Sometime in 1990/91 I was 19/20 years old and had a symbiotic relationship with a 25-year-old, (unfortunately not that way, we were both straight white males) I had a low-level job(s) and (beer) money, Jim could buy beer and get me into the bars. It worked out well for the 8 months or so we hung out.
One Saturday night about 02:00 as we were driving out of town from (probably) some strip club (it wasn’t the 60s where you could drive with the beer on your dash, but still pretty lenient back then) he decided that it would be a good idea to flip off the next car we seen.
This was in the 3rd biggest city in Missouri, approx. 140,000 at the time. The road we were on was a 5-lane fancy city road with two driving lanes and a turning lane. There were very few people on the road at that time of night, really only other drunks would be my guess. The next car we see is a Jeep (actual Jeep, not some truck/SUV from the company Jeep) and so being intoxicated and easily led astray, I followed along with the joke and flipped off the Jeep as they passed.
I really didn’t even think they would notice; BOY WAS I WRONG! The Jeep made a you-ee and were quickly behind us. We were really in no shape or actually looking for a confrontation, but it was not too late: we just decided we would take the next turn (which also was a back way to our small hometown.) Problem solved.
Not exactly; seeing as how we were drunk, Jim didn’t want to run a red light. As we are setting in the left turn lane in Jim’s little 1985 Chevy S-10, just waiting for the green light, waiting to make our get-a-way, the back window exploded! What the HELL! Seems like these fuckers had just thrown a beer bottle through the back glass! Well now our flight or fight response had kicked into fight mode!
We drove two blocks and turned down the street (I really don’t remember the conversation, probably something along the lines of we’re going to kick these fuckers’ ass!) because there was a field there and not just houses. I grabbed two cans of beer, got out of the passenger side just as two men got out of the passenger side of the Jeep, I said “Hey sorry about flipping y’all off, would ya like a beer?” they said “Yeah, sorry about the back glass” and we sipped beer and became best friends. HAHAHA
Actually, I threw the beer cans at the assholes, no idea if either can connected, and we commenced to brawling. Jim was busy with the driver of the Jeep, while I was busy with the two passengers. I guess I was doing alright, but definitely wasn’t winning. (As those of you who have been in fights can probably attest, you aren’t thinking consciously, just reacting.) So after about 10 minutes (HAHA) 1 minute? I was backing up and away from my adversaries, I looked over to see how Jim was doing. I guess he had lost sooner than I had, he was across the street knocking on a door and the other foe was walking towards me, which would mean three on one, me being the one. NOT GOOD.
I started yelling at him that I clearly needed help. Jim does come back to join the fight, leaving me with just two rivals to face off against. Well, we got back after it. I don’t remember anything until I feel three distinct blows to my face: left side, blam; right side, pow; left side, ka-bam! (These are the first punches I remember feeling in any fight, when you actually feel the punches, you know you are beat, at least I did.) I was able to back pedal, get my hands up and say “You win, I give up”. By this time we were at least 150 yards! (wink) from the truck, and all I wanted to do was get back in the little Chevy S-10, have a beer and a cigarette, and get home.
I guess I was a decent challenge to these two other late-night drunks, because when I gave up, they allowed me to give up and quit the fight. As I start walking back to the truck I notice that the driver of the Jeep has Jim by the collar and bent over the wheel well of the little S-10. I remember thinking that by the time I reach the truck he will have let him go and we can leave. That was not to be. So, plan B pops into my head. I reach for the door handle and open the door; my two adversaries were backed off about 5 feet. I acted like I was going to get in the truck, but then turned to my left, did a crow hop and landed one of the best punches of my life on that MF’r holding Jim across the wheel well. I know S-10’s aren’t all that big, but his ass landed by the bumper and slid another foot or so. His buddy grabbed me, and I him, and he tried to knee me in the family jewels, while I blocked his attempt with my knee.
The driver, while picking himself up of the ground, said “lets’ get out of here”, and they did. But unbeknownst to Jim and I, the real reason was that some people in an apartment had heard the commotion and were walking toward us with guns. I have no idea how much they had seen, but the Jeep people left and the apartment people let us into their place to clean up.
By the time we got back to the S-10 the cops were there. They asked us a few questions and then let us go. It was obviously a drunk fight and no need to spend any more police time on this foolishness.
As we were driving home Jim said that the reason he was at the door trying to get help was because it was the hardest he had ever been hit in the ribs and he couldn’t hardly breath. The next day he called me and said that he had actually been stabbed. He had called the cops and this perked their interest slightly, but we didn’t have any description or license plate, so nothing ever came of it.
At this time I was still living at home with my mother. I put my shirt in the sink with hot water. The next morning the only thing my mother said was that you get blood out with cold water.
