Wednesday Afternoon SugarLinks – bored bored bored

by | Dec 22, 2021 | Daily Links | 325 comments

Nitemare Hippie Girl

 

New Age Girl

 

Stupid Girl

 

Heroin Girl

 

Just A Girl

 

Material Girl

 

Nasty Girl

Think of more in the comments!


As for the story, the first and second songs, the ones that sent me down the “________ Girl” spiral, always make me think of my favorite passage from one of my favorite novels, The Rules of Attraction by Bret Easton Ellis. (I have wiped the terrible movie from my mind.)

SEAN Sitting in class, staring at the desk, someone’s carved “Whatever Happened To Hippie Love?” I guess the first girl I kind of liked at Camden was this hippie I met my Freshman year. She was really stupid but so gorgeous and so insatiable in bed that I couldn’t help myself. I had met her once, before I fucked her, at a party off-campus my first term. The hippie had offered me some pot and I was drunk so I smoked it. I was so drunk in fact and the pot was so bad that I threw up in the backyard and passed out in some girl’s car who had brought me. I was embarrassed but not really, even though the girl who drove was pissed off since I lost it again all over the backseat of her Alfa Romeo on the way back to campus, and was jealous since she could tell that the hippie and I had been making eyes at each other all night, and had seen the hippie even kiss me before I left to throw up in back.

I really got to meet her the following term when another person I knew when I first came to Camden (and who had been a hippie but quit) introduced us at a party at my urging. I cringed, mortified, when to my shock I realized I had been in the hippie’s Intro to Poetry Workshop my first term and this girl on the first day of class, so high her head looked like it was on springs, like some doped-up jack-in-the-box, raised her hand and said slowly, “This class is a total mindfuck.” I dropped the class, disconcerted, but still wanting to fuck the hippie.

This was the Eighties, I kept thinking. How could there be any hippies left? I knew no hippies when I was growing up in New York. But here was a hippie, from a small town in Pennsylvania, no less. A hippie who was not too tall, who had long blond hair, features sharp, not soft like one would expect a hippie’s features to resemble, yet distant, too. And the skin smooth as brown marble and as clean. She always seemed clean; in fact she seemed abnormally healthy. A hippie who would say things like, “None of your beeswax,” or commenting on food, “This is really mellow chili.” A hippie who would bring her own chopsticks to every meal. A hippie who had a cat named Tahini.

JIMI LIVES was painted in big purple letters on her door. She was constantly stoned. Her favorite question was “Are you high?” She wore tie-dyed shirts. She had beautiful smallish firm tits. She wore bell-bottoms and tried to learn how to play the sitar but she was always too stoned. She tried to dress me up one night: bell-bottoms, tie-dyed shirt, headband. Didn’t work. It was extremely embarrassing. She said “beautiful” constantly. She didn’t have any goals. I read the poetry she’d write and lied that I liked it. She had a BMW 2002. She carried a bong in a tie-dyed satchel that she had made herself.

Like all rich hippies (for this hippie was extremely wealthy; her father owned VISA or something) she spent a lot of time following The Dead around. She’d simply split school for a week with other rich hippies and they’d follow them around New England, stoned out of their minds, reserving rooms and suites at Holiday Inns and Howard Johnsons and Ramada Inns, making sure to always have enough Blue Dragon or MDA or MDMA or Ecstasy. She’d come back from these excursions ecstatic, claiming that she was indeed one of Jerry’s long lost children; that her mother had made some sort of mistake before she married the VISA guy, that she truly was one of “Jerry’s kids.” I guess she was one of Jerry’s kids, though I wasn’t sure which kind.

There were problems.

The hippie kept telling me I was too stiff, too uptight. And because of this the hippie and I broke up before the end of term. (I don’t know if that’s the real reason, but looking back it seems weird that we even bothered since the sex was so good.) It came to an end one night when I told her, “I think this is not working.” She was. stoned. I left her at the party after we made out in her room upstairs at Dewey House. I went home with her best friend. She never knew or realized it.

The hippie was always tripping, which bothered me too. The hippie was always trying to get me to trip with her. I remembered the one time I did trip with her I saw the devil: it was my mother. I was also sort of amazed that she even liked me in the first place. I would ask her if she’d ever read much Hemingway. (I don’t know why I asked her about him since I never had read that much.) She would tell me about Allen Ginsberg and Gertrude Stein and Joan Baez. I asked her if she had read Howl (which I had only heard about through some crazy class called Poetry and the Fifties, which I failed) and she said, “No. Sounds harsh.”

