Tokyo Gore Police (In original Japanese with subtitles)
Wait. This is a Japanese film? WTF does that have to do with Kung Fu Christmas?
You caught me there. This is a Japanese horror film, not a Chinese Kung Fu Film. This one just popped up in the newly added queue, and I felt a need to immediately review it in case it got yanked.
Why would someone yank this film prematurely? Are my fears unjustified? Read on to find out.
IMDB actually put my usual excited movie descriptions together for me. I embellished a little: Oral Sex! J-sploitation! Limbless dog woman! Stabby needles! Bodily integrity Issues! Bullet shooting penises! In the future, a woman working for a privatized police force (Libertopia reference) searches for the killer of her father. She discovers Engineers, who genetically modify people into monsters (of a sexual nature). I will tell you this movie starts strong and keeps going. Not a slow moment here. Just action, action, action! It makes following what little plot there is difficult.
This film follows in a great Japanese horror tradition. And no, I am not talking about The Ring Series. Yes, The Ring was a great film. But it is not the bloody, perverse horror sub-genre I intend to drag you all through today. This film covers a lot of the phobias you may find on this master list of phobias. Primarily Dysmorphophobia. Honestly I thought there was a phobia just for mutilation. I was unable to find it on that list. So I went for deformation. Another fun thing about these films is how many trigger warnings it could generate (trigger warning: the person who put this list together seriously expects people to use it)! This film has a lot of company, as you will see below. Once thing you will notice on this list is that only one of the films I listed below is available on Tubi. Hence my desire to review this quickly.
- Ichi the Killer: Considered the grandaddy of them all, this movie blends horror, some comedy and a ton of blood and gore to tell the story of a sadistic Yakuza enforcer who has many creative ways to torture his victims. Very much worth seeing, if you have not. I can unfortunately only provide the trailer here. A guy named Takashi Miike directed Ichi the Killer. He didn’t invent this sub-genre, but his was incredibly prolific, made his own low budget films and was a major influence in paving the way for the sub-genre we are discussing here today.
- Meatball Machine: Alien parasites turn people into horribly creative Necro-Borgs. I have provided a full movie link for this one. Our movie tonight has a similar theme of bodily parasites and mutilation. In fact all of these movies have that in common.
- Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl: I also have this in DVD, somewhere. I can at least provide the trailer.
- Machine Girl: Girl gets a bionic machine gun arm, hilarity ensues! Trailer provided.
- Mutant Girls Squad: Tough mutant girls form a squad to defeat evil! Somebody gets fisted with a sword! I am providing the trailer in the link.
What do all of these films have in common, besides perversion? Yoshihiro Nishimura was a common thread for almost all of these movies. He did the makeup for them, until Tokyo Gore Police. He fully directed Tokyo Gore Police, supposedly in an incredible two weeks! My assumption is that means the filming took two weeks. The sets, the costumes, the special effects most definitely took longer than that, unless the man is Filmmaker Jesus.
Well, it’s time for the schtick. I was so excited to introduce people to this sub-genre of films I wrote 600 words in a matter of minutes. Watch it or don’t! Everything is voluntary!
Next week I return with actual Kung Fu Christmas – your first present to unwrap is The Nine Venoms. That’s right – not the famous Five Deadly Venoms. Flying vampire skulls! Kung Fu! Horrible Dubbing! Film edit butchery! This is a wonderful film that was unfortunately edited and dubbed by maniacs. If you can find an uncorrupted copy it is definitely worth it.
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After you click the link for the weekly movie, hit the Play button on the movie and you should get the screen shown below. The guest option may require scrolling up to see. Click the circled guest option to watch the film.
(h/t: The Hyperbole)
Popped up.
Pulled.
Yanked.
We see what you’ve done.
Bullet shooting penii?
Interesting.
I’m going to try the dubbed version.
The intro seems innocent enough.
There we go.
That’s a bit much cutting for just some attention getting.
I always wondered at the inefficiency of that saw. Should he change the blade or something? Harbor Freight has cheap circular saw blades…
Movie magic: Cops hit their target.
This opening fight reminds me of my introduction to anime. A former roommate showed me “Fist of the North Star”. He described it as “Japanese animators had too much red ink”.
The Gore Police, inside of my head….
2 points for a Cheap Trick reference.
Ads already? Shit.
