A Glibertarians Exclusive: North Country, Part IV
Near Bergen op Zoom, November 1944
“So, I guess it took two weeks!”
Ted Paige grinned as he climbed down from the deuce-and-a-half. Albert walked up, hand extended. Ted winced a little as he shook his friend’s hand. His shoulder still hurt, but the fragment has just pierced the deltoid muscle, doing little real damage.
“Sort of,” Ted said. “Technically I’m still supposed to be at the field hospital. But a guy from A Squadron came in that got hit in the leg yesterday, said you were moving out, and I thought, hell, I don’t want to get stuck in some other unit as a replacement. They’d already given me a clean uniform, so I snuck out last night, caught a ride up here, and here I am.”
The Sherman sat under a threadbare tree; the engine cover was open. The rest of the crew gathered around, grinning, and slapping Ted on the back. Sergeant Hampton shook Ted’s hand formally, but he was smiling. “Glad to have you back, Corporal.”
“Thanks, Sarge.”
“Don’t take it too personally. It’s just that I’m a complete cock-up as a gunner. Now I can go back to the commander’s seat.” He slapped Ted on the back and walked back over to the tank. “Come on,” he called over his shoulder. “Still have the carburetor to clean. Get back to work!”
“Looks like the worst of this mess is wrapped up,” Albert informed Ted later, after their maintenance routine was done. The two men were seated on the ground next to the tank, leaning against the road wheels, eating some barely edible concoction the Yanks called a ‘K-ration.’ “The Scots took Middelburg a few days ago. They made a landing in the Kraut’s rear, took ‘em right in the ass. After that, it’s been cleanup, mostly. We went through Bergen op Zoom yesterday. Been pushing north and east some since. Looks like the Royal Navy will be getting Antwerp harbor open, then we’ll have an easier time getting resupplied.”
“Well, I should say,” Ted replied.
Sergeant Hampton walked up. “Gather ‘round,” he called. The tank crew assembled at the front of the vehicle.
“You’ll be pleased to know,” the sergeant announced, “that we’re being pulled back into reserve. Corporal, it looks like you made it back at the perfect moment. We’ll be moving back down the road through Bergen op Zoom and then into an assembly area somewhere to the south. B Squadron will be ahead of us on the march, and we’ll be leading C Squadron. We’ll be moving out in an hour. There are still German stragglers in the area, so everyone keeps a sharp eye out.” Hampton checked his watch. “Fifty-eight minutes,” he corrected. “Let’s get our shit together.”
Two hours later, the column passed through Bergen op Zoom. Ted kept scanning the buildings, many of which were still smoking. The few Dutch civilians out and about looked at the Canadians with some suspicion. Well, we did just shoot up their town, Ted reminded himself. He breathed easier when they moved back into more open country.
“Hope my gal remembers me when I get home,” Albert called suddenly. “Looks like it won’t be too long now.”
“Not by Christmas, though,” George Lesk added. “Fucking Montgomery.” Like most common soldiers, Lesk considered himself a master strategist. “We should have taken Antwerp first, then moved up into Germany.”
Ted ignored Lesk’s commentary on Montgomery’s soldiering acumen. “Been thinking of her more lately, then?”
“Yeah. Day and night. Beginning to look like we might win this thing and go home. This mess here we just got through, that has to be the worst of it, yeah? We lost a hell a lot of men and equipment. So did the Krauts. But we can get more. Can they?”
“Hope to God you’re right,” Ted replied.
***
Three hundred yards off the road, covered with branches and camouflage netting, crouched a crippled Mk IV Panzer. One track was off, but the engine idled to supply the vehicle with power. The front of the tank was scorched and pockmarked. Two of the crew were left alive, the commander of the tank – and the gunner. They sat inside the tank now, watching the Allied column moving past. The commander had a bloody bandage wrapped around his head, covering one eye. The gunner was clumsily operating the weapon with one hand, his left arm in a sling.
“More tanks,” the gunner said.
“Take the first one in the column. If we live long enough, hit the next one back as it tries to pass the first one. Maybe we can block the road.”
