Kel-Ven
“We are Kel-Ven, we wish to enter your system, and enter into talks with your kind”
Goddamn it! They are negotiating? “What if we say no?”
“Then we shall wait, you have been misled, consult us, we await your reply”
4 months prior, UEA headquarters
Kit, Seamus and Bob sat at one end of what felt like an endless sea of faces, named but nameless, much like the void in which he inhabited, and the Premier and her xo, sat at the other end, waiting, she began,
“ To the Fletcher Clan, thank you and good tidings from the United Earth Alliance, another prize for us, and an even greater prize! Not just contact but several, one of which is bearing down on our system as we speak, with the intention of destroying us, so, what do You propose to do about this mess you created, Mr. Fletcher?” “After the earlier “troubles” your Clan has created,
You come to us now, hat in hand, expecting the Alliance to help you, Belter scum, all you have done is wreck our economy defending ourselves against the trouble you create.”
Kit speaks
Thank you Madam premier for your eloquent speech, and I admire your candor, but the facts speak for themselves, if not for the Conchos, miners, Mercs and Fletchers, you would be under the heel of slavers, I know you were busy with your CCP/Amazon suck fest, so maybe you were too busy to notice, but the Kel-Ven are coming, we Belters can do a lot, but if we don’t have your assistance, You will be the people who suffer, the Belters will be long gone by then. We are here to help you, we don’t Need Earth anymore, you are no more than a relic of the old days.
I let that sink in.
Premier
“Kit, thank you for seeing me, and for saving Earth’s ass for the last 2 years. We understood what you were doing and tried our best to keep your competition out of the way we thought best. You know the speech was all bluster for public consumption, but here, in private, What the Hell Do We do!!!”
Azkah Supanusapay never blew up, this was odd, normally cool and calculating, I have never seen her bow to pressure until now. “It’s true Kit, our local economy is in shambles and we don’t have the resources to rebuild in time.” Fine I told her, we will send the rocks you need your way, but the guns you build will be under Mercenary Guild control. “NO! Not acceptable! My military would never have it”
I let her know that we will just bring in our own ships to defend Earth, and to hell with the Military. “You wouldn’t” Oh yes, I would. “Madam premier, we have given you an opportunity, I suggest you take it, Humanity will be fine, But Earth is doomed otherwise, now it’s your call”
Seamus
I didn’t get it, we bring in dozens of planetary grade Railships to the Earth L points, purely for defense, and the Locals are actually shooting Nuke filled chemical rockets at us? Do they not get it? They refused the offer and now just want us gone, maybe a Deathwish.
“Kit, I say we high tail it out of here, they don’t want savin’ so let’s save ourselves” I ordered my fleet back to the Cloud, where big guns can operate, shall we say, freely. We spent a lot of time prepping our main Asteroids for the journey to Proxima 6.1, a known habitable planet, with our current tech it may take 50 years, but we planned as best we could, then I got an unusual call from Kit, a Stat! Meeting with all the General staff, you off I go, Mimas bound
Mimas
What Earthers call interference, we call the sound of Space, that pleasant hum of hard radiation crackling against the hull, it makes long distance comms hard, but it makes private talks very private, so we meet there. By now, had gunships at all Anomalies, Mars, Ceres and the others are both ready to fight and ready to leave, or a fighting retreat, we had know idea what to expect until the transmission came in, misled? Talks? So I got the command group together.
“We are Kel-Ven, we wish to enter your system, and enter into talks with your kind”
Goddamn it! They are negotiating? “What if we say no?”
“Then we shall wait, you have been misled, consult us, we await your reply”
And there I was, a 30 year old kid, negotiating for my entire species, thank God for friends.
“Fight now!” “I’ll take the fleet out within 6 hours” Full stop! I want to see what they have to say,
I may have to give out some quick orders so be ready, I know you boys can handle this, “Who you callin’ a boy, Boy?” I looked away from Seamus, embarrassed, he was right, I was a boy in this whole game. “Don’t look down on yourself lad, you are going to save Humanity, now get out there and Lead Us By God!
Us and Them
Since they had transporters, they beamed over to my stateroom, (which I remodeled in beige and Mauve, with granite countertops) and my men and I were floored, they were as human looking as us! What seemed to be the leader spoke first, in perfect unbroken English. “Hello!
fellow Humans! I see you are a bit shocked that we aren’t some tentacled monsters, but the truth is, most of the Galaxy is Human, we destroyed all the octo’s millennia ago.
