Monday Morning Links

by | Dec 20, 2021 | Daily Links | 391 comments

You can stop trying to go for two any time, dumbass.

What a crazy sports weekend. Tom Brady got shut out by the quarterback-less Saints. The AFC North is an absolute logjam. The NFC is likely to have a Wild Card team with a .500 record (at best). Peng Shuai would rather her family live than all mysteriously die in an “accident”. And in an egregious display of the worst officiating possible, Liverpool were denied a likely win against Spuds and the two points they are being screwed out of may loom large.  That was absolute SHIT. Anyway, that’s it for sports.

Run, runners!

Physician Samuel Mudd was born on this day. He shares it with tire magnate Harvey Firestone, baseball player/manager/executive Branch Rickey, actress Irene Dunn, track and football great Bob Hayes, magician Uri Geller, formulaic TV creator Dick Wolf, actress Jenny Agutter, music producer Alan Parsons, actor Jonah Hill, and soccer player Kylian Mbappe.

OK, now let’s get on to…the links!

Here comes the shitstorm. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a wild ride in 2022.

::pants-shitting sound effect::

“It’s the end of the world as we know it.” – Jen Rubin. “And I feel fine.” -Me.

Damn, this is so sad. I hope they can get a lot of the stranded and missing people rescued, but I’m not optimistic.

Somehow, this is the fault of people like me. At least that’s what I’m being told. I still can’t quite understand the logic.

Adios, Rey. Esta es la cosa triste que leeré todo el día. Dude era una leyenda absoluta.

Live by the sword, die by the sword. Sorry, Team Blue. You made the rules.

But remember, he’s the bad guy here. Not the asshole Senator who has never contributed anything to society whatsoever.

I don’t give a shit.

Oh no, not a party! This has to be the first time in the history of the world something like this has happened. Heads should roll!!!

“Get this man a contract.” – CNN. Just kidding. They’ll 1099 him in order to keep it from becoming too public.

I hope she ends up owning the whole complex after his. Or at least gets to beat the shit out of somebody.

Jesus, Colorado, get your shit together. This is absolutely insane.

Christmas week calls for Christmas music. Enjoy it, my friends.

And enjoy this lovely Monday!

About The Author

sloopyinca

sloopyinca

391 Comments

  1. juris imprudent

    Team Blue never expects to play by the same rules, ever.

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      They are the RIGHTEOUS!!!

    • Nephilium

      If you’re not cheating, you don’t really want to win!

    • Drake

      Doing right ain’t got no end!

    • AlexinCT

      Everyone knows that the good guys are the ones that will cheat, lie, steal, murder, and in general engage in all sorts of evil shit to win or just for fun, cause the other guys are bad people…

  2. Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

    Mmm… Jenny Agutter.

    Makes Homer salivating noises.

    • Festus

      Seeing “Walkabout” when I was 7 years old forged me into the man that I am today.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        An American Werewolf in London for this fine young lad.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    “I’m thankful to be fully vaccinated and boosted and experiencing only mild symptoms (the vaccine is safe and effective),” Crow said.

    Was he reading that off a card, like a North Korean detainee?

    • rhywun

      “Blink twice if you need help.”

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Joe Manchin, history’s greatest monster

    With billions of dollars for clean energy, the Build Back Better legislation has the potential to substantially and rapidly cut heat-trapping emissions in the U.S. But after West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin rejected the bill on Sunday, Build Back Better is effectively dead, at a time when scientists say the world can’t afford to wait on climate change.

    “It’s really disheartening,” says Leah Stokes, associate professor of political science at University of California Santa Barbara. “We don’t have any more decades left to waste, and failure is not an option.”

    The legislation earmarked $555 billion for renewable energy and clean transportation incentives over a decade, the country’s largest climate change investment ever. The policies are crucial for President Biden’s goal of cutting greenhouse gas emissions 50-52% by 2030, compared to 2005 levels.

    ——-

    By the end of the century, temperatures are currently on track for almost 5 degrees Fahrenheit of warming, setting the stage for more dangerous hurricanes and droughts, rising seas that would inundate coastal cities around the world, and the disappearance of entire ecosystems like coral reefs.

    In the past year alone, deadly floods and heat waves took lives across the U.S. – extreme weather events that are only expected to intensify on a hotter planet. Over the summer, record-breaking heat killed more than 200 people in the Pacific Northwest. The temperatures, reaching 116 degrees in some places, would be “virtually impossible” without climate change, according to scientists with the World Weather Attribution collaborative.

    There’s no time to waste. We have to act now.

    • Sean

      If we spend more money, we’ll live forever.

    • CPRM

      World Weather Attribution collaborative

      Band Name or 80s cartoon villain org?

      • rhywun

        Bond villain front group.

      • Festus

        1980’s. They’re WWAC!

    • Tonio

      The cranky toddler meltdown over this is epic.

    • WTF

      “It’s really disheartening,” says Leah Stokes, associate professor of political science at University of California Santa Barbara. “We don’t have any more decades left to waste, and failure is not an option.”

      That really tells you everything you need to know about this issue.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Something something weather’s not climate?

      Good weather is not climate, bad weather is climate.

  5. Certified Public Asshat

    Liverpool were denied a likely win against Spuds and the two points they are being screwed out of may loom large.

    Xg says Spurs 3.4 – Liverpool 1.3.

    • sloopyinca

      What does Xg say about Harry Kane not getting sent off 20 minutes in for about as reckless a tackle as you’ll see all season?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        It says it was only a yellow.

      • sloopyinca

        Seems legit.

      • juris imprudent

        Good enough to have a Bosnian sent off in the friendly with the U.S.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, that’s a potential leg-breaker.

      • robc

        I am old school, but if he even nicked the ball on the way in, that isn’t a foul at all.

        If he missed the ball, probably red with studs up. But I would want to see it at full speed, not slow mo or a still pic.

    • juris imprudent

      SPORTZ ANALYTIX!!!

  6. juris imprudent

    Why I hate humanity.

    • Sensei

      And let’s not adjust this for where you live and the cost of living there.

      These articles are nothing if predictable.

      • sloopyinca

        There’s a link there that does it by income/metro area/family size. But I can’t speak to its accuracy.

    • Festus

      One of the reasons that I hate humanity is Getty Images.

    • CatchTheCarp

      I thought I was middle class – but according to the “calculator” I’m upper class for my area. Time to order a monocle!

      • rhywun

        #metoo

        *looks around*

        I must be doing “upper class” wrong.

      • Chafed

        Remember to order a cane and tophat too.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Real envy is statistically justified

      • Festus

        It’s just a pigment of your imagination.

      • TARDis

        Hue better stop that, Fes.

      • Sean

        Knock it off with the off colour comments.

      • PutridMeat

        I’m not sure the lovely puns deserve a narrowed gaze, but to each their own. The greatest offense here is the use of “colour” by a, presumably, red-blooded ‘Merican.

    • hayeksplosives

      “I make enough to pay the bills, but I need you to Tell me how to feel.”

  7. Festus

    Sporting news but too local – My erstwhile Canucks won five in a row but they’ve been shut down by the sniffles. Great way to kill momentum. This is almost as bad as the ’94 Expos being robbed by the lock-out. New management, happy players, quick hands. They looked like contenders for a couple of weeks. Ah well, I don’t pay as much attention no more.

  8. Sensei

    I hope she ends up owning the whole complex after his.

    Knowing big organizations – possibly a rogue employee, but I’d make a higher wager on former tenant.

    Article makes note the smoke detectors were recently serviced. Minimum wage dude went to put in a new battery into fake detector. Doesn’t care that it’s fake, but also doesn’t close it up completely. He may or may not have actually replaced the battery if it was the same size that he had with him.

    That’s what eventually made the tenant check it out.

    • sloopyinca

      The fact that it was fixed when she got back and her bf didn’t do it is what makes me think it was recently installed.
      Either way, it’ll be on the SD card. Somebody is going to be paying up.

      • Not Adahn

        Unless the installer was wearing xer coofmask!