“Jawohl.” Slowly, the gunner moved the turret, trying not to draw attention until he was ready to fire.
***
As was his habit, Staff Sergeant McDonald was head-up, standing in the turret, scanning the countryside with binoculars as the tank moved. He focused on an oddly familiar shape, a seemingly inert German tank squatted at the edge of a small woodlot, one track knocked off.
…But the gun was moving…
Suddenly he let out a surprised shout. “Fuck! Mark Four, three o’clock, three hundred yards! Gunner!”
Ted had been looking in the other direction. He turned the turret frantically, shouting, “LOAD ARMOR -PIERCING!”
Alex McDonald slammed a black-tipped round into the gun and slammed the breech. “READY!”
Ted laid the sight on the German tank and stomped on the firing button just as the German machine’s gun spewed flame and smoke.
CLANGGGG!
The 75mm German armor-piercing round slammed through the Sherman’s engine compartment, tearing through the thin side armor as though it were cardboard. The tank staggered to a halt, the front end sliding into the narrow roadside ditch.
“GET OUT! GET OUT!” Sergeant Hampton was shouting. Ted threw open his hatch, grabbed the rim to haul himself out of the tank…
CLANGGGG!
Another round slammed into the tank, this one hitting towards the back of the turret. Ted shot out of the hatch. He saw Sergeant Hampton leap off the machine into the ditch, his trouser legs ablaze. Ted followed suit, leaping into the cold, muddy water. He pressed himself into the mud. The German tank was firing a machine gun now, probing for the fugitive tank crew. The tracers shot by overhead; Ted pressed his face into the mud.
There was a sudden explosion, then another. Two other Shermans in the column had turned to face the Panzer and obliterated it with several armor-piercing rounds.
Ted rolled onto his back. Sergeant Hampton lay a few feet away, groaning. The muddy water of the ditch had put out the fire on his trouser legs. “MEDIC!” Ted shouted. “MEDIC!”
He looked up at the tank. The ammo was cooking off. With a sudden roar, an explosion blasted the turret thirty feet into the air. The turret landed in the ditch on the other side of the road, upside-down, smoking. Nobody else had gotten out of the tank.
Ted stood up and instinctively did his soldier’s personal inventory: “Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch,” they had hammered home in training. Ted wore no spectacles, but he had his wallet, his holstered revolver, and a pocket compass. Other than that, he had nothing but the uniform he stood in, and, in his tunic’s breast pocket, a letter addressed to a girl in northern Alberta.
Two days later he found Staff Sergeant Hampton in a field hospital.
“I’ll be all right,” the NCO informed him. “Second degree burns, mostly. Hurts like hell, but they won’t kill me. They tell me this whole business will probably be over before I’m fit for duty again.” The old soldier lit a Player. He offered Ted the pack; Ted took one and lit it. “How about you?”
“Not a scratch, Sarge,” Ted told him. “Doesn’t hardly seem fair, does it? Didn’t even sprain my ankle jumping off the tank. Company commander says we have at least three crews needing a tank commander once we get some replacement tanks, so I guess I’ll be moving to another crew. Maybe they’ll bump me up to Sergeant. Anyway, I’ll be staying with the Regiment. Rumor is we’ll be moving into Germany. Once more into the breach.”
“Once more,” Sergeant Hampton agreed. “Well, you take care of yourself, Paige. You’re a hell of a good gunner. I expect you’ll make a good tank commander.” He extended his hand. “Keep your head down. See you in Hell.”
Ted shook the Sergeant’s hand. “See you in Hell, Sarge.”
Ted walked outside. It was snowing. He took the letter out of his pocket, looked at the envelope. For probably the hundredth time since their tank was hit, he read his best friend’s handwriting:
PENELOPE TESTAWICH
“I’m sure she remembers you, buddy. I’m sure she always will. And I’ll keep my promise.”
He wiped away a tear and walked off into the snow.
