IFLA: The “Unfortunate Juju” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of January 16

by | Jan 16, 2022 | IFLA | 133 comments

A ball on a sheet of ice is more fun to play with than one on grass.

 

We’re still dealing with Venus being retrograde, but starting on Monday we get to experience that plus our old friend MERCURY RETROGRADE.  You’ve been through this before.  Make sure everything is strapped down securely, seal all the doors and windows and whatever you do watch what you say around your domestic partner.  This is especially important since the moon is getting involved to add even more piggeldy to your higgeldy.

I know Capricorns complain a lot about their lot in life, but honestly, your month is ending on a pretty barren note.  Venus retrograde, and that’s it.

 

Lily grabs whatever handle you give her and uses it to control her opponents

Capricorn:  5 of Swords –  Wreaking havoc on your enemies and profiting from it.

Aquarius:  2 of Cups reversed – A promise broken.

Pisces:  Ace of Wands reversed – Fall, decadence, ruin, perdition, erectile dysfunction.

Aries: The Empress reversed –  Light, truth, the unravelling of involved matters, public rejoicings, vacillation.

Taurus:  Knight of Cups reversed – Trickery, artifice, subtlety, swindling, duplicity, fraud.

Gemini:  The Star reversed – Arrogance, haughtiness, impotence.

Cancer:  9 of Cups reversed – Truth, loyalty, liberty, mistakes, imperfections.

Leo:  7 of Coins reversed –  Cause for anxiety regarding money, especially if lending or regarding investments.

Virgo:  The Sun – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment.

Libra:  7 of Wands –  Valor, competition — especially socially, success.

Scorpio:  8 of Wands – Activity in undertakings, swiftness, great haste, great hope, love.

Sagittarius:  6 of Swords – Journey by water, an easy task, bringing problems with you.

 

Missing lag bolt? No, I don’t think I’ve seen this missing lag bolt. What did it look like?

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

133 Comments

  1. CPRM

    Trickery, artifice, subtlety, swindling, duplicity, fraud.

    sounds about right. I need more patrons.

    Repost from the end of the dead thread:
    The world is terrible. I just found out they’ve made a GRITTY REBOOT of…The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Fuck everyone and everything.

    • Penguin

      The NEW Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Starring MC Ren.

    • limey

      So basically it’s The O.C.?

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        It’s the O. Dear.

    • Nephilium

      There’s also reboots of Night Court (original just landed on IMDBtv for free with commercials), Quantum Leap, Babylon 5, Fraiser, The Real World, and Degrassi currently in the works.

      I’m sure I’ve missed a couple…

      • Ted S.

        How many reboots of Degrassi have there been already?

      • Drake

        So many great old shows to ruin with woke writing…

      • Penguin

        Could you imagine a woke House, M.D?

      • R C Dean

        Imagine it?

        I live it.

    • kinnath

      Will Smith — executive producer.

      Cashing in while fucking over the show that broke him into a wide audience.

  2. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    Light, truth, the unravelling of involved matters, public rejoicings, vacillation.

    I kind of need this right now. Except vacillation, which I already have in surplus.

  3. Fourscore

    KK, I just posted late on the dead one.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      Thanks 20×4…I think my dad may have some ideas like yours, but generally he has been trying to get me to live closer to him for years. He suggested I buy the lot next door to him when he and my Ma lived in NC. I got around that by saying the minimum sq ft house the gated community required would be about twice as big as I want/need.

      I just spoke with him and told him TN is moving a little higher on the list and he was thrilled LOL

      The fact is, my life is going to be uprooted in 6 months’ time…do I want to uproot it to WY or TN?

      I have a sneaking suspicion that it will end up being TN.

      Will y’all come visit me?

      • Fourscore

        Pretty much my traveling days are over, too bad. I would enjoy meeting more of the people I only know from here.

        However, Sep 18th is coming and that means the Annual Glib Meet Up in on the calendar.

        As I said, follow your heart, where ever it takes you.

      • Tundra

        I think WY is better in concept than reality. The fucking wind gets old after awhile.

        My buddy moved from MN to TN at the same time I left. He absolutely loves it.

        Good luck with whichever direction you choose.

      • juris imprudent

        Our place in SW VA should be reasonably close for a visit (either direction).

      • DEG

        I’ve visited Nashville, Lynchburg, and Gatlinburg. I could get to like living near Nashville. Maybe not in Nashville, but close enough to head into town every now and then.

        I met a Free Stater at a liberty meet-up that moved to NH from TN. So, he is biased. He and I were talking. At the time Sununu’s emergency orders were still in effect. I was thinking about following a friend’s lead and moving to Florida for normality. This guy suggested Tennessee instead.