      • sloopyinca

        It’ll be perfect if the installer was wearing her underwear as a mask while putting it in.

      • Festus

        This

    • Tonio

      I would imagine they re-key for liability reasons, so probably not a former tenant. But could be a creep with a lockpick set.

  9. rhywun

    That was absolute SHIT.

    Didn’t see it because pay, but this season is figuring to be another one with an asterisk.

    Spin the wheel and see who gets to play this week!

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Robertson scored after a Salah handball in the build-up, so Sloopy is a little selective in his outrage.

      • sloopyinca

        How does the game go with Spuds reduced to 10 men for 70 minutes? Come on, man.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        You take off two from xg and it is still 1.4-1.3? I don’t know.

      • robc

        Plenty of teams win down a man.

    • Nephilium

      We get to find out what players are able to play for the Browns at 14:00 Eastern. The game starts at 17:00 Eastern.

      I did see one breathless report saying that the sports leagues are trying to listen to fake science and medical personal. Since Omicron is milder in symptoms, the leagues want to stop testing players, and let them decide if they’re well enough to play on their (and their coaches/medical staff) own recognizance! This will surely add to the growing pile of dead professional athletes struck down by the ‘vid.

      • Swiss Servator

        I notice that none of the articles, stories, posts, radio or TV spots ever say if anyone is actually … sick. In Chicago, first time around, a White Sox player got quite sick, and his year was garbage. He was fine this year…but I can’t think of anyone else who actually got knocked down and out.

      • CPRM

        Last year Cam Newton supposedly had it bad, or at least that was his excuse for his bad play when he came back.

      • Swiss Servator

        He is still awful…maybe he has a DEDLY NU VAREEUNT!

      • Nephilium

        Myles Garrett had a noticeable drop off last year when he got it. From what he said, it caused his asthma to act up even more. He spent the offseason getting into monster shape though, and has rebounded completely. Based on public statements he’s made, he doesn’t want to risk catching it again, and has been isolating from the players during the recent outbreak here in CLE.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    And, of course, the obligatory smear:

    Manchin, whose family profits from a coal business in West Virginia, has taken issue with several climate provisions in Build Back Better over months of negotiations. Earlier this year, he pushed to strip another clean energy program from the bill. The $150 billion Clean Electricity Performance Program would have used carrots and sticks to get electric utilities to use carbon-free power sources, but was removed from the bill.

    I wonder how many Senators (or their “blind” trusts) stand to gain from the big push to miraculous energy sources.

    • Festus

      Why not ask the Pelosi’s Broker? They seem to have done alright by him.

    • Drake

      Somebody from WV who has a stake in the coal business? No way. Obviously it would be in the interests of WV residents to elect people who want to kill that industry.

      • AlexinCT

        They need the cash earmarked for “Building Back” that was supposed to flow into their campaign coffers and the pockets of all sorts of connected agencies that would then work hard to fortify the 2022 midterms. Without that money they will be trying to fortify the election with only half the tens of billions they had planned to piss away on fucking over the American people.

      • robc

        Coal is why WV (and KY to a lesser extent) went D to R states in presidential elections.

  11. rhywun

    Build Back Better ‘no’ vote is threat to the ‘future of American democracy’

    I can’t even piece together the train of thought here. I mean, usually there is some sort of twisted “logic” to their lies and hysteria, but this… I don’t get it.

    • db

      When the democratically elected representatives of the people exercise their power granted to them by the people, that’s a failure of democracy.

      Depending on the outcome and the issue at hand, various parts of “the people” will bemoan or laud this.

      Perhaps somewhat less power should be granted to the elected representatives of the people.

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      The train of thought is toddlers having a tantrum.

      They are almost into the heaving tears stage, but that won’t happen until the next election. Right now they are trying to convince mommy that they NEED the new toy.

      • rhywun

        They were *this close* to achieving their near-complete wish-list in one fell swoop; I guess it’s no surprise that the fall from that euphoria is hitting them hard.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        Indeed.

        It’s kinda like Bill Murray in Groundhogs Day, in that the night after he came so, so close to closing the deal with Andy McDowell he tries again and just flails and fails.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s Rubin.

      She’s easily one of the most despicable creatures in modern America. I have no doubt she would have sold out her own family to the NKVD.

    • MikeS

      I saw some BlueCheck ™ agreeing and piling on saying that each state getting 2 senators was proof American Democracy ™ is failed democracy. That and the Electoral College, of course.

      They want (for now) a direct democracy…a.k.a. mob rule.

  12. db

    Gooooooood Morning!

  13. Certified Public Asshat

    Our family's holiday is ruined. This sucks. We did everything right and variants are raging because some people have decided not to take minor precautions.— Hunter Walker (@hunterw) December 19, 2021

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I had COVID in 2020 with no vaxx. It was far, far worse than this and I was afraid I might die. The booster is the only reason I am safe. This is garbage misinformation. https://t.co/lyTwpmnFJg— Hunter Walker (@hunterw) December 19, 2021

      This guy has had it twice* now and is blaming everyone else for not taking enough precautions.

      *I guess pending how you feel about getting it twice.

      • invisible finger

        He’s never had it twice. At most he’s had two shitty tests that said “positive”. Instead of questioning the validity/accuracy of the tests, he just hates people that don’t virtue signal like he does.

      • invisible finger

        The way I’m approaching it is that if you got the ‘vid before the jab, you have natural immunity and didn’t need the jab. But if you took the jab – with or without previous infection – your elevated antibodies from the jab make you susceptible to other pathogens. The unknown is whether or not the jab-after-infection undoes the immunity from the original infection. The smart thing would be to quarantine (40 days, none of this 10 day bullshit) after the jab, but they could not sell the damn thing that way.

      • CPRM

        I got it twice, I know how to not get it! Unlike you, who’ve never gotten it!

      • Trigger Hippie

        “I’m not the Messiah!”

        “I say you are and I should know, I’ve followed a few.”

      • Festus

        Hah!

      • Nephilium

        I think I’ve found the thought process behind the MOAR BOOSTER crowd.

        More organs means more human!

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Also, I am not the science like some people. But why are variants evolving to be vaccine resistant, in order to infect the unvaccinated (who are to blame for variants)? If there is a sciency reason I am interested in hearing it.

      • juris imprudent

        UN-BELIEVER!!! Shun him!

      • db

        Take 1 million virus particles. Assume there is some amount of random mutation among them, maybe 1 in 10 million (I know that viruses are known to be relatively prone to mutation in ways that other organisms (yes, viruses are not alive, but I’m using that term anyway) are not, generally.

        Now, these viruses attack cells and begin replicating. Upon each replication, each has a 1 in 10 chance of mutating in some way. A virus operates by invading the cells of the host organism, taking over the protein productive capabilities of the cell and making as many copies of itself that the cell can make before it fails. So, that virus may replicate, say, a hundred thousand times (not sure if this is realistic, or woefully high or low, but let’s go with it). So, of those 100,000 resulting viruses, 10,000 of them will likely be mutated in some way. These are assumed to be random. Most will probably result in a defective virus that cannot do any further damage or replication (let’s say 99%). So now 100 viruses have been modified in some way that doesn’t stop them, and some may be randomly improved in a way that a vaccine cannot prepare the host’s immune system to fight them, let’s say another 1%, so 10.

        Now, those 10 viruses replicate another 100,000 times each, so we have a million of those “better” ones now. In the meantime, the original virus is still replicating, but the vaccine-enhanced immune system will kill them off at a higher rate than the “improved” viruses. So now the proportion over time of the viruses being successfully replicated becomes weighted more and more heavily in favor of the “improved” virus.

        This all happens at an enormous rate, and it is natural selection in near real time.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Whose side are you on?

        But that’s a good explanation.

      • db

        I made a slight math error above (1% of 100 is 1, not 10) but the explanation stands, it would just take a few more cycles to get the “improved” virus population back up to the initial population of 1 million, and then it would be off to the races.