The last time I saw the hippie I was reading an article on the postmodern condition (this was when I was a Lit major, before I became a Ceramics major, before I became a Social Science major) for some class I failed in some stupid magazine called The New Left, and she was sitting on the floor of the smoking section, stoned, looking at the pictures in the novelization of the movie Hair with some other girl. She looked up at me and giggled then slowly waved. “Beautiful,” she said, turning a page, smiling.

“Yeah. Beautiful,” I said.

“I can dig it,” the hippie told me after I read some of her haiku and told her I didn’t get it. The hippie told me to read The Tale of Genji (all of her friends had read it) but “You have to read it stoned,” she warned. The hippie also had been to Europe. France was “cool” and India was “groovy” but Italy wasn’t cool. I didn’t ask why Italy wasn’t, but I was intrigued why India was “groovy.”

“The people are beautiful,” she said.

“Physically?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“Spiritually?” I asked.

“Uh-huh.”

“How spiritually?”

“They were groovy.”

I started liking the word “groovy” and the word “wow.” Wow. Spoken low, with no exclamation, eyes half-closed, fucking, how the hippie said it.

The hippie cried when Reagan won (the only other time I’d seen her cry was when the school dropped the yoga classes and replaced them with aerobics), even though I had explained patiently, carefully, what the outcome of the election was going to be, weeks in advance. We were on my bed and we were listening to a Bob Dylan record I had bought in town a week earlier, and she just said, sadly, “Fuck me,” and I fucked the hippie.

One day I asked the hippie why she liked me since I was so different from her. She was eating pita bread and bean sprouts and writing on a napkin with a purple pen, a request for the comment board in the dining hall: More Tofu Please. She said, “Because you’re beautiful.”

I got fed up with the hippie and pointed to a fat girl across the room who had written something nasty about me on the laundry room wall; who had come up to me at a Friday night party and said, “You’d be gorgeous if you were five inches taller.”

“Is she beautiful?” I asked.

She looked up, bean sprout stuck on lower lip, squinted and said, “Yeah.”

“That bitch over there?” I asked, pointing, appalled.

“Oh her. I thought you meant that sister over there,” she said.

I looked around. “Sister? What sister? No, her,” exasperated, I pointed at the girl; mean-looking, fat, black sunglasses, a bitch.

“Her?” the hippie asked.

“Yeah. Her.”

“She’s beautiful too,” she said, drawing a daisy next to the message on the napkin.

“What about him?” I pointed to a guy who it was rumored had actually caused his girlfriend to kill herself and everyone knew. There was no way in hell the hippie could think that he, this fucking monster, was beautiful.

“Him? He’s beautiful.”

“Him? Beautiful? He killed his fucking girlfriend. Ran her over,” I said.

“No way,” the hippie grinned.

“Yes! It’s true. Ran her straight over with a car,” I said, excited.

She just shook her lovely, empty head. “Oh man.”

“Can’t you make distinctions?” I asked her. “I mean, our sex is great, but how can everything, everyone be beautiful? Don’t you understand that that means no one is beautiful?”

“Listen, man,” the hippie said. “What are you getting at?”

She looked at me, not grinning. The hippie could be sharp. What was I getting at?

I didn’t know. All I know was that the sex was terrific.

And that the hippie was cute. She loved sweet pickles. She liked the name Willie. She even liked Apocalypse Now. She was not a vegetarian. These were all on the plus side. But, once I introduced her to my friends, at the time, and they were all stuck-up asshole Lit majors and they made fun of her and she understood what was going on and her eyes, usually blue, too blue, vacant, were sad. And I protected her. I took her away from them. (“Spell Pynchon,” they asked her, cracking up.) And she introduced me to her friends. And we ended up sitting on some Japanese pillows in her room and we all smoked some pot and this little hippie girl with a wreath on her head, looked at me as I held her and said, “The world blows my mind.” And you know what?

I fucked her anyway.

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

325 Comments

    • Chafed

      The royal potato gets it.

      • Chafed

        I’m surprised YouTube hasn’t pulled it down. It has bad words and bad thoughts.

  1. Ownbestenemy

    Oh young Gwen….and to think, that whole album is written about her breakup with her bandmate.

    • Nephilium

      I much prefer the other side for songs about breakups with Gwen.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Better break up song when its a Gwen

      • EvilSheldon

        Do you ever think about how much the guys in No Doubt must hate being called ‘the guys in No Doubt?’

        Also, the guys in No Doubt formed a synthpop group with Davey Havoc from A.F.I., called Dreamcar. They’re pretty good.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Old punk A.F.I. or whinny depressing AFI?

      • SugarFree

        American Film Institute

      • limey

        larf

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ES: yes, as one is a name on The Simpsons credits. Damn dementia…

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        er, brother thereof. QED.

    • Ownbestenemy
    • SugarFree

      Shit. I thought of that one when I got the idea and forget about it. Good one.