        Despite my dislike of CATO, they rank TN higher on their “Freedom in the 50 States” list than WY.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Yeah, that rubs me the wrong way reading some of their assessments – but I guess some of those matter more to me on an individual level and affect my “consideration” of freedom less. – “employed by the state”, “natural resource heavy”….etc.

      • Tundra

        I moved from 38 to 12 so I guess I’m going the right direction.

      • Penguin

        No, move to Florida – “We’re number 2! We’re number 2!”

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        WY gets poor rankings for economic freedom (big regulatory state), which is concerning. Especially vis a vis healthcare. But everything else seems OK.

        The WY vs. TN argument is purely one of weather. I’ve spent enough time in the mid-Appalachians to know it’s hotter than I like. Even in the higher elevations. Daily skiing in winter will still be out of reach, sadly.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Hey KK,

        Just a couple random thoughts….even if you move to TN or thereabouts (I know I’ve been considering this type of thing a little more re: my parents under similar circumstances)…you could still get your RV.

        Also…I know a few other friends/family who have done this – depending on your resources, etc – it might still be a viable consideration to invest in a cabin or other small piece of property in WY that you can visit at least several times a year in the short term before further retirement. With tech now and/or friendly neighbors to help keep an eye on things – it’s not as intimidating to leave a lock-up empty in the middle of nowhere for months at a time.

      • Tundra

        Or rent it out while you aren’t there. I know people who have condos at Keystone and Breckenridge who only use them sparingly.

      • LCDR_Fish

        My aunt (in NC) owns a beach house and a cabin in the adirondacks. She’s been very generous with letting friends/relatives stay at both of them over the years (my annual vacation for a few years in a row – all by myself). A lot easier with the new electronic combo locks, etc – no messing with keys, etc.

        She’s finally sold her house outside Fayettenam and is retiring to the beach house (and the mountains depending on the time of year). I think she’s regretting NY a little, but the Lake Placid area is still gorgeous with a lot of skiing, hiking, etc that she (and others) enjoy.

      • Ted S.

        Get north of about I-84, and NYS is beautiful. But NYC controls the politics, and city escapees are really fucking up places like Ulster and Columbia counties now

      • LCDR_Fish

        Yeah, I come across from PA on 84 and then straight North to rte 9. I love the overall thing area up there. But yeah, I think the tax differences kinda snuck up on her.

      • Penguin

        Get north of about I-84, and NYS is beautiful.

        “The assholes stop at New Hampton”.

      • Ted S.

        When I was young, we went camping up at Moffitt Beach up in Speculator on several occasions. Lovely area.

      • Fourscore

        I sort of did that for a while, had a house in TX, lived/worked out of MN. Every trip back to TX was 2 weeks of maintenance. After 9 years I sold the house

      • R C Dean

        “I have a sneaking suspicion that it will end up being TN.”

        I think you’ve already decided.

        My observation, having moved several times for my career (meaning, I didn’t necessarily pick the location, I picked the job): If you go into it with the right attitude, that you’ll make the best of it, I’ve never found a place that couldn’t be a damned fine place to live. The key, to me, is big city or not big city. You either like them or you don’t. If you like them, you won’t like smaller city or town life as much. And vice versa. Get the right sized town, and everything will work out just fine.

      • Fourscore

        I’m really happy for those that like a big city life. When I was working, big city, I didn’t know anyone other than those I worked with. Now I live in the woods and know and like several of my nearest neighbors. There are a few that I don’t know but I like them too.

      • PutridMeat

        My father is about 1200 miles away and in a home with almost none of his faculties. 4 years ago when he was mostly still all there, my brother and I tried to convince him to move closer to one of us likely me due to warmer weather. He was already in an adult care facility, but was in command of his faculties, so we couldn’t force the issue. He adamantly refused to move for various, in my estimation, very poor reasons.

        Given his mental and physical state right now, it is not practical to move him now. That means that he gets very minimal visits from family and it’s very difficult to check in on him. He’s in a very good place, and I trust his care givers; but I wonder sometimes whether, if I could have convinced him to move closer to me, having regular daily or at least multiple per week visits from a familiar face would have helped mitigate his rapid cognitive decline.

        Short of it – if you expect that you will need to provide increasing levels of care/interaction with your father and you nature is such that you would feel a duty or desire to do so if/when his faculties decline, move close now, or convince him to move to where ever you intend to relocate. Trying to do arrange things later can verge on the impossible.

        Best of luck.

  4. Mojeaux

    Taurus:  Knight of Cups reversed – Trickery, artifice, subtlety, swindling, duplicity, fraud.

