward celebrating in the climax is a great movie).

      • DrOtto

        I loved Benny Hill in that.

  12. commodious spittoon

    Wait, Men In Tights. I think I got in ahead of the hate Brooks gets for his later films, plus I was a child (and am), but I still love this movie. Spaceballs rings hollow for me, but Men in Tights is a comedy masterpiece.

    I will take these cotton balls, and put them in my pocket.

    • Sensei

      I don’t mind Men in Tights, but compared to other films of his it is weak.

    • Grummun

      Spaceballs rings hollow for me, but Men in Tights is a comedy masterpiece.

      I’m the opposite. Spaceballs is genius from the opening credits, Men In Tights seems forced.

      For favorite bad movie: Buckaroo Banzai.

      • Sensei

        No Matter Where You Go, There You Are

      • Grummun

        “Big Boo-tay! Tay! TAY!”

        The high point of Lithgow’s career.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Another fan of Waxworks II?

      • dontreadonme

        “History is a-made at night. Character is a-what you are in the dark.”

      • dontreadonme

        “What’s that watermelon doing there?”

      • dontreadonme

        “Sealed with a curse as sharp as a knife. Doomed is your soul and damned is your life.”

      • dontreadonme

        “Laugha while you can, monkey boy.”

  13. juris imprudent

    No one dare risk the wrath of ZARDOZ?

    • R.J.

      I own a copy of Zardoz. From before I came to this site.

      • hayeksplosives

        Outlander was bad. And not even “good” bad. Sean Connery’s agent sucked in his early career.

      • juris imprudent

        You mean Outland? That wasn’t worse for Connery than The Rock.

      • MikeS

        Hmmm…OK, I guess The Rock is one of my picks for this topic then, too. Hearing Connery say “The Rock” makes it all worth it.*

        *half joking

      • hayeksplosives

        Yes, I meant Outland.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        Outland is the awesome. I love that movie.

      • Spudalicious

        Ditto. That was a great flick.

      • limey

        Agreed.

      • The Hyperbole

        Limey is right about Spud being right about Zwak being right.

      • hayeksplosives

        Well shit.

        I guess I have to watch it again, because my memory is that I thought it sucked.

        Hmmm…

      • Rat on a train

        The movie that pretends to be a sequel of Highlander is worse than The Rock.

      • rhywun

        I had seen it elsewhere earlier too. I used to live with a film nerd and the TV was mostly under his control while I taught myself my career.

  14. commodious spittoon

    Die Hard 2 and 3 are terrific. I kinda actually like 3 more than 1, because Zeus is a great foil.

    • EvilSheldon

      Agreed.

  15. commodious spittoon

    Is Fifth Element a bad movie?

    • kinnath

      The Fifth Element is a brilliant movie that the public doesn’t get.

      • Sensei

        It had me onboard with “multipass”.

        It did break up Besson’s marriage, however….

      • commodious spittoon

        Oh, Clerks 2. Clerks 2 delivers pretty much what a schlub like me would want. It’s a jerkoff fantasy for the undeserving, underwhelming white guy who thought Clerks was pretentious, and fantasized about Rosario Dawson.

      • commodious spittoon

        Wrong answer

    • Trigger Hippie

      No. No it isn’t.

    • l0b0t

      It’s a film that deserves multiple rewatches because the art and prop departments did such brilliant work that you’ll notice new things every time.

    • DrOtto

      Yes

    • rhywun

      I’m… not sure.

      I adore it, though.

      I am similarly not sure about Starship Troopers. It seems like it has to be awful, but I will always watch it when it’s on.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        I want to know more.

    • Not Adahn

      In the same way that Starship Troopers is a bad movie.

  16. R.J.

    So much came to mind immediately:
    Little Nicky: i just like it. I have no explanation for this.
    Ice Pirates: Space herpes
    Big Man Japan: the ending was balls but I enjoyed the movie up until the end.
    Other than that just about anything I have reviewed on the site up to this point. I can’t really pick a favorite easily!

    • juris imprudent

      You just brought to mind, Big Trouble in Little China. Bad but good.

