About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

115 Comments

  1. Swiss Servator

    “Smoke something classy, like meth!”

    HA!

  2. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Be attractive, don’t be unattractive.

    • Chafed

      Wasn’t enough to get the conference championship this year.

      • Gustave Lytton

        If you can’t be handy, be handsome.

  3. juris imprudent

    Wife’s surgeon called her today… “clear margins”.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I had to google that.

      That’s great news! I’m happy for you and your wife.

    • DEG

      This sounds good.

      • juris imprudent

        Yep, still waiting on full pathology. Probably have a course of radiation (to be sure).

    • Count Potato

      Good to hear!

    • Mojeaux

      w00h00!!!!! *Snoopydance*

    • Translucent Chum

      Cheers!!!

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      Congratulations.

  4. DEG

    Sounds like some conversations I’ve had with Covid Cultists.

  5. Gustave Lytton

    I hear “Erin Rogers”

    Also, back from eye doc follow up. Despite a couple of flags during the last exam, the field of vision test is not showing glaucoma but I get to do it yearly for at least the next five years. Or I happened to randomly hit the button at the right moments and I’m really going blind.

    • Count Potato

      Also, good to hear. But you can also cut off your ear and take up painting, if it doesn’t work out.

    • DEG

      No glaucoma is good.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Weed helps a bit, seriously

    • Lackadaisical

      “I hear “Erin Rogers””

      There is a difference?

    • pistoffnick

      Maybe stop masturbating so much! It makes you go blind. Maybe cut down to 4-5 times a day.

      My eyes actually got better according to my last exam. I’m operating at my 2015 prescription despite masturbating 3-4 times a day!

  6. The Hyperbole

    I like how the hat is sitting on a Wordle, good job keeping it current CPRM.⬛⬛?⬛⬛

    • rhywun

      No. Just, no.

    • Ted S.

      Lingo was already a game show in the 1980s.

  7. Count Potato

    *applause*

  8. Tundra

    I think he’s right about Rodgers.

  9. Trigger Hippie

    The only time I watch the NFL network is when I’m touching myself to Kay Adams.

  10. Translucent Chum

    Better cooking assets. Giada or Nigella. Discuss.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s tough. One’s got a great rack and the other apparently has plenty of coke.

    • Count Potato

      Sorry, don’t know who they are.

    • Lackadaisical

      Giada, cause shes a sloppy drunk, just like most glibs.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Pyrex?

      Wait, what exactly are we cooking again?

    • DEG

      Threesome.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        I like the way you think.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Only? Add Pati Jinich & Rika Yukimasa please.

      • Lackadaisical

        Pati is my dream girl.

        My god.

        No really, shes a true family woman- at least that is how it seems.

      • Lackadaisical

        Plus her accent is so cute. And shes a hottie, but really, truly, the love she seems to have for her family takes her from an A to A++.

        We also share interests like travel. I may have a slight crush. I don’t have a celebrity list, but if I did it would just have one name on it.

    • pistoffnick

      Nigella REALLY does it for me.

  11. Yusef drives a Kia

    Aaron Rodgers owning the libs, Thanks CPRM! I needed cheering up,
    GB!

  12. Lackadaisical

    What is a good laptop? I do some gaming and whatnot, but mostly I just don’t want it to take forever to boot up like my 10-year older is starting to do. Really cutting into the time I have for shitposting.

    • LCDR_Fish

      You’re lucky yours is still running that long. Mine average about 4 years before dying (putting this one right on schedule). My current is a Lenovo (fine), previous was a Toshiba (also fine), Gateway and IBM. Of course…historically I’ve included a DVD writer and full size keyboard in mine (and 15″ screens) which cuts down on options.

      After research last fall before I bought a tablet, it looks like external burners are extremely affordable and more than worth losing the internal access in exchange for weight/cost reductions.

      • Lackadaisical

        Current one is an HP, I keep getting it to limp along. Replaced the battery, but now it has stopped charging again and it basically works as a laptop (I can unplug for about 10 seconds). Boot times have started to get too long and most new games take a long time to load, so I think I just need to move on. My cheapness is costing me my life time, which I can’t replace.

      • LCDR_Fish

        I haven’t tried gaming seriously on any of my laptops since my IBM Thinkpad from ’04-08 playing WoW. They differentiate for gaming purposes a lot more these days IMO – although these ones work fine for old games via Gog.com. I do everything else on my phone or xbox so it’s not really a consideration for me.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Pricey, but Alienware is solid.

    • Tundra

      I just got my second MacBook Air. The one I replaced was from 2014.

      I don’t game, but these are nice.

    • rhywun

      I don’t like laptops but if it has to be Windows I can recommend Asus.

