Wednesday Afternoon SugarLinks – Misspelled Song Title edition

by | Dec 15, 2021 | Daily Links | 322 comments

In dispiriting cultural news:

Avril Lavigne is turning “Sk8er Boi” into a movie

Avril Lavigne has soundtracked many movies (“I’m With You” and “Happy Ending,” in particular, got plenty of mileage from those early 2000s flicks), but now she wants to make a movie of her own based on one of her biggest hits. While appearing on the iHeartRadio podcast She Is The Voice, the musician talked about her plans to make a feature film about “Sk8er Boi.”

“Recently with it being almost the 20th anniversary, a lot of people have been asking me to play [”Sk8er Boi”] on some TV shows, so it keeps getting brought back up and people will always reference it to me. And so, I’m actually going to turn this song into a film… and take it to the next level,” she said.

Let us review the riveting lyrics that will form the plot of this cinematic masterpiece:

He was a boy.
She was a girl.
Can I make it anymore obvious?
He was a punk.
She did ballet.
What more can I say?
He wanted her.
She’d never tell.
Secretly she wanted him as well.
And all of her friends stuck up their nose.
They had a problem with his baggy clothes.

He was a skater boy.
She said, “See ya later, boy.”
He wasn’t good enough for her.
She had a pretty face but her head was up in space.
She needed to come back down to earth.

Five years from now, she sits at home feeding the baby.
She’s all alone.
She turns on TV and guess who she sees?
Skater boy rockin’ up MTV.
She calls up her friends.
They already know.
And they’ve all got tickets to see his show.
She tags along,
Stands in the crowd,
Looks up at the man that she turned down.

He was a skater boy.
She said, “See ya later, boy.”
He wasn’t good enough for her.
Now he’s a superstar
Slammin’ on his guitar
Does your pretty face see what he’s worth?

He was a skater boy.
She said, “See ya later, boy.”
He wasn’t good enough for her.
Now he’s a superstar
Slammin’ on his guitar
Does your pretty face see what he’s worth?

Sorry, girl, but you missed out.
Well, tough luck, that boy’s mine now.
We are more than just good friends.
This is how the story ends.
Too bad that you couldn’t see…
See the man that boy could be.
There is more than meets the eye,
I see the soul that is inside.

He’s just a boy, and I’m just a girl.
Can I make it anymore obvious?
We are in love.
Haven’t you heard how we rock each other’s world?

I’m with the skater boy.
I said, “See ya later, boy.”
I’ll be backstage after the show.
I’ll be at the studio singing the song we wrote
About a girl you used to know.

I’m with the skater boy.
I said, “See ya later, boy.”
I’ll be backstage after the show.
I’ll be at the studio singing the song we wrote
About a girl you used to know.

Take that, Shakespeare!


 

Karens Angry That Rich Man Bad Insulted Karen Prime

A matter of hours after being named TIME’s 2021 Person of the Year, Elon Musk is making the news for hurling a string of sexist tweets at Sen. Elizabeth Warren for calling on him to pay taxes. In response to Warren’s pretty reasonable demand, the richest man in the world told her she reminded him of “when I was a kid and my friend’s angry mom would just randomly yell at everyone for no reason,” and told her to “please don’t call the manager Senator Karen.”

It’s hard to know where to start with this one, between the 101-level sexism of comparing a woman who says something you don’t like to a shrill, naggy mom, or Musk’s authoritatively disproven lie that he had friends growing up—and all of this tweeted from behind the avatar of a phallic rocket ship. Let’s not overlook, too, the truly bizarre insinuation that in any interaction with Warren, Musk, whose net worth stands at $240 billion, would be the overworked customer service representative, and Warren, the racist and entitled patron.

“Boo-hoo-hoo,” sobbed Cindy-Lou Who.


CURSED IMAGE


 

Titane (2021)

From the director of the fantastic Raw (2016), this is the next logical step past J. G. Ballard’s Crash and its 1996 film adaptation by David Cronenberg. It would be pretty spoilery to say much more, but the keywords are deviant sex, cars, monstrous pregnancy, and body horror in a neon stew.

You have a hard time knowing where it is going next, but there is a terrible inevitability to the narrative that drives the film. The sort of nightmare Gaspar Noé wants to make and always falls short of because he’s getting high on his own farts.

Raw (2016) is available on Netflix; Titane (2021) is out in theaters.


Speaking of J. G. Ballard, here is his thesis distilled into song:

 

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

322 Comments

  1. db

    Duante Wright: “Here in my car, I feel safest of all”

    • Enough About Palin

      They showed his crying mother on the stand and all I could think was, bitch, you had just one job.

      • Tonio

        Nice avatar.

      • db

        What’s with that avatar? Would you associate yourself with either of the ideologies implied?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        (irony? like the drinking water at summer camp)

    • Pope Jimbo

      EXACTLY!

      The evul, racist cop had lured him out of his safe space and all he was trying to do is get back.

      Did the cop’s defense attorney ask Crying Mom about her son’s armed robbery?

  2. waffles

    SENPAKU EYES

    Thanks for the cursed image.

  3. db

    Lots of eye makeup up there…

  4. Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

    So, Avril will be Gleaning the Cute?

  5. Yusef drives a Kia

    Elon
    Gary
    /Tall Cans!
    great linkage!

  6. Count Potato

    Actually, those are relatively good lyrics.

  7. Shpip

    Five years from now, she sits at home feeding the baby.
    She’s all alone.

    Her friends let her turn down a Sk8er Boi for a colored? That’s pretty low of them.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Sounds like she would have been a single mother either way.

  8. Count Potato

    “Elon Musk is making the news for hurling a string of sexist tweets at Sen. Elizabeth Warren”

    That’s not why it’s making the news.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Were his Bernie tweets antisemtic?

  9. Enough About Palin

    “It’s hard to know where to start with this one”

    Well I guess when you got nothin…

    • Tonio

      That is one of the most maddening phrases of modern public discourse, along with “public service announcement” (invariably, preachy blather), and “I don’t know who needs to hear this” (nobody, you just need to virtue-signal).

  10. Enough About Palin

    BTW, FUCK THE CCP.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      ^ This times infinity!

  11. The Other Kevin

    I’m going to disagree and say that’s a better plot than most movies that have come out recently.