      • pistoffnick

        Forget it, juris, it’s China GlibTown.

      • juris imprudent

        Still better than Barter Town.

      • MikeS

        I’m a reasonable guy. But, I’ve just experienced some very unreasonable things.

      • Mojeaux

        Bad but good.

        YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!

      • MikeS

        Yah. Honestly, I was too shocked by that bit of crazy to do anything other than lay down a great Jack line.

    • R.J.

      And Phantom of Paradise.

  17. Trigger Hippie

    Ravenous: Staring Robert Carlyle, Guy Pierce, David Arquette, That redheaded chubby dude from Faris Bueller and Beetlejuice that ended up being a ChoMo, and the really pale cat from Band of Brothers.

    Name me a better movie you’ve seen about cannibalism set on an isolated Army camp in the Sierra Nevada Mountains roughly twenty years before the Civil War…

  18. pistoffnick

    Escanaba in da Moonlight

  19. hayeksplosives

    Planet of Dinosaurs, 1977.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planet_of_Dinosaurs

    Stop motion critters, hilariously awful script, bad acting, sexist dialog. It’s like a slasher movie in the one-by-one picking off of the characters. I haven’t watched it in a while, but if memory serves, the space crew wears 70s track suits.

    • juris imprudent

      Is that what Will Ferrell was riffing on in Land of the Lost?

      • hayeksplosives

        I honestly don’t know… will have to look that up.

    • Tulip

      Well, track suits seem appropriate wear for a space ship to me.

  20. Shpip

    Sequels are almost universally bad, but I still enjoy some of them. Porky’s II: The Next Day is one of those for me.

    And in the “so bad it’s good” category, I’ll watch the nature documentary Jaws 3 whenever it comes on. Coked-up Dennis Quaid, the lovely Lea Thompson, and just-off-his-Oscar Louis Gossett Jr. combine for lots of unintentional hilarity.

    Fun fact about that film: the female dolphin Sandy in the movie is actually a male named Capricorn. He still lives at Sea World Orlando (where J3 was shot), he’s fifty-five, and exceptionally talented fisherman can catch him with their bare hands.

    • rhywun

      ? I had no idea dolphins can live that long.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s all the raping.

    • l0b0t

      “So sayeth the Shepard! So sayeth the flock!”

  21. Scruffy Nerfherder

    The all time best of all “bad” movies is indubitably Flash Gordon.

    FLASH AAH AAAAAH

    • MikeS
      • Chipping Pioneer

        Freddie Mercury is the greatest entertainer in the history of mankind.

        Fite me!

      • kinnath

        I don’t know.

        I mean, I saw a couple of shows in Amsterdam that were pretty entertaining.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        *chortle*

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I occasionally yell “STOP ALL ENGINES, REPEL BOARDERS” when I have to carpool the kids.

      • hayeksplosives

        Note that they had to leave all the rousing speeches to Blessed and Dalton, because Sam Jones was…well, he never did Shakespeare; I’ll leave it at that.

    • hayeksplosives

      Key dialog: “Flash, I LOVE you! But we only have 14 hours to save the earth!”

      Also, young Timothy Dalton in tights. Rawr.

      Also also, the actor who played Flash, Sam Jones, moved into my Cali neighborhood this year. By all accounts he is a nice guy. I never met him.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ornella Muti gave Young Scruffy funny feelings.

    • Sensei

      Would have to agree.

    • PudPaisley

      It was the first movie that popped into my head.

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      Fuck, I saw that in the theater. And CONAN Der BARBAR!!!

      • rhywun

        Conan is so great it’s not bad.

  22. hayeksplosives

    Congo was just awful but it did have some unintended funny moments. Starting with Bruce Campbell’s death scene in the beginning of the movie; I thought, “Oh, so it’s a comedy.”

    Nope. The heroine, Laura Linney was her usual lovely self, but the filmmakers decided to make the heroine the “tough guy” and made her romantic interest a complete pansy. Like pajama boi pansy. It did not work.

    However, there was some serious chemistry between Ernie Hudson and Linney, and for a bit there I thought they’d have her fall for him. But they stuck to the script and pretty much ruined it.

