I wake up, what just happened? That wasn’t a nap, owie my back!
Where is the den? All I see is sky and a bunch of stuff all around me, everything smells like the fires, so many scents, i don’t understand.
Where’s Mom and Dad? I smell them, let’s see, oh No, Oh Dog No!
I lick and lick but they don’t wake up! What do I do, as I howl at the top of my lungs.
Then I heard her, my buddy Gerty? I could smell her but could not see her, so I dug and dug and then there she was, she had owies, and we cleaned each other.
It was nearing daylight when she asked me what happened, I cocked my head, and she understood, we were both lost. Gerty wasn’t just a friend and huntress, she knew that from now on we were the Alphas, even though we were only two, so I decided we stay put for now.
We awoke to the smell of fire, but not Mom fire, this smelled like bad bacon, so we went potty and took off towards the sun, I had nowhere to run so I just ran until I saw some trees that weren’t all black,( how did that happen?) so we took a rest and a smell. Gerty smelled clear air to the west, but I noticed something different, where were all the humans? We had run for a few hours and seen no one, where did they all go?
After some scrounging in the big giant food den, we headed west, side by side instead of single file, we met a few loose feral packs but our skills made them think twice and we moved on without incident, into the big tree place. We stuck close to the road, we heard what was deep in the trees, and weren’t in shape to fight whatever that was. We came to a human place that was normal, but again, no humans. There was no blackness on the trees or the dens, the chickens ran around, and the few cats just screeched to the wind, we were used to that from the before time. Gerty found us a local food den and we got some slightly smelly venison from the cold thing, and feasted in peace for the night. Tomorrow would be cold, but we had each other, headed west.
I remember in the before time Mom and Dad would take us this way to the warmlands, we would play with our humans in the water, so much fun! and so we traveled south, and towards the good air Gerty pointed us to. The days went on, scrounging was easy, but I knew it would run out, I needed a place for us to den for the cold time, it was coming, you could feel it, that’s when Gerty told me.” Otis, I have a litter, I need a den,”
Cold as ice I felt, as we moved south toward Holland and I managed to find a cleared out cold box. I noticed it keeps you warm now, I don’t know why. Gerty and I gathered a bunch of human warm things and made a fine nest for us and our new pups, then we hunted the small things that you can eat later. We settled in for a long cold time, and pups on the way, we will make it to the warm times again.
Early spring,
“Otis, we can’t stay here any longer, tres is getting fat and rufus wants us to work, where do we go?”
Holland, did you see the signs? “When I was a pup Dad pointed to the signs, and I never forgot, we go that way,” as my nose pointed south. I remembered a human this way that Dad took me to see, he was a good human, so we go see him. By the time we leave the pups can fight, but we avoid the main roads anyway, uncontrollable little shits.
We were a days walk from safety when it happened, not feral dogs or cats, but feral humans, trying to eat us alive! They managed to get two of my pups, then the other five made quick work of one of them and they ran off. We moved on, Gerty was tired but a stoic beast, I love her.
Then came what I hoped for, the place I remembered as a pup, I called the pups and we ran to the gate, tails wagging, ready to be safe, the guards were not impressed, then came the Man! He was older now, but I knew him from the other time and he led us all to our new home, we found our place, safe and with good jobs.
And that is why, 20 years later, We are the Palace Guard of King Gunslinger the Firstest
lol huzzah
That’s exactly my reaction!
What happened to Rufus? I can’t remember if the last time he was here.
He showed up a week or two ago, understandably surly.
It’s because we weren’t working, isn’t it?
He was around a few days ago and said hello, I think he’s still dealing with the Canuckistani Gov.
Thanks.
“King Gunslinger the Firstest”
Has a nice ring to it I must say.
He will get it,
He already did.
Ha! Well played Sir,
tres is getting fat and rufus wants us to work
Nicely done!
Mojeaux, before I head out: I saw your note on the deadthread about Trashy. I have an e-mail address for him. I sent him a note.
What’s up with Trashy?
Danke. He is missed.
He is.
Good story, Yusef. Tres getting fat or graduating to another level of maturation?
Rufus doesn’t want me to work, I’m quite sure, not if his goal is to accomplish something.
Tres always outdrank his brothers and sisters so…
Good job whoever brought up ass eating and summoned HM.
https://archive.md/atgmX
Tits in the wild!
NSFW.
For the nerds…
https://mobile.twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1478125263233990657
Musk tweeted out that the Raptor is now performing reliably at 300 bar.