    • SugarFree

      But by the time they reverse the genders, add in the trans best friend, make the ballerina a hulking steroid case, add in a few cop shootings, a BLM march and explain to the audience that MTV used to play something called music videos, it’s going to be three hours long.

      • The Other Kevin

        Consider me convinced.

      • R C Dean

        Yeah, she starts off with a big problem in the first two lines:

        He was a boy.
        She was a girl.

        Genders and pronouns assumed. Can’t even, shaking, etc.

      • SugarFree

        [hugs]

      • Sean

        SEXUAL ASSAULT!!!!!!!

      • Gadfly

        Also the “Can I make it anymore obvious?” line directly following implies a frightening degree of heteronormativity.

      • Count Potato

        “explain to the audience that MTV used to play something called music videos”

        Kids today know what music videos are. The difference is that they are played on YouTube.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Titane top Review.

        The Most Absurd, French, and Depraved Feel-Good Family Film of the Year.

        Sounds better than the sk8ter boi.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        That’s Sartre of funny. Camus do one about Crash?

      • cyto

        Actually, they only listen to 15 second snippets of songs on TikTok

      • Pope Jimbo

        Huh. You must have watched Amazon’s Wheel of Time shows with that list of PC characters.

        My biggest gripe with the show so far is the blatant pandering to the Gayz. Had to have two swishy warders sitting around the fire canoodling. Had to make Moraine and Siuan gay as fuck for each other. (In the books they were good friends who had gone through training together).

        We were talking ranting about it last weekend and decided that in Hollywood Land no one could ever be just friends. That according to the rules if you really like someone of the same sex you have to fuck them.

    • juris imprudent

      Funny, my wife was commenting about how few movies we see.

  12. ignoreLander

    If you click on a Jezebel post, I mean, if you really do it, May God Himself have mercy on your damned soul. Because I sure will not. Here’s an archived link http://archive.today/cXfGs

    • MikeS

      Thank you. I wasn’t going to give those harpies (misogynist alert!) the satisfaction.

    • cyto

      Good lord. There is an unlimited supply of stupid.

      “Hoarding all the wealth”.

      Hooo-boy. That is dumb enough that I have a hard time processing it.

      Pkus, I really want to go shitpost them about being racist against an African American businessman, and aren’t we supposed to support minority owned businesses and aren’t we pushing for more African American CEOs?

  13. Rebel Scum

    Avril Lavigne

    Is that the chick that married Sum41?

    Let us review the riveting lyrics

    There is no need to make things so complicated.

    • SugarFree

      And the lead singer of Nickelback.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        So if you subtract Sum41 and add an Nickelback, what do you get?

      • SugarFree

        Every Canadian STD.

      • db

        Is that when your ejaculate looks like a poutine topping?

      • Tonio

        Whoa, you grossed even me out with that one. Write more fiction, dammit.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Is that when your ejaculate looks like a poutine topping?

        And tastes better.

        Yeah, I said it. Deal.

      • Pope Jimbo

        *tastes*

        Almost as good as lutefisk

      • Sensei

        Nice.

      • Sean

        In too deep a bad girlfriend?

      • Sean

        Oops. Bad girlfriend wasn’t a NB song.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      I thought she was dead.

  14. Mustang

    Musk’s marketing strategy is brilliant. He’s already cornered the market on fart-sniffing liberals, so why not shift gears and pique the interest of people who wouldn’t otherwise consider his cars? I never considered a Tesla until he started telling everyone to fuck off. Now I’m kinda curious…

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      They are Hella fun to drive, pedal down, hold on! and the owner was quite the Conservative/Libertarian

    • Gadfly

      I’m not sure how much of it is marketing strategy and how much of it is that his involvement with the government reflects the idiom that “familiarity breeds contempt”.

    • Pope Jimbo

      How long before Newsome and CA try to seize his manufacturing plants there?

      • Chafed

        3… 2… 1…

  15. Rebel Scum

    CURSED IMAGE

    Dude…

  16. JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

    “the 101-level sexism of comparing a woman who says something you don’t like to a shrill, naggy mom”

    Yeah, but she is shrill and naggy.

    • R C Dean

      Of course, being Jezebel, they get the basics wrong. a “Karen” isn’t a shrill, naggy mom. Its a bossy, entitled woman.

      • SugarFree

        Elon called her “Senator Karen” in a separate tweet. Which is so accurate it’s like an ice cream headache.

      • Bobarian LMD

        They completely ignored the tweet where he pointed out that he’ll pay more taxes this year than anyone has ever done in our history.

        With the follow-on: “Don’t spend it all at once…oh wait, you already did.”

      • rhywun

        “the 101-level sexism of comparing a woman who says something you don’t like to a bossy, entitled woman”

  17. Tonio

    That Elon Musk tweet was totally awesome. He wisely avoided “crazy,” but apparently even “angry” is now, somehow, sexist. Get not-stuffed, Jezebel.

    • Gadfly

      Get not-stuffed, Jezebel.

      LOL.

      Or perhaps [golf clap].

      • ron73440

        V.g l

      • ron73440

        My stupid dog jumped on my tablet, and then I pushed “Post Comment”

        WTH?

      • Gadfly

        LOL. I was wondering what that meant. I’m assuming since your dog did it, it means “I’d like some food, please”.

      • Tulip

        Was it in your lap? He might be mad at you.

      • ron73440

        She’s just confused why I won’t let her lay down on my legs and stomach anymore.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      The writers for Jezz probably do get stuffed on the regular. Until they are done riding the cock carousel at age 35 and then they wonder whycome no one sees them as marriage material.

    • Mustang

      Maybe we deserve everything that’s happening…

      • EvilSheldon

        I mean, Slate certainly deserves everything happening to them…

    • Tonio

      Wow, that’s some serious journalism there. Much impactful, so deep.

      • SugarFree

        And hilarious when you consider it is their fairly butch lesbian covering that particular haircut.

      • SDF-7

        Wait… Slate only has one? I’m shocked…

      • Bobarian LMD

        The rest are unfairly butch.

      • wdalasio

        I Googled a picture of her. I don’t know if butch lesbian, but damn, pretty much exactly what I’d expect the Slate writer to look like.

    • Sensei

      So 750 words to say “possibly to cover a hair transplant”. Good to know.

      • db

        “Fire one million.”

      • mexican sharpshooter

        A killer

      • Sean

        Nice.

      • db

        Niiiiiice.

    • rhywun

      He looks like the washed-up front-man of a B-list new-wave act.