    (Another movie with accidental chemistry was “The Client.” I thought Tommy Lee Jones was going to plant a big kiss on Susan Sarandon on the tarmac at the end, and honestly she looked a bit disappointed that he didn’t.)

    • Akira

      Congo was just awful but it did have some unintended funny moments.

      Haha damn, I forgot all about that movie…

      STOP EATING MY SESAME CAKE!!

  23. DrOtto

    Oh, also The Wraith. This one appealed to the gear-head in me.

    • DrOtto

      and Sherilynn Fenn appealed to the teenager in me.

  24. Tulip

    I’ll shut down the zoom at 9:30pm Eastern for lack of interest as I’m the only one there now unless more people show up.

    • MikeS

      Come join us here in the textual world!

  25. commodious spittoon

    Sorry, Clerks 2. I’m curious about this. Clerks to me is an eye rolling bore. Clerks 2 is terrific fun. Am I just basic?

    • rhywun

      I haven’t seen 2. I really like the original. ??‍♂️

      • DrOtto

        I loved Clerks and was really not looking forward to a sequel, turns out out wasn’t half bad.

    • Count Potato

      Clerks is great! Clerks 2 is funny.

  26. creech

    I understand it was a critical success, and many moviegoers loved it, but I found “Birdman” to be appallingly unwatchable.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Oh good lord, noooo.

  27. Chipping Pioneer

    Escape from L.A.

    • Sensei

      That’s tough. Loved NY, but LA just seemed played out and I don’t think I’ve ever rewatched it.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        The scene that made it for me was the tsunami-surfing green screen.

    • rhywun

      Ooof. Not even Buscemi can save that turd.

  28. Trigger Hippie

    I think my initial response wasn’t exactly in the spirit of the question…

    The Room is too easy…I dunno. The ending of Sleepaway Camp was fucking hilarious and made that piece of shit movie worth watching in the end…first time I saw that I laughed so hard my face hurt for two days afterwards.

    • rhywun

      El Topo?

    • slumbrew

      Tampopo is beloved. Does not meet the criteria.

  29. Trigger Hippie

    *burp*

    …I’m Gonna Git You Sucka

    Okay, I’ll piss off now. Have fun, all.

    • commodious spittoon

      Ooh, that’s a good one.

      “We’re gonna need an orthopedic surgeon to remove my foot from your–”

    • Loveconstitution1789

      How much for a rib? Got change for a hundred?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      He shot me in my bunion!

  30. KSuellington

    Showgirls. I frigging love that flick. Elizabeth Berkeley shoulda had a great career after that one and all she got was derision. It was a Verhoevan masterpiece, that was utterly misunderstood at the time and only gained appreciation much later.

    • Sensei

      Having an unrated and R cut did that film no favors either.

      • KSuellington

        Speaking of T&A fests that are awesome, I rewatched Wild Things a few months back and also loved it. Denise Richards in her pre Charlie Sheen prime and Matt Dillon and Kevin Bacon are great. It’s even got a fun twisty plot with plenty of Florida action. It’s a fun movie.

    • KSuellington

      And continuing on the T&A front, Spring Breakers was absolutely fantasticly terrible. The scene with Franco and the girls with the piano and guns singing Brittney Spears was comedy fucking gold.

      • EvilSheldon

        Spring Breakers was an interesting movie. Like probably every other Harmony Korine flick, it actually had something to say, but Korine is so far up his own ass that no one can hear anything but bits and pieces. And yeah, the piano scene was just perfect.

    • grrizzly

      Yes. I used to follow one film critic at the time. He was as snooty as they come–as in loved the movies from which the audience would walk out in Cannes. He loved Showgirls. I enjoyed it too.

  31. Gustave Lytton

    Oh good! The state has new vax commercials out. One is a mom talking about how her family got covid twice already so they all got vaxxed after that and she’s going to get the rest of her kids as soon as it’s approved. ?‍♂️ Meanwhile, her BMI is probably more of an issue that either covid itself or the vax, but let’s ignore that…

    And work clarified today that the mandate is merely paused based on the injunction, but could be reversed at any time leaving not much time to meet the 1/4 mandate so still need to upload your vax card soon. Totally voluntary. But you need to do it now.