      • Drake

        What db said plus – the way these “vaccines” are made, they only give your immune system a look at the spike protein in the virus, not the whole thing like a traditional vaccine would.

        This means the virus only has to evolve that one protein slightly differently to evade the vaccine and make itself at home.

      • db

        That’s a good point. These vaccines will be less effective over time than a traditional type that might involve inactivated virus that better simulates the real thing.

    • RBS

      Reporter
      @theuprising
      | Words In
      @newyorker

      @rollingstone

      @theatlantic

      @nymag

      @cjr
      | Writing a book about progressive politics for
      @wwnorton
      | DMs open for tips

    • invisible finger

      I assume anyone on Twitter is a CCP operative.

      • Drake

        Anyone not on Twitter is a smart VC.

      • AlexinCT

        Well disciplined…

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Awwww…. Poor baby

      On the plus side, you get to act like a total pussy and victim on social media now.

    • Penguin

      I feel so bad for these asshats. Maybe they should compare their fortunes to these other people who “did everything right”.

      And then go fuck off.

      • Festus

        Yup. That’s why I felt a little shaky getting the second one on Saturday. I’m not afraid of dying but not yet, not yet… So they jab me and I start bleeding like a pig.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        So you are doubled now, but when will they force a third?

      • Penguin

        Sorry, Festus.

      • Festus

        Maybe my body bled it out!

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Hobbs’s defenders say the second apology was a sufficient mea culpa and that the Adams decision will not play a factor in 11 months.

    “One thing about voters that we all know, they have very short memories, and we have a very long time,” said Pima County Democratic Party Chair Bonnie Heidler, who added Hobbs is “trying to address it as best she can.”

    Voters are dumb manipulable sheep. We’ll find some new shiny object to distract them with.

    • sloopyinca

      Pretty sure they’ll go with “oh yeah? Well my opponent is an even bigger racist” defense.

  15. Not Adahn

    Good morning!

    Unfortunately, management is in this week so I can’t start the holidays early.

    Grats ES on your win, and here’s someone mud-testing their Alien: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_o47KAlgp4

    TW: horrible grinding noises.

    • db

      I have a friend who torture tested a Hi-Point .40 many years ago and posted the results online. Among other things, he left the gun in his cats’ litter box for two weeks, then shoot the filth off of it and test fired it until it jammed (after about 100 rounds). Then he applied Crisco to the gun to lube it, and kept firing. The thing was a beast.

      • db

        shook, not shoot

      • Not Adahn

        You can buy a Hi-Point for the price of an Alien magazine.

        Also from a review I watched recently “on a build quality scale from Switzerland to China, this comes in at Sri Lanka or Ohio.”

      • EvilSheldon

        Straight blowback guns are pretty hard to choke. On the other hand, that zamak frame ain’t gonna hold up for very long. But for $150, you’ll probably get what you paid for.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        They can definitely take a beating and keep on going. A .40 Hi-Point was my first handgun. Someone was murdered in the street just a block from my house when I was a broke college student and the price was right. Also recently won a 9mm carbine Hi-Point donated for a charity raffle. There are much better guns to carry and more fun guns to shoot, but I have a fond spot for Hi-Points, even if I’ll likely never buy one again.

    • EvilSheldon

      Thanks!

  16. Scruffy Nerfherder

    BWAHAHAHAAAA!!

    Fauxcahantas has COVID.

    • Festus

      I don’t wish her dead but I do hope that her recovery period is long, tiring and painful. CWAC.

    • creech

      Well, we know she won’t be spreading it because that would make her an Indian giver.

    • db

      Let them eat themselves.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Overgrown children

      We’re overdue for a barbarian invasion.

      • db

        Look around, it’s happening already, from within.

    • Festus

      I thought that was going to be about the Armed Forces.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      The move, under discussion for a year, is also a business decision.

      The leagues also noted that the name of the sport, which resembles field hockey but uses broomsticks, is also trademarked by Warner Bros., which “has limited the sport’s expansion, including but not limited to sponsorship and broadcast opportunities.”

      They were also violating trademarks.

    • rhywun

      I think we have a candidate for Peak Stupid.

      • juris imprudent

        I’m torn between the dweebs organizing the game and Warner Bros for trademarking it.

      • sloopyinca

        Good for WB. They trademarked it so they could sell toys to little kids. The fact that they’re fucking with the fun of these imbeciles is just a bonus.

      • juris imprudent

        That is anti-intellectual property. I don’t give a fuck about WB’s profits.

      • db

        How is it even possible to play a game which requires flying brooms and an enchanted ball?

      • sloopyinca

        Just use your imagination.

        Oh, and drugs.

      • Festus

        That’s right! You were late to the Glib-Zooms!

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I don’t know how these guys are playing it, but when I read the books Quidditch was the dumbest sport that could have been conceived. Rowling has apparently never played sports before, because the game of throwing balls through a hoop is secondary to players who are chasing a separate ball across the field that no one else can touch and is worth 150 points.

      • Festus

        Her entire schtick is seeing the world through an eleven year-old girl’s eyes. Of course it will be silly.

      • Not Adahn

        I went to a Potter fanfic convention at Harry Potterland (because I was banging one of the presenters). I was given more than one hardcover of someone trying to create the next copycat hit series. They all succeeded in having even stupider games. The only one I can remember had them inflating one of the players from each team to use as a ball.

      • AlexinCT

        Was there some kind of description of how you would have to blow air instead of sucking on the pecker to make the player ball up?

      • Not Adahn

        Blow… air…? Oh you mean speak pseudolatin magic words! Yes, they did that.

    • Penguin

      Nice picture. What’s the guy in purple grabbing?

    • EvilSheldon

      I am convinced that these people exist to make me feel more secure in my nerdy hobbies…

    • Grumbletarian

      The surveys are expected to be done by the end of January and include an online version for fans to submit. However, the leagues said they will retain their respective “USQ” and “MLQ” acronyms, suggesting the new name will begin with a “Q.”

      Prediction: Queerball

      • Rat on a train

        QAnon is taken.

  17. Sensei

    NYU Is Top-Ranked—In Loans That Alumni and Parents Struggle to Repay

    Five months after Kassandra Jones earned her master’s in public health from New York University in May 2019, she still hadn’t landed a job in the field. She was staring down a six-figure student-loan balance and had to pay for rent and food.

    So she sold her eggs. Again.

    Ms. Jones first harvested her eggs before starting at NYU in 2017 to help pay for moving to the city, she said. She received a $12,500 annual scholarship and relied on $131,000 in federal loans to cover the rest of her tuition and expenses. She has given her eggs five times, including to an NYU fertility clinic, earning $50,000.

    Now 28 years old, Ms. Jones is working freelance on public-health campaigns for nonprofits making about $1,500 a month, which isn’t covering her living expenses, she said. She is applying for new jobs and considering leaving the field. “There are definitely moments where that number just looms as this tunnel that doesn’t have a light at the end of it,” she said of her debt. “It feels like I’m kind of trapped.”

    • Festus

      Self-made spinster.

    • rhywun

      working freelance on public-health campaigns for nonprofits

      It took six years of secondary education to achieve… that?

      There may be a lesson in there somewhere. I wonder if anyone will heed it.

      • Nephilium

        That we need to spend more on education? That’s the lesson, right?

      • Lackadaisical

        That has to be the fanciest way to say ‘unemployed’ I’ve ever heard. What is welfare paying these days? $1500/month?

      • Lackadaisical

        Cato estimates the welfare package available in the Empire State is the “pre-tax wage equivalent” of $41,251, which is 110.5 percent of the actualstatewide median wage of 39,562 (i.e., the median amount made by people who are employed).

        Jesus.

        https://www.empirecenter.org/publications/ny-ranks-high-in-welfare-benefits/

        That was in 2013, so it *has* to be higher now.

      • rhywun

        Insanity.

    • juris imprudent

      TWO YEARS and $131,000 in loans? Plus $12,500 per year scholarship?

      Damn, I know NY is expensive, but really?

      • rhywun

        More relevantly… NYU is expensive. All of that money went to tuition.

