The ZARDOZ Prayer

by | Dec 15, 2021 | Cryptids, Religion | 202 comments

Dear The Powers That Be,

Enclosed please find an attempt to appease The Power That Cleanses. As usual I’d appreciate it if you would run this by TPTC before publication lest I spend the remainder of my brief unhappy life cultivating green bread precursors.

Article:

In these troubled times it is natural to seek solace in religion. But what religion should one choose?

What a silly question! Several times a month we Glibs are graced with PROOF of the existence of the One True God. Believe or be CLEANSED!

The ZARDOZ Prayer:[1]

Our ZARDOZ,
who floats in the heavens,
hollow be thy Figurehead.

Thy Exterminators come,
thy Brutals will be cleansed,
in the Outlands as it is in the Vortex.

Give us this day the Gift of the Gun,
and forgive us our lust for young Charlotte Rampling,[2]
as we forgive those who decline to join in second level meditation.[3]

And lead us not into grain slavery,
but deliver us from the evil penis.

For thine is the Tabernacle,[4]
and the Eternals,
and the red nappies,[5]
for ever and ever.

Amen.

Footnotes:

[1] This is TZP v2. I composed v1 shortly after ZARDOZ revealed himself unto us. I appended it to a dead thread before I understood the concept. I don’t think anyone ever saw it[6] and I can’t find it now.

[2] Please feel free to substitute the object of your admiration here.

[3] This didn’t work out so well for Friend who was aged and exiled to the Renegades. I’d like to think we’re more charitable.

[4] Catholics can elide this part.

[5] I use “nappies” here instead of “diapers” because that’s what Sean Connery would have insisted they’re not, Dammit!

[6] Glib forum dead threads are a valuable resource. Whenever I make up an improbable password I archive it in a comment at the end of an old discussion secure in the knowledge that no one will ever see it.

About The Author

Richard

Richard

202 Comments

  1. DEG

    Give us this day the Gift of the Gun,

    I received the Gift of the Gun today.

    Well, I had to pay for it myself so it really wasn’t a gift, but close enough for me.

    • MikeS

      I am very much considering gifting myself in such a manner. Last week someone (Bearded Hobbit?) turned me on to the Henry Big Boy X Model in .357 mag.

      • Spudalicious

        A Daniel Defense M4A1 appeared on my kitchen table a couple of days ago.

      • EvilSheldon

        Good choice. Got optics picked out?

      • Spudalicious

        Vortex Razor. I was able to get it through a friend for half price.

      • EvilSheldon

        The 1-6x variable? Outstanding. That’s one of my very favorite scopes and my first choice for a ‘do-anything’ AR.

      • Fourscore

        I would buy one (for myself) in .41 Mag so I’d have the ammo for a handgun/rifle. Out of stock… damn it, seemed like all the Henrys are popular

      • MikeS

        That’s why I want it…it’ll be a big brother to my GP100. And yeah, looks like it might be difficult to come by. Sold out everywhere local (and not-so local) I’ve looked

      • Fourscore

        I think what happened when the kids couldn’t get the caliber of their choice they went to what was available, rather than wait. Too much sold out, Henry needs to hire some of the new arrivals that want to work.

      • MikeS

        Agreed.

        I’m going to do a bit more shopping about, but I’m guessing I’ll just have to go to a Henry dealer, call dibs, and wait…

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        T’was me and I got it for the same reason as you, goes with my handgun.

        I was searching for the Marlin 1894 but found the Henry. Great, solid gun.

        Now if I can just find ammo. .357 seems particularly hard to find.

      • MikeS

        The 1894 was my first choice a couple years ago when I first started looking around. But from a practical standpoint, the X Model seems to fit my situation better. I’m looking for a defense/SHTF situation rifle. Everything about the X fits. The threaded barrel is also intriguing.

      • slumbrew

        If you haven’t watched any videos of people shooting .38 spl suppressed through one of those, they’re grin-inducing.

      • MikeS

        I have. I think I have an air rifle that is louder. ?