    • pistoffnick

      My company just announced a $500 bonus to get your booster shot (this is on top of the $100 company store gift card to get your original Covid series of shots).

      Apparently we have millions of dollars to throw around on social engineering yet I’m crammed in a space that is 3X to small for my needs and my storage space for test articles is full.

  32. commodious spittoon

    No Country for Old Men

    Not a bad movie, but I can’t convince dad to watch it, because he’s read all of McCarthy’s books, and he thinks the movie might be violent and depressing.

      • commodious spittoon

        “…and then I woke up.”

        *clock continues ticking in the background*

        *cut to black*

        I can’t imagine why

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      Well, it is violent and depressing. ‘Cause, you know, Cormac.

      Damn good flick though, Cohens second best.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Well, he’s right. It was violent and depressing.

      It’s on the list of movies that I’m glad that I saw but never intend to watch again.

  33. Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

    Vampires Kiss. Nic Cage in all his trainwreck finery.

    • kinnath

      yes

  34. PutridMeat

    Kung-Pow: Enter the Fist

    Constantine

    • commodious spittoon

      I was thinking the first, didn’t even consider the latter.

      Best Lucifer portrayal. Tilda Swinton… amazing.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        If you like arty movies, Tilda does some great stuff. Early on, she was in a great version of Edward the 2nd, and Orlando is pretty good.

      • PutridMeat

        Best Lucifer portrayal. Tilda Swinton… amazing.

        wasn’t lucifer a dude? Tilda Swinton was the angel Gabriel (if she’s the actress I’m thinking of).

      • kinnath

        Correct

      • slumbrew

        Tilda was a great angel – suitably androgynous.

        Lucifer was Peter Stormare. And then he fixed the cable.

    • Spudalicious

      Screw you right in the pucker. Kung Pow, Enter The Fist was a tour de force.

    • Chafed

      I really enjoyed Constantine.

  35. commodious spittoon

    Batteries Not Included

    Not Bad movie, but one that featured prominently in my childhood, and which made no cultural impact whatsoever, as far as I can tell. The Rocketeer had more cultural influence than this film.

    • Shpip

      I can just imagine the pitch for that movie:

      Screenwriter: I got a great idea for a film! This group of toughs hired by a greedy developer is menacing the scrappy tenants of a New York apartment building.
      Studio Head: Oh, and Chuck Bronson shows up to save them, like Death Wish 3?
      SW: No. Better!
      SH: Stallone? Schwarzenegger?
      SW: Better!
      SH: Carl Weathers? One of those martial arts guys?
      SW: Better!
      SH: Okay, you got me. Who rides in to save the day?
      SW: Little robots from outer space. And get this: they… fix stuff. Speilberg’s already on board.

  36. The Bearded Hobbit

    Peter Jackson’s Hobbit movies.

    There, I said it.

    Ralph Freaking Bashke made it better and it still wasn’t that great.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      but you love it anyway…

      Missed that part.

      Saw the first on at the theater and tried to sleep halfway through.

      Rented the second one for home and got up and did something else about a third of the way through.

      Never saw the last one.

    • rhywun

      I thought Bashki made Lord of the Rings.

      I can only assume the Hobbit movies sucked (I haven’t seen them) is because they tried to turn one short novel into three movies.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        If I recall, Bashki made 2/3 of LoR and failed to get the funding for the remainder.

        His hobbit movie was not terribly bad and sort of followed the book.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        I loved those as a kid, no idea how they hold up today.

      • MikeS

        The Hobbit was short?

        *I fell asleep too many times and never finished it

  37. UnCivilServant

    I’m drawing a blank. it’s been so long since I’ve watched movies that I can’t remember them.

    I know I’ve enjoyed plenty of works that other people would regard as awful.

  38. rhywun

    Another movie I am on the fence with is Buffalo ’66.

    I love it and I think it’s great but I am worried I might be wrong.

  39. EvilSheldon

    Hackers. Angelina Jolie’s film debut, if I remember right. Bad acting, bad writing, and generally nonsensical, but still a great 90’s popcorn flick about outsider kids sticking it to the man.