    • Translucent Chum

      That’ was also track # 69 on the original CD. You had skip all the way to get to it.

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      She’s like heroin to me
      https://youtu.be/FOkG_lW3pUg

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Ah yeah, good one…that whole damn album’s great.

      • CatchTheCarp

        Indeed, great album. I love this amazing fan made video.

        Sex Beat

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        That’s cool. Zwak approved.

  2. Rat on a train
    • rhywun

      Classic ?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        An often requested song on 91X.

      • rhywun

        And CFNY.

  3. Rebel Scum
    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Great song

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      If you don’t know about Mojo Nixon then your store could use some fixin’.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        WELL NO WE ONLY HAVE IT ICED

    • Ted S.

      My first thought was this.

    • Fourscore

      Finally some class (of about ’55), Thanks GT, even if my name isn’t Bobbie

      • Fourscore

        Thanks GT, Late ’50s-early ’60s I spent some time in NJ, all the youngsters were Four seasons/Frankie Valli fans

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Not what I was expecting at all.

      • Nephilium

        Not all skins are Oi skins.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Some are Hajis

  4. Ownbestenemy

    Women…that used to be girls.

    • Chafed

      That takes me back.

  5. Certified Public Asshat
      • Certified Public Asshat

        Fuckin with me? I have you in the back of the Chevelle
        Like what (what) hittin it raw dogg in the butt
        You was good this mornin, but tonight you a slut

        Practically Shakespearean.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Allowable…but suspect due to repeat artist

      • Rebel Scum

        Am I being detained?!

      • SugarFree

        And I believe she explicitly says that “I ain’t no hollaback girl.” The very lyrics of the song negate the title.

        And of course, that this song is “B-A-N-A-N-A Bananas.”

  6. Count Potato

    “I guess she was one of Jerry’s kids, though I wasn’t sure which kind.”

    LOL

  7. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “I Love Little Girls” by Jeffrey Epstein, errr, Oingo Boingo:
    https://youtu.be/2d6coarzPsQ

    • Ownbestenemy

      Winner winner. I was making my way there and you win sir. Well played.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        No doubt true but are some girl’s mothers really bigger than other girl’s mothers?

      • B.P.

        Don’t we have something of an expert on this subject around here?

    • Ted S.

      Cool link, bro!

      • Ownbestenemy

        Runs away crying….

  8. Rebel Scum

    Fastest Girl in Town

    • Gender Traitor

      Was expecting the number from Singing in the Rain.

  9. JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

    Gwen or Shirley?

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      Shirley

      There is no doubt.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Hullo mah baby!

        I can’t find the annotated relevant page I found oncest, so I leave you with this (they miss Eireann and Harry): http://blog.b92.net/arhiva/node/3270.html

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        uh, wait, lemme get this chord…

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        It was all about the histories of those 7-8 songs. “Hello” was a c— song.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        I see what you did there.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        /insert a Mae West retort here

  10. DEG

    That hippie story is a bit of a mind fuck.

    • Translucent Chum

      I love Tyler in a platonic, manly way.

      • Translucent Chum

        /sigh. Gilmore’d it.

      • Ownbestenemy

        It….is funny here 🙂

    • B.P.

      Wow, deep cut.

    • Shpip

      As far as I know, still the only pop song with the word “moot” in the lyrics.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        That’s how you know the song’s totally classy.

  11. Ownbestenemy

    Who is the best punk drummer? I am going with Josh Freese from the Vandals

    • EvilSheldon

      If you’ll allow that Green Day was at one time punk (and I’m 50/50 at best on that question), then Tre is the best punk drummer.

      • Rebel Scum

        I learned to play emulating Tre.

      • Ownbestenemy

        If there is now an ‘approved’ pill for COVID, how can a vaccination mandate exist?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Whatever…

    • Count Potato

      Actual punk? Bruce Slesinger (“Ted” from the Dead Kennedys)

      If Blondie is punk, then Clem Burke.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Blondie’s punkish new wave.

      • Chafed

        Clem Burke is a hell of a drummer.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        OK I am going to get WAY up on my high horse and just say it:punk isn’t a musical style, it’s outsider art. Blondie? Punk. Green Day? Not punk.

        Punk was dead by the time hard core hit, as all the innovative sounds were drowned out. No more Television, Ramones, Talking Heads, X, all sounded different, but now it all sounded the same.

    • B.P.

      May not meet a strict definition of punk, but Garrett Shavlik of The Fluid. If that gets DQ’ed, Earl Hudson from the Bad Brains is pretty goo.

      • B.P.

        d.

    • Seguin

      Chris Finney from Urine Trouble.

