As Seen on TV: Awake

by | Jan 11, 2022 | Entertainment, Film, Opinion | 263 comments

AWAKE (2012) NBC

IMDB synopsis:

After a car accident takes the life of a family member, a police detective lives two alternating parallel lives, one with his wife and one with his son. Is one of his “realities” merely a dream?

Have you ever had a dream that was so good you didn’t want to wake up? That is the idea that ‘Awake’ takes to the extreme. Most often dreams are one off things. But what if every night your dream continued, and when you went to sleep in the dream you woke up in reality and when you went to sleep in reality you woke up in the dream?  How could you distinguish which is actually reality?

In ‘Awake’ Jason Isaacs stars as Detective Michael Britten. In reality his son died in a car accident, while his wife survived. When he falls asleep he dreams of a world where his wife died, but his son survived…or is it the other way around?

This show deals with the philosophical ideas of what reality actually is like so many shows and movies, but in a much more relatable way. We all dream, and we all wake up. Sometimes in the groggy between we may have some confusion over which is which, but what happens when that confusion is never cleared? Also, if the scenario were real, which reality would you choose to believe? The one where your child is alive and your spouse is dead? Or the one where your spouse is alive and your child is dead?

On top of this, it was also a procedural cop show, where Detective Britten would find clues to the case he was working on in the ‘other’ world. Sadly, this was a one and done series and lot of things didn’t get wrapped up before it was taken off the air. But was still an interesting watch that I would recommend if you can find it.

 

About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

263 Comments

  1. ron73440

    Is it an American show?

    Sounds interesting, where can I watch?

    • ron73440

      That’s 2 11:00 firsts in a row.

      Suck it Brochetta!

      • Brochettaward

        11:00am? Tell me you’re not a Firster without telling me you’re not a Firster.

        There is one time zone recognized by The Great Firster.

      • Ted S.

        The one true time zone is UTC.

        And it’s expressed in ISO-8601.

      • slumbrew

        This guy gets it.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        Yeah, no. The Pacific time zone, and PAC12!, are clearly the best.

      • juris imprudent

        You basing that on Cal winning the NCAA water polo title?

      • UnCivilServant

        Stop letting him push poor behaviour into the discourse..

      • Brochettaward

        UCS is just angry that he went out and bought an expensive pair of Firsting gloves, and he still loses.

        He just can’t accept that it is his lot in life to be second.

      • UnCivilServant

        If you think that, you are a sad, sad little man.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        First is for links only, not articles.
        you both lost.

      • ron73440

        Story of my life.

      • Rat on a train

        Yeah, but it isn’t the real 1100.

      • Gustave Lytton

        But Jason Isaacs is one of those limeys trying to pass off as ‘Murican.

        Speaking of mixed up cross Atlantic roles, at the time of The Avengers, Patrick McNee was an American citizen. Diana Rigg, who to me appears much more US/non English both in voice and after years hosting Mystery!, was always English.

  2. Sean

    It sounds vaguely familiar, but I’m not sure if I watched it.

  3. ron73440

    OT- TPTB: I will submit the 3rd daily Stoic tonight, could it be published Friday?

    I’ll be on a ship tomorrow and Thursday.

      • ron73440

        Thank you

      • ron73440

        Went to finish it up and it says scheduled, but I can’t access it.

      • Swiss Servator

        I will put it back in Drafts. Looked done…

      • ron73440

        Thanks

  4. Not Adahn

    How could you distinguish which is actually reality?

    You can’t read in dreams.

    • ron73440

      When I lived in Japan, I knew I was getting fluent when I started dreaming in Japanese.

      • Sean

        “ROH NO, GODZILLA!!”

      • Rat on a train

        It freaked me out when I had my first Russian dream at DLI before I remembered I was just Yuri.

      • Sensei

        日本語も読めますか?

    • UnCivilServant

      Where did that myth get started?

    • CPRM

      I have.

      • hayeksplosives

        I’ve solved calculus problems in dreams.

        Then I woke up and immediately implemented the solution in my homework assignment.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        I’ve solved electronics troubleshooting/repair issues while sleeping.

      • The Last American Hero

        I solved the problem of getting Jenny from English class into my bed while dreaming.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yep same here. The brains are awesome like that

    • EvilSheldon

      I can. Bits and pieces, anyway.

    • rhywun

      What I can’t do in a dream is look in a mirror. It makes my head hurt.