This is the highest chamber pressure ever for a production engine….by far.
By comparison, the Merlins on the F9 are at around 100.
Thanks!
/Fanboi
Wakey wakey, Baker.
I’m in that state where if I get up and move around I’m really sleepy, but the moment I lay down, I’m suddenly wide awake. So I get up and I’m sleepy again.
Welcome to my world. Sit around and nod off in the early evening, forcing myself to stay awake.
Hit the pillow at the designated bed time and lay there wide awake staring at the ceiling. For hours.
I hate insomnia. But it is my burden to bear.
My record for sleepless nights is almost four. Fell asleep about 5am on Night #4.
Walmart is out of iceberg lettuce. Let’s Go Brandon!
I wouldn’t’ feed that crap to a rabbit.
Two words::
Wedge. Salad.
Yes. Yes.
Sure, they may be delicious, but you help make my point; If you have to add that much stuff to it, it probably isn’t very tasty lettuce. Iceberg is merely a delivery vehicle for the dressing of your choice.
/former iceberg + ranch junkie
Counterpoint: no other lettuce works as well. The texture is important, even if the taste is neutral.
I get it. Especially the chunking off a wedge part. It wouldn’t really work with any other lettuce for a few reasons. But it doesn’t mean iceberg lettuce is good lettuce.
*chucking off a wedge*
?
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
Haha. Touche.
Ham, bacon, cheese, egg—perfect low-carb lunch with crunch.
Yeah, I get it. I’ve just started going to lettuces that actually have some nutritionally value. Romaine is a good one to start with. Has some -not as much- crunch, but adds a touch of flavor and a bit more nutrition. The “gateway” green.
*takes notes*
I’ve never tried it.
What do you eat Mr. NoDak sophisticate?
Romaine is usually the easiest to get ahold of in the winter. Any leaf lettuce when available. A touch of spinach occasionally. ?
For salad that’s fine. I want something between my bun and my burger.
Have you tried romaine?
Yes. It’s okay. I eat plenty of other vegetables so I don’t worry much about the Lettuce in my salad.
Iceberg is the greatuce of lecctuce.
Butter lettuce, dammit.
That’s when all of a grocer’s produce is great, except…?
Fun story, Yusef. Woof!
Nuclear war, family is dead, and you are a dog, think about it….
Yeah. Very interesting plot. Well done.
Also, “fun” was not the proper word.
Yeah, kinda rough. Ah well, I used to read books and watch movies with these themes a lot.
Me too. A number of Twilight Zone episodes -and similar shows- have this theme. Makes for some great stories.
Dystopia is my favorite literary theme. Can’t get enough of it.
While I enjoy it, I’ve never gotten into it too much (the awesome Twilight Zone episodes notwithstanding). I lean more toward mystery/crime and westerns. Louis L’Amour being my absolute favorite.
The future, dystopian or something else, my favorite stories
Zane Grey
In response to MikeS.
Zane Grey is no slouch. And he did it first…or at least before Louis. But I contend that L’Amour mastered the genre. (and he wrote some damn good non-western stories)
Gilmore
I don’t think I could gil any more than I’m already gilling.
Trashy update: He’s taking a media break but everything is fine at home, he says hello!
I know the feeling. Thanks for checking, Bob.
Yeah, I’ve come very close but not needed it yet.
Guess I’m a snark junkie.
This is your brain. ?
This is your brain on Snark. ?
Glad to hear it.
Danke.
I’m digging the new avatar.
Ouchie. Sack-o-rama. Sorry Neph & Hyperbole
I’m more annoyed at “Ben!”.
Ugh.
Just got back from fine dining. It is one of Bobby Flays places. I had grilled octopus and branzino. Damn it was all good. Wife treat for my promotion back in August.
We’re on the road (Rapid City tonite) and like to eat well when doing so.
Tonite it was The Dakotah Steakhouse . I had the buffalo tenderloin, Mrs. Hobbit enjoyed the elk ravioli. Comment on the latter, it was served with white sauce and she likes red sauce with ravioli.
Tomorrow is one of our favorites.
That sounds awesome.
Love grilled octopus. I’m going to have to try it at home at some point.
Hey! Who wants to watch a Chinese film, made in 2021, that is one big propaganda piece about the heroic, fearless, selfless People’s Volunteer Army defending their neighbors from the evil, white devils who want to enslave them (and win MacArthur the Presidency)? Holy Mackerel, it’s weird to see a battle romanticized from the enemy’s side. The Battle at Lake Changjin
Sorry, I’m having my right foot cut off instead.