      • Count Potato

        OK, good drummer, but CWAA.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Nice…so talent exists in the punk realm.

    • Animal

      That guy from Alice Bowie.

  12. Rebel Scum

    Freedom girl.

    According to the White House, we are all in this together unless you make a medical decision for yourself that goes against what they want.

    Get bent, you little fascists.

  13. Count Potato

    “FDA approves first pill to treat COVID after Pfizer’s oral medication reduced hospitalizations by 88% in key study

    U.S. health regulators on Wednesday authorized the first pill against COVID-19, a Pfizer drug that Americans will be able to take at home to head off the worst effects of the virus.

    The Food and Drug Administration issued emergency authorization for Pfizer’s Paxlovid, a pill that is available by prescription only and should be initiated as soon as possible after diagnosis of COVID-19 and within five days of symptom onset.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10337029/FDA-approves-pill-treat-COVID.html

    • Rebel Scum

      Pfizermectin…

    • Drake

      Lemme guess. It costs a hundred times more and works half as well as invemectin or cloroquine.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Dunno. Dr. Drew seems to think it’s a good deal and more effective on the whole (being clinically targeted to a specific virus)….but who knows. I think this one may include 2 different antivirals so it’s supposed to be harder to mutate around than other individual antivirals.

      • Count Potato

        Still, way cheaper than going to the hospital.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Not the point

      • Count Potato

        Well, what is the point? New drugs are always expensive.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The point is there are studies that off-brand, cheaper drugs that are on the market are being vilified/banned for Pharma to introduce a name brand drug.

      • Count Potato

        The problem is that most doctors won’t prescribe those.

        So if this drug works as advertised, then that’s a very good thing.

      • Drake

        The problem is that the pharmas now run the FDA, CDC, and the rest. What your doctor prescribes you is no longer based on what will cure you and/or what you can afford. It is based solely on what will make a pharma the most profit.

      • Count Potato

        That may very well be true, but patients face the reality that exists, not the way things should be.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Fuck Big Pharma, and fuck the MD’s. The treatment is expensive, but at least MD’s are likely to prescribe it. That’s the good news. The bad news is the number of people who may have died due to the deliberate suppression of available medications.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        And they likely won’t give it to any of the unvaccinated — y’know, the same people they claim are probably gonna need it most.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I mean…I am sure my wife would play her “fantasy” card on him, so….good on you bro!

      • rhywun

        Yeah, the guy didn’t exactly get hit with the ugly stick.

    • Rebel Scum

      FYTW?

  14. grrizzly

    LOL. A small world! We ran into the groom and bride from the wedding we attended in Wisconsin last weekend… on a beach in Key West. I knew they were heading to FL but didn’t know where.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Dont take pictures or make a video and enjoy!

    • Jerms

      Wow. Everyone must have been “WTF!?”

  15. Rebel Scum

    Pfizer CEO is asshoe.

    On Lex Friedman’s podcast, Pfizer CEO, Albert Bourla (with almost zero self-awareness) blames vaccine hesitancy on a small group of influencers that he suggests profit from people’s anxiety.

    “They have make business for them, to profit off this anxiety”.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I think I heard Ol Joe try to throw out a free market message saying why would a company make a product that would harm its consumers. I think it was his speech yesterday.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Why would a company making a harmless product need immunity from being sued?

        Why would a company making a harmless desired product need the government to force everybody to use it?

      • Ownbestenemy

        I was off…he said:

        You know, these companies and personalities are making money by peddling lies and allowing misinformation that can kill their own customers and their own supporters.

        He was talking about people going against the government narrative. I was so close.

      • rhywun

        Why would a government spend tax dollars developing killer viruses?

    • Drake

      Is there a Pfizer drug to fix that?

      • Ownbestenemy

        They already have Zoloft but I expect the Government to come out and say it is the only approved Long Covid treatment.

    • The Other Kevin

      Get back to me when influencers are making $2 billion a year on this.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Russia released a stern list of demands to prevent this from happening and we should negotiate with them on these points in good faith but it they’ve ultimately decided to invade we need to stay the hell out. I think they’ve decided to invade if at least a large part of those conditions aren’t considered and met but it’s not written in stone yet.

    • Drake

      Not much there to disagree with.
      My link above – Russia just shut off the gas to Germany as a warning to the new government there. They can double down like typical asshole western politicians, or they can stay warm this winter – not both.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Yeah, I saw that. I can’t believe they didn’t put off shutting down the German reactors at least through the winter. Inconceivable!