    Along similar lines, does Sneakers count as a bad movie? It was certainly a bomb at the box office, but I loved it…

    • UnCivilServant

      In my freshman year of college my dorm was ‘Gibson Hall’, so we found it inordinately funny when the characters in Hackers were shouting ‘Hack the Gibson’. Another, larger dorm had a name very similar to the company in the movie whose name escapes me.

      Also, what sort of security consultant even gives non-technical executives superuser access on the mainframe and also doesn’t enforce a password policy which would disallow a three letter dictionary word as a password?

      • UnCivilServant

        I think it would be even funnier to watch that movie now. I’ll have to find a copy.

    • Not Adahn

      Sneakers was eerily prophetic wrt Dan Ackroyd. But brilliant cast, brilliant soundtrack, holey plot. I call it good.

  40. Mojeaux

    Coyote Ugly
    Top Secret

    Honorable mention: Ladyhawke, not because the film is bad. No, it is not. The soundtrack, though, is so dated it’s painful and makes the movie unwatchable.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Top Secret was awesome.

    • rhywun

      Ha I think we’ve argued over Ladyhawke before – the music, while dated, does not make it unwatchable. Not if you watch it in the right spirit as an eighties kid.

      • Mojeaux

        I tried that. So did not work.

    • Loveconstitution1789

      Top secret…shut your mouth!

      I have that on DVD.

      • hayeksplosives

        French Resistance Fighter # 1: (Flops down upon the table a dead carrier pigeon with an arrow through its breast: “There is a traitor in our midst!!”

        French Resistance Fighter # 2: (after glancing at pigeon): “Well I see that you have dealt with him appropriately!!”

        (Fave part of movie)

    • one true athena

      Tragically no anniversary release for Ladyhawke re-scored the film. I’d take appropriate bits of classical, doesn’t have to be a new score, kust change it, for the love of god. But that movie is Peak Rutger Hauer – I had such a crush.

      • hayeksplosives

        Tot s agree. Been liking for a bootleg copy of “soldier of Orange” for years.

        Ladyhawke is definitely diminished by Alan Parsons and his farty synthesizer. I would pay money to have that redone by an actual orchestra.

        “Look at me. Look at her. LOOK AT HER!”

      • l0b0t

        Before he made it in America, Rutger stared in Floris, a Dutch action-adventure period piece set in the middle ages. https://youtu.be/nkZfM2QHaSg

    • Chafed

      Great call on Coyote Ugly.

  41. pistoffnick

    I went on my first date as a newly single bachelor tonight. She’s a former cow-orker. Eleven years older than me (and I’m no spring chicken). She basically said she is no longer interested in sex after she had her hysterectomy. She’d rather go to her snugly home and watch Netflix. Not really interested in travel. Is allergic to cats.

    OK! I guess we’ll “just be friends”.

    Dating sucks!

    • slumbrew

      Oof, sorry, dude.

      A little I’m a little unclear on why she would accept the date if that’s how she feels.

    • MikeS

      Don’t rush, dude. Enjoy being single for a while. Come visit me; we’ll go out for drinks and I’ll introduce you to a couple of your GF coworkers.

    • rhywun

      she is no longer interested in sex after she had her hysterectomy

      I’m going to hell for sort of laughing at that. I have no idea what middle-age dating is like cuz it’s been so many years.

      Last year I had visions of what it might be like to have sex with an ostomy bag in the way.

  42. slumbrew

    Is Happy Gilmore a bad movie? Because it’s still makes my laugh.

    “I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!”

    • MikeS

      You eat shit for breakfast?!

      I don’t that think it’s a bad movie, I just think the Sandler haters say it is.

      • rhywun

        He has a unique talent to make any movie unwatchable. ?‍♂️

    • Loveconstitution1789

      Happy gilmore is a great movie!

      Bad Sandler movie is Cobbler.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        Funny thing about Happy Gilmore film is that the VW bug is shown crashed into the tv tower a few scenes before it actually crashes into the tv tower.