      • Sensei

        I believe you’ve nailed it.

  18. Sensei

    In keeping with the theme, may I present:

    My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU

    The Japanese isn’t much better.

    やはり俺の青春ラブコメはまちがっている

    やはり – yapari – as expected
    俺の – ore no – my
    青春 -seishun – youth, adolescence
    ラブコメは – rabucom – romantic comedy
    まちがっている – machgatteiru – without a doubt.

    As expected, without a doubt my adolescence is a romantic comedy.

  19. Gadfly

    Let’s not overlook, too, the truly bizarre insinuation that in any interaction with Warren, Musk, whose net worth stands at $240 billion, would be the overworked customer service representative, and Warren, the racist and entitled patron.

    Wow, talk about living in a fantasy-land (although, it is Jezebel, so what should I expect). The person more likely to be able to get away with stealing from the other is obviously the more powerful, and the person more likely to feel entitled to is obviously the more “Karen”. Warren is both.

    • cyto

      Bonus stupid…. Musk is such a workaholic that he sometimes sleeps on the factory floor, working around the clock solving problems. Dude puts in 100 hours on a short week…. While Warren? Remind me how she got all that wealth again?

  20. Rebel Scum

    Lieawatha, the last of the Fauxhicans speaks wisdom from the great spirit.

    Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren on Wednesday called for the US Supreme Court to be expanded with more justices and said that the current court “threatens the democratic foundations of our nation.”

    “With each move, the court shows why it’s important to restore America’s faith in an independent judiciary committed to the rule of law,” Warren wrote in an opinion article published by The Boston Globe. “To do that, I believe it’s time for Congress to yet again use its constitutional authority to expand the number of justices on the Supreme Court.”

    The Democrat wrote that she did not “come to this conclusion lightly” or because she disagreed with a particular decision but that she came to the conclusion because she believes “the current court threatens the democratic foundations of our nation.”

    We will restore faith in the judiciary…by stacking it with partisan leftists…

    • Gadfly

      Congress and the bureaucracy do far more to undermine faith in the rule of law (by violating it, repeatedly and unashamedly) than the courts, although they do their part when they rubber-stamp the others’ transgresses.

      Also, the foundation of our nation was much less “democracy” and much more “FAFO”.

    • Chafed

      If she is sincere, then I want to know how long her head has been up her ass.

    • cyto

      To be fair, they do mean “what I want” when they say “democracy”. They don’t even mean governance by voting.

    • Tonio

      It’s like they want to give Sug a year of material.

      Harris vs Clinton would be a lulzfest.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Harris vs Clinton would be a lulzfest

        Right up until one of them won.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      The screeching if she tried to primary Biden or Harris will be epic. She will burn the last of her goodwill with the ever-leftening D party power brokers.

    • Cannoli

      I had a brief fantasy of a world where anyone referring to a political office as their “birthright” would instantly become unelectable.

      • Homple

        “I had a brief fantasy of a world where anyone referring to a political office as their “birthright” would instantly become unelectable.”
        …because of decapitation.

    • Mojeaux

      Daily Mail’s comment section is bearish on Clinton.

  21. Raven Nation

    Local contribution to the “woke” olympics. A well-respected community group here is conducting a series of public “conversations” on a “taboo” topic: racism.

    I’m struggling to come up with how anodyne your world must be if you still think racism is a “taboo” subject for public discussion.

    • db

      Yeah, I can see regular people lining up around the corner to get into that “conversation.” They’re standing all along the wall of the building.

    • Rat on a train

      It is taboo to have an honest discussion, not if you want a lecture from racists.

      • Raven Nation

        Well, let’s see if Rat is correct:

        “We can use history to begin to understand,” said the author and speaker. “White supremacy is actually a driving factor in our society that we can just name. If we can start with that naming and start with that place of understanding, rather than confrontation and using it as a wedge, then we can work with it and begin to see its role…White supremacy has driven our schools, our political system, our law enforcement, it has driven so many parts of our society for so long, history shows it in a very factual, real and practical way. By naming it and seeing that we can begin to change that. It is the change that we are most interested in with this project,”

      • Bobarian LMD

        rather than … using it as a wedge,

        She said, while pounding it with a 12lb sledge…

      • rhywun

        Virtue, signaled. Here’s your gold star.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s pretty much an explicit admission that it is simply a label intended to facilitate a political outcome.

      • Animal

        What an enormous, odoriferous, steaming pile of utter horseshit.

      • ron73440

        That sounds exactly like the intro to my company’s DEI training.

        I haven’t heard anything about my feedback which was 100% honest on how big of an insult that training was.

      • juris imprudent

        Like the “1619” project. It isn’t even like the Jamestown colonists had ordered up an Uber of slaves. A English/Dutch privateer had ‘liberated’ some slaves from a Portugese ship bound for New Spain. Instead of ending up in a Carribean port as intended, they came up the North American coast and swapped their cargo for food. The Africans were treated like other indentured servants and freed at the end of their terms of service and granted land of their own. So was Anthony Johnson – the guy who brought the court case that resulted in the first true chattel slavery, in 1655.

        Of course nothing in the 1619 Project touched on that.

    • Mustang

      If it wasn’t taboo then it’d be boring and not worth talking about. These people just want to feel important somehow, and discussing “taboo” topics that clearly aren’t gives them just enough of a thrill to cover over their depression at leading dull, uninteresting lives.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      The local magazine in my mom’s town had a section encouraging people to have a diverse, inclusive, equitable and belonging Christmas. It suggested resources for reading about racism, for example “White Tears, Black Oppression” about how white feminists have oppressed women of color. Then in the very next section it said “Don’t call people out, call them in”. Given the number of “In this house we believe in….” and BLM signs in the town that’s 90% white (the other 10% is Asian), I’m sure it will be well received.

      It was the first time I’d see the B added to DIE, and already they’ve added a J.

      • Ted S.

        Diversity, Inclusion, and Equity Blow Jobs?

  22. SDF-7

    I strongly suspect that like other musical artist’s movies, this will have the high quality of the Pet Shop Boys or The Monkees.

    • rhywun

      I had no idea the Pet Shop Boys did a movie. And now I am going to forget it.

      • SDF-7

        If you’ve seen the video for Always on my mind, you’ve seen the Cliff’s Notes version of the movie.