    • The Other Kevin

      They say if you die in a dream you die in real life, but last week for the first time I had a dream in which I died. A very large guy had me pinned to the ground and punched me hard in the side of the head. I thought “that just killed me” and I woke up. (Or did I….)

      • ron73440

        Did you wake up strapped to your hockey sled?

    • R C Dean

      I don’t remember my dreams in any detail at all. The ones I do remember are nearly all “frustration” dreams – I can’t find something, I lose things, stuff doesn’t work, that kind of thing.

    • Rat on a train

      Regardless of whether you can read the sign on the door, don’t use a toilet in your dreams.

      • Mojeaux

        Bladder of cast iron, right here. I can wait till I wake up no matter how badly I have to go or how Tylenol PMd I am.

  5. DEG

    Have you ever had a dream that was so good you didn’t want to wake up?

    Yes. And then my alarm went off.

    • Rat on a train

      Alternately a dream so bad you wanted to wake up but couldn’t? Please let the last couple years be a bad dream.

  6. Tundra

    Thanks, CPRM. That looks pretty good.

    There are an awful lot of one-season shows that probably should have made a longer run.

    Like Keen Eddie

    • The Other Kevin

      Pushing Daisies was one of our favorites, but it lasted 2 seasons and was abruptly canceled.

      • UnCivilServant

        I wondered what became of it.

      • CPRM

        Way to make me cancel an article brah. Loved that show.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Dead Like Me was the two-season series that I still think was killed off too soon (although it was showing signs of going off the rails from the middle of the second season onwards).

        Another one I liked was Defying Gravity, a one-season that had promise. Always liked Laura Harris (she was also in Dead Like Me), but it seems like everything she’s in doesn’t last.

        And last but not least, Vegas (the 2012-2013 one) with Dennis Quaid, Michael Chiklis and Carrie-Anne Moss.

      • Mojeaux

        Dead Like Me was brilliant. I believe it was canceled because Mandy Patinkin got on his high horse YET AGAIN about SOMETHING. Fucking diva.

      • Ownbestenemy

        That is exactly what happened. He then scurried to Criminal Minds and whined and bitched there. Socks cause on his advanced age, he is an awesome actor

      • Gustave Lytton

        Similar feelings. Enjoyed him in Homeland, until that show shit the bed. But as an actor, he seems like a colleague from hell.

      • kinnath

        Homeland would have been a perfect one-season show.

      • Gustave Lytton

        But then it wouldn’t have gotten to where our IC is shown as duplicitous, craven, and falling for foreign plots.

      • robc

        Firefly is an obvious one.

        Also Dollhouse, sticking on the Whedon theme.

        Both would have been treated better by a streaming service. The firefly story is well known, but for Dollhouse, apparently the network wanted too many “monster of the week” episodes and Whedon wanted more plot advancement.

        Its the difference between a 10 episode streaming season and a 22 episode network season.

      • PieInTheSky

        i liked Dead Like Me

      • Sensei

        Liked both “Pushing Daisies” and “Dead Like Me”.

      • kinnath

        Pushing Daisies was ruined by the writer’s strike part way through the second season. When they came back from the strike with new writers, it was an entirely different show and was cancelled quickly.

        Before the strike, it was one of my favorite shows of all time.

      • Nephilium

        Blame Bryan Fuller. He keeps coming up with interesting ideas for shows that have a promising first season, then get cancelled during the second season (or he pisses off someone and gets removed from the show after the first season).

      • slumbrew

        Man, Hannibal was so good…

    • CPRM

      Keen Eddie
      TV Series
      2003–2004

      Ah, yeah, I was in college then…not much TV watching going on. Even missed Firefly in it’s original run.

    • Not Adahn

      or Cop Rock?

    • PieInTheSky

      Better Off Ted got 2 seasons but at the time I wanted more

    • Rat on a train

      Police Squad
      Brimstone
      maybe Crusade if not under TNT

      • ron73440

        I loved that show.

        I bought the DVD because my wife had never seen it. As proof she has no taste(besides marrying me) she said it was “kind of funny”.

        The one where he’s in anger management is one of the funniest things ever on TV.

  7. Urthona

    OT: Fauci getting destroyed by Paul again right now and it’s hilarious.

    • ron73440

      I kind of knew this in the abstract sense, but one thing the COVID regime has taught me, is that no matter what obvious lies the government is caught in, there will always be bootlickers to defend or deflect.

    • WTF

      And nothing else will happen. Fauci is protected.

      • Lackadaisical

        Exactly. Congressional oversight is a joke.