After reading all that I don’t have time to watch the movie.
I got excited writing this up. I will keep it under 450 next time.
These articles have more enthusiasm than a Trump rally. ?
Well, I saw Ichi The Killer, anyway.
Wait a minute…. left hand drive Japanese vehicle? This screws with my suspension of disbelief.
It looks like they’re driving on the left. OK.
It’s a Saab? Oh. That probably explains the left hand drive.
All police cars should have little pagoda tops.
I got your pagoda top right here. NSFWallet, bring a trailer, or both.
I wouldn’t mind having one.
That is a fucked up birthday party surprise.
Yes. Welcome to where the movie gets weird.
DEG has turned this into a one man show. It’s like watching a guy masturbate in a house of mirrors.
Sort of like you, only actually funny.
I’m only funny in my dreams.
That is a very…. neat and tidy murder scene.
Stylish wrist cutters? Oh boy.
At least they’re to die for.
I think I moved too far ahead. I am at the head sprinkler scene. I am working off a laptop today instead of a TV. I was going to mention I met the director and some of the actors at Texas Frightmare Weekend years ago, right after this came out. Nice people. I went long on copy so I decided to mention it here.
I like that umbrella sword.
I like the poster.
That’s the one I have.
Bloodkake?
Exactly
More ads, and I have to join a Zoom soon. I’ll pause here and resume tomorrow.
Thanks!
Thanks for putting this together!
I did the Wayne A Root interview. It was fine. He was actually pretty knowledgable on the issue.
I think it went well. Hard to see how that could be twisted in any way.
I have no idea where to find it, but it was perhaps 10 minutes of back and forth. He was polite, a little more focused on VAERS and injuries than is our legal focus, but he let me speak.
I’ll take the free air time on that subject.
Do you know what hour you were on? I seemed to have tracked down his radio show’s archives. So far I only see “Hour 3 Segment 2” listed for today. This seems to be the place.
If a link crops up I will watch it.
I shall look for it and post a link When I do, Great Work Ozy!
Thanks OZY, keep on truckin’. One day Tucker or Rand will pick it up and get some national attention.
Good to hear it!
Haha yes.
I haven’t seen Tokyo Gore Police in a while. To paraphrase ace over at AoSHQ, “these Tokyo police seem really bad at their main job of policing gore”. I have Ichi the Killer on blu ray. I have a torrented copy of Machine Girl that I’ve watched a few times.
I can see by the description and the comments that this is NOT my kind of movie at all.
Thank you for accurately describing it so that people can find it if they want to or give it a wide berth.
Heh I might pull it up if work doesn’t interfere.
OK work interfered slightly but reverting that fucked up production release can apparently wait until tomorrow so here goes nothin’.
You are welcome. Next week is a lot more fun and no gore.
I may have commented something to that effect recently. Overly empathetic people or people with real life experience do not find it so.
I want to avoid that sort of thing. My wife is something of a fan. From her point of view I understand. She can watch whatever she wants, I will go find something else to do. I dont want to see people doing horrible things to each other on TV.
I also appreciate the heads up R.J. but really the movie title gave it away.
This supply chain thing is getting serious. Costco didn’t have any Kerrygold butter in stock.
I thought them Irish had all been bevaxxed. They should be fine.
Yeah, but all the Kerrygold is stuck in container ships off the US coast…
Live footage from Creepy Joe’s handlers lair:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKUOB8MN4Kc
Glibs After Dark.
https://archive.md/bO4ga
NSFW.
Today, last work day of the week) we got a mass email from the company President. This is at a federal contractor, btw.
“The gist of if was that this was the deadline to comply with the COVID vaccine mandate, and so they had terminated the employment of anyone who: 1) failed to disclose vaxx status, 2) attested that they wouldn’t get the vaxx by the fed deadline, or 3) were granted a religious or medical exemption but “have declined the accommodations offered”—whatever that means.
Yikes. So even though the Biden administration is losing legal cases all over the place, and even though they pushed the federal deadline out several more weeks, my company stuck to the original deadline.
I want to know what the “accommodations” were for medical and religious exemptions: weekly tests? Masks all the time? Seems like there was no category to recognize natural immunity gained by people who recovered from confirmed positive cases of Covid, which is ridiculous.
Forget it , Hayek. It’s Brandon town. Don’t try to make sense of it.