I am Stev Smit, Commander of this op, and I’m glad you want to join us!” We joined our guest at the Ops table and he continued, “We are called the Ancient Ones, for Humanity has been around longer than any sentient species, and we have conquered or exterminated anyone who crosses us, you happen to be a later experiment like the other planets on the edge, and it seems you have fared well, better than most, for you are the first to drive off the Tuyani, we applaud you” there has to be a catch…
So what do you propose Stiv? “ Very simple Kit, help us chase down the Tuyani and eliminate them, you are the only humans that have done it, we want to know why, they are planet wreckers and leeches, and must be stopped”.
Hold the fuck on Stiv, they said you would rape our system of resources, that You are the bad guy, Who do I believe? What if I just space you now? I want answers NOW!
Truth
Truth? Fine, We built the Tuyani, we used them for long distance recon at first, but they became, capable, and then used the hive mind they had to create more, they are energy suckers, and that’s all they want to do now, they are why we stay away from AI. Your tactics are the only ones that actually work, we want to learn, and ask for your assistance. We won’t wait forever Kit, when they return, they Will do to you, the things they said We would do to you, and they are not nice,
To be continued
And there I was, a 30 year old kid, negotiating for my entire species, thank God for friends.
No pressure.
I put myself in his shoes and thought, oh Shit…
I have no idea what’s going on but thanks for these, bossmang.
One more, this wasn’t supposed to drag out this long, thank you!
I’ve been in a holding pattern, stuck in a boring book on my Kindle (well, it’s not really boring but it’s a re-read so the spirit is not willing) for almost a year (not a mis-print).
I finally broke down and just purchased a couple Expanse books. I did not know the series is officially “done” so it’s time.
What is great about these is you gave a stop gap between Expanse seasons. Like a “what is happening elsewhere in the universe” story
Good Call! I’m working up a brand new story, having nothing to do with space, a very different perspective,
Cheers!
On that note…20 year old at grandma’s given 1 month to get his shit together
Two teens here…6 months to figure out if they are buying a car or fixing the Exploder.
Fix, might be cheaper right now,
Agreed…but they need to put in the work and money
Back in the day, you and I would have done the work, but cars now are a pain to work on so maybe buying a running vehicle is better,
Its an 05. Shocks and tires is all it really needs for road worthy. Windows and AC are a “get to” project.
I never know wtf is going on, but your imagination is truly impressive.
Keep ’em coming!
Thank You Sir, I’ll do my best,
Creativity knows no bounds
Good show, Yusef
🙂 X1000
I have learned that my employees and peers will know if I am unvaccinated because I will have to wear a mask. I am fine with that. I could play off that I wear it for my own issues.
I just remember that I could never ask an employees status unless they were asking for an accommodation and even then I was instructed to go through great lengths to protect their privacy
Megacorp is now requiring masks for all employees at work regardless of vaccination status.
That is why I left GMI, I wasn’t going to be a pariah in my own shop, trust broken Motherfuckers!
Many months ago my boss asked me, offhand, if got pricked and I told him “No” and heard the “tsk tsk” in his voice. I was offended he would even ask that and there’s no way I’m responding if he asks again. I supposed I would be singled out if I chose to return to the office but I am choosing to never return there unless forced.
My boss asked me several months ago and I told him that I wasn’t disclosing my vaccination status. I could see where this was going.
Return to the office is a shit show. Vaxxed plus screening plus testing plus masking. No thank you.
No indication that I’ll be forced back to the office any time soon, but I will force them to fire me first.
My boss is a liberal & true believer but to his credit he said I don’t have to return to the office if I don’t feel like it. Officially, I’m supposed to be there Tu-We-Th but the company doesn’t seem terribly keen on enforcing it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB0aROCl530
So I started the new job, working at the car wash, I’m the only person at the place, I work on the machines, swap them quarters, and make shit happen. It’s not a full time job yet, but you know, Yusef. I brought up the idea of food truck Saturdays and stuff like that, he was impressed. Going to try to fix bay#1 tomorrow, I already know how it all works, simple really,
Weee haa!
Excellent!
That is awesome Bob!
Thank you and K^ it’s a long way from conracting in Cali, but it’s a life, roll on!
On that King of the Hill episode the car wash was a happening place with teenagers and old guys hanging out looking to hook up – maybe you can get that started. Might have to wait for better weather, though.