    • Tundra

      Rand or Ru?

      Because I would actually tune in for the latter.

    • The Other Kevin

      They’re both grandstanding, but I wish he’d have pushed very specifically on that email about a devastating takedown of a contrary opinion. Fauci of course never addresses that directly.

      • Urthona

        He said “you’re distorting the facts”, but apparently cannot deign to point out in what way he is.

      • juris imprudent

        Fauci didn’t climb to the top of the bureaucracy by not being able to twist and distort a Congressional inquiry.

      • Urthona

        Except he doesn’t appear willing to say anything at all in his defense.

      • juris imprudent

        Oh he is defending – he refuses to acknowledge the legitimacy of the attack.

        And really, what the hell is Paul going to DO anyway. He just talks against the narrative that Fauci benefits from. To engage meaningfully would be to admit that Paul’s points have merit.

    • R C Dean

      I guarantee you the Narrative will be that Fauci pwned Paul yet again.

      And if I hear anything about this from my colleagues, it will be that Fauci pwned Paul yet again.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Fauci owned Paul by not answering questions, and then using his time once Paul stops interrupting (he was quick to interrupt) to cry about Paul’s fire Dr. Fauci website. This website you see, is the reason Fauci gets death threats.

      • The Other Kevin

        Did a quick search of “fire dr fauci” on Google, then DuckDuckGo. The results are of course very different. But on Google, you are of course correct Mr. Dean.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Dr. Fauci and I finally agreed on something in our Senate hearing today pic.twitter.com/6MMX570yBn— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) January 11, 2022

      Lol.

  8. Lackadaisical

    I watched a few episodes of this, it was good, not sure why it didn’t catch on, maybe a little too sophisticated for most?

    I’d hate to have to choose between my son and my wife, because either would then be deprived as well… Tough choice, but I think I’d have to choose my son to live, that’s the choice my wife would want me to take, and it’s probably the morally correct choice.

    Plus, I can then marry some young thing and make more kids, so it’s win win.

    • ron73440

      Plus, I can then marry some young thing and make more kids, so it’s win win.

      I was watching the college championship and they showed the crowd. There was a 20 something girl doing “selfie face”.

      My wife asked me what I would do if single and on a date a woman did that.

      I told her I would have to go, and then begged my wife not to leave me, I couldn’t handle dating again.

      Sorry kid, you got to go, I can make another one just like you.

      • Lackadaisical

        You’re not wrong, except the last part.

        I wouldn’t marry an American, the good ones are too far and in-between.

      • Tundra

        Eastern European for me.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        18 YO Korean girl.

        Northern Korean.

        (But seriously, trying to get someone used to my ticks, follies, and perversions? Not sure I want to go through that again.)

      • juris imprudent

        You might want to lose the ticks.

      • UnCivilServant

        And any lice or fleas that might also be hiding amongst them.

  9. rhywun

    Hmph, I had this idea for a short story once. Didn’t finish it, natch.

    On top of this, it was also a procedural cop show

    Because of course it is. When the execs are afraid to stand behind an idea, throw some cops at it.

    • rhywun

      See also: FlashForward. The book’s protagonist was a scientist. The TV show turned him into an FBI agent. ?

  10. limey

    That sounds interesting. At least one glib has recommended that before.

    It seems strange to cast a limey as a yank when there are plenty of ‘merican actors. As an aside it seemed weird to make Dr. Strange American when it doesn’t really matter where he’s from, and I only bring that up because Benedict Cucumberpatch’s yank accent doesn’t sound that good to my ears. Wizards ought to be British.

    Which leads me into another tangent about a wizard being the ultimate deus ex machina and therefore a very easily abused plot device. In short: everything is Spider-Man now, including (bringing it back around) Awake.

    • rhywun

      American TV shows and movies are chock full of British actors for some reason. I’m always discovering new ones. ?

      • rhywun

        (I mean British actors pretending to be American.)

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        Or Canadians pretending to be human.

      • slumbrew

        Flappy-headed degenerates, the lot of them.

      • Lackadaisical

        Yeah, it’s annoying. Not sure why.

      • Urthona

        They always do that lame trick where they force their voice into a low and guttural register to sound American too. It’s so bad of a fake accent. I could not handle “House”:.

      • limey

        On the contrary I do a high-pitched Valley girl accent.

      • Urthona

        hawt

    • Plinker762

      Grand Wizards are Americans.

      • limey

        Heh.

    • Tundra

      Good article.

      I wonder the percentage of American adults who know what Nord Stream II is. 2%?