    • SDF-7

      He saw them as a goodie basket of deplorables…

    • kinnath

      More shit from mister “drag a twenty through a trailer park”.

    • Tulip

      Yep, only Republicans are sexist. Fuck off skeletor

  23. one true athena

    Warren’s definitely going all out on her Mussolini fascism lately, I don’t think I’ve read a tweet of hers lately that wasn’t some strain of “greedy capitalists need central control!”

    • Sensei

      The thing that’s amazing was during her early career she was a moderate. She made a conscious decision to be a fascist.

  24. grrizzly

    From a poll released today:

    Concern about catching a new variant is somewhat higher among those who have already received a booster shot (66%)

    than among those who are vaccinated without a booster (51%) – with the caveat that the booster cohort is older than the nonbooster vaccine group.

    However, both of these vaccinated groups are much more concerned about infection from a new variant than those who have not been vaccinated at all (12%).

    Us purebloods are not scared at all.

    • Gadfly

      On one hand, it makes sense, as those who are more concerned about something are more likely to do something about it. On the other hand, if the doing something doesn’t allay your concerns, was it worth doing?

      • invisible finger

        More likely it’s simply buyer’s remorse

  25. limey

    Superhero powers:

    Super strength
    Super speed
    Flying
    Telekinesis
    Energy blasts
    Telepathy
    Mind control
    X-ray vision
    Energy blast/laser eyes
    Shape shifting
    Sorcery
    Ability to change size
    Manipulate time
    Manipulate space/reality
    Mechanical enhancements/cyborg
    Pass through walls/solid objects
    Teleportation
    Survive in space without special equipment
    Invincibility/high yield against extreme forces
    Maintaining principled libertarian values while circulating in cosmopolitan journalistic cocktail parties

    No but really though, what did I miss? I was just thinking about the trailer for that Shang Chi film thinking “wow this man has powers based on a set of magic bangles”.

    • SDF-7

      Atomic reconstruction — one of my favorites.

      Don’t know about the cocktail party thing. 😉

    • Rat on a train

      Susanna Hoffs had her own set of powers.

  26. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    Anecdotal observation: for about a year when there was no vacks, I only knew one person who had the ‘Vid (very few mild symptoms, but tested positive). Now that we have a vacks, I know a shitton of people who have had it (none serious, but all vacksed)

    • db

      Same here. I knew six people who got it pre-vax. Now I know at least ten who got it post-vaccination.

      • db

        But, of course, “the vaccines prevent serious cases; they were never intended to prevent widespread or individual infections.”

    • The Gunslinger

      Currently the two people that sit closest to me at work are out with positive COVID tests. The first one had a cough all last week and must have gotten a positive over the weekend. HR contacted us on Monday afternoon and offered us rapid tests. I declined but the other coworker hurried over and got tested. It must have been positive because now he’s off work as well. And he is one that has been wearing a mask again when he moves away from his desk. I’ve been taking my temperature but don’t plan on getting tested unless symptoms show up.

  27. Mojeaux

    Well, so XY just turned 16 and is right now at Walmart interviewing for a job. I hope he gets it. Bored 16yo boys are dangerous to my equilibrium.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Well if it’s anything like here, all it takes to get hired is to show up for the interview.

      • Mojeaux

        I was busy typing “That’s what I’m counting on” when he came back with the parental permission slip for me to sign.

        “It wasn’t an interview. It was a ‘When can you start?'”

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Well then, congratulations to him for not saying anything super dumb and ruining it.

      • DEG

        Excellent.

      • ron73440

        That’s awesome.

      • Cannoli

        Congrats to XY!

      • Tundra

        Seconded. I made both my kids work retail, as it is by far the most difficult – and therefore useful – job a kid can have.

        Congrats to the boy!

      • Mojeaux

        Well, my kids aren’t college-bound by any stretch and neither of them was interested in a trade. 18yo XX is driving a forklift for FedEx Freight, and now 16yo XY starts being a working stiff 6 days after his birthday. I honestly don’t know whether that’s good or bad. I was college-bound, but I was also working for my dad and making pretty good money, so…

      • Tundra

        They’ll figure it out.

        You are a good mom and a good role model. The chips will fall in the proper place.

      • DEG

        What Tundra said.

        And if I could survive multiple years working in retail, anyone can.

      • rhywun

        I survived multiple years in retail but I hated every single second of it with the heat of a thousand suns and it made me miserable and bitter. Yay.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        My first “real” job (I had to get a Social Security card) was doing waiter/busser for banquets at the local University. Hard work with bad hours. Minimum wage at the time was $1.15 per hour but it kept me in gasoline for my motorcycle.

        Gave me an appreciation for food-slingers, however. I am a very good tipper.

      • Chafed

        Good for him.

    • Gadfly

      Bored 16yo boys are dangerous to my equilibrium.

      And dangerous to many other things as well.

      • Bobarian LMD

        And don’t even touch his dirty socks.

      • Mojeaux

        My kids have been doing their own laundry since they could reach the controls.

      • Tres Cool

        Not only do I treat women as objects, sometimes I treat objects like….women

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Let me assure you that it doesn’t get better when they are 17.

      • Mojeaux

        “I hereby give my permission for XY to work 12 hours a day, no breaks.”

      • Gender Traitor

        “…and to sleep on a camping cot in the Sporting Goods department.”

      • MikeS

        “…but only if no girls work in Sporting Goods.”

  28. Rebel Scum

    Dick Morris is asshoe.

    Fox News’ lead host Tucker Carlson is behaving like the discredited appeasers of Adolf Hitler in the prelude to World War II.

    The lesson of 1930s appeasement is that it does not work, does not gain peace, and leads to even greater tragedy.

    Today, Carlson is making excuses for Russian strongman Vladimir Putin and his increasing threats against Ukraine.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        At least they’re showing some sense and trying to back it down.

        Our idiotic departments of State, Defense, and Spook are probably trying to instigate.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Fuck that fat little fucking fucker with rusty fucking chainsaw

      We are screwing around on Russia’s border just hundreds of miles from their capital and pretending Russia’s the aggressor. Thank God Putin is as patient as he is, because if the situations were reversed we’d be nuking them.

      Obligatory

    • Bobarian LMD

      Sure. That’s copacetic for the left, because they’re acting an awful lot like the Nazi Party of Adolf Hitler in the prelude to World War II.

  29. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    You know you’re old when you’re inordinately excited to get a shipping notification for your new glasses.