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        I have an 1894 in .357. And I have been thinking about getting it threaded for a suppressor, as that would be just dandy.

      • slumbrew

        I have. I think I have an air rifle that is louder. ?

        “huh, look at that – that squirrel just spontaneously combusted.”

      • Spudalicious

        Really? I just went out to the garage and there’s a pile of it. 🙂

      • MikeS

        BH and I will be right over.

      • Spudalicious

        It’s hidden under the .38sp.

      • slumbrew

        ISTR that Suthen mentioned he has so much .357 he mentioned shipping some to RC Dean when the latter was looking at a wheelgun.

      • slumbrew

        (quality slumbrewing there, with the doubled up “mentioned”)

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      Self-gifting is the best! I’m thinking a HK VP9 may be in my future. Or a black opal pendant,

    • straffinrun

      ? ??

    • straffinrun

      James Holmes went to the wrong theater.

  2. Richard

    Bitcoin account password: bitcoinaccountpassword123xyz

    Too soon?

  3. rhywun

    Catholics can elide this part.

    Whew. I was going to start bitching.

  4. Richard

    You know, I thought ZARDOZ would be all over the “lust for” line WRT the evil penis. I assume he’s on the Zoom with everyone else.

    • juris imprudent

      Yeah, if I was to have an image en-graven-ed into my mind.

    • Richard

      Ozy! I’ve always wanted to tell you that I bought your book. It made me angry, sad, and determined.

      • Ozymandias

        Thank you, Richard!
        And…, I guess I’ll take 1 out of 3.
        😉

  5. straffinrun

    Now I lay me down to sleep
    I pray the lord my soul to keep
    If I should die before I wako
    I pray the lord
    Fuck the ATF with a banjo.

    • rhywun

      I heard they’re going to tax the fuck out of vaping in order to increase the rate of smoking (further).

      • straffinrun

        Time to vape the ATF

      • rhywun

        Actually I now see the article mentions the FDA but I assume the ATF is their stormtroopers enforcement branch.

    • Aloysious

      Hush little Zardoz,
      don’t say the word,
      And never mind
      the noise Zed heard
      It’s just the Void under your bed,
      The penis is evil and the gun is good!

      Exit light…

  6. commodious spittoon

    I graved an image once… no, wait, I imagined a grave, once… wait, I’m thinking of Ebenezer Scrooge.

    Speaking of which: Goes Wrong Show does A Christmas Carol.

    • DrOtto

      This is why I give to IJ.

      • MikeS

        #metoo

        I recently became a monthly giver. Not a lot, but the monthly donations are important to them because it’s gives them a degree of stability in their income source.

        I also changed my Amazon Smile donation from 4H to IJ. Sorry kiddos, but maybe my donation will help you out one day when you’re older.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Welcome to the Merry Band of IJ monthly donors!

      • MikeS

        I should have done it a while ago. I view it as another step along the path of earning my libertarian bona fides.

  7. Yusef drives a Kia

    I don’t get it, so I’ll bake treats for all the folks at home,

    • Fourscore

      You’ll be ready when the carolers hit Manistee, they don’t sing for free.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I am loaded for bear this year, and I have many people to give treats to this year, Wendy taught me how to do treats right, so i bake in her honor, plus Yummy’s

    • Spudalicious

      I’ve noticed the island riots have disappeared from the news.

  8. Gustave Lytton

    Most grating American accents

    1) Boston
    2) Arkansas (sorry Lach)
    3) Misourah
    4) Upspeak?

    Hotel only has Coors Lite on tap but it’s complementary. Supplementing with Merlot.

    Also, fuck every OTR driver in the ass with a rusty 18 wheel chainsaw. Assholes blocked up the interstate with their antics. 30 minutes to go three miles and couldn’t use the shoulder to exit because the assholes were using it as parking until spring comes. Fuckers were even parked on city streets, blocking traffic lanes, with their flashers on. No state troopers to be seen. What they really need to do is starting shooting them pour encourager les truckers.