      • Lackadaisical

        Not even I. I’ve heard the term, but I’d have to ddg it.

      • juris imprudent

        Online shopping service with Nordstrom???

    • Urthona

      I’m gonna pass on finding out what it is until the complete the trilogy.

      Been burned too many times.

  11. Mojeaux

    Useful things that happened in my dreams:

    1) I was struggling with a plot problem for over 10 years. One night after quite a meltdown, I dreamed about how to fix it, which would entail gutting almost everything I’d ever written on that story without gutting the conceit. Voila, a book.

    2) One morning I woke up with an idea and thought, “Oh, that’s kinda cute.” I promptly forgot about it and went about my day, with my first stop being a DIY blog I was following. The two disparate things clicked in my head. Voila, a book.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      ?

      (Un accent grave pour toi, ma petite: voilà)

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Spleep iz gud. Ask the man without it.

      • Mojeaux

        I am lazy.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        je suis fréquemment paresseusse aussi: no te preocupes

        *hope you don’t mind the tutoyer

      • R C Dean

        I’m just impressed it didn’t autocorrect to “viola”.

        Or “vodka”.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I could lose several molars to “wahlah”, I tells ya.

      • Sensei

        My favorite is the usual comment “walla” in generic comments across the internet.

      • Mojeaux

        Persay.

      • Sensei

        That’s good too!

      • Ted S.

        What if you’re addressing a wallah?

      • slumbrew
      • Fatty Bolger

        You’ve peaked my interest.

  12. ron73440

    Worst dreams I had were in the Marine Corps.

    In the field for 12 weeks and dream about being in the field.

    Much rather have a scary ass dream, at least those are interesting.

    • WTF

      For me the worst dreams are work dreams. I’ve dreamt I was having a miserable, never-ending day at work, and then the alarm goes off and I have to go to work.

      • The Other Kevin

        Oh yeah. Those are soul crushing.

      • ron73440

        That’s what made the field dreams so bad.

        We were busting our humps for weeks at a time and running on no sleep.

        What little sleep you could get, all you did was dream about moving artillery pieces or humping shells.

  13. Timeloose

    I really liked this show. It was on Netflix when I went to the streaming service exclusively. I think there were some differences in filtering and color used in each and he had to put a wrist around his string to remind him which was which realty.

    It was a show that really should have been picked up, shame it wasn’t.

    A great concept for a show that got cancelled recently was Counterpart. Great plot idea and premise. Two worlds that were split off due to a experiment in Berlin in the 1980’s. There was a passageway between them that allowed both sides to covertly communicate and eventually attack each other covertly.

    They had a outbreak on one side that caused a societal change about wearing masks and forced compliance around disease and sickness (sound familiar). This outbreak killed 10-20% of the population however.

    • Fatty Bolger

      I watched Counterpart a couple of months ago and really enjoyed it. Crazy how it was dovetailing with reality by pure coincidence. Would have been very interesting to see how they handled that if the show hadn’t been cancelled.

      The outbreak killed 7% of the world population, btw.

  14. Raven Nation

    One of the interesting “cancellations that never happened” was The X-Files. When they filmed the final episode of the first season, there was no clarity on whether Fox was going to renew the show or not. It seems the main reason they did was that it was they still didn’t have much original programming so they green-lit a second season just to fill the schedule.

    • R C Dean

      The other big original Fox show of the ’90s was Millenium, which I thought was really good (mostly – there were a few meh episodes). I’d be interested to see how it aged.

      But what I really remember is they did the hardest thing – they ended it brilliantly. I honestly can’t think of another TV series that was ended nearly as well.

      And then renewed it for additional seasons, which I refused to watch.

      • kinnath

        I enjoyed that show quite a bit.

      • Ted S.

        What about the ending of “Newhart”?

    • Fatty Bolger

      A couple of years ago I binge watched the entire run of Futurama. I think it must have set a record for number of “series finales.”

  15. Mojeaux

    Oh! I just remembered something triggered by @TOK’s comment.

    From earliest childhood I can remember, I was plagued by a dream where tigers were chasing me and I was terrified and kept running and running until I woke up. This dream followed me into my late 20s, but the tiger was sometimes a bunch of thugs with knives. One night in my dream, I was too tired to run anymore. My legs hurt. I was out of breath. I just couldn’t go one step farther. So I turned around and held my hand out and said STOP. They stopped. I woke up. Never had the dream again.