^^^This
If only there were a word to capture when private enterprise and government bundled together to enforce mandates…
Faceism?
Fashion?
Fasciagasm?
Aww forget it…
Faggot?
I might be shopping around for a lawyer were I forced to make such a choice – job or vaccine that is neither safe nor effective. I will make my own medical decisions, thank you very much Mr. Bossman.
I got the J & J in June knowing that I’d have to get one to satisfy the federal contractor thing, and I figured that one shot was easier than two, and J & J seemed more “normal.”
Back in June, not long ago, it was “Just get the vaccine and we can all get back to normal.”
HA! Now we see there might be annual boosters (or more often) and masking in public places might never go away. So the only positive of my giving in was that I get to stay employed…for now.
I’m on your team, Suthen
I might be shopping around for a lawyer were I forced to make such a choice
Wife wants me to do exactly that, for if they can me for being unvaxxed. I’m more on the “use the opportunity to disappear into the countryside and live a quiet life outside the watchful eye of Big Brother” side of things.
Probably masks all the time and periodic testing.
This is a pure blood household.
Imho, Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl is the best out of those mentioned. The comedy isn’t self-parody like Machine Girl or Mutant Girls Squad. As far as I can tell, it’s making fun of Japanese culture. It also has much more of a plot than most New Japanese Gore. (Ichi the Klller or Meatball Machine don’t have much comedy, just gratuitous gore.)
Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl was made by some of the same people who made Rape Zombie: Lust of the Dead — which was pretty much all about being gratuitous. Much of it is like weird softcore porn. I think it had four sequels.
Then there are obvious parodies such as Big Tits Dragon: Hot Tub Zombies vs. Strippers 5 (there is no 1 through 4), where most of the actresses are pornstars. And Dead Sushi, which isn’t that graphic, but makes fun of a bunch of Japanese horror tropes.
Dead Sushi is a fun one.
Oh, it totally is!
I think some of the NJG kind of falls flat in trying to be outrageous. For example, Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead.
Dead Sushi doesn’t try to out do things in regards to gore and nudity, but rather pokes fun at earlier kaiju and ghost movies.
LOL
And I thought tonight’s feature was kind of ridiculous.
Well, they both are, but Tokyo Gore Police is a way better movie.
Toilet of the Dead! I was about to ask if you remembered the title of that crap fest! I could tell you about the plot but just could not remember the title.
Despite being ridiculous, Big Tits Dragon: Hot Tub Zombies vs. Strippers 5 is worth a watch, though.
Is it as good as Yakuza Apocalypse?
If only there were a word to capture when private enterprise and government bundled together to enforce mandates…
Bipartisanship?
Wow. I finally got it. R.J. is Harvey Cthulhu.
Next time you see Doomcock, tell him I said ‘hi’, and I hope he destroys all who oppose him.
Incorrect! I only post or comment on this one site.
Keeping you safe
President Joe Biden on Thursday said his plan to fight Covid during the winter months will not include new lockdowns or an expansion of the administration’s current vaccination requirements.
“It doesn’t include shutdowns or lockdowns, but widespread vaccinations and boosters and testing a lot more,” Biden told reporters during an update.
“And while my existing federal vaccination requirements are being reviewed by the courts, this plan does not expand or add to those mandates — a plan that all Americans hopefully can rally around, and it should get bipartisan support, in my humble opinion,” the president said.
As soon as we can get those pesky judges put in their place, it will be mandatory jabs for everybody.
Ah, the same lies they told when they said there was not just no plans for mandates, but it was absurd to even consider the possibility because of course vaccines could never be required.
I hate the way the Main Stream Media serves up the “facts” with words to the effect that Biden is being “tough” or “proactive” and “fighting” Covid, like he’s defending our nation against a marauding horde.
They might as well airbrush his face into that pic of Putin horse riding shirtless.
Biden “tough”. Puh-lease. He’s got that tissue paper skin.
It’s weird. At major events he’s kind of got his shit together but at minor events like some random appearance I saw on TV tonight he looks like the Crypt Keeper.
biden uses too many weasel words and has a history of 180’s on a dime and ignoring the courts. The lockdowns are coming. I fear the boxcars to the camps aren’t far behind.
