Sunday Morning Post-Christmas Links Post

by | Dec 26, 2021 | Daily Links | 167 comments

Well, we had fun working yesterday. Derelicts drifting in and out, and someone (won’t mention any names) hitting the bottle between orders. A little post-closing gathering with WebDom and Metalface completed the destruction. It’s Sunday and my (((hair))) hurts.

You figure that December 26 has to be one of the worst days to be born on- you still get screwed out of birthday presents (“These are for Christmas AND your birthday!”) but your DOB isn’t memorable. However, that didn’t stop a guy whose motto was, “Vive la difference!”; a guy who was most famous for beating up on little guys; a guy who proved that even dirty books can be dull; a guy who actually WAS worse than Hitler; a terrific actor even smaller than Rod Serling; a career piece of shit who left behind an even smellier piece of shit; a guy who started something big; a pitcher who actually lost a no-hitter, got blown off the mound in one game (and threw comically slowly); a guy who should have gotten prison for his production; and an answer to the riddle, “How bad a politician do you have to be to get removed in California?”

Anyway, enough blasphemy. Links.

 

Another fame-seeking anti-semite snuffs it. I wish Christopher Hitchens had lived longer and done a bio on him to match his encomium to Mother Teresa.

 

Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl, someday I’m gonna make her mine.

 

Y’know, sometimes it’s best just to avoid shitholes. 

 

I soooo picked the wrong field.

 

If Cedric Bouchard didn’t lead this list, this list is bullshit.

 

Christ, what an asshole.

 

“You killed a kid. Have a paid vacation, you poor thing.”

 

Old Guy Music is a special treat. And a lesson in things not always being what they appear…

 

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

167 Comments

  1. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Morning all.

    I hate champagne. Never understood the appeal.

    • Ted S.

      Yeah, and it’s carbonated.

      • Fourscore

        Sparkling eply

    • PieInTheSky

      It works with oysters

    • Not Adahn

      It tastes like cherry cola.

      • Chafed

        +1 Lola

    • KSuellington

      It pairs well with hookers and blow.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I used to think the same until I had a bottle of top shelf champers. Then I understood.

      • KSuellington

        Absolutely, I don’t know if I would consider Veauve Cliqot top shelf, but it’s certainly top shelf adjacent and is some really nice stuff. I’m not going to drink it but for special occasions, but champagne is lovely for a toast (and does pair nicely with raw oysters).

  2. slumbrew

    That music link…

    You are a monster

    • Aloysious

      It made me go blind

      ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

  3. Stinky Wizzleteats

    An hour of today’s old guy music would land me in the nuthouse and now the doo doo doo doo doo is stuck in my head.

  4. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Getting ready to drive the family over an hour to get my son to the service he plays pipe organ for. Everyone is cranky and I just want to drink my coffee in peace.

  5. Ted S.

    If Cedric Bouchard didn’t lead this list, this list is bullshit.

    I don’t get the point of “investing” in single bottles of fine wine.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It looks cool in your basement “wine cellar”

      • Ted S.

        Either you’re supposed to drink the stuff, or it goes bad.

    • PieInTheSky

      I age wine so i have good stuff to drink myself to death later on

      • Ghostpatzer

        I drink vinegar. That’s aged wine, right?

      • PieInTheSky

        For UCS level palate sure

  6. Gender Traitor

    I been _____rolled! ? (No spoiler.)

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That reminds me of the corporate VP who got rolled by a hooker in Costa Rica then came into the factory and tried to blame somebody there for stealing his wallet so he had an alibi for his wife.

      • Fourscore

        “who got rolled by a hooker”

        Every GI bar from Germany to Viet Nam

        /Fourscore remembers

      • Sean

        You were a hooker?

      • Fourscore

        Nah, I was a hookee

      • PieInTheSky

        Should have come to Romania all our hookers are honest

      • Ted S.

        I thought all your hookers left for Western Europe.

        Or do you get hookers from Moldova?

      • PieInTheSky

        Many left not all. We get plenty from Moldova. Though the best ones often move west quickly…

      • Not Adahn

        I’m wearing a shirt made in Romania. I assume it’s the Bangladesh of the EU.