      • Drake

        That tsunami could roll through Germany at any moment.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      That’s the Crowdstrike guy, so I take it with a grain of salt.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Here’s one followup on the same thread:

        https://www.nationalreview.com/the-morning-jolt/putin-moves-ominously-toward-ukraine/

        Americans Can’t Find Covid-19 Tests, and It’s the FDA’s Fault

        The Biden Administration Has an Epiphany on Covid-19 . . . Too Late

        America Has Reached Covid Burnout

        Biden’s Many, Many Wrong Assumptions

        The Biden Administration Hesitates to Call Out China’s Covid Deceit
        The Morning Jolt
        World
        Putin Moves Ominously toward Ukraine
        By Jim Geraghty

        December 22, 2021 9:16 AM

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        Russian President Vladimir Putin and Defence Minister Sergei Shoigu attend a military exhibition in Moscow, Russia, December 21, 2021. (Mikhail Metzel/Sputnik via Reuters)

        On the menu today: two bits of really bad news and then some serious hope. The evidence is piling up that Vladimir Putin really does intend to invade Ukraine later this winter. Meanwhile, at home, President Biden offers utterly lame excuses that no one could have possibly foreseen surging demands for Covid-19 tests this winter. But over at Walter Reed Army Institute of Research, scientists think they’ve developed the variant-killer, the One Vaccine to Defeat Them All.

        Is Vladimir Putin Bending His Knees?

        I don’t want to serve up a heaping portion of ominous news right before the holidays, but this thread from Dmitri Alperovitch, the Russian-born U.S. computer executive and co-founder of the cybersecurity firm CrowdStrike, lays out a thoroughly unnerving case that Vladimir Putin is going to invade Ukraine later this winter.

        Could all of this be a feint?

        If you’re lucky enough to meet my father, there’s a roughly 50-50 chance that at some point he will tell you a story from his Navy days about serving on the staff of Admiral Thomas Moorer. There is also a good chance that he will tell the story about getting some update about hostile-foreign-troop movements, and Moorer asking my dad if he thought it was really a preparation for an invasion. Dad, being of a much lower rank and not knowing one way or another, hedged his answers. Moorer pointed out that, “They’re not bending their knees. When you go to shoot a basketball, what’s the first thing you do? You bend your knees. These guys aren’t bending their knees” — meaning, setting up supply lines and moving material into place — “so this is another training exercise.” And it turned out, it was.

        Russia doesn’t appear to have everything in place that it would need for an invasion, at least according to U.S. intelligence officials speaking to Voice of America:

        But U.S. intelligence officials, along with European security officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity, say they do not believe an invasion is imminent. They say some key logistics they would expect to see are not in place yet, including more fuel and ammunition stockpiles. They calculate Russia has anything from 70,000 to 100,000 troops already deployed but expect a combined force of around 175,000 to be amassed ahead of any incursion, if Putin decides to launch an attack on Ukraine.

        But with that said, a few days ago, the Atlantic Council’s Digital Forensics Research Lab looked at what could be determined from satellite photos and social media in Russia and concluded that there was an extensive and ongoing troop mobilization underway:

        The DFRLab has tracked Russian military movements throughout December, and found that units from the Central Military District (CMD) continued to use rail services to move equipment hundreds of kilometers toward locations near the Ukraine border. Most recently, units from the St. Petersburg area were spotted relocating to Kursk, roughly 100 kilometers from the Ukraine border.

        A new military camp was discovered at a training area east of Kursk, and the 2nd Motor Rifle Division (MRD) appeared to be active in the region, according to a December 9 report by Janes. Open-source videos show trains with equipment from the 138th and the 25th Motor Rifle Brigades (MRB), from the 6th Army near St. Petersburg, had moved to Otreshkovo station, located five kilometers from this training area.

        Movement near the Belarus border has also been identified. In November, Ukrainian intelligence suggested that Russia would move elements from the 2nd MRD into Belarus to pressure Ukraine’s northern flank. Video footage recently shared on social media revealed westward Russian military movement, toward the Belarus border, through the village of Kletnya in Bryansk Oblast. There is, however, no evidence that Russian military equipment has entered Belarusian territory in connection with a potential invasion at this point, and no true indication of what unit the equipment belonged to.

        Given the large amount of equipment amassing near the Ukraine border, and the comparatively small size of known camps, the prevailing theory holds that there are several other undiscovered small camps, like the one discovered in Kursk, scattered throughout Kursk and Bryansk Oblasts.

        Those knees don’t look all that stiff, do they?

        Then there’s the cyberwarfare front. A few days ago, the New York Times reported that Russian hackers are extremely likely to take down the Ukrainian electrical grid in an invasion scenario:

        The Ukrainian grid was built in the days of the Soviet Union, connected to Russia’s. It has been upgraded with Russian parts. The software is as familiar to the attackers as to its operators. And while Ukraine has repeatedly vowed to fix its system, Mr. Putin’s hackers, or at least teams loyal to him, have shown time and time again that they know how to bring parts of the country to a halt.