+1 Australia
Fourscore, I was working a lot today and didn’t get to read your article until just now. I enjoyed hearing about the trips and the tradition you developed. My grandfather really enjoyed fishing and I liked to go when he’d take me with him, but never caught the fishing bug like he had it. Maybe someday I’ll give it a try again–I have two of his rod/reel rigs and his tackle box still…
Sorry, I missed the movie. However, I recently watched “Tokyo Vampire Hotel” (the series) on Amazon. That was very weird and left me with more questions than answers. But was visually stunning.
Thank goodness Biden’s fading memory isn’t interfering with him lying about his accomplishments.
https://twitchy.com/sarahd-313035/2021/12/02/its-not-a-lie-if-he-believes-it-joe-biden-describes-the-time-he-went-to-israel-and-met-with-golda-meir-during-the-six-day-war-even-though-he-didnt-video/
Hey, don’t diss his truth, man!
No one saw that coming.
https://dailycaller.com/2021/12/02/university-pennsylvania-lia-thomas-transgender-swimmer/
In the phot shown with the caption about xer shattering the women’s record, xe does not appear to be wearing a top to xer swimsuit. Is that allowed for flat chested chicks or are there “uniform” rules?
Honestly, this sports thing is just being used to troll cis-women and traditional feminists. The only way trans people should be allowed to compete is in a third category, “trans” or “gender neutral”. Otherwise clearly women will be eliminated from women’s sports.
Yep, a trans category or against men if they can cut it. If this keeps up all the women’s sports records will be held by dudes who couldn’t cut it on a men’s team and the female competitors have to smile and swallow it or be labeled a bigot. It’s insanity.
I’ve been trying to encourage my husband to get a hobby, and it looks like he’s trying! I didn’t know it, but he applied to the local Elks Lodge and went through their interview and vetting process. His initiation and following social is on Monday, so I’m going to leave work early and be his “plus one.”
Also, unbeknownst to me, he bought a smoker! He’s been smoking a brisket all day. He’s never done it before so he’s going by Internet videos and recipes.
I will be supportive and eat it no matter what, but I’m hoping it will be tasty. Haven’t had a good brisket in a while. These days, what gets served as “brisket” at BBQ joints is usually pulled beef shreds in sauce. That ain’t brisket.
This area is too “deserty” for pronghorn, so I have to keep buying meat for now…
I’ve been going to the local cash & carry (now US Foods Chefstore) and been eying their meat cuts. Got a pork tenderloin last week and I think it was better tasting and quality than the butcher shop I usually use. Their briskets look good but good lord that’s enough meat to feed an army. This is my favorite video so far
https://youtu.be/ETZcTb_m_As
Haven’t bought a cut or the pink butcher paper.
“what gets served as “brisket” at BBQ joints is usually pulled beef shreds in sauce.”
Hate crimes.
what gets served as “brisket” at BBQ joints is usually pulled beef shreds in sauce
Maybe outside the south or in chain restaurants, but ’round here brisket is mostly done right.
That is fantastic news!
Are you going to teach us the secret hoofshake?
https://youtu.be/qzEoBrr9gRA
Hah!
“It looked like a huge man’s penis with two heads.”
https://dailycaller.com/2021/12/02/housekeeper-jeffrey-epstein-massage-maxwell-ghislaine/
That’s a fun quote. I’ll have to look on Twitter for memes when I get to work.
https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2021/12/03/philadelphia-road-rage-shooting-deadly-gun-violence-roosevelt-boulevard/
2 for 2. Paging ES…
https://www.inquirer.com/news/philadelphia-homicide-temple-suspect-latif-williams-20211201.html
17 years old.
Previously car jacked someone at gunpoint. He shouldn’t have been on the street.
Larry Krasner should be in jail, but Philly gets what they voted for. ?
https://www.nj.com/coronavirus/2021/12/republicans-defy-covid-vaccine-policy-at-the-nj-statehouse-ignoring-troopers-who-tried-to-stop-them.html
You’re in NJ. It’s already a lost cause. Move.
https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2021/12/01/exclusive-tool-to-enforce-orwellian-rules-80-house-republicans-help-pass-bill-to-fund-federal-vaccination-database/
Those bastards need to be primaried out of office.
A truer sign that they’re either completely unaware of their constituents’ wishes or that they just DGAF about their constituents’ wishes has never been given. It’s the domestic equivalent of whoever you vote for you get McCain except this time you get Fauci.