      • PieInTheSky

        Not really… There is a bunch of ugh the local word is lohn no idea how to translate basically not under own brand… stuff done but not at bangladesh levels

      • Ted S.

        I’m reminded of this.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Actually funny Simpsons…the ‘90s truly were a different time.

  7. Ghostpatzer

    Old Guy music really hit the spot. I’m m trying to come up with a suitable punishment.

    • westernsloper

      Give him Covid.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Not nearly cruel enough. Ebola?

    • Old Man With Candy

      While I was putting this together sitting at a table in the front of our shop, our They/Them walked by and exclaimed, “Why are you looking up images of Rick Astley? Are you trying to rickroll someone???” I smiled and replied, “Exactly the opposite.” Them looked puzzled, then shook they’s head and walked away, clearly thinking, “The Old Man is really showing the signs.”

      • Gender Traitor

        The whole stupid pronoun thing reminds me – you should insist that any of your employees who engage in that nonsense address you in the second person as “thou” or “thee” and make up arbitrary rules about when they should use which one.

      • Ted S.

        Pick a language with a bunch of cases and make them decline the pronoun properly.

      • rhywun
      • Old Man With Candy

        Them is the best employee we have, and seriously an absolute delight to be around.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        “We have met the enemy, and Them is Us.”

      • robodruid

        AF just embraced this, i am trying to figure out how to have “Graff Spee/Pritz Eugen/Bizmark”

  8. Not Adahn

    At the park. It’s been ten minutes band still within five yards of the entrance because Daisy and Callie insist on tussling.

    • Sensei

      That’s an old one. Still good, however.

  9. PieInTheSky

    Another fame-seeking anti-semite snuffs it.

    Just antizionist dontchaknow

  10. PieInTheSky

    It is boxing day and tradition requires any good glib to make some small gift to one’s orphans

    • CPRM

      I thought it meant you made your orphans participate in a boxing tournament, to the death.

      • PieInTheSky

        Well not all of us can afford to waste orphans like that. Check you privilege

    • Not Adahn

      On festive occasions, I add powdered milk to their gruel.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Trying to bring Jesus into politics kind of misses the point.

  11. PieInTheSky

    Another local wine store made a deal with some winemakers to make a special wine for the store under their own label. Had a bottle for christmas and now i need to figure out how to tell the owner i did not really like it because he is eager for a review

    • Old Man With Candy

      “It’s the sort of thing you’ll like if you like that sort of thing.”

      • PieInTheSky

        it was drinkable but… rustic lets say and unbalanced in flavor

    • Gender Traitor

      All purpose positive review for a bad wine: “Pours well.”

      • CPRM

        Wet on the palette.

      • Old Man With Candy

        The end of an actual published review of mine: “But in the interests of fairness to those who might be offended by my frank opinions, I should note that the bottle was nice and dark brown colored, the label was pasted on straight, and all the words were spelled right.

      • Sean

        Freddie Mercury?

    • westernsloper

      “I think they filtered my bottle through old gym socks.”

      • The Hyperbole

        “like a cat pissed on a gooseberry bush”

      • PieInTheSky

        ah a sauvignion blanc man

      • PieInTheSky

        ehm no?

      • creech

        I know Pennsylvania is absolutely littered.

    • Sensei

      “Not to my tastes”

    • KSuellington

      The wine was like a Moldovan prostitute, young and rustic, not yet overpriced, not sweet, slightly dry with a nice mouth feel.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    We get plenty from Moldova. Though the best ones often move west quickly…

    Romania is the hooker minor league?

    • PieInTheSky

      well the pay is lower and the dicks longer

    • Old Man With Candy

      Moldova is a place where heterosexual men will end up with neck strain.

    • Not Adahn

      Someday there will be prostitution hipsters.

      “I banged Katya before she was cool. Back when she was working at the Pink Pallace under ‘Julie.'”

  13. Yusef drives a Kia

    I woke up and it was 59 in my house, I set my stat for 74, so I called my Heating guy, and he showed up immediately. He found a short in the high voltage side of the system, wiglling some wires he found the short, and was shocked to find it. every time the gas valve opened it shook the point of connection, making an intermittant short, a hard one to find, and a hard way find it,
    but
    HEAT!
    Mornin’ Glibs!