    • Tundra

      I’ve had dreams where something/someone is after me, I’m armed but unable to load the gun.

      Heart is going pretty fast when I wake up.

      • The Other Kevin

        Very similarly, if I’m chased I often can’t move and I wake up just as “they” get to me. And I’m yelling, but I can’t tell if I yelled in real life or just in the dream.

      • R C Dean

        I’m armed but unable to load the gun

        Sounds like one of my “frustration” dreams.

      • Lackadaisical

        These euphemisms.

      • EvilSheldon

        I’ve had similar dreams, along the lines of having to pull the trigger and it weighing a thousand pounds… I’m told these are pretty common among gun people.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        That’s when I look down and see I have no pants on.

    • rhywun

      I’ll have to try that next time I dream I’m working another shitty hotel job. Sure sick of those.

    • Tulip

      I had a recurring dream when I was a kid that always presaged being sick, where things were calm, then scary and chaotic ( first sleeping in a well made bed, then thrashing in the sheets, next a parade, then a stampede with people screaming, last floating on a raft, then flood). I would wake up and be coughing or throwing up. It went away until I had the flu in 2019. That time I woke up to the dog standing over me whining.

  16. Trigger Hippie

    I hate remembering my dreams. Seem to have nightmares, mostly. The worst are the night terrors but luckily they only happen once every few years. Waking up shaking, screaming, crying, flailing about… I’ve hurt myself during those before. One of the big reasons I smoke weed is it suppresses my ability to dream or at least remember them.

    • l0b0t

      “One of the big reasons I smoke weed is it suppresses my ability to dream or at least remember them.”

      #metoo

  17. PieInTheSky

    because everyone is talking dreams I remember mst if them for 5 minutes and if I do not make a concentrated effort no more than that. Most are weird but few scary or disturbing.

    For me dreams are a good sign I actually slept because I have moments when I am in this weird state between sleep and wakefulness and am trying to fall asleep and I do not rest in that state and sometimes have difficulty judging the sleep and if I dream it means I slept deep enough for that.

    I also have a weird thing that I get in bed I fall asleep fast and immediately have very vivid dream I wake up like 20 min after going to bed and then I have difficulty falling asleep

    beyond that i did not see the show

    • Ownbestenemy

      She only needed her back anyway…not nice cause I know she spread out her business wings…okay, she doubled down on her efforts and took big risks…

  18. Ownbestenemy

    I’ve mentioned before but my worst dreams are my hockey stress dreams. Can’t get blade guards off, no laces, can’t find my way out of locker room. Think my brain is telling me to go play hockey

    • Tundra

      Your brain is correct.

  19. pistoffnick

    Have you ever had a dream that was so good you didn’t want to wake up?

    SIR! THIS IS A FAMILY FRIENDLY WEBSITE!

  20. UnCivilServant

    I hate apple products.

    My work-issued phone is an iPhone. They want me to update the iOS version. The phone says “No, I need to be wired to iTunes to do that”. iTunes goes “What phone?”

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Must be the original iphone.

      • UnCivilServant

        Helpdesk said it was an iPhone 6.

        I use it to attend meetings, so… *shrug*

      • R C Dean

        I had one of those for years. Never had that issue with the iOS updates.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Oh, that may as well be an original iPhone.

    • juris imprudent

      Ah, speaking of iPhone

      iMessage brands texts from iPhone users with a blue background and gives them additional features, while texts from Android phones are shown in green and only have the base SMS feature set. According to the article, “Teens and college students said they dread the ostracism that comes with a green text. The social pressure is palpable, with some reporting being ostracized or singled out after switching away from iPhones.” Google feels this is a problem.

      I set aside all commentary on our aging and incompetent ruling class – this is now the prime reason I see for this society/country being doomed.

    • UnCivilServant

      Earlier today I had to do a factory reset to get the phone re-registered with the state’s system.

      The default setting is awfully judgemental

      “It looks like you have a busy day tomorrow – 7 meetings”

      Busy? 7 is light.

  21. Urthona

    One time I dreamed I was diving into an enormous swimming pool, and when I woke up I was all wet.

    • UnCivilServant

      So they FBI is confirming that they are behind the whole thing.

      Got it.

    • Gustave Lytton

      “I can’t answer that.”

      “Sgt at arms, take the witness into custody and lodge them under contempt of Congress. The FBI has 60 minutes to produce a SES employee who can answer these questions or the entire leadership of the FBI will also be arrested for contempt and held for impeachment or pending dismissal, starting with Director Wray.”