    • Spudalicious

      Happy Gilmore is his only funny movie.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        50 first dates? Billy madison? Mr deeds? Blended?

        Corny sandler flicks but not the worse comedy out there.

      • slumbrew

        * checks IMDB for list of movies *

        I believe you are correct, although Billy Madison has some funny bits.

        “Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

      • Ownbestenemy

        Going Overboard is by far his best film

  43. slumbrew

    Oh, how can I forget The Accountant? I love that movie.

    • Mojeaux

      Anna Kendrick is just adorbs.

      • slumbrew

        Yes, yes she is.

    • slumbrew

      I think Ozy knows the guy who plays the heavy here:

      https://youtu.be/ywViq6pWzvE?t=143

      such a great little reaction after getting flicked in the face then tossed down.

      Also, a great little wave at the end of the scene.

  44. R C Dean

    Wing Commander.

    Freddie Prinze Jr. Tcheky Karyo. David Suchet. That blonde guy, the annoying one. Some chick. Special effects! Corny dialogue! Kind of a low rent Starship Troopers vibe.

    • UnCivilServant

      It’s kinda sad after the cast they had for the video games proper.

      If they just stitched together the cutscenes, how would it stack up as a film?

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      OOh, I was just thinking about that the other day. Also has Jurgen Prochnow, from Das Boot.

      • rhywun

        To me he is Jürgen Prochnow, from The Keep. A perfectly awful movie that I love and therefore on topic.

    • PieInTheSky

      That was more realistic as a syfy than all the star trek put together… especially ships being far away when fighting because space.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Also Suchet, Iron Eagle.

      • hayeksplosives

        David Suchet, AKA best Poirot evah.

        His Murder on the Orient Express is divine.

        I also recommend his reading of the Bible on audiobook and his “in the footsteps of St Paul” documentary. Not a lot of Britons share their conversion to Christianity as adults. He does.

        Here’s a short clip about his Bible narration and why he chose to do it. The whole Bible narration Is free on YouTube but I bought the audiobook so I could download it all.

        https://youtu.be/fIRaC7jlvE0

  45. Loveconstitution1789

    The Blob!

    I mean you cant outrun jello?

  46. J. Frank Parnell

    Point Break

    Also, any movie from the 80s that has the word ‘Ninja’ in the title and stars Sho Kosugi

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      Barry Gordie’s Enter the Dragon.

      Sho ‘Nuff.

      • slumbrew

        Bruce Leroy!

        That is indeed a bad movie, and yet…

      • Ted S.

        Mahogany is fantastic.

    • Gustave Lytton

      American Ninja is a favorite. Much bad.

    • hayeksplosives

      Someday, I will introduce you to forms of written communication such as the semicolon, the period, and the long dash.

      It will be awesome. You’ll be great at it, and the comma-generating portion of your brain can be relieved of all the heavy lifting on its own.

      Smooches,

      Hayek

  47. slumbrew

    Predator 2

  48. Gender Traitor

    I don’t know that they’re really bad movies (although I’m not holding my breath that they’ll garner any American Film Institute awards,) but I will watch any animated movie with Minions in it. They’re just so damn cute!

  49. PieInTheSky

    The Parent Trap with Lindsay Lohan

    • Gustave Lytton

      Such an innocent freckled little kid.

  50. UnCivilServant

    Watching cooking show. Contest is chicken wings. Vegan chef decides to cook mushrooms instead of chicken.

    If you are unwilling to actually engage in the competition for whatever reason, why would you sign up for it?

    • PieInTheSky

      to get virtue points?

      • UnCivilServant

        I, as the audience, award him no points.

        There were two explicit rules. Ignoring one is just rude.

      • UnCivilServant

        He only stuck around because someone else served raw chicken.

    • Akira

      If you are unwilling to actually engage in the competition for whatever reason, why would you sign up for it?

      And why would the producers allow them to enter if they have no intention of following the contest rules?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Cause obscure websites will talk about it?!

  51. PieInTheSky

    Hillary Clinton
    @HillaryClinton
    I’m excited to invite you to join my new @Masterclass
    .

    I’ll be teaching the skills I developed throughout my career—the challenges, the triumphs, and all the rest.