***
I’m a-wonderin’ if she remembers me at all
Many times I’ve often prayed
In the darkness of my night
In the brightness of my day
I’m having some fun doing these lyrics-as-story bits. If anyone has any requests/suggestions, I’ll give them a go.
I’m afraid I’m not well-versed in lyrics.
Well, just stanza right there and watch.
*narrows gaze*
Swissy, you should know by now that we’re never going to refrain from making puns.
I suspect he actually enjoys the odd riff or two, but has appearances to maintain.
I’ll note of that
take
Animal – if you want to branch out into a different genre, I recommend you try a roman a clef.
I did a story from song lyrics once (maybe more, but I can’t remember off the top of my head). “Walkaway Joe” by Trisha Yearwood. Normally, one doesn’t need to write a story around a country song because they’re self-contained stories, but I wanted to do it from the point of the view of the mother.
I mentioned “Rosemary, Lili, and the Jack of Hearts” but that one might be a little obvious.
How about Marty Robbins’ “El Paso”?
Great stuff, as always.
Service’s “The Cremation of Sam McGee”. At least you’re in the same neighborhood.
There are strange things done in the midnight sun…
“…By the men who moil for gold,”
I wonder if I can still do the whole thing from memory?
I used to have it memorized. Can’t pull up but a few lines now.
I don’t think there are any usable Neil Young tunes. But Joni Miitchell…
I love this one but probably material for a different author.
Nice job on this story, BTW. War really, really sucks. I didn’t need to get shot at to know this, but the story brings home the message. And yet, we have assholes on all sides of the (political) spectrum banging the drums of war, and the people are eating it up.
“Powderfinger” would be a good one.
Wasn’t familiar with that one. A bit too much like the current story, no?
Ah yeah, I didn’t think of that last line. I was thinking more of the more the red neck/bootlegger versus the revenuers story, or however you interpret the rest of the song.
We Didn’t Start the Fire.
Oh, my!
Justin Trudeau’s Downfall
LOL, well done!
What a disgrace to the Castro bloodline
Brilliant, esp. here and there where the translation is close.
The weird thing is that Bill Gates does not even look evil. He still looks like a geek, just not a 13 year old one any more. He’d better hurry up and work on his evil look if he’s going to hang with the likes of Soros and Schwab.
Excellent
I’m absolutely loving this one, Animal. Not gonna lie though, Alex’s death tore me up. Someone must be cutting onions nearby.
A little dust in the air here, too.
Another great chapter, Animal,
Wait until you read next week’s…
*sniffle*
Looking forward to it!
I was watching a video about the Colonge tank duel last weekend. Tank combat is brutal and messy,
Another great installment Animal! and there is more….
Thanks
This one hit kind of hard.
Really enjoying it.
Ozy Man and a golf loving crab. https://youtu.be/IL4SzZckC70
OK, which one of you is David Harsanyi?
Bonus – not one but two pics of that scumbag Surgeon General.
I’m not a conspiracy theorist, I’m a conspiracy analyst.
WTF does that even mean?
I think it means they’ve got their zillennial stringers captioning the article pics again.
Terrific, Animal.
I liked the switch to the German perspective. Good stuff!
https://www.thecountersignal.com/news/former-sniper-for-trudeau-is-now-head-of-freedom-convoy-security
Based.
Fuck yes.
Seconded.
Nice.
The RCMP snipers are generally down to party, too. Whatever stereotypes of Canadians you have, probably don’t apply to those dudes.
Not surprised. “Excessively polite” and “sniper” don’t seem to go together.
The couple of Marine snipers I have known indicate that they tend to be… raucous.
*BLAM* “Sore-y”
The current record holder for most distant hit on a live target is a Canadian SF guy.
If I were that dude, I would get a bunch of expended .50BMG brass, polish them up, laser-etch them with the word ‘SORRY!’, then leave one at every hide site I took a shot from…
2.19 miles
Yikes.
Anybody have any recommendations for staying in the Florida Keys in early June? Like which island, how to get around, best resort value, etc.? The fiancé and I will be flying there from Nashville with 2 teens. Also looking for a chapel there. Looks like there are some good deals on Expedia, flight and resort, but I’m a newb, so…
Nashville Teens?