    • pistoffnick

      Yah sure, You betcha!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Ayeya! know what yer talikin aboot!

      • Gustave Lytton

        I work with Minniesoda people enough that it not only doesn’t bother me but I start slurring my words after a long conference call/zoom struggle session. And it’s not the merlot talking!

    • MikeS

      I suggest supplementing with something more potent than Merlot.

      • Gustave Lytton

        There’s Glenliver in the fridge in the room

      • MikeS

        That’s a wonderful typo. (I’m going to assume it was inadvertent)

      • Gustave Lytton

        It was but I left it because it fit.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Missourians don’t have an accent, really. The Midwestern Drawl may be an undertone but I’ve lived by and been in a boat load of neighborhoods were people who have lived next to each other their whole lives have completely different speach patterns. Some had the typical redneck drawl, some a southern twain, some a mostly neutral accent, some who sounded like surfer stoners from Cali, some who sounded like valley girls, some who sounded like uptight preppy assholes…

      Maybe the accent is more homogenized south of the Missouri River but north of it it’s all over the place, especially in the rural areas close to the suburb and urban areas.

      And the correct answer is Boston

      /former resident

      • slumbrew

        Since you lived here you know that “Boston accent” covers a whole lot of ground. It’s subtle more often than it’s grating.

        I though Jeremy Renner did a good job in The Town.

        The correct answer is, of course, New Jersey.

      • rhywun

        Jersey is the same as Long Island to me, and Long Island comforts me for some inexplicable reason since I’m not even from there.

        (For those who don’t know, Noo Yawk accent is largely gone from New York City.)

      • slumbrew

        I, of course, speak perfectly accent-less English.

        Only sort of kidding – dad was from Gloucester, MA, mom was an English teacher & they both hated the Long Island accent (which is terrible), so they would instantly correct us growing up. I’ve have been told more than once that I have no discernible accent.

        But I’ve been in Mass a while now, so perhaps I’ve acquired some bad speaking habits (ya bastids).

      • Trigger Hippie

        Heh. It happens, man. I remember taking a lot of shit in Boston for my accent so I tried to clean it up…then when I went home I took shit for dropping my Rs. I eventually found a decent middle ground but I’m sure after many years of being back in the Midwest I probably sound like a hick to many people once again.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I lived in Southie before I moved to Somerville and worked and hung out around the airport in East Boston so maybe I just noticed it more.

        …I do seem to recall fucking with a guy from Jersey at work a lot. Name of Joel. He thought my accent was funny, I thought his was funny. Somewhere along the line I started greeting him by doing the old SNL skit with Rob Schneider where he was an office drone who greeted his co-workers with, say…”Jooooelll! Joelalamabama! Joeluski! The Joelinator…Jooooelll!

        He hated that and it amused me to no end.

      • slumbrew

        As a present-day Villen, that accent is pretty much gone, gentrified away by assholes like, uh, me. My 4th-generation neighbors still have it but that’s about it.

        Same goes for Southie, for that matter.

        Back in the day, those would indeed have been bastions of rather grating Boston accents.

        Casey Afflek, unsurprisingly, does a great blue-collar Boston accent

      • Trigger Hippie

        I thought he did a great job in Gone Baby Gone. Underrated film.

      • Chafed

        Ah Somerville, the gateway to Medford.

      • slumbrew

        Place on the corner – which will require a gut reno – was on the market for 3 days at $1.5MM. Already off market.

        $1.5MM for what would be a tear-down if you didn’t care about being grandfathered in to the zoning laws.

        Medford is barely any cheaper at this point.

      • Chafed

        OMG! What happened? That used to be where the townies live.

    • Mojeaux

      If they’re saying “Misourah,” they’re saying it wrong. Or they’re from the south of the state.

      Mih ZUR ee

      • Spudalicious

        My dad was born in Kansas City and called it “Misourah”.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I was born in Kansas City and call it Missouri.

        Like I said, despite a subtle undertone the accent isn’t universal.