We had a line all the way to the street, salt and crud you see. The issue was we have a bay down so we can’t move them through fast enough, amazing but true.
Swiss friend, Ex, and I went to a drag show at a place called the Gay 90’s in Minneapolis during the mid-1990’s. The queen who sang that song impressed me. S/he wore a yellow fringe dress that looked like a rotating car wash brush when s/he shook from side to side. Excellent voice. Great stage presence.
Also to get to the drag show (which was upstairs), you had to walk through the communal bathroom. As a simple country boy, I saw things happening in that bathroom that blew my mind.
Good luck on the new job and launder a ton of money for the boss!
/breaking bad
LOL some days I miss clubbing. Most days, not so much.
I remember my folks talking about the Gay ’90s back in the ’40-’50s. Is it on Washington Avenue? Their fave place was the Persian Palms or “The Palms” I think that was on Wash’ton Ave too. I was too young at the time to understand all the adult biz.
The Persian Palms
http://historyapolis.com/blog/2016/07/21/the-persian-palms/
Looks like the Gay 90’s I went to was at Fourth and Hennepin.
From your link, “Violet Morton, Captain of The Beef Trust Chorus, who tipped the scales at more than 300 pounds…”
Light the Tres signal
Ghaa! I’m blinded by the mere text!
Oh shit!
I’ve been to the early 1999-2000 version of the Gay 90s! The main hostess at the time was indeed a fairly round dude/ette who was all about being a great hostess and presenting the music acts etc.
Last time I was there must have been my bachelorette party just prior to my previous marriage.
Great fun, that place!
Faux News is hyping the gerontocracy tonight. I like it.
A lot of this covid shit is caused by them forcing the rest of us to accommodate their needs.
Bonk! Bonk! Bonk!
Yeah, that’s a big point of the parents activism re: schools – that all this is being done to children in the name of ‘safety’ for the elderly who already had their lives. I’ve tried so many times to pin these fuckers down when they try to defend all the masking in schools – they always retreat to “for the community!” – it’s rarely for the children (they all know children are basically safe), but always for the benefit of some phantom group that they can never quite name. “Immunocompromised” — oh ,you mean people who can’t take the vaccine that you’re trying to shove down everyone’s throat, regardless of medical status? elderly who can get boosters? But no…. it’s all those evil viruses the children might bring home to the “community” if they’re not forced to wear wet rags on their face for seven hours even though those same adults get to go sit in a crowd of thousands unmasked.
Yeah, I am baffled at that.
Kids in school are being treated like violent priz-criminals.
Their parents are showing up in their thousands at sporting events, no biggie, at least in free states.
It stopped being about public health a long time ago. A big motivator was to ensure that Trump’s presidency was remembered as a disastrous time. But once they saw how much protest, noncompliance, and resistance there was, they knew they had to send a message.
Their goal is not to save lives. Their goal is to grind our faces into the dirt and make sure we know that they own our bodies and our children’s bodies.
I worry it may be much worse than that. They may actually believe they are helping.
Oh I’m sure that’s the case for the rank-and-file supporters, like my family members who periodically text me and ask if I have “given any more thought to getting vaccinated”.
I think the leadership (Fauci, the governors, Kamala Harris, etc.) know exactly what the fuck they’re doing.
Their punishment should be the same regardless.
Amen, Sister.
That’s one of the cynical 2021 South Park episodes (the post covid special): they have enormous senior home centers because society has decided that they should never die, no matter the cost.
The senior residents are of mixed opinion on whether just being alive is worth it.
Also funny to see the kids of South Park aged by 40 years. Lots of oldies too, like goth kid, 5th grade bully, etc.
“The senior residents are of mixed opinion on whether just being alive is worth it”
Those that are still coherent would tell the truth.
Life and alive are two different things. Thankfully, the Glibs exist…
“Life and alive are two different things.”
Amen. A favorite line from a Dylan tune: “He not busy being born is busy dying”
“Just waitin’ around to die…”
Hah! My brother’s friend runs the place. It’s gotta be one if the oldest bars down there.
Im not saying Ive been taking a lot of zinc, but Im pretty sure my colon is now galvanized.
Save your shit and you could sell them as 100% biodegradable oxidizing zincs for “green” outboard engines.
Shit, save and profit!!!!