    So, like, every week.

    • Mojeaux

      Last week’s

      Taurus: 4 of Swords – Vigilance, retreat, solitude, hermit’s repose, exile, tomb.

      was oddly prescient, depending on how you read it.

  5. Gender Traitor

    …starting on Monday we get to experience that plus our old friend MERCURY RETROGRADE

    Gaaaaah! Not this week! Not the week I have to post what’s quite possibly the trickiest payroll of the year (new pay rates AND semiannual incentives for almost everyone, plus a bunch of “special circumstances” I have to make sure are accounted for correctly!)

    Activity in undertakings, swiftness, great haste

    Yup! That’ll be me Tuesday & Wednesday, trying to make sure all this gets done after losing a work day to Monday’s holiday. ::crawls under bed, vows not to come out until February::

  6. Penguin

    Cause for anxiety regarding money, especially if lending or regarding investments.

    Well, that true, but it’s always true. Especially the first part.

    • Penguin

      Odd. They’re certainly not doing great, but they’re not candidates for demotion. I wonder what the expectations were prior to the start of the season?

      • juris imprudent

        They aren’t far out of being in a relegation fight, and if they keep up the recent form – last 12: 1 win, 9 losses and 2 draws – they’ll be scraping bottom.

      • Penguin

        Okay, but they still have a 6 point lead over the ‘best’ team to currently be relegated. If Norwich City suddenly starts winning matches, there’s room for worry.

        Agreed about their current form, however – it’d help if they didn’t suck.

        JI – not trying to be a dick about this, but can you speak to what ownership thought Benitez would do for them? I don’t follow it that closely.

      • juris imprudent

        Ownership couldn’t get the manager they wanted, so they went with Benitez (who when he was manager of Liverpool didn’t think much of the neighboring club and made no secret of it). It’s a great question to pose – what WERE they thinking? I have no idea.

      • rhywun

        I’ve often wondered what owners think they can accomplish in this situation. I suspect there is a personality clash in the locker room, but I am not familiar enough with Everton to judge that.

      • juris imprudent

        Put it another way, after matchweek 6, they were top of the table. After matchweek 12, they were 7th.

      • Penguin

        Ooh. Okay, that reframes it.

  7. Tundra

    Good God is she adorable. No swallowing bolts, though. That’s no bueno.

    Leo: 7 of Coins reversed – Cause for anxiety regarding money, especially if lending or regarding investments.

    End the Fed!

    • Not Adahn

      She wasn’t interested in swallowing it. She’s very good at appraising what I might need enough to chase after her to retrieve.

  8. Don escaped Cancun

    Scorpio: 8 of Wands – Activity in undertakings, swiftness, great haste, great hope, love.

    if only Supreme Court jurists rode trains more – JRB46

  9. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    Excellent episode of Yoel & Mari at Bass Pro Shops. I am not surprised at his reaction to the firearms. You can tell he knows the significance, but has been in a no-gun culture his whole life. It’s pretty interesting & powerful.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JT1tnDGHXg

    • Fourscore

      I took a young lady employee, actually a farm girl, but very liberal in the new sense, of the word to a Gander Mountain store in Milwaukee. She was very anti gun but after a walk through and I explained about all the people that work in the tourist type industries, from real estate to manufacturing she began to see things a little differently and maybe changed her mind, at least about the recreational part of guns.

      Cabela’s/Bass Pro is like a vacation in itself.

      • dbleagle

        What got me were his reactions to fishing and to boats. Freedom is precious.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Can you imagine – you live on an island in the Caribbean, and you’re not allowed to fish?

      • Tundra

        What’s weird is that we could.

        Fishing Cuba is on my bucket list.

      • Fourscore

        We’ll see your Hemingwayescue videos when you get back

    • Tundra

      Great video. Thank you.

    • DEG

      Thanks, I’ve passed it around.

  10. DEG

    Cause for anxiety regarding money, especially if lending or regarding investments.

    So… normal.

    • Tundra

      Die in a fire, motherfuckers.

      • Penguin

        The twatter responses were good, if a tad too polite for my taste.

    • Urthona

      Are people unaware that the vaccine isn’t even a speed bump to infection right now?

      I never agreed with their argument, but now their isn’t even internal logic behind it.

      • Drake

        Covid has derailed my project at a NY hospital where everyone is “fully vaccinated” and I’ve seen several people get the booster and immediately get sick.

        At this point “the vaccine is the pandemic” may not be an exaggeration.

      • Urthona

        It would be interesting to see if there were any evidence of that. That would be hilarious.