The Fight
About The Author
Lazer
Still trying to become the main character in Charlie Daniels "Long Haired Country Boy"
Goddam! Great read, Lazer!
The two dudes I know who were stabbed in fights, didn’t know until a.) the morning after, and b.) when he woke up later that night handcuffed to the bed in the hospital, with a cop telling him he was under arrest for manslaughter.
Oddly, this hasn’t deterred me from carrying a knife.
Hopefully not to a gunfight.
Medic!
Indeed
I would show my gun and/or knife to the bass player IYKWIMAITYD
Mike’s wife hardest hit.
Yikes! I can picture that ending much differently in other times and/or places.
There’s an “I Am Lame” category or articles? wut? lol!
*of
It’s a default for if you don’t put any categories in.
And some of us put in on other pieces as well (especially when they’re late).
I honestly never really *see* the categories. I happened to notice this time and clicked on it and there’s a hodgepodge of articles.
Look, I’ll finish the Kitbash series eventually.
3 Years?
/taps foot………….
Two weeks to
flatten the curvedocument the kitbash.TBH, he has never been in a rush,
Sad thing is I’ve been almost compelted for a while. I’ve just got to finish the almost finished horses sitting on my monitor stand.
You can lead a horse to a monitor, but you can’t lead a UCS across the finish line.
Hey Neph, can I email you some brewing questions? You are the Man around here,
Kinnath knows a thing or two about brewing…
He is the Mead Master, I’m doing beer, I think,
Don’t discount mead, Yusef. In my limited experience, it’s easier to do in a small space and every bit as fun. (and generally speaking, it’s higher octane)
I do beer, wine, and cider too.
Sour ales are my 2nd specialty.
See, Yusef, I told you so.
Kinnath’s mead is worth a trip to HH, rave reviews abound.
Meeting other Glibs is a great treat too, though
Can conquer. kinnath makes some pretty damn good mead.
That’s an understatement.
Who do I contact about toilet wine?
Chafed: got a Max or Supermax prison near you?
Sure thing. My handle at the mail of the G.
Thanks M!
Peroxide will also help prevent blood from staining. It works when the blood is fresh. Don’t know when it stops working. But too much will take the dye out of the cloth.
This is how I know I’d have liked Lazer’s mom.
Bravery
Bravery
One of my favorites.
lulz
Lazer, it’s a good thing we’re only young once. It’s a tough learning curve but here we are.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jo505ZyaCbA
Reading this drunk is like watching the Bourne Supremacy. I can’t tell what’s going on, but I’m rooting for the hero, and suddenly cops are involved
‘I can’t tell what’s going on, but I’m rooting for the hero, and suddenly cops are involved’
Ah, to be young again in Westport.
Heh.
Thanks for the fridge tips folks (and Lackadaisical’s info in the last thread).
Probably just gonna go for the Lowes thing now – both for the options, the timing, and the 10% discount.
Put some brownies in the oven. I now have to find people to give them away to.
::Raises hand. Remembers where she lives. And where UCS lives. Slowly lowers hand.::
I don’t think they’s survive shipping. 🙁
Who said anything about shipping? You can drop them off at GT’s on your way here. Brownies and Camp Fire Girls (cookies) are good.
I was a Camp Fire Girl! (Started out as a Blue Bird – their equivalent of the Girl Scouts’ Brownies.) We sold candy – Russell Stover and Fannie Farmer. FF French and Frosted Mints were the best thing ever.
Still love those Girl Scout cookies, though, and still have a pretty good stash of Thin Mints in the basement freezer, though we had to sacrifice some to make room for some dumb old meat.
?
Inorite??? Broke my heart. But I buy them a case at a time, stick them in the freezer, and sometimes don’t eat the entire case within the year. Then it’s that time again, and I buy another case…
What is the point of buying them if not to eat them?
I have a theory that they will be a valuable form of currency after The Fertilizer Hits the Ventilator.
Well, my brownies have come out of the oven. I’ve unpanned them onto a patchment sheet, and taste tested the few things that broke off (most of the sheet is intact.)
They’re pretty good 😀
The best brownies have a scoop (or three) of vanilla ice cream on top.
I picked up 2 processed deer this week. We drop them off at the local butcher shop whole, they come back cut, wrapped and marked. In addition we’ll have venison sticks and summer sausage made but that will be ready in January. One belongs to Zep, my bee partner. We’re looking good for the winter and Mrs F won’t eat any so I’ll have one for myself. Too bad for her.
Brownies? Don’t you have some kit bashing to do?
No.
I have painting to do. The kitbashing part is done.
Well then. You’ve identified the issue. Next step is to remedy the situation.
?
Now the house smells like fudge brownies.
Great, now I have the temptation of a sheet of brownies cooling in the kitchen, a house that smells of fuge brownies, and I need to avoid eating them.
I can have one or two a day.
If I eat the sheet, well, that ends badly.