      • AlexinCT

        And I bet the degree obtained will qualify the person for a job as a barista at best?

      • juris imprudent

        Snippet said tuition and expenses, so I assumed that included living. OK, so who is stupid enough to pay that kind of tuition? Based on the presumption of what kind of income after graduation?

        No way do those jobs justify that kind of investment in the degree. Flat out stupid.

      • Rat on a train

        Her degree probably lines up with Social and Community Service Manager.

      • l0b0t

        The way I’ve heard it explained by ex’s posh, Upper West-Side relations is that NYU is a mediocre, but thoroughly overpriced, undergraduate school that exists solely to funnel money to their (excellent) graduate programs.

      • juris imprudent

        OK, so I looked it up, $25-30K a year in tuition.

        So that $131,000 was not for tuition and books. Imma say Ms. Jones is a bit of a phony.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Liberal media and progressive politicians immediately attacked Manchin for his position, including his colleague Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., who accused Manchin of being beholden to pharmaceutical companies.

    Wait, what?

    • Not Adahn

      All Appalachians rely on oxycodone to live. It is known.

      • Festus

        My fear is that he bends. He is after all, a swamp creature, through and through.

      • Urthona

        He booked a Fox News gig to get the message direct@y to his people. However he’s signaled he’d be willing spend another 2 trillion, but at least the most radical ideas may be left out.

        They are now acting blind sighted but really should’ve listened to him all along.

    • rhywun

      I thought he was beholden to Big Coal. It’s so hard to keep up.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The pharmas suck and are buying off pols. Now go get your Pfizer booster. Sanders really is a damn fool.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      I think Manchin’s daughter had some high position with an insulin manufacturer, and there was something in BBB that was intended to lower insulin prices. So there is a potential conflict of interest, but then every lawmaker probably has similar conflicts. I also thought Trump had done something that lowered, or at least had the stated intention of lowering, insulin prices, but Biden got rid of that because Trump.

      • Urthona

        It should be quite solvable. Our high insulin prices are entirely caused by government enforced patent protectionism.

  19. Rat on a train

    Hopefully the US has some ships nearby to help with the typhoon recovery. The eye passed within 50 miles of my wife’s hometown. They are without power and cell service, but fortunately there are no deaths or significant structural damage. The provinces to the north were not as fortunate. They need help with transportation in the rugged terrain.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Democracy is hanging by a thread.

    Yup.

    • db

      If Democracy is hanging by a thread, and Democracy dies in darkness, does that mean that Democracy will die of autoerotic asphyxiation in a closet?

    • Festus

      Sure is. Where’s that pair of shears that I keep about for just such an eventuality?

    • sloopyinca

      Where’s my scissors?

    • Certified Public Asshat

      51-49 is good, but 49-51 is the end of everything.

      • Sean

        51-49 is good

        That’s a mandate!

      • sloopyinca

        It’s not even 51-49. It’s 50-50 with the VP breaking a tie. That’s perfectly fine and just. But 49-51 is an absolute fucking constitutional crisis the likes of which we’ve never seen before.

        Man, fuck these cocksuckers.

      • Festus

        I’m out of words about it, Sloop. They want to destroy America and the free-ish world in the process. Expand the Supreme Court, get rid of the filibuster. Everything is about gaining power. It happened here, please don’t let it happen there.

      • Rat on a train

        The rules need to change since they aren’t getting their way just like elections.

      • AlexinCT

        Democracy means democrats get what they want!

      • Rat on a train

        It’s in the name!

      • juris imprudent

        It isn’t even 50-50. There are 50 Republicans, 48 Democrats and 2 independents (that just happen to be flaming lefties). And the idiot making the most noise about the minority party not getting to rule is one of the two independents.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    “And this also goes into the question of voting rights because unless there’s something that can be done about the filibuster rule in the Senate which Manchin again has indicated he will not change, there is not going to be an effective legislative means of doing what needs to be done to guarantee American democracy through the right to vote for all Americans without being suppressed as we’re seeing now,” Bernstein said.

    If we can’t ram anything we want down the throats of our political opposition, DEMOCRACY! is dead.

    What really fucks up democracy is when the other guys win an election. We cannot allow that to happen.

    • Q Continuum

      “guarantee American democracy”

      Freudian slip.

      • juris imprudent

        No, it’s a typo – it should be Democratzi!

    • Urthona

      how are they gonna feel when republicans control congress again?

      • Sean

        “Not gonna happen.”

        -The vote counters.

      • WTF

        They can’t use the large urban areas to game the votes for congressional races, but they will damn well “fortify” the senate races and the 2024 presidential elections.

      • Sean

        Until they clamp down on this mail-in bullshit and counting for days after the election, I’m not trusting any of it.

  22. Q Continuum

    Mammary Monday sez Cynthia Pickles must give the best blowjobs on Earth, otherwise why does Stu stay with her?

    https://archive.md/DvKQE

    • Festus

      Good God! Did you find that reference taped to a hobo’s shoe? Well-made!

    • Fatty Bolger

      Isn’t Cynthia the doll?

  23. db

    Archbishop Vigano:

    This coup was made possible by an emergency pandemic that is based on the premise of a virus that has a mortality rate almost analogous to that of any other seasonal flu virus, on the delegitimization and prohibition of effective treatments, and on the distribution of an experimental gene serum which is obviously ineffective, and which also clearly carries with it the danger of serious and even lethal side effects.

    Lots of “New World Order” (literally) in the letter, but he’s right about a lot of what he says.

    • Festus

      Do we refer to him as “Vidge” or “Vig”?

    • Festus

      Thanks! That’s a smart-stepping horse!

      • Fourscore

        I’m crying ‘Foal’

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Unshakeable faith

    Health authorities in New Zealand have said they believe a 26-year-old man’s death is connected to a side effect from Pfizer’s COVID-19 vaccine.

    A preliminary post-mortem analysis indicated that the probable cause of the man’s death was myocarditis, which is a rare side effect of the vaccine that causes the heart muscle wall to become inflamed, according to Bloomberg.

    “With the current available information, the Board has considered that the myocarditis was probably due to vaccination in this individual,” a statement from New Zealand’s Covid-19 Vaccine Independent Safety Monitoring Board said of the man, who died within two weeks of receiving his first Pfizer vaccine, per Bloomberg.

    The statement noted that “Covid-19 infection can itself be a cause of myocarditis” and said “it remains safer to be vaccinated than to be infected with the virus.”

    Unvaccinated, that otherwise healthy 26 year old was no less likely to die than a prisoner on Death Row.

    • db

      Death by myocarditis in young, healthy individuals is rare, so take the jab, you dangerous fool!

      Death by COVID in young, healthy individuals is rare, so take the jab, you dangerous fool!

      • PieInTheSky

        you protect others although not that much as transmission is not that well prevented but we live in a society or something

      • db

        If vaccinated people can spread the virus (a fact of which I am assured by the media), then how does my vaccination protect others?

      • Drake

        It protects pharma profits and politicians’ kickbacks.

      • Sean

        And firmly establishes a subscription program.

      • PieInTheSky

        it just does okay trust the experts

      • Nephilium

        It protects others as long as you believe it does.

      • Urthona

        cause you’re not taking up a hospital bed. Hospitals are understaffed because they fired so many people for not taking the vaccine. or
        something.

    • R C Dean

      “Covid-19 infection can itself be a cause of myocarditis” and said “it remains safer to be vaccinated than to be infected with the virus.”

      The FDA says that the vaccine is more dangerous for men under 40 than the disease, you know.

  25. PieInTheSky

    goddamnit I hate QRC… worst part of the job these days… But next year may bring worse things…

    • Not Adahn

      I was never into cable shopping networks.

      • PieInTheSky

        oh ha ha

    • PieInTheSky

      Innovus seems even more annoying than Quantus

  26. Q Continuum

    “NYPD rookie gives lieutenant lap dance at wild holiday party now under investigation”

    I regret being too young for 80’s Christmas parties in which drunkenly fucking your coworkers in the bathroom was mandatory.