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      I have a DELL. Meh, probably wouldn’t again.

      But I go through laptops like nobody’s business. Two years is pretty average for me.

    • Chafed

      Just about anything with a solid state drive will boot up quickly.

      • Lackadaisical

        Thanks Chafed. I was leaning towards an SSD, but that helps seal the deal.

    • Lackadaisical

      Man, there are so few 17″ options… Found pretty much what I want but not the right size.

      • rhywun

        Weird, I wonder why. My last couple were 17″ and there were plenty to choose from but that was ages ago. Tablet craze?

    • Not Adahn

      I bought an ASUS gaming laptop in 2012. I’m still using it. Exclusively since my desktop died.

  13. Fourscore

    Thanks CPRM. I didn’t watch a minute of football again this year but your H&H gave me all the info I needed to know.

    Good to hear the news on the missus, JI.

    GL, my glasses keep getting thicker and thicker but I still enjoy looking at the ladies and it’s good eye exercise, too.

    I’m not nearly so critical anymore so that helps.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Yeah, only football I watched all season (other than fox sports shows that people have on in the office at work) was that half a game at Gourmeltz on Sunday night ;p

    • Gustave Lytton

      Mine are too, and they’re already coke bottles. Or would be except for the miracle of trivex. Readers were added this time.

  14. kinnath

    Hectic day. Three hour round trip to buy a new-to-me 2017 Nissan Titan SV.

    All I need now is a rifle rack in the back window.

    • Tundra

      Nice. In IA?

      • kinnath

        yes.

        Pristine condition, only 42K miles.

      • kinnath

        And a minimum of electronic horseshit in the vehicle.

      • Tundra

        Nice! Congrats.

        My neighbor stumbled upon a 2006 Tundra with only 30K miles. Perfect,

        Lucky fucker!

      • Mojeaux

        We’re starting to get texts, emails, and mail from various Hyundai dealerships begging to buy our cars.

      • Lackadaisical

        Same here. I’m going to drive mine into the ground. Might consider getting a car before then, if it means I can get one without the automated shutoff that was just mandated. Not sure when that goes into effect, but that ought to be one of the single most important issues in politics right now- if it wasn’t for coronatarianism.

        Not sure how anyone could think that is a safe idea.

  15. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Tuning out to what has to be the 18th remaster of Dark Side of the Moon.

    It really is amazing how much detail and contrasting silence there is in the new masters.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Downside, my tinnitus effs up the quiet parts.

      • Lackadaisical

        Sorry to hear, you gushing about it makes me want to try the album again though. 🙂

  16. pistoffnick

    From the afternoon thread:

    Enough About Palin on January 28, 2022 at 3:31 pm
    A fascinating documentary from the perspective of women:

    Venus: Let’s Talk About Sex

    https://www.docplus.com/details/venus-lets-talk-about-sex/pqOAoaNV/

    I can’t say I understand women’s sexuality any better, but it was interesting to watch.

    Obviously NSFW.

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      I am about a third of the way through it, and yes, fascinating and worth the time.

    • pistoffnick

      I can’t say I understand women’s sexuality any better…

      Except that there are some German women who think about sex as often per day as I do.

      Is there a German mail order bride service that I can subscribe too?

      • Brochettaward

        They’re German so they want to shit on your chest and pee in your mouth.

        If you’re down for that, go for it.

      • pistoffnick

        Don’t kink shame me!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I once met a spider monkey from Belarus named Yulia, Wow

  17. Brochettaward

    Aaron Rodgers attack on woke leftist America this year was all in furtherance of his sad attempt to convince everyone he’s not a homo. But we all know he is. And he’s a bottom, too.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      You would know,
      NTTAWWT

    • Chafed

      You seem really fixated on who is and isn’t gay. Just saying.

    • Lackadaisical

      Aaron Rodgers attack on woke leftist America this year was all in furtherance of his sad attempt to convince everyone he’s not a homo. But we all know he is. And he’s a bottom, too.

      Eh, if he’s anti-leftist and pro-freedom I’ll take it at this point. No matter how gay you, I mean, he is.

      • Ted S.

        My understanding is that he’s not particularly anti-leftist, or at least wasn’t in the past. As with Reagan, it seems to be a case of the left leaving him.

    • Chafed

      The Hair Strikes Back!

    • Plinker762

      I thought it was going to prove there was no voter fraud.

    • Not Adahn

      It’s only governmental overreach if an R is in office.

    • Lackadaisical

      It starts with mass non-compliance.

      If the agency is doing what it wants, you should too.

      I left New York because it was getting too crazy, but while there I was starting to not mask. Each person standing up will help give others courage to do the same. Obviously this gets a lot harder when it comes to schooling and your children- that is what ultimately made me leave.