Since we weren’t able to get back for the service (online only) thanks to Covid restrictions, my wife’s parents asked us to come over and they’d have a little prayer for my mother at their house. I show up and they have this set up in their house with chairs for all of us. About 30 minutes of Buddhist chanting. It was wonderful. I finally felt like I attended an actual ceremony. Maybe it’s tacky to post this, but I’m beyond grateful to the in laws. I blacked out the photos.
https://ibb.co/JxSKdbk
Not tacky at all. Good in-laws are worth almost more than a good spouse. 😉
My mother-in-law didn’t speak English, a blessing. OTOH she really loved me.
Did you lose your mother Straff?
I’m sorry about your mother straff. That especially sucks that you were stopped from going due to insane restrictions. Good to have in-laws like that.
I apparently missed when it happened. My condolences on your loss Straff. It sounds like your in-laws are good people.
Beautiful. The spirit will not die despite all efforts to crush it.
Relevant to Yufus
Look up you drunk fuck, it’s the obvious tune,
Tall cans!
Good stuff, Yusuf.
: )
lol can’t we all just get along
I can say that because I am one, Tres get’s it,
Over the past few days Ive learned that beer goes WAY further when you’re posting a screaming fever.
/$ave$ ca$h
Anyone besides me remember this this steaming pile from the 1970s?
No memory of that. But I swear I could see biden as one of the passengers in several clips.
Yep.
I have a vague memory of NBC pimping it hard.
Nope. That was an awesome intro though.
That music…
Watched about half of the pilot episode. Left to wank off as was my wont as a 13 year-old boy.
PC out kids! gotta fix a Car washing machine!
OT: What are emotions? What should be done with them? Should they be treated as crucial indicators of reality or animalistic urges to be ignored in favor of reason? Is there even a difference between rational thoughts and emotions? (the Taoists don’t seem to believe so).
My philosophy is that when we have negative emotions, we should channel that energy into fixing the situation, and if it can’t be fixed, work on accepting it. I’m not criticizing other views, but I have to say that I’m at a loss for why anyone would aspire to handle them any other way. And I believe that you have to aggressively pursue opportunities for joy wherever they can be found (within the limits of morality and prudence).
I’ve just been struggling lately because it turns out that most people do not share these views with me, and that causes a lot of friction in interpersonal relationships.
to be ignored as animalistic urges, &Yes, there is a difference between rational thought and emotions. Your philosophy is correct. I sense a disturbance in the force
Emotions are instincts, just like avoiding danger, “flight or fight”, seeking a mate, etc.
Humans have this weird deal where we have the instincts but can override them with intellect at times.
Sometimes the overriding is good (we forgive, we sacrifice for strangers, we withdraw and let another emerge as the leader.
But sometimes the overriding is bad and we become self centered to a fault, even hostile to blood relatives regardless of dna.
I don’t know what makes Certain people go against selfish instincts sometimes.
I think it’s the little spark of divinity we all have.
You know who else had a spark of divinity?
I read a book recently, “The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature” by Stephen Pinker, and he argued that “altruistic” behaviors may actually be part of our evolutionary hardwiring – e.g.the species will be better off if we sometimes help another with the understanding that we may need such help ourselves on a later occasion. He posited that there can be many “drives” that motivate our behavior, and which one dominates will depend on the situation and our individual personalities. Obviously, there is a conceivable evolutionary advantage in being a total sociopath who lies and steals to obtain benefits, but there is also an advantage to being part of a community with a shared moral system.
How we make decisions is something like a committee where the member who is most persuasive will get their way.
I’ve pondered and pondered and pondered, and I don’t think this is the case with myself (but of course, people with severe personal flaws often don’t recognize them as such). It’s just that from my point of view, most people I know place too much emphasis on expressing and receiving acknowledgement of their negative emotions and not nearly enough on finding solutions. This causes them to become, well, bitchy, whiny, complaining people who dwell on every little bad thing that happens and let those misfortunes suck the joy out of their lives. But that’s just my point of view (the Taoists say that all knowledge is perceptual – e.g. from MY point of view, or YOUR point of view).
I dunno… Years and years ago, I struggled with feelings of failure and suicidal thoughts, and I overcame them through Stoic philosophy and a personal ethos of nonstop self-improvement. Maybe that made me hard and callous in some ways.
Thanks for a detailed and thoughtful reply.