    • db

      I worked at a company in the early 2000s where I was told that in the 1970s through early ’90s there was a mattress in the basement telecoms room specifically for the purpose of office hookups.

      • Festus

        I used to work in large kitchens back in the 80’s and it was basically Peyton Place. Beware the walk-in!

    • PieInTheSky

      The face is blurred but looks a solid would

      • Not Adahn

        Rookie cops are typically young and fit.

      • PieInTheSky

        the donuts have yet to kick in?

      • Not Adahn

        Exactamundo.

      • UnCivilServant

        Mosaic face is an awful disease for which there is little hope of a cure.

    • EvilSheldon

      In the bathroom? What kind of low-class operation were you running? That’s what the stairwells are for!

    • Animal

      I’m sensing another Allamakee County story in the making.

  27. juris imprudent

    Hmm what Covid uncertainty could be assailing the Davos class? Perhaps that the serfs aren’t willingly going along with the plan?

    • Drake

      Somebody doodled random crap on her body. Looks like my notebook during a boring class.

    • Q Continuum

      Needz bigger tits.

      Not that I wouldn’t mind you…

      • PieInTheSky

        bigger than her sister’s I believe

  28. Q Continuum

    RE: Trucker who’ll get out of prison at age 136.

    I remember when that crash happened, it was horrific. IIRC, I-70 was shut down for two days cleaning up. I’m torn on the sentence and I do think mandatory minimums are a shitty idea. That said, anyone who’s ever driven I-70 through the mountains knows there are numerous runaway truck ramps designed to prevent just such a disaster. He apparently passed at least a handful of those ramps without using them and ended up killing 4 people.

    Jail for the rest of his life? Maybe not. But he should be locked up for a good long while IMO; 4 counts of involuntary manslaughter which carries ~5 year sentence, he’s still in jail for 20.

    • EvilSheldon

      This sounds more like a case of malicious prosecution, than of structural problems with the sentencing system.

      • robc

        The question is how to fix the first?

      • EvilSheldon

        Using prosecutors as weed matting, would be a start.

  29. Festus

    I’m out. Day 30 tonight, 3 to go. Have a wonderful, Glibs!

  30. db

    A thought that occurred to me is that the vaccine boosters are a cute little microcosm of the global response to COVID:

    Masks don’t work? MOAR MASKS
    Social distancing doesn’t work? MOAR SOCIAL DISTANCING
    Lockdowns don’t work? MOAR LOCKDOWNS

    Vaccine doesn’t work? MOAR VACCINE BOOSTER

    • Q Continuum

      It hasn’t been about the virus since at least March 2020 (and that’s being generous), it’s about control and demoralization.

      • AlexinCT

        I think they knew that as soon as that first 2 week lockdown we did to flatten the curve ended up doing absolutely nothing like that, and it was certainly the case when they became aware that the Kung Flu was not one of the real fucking deadly strains of shit they had China playing around with…

      • invisible finger

        That’s why I think they were NOT working on a real fucking deadly strain. It’s probably more likely that they were working on some rather innocuous gene therapy coronavirus shit and didn’t take mutations into account. I’d wager the “original” strain that caused the panic in early 2020 was at least the 4th mutation that surprised them (“them” being the Chinese and Western researchers working together) with its ability to spread rapidly. I’m not ruling out malice, but arrogance and incompetence are more typical.

      • juris imprudent

        I’m not ruling out malice, but arrogance and incompetence are more typical.

        ^^^ This.

    • PieInTheSky

      Among people I know if I said Masks don’t work it would be blasphemy

      • AlexinCT

        DON’T DISMISS MY MAGICAL TALISMAN!

    • AlexinCT

      He should have also said she wants to bring in her hot friends for him to fuck to make it more Penthouse Letters worthy…

    • Animal

      The “bored housewife” thing is really just an interesting psychological phenomenon. The summer after I graduated college, I had five months before I had to report back to the Army, so I worked as a pest control/termite inspector for Orkin that summer.

      I got laid on the job more than James Bond, and that’s no shit.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of savvy investors

    House Speaker Nancy Pelosi scoffed Wednesday at the idea of banning congressional lawmakers and their spouses from owning shares of individual companies, despite the possibilities for conflicts of interest between their legislative duties and personal finances.

    “No,” Pelosi, D-Calif., told reporters at a news conference where she was asked whether she would support such a prohibition.

    “We’re a free market economy,” she said. “They should be able to participate in that.”

    Pelosi’s dismissal of the idea of a stock purchase ban came in response to a question about a Business Insider investigative report this week on share ownership by lawmakers, and after controversies over stock purchases by a number of senators since the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic.

    The Business Insider series found that 49 members of Congress and 182 senior-level congressional staffers had violated the so-called STOCK Act, which requires public disclosure by themselves and family members within 45 days of sales or purchases of individual stocks, bonds and commodity futures.

    “Free market economy” you say?

    You might oughtta mention that to President Ballgag next time you see him.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Walter Shaub, former director of the U.S. Office of Government Ethics, blasted Pelosi’s reference to the “free market economy” in the first of a series of tweets about the lack of a ban on stock ownership by lawmakers.

    “It’s a ridiculous comment!” Shaub wrote. “She might as well have said ‘let them eat cake.’ Sure, it’s a free-market economy. But your average schmuck doesn’t get confidential briefings from government experts chock full of nonpublic information directly related to the price of stocks.”

    In another tweet, Shaub wrote, “In an objective world, free of politics, members of Congress would be mocked for the absurdly weak ethics rules they’ve written for themselves.”

    Just doing their jobs, crybaby.

    • The Other Kevin

      This is exactly why I’m against any type of “election reform”. They would be writing their own rules.

    • rhywun

      Heh. I hope they dock his paycheck the 1.5 seconds to cover for it.

      • Sensei

        The top end ones are expensive. Maybe like 5 seconds or so of Brady money.

      • rhywun

        The top end ones are expensive.

        I know – I was figuring that in.

      • Not Adahn

        somewhat related: I bought my parents a Surface years ago so they could simultaneously watch TV and play solitaire. They forgot the password they set soon thereafter and have decided they want to give it back to me. I’m assuming there’s got to be some way of rendering it usable?

      • Nephilium

        Factory reset should take care of that. The steps to do that are probably model dependent. If nothing else, you could also build a Windows installation jumpdrive, boot from that, and wipe the device.

        /always puts an Admin account on devices I give to people for just this reason.

  33. LJW

    Leftist millennial wins election as Chile’s next president

    “Boric’s ambitious goal is to introduce a European-style social democracy that would expand economic and political rights to attack nagging inequality without veering toward the authoritarianism embraced by so much of the left in Latin America, from Cuba to Venezuela.”

    That’s what they always say…

    Granted José Antonio Kast wasn’t a great choice either, but Chile has just elected their downfall.

    • PieInTheSky

      meh they get what they want

      • PieInTheSky

        I mean this in the silly context of muh democracy, because sensible people do not get what they want, they get what the mindless mob wants

      • db

        For some values of “they.”

    • db

      ambitious goal … without veering toward the authoritarianism

      Sure. Sure it is…

      I don’t think we’ll have long to wait to find out how this goes.

      • PieInTheSky

        You would be amazed to find out that most authoritarian lefties in history were right down libertarian socialists in the writings before spending a couple of months in power

    • rhywun

      nagging inequality

      Goodness, we can’t have that.

    • juris imprudent

      Well the question will be, who does he disappoint? His rabid support on the left, or the moderates he had to appeal to in order to win?

  34. LJW

    “Here comes the shitstorm. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a wild ride in 2022”

    Media just ignoring the fact that South Africa is at a 7 day average of 20k new cases and 30 deaths. Last December they had a 7 day average of 19k new cases and 575 deaths. Omicron is nothing to worry about.

    • Sensei

      I’d say that for somebody healthy you could be in store for 3 days of misery followed by a week or so of feeling like crap.

      In normal days meaning you might miss one or two days of work kind of illness.