      • Fourscore

        Morning Lack and any lurkers

        When you think it can’t get any worse it does. Makes cheering up kind of fruitless.

        A cup of coffee makes an old guy happy but then the coffee gets cold too

      • Don escaped Texas

        good morning and warmest regards from Memphis

        this is the Glib struggle: we’re yearning to be free, everyone else is struggling for restrictions to achieve hoped for graft, authority, peace, and safety, and there is almost situation where freedom grows………….how to keep from going insane from the constant stress of the oppression and the likely prospect for further oppression?

        What is encouraging is that one the one hand that deplorable/conservative legislatures have become comfortable with constitutional carry, but I continue to warn that this derives from a perversion of 2A, which is meant to protect the States from the Union, not give individuals the right to bear military arms. I bring this dour opinion because I believe you do have a 9A right to own, bear, and carry military arms…..and do anything else.

        What I’m saying is that the growth in freedom based on the 2A blinds your legislators and your neighbors from understanding that they have zero right to impose upon you and restrict you in any of your 9A pursuits. 9A very clearly says: you can do anything you want with your own person and property….drive 600MPH, snort drain cleaner, marry a garden hose.

        We will not have more freedom in any regard other than guns until 9A is resurrected.

      • Fourscore

        I’m reading a biography of Light Horse Harry Lee, what a difference 250 years make. The collapse in the cities will be further exacerbated by the truckers and as the supply chain continues to break down. Watching Canada is an experiment in real life.

      • Don escaped Texas

        truckers?

        that’s the one talent market that doesn’t bother me….in no small part because I’m so close to the industry

        they can drag, they can strike, but the capital and the labor are perfectly portable with almost zero barrier to entry, so they have no leverage:

        a slacker in Alberta will quickly be replaced by two hungry Cambodian brothers from Wisconsin

        the problems caused by that talent just won’t last: the labor market is too efficient

      • Ted S.

        Can they disrupt things long enough for PM Zoolander to rescind the vax mandates?

      • Fourscore

        The truckers are a part of the distribution equation. Infrastructure, warehousing and last mile distribution. We have seen that liquor stores are essential and are among the first to get looted.

      • Ted S.

        Listening to ÖRF (Austria), and they actually had a report on the Canadian truckers’ convoy that’s surprisingly less biased than most of the coronapanic stories they run.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, 4(20), Don, & Lack!

        When you think it can’t get any worse it does. Makes cheering up kind of fruitless.

        You OK, friend? ?

      • Fourscore

        Oh yeah, I’m doing well, but watching the news and the big picture is not reassuring.

      • Fourscore

        And a hearty good morning to you, GT! Good to see you today and every day!

  18. Tres Cool

    Suh’ fam
    Yo what’s goody

    • Not Adahn

      Breakfast! Though unfortunately the diner is shrinkflating. They’re using smaller plates

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, homey & NA!

      Purty nippy out there again this morning. I’m not gonna go anywhere today if I can help it!

      • Tres Cool

        Yeah…truck said a balmy 3 degress

    • rhywun

      Ugh, no sleep. I think there is one of these vent thingies on my roof near my bedroom windows and it has some spinning piece inside which was making an unholy racket during the snowstorm.

      • Fourscore

        Blizzard? What’s the forecast, snow wise?

      • rhywun

        6 to 8 inches. Pretty minor after the hype all week.

      • Ted S.

        We were forecast to get around 3 inches. Looks like the storm moved further east than predicted.

      • Ted S.

        We’ve got a lot of wind, but maybe an inch of snow. I swept off the deck at 5:00 this morning, and in the meantime we’ve gotten another dusting’s worth of snow.

  19. Sean

    Mornin peeps.

    Good stuff CPRM.

  20. CPRM

    On CBS sports radio this morning: “…society is better off when Tom Brady is playing.” Fucksake

    • Fourscore

      Too local…

    • rhywun

      I’ve heard that with other media darling stars but not taken to the level of “society”. ?

    • rhywun

      I didn’t see any batons or water cannons. Refreshing!

  21. Sean

    Local news is running a bit on a healthy diet=healthy immune system.

    Sounds like misinformation to me.

    • CPRM

      healthy diet KN95 Mask + Vax + Booster + Double Booster + Triple Booster + Super Booster =healthy immune system

    • Fourscore

      The Covid is an insidious conspiracy plot by Big Gov to get rid of the geezers in an attempt to reconcile the deficit/debt/inflation.

      Can’t fool Ol’ Fourscore

      • creech

        Billions saved on social security payments!

  22. hayeksplosives

    Ok CPRM, that was f@cking priceless.

    Hahaha!!!

    I can’t believe I missed it yesterday.

    /wipes laugh tears from eyes