I’m not sure of any motivations, but I do know I have a special fondness for my sister’s eldest daughter. She happens to look like me coincidence? I dunno.
As a woman who never had kids, I’m protective and benevolent to my siblings’ kids and to my step kids. Honestly less so to the stepkids, but that’s mostly because they are ungrateful liberal twats. Hopefully that will change, at which time my “will” will change too.
“My philosophy is that when we have negative emotions, we should channel that energy into fixing the situation, and if it can’t be fixed, work on accepting it.”
This is very similar to what was drilled into me in a 12 step program. But that program has gone off the rails in overemphasizing the “negativity” of certain emotions (specifically anger) and replacing acceptance with fatalism. I don’t think emotions are positive or negative, they are a way our minds let us know there is a need to take action about something. Acceptance is necessary only when action is either impossible or counter-productive.
https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2021/12/13/district-attorney-larry-krasner-philadelphia-robberies-shootings-crime/
You want to apologize? Suck start a Glock, Larry.
They’re just getting jacked at gunpoint. What’s the big deal?
+1 R Budd Dwyer
https://www.foxnews.com/us/indiana-pastor-hbo-drag-were-here-relieve-of-duties-bullied
Wut?
https://ohionewstime.com/nfl-needs-covid-19-booster-shot-immediately/301998/
This
Is
All
So
Fucking
Stupid
https://www.ketv.com/article/shock-to-the-system-dermatologist-says-covid-19-can-lead-to-excessive-hair-loss/38483160#
?
Heart problems, brain fog, hair loss…is there anything it can’t do?
Stop Coronavirus?
Keep the stories coming, Yusef!
The real universe will be sweet if it is populated. With crews as half as independent and resourceful as your cast.
Thanks HE,
Good Morning to all those awake and not woke and those who soon will be awake and not woke.
To those woke, you’re already not having a good morning.
Good morning, 4(20) – and Sean and hayek, if you’re both still about! I’m as awake as I care to be – went to bed earlier than usual last night. 4(20), I hope your presence at this hour doesn’t mean you were suffering from insomnia. Delighted to see you regardless!
The missus has an early (for us) dental appointment 30 miles away. Have to wake her in a couple minutes. Good to see you and the other folks and good to be seen as well.
Good morning everyone. Straff, that was a beautiful thing your in-laws did; they’re good people.
Donut Operator breaks down that horrific drive-by hit in Puerto Rico – https://youtu.be/7chjXQx6Ktc
Morning, Glibs.
I managed to sleep through my alarm only to get woken up by some asshole blaring their horn down the street. I’m still annoyed at the driver who had such disrespect.
Covfefe Glibbies, It looks like I’m back to workin again, so I may say howdy! from time to time in the A.M.
Congrats to your gainful employment.
I have some concerns about my back, but I’mma just take it slow and easy, and hope it works out, Thanks UCS!
and Ghost! as well
Surely something there can be used as a back massager.
Yeah, but she got a job as well, same hours as me.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-4XhO-siEbU
Mornin’, fellow reprobates.
Thanks for the stories Yusef, and congratulations on the new gig. Live
longfree and prosper.Work Christmas presents arrived last night. 3# of Death Wish cofefe. Store price $60.
Odd to be merchendising the third movie of a series when it’s been out a while.
We used to watch that film just to make sport of it!
Mornin’ my early lovelies! Hope that everyone has a fine day. 23 down, 10 to go. It’s not active combat or anything but I’m getting tired. I used to eat this stuff for breakfast.
Heyo! Big D! How’s it going up there!
Struggling but still standing. My own version of the SYT pulled into the lot when I was leaving and I never even copped to the fact that it was her when she waved at me. I’m used to thinking ALL of the steps ahead at work and that’s been whittled down to pretty much base instincts. I will abide.
Think less Rapesquatch and more Lurch.
https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2021/12/13/facebook-admits-in-court-that-fact-checks-are-just-opinion/
Huh.
“Facebook, now calling itself “Meta,” asserts that Stossel needs to “attribute Climate Feedback’s separate webpages to Meta” because of the tech company’s outsourcing of censorship to third-party fact checkers”
Cool, next time I am in a homicidal mood I’ll just outsource the job to a third party.
Straight from the horse’s mouth.
It’s Kafka-esque.
https://www.nj.com/politics/2021/12/nj-lawmakers-move-to-toughen-states-already-strict-gun-laws.html
“…commonsense measures…”
🙄