        In an interview, Sean Plankey, a former Energy Department cyberexpert who is now an executive at DataRobot, said that Russian hackers understand every linkage in the design — and most likely have insiders who can help them.

        There’s also Vladimir Putin’s rhetoric, which could be mere saber-rattling, but also sounds like the sort of things a leader would say if he was preparing his people for war: “What the U.S. is doing in Ukraine is at our doorstep. . . . And they should understand that we have nowhere further to retreat to. Do they think we’ll just watch idly?” Also note the downright unhinged accusations coming from Russia’s defense minister:

        Russian Defense Minister Sergei Shoygu claimed Tuesday that U.S. mercenaries were preparing Ukrainian special forces and radical armed groups for “active hostilities” in eastern Ukraine, and had delivered “an unidentified chemical component” to the region “to commit provocations.”

        Shoygu did not provide evidence for his allegations, which he read from a prepared statement at a gathering of Russia’s top military commanders with President Vladimir Putin in attendance.

        Meanwhile, pro-Russian social-media accounts are spreading false rumors of U.S. military forces moving toward Poland’s border with Belarus. Someone wants the Russian people to believe that the U.S. and NATO are preparing to attack Belarus and Russia.

        But there may not be any sudden, formal, full-on invasion one night. The brilliant British sitcom Yes, Prime Minister had a hilarious, and painfully accurate, description of “Salami Tactics” — a Soviet invasion completed small slice by small slice. No one particular Russian action is likely to spur a full response from NATO. Like the frog in the boiling water, the strategy is to gradually increase aggression and incursions, bit by bit, so that the shift from non-war to war happens so gradually, we never quite realize it. And by the time we do realize it, the Russians have a huge head start.

        Toward the end of Alperovitch’s thread, he looks at the geopolitical situation. Russia is the world’s third-largest producer of petroleum and its second-largest producer of natural gas. Oil and natural-gas prices are high; Europe is highly dependent upon Russian energy exports, and the Nord Stream 2 pipeline running from Russia to Germany hasn’t even started operating yet. (Surprise, surprise, European wind power didn’t generate as much energy as projected.) Putin has enormous leverage; the West doesn’t seem all that unified, strong, or confident; and he’s thinking about his legacy before age and mortality catch up with him…….

    • EvilSheldon

      ‘…American PMC is preparing a provocation using chemical components in Donna’s.’

      Why not just have a bunch of American terrorists shoot up a Russian airport? It would be about as believable…

  16. Rebel Scum

    What would Jesus do?

    The Most Reverend Justin Welby, the top bishop in the Church of England, said that getting vaccinated is a “moral issue” which should supersede personal desires or rights.

    “It’s not about me and my rights to choose, it’s about how I love my neighbour. Vaccination reduces my chances — doesn’t eliminate — but it reduces my chances of getting ill and reducing my chances of getting ill, reduces my chances of infecting others,” Welby told ITV news on Tuesday evening.

    “It’s very simple, so I would say yes, to love one another as Jesus said, get vaccinated, get boosted,” he added.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Love = vaccination status now? We are watching the last bastions of Christianity being taken down from whitin.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Pope wasn’t that far off either and other protestant sects are saying the same thing. Free will apparently only goes so far.

    • Drake

      Probably heal everyone with covid then chase that guy out of the church with a whip.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        ^This, conflating love thy neighbor with vaccination is so damn stupid and calculatingly manipulative that it boggles the mind.

      • Chafed

        I noticed The Most Reverend has not invited a gaggle of homeless people to live with him. Ergo, he doesn’t love his neighbor.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Not allowed in his lease?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        (Where does he live, srsly?)

      • Chafed

        I assume in a parsonage in England owned by his church.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I knew I should have asked the guys at the Jewish House. ?

        I figured some olde lodging in either London or Canterbury but wasn’t curious enough to look it up.

    • Chafed

      RIP Tom.

    • Chafed

      I want to attend your office party, cowboy.

  17. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    I was going to post Girls on Film, but I see they’ve completely reedited the video to take out most of the boobies. Yet they left in the white lady riding the black guy like a horse…

    • Rebel Scum

      I didn’t know that George Lucas got into music video re-releases.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        It is an edit of Lucasian proportion

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      I kept thinking, as I was watching it: “I thought there were chicks sliding up and down a beam covered in whipped cream”*

      *there were, in the original edit

      • Ownbestenemy

        Go on…

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Here’s the original with an absolutely atrocious cover of the song over it. Compare it to the “official” version on Duran Duran’s Youtube.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MflvMgRTGmg

  18. Rebel Scum

    Fuck off, you limey cunte.