      • Nephilium

        Don’t know which variant I had, but the timeline was in the afternoon started to feel crappy, took the next day off of work and slept most of the day. Four days after that I lost my sense of smell and taste, while feeling fine otherwise. About a week after that, the sense of smell and taste came back.

        Never got a positive result on a test though.

      • Sensei

        Similar experiences with a friend and his family.

        His wife and two kids tested positive, but he never tested positive (home tests) despite being sick as well.

      • Timeloose

        Verbatum for me and my entire family who each had a rare break through infection. We all got a positive quick test after the first week and a few PCR confirmations. Th e only other item I had was a intense sinus infection prior to and during my loss of taste and smell.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    I find such characterizations concerning

    Democrats, stunned and angry at Sen. Joe Manchin’s move Sunday to knife the Build Back Better Act, are struggling to determine whether President Joe Biden’s signature legislation can be salvaged in a smaller form.

    Based on remarks by Manchin, D-W.Va., some lawmakers see a glimmer of hope that the roughly $2 trillion bill could still be restructured to meet his demands, albeit with painful sacrifices.

    Knifed? Like, in the back?

    • Tres Cool
      • Tres Cool

        “Yeah, but if you ain’t quite ready, I’ll make sure everything is a little bit nicer ’cause
        I’m gonna get a little talcum
        I’m gonna borrow it from Malcolm”

        I always loved that line.

        And The Nug said he never did drugs….

    • Count Potato

      It doesn’t make sense that the recipient of the lap dance is the only one who gets in trouble, when she was the one who initiated it.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        If he was in charge of the party then he bears responsibility for what happens.

        The real tell is if the sexes were reversed what would happen.

      • Count Potato

        “If he was in charge of the party then he bears responsibility for what happens.”

        How much control does the host have over the actions of his guests?

        I’m guessing if he threw her out for lewd behavior, he would have been accused of being sexist or something.

  36. Sensei

    With 10 days to go Nikola finally gets two functional prototypes to partner.

    Nikola Delivers First Nikola Tre Battery-Electric Trucks

    “Nikola committed to make its first Tre BEV deliveries in Q4 2021 and it is a big honor to celebrate this milestone with our partner, TTSI, and dignitaries who are committed to advancing zero-emission transportation solutions to reduce truck emissions in port operations

    Pay no attention to the lawsuits, failed deals and the video of the motorless truck coasting down a hill.

    • PieInTheSky

      they should sell NFTs

      • juris imprudent

        Sounds like that is what the stock essentially is.

    • CPRM

      up to 350 miles (563 km) of range in an undisclosed test cycle

      top speed of 75 mph

      DC fast charging: 10-80% SOC in 120 minutes at up to 240 kW

      at 75mph you can travel 350 miles in 4.6 hours, then you have to charge for at least 2hrs…efficient?

  37. PieInTheSky

    NYU Is Top-Ranked—In Loans That Alumni and Parents Struggle to Repay
    By many measures, the elite Manhattan school is the worst or among the worst for leaving families and graduate students drowning in debt; ‘It feels like I’m kind of trapped’

    https://www.wsj.com/articles/nyu-college-graduate-parent-student-loans-11639618241

    Five months after Kassandra Jones earned her master’s in public health from New York University in May 2019, she still hadn’t landed a job in the field. She was staring down a six-figure student-loan balance and had to pay for rent and food.

    So she sold her eggs. Again.

    Ms. Jones first harvested her eggs before starting at NYU in 2017 to help pay for moving to the city, she said. She received a $12,500 annual scholarship and relied on $131,000 in federal loans to cover the rest of her tuition and expenses. She has given her eggs five times, including to an NYU fertility clinic, earning $50,000.

    Now 28 years old, Ms. Jones is working freelance on public-health campaigns for nonprofits making about $1,500 a month, which isn’t covering her living expenses, she said. She is applying for new jobs and considering leaving the field.

    • Tundra

      Hmmm.

      My son got a job offer a couple weeks ago. He starts as soon as he graduates. Of course, he won’t be ‘elite’ like that chick. No master’s. Just a lowly MechE.

      With a good job.

      • PieInTheSky

        He should pay more taxes so that the government can give miss Kassandra Jones a good job in public health

      • WTF

        He should pay more taxes so that the government can give miss Kassandra Jones student load forgiveness.

      • PieInTheSky

        it can be both

      • Fatty Bolger

        My landlord’s kid graduated a few years with a state college engineering degree and did the same.

        My daughter’s friend did the same with a degree in statistics, same thing.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Good on your son. Amazing how that works.

    • Not Adahn

      WTF would anyone name their kid Cassandra?

      • juris imprudent

        Someone who intended to ignore the kid’s warnings?

    • invisible finger

      Predatory universities.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      One of my son’s friends goes to NYU majoring in journalism. She’s in for a rude awakening when she gets to the real world.

  38. Surly Knott

    A short history of the care of preemies.

    • robc

      Free market 7000, medical system 0.

  39. Tundra

    Good morning, Sloop!

    Lots o’ doom and gloom in those lynx, son.

    But there was this:

    The World Economic Forum announced Monday that it would delay its annual meeting in Davos, Switzerland — scheduled for January 17-21 — until early summer because of uncertainty over the Omicron outbreak.

    The only thing better would be a meteor strike when they do meet in person.

    • invisible finger

      They are uncertain there will be enough servants to wait on them hand and foot.

      • Count Potato

        The servants will wear masks. They won’t.

  40. UnCivilServant

    Management: Please attend this status meeting.

    Also Management: And don’t forget to attend this other meeting at the exact same time.

    Also Also Management: Why are you so distracted in our meetings?

    • AlexinCT

      Tell them you are thinking of various fun scenarios where horrible accidents occur to them and free you of their stupidity

    • Sensei

      Dial in via phone and conference call the two meetings together.

      Should be entertaining to see what happens.

  41. Rat on a train

    The Washington Football Team hopes it can force Virginia taxpayers to pay for a stadium.

    The first step in Virginia would be a bill to expand the purview of the Virginia Baseball Stadium Authority to include oversight of a football facility. Typically under such authorities, officials would create a district and dedicate some or all of the new revenue generated within it — such as from sales or hotel taxes — to construction of the stadium or related infrastructure.

    No state funds. Put in in Arlington or Fairfax. They deserve each other.

    • AlexinCT

      Fuck them for caving to the woke mob. I hope the citizens tell them to go suck donkey dick.

    • juris imprudent

      I will personally pay for the stadium, when Snyder lets me piss in his mouth.

    • creech

      “The Washington Leeches” would be a good new name for the team.

    • Plisade

      I didn’t even know they were still around. From their website,

      “We will be the bridge between the CEO’s who lead the world’s corporations and the new world of cryptocurrencies.”

      And to think I used to buy electronic components at their actual stores when designing circuit boards back in the day. Well, if they’re going to be a bridge, they need to tone down the tech-speak. I have no idea what they’re talking about on their home page.

  42. The Other Kevin

    Covid update: My daughter is doing fine and her quarantine ends tomorrow. Meanwhile we went to dinner with friends who had a mild case and just finished their quarantine. Their families have uninvited them from all holiday festivities because they are unvaccinated. That’s the first I’ve heard of this sort of thing in real life.

    • invisible finger

      What part of Illinois do their retarded families live in?

      • The Other Kevin

        Strangely enough, it’s all in Indiana. And even stranger, our unvaccinated friends are Trump-hating lefties.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Now you’re just making this all up.

    • AlexinCT

      I am leaving in a couple of days for a tropical vacation with my Minnesoda girl, and she was crying last night and trying to convince me that if I cared about her I would go take the booster. I told her I thought it was best she cancels her trip cause she is too worried about this stuff and she shouldn’t be. Man she freaked out when I told her I am going to go regardless of if she comes along and I am NOT getting another booster because the thing was just another useless play promoted by people with a political agenda…

      Eventually she realized she was not going to make me change my mind and she backed down when I destroyed her argument by pointing out that if she feels she is entitled to get mad at me if she ends up getting the Kung Flu – because of me not getting that third jab – I am sure as hell entitled to some serious payback if she gets it and gives it to me (and my payback involved some real kinky shit she would be doing).