This is why I want to give some away.
…and did you make them with zucchini?
Not this time.
I have three kinds of brownies to make for the Christmas thing, none invlolve Zuchinni, sorry
My zucchini brownies are chocolate, but they have a more cake-like texture than a fudge-like texture. The peeled, de-seeded, shredded zucchini just melts into the batter and makes the brownies come out deliciously moist.
My brownies are always cake like, and i love zuchinni, but kind of worried, the holidays may no be the time to experiment, and Yusef get’s to do treats for a number of families this year, Yusef is Happy!
Yusef has not earned the right to refer to himself in the third person.
One of the local wineries has a very good restaurant attached.
Turns out the head chef is a Cajun guy. I don’t typically have room for dessert but I can’t turn down authentic bread pudding, so I had it boxed up.
I heated it up today, and damn—it did NOT disappoint.
This oddball little town has some treasures to be discovered…
That sounds like fun, I found a few dives in town that serve great food but if you ain’t a local you don’t know,
Enjoy!
I miss good banana pudding.
I love this article. I just may drink a few cups of coffee to regain focus then regale you with tales of physical violence…
….but probably not.
As a former practitioner of Physical Violence, just don’t. It is not worth it. You won’t change any minds.
violence isn’t about changing minds but eliminating them.
We’re more of an emotional violence kinda place.
*runs off sobbing*
Loss of taste/smell must be caused by covid, don’t they know anything?
I have definitely been involved in a “let’s flip off some fools!” “oh, shit!” situation or two, albeit a bit younger.
Have you ever Firsted with the devil under the pale moonlit night?
Have you ever talked to a girl without having to give your credit card number first?
ahhhh! hahahahahah!!!
Who wants to talk to women? That is not one of their useful functions.
What a fucking loser, Women? you should be so lucky,
HS coming in hard from the top rope!
Oh man. Thanks, HEX, for giving me the first genuine LOL I’ve had in months. 😉
?
me-ow
If you were worthy of producing the First to End All Firsts, you would get the quote right. Obviously you are a false prophet.
Lesson for a heretic.
Thank you for noting that. I too winced at the misquote.
Related: https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/prince-taught-himself-play-piano-batman-theme-song.html/
Now that the vaccine “rule” from OSHA is back in effect until the Us Supreme Court hears and decides the case, does that mean that firings/furloughs must commence?
If the Supremes hear it, I’d love to see them smack down OSHA’s ever-expanding authority “to assure safe and healthful working conditions for the nation´s work force.”
Where does such an authority end? Does OSHA need to regulate wearing of perfume, ownership of firearms, air quality? “Healthiness” of cafeteria menus? Can we still bring in donuts or home cooked treats?
This is getting seriously stupid.
Fuck the dictator in the White House and fuck the judges. Three generations of imbecilic jurists is enough.
“will no one rid rid me of!”
And to answer your question, apparently yes. Their authority is limited only by what judges say it is, possibly unlimited.
I hope scotus does it’s job but I’m not convinced at all. They can say that Korematsu and Dredd Scott are bad law and not applicable, but given the appropriate circumstances or similar, they would rule the same in a heartbeat. Remember after all these are the same learned jurists who think the federal government can legitimately force you to eat broccoli, or at least consider the question seriously rather than laughing it out of hand.
This is a bit of a side note but the plaintiffs can ask the Supremes to reimpose the stay while the case is briefed. I’m not counting on it but it wouldn’t surprise me if it happened.
Third time? test
One…two…three?
I am going to make some Christmas treats Like Wendy did, I love treats,
Fudge, lots of fudge
Peanut brittle
Chocolate brittle
Turtle Brownies
Fudge Brownies
Key Lime pie
Pumpkin Pie
Spice cake cupkakes with cream cheese frosting
Cherry cheese cake
I will probably split it into 2 and give it to a few families,
Treats!!!!
And don’t forget cookies, lots of cookies,
And yes, you/I pay for it, it’s called food stamps, I mcan’t possibly eat what they give me, so I stock up,
This speech by a Polish survivor of the Holocaust, Marian, Turski, is food for thought in our new “vaccine/obedience” caste system.
https://medium.com/@BDStanley/thou-shalt-not-be-indifferent-ce039cc83182
I read that, I was moved
I’m tired of 100 percent bad things, the world is still a great place, and we are still Civilised, let’s enjoy the Season, and God bless us all!
/agnosic Glibs excepted of course
Well you can still bless the agnostic Glibs— they are keeping their options open. Even out truly atheist Glibs aren’t dicks about it and would probably say Merry Christmas.
You are bringing happiness into the season with your ambitious baking plans. Happiness and diabetes…
????
I’m kind of picking up where Wendy left off, she was the Queen of Christmas treats, so I follow, this year I spread the cheer!