    • MikeS

      Wow. That’s really fucking terrible.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Yes, it hurts but i will push on, thanks!

      • MikeS

        Wait…I meant the song. Am I missing something more personal to you?

    • Gustave Lytton

      “100% No Modern Talking”

      Methinks they protest too much.

  9. Yusef drives a Kia

    My new boss is discovering what i can actually do, He is blown away, to me it’s just a day at the office,
    Small town winning!

  10. UnCivilServant

    I need to get out of this place.

    Problem is, it’s 10pm, and it’s raining. If I go anywhere I’m going to end up depressed.

    I would say something about also having trouble staying awake for work tomorrow, but I don’t care anymore.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      If there was a bar open here, I would buy you a beer, drink, that part of Manistee was crushed do to the Covid BS,

      • UnCivilServant

        I appreciate the sentiment.
        On the upside, my mortgage won’t insist on another payment until March. On the downside, my monthly expenses need trimming to make sure I can survive long enough to gain replacement employment should Kathy continue to be evil.

      • rhywun

        You have valuable skills from what I have gleaned. Don’t sweat it.

      • UnCivilServant

        I keep looking at job postings and thinking either “no way I can do that” or “no way they’d hire me” or “my technical skills are too out of date” often combined with “I have nowhere near enough managerial experience for that”.

        It may be that I’m a bit depressive at the moment. Not clinically so.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Welcome to the party, pal! ?

      • rhywun

        I’ve made a career out of avoiding management. Keep your real skills fresh and you don’t need to deal with that crap. Unless you want to, weirdo.

        Less jokingly… I’m management-adjacent so I get an eye-opening look at what that is all about. Hard pass.

        I spent around five hours over the last couple days doing mind-numbingly boring user/role management on a system I manage and I would rather do that than what my boss does.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve never had a job I enjoyed, so management doesn’t bother me any more.

      • MikeS

        You’re a smart dude. Pour yourself into that new machine you just purchased and see where it leads. Might lead you to a new career you never even knew existed.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve forgotten what I need to find to secure the larger work pieces to the deck.

      • MikeS

        deck = table ?

        There are myriad ways to do it. It all depends on what machining will be done. Ultimately, the holding devices can’t be where the tool is going to go. That’s your main limiting factor.

      • UnCivilServant

        Why didn’t you mention it back when I first called it that?

      • MikeS

        Pick your battles? ?

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, with the correct terminology, I was able to find the search I need for the product I was looking for. 😛

      • UnCivilServant

        More seriously, I might be better off Making some as learner projects instead of buying them.

      • MikeS

        Making your own workholding is absolutely a great beginners project. A bit of a chicken/egg situation, but it really helps you get a grasp for what’s going on.

        Have you run across this gal yet? I like her. She has small hobby machines, but does some good work and is very good about explaining it all.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, the machine came with one vice for small projects, and I have a giant vice that will hold it for hand tooling with things like hacksaws.

        No, I’ve not seen any of those videos.

  11. commodious spittoon

    My undereye bags are getting bad. I’d say I should sleep more but how else am I meant to carry all of the eye candy around here?

    Wait, wait, I’ve got better,

    I may look it but you can’t spell villainous without us

    Wait, wait, I’d got better

    They’re baggy but they’re full of pathos

    Wai, t wait, I’ve got better

    They’d be less pronounced if you weren’t so tiresome

    Wait, wait, I’ve got better

    You’re not the teenage escort I ordered

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      How aboot fuck it, chicks still dig Yusef, eyebags or not, it’s how you carry yourself Man,

  12. Trigger Hippie

    I received the Gift of High Winds and a Power Outage.

    Four hours later…*grumble, grumble*

    At least it’s not cold.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      “At least it’s not cold.” Yet, crack those waterlines now, save misery and money

      • Trigger Hippie

        It’s nowhere close to freezing tonight, my friend. Plenty of blankets and a quilt so I’ll be fine…It’s the silence that’s fucking with me.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I hate silence, it reminds me I’m alone…

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I’ll always have the ringing in my ears to keep me company.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Right?!