I worked with Hawken in a grocery distribution center for a few years after he came to the states in the ’80s. He played with a local band in his spare time; at their gigs people would say, “wow, that piano player kicks ass!” They had no idea who he was. Nicest guy you’d ever meet.
It is weird, how good musicians have to be at their job just to earn a basic living, and even that’s not enough many times. The musicians I know here hustle for gigs constantly, have to be responsive AF, for fear of getting taken off call lists should they turn something down.
Chapel? Run, it’s a trap! /puts Plisade back in chains
We stayed here last month: https://www.captainpips.com/accommodations/
They have two properties about a mile apart. I would recommend the Hideaway & Marina (which is where we stayed). They’re a little dated/kitschy but right on the water. We had a covered deck facing north across the ocean. Very affordable. It’s NOT a resort so may not be what you’re looking for, but the unit we stayed in had a kitchenette which also helped with finances (there’s a grocery store about a mile away). It’s on Marathon which is roughly halfway, so cheaper than a lot of other places. You can get to Key West in less than an hour. You probably need a rental unless you decide to stay at an upmarket resort. We flew into Miami so it’s about a 2 hour drive. You can also fly into Fort Lauderdale, Key West or Marathon.
Ah, sweet. Ok, I’ll look into flying into Miami, too, and compare a la carte car, flight, hotel, to package deals. Thanks!
We stayed in Casa Marina in Key West twice in November and December. Once we flew directly into Key West. There you don’t need a car. The other three flights were to/from MIA/FLL. It’s a pleasant drive on the Oversees highway.
Thanks! It is looking like some all inclusive places are comparable, flight & stay, to a la carte.
The Hatfields and the McCoys winter addition.
Snow blowers are asshole.
More proof that we need more global warming.
Same guys that plow the road and leave a humongous berm for me
*clutches pearls*
This is beyond being a demagogue to the stuff of dictators. He is defying the rule of law. Failure to confront a tyrant only encourages bad behavior. If thinking Americans don’t understand what Trump is doing and what the criminal justice system must do we are all in big trouble!
Pardoning trespassers will destroy democracy. Or something…
The left at this point is nothing but a bunch of shrieking imbeciles. They cannot even remember what their mission was from that communist manifesto, now it’s just batshit crazy all day, every day.
I don’t want to hear a single goddamned thing from anybody associated with Nixon.
Tricky Dick is the godfather of the modern GOP, not Reagan. Massive administrative programs, dumping the gold standard, stagflation…
Not to mention that those we inherited from him like Cheney and Rumsfeld have been warmongers of the first order.
And now Cheney’s crummy little toady offspring, who has beome sort of a cult hero to the left, sort of like McCain was.
Take it from a Nixon White House counsel, he knows all about following the law.
The only way to stop fascism is to throw people in jail indefinitely for their political viewpoints, and to aggressively censor any information contrary to what the government says.
Justin says the Truckers are mean hosers from his secret hideout
Canada’s PM Justin Trudeau accuses the trucker convoy crowd of “hateful rhetoric” and “violence toward citizens,” he rather prefers to attend BLM protests.
Go fuck yourself.
he rather prefers to attend BLM protests
Sure he would. They are totally peaceful, not a chance anything could go wrong. Do it, I say, and be sure you don’t bring any bodyguards; wouldn’t want to frighten the innocent protestors.
I see Twink of the North scared Putin too. Between Kammy mean face and Twink talk, I bet that Putin sure is scart real good.
We’ll all be living on the sides of cliffs in little pods before long. SpaceX is going to break the moon.
The peasants are getting uppity.
France Prime Minister Jean Castex gets Mauled by The People…Soon they won’t be able to walk the streets…Keep it Peaceful but make their lives a living hell… Long Live the People
Ve haz plans for these useless eaters, a gweat weset!
If you start me up, don’t ever stop
Oh those crazy Russkies, what will they think of next?