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      ? ?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Nice! We probably have something similar but it hasn’t manifested as of yet.

    • Tres Cool

      Was the thermostat still thermostat-ing?

      • Fourscore

        Check behind the thermostat

      • Ownbestenemy

        The thermostat is on the inside!

    • Gustave Lytton

      he found the short, and was shocked to find it

      I see what you did there..

    • Timeloose

      That looks like a Five Guys.

    • westernsloper

      Those onions were not cooked near long enough. And WTF, you pre-cook the bacon not the buns. The buns, however, were done correctly if you eat those sort of things.

  14. Timeloose

    Happy Boxing Day! It’s funny to me that Hong Kong celebrates the holiday dedicated to shopping during the chairman’s birthday.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Surprise

    As the omicron surge pummels a pandemic-weary nation, the first antiviral pills for Covid-19 promise desperately needed protection for people at risk of severe disease. However, many people prescribed Pfizer’s or Merck’s new medications will require careful monitoring by doctors and pharmacists, and the antivirals may not be safe for everyone, experts caution.

    The Food and Drug Administration authorized Pfizer’s Paxlovid for mild to moderate Covid in people as young as 12 who have underlying conditions that raise the risk of hospitalization and death from the coronavirus, such as heart disease or diabetes. However, one of the two drugs in the antiviral cocktail could cause severe or life-threatening interactions with widely used medications, including statins, blood thinners and some antidepressants. And the FDA does not recommend Paxlovid for people with severe kidney or liver disease.

    Because of experts’ concerns about the potential side effects of Merck’s molnupiravir, the FDA has restricted its use to adults and only in scenarios in which other authorized treatments, including monoclonal antibodies, are inaccessible or are not “clinically appropriate.”

    It’s a good things doctors don’t just write prescriptions willy nilly for any patient who comes into the office.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      More options are better but, yeah, looks like they need to be careful who they give them to.

      • Ownbestenemy

        If only they took that approach with another treatment they have been giving for almost a year…

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Current monoclonals aren’t useful anymore as the virus has mutated enough to evade them. I would expect a reformulation to be released shortly.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        Like a dog chasing it’s tail.

    • Ghostpatzer

      However, one of the two drugs in the antiviral cocktail could cause severe or life-threatening interactions with widely used medications, including statins, blood thinners and some antidepressants.

      No good for me, then. If only there were some off-label use of existing medications…

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Since it’s a five day course they might be able to just have you lay off those drugs for that time. Still might work.

      • Ghostpatzer

        True dat. I’ll probably be recovered by the time I can actually see a doctor, however. I remember the good old days when doctors made house calls, they had this weird idea that they should take care of the sick.

      • Fourscore

        Even doctors can’t afford the gas.

        “Do you have neighbor that’s sick, too? That way I won’t have to make an extra trip. Do you think you need to go to the hospital, I hate to back haul empty.”

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Statins, ugh. If you want to wreck your health…

      • Gender Traitor

        Words to live by: Avoid all prescription medications that have their own TV commercials.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        The name-brand / generics system is so screwed up.

    • Grummun

      Pfizer’s Paxlovid

      I read this and for some reason I think “paxilon”.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of medicine and such things, I watched (most of) The Hospital last night.

    What an excellent movie. Horrifying then, quaint now.

    *on Pluto

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      That was an odd one. Gave me greater appreciation for what RC Dean does.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “ The left has posted his address on Twitter, his family’s electric company business information, and the names of family members, and encouraged all their minions to harass him.”

      Of course they have. They really are petty and foul people.

      • Ted S.

        Compare this with the treatment Mr. Fauci is getting.

    • westernsloper

      What the trolls really need is a Let’s Go Brandon blimp. What shape should it be? How do you depict a drooling idiot destroying the economy?

      • Tres Cool

        Shame this one’s already been used.

    • mock-star

      I logged in to post about this. They are precisely 472% more interested in this guy and his background than, say, the guy behind the Waukesha massacre. (#science)

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Complicating matters, the drugs that pose interaction risks are widely prescribed to people at the greatest risk from Covid because of other health conditions.