        Tinnitus nearly drove me insane the first few months I developed it. After…oh, three or four years it’s just something I deal with subconsciously.

        Heh, talking about it just brought it out a touch more than usual.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Me too. Apparently this is a near automatic VA disability these days. 10% for the little guy.

      • Trigger Hippie

        ?they’ll never stay home and they’re always alone
        Even with someone they love ?

    • Ozymandias

      That was some line of storms that blew through, TH.
      Hope you’re okay. We had all of our ornaments and lights scattered around the yard, but otherwise, not much.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Glad to hear you’re okay as well. I’m perfectly safe. My building is a shithole but it’s encased in sturdy brick.

  13. Yusef drives a Kia

    It’s called weeping, open your water valves a tiny bit, and save a broken line,

  14. rhywun

    Watch This New York University Faculty Member Openly Discuss The Trans Revolution Being Part Of A Larger Communist Revolution

    I’ll pass on that, but I do question why they take the word from some NYU rando about what the “trans revolution is all about”.

    I think the more operative phrase than “trans” is “New York University Faculty Member”.

  15. MikeS

    I sure hope this is an isolated incident/attitude.

    California medics refuse to enter care center to help man in cardiac arrest due to ‘some COVID-19 law’: police

    After about a minute, the officer went inside himself and was almost immediately greeted by frantic hospital staff.

    “They are not going to come in,” the officer told the staff as he started to run to the room where the man was in cardiac arrest. “They’re saying it’s a state law that they cannot come in.”

    The officer then encountered multiple staff members performing CPR and other life-saving measures on the patient. The bed he was in did not have wheels, so the officer got behind the bed and pushed it.

    “You’re doing a great job. You’re doing a great job. Keep going,” the officer told one exhausted staff member as she continued CPR.

    • Aloysious

      I’ll use the$20 to buy some Neufchatel cheese.

      … then profit.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Sadly Philadelphia is fake cream cheese these days. How hard is it to add flavoring to xantham gun and carrageenan and put in a package?

    • Chafed

      Same as downtown?

  16. Yusef drives a Kia

    Sometimes being married for a long time can bite you in the ass, you expect one thing and discover another, it’s painful,
    But I guess you live through it,

  17. Yusef drives a Kia

    All these times I was finding myself,
    I didn’t know I was lost,

  18. Brochettaward

    I threw an awesome diss at Straf last night, but it was after Glibs had closed for the night. I was resting, passing my energy along to The First That Will Change Everything.

    Straf: I like my rye like I like my women…
    Bro: With dicks

    I shouldn’t have had to do it, frankly. You people all dropped the ball.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      How dare you duck while I throw chainsaws at you?

    • hayeksplosives

      I’m beginning to suspect this “Brochettaward” is a leftist/socialist politician.

      Hear me out. He:

      1) Professes to be superior to us ordinary folk trying to make a living and take care of our families, even to the point of openly mocking up.
      2) Makes grandiose promises of what he will bring us, making sure that we know that it’s not that we deserve it, but that it’s only out of his beneficence/ pity that we will receive his “gifts”.
      3) Won’t be pinned down on when we will receive his “gift” or even see it come to fruition (for better or for worse), but milks his self-sacrifice for all its worth, far more than the typical Burning Martyr syndrome that afflicts anon-zero percentage of pregnant self-centered twats.
      4) Maintains his false pregnancy fiction despite total lack of evidence that a First is on the way
      5) Has not posted pics of himself on Instagram caressing his burgeoning baby bump(TM DailyMail)

      Hmmm… or maybe he’s just a professional weatherman.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve just been ignoring him.

      • Brochettaward

        If you people would stop clinging to your guns and bibles, I could lead you to the promised land of the First Realm. You could be the chosen people. The New Glib Men.

  19. UnCivilServant

    Why the fuck to helpdesk agents never read the information you put in the fucking ticket?!