Yummies!
German Opera, I have lost it…
You are still a bunch of unlikable nerds.
https://dailycaller.com/2021/12/17/quidditch-change-name-jk-rowling-anti-trans-positions-harry-potter/
Parody, still dead.
US/Japanese defense relationship, visualized
https://i.redd.it/tusqs2aepvv71.jpg
Lol
Lol for truth!
We have a 5.7 lb standing rib roast for the two of us.
Meat. ?
Morning to the North American Glibs, afternoon to the Euros, and whatever to the Asian based Glibs.
How are you going to fix it?
Seasoned in store (The Fresh Market).
Gf is just gonna pop it in the oven.
I’m going to drive around until I see a gaggle of unruly, disagreeable looking people and I’ll know I’m at Sean’s house.
“Howdy Sean, me and some glibs got your invite”
Glibs form a grex not a gaggle.
I’ll break out the single malt for ya.
https://www.nj.com/politics/2021/12/as-covid-grows-in-nj-murphy-says-everything-on-the-table-in-fight-to-contain-its-renewed-spread.html
Double masking rears its ugly head again.
Get bent, Phil.
OK then. ?
https://ktla.com/news/nationworld/federal-appeals-court-allows-biden-employer-vaccine-mandate-to-take-effect/
Wait, what?
I go to sleep and suddenly we’re #losing again?
??
I will not comply.
suh’ fam
Unless I have residual paracetamol coursing through my veins and masking, Im 99º
%SpO2 96
Current titty status: convalescing
Hell, I may even have a beer or 2
Mornin’
https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2021/12/17/ridley-crum-lynne-store-employee-shot-killed-delaware-county-empire-smoke-phone-store/
Where’s OSHA on this one?
https://www.wfmz.com/video/allentown-1st-responders-compete-in-christmas-tree-tossing-contest/video_4e083231-763b-58e5-96f0-67da7e956f04.html
Tree tossing. ?
Two Pfizer shots didn’t work in kids under 5, so the answer is clearly MOAR shotz!!
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/ushome/index.html
Child abuse.
Murder
They should start having omicron parties like they used to with chickenpox. It’s the natural vaccine looks like.
At Kroger’s this morning, in the homewares department they had an end display full of white coffee mugs with a single black letter on them, someone had arranged the middle row to spell JACKASS.
“Someone”
Uh huh.
How’d they know you were coming?
https://nypost.com/2021/12/18/kamala-harris-interview-with-charlamagne-tha-god-gets-heated-after-real-president-question/
She mad.
*paging SF*
Because appearing on a “comedy” show with that racist piece of shit is great look for the vice president. ?
Wasn’t that the show Biden was on when he said the you ain’t black line? They need to just steer clear of that one.
If the GOP wins in 2024, Tha God has promised to emigrate to Nigeria, so that’s something to look forward to.
Wow, I was wrong on this one. The Project Veritas expose on a pedophile at CNN was about somebody other than Griffin. They appear to have a stable of pervs over there.
https://mobile.twitter.com/JackPosobiec/status/1472040227044618240
Congrats to Wallace on a hell of a career decision.
CNN is a mess and a den of kid diddlers it looks like.
Further down on the page, I found what I’m going to do if I win the lottery:
Randy Quaid
@RandyRRQuaid
·
19h
For 10 million dollars I’ll stand on your front lawn myself in a white bathrobe with a big hose, smoking a cigar and drinking a beer. This is a special discounted limited one time offer good til Christmas Day.
My shocked face – ?
This article hit too close to home! I could relate similar stories (aside from the stabby part). That didn’t happen to me but to a friend of mine. 21 years old and got pin-cushioned over a taxi ride at last call outside a dive bar. He ded. Mornin’ Glibs!
They cancelled New Year’s Eve up here. Dr. Bonnie belongs in a gibbet. No gatherings over 10 people. Not that it affects me at all but a younger version of myself would have no truck with this nonsense.
https://www.reddit.com/r/fo4/comments/ri0yid/my_vault_and_weapons/
That’s some proper ocd.
Respect.
Mornin’ Festus and all, NYE isn’t cancelled, only moved indoors and with so many people and all the refreshments, who can count?
Arrest one, arrest all.
Good morning, 4(20) and… ::glances upthread:: all the rest of you!
Getting ready to go see some friends play music at a holiday (indoor) farmers’ market just over the state line in IN. They’re getting ready to move up to the UP, so we have to catch them while we can. ?
Nice! I miss having IRL friends and I really miss the music scene. I remember being in the City for a punk-rockin’ New Year’s Eve about 30-odd years ago. It was like halloween. All of the mohawks were especially high that night! Everybody was on speed and we club-crawled. Super fun but you only live once.
This I know but the fact that THEY are so emboldened is worrisome. Nobody gives a shit about dictats up here.