    • db

      I hate to break it to you, but those X-ray glasses adbvertised in the back of Popular Science are a scam.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        No, they were from Astounding Science Fiction!

      • Sensei

        Worse, you’ll find out the were from “They Live”.

      • rhywun

        Who knew that when the totalitarianism arrived for real, it’d be right in our faces instead of us needing glasses to see it.

    • Count Potato

      You know you are old when you can’t read the shipping notification without your glasses.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        I keep mentioning to the wife that I will be perfectly happy to buy her one of those things that you can hang your glasses around your neck with.

        The looks she gives are priceless.

      • rhywun

        I have to take mine off and hold the thing right in front of my face.

        /old and near-sighted

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      OMG they may even be here in time for festive Friday Zoom!

  30. DEG

    A matter of hours after being named TIME’s 2021 Person of the Year, Elon Musk is making the news for hurling a string of sexist tweets at Sen. Elizabeth Warren for calling on him to pay taxes. In response to Warren’s pretty reasonable demand, the richest man in the world told her she reminded him of “when I was a kid and my friend’s angry mom would just randomly yell at everyone for no reason,” and told her to “please don’t call the manager Senator Karen.”

    It wasn’t a reasonable demand. Musk is right. The Jezebel writers and Warren can go fuck themselves.

  31. DEG

    NH State Senate committee passes watered down version of bill protecting civil liberties during states of emergency.

    The Republican majority on the state Senate Judiciary Committee voted Tuesday to ensure the protection of Granite Staters’ civil liberties if a governor declares a state of emergency in the future.

    But in a move that drew criticism from the bill’s sponsor, the committee replaced a comprehensive House Bill 440 as passed by the House in April of this year with a short, pointed amendment, and then voted 3-2 along party lines to recommend passage by the full Senate in 2022.

  32. DEG

    NH Exit bill starts moving through the legislative process

    On Tuesday, the legislation that would place state independence on the ballot for the voters was given a number and assigned a committee. The legislation will henceforth be known as ‘CACR 32‘, and its first stop will be in the ‘State-Federal Relations and Veterans Affairs Committee‘.

    The legislation is unlikely to be supported by the leadership of either major party in Concord. Entrenched interests of establishment Republicans and Democrats have already displayed hostility to the legislation, but its sponsors and supporters are undeterred in letting the people have an opportunity to express their view on the matter. The most likely scenario is that party leaders tell the Representatives to vote ‘inexpedient to legislate’ and to send that recommendation to the full House. Even if the House passes the legislation, it could be sent to another Committee in the House, and that Committee and the full House would have another opportunity to stop the legislation. If nobody on the Committee objects to the ITL recommendation, the legislation will likely be placed on the ‘consent calendar’, meaning that the House would likely choose to concur with the Committee recommendation as part of a large and generally uncontroversial package of bills. The Committee could also decide to ‘retain’ or ‘interim study’ the legislation. This would prevent it from going to the House floor for a vote, essentially ending its chances of passing this term. The first battle for this historic legislation will be in this committee.

    • SDF-7

      The second one is too accurate to be truly funny, but has to be applauded.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        I remember when the Bee used to be a satire site.

      • juris imprudent

        You mean before the world became so absurd that satire lost all meaning?

    • SDF-7

      Nah. Feel bad for the comments full of “I EXPECTED FREE MONIES AGLEBLAGLE!”

      Bloody depressing, the public voting itself monies from the treasury and all. Sigh.

      • Gadfly

        It’s Twitter, and Shoe is a left-wing populist, so the comments on her tweet don’t necessarily reflect reality.

      • cyto

        Remember before she met Bernie and was a conservative? ‘Member how she used to own feminists?

        I ‘member.

    • Rebel Scum

      I don’t feel bad for laughing at that.

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      Yes. I should too.

      I don’t, but I should.

  33. Tundra

    Avril Lavigne is turning “Sk8er Boi” into a movie

    Who?

    The Cursed Image is perfect!

    …but the keywords are deviant sex, cars, monstrous pregnancy, and body horror in a neon stew.

    I’m sold. And that’s a fantastic song.

  34. Mojeaux

    The Avril Lavigne song isn’t bad. Tells a story. More than 2 verses and a chorus. Could be a cute movie.

    See: A quarter od the rom-coms ever made.

    See: Toby Keith “How do you like me now?”

  35. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    I’m off the hook to go to Portlandia for my friend’s 50th birthday, thanks to “omicron”. These are people that think the dystopian nightmare UK is too lax with its COVID mitigations.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Sounds like you dodged a key party

    • kinnath

      Time for Omicron Parties!

      • Drake

        Light flu, then I’m immune to covid… I’ll bring chips & dip.

    • The Other Kevin

      Right now I know 5 people who are sick with Covid. One is vaxxed. They all have either no, mild, or short-lived symptoms. I would imagine some of them have Omicron, but they don’t test for that.

      • Tres Cool

        With all due respect to your friends, fuck them. Ive been dealing with this shit for the past week. Most of the severe torso/rib cage aches are gone, but it been nonstop 101-102º fever.

        Also, during a fevered dream I was thinking about your sport. I dont know if you field a women’s team, but a great name would be ‘Sister Sledge’.

      • The Other Kevin

        My kid had the high fever with fever dreams for about 3 days. She still has a cough but not much else. Hopefully yours lets up soon.

        That is a good name for a team. We are coed, but there is a national women’s team.

    • DEG

      “Personally, I’m reevaluating plans for the holidays,” Bronwyn MacInnis, director of pathogen genomic surveillance at the Broad Institute of MIT and Harvard University, said on a call with reporters Tuesday. “It’s the responsible thing to do and what feels right given the risk.”

      Go fuck yourself.

      On the Lil Rona Panic: I found out today that the Nashua, NH Board of Health, in the space of a week, flip-flopped on recommending the Board of Aldermen reinstate the city mask ordinance. The BoH went from not going to recommend reinstating the ordinance to recommending reinstating the ordinance. Word is the BoA will have an emergency meeting to consider the ordinance. I have no information on when that emergency meeting will be.

    • grrizzly

      I’ll be attending a wedding with 150 guests this weekend. Mostly the “sophisticated, vaccinated” crowd. Actually, all the people at our table will be vaccinated except for my partner and me. These people can infect me with omicron. That wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have plans to fly to Key West next week. I definitely don’t want to cancel that.