    I hope these lessons will help you chart your own path with passion and purpose.

    https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/1468641119252758530

    • UnCivilServant

      Riding coattails and arranging assassinations?

      • PieInTheSky

        good solid skills for the 21st century

  52. UnCivilServant

    Welp. I’ve done it, I’ve gone and signed up for smithing classes in january. I’ll see if I can swing a hammer at hot iron and make something other than a mess or a burn scar.

    I figure instructor-led workshops are a better option for getting into that sort of activity than just trying to set up shop randomly.

    • UnCivilServant

      And with that, I’m going to sleep.

      Night, Glibs.

      • hayeksplosives

        G’night. Your brain will thank you for learning new things.

        Your back and shoulders…eh. Experiences vary.

  53. Toxteth O'Grady

    Not to sound like Bro Ward, but I admire my own taste in DVDs. Even the least good are funny.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      And someone decided I needed an introduction to Bollywood; s OK, will donate my copy of Om Shanti Om to the nearest free library.

      • l0b0t

        OMG! Watch Enthrian (Robot). It’s the first big budget sci-fi film ever made in India and it stars one of the most beautiful women on Earth, Aishwarya Rai.

        https://youtu.be/PoPv-Ss6YbI

    • rhywun

      Perfect timing when they’re about to kick out those 34,000 kids too.

    • Ghostpatzer

      “L.A. school board fires 500 employees”

      How times have changed. If I’d seen this headline 5 years ago, I’d have thought they were finally getting around to cutting costs.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Panic freak out/exigency/reasonable possible perhaps suspicion/loco parentis/smooches… totally legal.

  54. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning homey! And…. ::glances up & down thread, loses count::… all the rest of you!

      • Gender Traitor

        Hey – great news about the smithing classes. Good luck, and please do let us know how it goes.

        I’m afraid I nodded off during last night’s two-hour season premiere of Forged in Fire… and then when I finally got to bed I had a heck of a time getting back to sleep.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, I figured I had to finally stop saying someday and find out if I can do it. There was open space in January classes, so I signed up. Basic Blacksmithing in the first week of the month, and an everyday carry knife on the last week of the month.

        I plan to take pictures if possible, but not while working.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Whew, there are a lot of bad Nicholas Cage movies. Face/Off comes to mind.

  55. Chipping Pioneer

    I think we’ve missed the obvious: every single Hallmark Channel Christmas movie.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Those are the worst of the worst but they’re a moneymaker for some reason.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      Hey, man. If that’s your kink, that’s cool.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Are those nunchucks made out of woodchucks? No thanks…

  56. l0b0t

    The Pit, not the secret headquarters of Counterterrorist Strike Force Delta (codename: G.I. JOE), but the awful Canadian horror flick from 1981.

    https://youtu.be/T-fSOX9tyoY

  57. The Hyperbole

    Oh, and The Keep, so bad it’s the reason we haven’t gotten a Repairman Jack movie yet.

    • l0b0t

      I have a secret love of Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher. Cruise is, in every way, the opposite of the character as described in the books. Yet, I find the 2 films wonderful.

      • rhywun

        He’s probably too old to play Repairman Jack, thank God.

        RJ needs someone interesting, not just “competent”.

    • EvilSheldon

      The feud between F. Paul Wilson and Michael Mann is like watching your two best friends fighting in the front yard…

  58. Ghostpatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates.

    Bad movies? Thanks for making me remember this one.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Brain_from_Planet_Arous

    I was about 10 years old when I saw this. Still can hear the evil alien ‘splainin why earthlings should do his bidding. “After all, you have no choice” followed by evil laughter. And the ending is priceless, turns out that the evil alien is actually a spoiled brat just having a little fun.

    • rhywun

      Great. You can be sure they will take down the global economy with them.

  59. Gender Traitor

    I’m trying to think of my favorite bad musical movie, but I may be the only one here at the moment who even tolerates musicals at all. I don’t think 1776 qualifies as truly bad, though it’s certainly not in the top realm of musical films – and yet every July 4th I scan TCM’s schedule hoping they’re showing it again.

    l0, help me out here – other bad musicals?