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I’m on day 12 and still testing positive. The nurse at work says I am fine, and that I’ve served 10 days with improved symptoms so I am good to go. Boss is uncomfortable and wants me to work from home until i can test negative (which I get, she is immunocompromised and I don’t want to make her uncomfortable).

      • Tres Cool

        I think Im on day 11, and my temp seems to be back in normal-ish range. I have 1 self-test left that Im saving for when Im sure the fever is gone.
        I feel better in general, just incredible fatigue, which is likely due to living on Boost! and Ensure shakes for the past week or so.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I’ve been fine since last Monday/Tuesday except my smell and taste have been gone for over a week now 🙁

      • The Other Kevin

        You can test positive long after you’ve recovered. It’s rare, but some people will produce a positive test even months later. It just means there are bits of the virus that haven’t worked their way out of your system.

        Which is another reason why testing like this is pretty useless.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      My sister and her husband won’t allow their son’s girlfriend in the house because she’s unvaccinated. My brother in law is 75 and has diabetes, so I can understand being cautious, but he’s had his booster. Either it works or it doesn’t. Of course, maybe they just don’t like the girlfriend.

    • PieInTheSky

      Amazon is responsible for the global; warming causing the tornadoes and making the driver drive so double evil

    • Gustave Lytton

      Was the dispatcher threatening the driver an agent of Amazon? Because I’ve seen this from the other side where contracted work is treated and directed as if they were an employee of the main company, not the contractor. Along with performance standards that coerce the contract company to do exactly what the main company wants or lose the contract.

      • Sensei

        That’s a great question. Who employs the dispatcher?

        Amazon only discussed who employed the driver.

  43. Count Potato

    “DCPS investigates after elementary students say they were forced to reenact Holocaust

    In a letter sent to parents at Watkins Elementary School in Southeast, the principal says according reports he received, the re-enactment included “students being asked to portray participants from the Holocaust like Adolf Hitler, digging ditches to serve as mass graves, and simulated shootings. It was also alleged that the staff member leading the lesson also made anti-Semitic statements.”

    https://www.fox5dc.com/news/dcps-investigates-after-elementary-students-say-they-were-forced-to-reenact-holocaust

    “The student assigned to the role of Hitler is Jewish, according to a parent, The Washington Post reported. The child, The Post said, was told to pretend to commit suicide, as Hitler did.”

    https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/20/us/holocaust-librarian-elementary-school.html

    • Count Potato

      “Mr. Berkowitz, who did not immediately respond to a message late Sunday, did not release the staff librarian’s name in his email. A spokesman for District of Columbia Public Schools also did not confirm the name. But parents, including one whose child was in the class, identified the woman as Kimberlynn Jurkowski, who, according to her LinkedIn profile, has been a library specialist with the school district since 2014.

      Ms. Jurkowski did not respond to a message sent via social media, and calls to several numbers listed for her were not answered.

      This was not Ms. Jurkowski’s first run-in with a school district. She was convicted in October 2013 of defrauding the Hamilton Township School District, in New Jersey, of nearly $24,000 in a tutoring scam, according to The Press of Atlantic City, a local newspaper. The district, according to the newspaper, paid for tutoring for Ms. Jurkowski’s two children, but she and the tutor continued to bill the district for several months after the tutoring stopped.

      The report said she cooperated with the state and entered an intervention program, which is typically for first-time offenders and usually ends with the removal of a conviction from a person’s record.

      A spokesman for D.C.P.S. did not respond to a question about whether the district was aware of Ms. Jurkowski’s prior troubles.”

    • Count Potato

      “The instructor allegedly made antisemitic comments during the reenactment. The parent said that when the children asked why the Germans did this, the staff member said it was “because the Jews ruined Christmas.”

      The instructor asked students after the reenactment not to tell anyone about it, but they told their homeroom teacher, the parent said.”

      https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/2021/12/19/holocaust-reenactment-watkins-school-dc/

      • Tulip

        If you’re asking children not to tell, you obviously know you’re in the wrong.

      • Ozymandias

        This is an all-time great line:

        “The parent said that when the children asked why the Germans did this, the staff member said it was ‘because the Jews ruined Christmas.’”

        Holy shit. I can’t stop laughing about this. You’d swear reality has become a Coen brothers movie.

      • Tres Cool

        We can at least give them credit for giving us Easter.

      • Ozymandias

        The Coen brothers? Hunh, no kidding?
        I’m familiar with most of their work, but not “Easter” in particular.

      • Tres Cool

        You know I meant (((them))).

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Southeast DC?

      I’d be willing to bet that a significant percentage of the teachers in that district think Farrakhan is correct about the Jews.

      • juris imprudent

        I looked because that was my first thought as well. Appears to be gentrifying inner SE – on the good side of the Anacostia.

      • Count Potato

        Kimberlynn Jurkowski is black, if that makes any difference.

    • creech

      It’s gotta be tough to be a history teacher these days, and maybe it always was. Ignore the Shoah and (((they’ll))) accuse you of being a denier or something.
      Teach about pogroms, and it will – justifiably – upset some kids. Yesterday, my 8 1/2 yr. old granddaughter asked me to take her on a tour of Gettysburg next year. How to explain the slaughter, men killing each other over enslaving other human beings or not being able to choose which government to federalize with? Kids need to learn about the past but many are not yet mature enough to deal with gas chambers, suicide charges, and evil assholes like Stalin and Hitler. Maybe teaching us that Abe split logs and George threw coins across the river are how teachers used to deal with history?

    • Gustave Lytton

      digging ditches to serve as mass graves

      Bringing back voc-Ed to the classroom. Going to need this skill if things continue.

    • Not Adahn

      Christmas fixtures? Like reindeer faucets?

    • rhywun

      I’m OK if they just cancel the rest of this farcical season and isolate for a few months.

  44. hayeksplosives

    From reading the linked articles and their accompanying rabbit-hole articles, I’m forced to conclude that it’s high time for a Cleansing.

    Let the natural selection begin.

    • Sean

      All hail ZARDOZ!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I just hover over them and move on to the comments, AM links are always depressing,
      SMOD in’22!

    • Tundra

      I think it has.

    • Not Adahn

      I thought as a Spaniard, Hilaria had diplomatic immunity?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Boy, she hitched her wagon to the wrong horse. And she is most certainly a golddigger.

        You know she’s looking for an exit right about now. I wonder how ironclad that prenup is.

    • PieInTheSky

      I thought it was Hillary

    • creech

      “Oh, that phone? I think it is the one that fell overboard when I was out in my yacht the other day.”

      • Tres Cool

        Honestly, I was thinking the same thing.
        If I was in his situation, that phone would be gone.

  45. PieInTheSky

    Robby Soave
    @robbysoave
    I’ll be debating the brilliant @JonHaidt
    on the resolution “The federal government should increase its efforts to reduce the harms caused by social media.” Event is February 17th in New York City. Get tickets here:

    Jonathan Haidt
    @JonHaidt
    I will be using a great journalist, @robbysoave
    , to help me improve my arguments about the effects of social media. I can guarantee it will be good natured, fast-paced, and fun. In NYC, Feb 17, Omicron-willing.

    great and brilliant… right…

    • Not Adahn

      How DARE you question their lived experiences! They are speaking their truth, you bigot!

      • Gender Traitor

        Read that at first as “livid experiences,” but then realized you weren’t referring to progs or feminists.

    • Lackadaisical

      Who is going to be on which side? >.>;

    • Ozymandias

      Yes, but it’s those right wing loons and conspiracy theorists that need to go, CP.
      C’mon, let’s be real here.

    • Penguin

      The Chinese paid $4.4 million to an AM station to air propaganda in 2021?

      And I thought our government wasted money.

      • juris imprudent

        No shit, the networks do it for free.

      • rhywun

        Yeah I was wondering how much the CCP is paying CNN, MSNBC, NPR, ….