    I already gave you every goddamn piece of information you just asked for!

  20. Yusef drives a Kia

    Getting a no power service at 1 am sucks, but you have to go, now i have to get up at 5 to get service back, being a manager sucks!

    • Trigger Hippie

      No rest for the wicked!

  21. Trigger Hippie

    Almost eight hours without power, fourty-five degrees and dropping to the mid thirties. No real danger here but it’s time to finish off that steak in my warming fridge and add a final layer of bedding.

    See ya!

  22. Brochettaward

    Urban Meyer has been fired. Long live Urban Meyer.

  23. rhywun

    A dirt-bike (?) is doing donuts in the intersection outside my bedroom window.

    I guess it’s time for the neighborhood to get up.

    Oh neat, he moved to the next corner and is doing it again. How useful.

    • Sean

      Someone needs a gift of the gun.

    • PieInTheSky

      To be fair what is the point of having a bike if you do not wake up the neighborhood ?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Good god, I’d lose my shit.

      • rhywun

        Losin’ it.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Study? Just look at the UHaul rental rates to and from Cali and you’ll know that’s the case.

    • hayeksplosives

      Not my fault! I’m just a canary in the coal mine.

      I’m glad some schlub is buying my Cali house. He’s moving from one San Diego place to another.

      Why the house prices there continue to skyrocket baffles me.

      • Fourscore

        Supply-demand. I understand the supply shortage but don’t understand why the demand. I’m guessing SD has amenities that the rest of CA doesn’t have.

      • hayeksplosives

        SD is far and away the most sane city in California, largely due to the military presence (including large numbers of retired Navy/Marine vets who remember it fondly).

        You can still find lots of mask-defying restaurants and shops, and suburban political races are competitive.

        This will probably change with time, especially as the military squeezes out troops who won’t bend the knee. And there started to be more homeless encampments in the past year, like LA and San Fran.

        Such a waste of a beautiful state.

    • Ghostpatzer

      “Peculiar Missouri”

      The strangest things happen there.

      • Fourscore

        “It’s a peculiar little town”

        Been there a number of times , stayed overnight with an old friend once. Always filled up with gas on the southside so I could take the north loop around KC and get on I-35 north bound.

  24. PieInTheSky

    Goddamnit I am bored of my job. I need a long vacation.

    What is up with y’all glibbies ?

    • PieInTheSky

      Also I wish I had someone to create testcases for me. I am doing the specs based on calls, I am writing the code and doing all the testing. It would be good to have a second pair of eyes before things go productive.

    • PieInTheSky

      Actually I do not need a long vacation I need 10 million dollars and to quit the job

      • Tulip

        ^^^this

      • robodruid

        I think we could all be happier with that.

      • Fourscore

        You really don’t need 10M. You need a small fishing boat, some good equipment and a wife with a job. If you have a good friend with a fishing boat you won’t need that. If you don’t have that friend a dog would do, they love to sit for hours and watch.

      • Ghostpatzer

        “a wife with a job”

        This is why I robbed the cradle when I got hitched.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Pie, Tulip, Sean, and rhy!

      Yesterday at work I was so bored, yet so keen on avoiding writing up the minutes of a quarterly meeting that I started scanning, then shredding old payroll files (2017 and early 2018) to make room in my file drawers.

      There’s going to be a lot of stuff to do at my job in the next few weeks. It’s just not time to do it yet.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, U! How are you today?

      • UnCivilServant

        Grumpy, cantakerous, borderline depressed.

      • Gender Traitor

        ? Wish I knew some way to cheer you up.

      • UnCivilServant

        Get Gov Kathy to drop the Covidiocy.

      • UnCivilServant

        Realistically, I can cope with the rest of my stressors. It’s the rumors about the possibility of a shot or sack mandate that are my biggest mental problem.

      • Ghostpatzer

        “Get Gov Kathy to drop the Covidiocy dead.”

        Note to FBI lurker: not a real threat.

      • rhywun

        Yesterday I was so bored I took the mandatory “bribery” training.