    What? The plague strikes down the youngest and healthiest. That’s the message I get.

  18. Q Continuum

    Boxing day!

    Time to get drunk and watch Commieball!

  19. The Late P Brooks

    A grateful nation heaves a sigh of relief

    Under pressure from U.S. auto safety regulators, Tesla has agreed to stop allowing video games to be played on center touch screens while its vehicles are moving.

    The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says the company will send out a software update over the Internet so the function called “Passenger Play” will be locked and won’t work while vehicles are in motion.

    The move comes one day after the agency announced it would open a formal investigation into distracted driving concerns about Tesla’s video games, some of which could be played while cars are being driven.

    The greatest threat to humanity since chewing cum.

    • Not Adahn

      …I’m not even.

    • Sensei

      Meanwhile Tesla revamped its entire UI into a touch screen muddled mess that requires multiple levels to change HVAC and windshield wipers and the sound system.

      It’s a rolling distraction of ridiculous size. I’m not happy along with most of Reddit.

      The issue is when you buy a car of yesteryear with fixed controls if you didn’t like them you bought another car. Here Elon completely changes your interaction with the car any time he wants and you have no say.

      Best part, as usual, are the fanboys crapping all over anyone who says anything negative.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Current monoclonals aren’t useful anymore as the virus has mutated enough to evade them.

    The real reason for the “pause”?

  21. Ghostpatzer

    The greatest threat to humanity since chewing cum.

    Wut?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s what happens when you eat thickening agents.

    • Aloysious

      Joke I heard from a female coworker: “How do you know if a man has strong swimmers? You have to chew them before you swallow them.”

      • Not Adahn

        …do you have her phone number?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        You people are terrible. Here, dodge this throw pillow.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Fingers no workee even worse than usual today.

    Walk Drive and chew gum” joke ruint.

    *weeps*

  23. Ownbestenemy

    I’ve spent a good portion of my morning trying to determine if this camera really could do what it is showing me.

    https://youtu.be/sMQPDBnogrw

    • l0b0t

      Holy smokes! Saturn looks amazing.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah it does.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    The agency announced Wednesday that it would formally investigate Tesla’s screens after an owner from the Portland, Ore., area filed a complaint when he discovered that a driver could play games while the cars are moving.

    Way to uphold the stereotype, buddy.

  25. l0b0t

    Today’s breakfast – 2 egg-in-the-holes/one-eyed-jacks enrobing sharp cheddar cheese, bacon, and tomato, drizzled with Béarnaise, and served on last night’s ribeye plate so as to absorb the meat juice and butter. The Christmas zoomie is still open and I was gonna cook for the camera but I was all by myself…

    • Ownbestenemy

      Excellent breakfast!

    • Ghostpatzer

      Sounds yummy!

    • Tres Cool

      How long is Zoom going to be open?
      I may pop-in after I drop Jugsy at the airport.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Until someone ends it. Neph started an open Zoom with no moderation or waiting room.

    • Ted S.

      Don’t want to be all by yourself?

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Tesla owner Vince Patton, 59, filed the complaint last month after discovering the gaming feature could be played by drivers. Patton, who loves his car and says he has nothing against Tesla, worries that drivers will play games and become dangerously distracted. “Somebody’s going to get killed,” he said. “It’s absolutely insane.”

    Okay, Karen.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I bet he’s really proud of himself now.

  27. Not Adahn

    someone (won’t mention any names) hitting the bottle between orders.

    Never get high on your own supply.

  28. The Other Kevin

    Hope everyone is ok. According to the models, 256% of us should have Omicron today. Tomorrow it goes up to 512%.

    • Tres Cool

      I hate integrals. How long until everyone on earth has it 4X over ?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Talk to me when wecgetvto 64k…cause it will be decades before anyone needs that much omicron.

    • Fourscore

      Need more immigrants, we’re falling behind

  29. Tres Cool

    While you’re sitting there grinning enjoy some pickin’

    Compliments of Leo Kottke.

  30. Ownbestenemy

    Couldn’t post the Bounce Patrol version so we can at least get a good visual of the music link?