      • Drake

        You are imaging we have a real functioning representative government – one where just about every member of Congress isn’t compromised.

    • Ownbestenemy

      State secrets!! Just like they had contractors with drones bear riots….fuck em all

    • R C Dean

      I don’t know why they don’t just lie and say “No”. Its not like anything will happen, even if they get caught.

      • rhywun

        Right?!

    • R C Dean

      Ted Cruz has his flaws, Allah knows, but he knows how to question a recalcitrant witness. I might have taken a different tack.

      She refused to answer because of “sources and methods”. I would have pressed her on whether that applies when there are no FBI assets involved in something, or whether it is an admission there were.

      I would have also pressed her on whether her refusal to answer was based on any official FBI policy, regulation or court decision, or whether the FBI can just refuse to answer anything it pleases by chanting “sources and methods”.

      If somebody drove a natural gas tanker into the FBI building and levelled it, I wouldn’t shed a tear.

      • R C Dean

        And on her refusal to answer whether FBI assets committed any crimes or incited any crimes, I would have asked if committing or inciting crimes were FBI “sources and methods”. Sources of what, and methods to accomplish what, exactly?

      • juris imprudent

        Sources and methods is a term of art for intelligence, and intelligence is supposed to be gathered on our foreign adversaries (and friends). What possible relevance does that have to a CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION that has to expose all evidence and how it was collected in a court of law?

      • Drake

        Cruz is a political weather-vane. He got a good spanking last week for his dumb statements, so now he’s after the FBI in a big way.

        He’ll still vote to fund the FBI of course, even after they have proven to be our enemy.

      • Gender Traitor

        If somebody drove a natural gas tanker into the FBI building and levelled it, I wouldn’t shed a tear.

        I might, but it would depend on who was driving.

    • rhywun

      The women honored will be from ethnically, racially, and geographically diverse backgrounds.

      Whew. I was worried about that.

    • juris imprudent

      average persons holding firsts

      So Bro’s image will be on a quarter?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Just as soon as he births that First, he’ll qualify. No quarter for losers.

    • Nephilium

      It’s starting here in CLE as well:

      Why do Starbucks workers want to unionize? We ask 4 workers in downtown Cleveland

      If you ask barista Joseph Nappi why he wants to unionize Starbucks, he’ll say he’s inspired by his grandfather, a former union president who fought for things like wages, training and workplace safety at his steel plant in Ashtabula.

      Nappi said his grandfather’s union fought to get workers treated fairly. Nappi, 20, is hopeful a new Starbucks union can provide the same.

      “I think Starbucks could become a place people spend their careers at,” Nappi said.

      Because a coffee shop is just like a steel plant. And what happened to the steel plants?

      • Tundra

        That’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever read.

      • Swiss Servator

        “I want to work at Starbucks my whole working life…and I want to end up making $95K a year and lots of benefits!”

      • Nephilium

        But without moving up into management.

      • limey

        Heavy lies the crown.

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, from a 20 year old? More dumb than sad.

      • rhywun

        I hear Senior Coffee Engineer pays well. Like MW plus two dollars.

      • Sean

        Look, a rice crispy treat is nothing to fool around with. You could easily lose an eye serving one to a customer.

      • Sensei

        True enough. Although I’d argue that Starbucks’ workers have more injury risk than most unionized government workers.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Spoken like someone who has never worked in a unionized workplace. It’s all lovey doves at this stage. Wait til you get down the road a bit, and Starbucks starts using it to their advantage. Wages, shift selection, advancement openings, moving to another location, store seniority… don’t like it, talk to your unionist, that’s what they bargained for.. so sad, too bad.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And then there’s the union itself which will see you as an annoying chicken to be harvested while being fed shit. Ask Harry Beck about how much control you’ll have over “your” union.

      • Sensei

        I’m having flashbacks of working at my unionized grocery store in high school.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Oh, you have a date this Saturday? Of course you can take the day off.. nope, you’re lowest on the seniority list. Show up or be fired. Reminds me, UFCW notified us that you haven’t paid your initiation fee yet, so your next three paychecks will be $10 until it’s paid.

      • Sensei

        The reason I worked every Sunday was that it was mandatory 1.5x pay. No way they were going to put the senior staff on Sunday. But… each senior staff was allowed to work a minimum of one Sunday if they desired.

        Unreal…

      • R C Dean

        When there were rumblings about nurses unionizing, I would say “Who wants more bosses? Because a union is just more bosses for you. You’ll still have the ones you have now, and you’ll have to answer to the union.”