    Tony Blair says “if you’re not vaccinated… you’re an idiot.”

    • Ownbestenemy

      And if you believed Iraq had WMDs…you’re an idiot. This is fun

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      He’s a Bush lapdog with massive blood on his hands and his opinion on, well anything really, is worth less than nothing.

  19. Rebel Scum

    Living the meme.

    Same day. Three different Democrats testing positive. Three virtually identical public statements. Nothing to see here…

    • EvilSheldon

      Coordination? That’s just paranoid…

      • Nephilium

        They all independently came to the same conclusions, which proves that it’s TRUTH and SCIENCE!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’d bet money that they asked their party leadership for guidance on statements. They know their place.

  20. DEG

    “Material Girl” – back when Madonna was good looking.

    • Ownbestenemy

      +1 Body of Evidence

  21. Pope Jimbo

    What? How can this be? King Walz has the Rona!

    His son, who is in ninth grade, tested positive for COVID-19 on Monday and has sniffles, a sore throat and congestion, Walz said in a video announcement. Walz and his wife, Gwen, first tested negative for the virus Monday morning. They then took another test, which came back positive that night.

    “Thankfully, my son has mild symptoms and Gwen and I have no symptoms. My son is vaccinated, and Gwen and I are vaccinated and have received our booster shots, and I am confident that these vaccines are protecting my family and me from serious illness,” Walz said in a statement.

    Chalk up one more “I’m sure it would have been worse without the Vax” success story.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Vaccination or not, your son, as long has they are relatively healthy, would have experienced the same exact response.

      Interesting that in such a short period, all our high ranking politicos are coming down with the vid…..curious indeed.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      I can’t leave the house without my tiger repellant. There’s tigers out there!

    • Rebel Scum

      Rebel Scum on December 22, 2021 at 4:11 pm
      Living the meme.

      Same day. Three different Democrats testing positive. Three virtually identical public statements. Nothing to see here…

      • Pope Jimbo

        Worst. Orgy. Ever.

    • invisible finger

      Three weeks ago the TV was loaded with propaganda for boosters. Now that the lapdogs are boosted they’re testing positive for the rona.

      Getting boosted is like taking last years flu jab. All it can do is promote antibodies against a strain that isn’t going around, thus making you more susceptible to the strains that are.

      Stupid stupid stupid.

  22. juris imprudent

    This far in and this was overlooked? I throw stones at you!

    • Count Potato

      See #1

  23. Ownbestenemy

    Part of Chi-Town’s announcement that it is reinstating segregation

    Mayor Lori E. Lightfoot
    @chicagosmayor
    To put it simply, if you have been living vaccine-free, your time is up. If you wish to live life as w/the ease to do the things you love, you must be vax’d.

    This health order may pose an inconvenience to the unvaccinated, and in fact it is inconvenient by design.

    At least she didn’t lie to me.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      So it really is pee.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Meaning I can’t go into my gym. Meaning I’ll be less healthy because I’m not exercising. Meaning I’ll be more susceptible to a negative effects from covid if I get it again.
        Thanks Mayor. Now please Fuck off Slaver.
        I’ll have to see what the nearby suburbs are doing.

  24. Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

    88 lines about 44 women
    https://youtu.be/jeymW6GTDeY

    • Ownbestenemy

      So close….but you are soooooooooo late

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      How you do that?

      I was just reminiscing about no. 3.

    • EvilSheldon

      No one gets between me and my AK?

    • Rebel Scum

      Nice.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Perfect response, Larf!

    • Ghostpatzer

      LOL. Percussion isn’t that bad, should have sent a violin for maximum torture. Violins are a bit pricey, however.

    • Chafed

      My new hero.

  25. JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

    What? No Obama Girl?

  26. limey

    Everyone is sharing music. Interesting selection.

    This song does not have a titular girl, but there is a girl in it. Some of the music from twenty years ago I still actually like: https://youtube.com/watch?v=dRENvBT7qR4

    ?

  27. Ghostpatzer

    Bad Girls

    I was/am NOT a disco fan; but Donna Summer… holy shit. Wife dragged me to a show at Westbury Music Fair in the early ’90s. I whined incessantly for the week leading up to it, and then apologized profusely for the week following. Great pipes, even better live.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Thank Giorgio, and Electronica,

    • Animal

      Hmm…

  28. Gender Traitor

    How could we have overlooked this one???

    • juris imprudent

      As probably the #1 Glib fan of Van, I am ashamed.

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      Because it’s really about a female’s anus?

      . . .

      Wait, wasn’t I supposed to point that out?!?

    • pistoffnick

      Damn you, GT!

