Glibcrostic 3

by | Feb 24, 2022 | Games | 344 comments

Glibcrostic 3

 

Last week I referred to the featured image as a part of one of the clues, I think I’ll make that a thing. So from now on the featured image will either be integral to a clue or like todays more of a hint. I hope I didn’t give to much away. As always Entertainment only yadda yadda no gambling etc etc….

 

As I mentioned last week the program that I use to make these doesn’t have a good way to solve them online, and I couldn’t find any good alternatives, so I got some HTML, C++, and Javascript for maroons books and I’m going to try and build my own. That’s right, I’m going to learn to code.

 

SOLUTION

About The Author

The Hyperbole

The Hyperbole

The Hyperbole can beat any of you chumps at Earthshaker! the greatest pinball machine of all time.

344 Comments

  1. MikeS

    L

    • CPRM

      i

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        C

      • Fatty Bolger

        K

      • MikeS

        A

      • CPRM

        m

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        Y

      • Not Adahn

        ‘S

      • Ownbestenemy

        t

      • MikeS

        e

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        R

      • MikeS

        d

    • Tundra

      Holy shit!

      You guys actually completed a sentence! Well done.

      • Lackadaisical

        I’m so proud. *Wipes away single tear*

  2. CPRM

    Mixing numbers and letters is confusing. Why I failed geometry.

    Also, I think I know Biden’s next move . Genius!

    • EvilSheldon

      Napping?

    • The Other Kevin

      I think Hillary still has that button in a closet next to her server.

    • Fourscore

      Gets a bonus pudding cup. It’s a slot machine with one button, every hand’s a winner!

    • Compelled Speechless

      I heard that’s on loan from Klaus Schwab.

    • Ted S.

      Mixing numbers and letters is confusing.

      Do I need to post another Countdown link?

  3. Sean

    O – SugarFree doesn’t fit.

  4. Sean

    Well, J is certainly newt.

  5. Bobarian LMD

    There were only two musical numbers in the Blues Brothers:

    ‘Stand By Your Man’ and ‘Rawhide’.

    • Swiss Servator

      I don’t “Think” your comment is correct!

      • MikeS

        Curse you!

      • cyto

        Holy cow, that comment was tight!

      • cyto

        Ray Charles might want to see him about that claim

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        I just wanted to link my favorite Blues Brothers song

      • cyto

        Holy crap, how did I know a rubber biscuit was behind that link?

    • Compelled Speechless

      Because one is country and one is western right? I got you.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Thank you!

  6. DEG

    Another day busy with work, so I won’t work on this. Like last time, I skipped to the solution. I won’t spoil it but you again got some chuckles from me.

  7. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    no gambling etc

    You’re not the boss of me!

  8. Gustave Lytton ????

    WTF WP? Don’t want Hype to have a C++ barf bag? Fine.

    • rhywun

      Assembly or GTFO

  9. cyto

    As seen on Chanel 7 ft Lauderdale News story filed by Kevin Fox:

    Local convenience store clerk, 40 year old father, is ambushed behind the counter, punched, thrown to the ground and kicked by a would be robber.

    He fights to his feet, a bit of wrestling ensues.

    And then our reporter tells us “but he fought back. And how did he fight off his attacker? ”

    The video shows him reach behind his back and draw his handgun.

    “He pulled his gun and fired at his attacker, striking him once. The attacker fled…”

    Has something changed? I have not seen this story told this way in a long time.

    Story finished with police catching the wounded suspect in a nearby neighborhood where residents called police. Reporter interviews the clerk in the store and asks if he considered quitting. “I am a man. I am going to fight back,” he says, holding a short barrel shotgun.

    • R C Dean

      a short barrel shotgun

      Oof. I hope not too short, or the ATF will come a-calling.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Looked like a Mossberg/Maverick with 18″ barrel. Not too short for legal issues.

      • R C Dean

        Scrolled through the video. He should be fine.

    • Rebel Scum

      By promoting it at home!

      • cyto

        So much this.

        That was the most ludicrous quote ever.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Seeing as government is essentially one never ending gaslight, it just seems par for the course to me. Falls neatly in with their usual “war is peace, freedom is slavery” talk.

      • CPRM

        +1941 FDR non-gold backed tokens to use on the skee ball machine.

    • The Other Kevin

      There are peace protests in Moscow. I’m sure he’ll say something about how important that is.

      • CPRM

        The Russians are peacefully protesting in Ukraine as well. Black Sea Lives Matter.