  36. Tres Cool

    Ive upped my game.

    1 part Robitussin AC
    1 part Skyy vodka
    drop in 5 mg crushed melatonin
    Garnish with a rag soaked in starting fluid

    The Cosby Colada.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      No codeine? Amateur.

      • Tres Cool

        Robo AC is the high-test stuff with codeine.

        Honestly, its like you dont even sizzurp.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Sadly, I do not.

      • Tres Cool

        Ill mix us up a batch of lean and mail it out.
        You can review it.

      • Count Potato

        Do you need a script for that?

      • Tres Cool

        What are you? A cop?

      • Count Potato

        I didn’t think you could buy codeine OTC in the U.S., like you can in Mexico and Russia.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Are you tussin?

        PURPLE DRANK

    • Mojeaux

      Tessalon Perles if you want a scrip for something that actually works.

  37. kinnath

    Currently 71 deg. Will drop to 29 degs by dawn tomorrow.

    In between, thunderstorms and tornados possible.

    Must be Brandon’s fault.

    • Animal

      -18 here this morning.

      • juris imprudent

        You really don’t have a future in promotion.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Winter temperatures, regardless of how low, didn’t used to bother me until we got our first dog. Poor things don’t do well at -20 wearing their ridonkulous booties and coats. They’d rather “hold it” until March or so. **HEAVY SIGH**

    • Tundra

      Yesterday it was 64 and sunny. I wore shorts all day.

      Today we had a windstorm. 80+ mph on the plains.

      The goat’s shelters blew away and broke up, the plastic igloo ended up in pieces in the creek.

      And about an hour ago, the wind died.

      Enjoy!

      • Ghostpatzer

        Ouch. Sounds like you have some work to do, hope everything works out.

      • Tundra

        Not my goats, but I’ve helped since I got here. I’ve gotten kind of attached to the weird little fuckers!

        Yesterday, I was in the paddock dumping leaves for them and a couple of them were just plastered to me the while time. Honestly, they are like pets!

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      I’m generally inclined to disregard whatever she says, but in this case she brought the evidence.

      • Tundra

        Why? She’s right an awful lot.

    • Animal

      Given that it’s Twitter, that’s setting the bar awfully low.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The question remains as to how someone who is so thoroughly unprofessional and most likely unhinged got to be in charge of human lives.

    • rhywun

      One wonders why the rest of the GOP isn’t lifting a finger to find out WTF is going on there.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Because they’re gutless wonders.

        Reminds me of the “Conservative” Party of Canada, not to mention the United “Conservatives” of Alberta . . .

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Because they don’t give a shit.

  38. Tulip

    My Dr had nothing to say about COVID wrt my Florida plans.

    • cyto

      Florida is fine. Come on down!

  39. Pope Jimbo

    Good news everybody! It turns out that The Mob can spur the cops into charging someone for a trivial confrontation.

    An Instacart delivery driver who allegedly ran over an elderly couple’s groceries because of a pro-police sign has been cited.

    The Blaine Police Department said 36-year-old Tara Plum has been cited for criminal damage to property, and a court date is scheduled.

    The department also said it has received “multiple inquiries as to whether or not this incident can be charged as a hate crime.”

    “The facts of the case do not meet the elements required for an enhancement to a hate crime,” the department said, because the alleged act did not involve a protected class — race, color, religion, sex, sexual orientation, disability, age or national origin, according to state law.

    What a bunch of pussies to not charge her with a thought hate crime.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Yesterday the cops were a bit more mellow

      He says detectives have been in touch with the driver, who’s described as a 36-year-old woman from Coon Rapids. Police tell WCCO she does not want to speak with them.

      “We’re in law enforcement, we get not everybody likes us, we understand that, but don’t take that out on innocent people out there, especially people who are trying to contribute to this person’s livelihood,“ Podany said.

      The driver has not been arrested or charged with a crime, but she could face misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct and criminal damage to property, which can send her to jail for up to 90 days.

      Blaine is a fairly white Trump Country suburb so it doesn’t surprise me that they’ve decided that charges are warranted. Too bad. The driver was a complete asshole, but I don’t know why it had to become a criminal matter. The couple were reimbursed by InstaCart.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Coon Rapids? Now you’re just making shit up.

      • Pope Jimbo

        A local radio show had a black guy call in once to tell about the time he had won the an award for being the best teacher at the Coon Rapid’s high school which was named “Coon of the Month”.

        He was laughing about it and went into detail about having to call his mom back in Mississippi and explain to her that it was a good thing.

      • Ghostpatzer

        L-oh-L

      • rhywun

        Right?! ?

    • Ghostpatzer

      ran over an elderly couple’s groceries

      Need more information. Seems to me the groceries are the victims here, what kind of groceries were they? Hispanic? Asian? Beans, perhaps. Black beans or white? Any pastries? Ladyfingers (protected) or Napoleons (clearly not). How will I know what to think if journalists can’t do their jobs?

      • ron73440

        I don’t even think she did it.

        I’ll bet it was the car.

  40. JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

    So Jen Psaki is blaming meat conglomerates for inflation. I wonder if she supports a crackdown on Big Meat.

    • Animal

      Because Big Meat didn’t get greedy until just this year.

    • ron73440

      Amazing how everybody suddenly got greedy at the same time.

      Wierd.

      • ron73440

        Or weird, whatever.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Hoarders everywhere

    • Pope Jimbo

      crackdown on Big Meat

      Big Meat will cave, the last thing they want is to get tied up in the courts.

      • Ghostpatzer

        the last thing they want is to get tied up in the courts.

        Or get roasted by the media

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        If they are slick, they can get out of it.

      • Ownbestenemy

        They know how to mince words and should be able to grind this out without too much fat off their bottom end.

      • juris imprudent

        Well being processed is the punishment.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Please stop spamming this thread.

      • db

        That was total cheese, Whiz.

      • Animal

        Now you’re just hamming it up.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        They need to lasso themselves some legal representation.

    • DEG

      crackdown on Big Meat.

      These euphemisms.

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      And earlier, she was sucking up to Big Meat like the rest of the Biden admin.

    • rhywun

      Maybe doing it, opening my mouth, stretches it out.

      *snort*

  41. Pope Jimbo

    So, so problematic.

    Red Lake Nation College, a tribal college in northern Minnesota, has plans to expand the college with a Minneapolis campus.