  29. Count Potato

    “Remember way back in July when I was banned by Twitter for saying that mandates were coming, vaccines weren’t working as promised and they’re gonna demand we all take boosters? ”

    https://twitter.com/RubinReport/status/1473282186614816769

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Let’s go Party!

    • Rebel Scum

      Idk how that one slipped my mind.

    • rhywun

      That song is a crime against humanity.

      • Count Potato

        I think it’s funny.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        high five, my Lord.

  30. CatchTheCarp

    Screwed up Georgy Girl…..

    Georgy Girl

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Good movie.

    • Gender Traitor

      ????!!

  31. Evan from Evansville

    YO! to TPTB: Is it possible to reschedule my article coming out? I’d like to be around for comments–it’s scheduled for 7pm on Christmas Eve (not the best time to begin with) but for me that’ll be Xmas morning and I’m going to a potluck, ex-pat brunch where I’ll be making green bean casserole.

    I’ll email Tonio later about it but I’ve gotta bounce off….Thursdays are the long ones. Good news: Koreans have a solstice tradition (not major) and I’m gonna get to bring that up for my young kiddos and show some other Swedish and Persian dishes that are solstice-based. Gotta find what you can.

    Peace out, y’all!

    • Spudalicious

      I passed it on.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      Neil Tennant’s lip game is strong. He must have been using an ultra-moisturizing stick.

    • Sean

      Thank you.

  32. J. Frank Parnell

    Thread’s been up for two and a half hours – are we finally Ready for the Sex Girls?
    https://youtu.be/Ku5sdcnQO4I

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      NERD!!!!! Gotta rewatch that movie, it’s been a while.

  33. juris imprudent

    This is probably already been covered – OMWC’s inspiration.

    • Ghostpatzer

      OMWC’s Inspiration

      I was expecting this

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ?

  34. The Late P Brooks

    I’m late. Has this one been brought up?

  35. juris imprudent

    Ah, another that I don’t think has been called up.

  36. Toxteth O'Grady

    Beatles had only three girls titles? do I count correctly?

    Bored x3 makes me think of Long Long Long.

  37. juris imprudent

    Did anyone else have Bonnie?

  38. Surly Knott

    Someone mentioned OMD?

    • rhywun

      Yass!

  39. rhywun

    They’re calling you the Chelsea Girl

  40. Ted S.

    I don’t think I saw this mentioned yet.

    • juris imprudent

      Speaking of geographic girls.

  41. Tundra

    Great theme and of course I missed it.

    Kabuki Girl.

    • juris imprudent

      Other kind of working girl.

    • straffinrun

      Turn about is fair play.

    • rhywun

      *sigh*

      The “reforms” mentioned in the inner link*, if accurately reported**, don’t seem beyond the pale.

      Surely there is a middle ground between criminal-friendly radical Dems and copsucking Republicans, and which doesn’t include snarking about a carjacking.

      *”ban federal police from using chokeholds”, “do away with no-knock warrants in drug cases”, “make it easier to penalize police for misconduct”

      **a big if, I know

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        The thing that drives me nuts is that everyone thinks there is some magical non-violent solution to violence. I am all for attempting to de-escalate or whatever it takes for someone to not get killed by the police, but every time a cop uses a supposedly non-violent solution, there is some non-zero chance that it will go wrong. Tazers, chokeholds, whatever; all can go pear-shaped in the blink of an eye. And if you replace something that works most of the time, such as the old LAPD chokehold, it will be replaced with something that can be just as bad, such as the clubbing that was used on Rodney King.

    • mock-star

      It was a bunch of MAGA hat wearing white supremacists what done it.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    It doesn’t have “girl” in the title, but screw it; it’s about a girl

    • juris imprudent

      Shit, two, in one day? In Philthadelphia and Illinois? I’m getting an impressive schadenboner.

  43. straffinrun

    If you feel omicron coming on, go for a walk. Meet friends for cocktails. Become a tuba player for a college football team. Don’t just sit home and mope about it cuz that’s how you’ll get sick.

    • Gustave Lytton

      It’s a bold treatment plan. How do you feel about consuming LD50 levels of natto to kill the virus?

      • straffinrun

        So I can smell like the employee toilet at soap land? I

    • straffinrun

      I’m on an elevator as I clicked that. How meta.

  44. straffinrun

    Hole?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Straff!

      How are ya man?

      • straffinrun

        Busy, but good. You Scruff?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Hanging in there. Holidays are weird.

      • straffinrun

        Yep, the whole thing.

  45. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I had to search the thread because I can’t believe nobody got this one. Tundra, I am disappoint.

    Sushi Girl

    https://youtu.be/E_QGolK1oJQ