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Dystopia, next exit

    When Ford announced that starting in 2023 its cars and trucks would come with Google Maps, Assistant and Play Store preinstalled, CEO Jim Farley called the partnership between his iconic U.S. automaker and the search giant a chance to “reinvent” the automobile — making it an office-on-wheels, with more connectivity than any phone or laptop.

    “We were spending hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of millions every year, keeping up with basically a generic experience that was not competitive to your cellphone,” Farley crowed on CNBC, announcing the six-year deal with the tech giant.

    The deal gave Ford some much-needed cachet and Google a chance to showcase its products for millions of drivers and their passengers. But many tech-industry watchdogs looked at the Ford-Google car of the future with different eyes. They fear that tech companies will soon be doing to cars what they did to phones: Tying their exclusive operating systems to specific products to force out competitors and dominate a huge swath of the global economy.

    Indeed, the smartphone wars are over, and Google and Apple won. Now they — and Amazon — are battling to control how you operate within your car. All three see autos as the next great opportunity to reach American consumers, who spend more time in the driver’s seat than anywhere outside their home or workplace. And automakers, after years of floundering to incorporate cutting-edge technologies into cars on their own, are increasingly eager for Silicon Valley’s help — hoping to adopt both its tech and its lucrative business models where consumers pay monthly for ongoing services instead of shelling out for a product just once.

    Good grief, what a depressing nightmare.

    • Not Adahn

      Yeah, our CEO mentioned a few months back that to offset the slump in sales, carmakers were going to need to monetize the data drivers generated.

    • Sensei

      Yeah, automakers fought Android Auto and CarPlay tooth and nail.

      Given how tech at an automaker works they had no chance of succeeding.

    • Tundra

      *heads over to BaT*

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      How are they going to enforce that?

      • rhywun

        Eagerly?

        Deblasio has been trying to foist this crap on us for years. I don’t know how far it got or if it’s enforced or anything; as an apartment-dweller I’m not paying attention. SCIENCE can go piss off.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Do you have a disposall? I hear they were illegal until ’97.

    • Plinker762

      Coming soon to Washington and Oregon

  32. The Late P Brooks

    “The ride is no longer the point,” said Jim Heffner, a vice president at Cox Automotive Mobility who specializes in autonomous and connected vehicles. “Data is the cornerstone. … Apple and Google and others want to be at the epicenter of that.”

    What the world needs is a robot baby carriage for the masses.

    • Sensei

      It started with putting AM radio in the cars followed by automatic transmissions.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Then drive-ins and drive-thrus.

  33. Grummun

    Hello, Glibs,

    I don’t post much here, mostly because I’m late to most threads (case in point, IFLA will probably drop any minute). I do read most threads, though, and over the years, I feel like I’ve come to know many of you (that is not to say I like you, Mr. “Old Guy Music is a special treat,” that was fucking hateful).

    So, a day late, I wish all of you and (((you))) and [[[you]]] and }}}you{{{ peace and joy and a happy holiday season. and may you be healthy and content in the New Year.

    • Gender Traitor

      Right back atcha, Grummy!

    • Tundra

      Happy New Year, Grumman!

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Handsome avatar!

    • robodruid

      Good to see ya.
      A hopeful better next year

    • Brochettaward

      You can be honest and tell them that you really only come here for The Bro’s Firsts.

      • Grummun

        I like to think that Bro is actually one of }}}them{{{, and is, in truth, great with child*. If that is the case, I wish her to be safely delivered of a healthy baby.

  34. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    And a good morning to the rest of you whacky, yet lovable, miscreants.

    The kids spent the weekend here, even though they only live 20 minutes away. We hung out Christmas Eve, ate and watched Longmire for awhile, got up yesterday and went for a beautiful hike, watched Trading Places, crushed a horseradish/mustard crusted beef tenderloin, opened presents and just had a blast sitting around laughing. I’m lucky.

    I hope you all had a great Christmas.

    And I clicked on the music link – with the sound muted. No ear worms for me!

    • Gender Traitor

      You’re wise beyond your ears.

  35. The Other Kevin

    I saw the Omicron come out of the woods, carrying torches, its eyes glowing, its face contorted with hate. And then Donald Trump called it a “very fine virus”.