      • Penguin

        Our colleges charge for it.

  46. Fourscore

    “San Francisco Might Have at Least 30 Unconfirmed Omicron Cases”

    Science at it’s best.

    • rhywun

      zOMG this may or may not be the end of the world!!1!

    • Not Adahn

      Can you prove they don’t? Can you?!?!

  47. Scruffy Nerfherder

    In regards to the Elon tax kerfuffle, let’s not forget that corporations are barely more than tax collection agencies in modern America.

    Sales tax, payroll tax, property taxes, capital equipment tax… the list goes on and on.

    If the corporations were not collecting those funds for the government, the government would have to do it itself and they would suddenly have a real problem on their hands.

  48. Certified Public Asshat

    i had three moderna, with a booster of 100 because i got mine first week. I am very lucky and i am as concerned AS EVER for those who are not vaccinated…— Jim Cramer (@jimcramer) December 20, 2021

    Another authoritarian tests positive.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Cramer is nothing more than a paid shill who should be treated with the according amount of credibility and respect.

    • Plisade

      Hmmm… admit the experiment has failed, or keep the lie going forever? Such a tough choice.

  49. Scruffy Nerfherder

    formulaic TV creator Dick Wolf

    I really hate that guy. He’s indoctrinated an entire generation into believing the when cops and prosecutors abuse their power it’s a good thing.

    • kinnath

      Not in the beginning. Law and Order was brilliant when it started. Sam Waterston was the beginning of the end. The follow-on series were clusterfucks.

    • Fatty Bolger

      It means he gets results, you stupid chief!

    • CPRM

      The character Big Satan in my favorite web comic was a band called Dick Wolf.

    • rhywun

      why [does] Tottenham have to pay for this?

      Stamping your feet isn’t going to make the stupid rules go away.

      Maybe direct your ire at them.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I’m okay with that though, and I have a feeling that despite what they say, they are actually happy to get out of the JV freshman Europe competition.

  50. Count Potato

    “This is the mortal wound to Biden’s presidency. He was elected to stop covid. He blamed deaths on the last guy. He said he would shut it down.

    The fact we’re even discussing Joe Manchin & BBB while we’re debating the virus and more lockdowns is his failure. It’s that simple.”

    https://twitter.com/redsteeze/status/1472775388736614400

    “More Americans have died of COVID in 2021 than 2020, even though Biden had the benefit of universally available vaccines and improved treatments.

    Fortunately for Biden, all 2020 COVID deaths were blamed personally on the president but none in 2021 is.”

    https://twitter.com/ggreenwald/status/1472922067418951682

    • Urthona

      Also did you read the latest on Manchin? Sounds like the Biden administration really mishandled their relationship with him. Just another major failure for the guy.

      • Sensei

        Articles I’ve read suggested Manchin was quite clear what he was able to vote for.

        I, and it appears the WH, didn’t actually think he would stick to his guns. The difference is the WH was able to actually have a conversation with him to determine his conviction.

    • invisible finger

      2020…2021…, There is one constant in all of this but we’re not supposed to mention Dr. Farici’s name.

  51. B.P.

    Reasons given for dim prospects in that article about the economy going to shit:

    “Soaring cases of the Omicron variant in Europe and the United States are already slamming businesses and forcing governments to tighten restrictions on activity at a critical time of year for the leisure and retail industries. And the prospects for the US economy dimmed after Democrat Sen. Joe Manchin said he would oppose the Biden administration’s $1.75 trillion “Build Back Better” bill.”

    • Urthona

      Sounds legit.

      And the previous two multi trillion dollar packages congress passed are gonna start dispersing their economic benefits any minute now too.

  52. Scruffy Nerfherder

    And with this, there should be no further argument for continuing the vaccines.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Vaccination status unknown provides the best protection.

    • Count Potato

      Three things here. “Cases” are bullshit. It just means a test was positive.

      Vaccinated people might be more likely to get tested. It makes sense that the same people concerned enough to get vaccinated would also be concerned to get tested, and the same people forced to get vaccinated by their employer or to be able to travel, would also be forced to get tested. More tests, more cases.

      The third thing is that the vaccines still could help prevent serious illness, even if they don’t prevent “cases”. I’m not saying they do, but that graph doesn’t show they don’t.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        If your assumption about testing were true, what changed in the last couple of weeks?

      • invisible finger

        The weather?

      • Count Potato

        That too.

      • Count Potato

        Omicron could be causing both a higher percentage of positive tests and more people getting tested.

      • grrizzly

        The chart shows that the fully vaccinated are more likely to spread covid than the unvaccinated. If you test positive then you can spread it. This is my message to the vaccinated.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        But you would expect the ratio of positive tests in the vaccinated to the unvaccinated to remain fairly constant. That behavior won’t shift dramatically in such a short period.

        Therefore, it’s pretty safe to assume that at best the vaccines are useless against Omicron, and at worst the vaccines are making people more susceptible to the virus (ADE or compromised immune systems).

  53. Ed Wuncler

    My wife and I were asked to be boosted before going to Cleveland for the holidays because of the Omricon (whatever the fuck it is) variant. My wife is doing it but I made it clear, I’m not taking a booster. Her family bitched and moaned that I take the vaccine this past summer and I did because I didn’t want my wife to miss out on the family trip. But this time, I took a fucking stand and told them that it would be no sweat off my back if I didn’t have to drive 6 hours from Chicago to Cleveland for the holidays. They backed down for the time being because my in laws wanted to see the kids and knew that I would nuclear over this shit.

    And also LOL at the Dems for not getting what they wanted, even though they told everyone that they have a fucking mandate. Despite having a super slim majority in the Senate. How do you Democracy now, assholes?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      See my post just above.

      • CPRM

        The head crotch link?

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Good for you, Ed. Enough is enough.

      • Ed Wuncler

        They are good people and I hate to go nuclear like this but they are drinking the COVID kool-aid like water in the desert and I have no desire to join in their insanity,

    • CPRM

      Call them either racist or racist Uncle Toms, depending on their race.

    • Drake

      Does anyone like her?

      • Penguin

        Willie Brown. Maybe.

  54. Ownbestenemy

    Another day at the DMV. Teen#2 waiting to take his test. He is the better of the two teen drivers but is getting in his own head.

    • CPRM

      Flexible.

  55. Sean

    https://www.rt.com/news/543748-claims-macron-wife-transgender/

    LOL

    Emmanuel Macron’s wife has found herself under a barrage of online claims that she is transgender, born as a male, with the media pointing the finger at far-right conspiracy theorists.

    Amid speculation over her gender that has taken the Francophone section of Twitter by storm this week, Brigitte Macron is going to file a complaint, according to French media citing people from her inner circle. However, she is yet to make an official comment on the matter.

    • Tundra

      That’s a MAN, baby!

    • Sensei

      I’m confused just who the dick is here.

    • rhywun

      Wait a minute. He is 43. And she is 68?!

      Something’s going on here whether she’s a tranny or not.

      Alex Jones, claimed that Michelle Obama, the wife of the 44th US president, “appears to have a very large penis” and also “looks like a tr*nny.”

      LOL good times. Or, “t*mes”. WTF?

  56. Tulip

    Ah, vacation. It’s cloudy and chilly here in ‘sunny’ Florida. This morning I made bacon and eggs and went for a long walk on the gorgeous, powdery, white sand beach until my leg muscles were screaming. Then I picked up brochures to plan the rest of my week. Now, time for a nap.

    • Tundra

      I’m jelly. But I’ll be on a plane in exactly a week.

      Enjoy!

  57. Tundra

    I think it was JI that turned me on to Doomberg. It’s my new favorite substack (even though it’s terrfying).

    California Ditzkrieg

    Sure, shut down the nuke plants, geniuses.

  58. Tulip

    Ooh, Gingerbread contests on food network!

  59. l0b0t

    Bill McClintock does it again – The Thrash-tations – “Hello From Cloud Nine”

    https://youtu.be/rX40Zfjh_Wc