Thanks for the submission, R.J. Also I must say, I’m really enjoying the awfulness of Danger 5. It’s a good way to make my wife leave the living room too. I put in on, and she just “nopes” right out of the room. 🙂
Happy Friday, everyone!
….and always remember kill Hitler!
I love the drink recipe shtick too.
suh’ fam
whats goody
Current titty status: calm
Mine are calm too. The only times that I’m not screaming like a tea kettle are when I’m actually working or on Glibs. The afternoon following is usually a different kettle of fish. Work is cool. My clients appreciate my efforts and I get to surreptitiously eye up young and not-so-young tomaters. Turn on that patented Festus charm! Fuck me my life is bleak…
Hey Fes, did you get your work conflict resolved?
Good mornin’, y’all,
Been awake since 3 AM, finally got up and now having a cup of coffee. Looks like a little snow for the week end then cold for a couple days.
I’ll get a nap today for sure.
Good morning, 4(20) – and Stinky, homey, TARDy, ‘sloper, & Sean! So glad to have you join us pre-AM Lynx regulars, 4(20), but sorry for the reason.
We had uncommonly good weather in SW OH yesterday, so I took the afternoon off work and we took advantage of the pleasant conditions to… clean the gutters.
supposed to be nice today & tomorrow too
::checks local forecast:: Great! No rain ’til Sunday! Maybe I’ll finally get my butt out of the house to do some Christmas shopping tomorrow!
Christmas shopping? Bleah. That’s what the internet is for.
I’m going to sit outside in my shorts and read all weekend.
::shrugs:: I’m going to TRY to support a couple of local businesses – a nearby new/used book store and a little clothing boutique up the street, if I can find anything good, and at some point our nearby B&M B&N.* Just shopping for my sisters & BIL, mainly. Some years I’m tempted to say, “Why don’t we stop exchanging gifts?” but my oldest sister seems to relish it, so I don’t want to be That Sister.
*bricks & mortar Barnes & Noble
If you want to be quirky and like the idea of journals made from old textbooks, Ive gotten gifts for my “cerebral” friends here:
bookjournals.com
I just turned the whole thing down to “Ignore” some years ago. I love all (most) of you. Have your celebration but I’m out. Festus is not The Grinch, he just needs to be left in peace. I won’t be bridling up the Pomeranian and riding down the mountain to ruin your fun.
A Pom?
I always figured it was some sort of terrier.
Christmas around here (chez moi) ain’t too exciting. We never need anything, we have way too much stuff now. We buy as we want ’cause we don’t want much.
Mrs F is getting a pillow from my TV buddy, Mike L. because she is always looking for something that is a panacea.
One granddaughter and husband will come for Xmas Eve, one time a year event but better’n nuthin’.
Live goes on…
One Grand-daughter is better than none!
“Watch Cops Seize Combat Vet’s Life Savings”
https://youtu.be/MkeS_0NQUZs
Interesting vid showing a seizure of cash with no accusation of crime or wrongdoing. When they ask to search say “no” but of course y’all already know that.
“No” only breeds contempt in the heart of the pig. Its also their excuse to have the dog scratch up your paint whilst sniffing around.
Mornin’, all.
Fourscore, naps are good. Enjoy.
You’re in NJ. It’s already a lost cause.
True, but it still warms my black heart to finally see some defiance of Murphy by the pachyderms. About 18 months too late, but still…
https://pagesix.com/2021/12/02/demi-lovato-is-sober-sober-after-being-california-sober/
The story reeks of stupidity. But Demi Lovato is not the dumbest part of it.
“They explained at the time that it was their choice to continue with moderate weed and alcohol intake following their near-fatal overdose in July 2018.”
Journalism 2021. What have they done to my poor pronouns?
I confess I have trouble getting into the proper Christmas spirit these days. This tune gets me out of the doldrums.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UqZ1O0YhY5Q
Gah! Free Jazz! Hissssssss
That’s the spirit, Festy!
I love you Patzy but that grates nearly as bad as rap.
Ha! It’s been four days and still no testing mandate. How much you wanna bet that all this bullshit has sprung from some HR functionary’s desk-pile? They can’t lose me. *insert He-Man GIF*
The endless BULLSHIT!
Tyrants.
13 minutes. Worth a listen. https://youtu.be/gVk9PDFtTDM
Pretty good, but depressing.