      • Lackadaisical

        Next thing you know for old fashioned American brewed coffee will be a thing of the past.

        Buffalo got there first, and second for Starbucks unionization. We’re so progressive and right thinking.

      • slumbrew

        Where has Lach been, anyway?

    • Translucent Chum

      Sea Smith perks up.

      • Tundra

        We’re not gonna sea him again for months.

      • Translucent Chum

        News report: The last confirmed sighting of Sea Smith was caught on a traffic cam. He was headed south on the A1A with in a pickup truck filledd with mackeral and White Claw.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        LOL

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        He’s urchin for some action.

      • Tundra

        He’ll have a whale of a good time!

        (RIP McAfee)

      • juris imprudent

        That’s a moray!

      • Tundra

      • juris imprudent

        Oh my, I’m blushing!

    • rhywun

      I’d be more surprised if they didn’t have it.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      I guess they’ll have to add a lesbian dolphin section to Pr0nhub.

      • limey

        Add?

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        You’re probably right. It’s probably there with the stepsister dolphin section.

    • Sensei

      Male dolphins still not especially interested.

      • R C Dean

        “Eh. What’s in it for me?”

      • slumbrew

        “Pshaw, the female orgasm is a myth”

      • R C Dean

        “I know I’ve never seen one.”

      • Sean

        lol

  22. Tulip

    Thanks for this CPRM. This is great and I look forward to more.

    • Sean

      /points

      Haha!

    • Translucent Chum

      It started out interestingly and fell apart. My kids made fun of me for finishing it.

      • kinnath

        I finished it.

        Then wondered why I finished it.

      • Tundra

        Who would have thought that having the CCP as creative consultants would wreck the movies?

    • juris imprudent

      Friend and I were discussing the CD rant on this kind of reboot. I said the problem is these make money, and that’s why they keep doing it.

      Lose money and maybe have to go find something more creative.

      • Drake

        Read this today.

        The general consensus is that the reboot and remake are a sign that Hollywood has run out of creative writers. The wrinkly brains are now in the technical end, making cool graphics and special effects. The writers arrive in a short bus. This cultural dead end where they just keep rebooting prior ideas has reached a point where they are rebooting reboots of reboots now. The only novelty is they are stripping away anything of interest and replacing it with ideology.

      • R C Dean

        I’ve theorized that Hollywood lost a lot of talent to the video game industry, as well.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Postmodernist art in a nutshell.

        That’s why I refer to artists like David Byrne as modernists. He’s still creating instead of rehashing and tearing down. Postmodernists create nothing except pain and misery.

      • wdalasio

        I think the problem is that the franchise has killed the movie. Traditional movies function as stand-alone stories. They have a self-contained narrative arc and character development. You can watch the movie and go home and form your opinion of it. Even if it makes for great art, the risk reward trade-off is a lot better for something you can take an option out on five more installments if the movie proves a success. But, the incentive there isn’t just to give the audience a stand-alone good time with that story. It’s also to bring them back for the next installment in the franchise.

      • Drake

        I could imagine doing cool movies with John Ringo and David Drake stories that have sequels – but your average Hollywood Producer would faint at their politics.

        Larry Correia’s Monster Hunter series is a no-brainer for a movie or HBO type series. But their politics are incompatible with his.

      • rhywun

        Larry Correia’s Monster Hunter series is a no-brainer for a movie or HBO type series. But their politics are incompatible with his.

        Same with Repairman Jack. I’m kind of glad – I would hate to see someone wreck it.

      • invisible finger

        ^^This.

        And that problem is the fault of chicken-shit movie executives that won’t take a chance on a new stand-alone movie and instead want the “easy” route of a reboot which they think will have a built-in audience.

        There are plenty of talented writers in Hollywood, but the big studios just won’t risk any money on them. One would think a good writer would get a five-movie option but instead it is just the “brand” that gets the option. So the writers look to HBO, Netflix, etc. for buyers of their script outlines. With cable/streaming under the same corporate umbrellas as movie studios, the result is the movie studios are now the minor leagues unless they get a star attached to a movie script.

      • Ted S.

        Ricardo Cortez was the ultimate Sam Spade.

    • rhywun

      What was woke about it? I’m probably never going to watch it.

      • Plisade

        I saw it and whatever was woke about it was unremarkable, to me anyway. Someone had blue hair?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Other than all good people were women or minorities and all bad people were straight white dudes?