    Established in 2001 with a main building on the southern shore of Red Lake, the school is a two-year tribal college, specializing in culturally specific academics and providing what Red Lake Nation College President Dan King calls a “hugely important” role in advancing the education and careers of Native people.

    The college’s future Minneapolis campus will be three buildings, located at 900, 910, and 912 3rd Street South, parcels that include the old Tiger Oak Media building near the light rail and across the street from U.S. Bank Stadium.

    Can you say “Cultural Appropriation”? Stealing the white eye’s writing system? Hello?!

    Also, I wonder if the Ojibwe administrators at the current Red Lake campus start every meeting by acknowledging that they are on “stolen lands” and offer lip service to the Dakota tribes they stole the land from?

    • Pope Jimbo

      Dan King is lucky he’s an Indian. He’d get scalped by the Woke if he wasn’t for saying shit like:

      The college not only specializes in educating Native people, but in personalized, one-on-one learning. The average size of a Red Lake Nation College class is 10. “We have to do that otherwise our students wouldn’t make it,” said King. “We hold their hands a lot and practice what we call ‘intrusive advising.’ We get in their business and we make them stay in college. We go over to their house and say ‘Hey, get out of bed and go to class.’”

      King said that the goal of a tribal college like Red Lake Nation College is not only to give Native students a space to learn, but to give them skills they will one day bring back to their tribal nations. “We have a real shortage of tribal members with the education to be leaders in our businesses, government, social work, teachers, doctors, lawyers, really any area you can think of, we need more tribal members educated,” said King, who is a Red Lake member.

      “Get out of bed and go to class”? “We need more tribal members educated”? I can’t even.

      • Animal

        So, if you want a BA in Casino Management, I guess this is the place.

        (Is that racist?)

      • juris imprudent

        (Is that racist?)

        How?

      • Animal

        Isn’t everything?

      • Tundra

        Good for him. I hope he’s wildly successful.

        Working on the Rez in my formative years was incredibly interesting. Pretty much every program originating outside the rez was a fucking disaster.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Twitter banning the CDC? Um this might be a positive turn of events.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Damn your nimble fingers!

      • Rebel Scum

        I guess I was fashionably late to this party.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Factcheck: It is our opinion that the CDC didn’t mean what they said

      • Ownbestenemy

        Am I not seeing a change in language?

      • PutridMeat

        “shed the virus” -> “shed the vaccine”

        So yeah, you can’t really shed the vaccine near as I can tell, though I wouldn’t prevent anyone from claiming that and twitter shouldn’t either. So was the first instance a typo? Or CYA after being called on it? I would guess the former, but I’m not really aware of any sort of widespread idea that the ‘vaccine’ can be shed?

      • Ownbestenemy

        That is sneaky and yet…who has ever made a claim of shedding the vaccine? Maybe the true hardcores that claim they are shedding spike proteins?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You can and will absolutely shed the spike protein that is generated as a result of the vaccine by respiration, perspiration, urination, and defecation.

        Pfizer has admitted as much in their trial documents. It was a violation of protocol to allow a recently vaccinated person to be in a closed room with a pregnant person. They called for monitoring of the pregnancy and the child if it did occur,

    • Rebel Scum

      So…the CDC?

  42. Count Potato

    “As we have told @FoxNews numerous times, casting a Jewish individual as a puppet master who manipulates national events for malign purposes conjures up longstanding antisemitic tropes about Jewish power + contributes to the normalization of antisemitism. This needs to be removed.”

    https://twitter.com/ADL/status/1471195179117809664

    The purpose of identity politics is to protect the elite.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The ADL can fuck right off. Being a Jew is a rationale neither for nor against criticism of character and motive.

    • rhywun

      I don’t see any obvious reference to him being Jewish. Am I missing something?

      Oh, it’s ADL.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Thou shalt not criticize Soros.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I bet I can criticize Netanyahu and the ADL won’t say a word.

      • MikeS

        I bet you can criticize Jesus Christ and the ADL won’t say a word.

    • Rebel Scum

      “Casting”?

      And it is always interesting to watch the left claim antisemitism is bad while supporting antisemitism.

      Case in point: I bet I can criticize Netanyahu and the ADL won’t say a word.

      Criticize him as Illhan Omar would and see what happens. (Nothing..)

  43. Ownbestenemy

    While I have two from Jan 3 to answer these, I was able to obtain the questions for my religious exemption:

    First, this little disclaimer:

    RELIGIOUS ACCOMMODATIONS

    Government-wide policy requires all Federal employees as defined in 5 U.S.C. § 2105 to be vaccinated against COVID-19, with exceptions only as required by law. In certain circumstances, Federal law may entitle a Federal employee who has a religious objection to the COVID-19 vaccination requirement to an exception from that requirement, in which case the employee would instead comply with alternative health and safety protocols. The Federal Government is committed to respecting the important legal protections for religious liberty.

    In order to request a religious exception, please fill out this form. The purpose of this form is to start the accommodation process and help your agency determine whether you may be eligible for a religious exception. You do not need to answer every question on the form to be considered for a religious exception, but we encourage you to provide as much information as possible to enable the agency to evaluate your request.

    Where there is an objective basis to do so, the agency may ask you for additional information as needed to determine if you are legally entitled to an exception. Objections to COVID-19 vaccinations that are based on non-religious reasons, including personal preferences or non-religious concerns about the vaccine, do not qualify for a religious exception.

    Agencies may consider several factors in assessing whether a request for an exception is based on a sincerely held religious belief, including whether the employee has acted in a manner inconsistent with their professed belief. But no one factor is determinative. An individual’s beliefs—or degree of adherence—may change over time and, therefore, an employee’s newly adopted or inconsistently observed practices may nevertheless be based on a sincerely held religious belief. All requests for a religious exception will be evaluated on an individual basis.

    Submitting this form constitutes a declaration that the information you provide is, to the best of your knowledge and ability, true and correct. Any intentional misrepresentation to the Federal Government may result in legal consequences, including termination or removal from Federal Service.

    I guess I could have bolded the whole statement. The last part is interesting to me. They can say I acted inconsistent with my professed beliefs (that they don’t hold and are not deeply held by them), but beliefs can change over time and can be newly adopted or inconsistently be observed.