      • DEG

        Are people unaware that the vaccine isn’t even a speed bump to infection right now?

        Yes. See my post last night about my relative’s comments on being safer on a cruise than on land because everyone on the cruise was vaccinated and tested.

      • Urthona

        *facepalm*

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        …But, it’s a vaccine! It’s got what plants crave!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        From the comments:

        “Look into the background of the Salt lake Tribune. They are owned by the Huntsman Family; one of which is a former Governor of Utah, and current ambassador to China. The chief financial officer of the Salt Lake Tribune is one Benjamin Wu’ an Equity Investor who is heavily invested with the Chinese Government. Should any of this surprise anyone?”

  11. Not Adahn

    I don’t know what kinds of psychological development goes on as a pup gets near a year old, but Lily is experimenting with ways of being cute deliberately. It’s weapons-grade.

    I know that dogs have seasonal coat changes, but do they grow fur in response to actual temperatures? She’s got belly fur like I’ve never seen before.

    • Tundra

      Oh yeah, especially those with double coats. Just wait until the weather warms back up – when they blow coat it’s something to behold.

      • Tulip

        Yep, buy a shop vac. You’re gonna need it.

      • Not Adahn

        My right shoulder gets brushed against as she moves between the front and back seats. Yesterday at the store, someone asked me “do you have a cat?”

      • dbleagle

        Our Labrador died a decade before I sold the truck. Despite a thorough cleaning before the sale the buyer commented on the dog hair still caught on the floor and seats.

      • juris imprudent

        My mom commented years after our dalmatian passed that she was still vacuuming up white hairs. Dalmatians also have the trick of shedding white hair onto dark surfaces and black hair onto the lighter ones.

      • UnCivilServant

        They shed both colors of hair on both types of surfaces, you just see the one that contrasts more.

      • juris imprudent

        That’s just your opinion man.

      • Not Adahn

        Dogs are smart.

      • Not Adahn

        The amount of times I have to empty the vacuum is kind of absurd, especially in the non-frozen-over months.

  12. PieInTheSky

    Gordon Ramsay makes a Cauliflower Steak

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cVg0hYi5io

    I likes Gordon Ramsay as a chef and he had do go do something disgusting. This should be reason to be cancelled

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Might be a cauli but it ain’t no steak.

  13. Yusef drives a Kia

    “Virgo: The Sun – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment.”
    Unpossible,

  14. Not Adahn

    Yesterday, my beard was more iced over than it’s ever been before. I guess it was just a new time*cold maximum. But it was annoying. Usually you just comb the ice out, but this time I had to crush it and pick out the pieces.

    • UnCivilServant

      Sorry about yesterday but I really do appear to have a dearth of suitable socks for those temperatures.

      • PieInTheSky

        ehm lol

      • UnCivilServant

        You should have been there, Pie.

        We could have taught you how to shoot.

      • PieInTheSky

        I don’t play billiards really

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s fine, we’ll teach you to shoot guns.

      • Fourscore

        And I’ll take you fishing, though I don’t live on an island

      • Not Adahn

        Wool socks are the shiznit. Supposedly a propane heater will be placed under the shelter in the future. It was supposed to be there yesterday, but the trailer they store it in was frozen shut.

        Of course, that doesn’t really benefit you if you’re out scorekeeping.

  15. Not Adahn

    Lily chased either a small fox or a very large cat out of the yard this morning.

    • PieInTheSky

      how is she with pigeons?

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s very dangerous to chase pidgeons, you risk getting hit by birdshot.

      • Not Adahn

        I haven’t seen her go after them. Turkeys on the other hand…

      • hayeksplosives

        Excellent obscure reference, Pie. Bravo.

        “I know things about pigeons, Lily.”

      • juris imprudent

        We now know Pie is a big time Clint Eastwood fan.

      • PieInTheSky

        ehm yes I totally meant that

  16. hayeksplosives

    Well, phooey. I have a sore throat. I was hoping maybe it was just dry, but nope, it’s definitely a cold/Covid/flu/certain death.

    Gonna suck on some Zicam and go to bed.I’m supposed to be traveling next week.

    • Q Continuum

      Been nice knowin’ ya.

      • hayeksplosives

        Certainly was a good run. ?

      • R C Dean

        Can I have your place in Pahrump?

      • dbleagle

        Let us know about the details for your memorial service.

    • DEG

      Get well soon!

  17. Q Continuum

    “competition — especially socially”

    MMF threesome gone bad?

  18. Lazer

    Hey Mojeaux,
    I sent you a message from the forum messenger.

    • Mojeaux

      Got it. Will answer via email when I get back to my office. ?