I’m wondering about the couple round-eyes they found to appear in that. I mean, it’s not like there are a lot of native-born ones to choose from, like you would see in our reverse stories.
Glancing at their IMDB pages, they seem to have a dozen or so credits; all Chinese and Russian movies.
Wow.
Good Christ. Some of the reviews. Wow. Useful idiots, indeed.
The boys at Adv China had some things to say about that movie the other day.
Ooh… thanks. I’ll look that up. I’ve enjoyed their journey.
Trying to find that, I found a video about being called racist for expressing views about the Chinese government.
Number one comment on the video: ” I don’t fear being called racist. I fear being rounded up for being called racist.”
Hey, cyto! Might be just you and me tonight.
I just want to think happy thoughts for a while despite reality.
Child two and child three crawled into my bed, demanding comfort and attention…. So my happy thoughts were “please don’t kick me anywhere soft….”.
Sleep was… Evasive… For dad last night.
It was one of the biggest movies in the world…. Didn’t make a house payment here. Number one globally until Spiderman came out. Still did almost a billion without US money.
So I was bored and started it over the holiday while travelling. I mean, China is making movies that compete with Hollywood on a global total now, who knew??
Didn’t make it through.
It is indeed a jingoistic hero war pic. I was willing to look past that … The effects are pretty good. Cinematography…???…. Ok…. Starting to fall apart. They do the old Hollywood trick “this is nighttime…. So just lower the exposure a bit.”. Night scenes clearly shot at 1 pm based on shadows.
And dumb. Really dumb.
I may go back to it. But it was a slog.
I think 3 of the top 10 movies of the year were Chinese. Number 3 was Hi Mom. 800 million, not even released here. so two of the top 3 movies.
But back to the battle of the lake thing…. Looked like a bad WWII era B budget war hero movie. the story seemed about as significant as the 90s Hollywood war movies.. Like heartbreak ridge.. About invading Greneda.
So… expect Hollywood to keep churning out endless Marvel crap until further notice.
Happy Perihelion Day!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atUuy4_m4NE
Some music for it.
Great artist/song. Thanks.
Also, hot girl.
It’s like rain on my wedding day.
BH, I don’t care to go into why right now, but that link really meant a lot to me. Like in a serendipitous type way. Thank you very much.
Also, I hope you enjoyed your stay in Lesser Dakota. ?
Here is a HUGE amount of toxic masculinity from 1929-1930.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLzBDhilDL0
I can’t even comprehend it.
Saw that the other night and thought “A great TM post” and tonight I was thinking “What was that thing I going to post for TM?”
Now I remember.
It is is pretty amazing. Never mind that the guy is taking those pictures with a clunky camera in impossible places.
I once almost went to the CGA just to sail on the Eagle. I realized that wasn’t so smart and dropped the idea.
Jeepers, that was amazing, and made me feel wholly inadequate and unaccomplished.
I just finished listening to Joe Rogan and Dr. Malone.
I need to cuddle some kittens.
Not puppies?
More loose ends tied up
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/us-judge-dismisses-case-against-jeffrey-epsteins-jail-guards-2022-01-04/
Ugh. They don’t even have to come up with plausible alibis anymore.
“No reasonable prosecutor…” said Comey in 2016 regarding Hilary. By which he meant “No prosecutor who wants to live to see his grandchildren “ would bring a case against Herself.
Yet how many people even know that the chief prosecutor against Gizzlane Maxwell is Comey’s daughter?
I swear Hollywood 20 years ago would have tossed this script as too outrageous.
GD insomnia!
Don’t forget the stress, self. A chief risk factor for heart attack. Thanks for the reminder, radio PSA!
Red and blue Tuinals, lipstick- red Seconals…
Headache-inducing, or so I hear.
A bit late, but a song for the new year.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kI2lTwY0Jx8
Years May Come, Years May Go.
Morning, Glibs.
Not used to having to wake up in time for a commute anymore. But so far I’m managing.
When I get a self-driving car I’m just going to sleep in it, then I’ll wake up at work!
Wouldn’t work complain about you living out of a car in their parking lot?
They haven’t yet.
Good morning y’all.
Morning, Sean.
Still got 50 minutes until the cheapass hotel breakfast is served.
Have to get on the road around 7 since I don’t yet know the route to the school and have to bake in time to correct errors.