        Reeves being the lone exception, but they didn’t have much of a choice there so they just neutered his character like they did Luke Skywalker in Star Wars.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        I haven’t seen it and probably won’t, but my understanding is that the creators are not happy about how people are using the phrase “red pilled” and the movie is an attempt to address that.

      • Mojeaux

        Once your work is out in the public, it’s no longer yours.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It was blatant in its disdain for that.

        Seemed childish.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        the creators are not happy

        The trans-twins.

      • R C Dean

        Their bad luck that “blue pill” and Team Blue line up, so “red pill” was too easy to get taken up as anti-Narrative.

      • Rat on a train

        Did they make the red pill put you back to sleep?

      • Urthona

        The Matrix didn’t even invent the red pill/blue pill thing. That was a Philosophy 101 cliche before the movie came out.

      • slumbrew

        Next you’ll tell me that the entire philosophy of the Matrix wasn’t unique but just warmed over Manichaeism.

    • creech

      Good for him. And not an issue because shooter and shootee were of same race.

  23. rhywun

    Today in Fun with Statistics:

    NY Post is still riding the “pandemic of the unvaccinated” train. Jabs in arms, dummies.

    I’m so sick of this shit I’m not even going to add a quote. We seen it all before.

    • Penguin

      No mention of jab side effects, including numerous lethal ones in teens and 20-somethings.

      • rhywun

        Or the fact that the risk of serious illness or death is way down from the tiny percentage of risk from the Alpha variant or whatever the fuck they’re calling it.

        “This tiny risk is huger than this other tiny risk over there. Be afraid!”

        No.

  24. Certified Public Asshat

    Covid cases in Israel are now 5x their previous high. This is success.

  25. Semi-Spartan Dad

    Hillary Clinton’s 2024 Election Comeback
    https://www.wsj.com/articles/hillary-clinton-2024-comeback-president-biden-harris-democrat-nominee-race-2022-midterm-loss-11641914951

    A perfect storm in the Democratic Party is making a once-unfathomable scenario plausible: a political comeback for Hillary Clinton in 2024.

    Several circumstances—President Biden’s low approval rating, doubts over his capacity to run for re-election at 82, Vice President Kamala Harris’s unpopularity, and the absence of another strong Democrat to lead the ticket in 2024—have created a leadership vacuum in the party, which Mrs. Clinton viably could fill.

    She is already in an advantageous position to become the 2024 Democratic nominee. She is an experienced national figure who is younger than Mr. Biden and can offer a different approach from the disorganized and unpopular one the party is currently taking.

    The Clinton syndicate has begun their play for 2024.

    • Ed Wuncler

      Do it. I want her to run so bad, so she can be humiliated for the third and final time.

      • rhywun

        Maybe her plan all along was to have the Biden administration run into the ground so she can swoop in and “save” the Party.

        *shudder*

    • juris imprudent

      Yes, yes they have. Sid Blumenthal even crawled out from under his rock.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      BWAHAHAHAHHAHHHHAHAHAHHA… *blam*

      *falls over from sudden-onset lead poisoning*

      • Gustave Lytton

        *falls forward from self delivered multiple shots to back of head*

    • R C Dean

      Stop it, I can only get so hard.

      Wait, that came out wrong.

      • slumbrew

        *makes a note*

        The internet is forever.

  26. Ted S.

    I’ve reached the point where I prefer the term “jab”, because it’s clear it’s just a totemic needle, not a vaccine.

    • slumbrew

      Just replace “vax” with “sacrament”

    • juris imprudent

      Maybe they could add a little ink to the injection and just call it the COVID tattoo?

      • juris imprudent

        Listening to Army 2-star talking about how he and his family all got boosted. Even mixed the Moderna with Pfizer!

      • R C Dean

        Pretty sure its the Unclean who will be getting tattoos on their arms.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, the word was more annoying back when I didn’t know any better and we were supposed to take the baby-talk seriously. Now it’s fun to ridicule it.

  27. ron73440

    Tom Woods has a good email today.

    Intro:

    Udi Qimron, head of the Department of Microbiology and Immunology at Tel Aviv University and a leading Israeli immunologist, has taken the opportunity posed by the collapsing narrative to release this open letter to the authorities (this is a mechanical translation from the original Hebrew):

    Ministry of Health, it’s time to admit failure

    In the end, the truth will always be revealed, and the truth about the coronavirus policy is beginning to be revealed. When the destructive concepts collapse one by one, there is nothing left but to tell the experts who led the management of the pandemic – we told you so.