    Question #1 Please describe the nature of your objection to the COVID-19 vaccine requirement

    Question #2 Would complying with the COVID-19 vaccination requirement substantially burden your religious exercise or conflict with your sincerely held religious beliefs, practices, or observances? If so, please explain how.

    Question #3 Please provide any additional information that you think may be helpful in reviewing your request. For example:
    •How long you have held the religious belief underlying your objection
    •Whether your religious objection is to the use of all vaccines, COVID-19 vaccines, a specific type ofCOVID-19 vaccine, or some other subset of vaccines
    •Whether you have received vaccines as an adult against any other diseases (such as a flu vaccine or a tetanus vaccine)

    They also give an opportunity to upload a document, which I will – H/T Trashy for that one!

    • rhywun

      As I have stated before, the requirement to respond with anything beyond “No” is bullshit.

    • Rebel Scum

      The religious exception should not be a governing factor. The exception is that I have done a cost/benefit analysis for myself and I choose not to.

  44. Count Potato

    “Socialism: Not just a Florida issue. The socialism line resonates w Hispanics, including some who still voted Democratic. And it’s not about Cuban immigrants — the line is more potent among Hispanics who’ve been in the US for multiple generations.”

    https://twitter.com/NickRiccardi/status/1470777783974612997

  45. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Oh look, Schiff is still a lying little shit.

    Confirmed: Schiff Presented Doctored Text Message Between Meadows and Jordan to Jan. 6 Committee Hearing

    The House of Representatives committee investigating the Jan. 6 breach of the U.S. Capitol acknowledged on Wednesday that it doctored a text message between former White House chief of staff Mark Meadows and Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio), excluding content about how they wanted former Vice President Mike Pence to handle electoral votes during the Joint Session of Congress earlier this year.

    https://www.theepochtimes.com/mkt_breakingnews/house-jan-6-committee-confirms-it-altered-text-message-between-meadows-and-jordan_4159470.html

    • Count Potato

      This is my shocked face.

    • Rebel Scum

      A person known to lie every time he opens his mouth is shown to be a liar?

      0_o

  46. Scruffy Nerfherder

    So I’m trying to read an article in Chronicles out in the common area of the house when the middle child and the wife start arguing. I can’t think so I get up and leave.

    Of course the wife follows me and wants to know why I’m not participating in the family time.

    • Gender Traitor

      “Because the kid’s right, but I don’t want to sleep on the sofa.”

      • Ghostpatzer

        Heh. Time for us to downsize soon now that the kids are grown (and soon to be on their own, praise Allah), but having seven bedrooms came in handy over the years.

      • Mojeaux

        1-800-GOT-JUNK

        Also, I will come do the needful for a set rate, per diem, and travel.

      • Ghostpatzer

        do the needful

        Gah! A South Asian Mormon is among us!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Nah, overpriced.

      • Mojeaux

        I may be easy but I ain’t cheap.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Time for us to downsize soon now that the kids are grown

        Brings up an annoyance that I have notice over the years.

        There is a new subdivision going up in the bedroom community next to Los Alamos. Every single house is a McMansion, pushing 4000 ft^2 on tiny lots.

        Our first house was 1k sqft, two bedrooms and a bath. Perfect for the two of us. When the kids came along we moved to a larger house with 4 BR and 3 baths.

        Now that the kids are gone we don’t need all of this space. We’re ready to move back to a 2-3 BR 2 bath place.

        Which brings me back to the comment above. It seems prudent to me that over a person’s life they would go starter home > family home > home the size of a starter home. Half of those 4ksft mansions should have been 1.8ksft one-story homes for the folks on either end.

        Our current home is a nice compromise. 1380 sqft on the main level, 2 BR, 2 bath. Downstair we have 2 more bedrooms and another bath with two rooms that can be turned into sleeping space if needed.

      • Tundra

        Yes.

    • db

      When I was in about the 7th grade, my parents bought a second TV and placed it in our living room, in view of the dining room. They would watch it during dinner. I began eating as fast as I could, then retiring to my room to read. After a couple of weeks, they asked my why I wasn’t participating “family time” any more. I told them “family time” had been supplanted by TV time, and I wasn’t interested in the TV.

    • Ghostpatzer

      “We got 2,000 likes!”

    • db

      Smart!

    • grrizzly

      According to the indictment, Maund paid Peled’s Speartip Security over $150,000 prior to the planned killing.

      So affordable! But then…

      Maund then wired $750,000 dollars to Peled and wrote a positive review of Speartip’s services on their Google profile under his own name, stating: “They get the job done in an expedited time. Couldn’t imagine using anyone else!!”

  47. DEG

    Need a bigger card.

    There is some good stuff in that subreddit, and it’s not a porn subreddit either!

  48. Ghostpatzer

    Day off today, spent most of the day driving around aimlessly listening to tunes. When I got back, checked in with Mrs. Patzer to see how her (work) day went. Oh no, seems they had an outbreak in her office!

    Mrs. Patzer: “Positive case here so a lot of people sent home.”
    Me: “Not you? Why do they want you to die?”
    Mrs. Patzer: “I guess they don’t like me. But I got two gifts! Looks like wine and candy.”
    Me: “At least you will die happy.”

    Might have to use one of those extra bedrooms tonight.

  49. commodious spittoon

    Gougers! Price-gougers, everywhere! A coffee shop in New Jersey is gouging the price of coffee because coffee bean and disposable cup wholesalers are gouging! They blame manufacturers for gouging—and they’d know, being so good at gouging themselves! And don’t you dare think of asking for a raise, wage-gouger!

    • Ghostpatzer

      Not Starbucks, I’m sure. Unionization will solve all their problems.

      • rhywun

        Senior union members would gleefully throw their junior “brothers” under the bus if it cut costs and saved their jobs. Saw it at the NYPD a few years back.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        That’s every union I’ve ever belonged to, with the exception of CLAC (the Christian Labour Association of Canada).

        “You don’t have seniority? Tant pis pour toi!

      • db

        Yep. Happens in industry, too. The despondency of young/junior union members when they find out how the leadership has screwed them in favor of the more senior members in contract negotiations is palpable.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Hey Spitty!

      /OT

      You like Tobes and Delingpole too? I liked both versions of Alienate from what I can remember. “Limpy pig”.

      • commodious spittoon

        Good peeps, even if Toby is a total sellout shill for lefty globalism, little better than a Corbynite!

        I think James may be losing his mind, but maybe I haven’t lost mine enough.