Won’t be back here until late enough that the sun will have set again.
https://www.nj.com/news/2022/01/woman-81-says-she-was-hurt-in-bear-attack-outside-nj-home.html
She probably gave the bear covid. Put her in jail.
She’s already in Nw Jersey, that counts.
‘hurt’ is a terrible word to be used in any news story. One of my peeves. It’s on par with saying they got ‘an owie’
I don’t understand why you regard it as such.
Something hurts, one gets injured.
And they call my linguistic usage archaic.
It’s just a clarity of language thing, and only in regards to news; which should be written in a very particular way to clearly construe context. I didn’t go to J-school, but in media courses you still get taught how to write news.
My pet peeve about radio & TV news, especially local news, is the compulsion to put everything in present tense. “A man is injured last night…”
Of course, I avoid TV news religiously, and the only information I care about on the radio news is the traffic report. Maybe they’ve knocked off doing that so much.
“A 22-year-old Rutgers University student was killed by a bear while hiking in West Milford in 2014, a death experts called a “one in a million” incident. That was the first documented fatality from a bear in New Jersey history, according to wildlife officials.”
Really?
Well, setting up the New Jersy Bear Attack Fatality Database took longer than expected because of perfidious Republicans refusing to fund it properly
Ticket status: loser.
?
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2022/01/healthy-57-year-old-nashville-doctor-dies-shortly-receiving-pfizer-vaccine-media-blames-death-covid-19/
Nothing to see there. Move along.
I heard Betty White got a booster 3 days before she died.
Her friends or family are denying it.
American speaks Latin at the Vatican with Priests ?? — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDhEzP0b-Wo
They’re speaking it waay too slow.
Judging by the cadence of Italian, Spanish, and French, native latin speakers would have been spewing out words in a rapid-fire manner.
There are still priests that conduct mass in Latin, so of course some still speak it.
I thought the current pope was actively and passively discouraging Latin mass; IDKY (does spite suffice as an explanation?). Shame; would be neat to attend (as a Prod).
Well, Commie Antipope Frank is also waging war on whatever remnants of christianity there are in the church, so I can’t figure out why he became a priest.
He probably is, but it is still going on.
https://www.theblaze.com/op-ed/horowitz-6-important-covid-data-points-that-destroy-the-prevailing-narrative
I heard on the radio news the other morning that the CDC is already changing its 5 day quarantine rule change. #SIENZe!
Good morning….all! Hope I haven’t missed all of you in my slowness to get moving today.
Work HAS to go better than yesterday did…doesn’t it?
You could always get yourself a Cameo from The Million Dollar Man to make yourself feel better.
Was hoping for a pretty necklace depicting Lee Majors, but remembered I was WAY off in my recollection of his price tag.
$350, same as down town?
Or if you want to feel worse, you could get a Cameo from a Browns player.
Looking at the Packers on offer I see Tony Mandarich…maybe he can instruct me on how to use steroids.
Started looking through the musicians available and came across Don Johnson listed under “Singer/Songwriter.” Algorithm a little glitchy?
Right on the money, I’d say.
Well I already finished breakfast and am back to my room to get everything I need to head out.
So yu almost missed me today.
Can’t wait to hear how your first day of class goes! Are you taking your good camera in case the instructors are OK with you doing some “documentation”?
I left my camera on the couch at my house.
I’ll have to find my 2lb jeweler’s anvil and do some dramatic recreations.
Some dyslexia kicked in and I wondered why you felt your camera.
Later, people. I’ve got to hit the road.
Be careful out there, and have fun at school!
Looking forward to hearing a bout the experience.
Looking forward to hearing a bout the experience.
Damm squirrels.
Anybody see any pushback on the +40% death rate for 18-40 Y.O.’s?
Didn’t see the original claim, but I’m in a bit of a “news avoidance” mode at the moment, especially when it comes to COVID.
I wonder what the rules are for using cameo for cartoon audio? I could come up with a great cartoon with Dana Snyder as a Hat. Almost paternal.
Hardcore.
White supremacist terrorist attack!
Did it hurt when you pulled that out of your ass?
In recent weeks, the U.S. has seen the omicron variant starting to edge out the previously dominant delta strain of the virus.
The latest available weekly data from the U.S. CDC, ending on Dec.25, estimates that the delta variant accounted for around 41% of cases while omicron made up around 58.6% of U.S. infections.
I’m sure they can back that up with their models.
Mornin’ all. Things are back to something like normal at Casa Patzer, I am no longer banished to the isolation ward. Work still sucks, although I did get an extra paycheck this week for reasons unknown. Not complaining.