“My work is connected with the mournful events that happen in the life of every person, so I, as a specialist in such a difficult field, can help in the quality organization of the funeral,” Mazzafarov said, according to the video’s caption translated from Russian.
Bonus: enough puns in the article to merit a narrowed gaze.
Probably the safest clients they’ve ever worked for.
Oh fuck off. Hire somebody else then.
Bury me naked. I have no more need of clothes after I’m dead.
Dress me up like Klaus Schwab at the beach and put me in the living room recliner for all I care.
There’s been a few references to that so I looked it up.
I may never see properly again.
What the hell did I just look at?
You weren’t kidding.
Thanks, I wasn’t interested before, now double not interested.
Thanks for taking one…
I think there was an old joke about burying people with their butts in the air so their relatives have a place to park their bicycles.
Willie the Wimp
It is the NY Post…even I cannot keep up with them.
Clint, take it away.
I like it.
Preposterous hogwash
But in certain corners of the Republican Party, being anti-mandate is not politically sufficient. Influencers and a subset of lawmakers have argued that the campaign to get people vaccinated and boosted itself is problematic. Their skepticism is driven by a belief that government bureaucrats have grown power hungry and that pharmaceutical executives are trying to line their pockets.
Their motives are pure as the driven snow.
It really is remarkable to see what the Left has turned into.
They’re full on whores for pill-pushers now.
It really is remarkable. Just a few years ago big pharma was the devil incarnate, taking advantage of poor sick people. But now they make $2B profits in a year, and lobby for everyone of every age to get shots and boosters every year (resulting in even more profits), and they are the heroes. Politics really does cause brain damage.
Relevant
the campaign to get people vaccinated and boosted itself is problematic
Just a friendly reminder that I had first hand knowledge of certain universities working with certain leftist non-profits and certain tech companies back in October 2020 to “modify the behavior of the vaccine hesitant”. Which vaccine were people hesitating about? The theoretical-at-the-time results of Operation Warp Speed.
The campaign is problematic because it’s a farce. They were hyping the vax before it was out of phase 2 trials. They had built up such a head of steam by the time it was publicly available that they couldn’t change course, even if it was killing people.
a belief that government bureaucrats have grown power hungry
You’d have to be some kind of nut to believe that.
pharmaceutical executives are trying to line their pockets
The mission of Pharma is to make money. The contracts with their executives pay big bonuses for making more money. Pharma execs are, in fact, beyond dispute, trying to line their pockets.
Say what you will about the nazis, at least they weren’t racist says notable racism expert Whoopi Goldberg.
What’s the over/under on the ADL weighing in on this one?
Now I’m wondering if Sarah Silverman is willing to accuse Ms. Goldberg of Jewface.
Lol what.
Whoopi does know that she isn’t Jewish, right? Caryn Johnson has had the fake stage name for so long, maybe she forgot.
These fucking people.
What happened to his black friend?
Teaching history and teaching that something in present day America, is happening to black people because they are black are two very different things.
This. Unfortunately you can’t have those conversations in good faith anymore. Try to express the truth that race is only skin deep, but culture goes to the core. You’ll be called racist faster than a 4chan hand signal.
To a CRT adherent like Whoopi, there’s no such thing as racism against white people, Jews are white people, ergo, the Holocaust wasn’t about race.
https://www.reddit.com/r/ATBGE/comments/sgoxg4/a_porsche_taycan_with_firebird_livery_not_my_photo/
lulz
Me too.
This is how it must feel to make out with a cute tranny…
https://www.reddit.com/r/WeirdToilets/comments/se20oe/the_carpet_makes_it_worse/
*facepalm*
Just a few years ago big pharma was the devil incarnate, taking advantage of poor sick people. But now they make $2B profits in a year, and lobby for everyone of every age to get shots and boosters every year (resulting in even more profits), and they are the heroes. Politics really does cause brain damage.
If your public policy fits the textbook definition of fascism, it’s time to get a new textbook.
I love this guy’s work. you might not think he can bring this one to an amazing end but he does https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JeAfVoA_iE (long video, but worth it, IMO)