      • Lazer

        ? thanks

      • Mojeaux

        You haz mail.

  19. hayeksplosives

    I’m amused by the way the press coverage of the synagogue hostage taking is dancing around the motive.

    They also keep calling the terrorist a “British man”, some of them not even giving his name, so you’d think he was Nigel Corbyn or some such.

    Malik Faisal Akram, Esq.

    • Not Adahn

      We let a LAWYER into the country? Fuck Joe Biden. Build the Wall.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Landowner? Gentleman (cough, cough)?

  20. Tundra

    Looks like Philly is ready for vacation.

    • Penguin

      The Beagles? Don’t blame them, Fauci had a bunch of flies biting their faces.

    • R C Dean

      Philly is the team I will root for anyone to beat. Even the Tampa Brady Buccaneers.

      On account of Michael Vick. Phuck the Iggles.

      • creech

        Vick redeemed himself. Brady hasn’t. Anyway, time for Eagles fans to don the paper bags. Poor play calling, refs calling bogus penalties,
        quarterback with first playoff game jitters, receivers who can’t run routes, you name it.

      • R C Dean

        “Vick redeemed himself.”

        For torturing and killing dogs? Not in my book.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Yeah, some things you just can’t come back from.

  21. Brochettaward

    Lately, I have been feeling down. I felt like I haven’t been performing as The First Of All Firsters. That I was letting everyone down. But last night, I had an epiphany.

    My Firsts, every single one, are a gift from The Great Firster. Like The First That Will Change Everything which gestates within me. I am here to help, but I also need help. It is not me that is failing. It is you, all of you, who are failing ME. I need you all to do better. I implore you to do better.

    • juris imprudent

      I just took a nice shit, shame you weren’t here to wipe my ass first.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: 6 of Swords – Journey by water, an easy task, bringing problems with you.

    Journey by water? Nope.

    Bringing problems with me? Piece of cake.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Deserve’s got nothing to do with it, Shirley

    There’s the notion that “‘If you’re vulnerable, then you need to stay home.’ Well, we are doing that. But how much longer can we?” Chong asked. “My son deserves to live a life outside of his home.”

    Young children — those younger than 5 — are being newly hospitalized with COVID-19 at higher rates than at any point before in the pandemic, according to federal data. Health officials say the rising numbers among children are the result of the rapid spread of the Omicron variant, which is much more easily transmitted than earlier variants of the coronavirus.

    The latest surge has been especially alarming for many families with children who are medically fragile and younger than 5 — the age group still not eligible for COVID shots. Federal authorization for a vaccine for the youngest kids is still expected to be months away.

    “We don’t have a vaccine. We have very few treatments available for this age group. And we’re not telling people to be judicious and careful around young children,” said Dr. Jorge A. Caballero, an anesthesiologist and co-founder of the volunteer organization Coders Against COVID.

    Your kid deserves to have the power to make everyone in the worlds subservient to him?

    Fuck off.

    “we’re not telling people to be judicious and careful around young children” Omits “medically fragile” qualifier.

    STFU you lying sack of shit.

    • R C Dean

      People who can hardly wait to inject their toddlers with experimental treatments make me rethink my attitude toward CPS. Some people just can’t be trusted with small children.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Somebody didn’t get the memo

    Florida now has more than five million COVID-19 cases as the state reported 49,339 cases and six new deaths Friday, according to Saturday’s report to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, based on Miami Herald calculations of CDC data. In the past seven days, the state has added 66 deaths and 58,406 cases per day on average, according to Herald calculations of CDC data. It took a little over two weeks for Florida to go from a case toll of four million to more than five million. The state had surpassed four million cases on Dec. 29. This is the quickest the state has seen an increase this large. It took about four months for Florida to go from three million cases, in mid-August, to four million, and about five months to go from two million cases, in March, to three million.

    Millions and millions of cases. Skyrocketing. We’re all gonna die!

    • dbleagle

      The Census Bureau reports that FL has ~25.5M residents. This figure does not include AOC and various other KungFlu vacationers. So, it sounds like they are well on their way towards herd immunity. Good for them.

      Since it doesn’t mention carts to haul off the dead, the sky full of ravens and vultures- or even overflowing hospitals where the living envy the dead- I assume that their Omicron is acting like the rest of the world.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Well, they have been fed two years of non-stop propaganda such as the above.

    It’s hard to dial back the panic when outfits like the Miami herald won’t read from the revised script.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Based on a little blurb I happened to see on the teevee, that hostage thing in Texas was tailor made for the FBI to burnish its reputation. Weird, right?

    • UnCivilServant

      I just figure they were behind it.