    • Ghostpatzer

      I love musicals, mostly the old ones (Rodgers and Hammerstein, Frank Loesser, etc.). Haven’t seen most of the more recent ones. “Miss Saigon” was pretty awful, “Forbidden Broadway” did a great sendup including a toy helicopter on a string flying across the stage.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Ooh, Frozen! Leave it to Disney to completely butcher The Snow Queen/em>, my favorite fairy tale.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Much like I butchered that tag.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        *ignores 4 year old in Frozen pajamas looming over me*

        I wouldn’t put it in the “bad Disney” pile, but it surprises me how strong of a following it has.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Paint Your Wagon…does that count as bad?

    • l0b0t

      Alan Carr’s Can’t Stop The Music.. The very first movie with Steve Guttenberg, Bruce Jenner is in it, and it stars The Village People.

      https://youtu.be/wqeQWYwVFo0

      • Ghostpatzer

        Oh, that looks deliciously awful. Must see.

      • rhywun

        LOL I remember the breathless hyperventilating over that from the media.

    • Not Adahn

      Cannibal! The Musical.

      Glorious. Even better with the backstory.

    • Gender Traitor

      Ooh! I think I thought of one – Xanadu, the one thing I suspect Jeff Lynne leaves off his resume.

      • Tres Cool

        mmmmm…..Olivia Newton-John in aerobics workout clothes
        Teenaged Tres remembers.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Guys and Dolls is one of my two favorites, along with West Side Story, but Marlon Brando “singing” Luck be a Lady is excruciating. Every time I watch that I need to put on the original cast album to hear Robert Alda do it properly.

    • Grummun

      White Christmas. For all that they are going for a traditional, ol’ timey Christmas setting, so many of the dance numbers are modern dreck. Also the anorexic supporting actress is off-putting. The wife and I like to watch it and fast forward through all the musical bits. Bing Crosby and Danny Fucking Kaye are great.

  60. Not Adahn

    Tapeheads.

    Or at least, I’ve been told it’s a terrible movie. I personally think it’s absurdist genius. Definitely the finest Cusak/Robbins ocllaboration of all time.

  61. Festus

    Mornin’ All! Skipped ahead because I need to go play “Mother May I ?” with the boot-stompers tomorrow. Birthday is on Friday and papieres bitte. They’ve scattered so much de-icing agent at the plant that my nose has been bleeding for three hours. Need to get some food and rest before my trip to our version of the DMV. They are going to shred my Medical Card and I’m scheduled for my second dose next week. You need the card for scanning. Clown World. I’ll take a pic, front and back and hopefully that passes muster, otherwise I’m in “don’t give a shit” mode right now. 18 days down, 15 until Xmas eve…

  62. UnCivilServant

    I hate whoever decided that it was a great idea to cram tabs onto the title bar.

    It’s damn stupid, and I have to move the window more often than I want to drag a tab anywhere.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      GridMove. Tiling window managers are superior, and moving the app is just a hot key away.

  63. Q Continuum

    Since q-ette is sick and I’m still basically up from last night, I’ll call these Glibs After Dark.

    https://archive.md/k4PkR

    NSFW.

    #2…drool…

    • robodruid

      Realldoll

  64. Sean

    https://www.rt.com/news/542645-israel-omicron-quarantine-coronavirus/

    Israel has increased the quarantine period for people infected with the ‘super-mutant’ Omicron variant of the coronavirus over suspicions they could remain contagious longer than other Covid patients.

    Starting from Thursday, Omicron carriers will have to quarantine for 14 days, instead of the 10 days mandated for people infected with other strains, the Israeli Health Ministry announced.

    Isn’t Israel among the top vaccinated countries?

    • PieInTheSky

      you need 6 shots for omicron israelies only have 3

    • rhywun

      Ugh what fresh horror is this…

      *clicks*

      OFFS. Deblasio has been trying to push this shit on us for years.

      I will not comply.

    • Sean

      Honk honk!

    • Ghostpatzer

      LOL.

    • rhywun

      The transformation of the meaning of the word “authoritarian” is complete, I guess.