      • Gender Traitor

        Great! Now you know how to bribe with the best of them! ?

        I did that too – took the monthly computer security training. This month it was “safety in The Cloud.” I think it took all of five minutes, including the two-question quiz.

      • UnCivilServant

        How to stay safe in the cloud – Stay out of the cloud.

        One of our vendors has a tech whose zoom avatar says “There’s no such thing as the cloud – it’s just someone else’s computer”. It is basically all you need to know. Since it’s someone else’s computer, you no longer control any of the important parts, and getting your data back may be a pain, so stay out of it.

      • Ghostpatzer

        “Stay out of the cloud.”

        Like everything else in tech, it depends. Cloud vendors like Google and Amazon know how to manage huge amounts of data, so if your organization has a few petabytes lying around, you might want to utilize their expertise rather than dealing with it yourself. Small shop? Home? No fucking way.

      • UnCivilServant

        The moment you are trapped in their datacenter, the price goes up.

        Happens time and time again.

      • Ghostpatzer

        “The moment you are trapped in their datacenter, the price goes up.”

        Actually that’s really difficult to determine. You need a full time staff of math whizzes to figure out what Google’s charges are. There is a charge for data storage, pretty straightforward, then there is a charge for “compute nodes” used to actually access that data. Typically the number of nodes adapts on the fly to the requirements, and IIRC a tiered model is used for charges. Sitting through the training for this, I thanked my lucky stars that I did not have to deal with the financials.

      • UnCivilServant

        Being closer to the billing and financial side, I can tell you that the initial numbers will look good, but they ensure as much vendor lock in as possible, then expire any discounts that got you into the cloud and raise the base rates.

        This isn’t speculation, it’s something we’ve seen several groups fall into.

      • robodruid

        + 1 common sense

      • Fourscore

        I seem to have that in short supply.

        Good morning to all, I’ve been up for an hour, the mega storm looks to be over rated. Might be a little icy, something for me to avoid.

      • Sean

        Mornin!

  25. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    Who want to take me out behind the garage and shoot me ?

    • Gender Traitor

      You still suffering, poor baby?? ?

      • Tres Cool

        Another morning with a 101.1 fever.
        Its been a week. This shit is tiresome.

      • Tres Cool

        And, last week I had made brisket and a chuck roast for Jugsy since she was going to be home over the weekend.
        Since that didnt happen and theyve been in the fridge for essentially 2 weeks…..out they went to Rumpke.
        That may hurt worse than my ribs.

      • Ghostpatzer

        You made a chuck roast AND ribs?

      • Tres Cool

        The roast was a cut that had been sitting around, and I NEEDED to use it.
        If ya dig.

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh, the humanity bovinity! ?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Is it too late to try horse paste?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Seriously though, hope you feel better.

      • Tres Cool

        I was told by friends that nearly every OTC place here is out.
        And since Im being treated by VA, I truly doubt they’ll cough it up.
        I shoulda prepped better.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Damn. I hope the codeine is ameliorating some of the suffering.

  26. Ghostpatzer

    Mornin’, fellow reprobates. Another fire drill at the shop yesterday. I fool them, had the day off; the guy who was on vacation for the last one had to deal with it. Karma, bitchez!

    • hayeksplosives

      Morning!

      My goofy company announced our fire drill would be Monday, so just about everyone worked from home that day. Then yesterday morning they told us to stay home because of the “wintry mix” and wind.

      Today I’m determined to go in person; I need to show up for a new badge and fingerprints.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m getting fingerprinted for the job I currently have friday.

        I’ve only been in the title since 2012…

      • Ghostpatzer

        “I need to show up for a new badge and fingerprints

        Uh-oh. What did you do now?

      • hayeksplosives

        I guess I didn’t do enough wrong yet. I’m getting “a different color badge.”

    • Ghostpatzer

      Sad to see such animosity. I hope they bury the hatchet someday.

      • Fourscore

        Not mentioned was the TP shortage in DC, to clean up the mess