      • MikeS

        alol

      • Swiss Servator

        “Black Sea Lives Matter”

        *snortlaugh*

      • WTF

        BLACK SEA SMITH MATTER!!! AND BY “MATTER” MEAN….

    • R C Dean

      Here’s hoping the opposition (the real one, not the one in Parliament) is regrouping. My suggestion:

      Announce a boycott on deliveries to Ottawa until:

      (1) Trudeau is out as PM
      (2) All property seized by the government is returned and the owners made whole (if the government trashed a truck, the government pays to fix it)
      (3) All COVID mandates are lifted

      You could do more, demanding reform of the Emergency Powers Act, an investigation of police abuses, etc., but I think a short, simple list to lift the boycott would be the way to go. Once that’s done, you can move on to the other changes that need to be made.

      • Fourscore

        A week’s boycott, coupled with high gas prices, would change opinions of the anti horn honkers

      • Compelled Speechless

        The restriction supports work from home, they don’t need much gas. Once the Kale and Avocado aisles dry up, the truckers will really have the laptop legion by the balls!

      • Gustave Lytton ????

        No it won’t. They’d just further blame the truckers.

    • cyto

      Lol

      That was layers of funny.

      “Diversity”… Shows mostly middle aged women and seemingly gay men.

      “We come from all over the world”… Uh, no you don’t. North Atlantic is right there in the name.

      • DEG

        Pedant alert:

        Uh, no you don’t. North Atlantic is right there in the name.

        France and the UK have inhabited territories outside of the North Atlantic. The Netherlands has islands in the Caribbean. Spain has some territories in Africa, I think they’re on the Mediterranean.

    • Lackadaisical

      Makes me want to give them a wedgie.

    • Raven Nation

      It’s not so much the woke stuff that’s a problem. When you can make a 90 second ad that doesn’t actually say anything about your core mission, that’s a pretty good sign that most of it is a make-work program for bureaucrats, ex-politicians, and apparatchiks. NATO should have been dissolved around December, 1992. Countries could have signed bilateral agreements if the wanted. By then, of course, far too many beaks were getting wet.

      “NATO was designed to to keep the Russians out, the Americans in, and the Germans down.” Well, one out of three isn’t too bad.

    • Plisade

      Did I just see rainbow dog tags on a military uniform?

      • Drake

        Everyone hated our shoulder patch when I was in the National Guard.

      • R C Dean

        Gay.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Yet, fashionable and elegant!

      • Gustave Lytton ????

        Maybe so. But a lot of history behind it at least. The armory I drilled at was named after a dead 42ID soldier circa WWII. And that was on the other side of the country.

    • DEG

      I tried to watch the ad and tapped out pretty quickly.

  10. Fatty Bolger

    After playing it for a little while every day, I think I’ve figured out what’s behind Wordle’s success (besides the much discussed social media aspect, though that ties in closely). It *seems* like it’s smart and kind of difficult, but it’s actually very easy. It’s basically the Big Bang Theory of puzzle games.

    • CPRM

      the Big Bang Theory of puzzle games.

      Blackface for word nerds?

    • cyto

      Nailed it!

      • cyto

        Also, master mind combined with word puzzle. Pretty smart. And no, he did not invent that combo. There definitely was a physical version of that some 20+ years ago.

      • Ted S.

        Lingo was a game show in the 1980s, before the Chuck Woolery version.

    • EvilSheldon

      Hey!

      Joking. I really hate TBBT.

      • Not Adahn

        “science” “jokes”

      • Sean

        Young Sheldon has grown on me, but that’s because Annie Potts is awesome.

    • db

      Quordle is a little more challenging.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Thanks, I’ll give it a try.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Got it in:

        3 5
        9 8

        Definitely seems harder even with the extra guesses.

      • Fatty Bolger

        That’s awesome.

    • rhywun

      There’s a social media aspect?

      I’ve played a few times. It’s a fun diversion for a few minutes. And yeah, it’s pretty easy when there’s no time limit.

  11. LCDR_Fish

    Hypothetical…if you were going to take a job overseas in a decent country – but had to leave your firearms behind – how would you store them if you were uncertain about ease/access/reliability of friends/family (depending on location, etc). Locked container in a locked storage unit (breaking the rules man…) – or something else?

    • MikeS

      I have extra space here.

      • Fourscore

        MikeS starts hammering on a new project

      • MikeS

        I’m aiming to expand my collection.

    • cyto

      Storage units do not allow firearms?

      Did not know that.

      Thought two… Sentimental value, grandfathered, or just regular guns? Because they hold value pretty well and you could probably sell and repurchase without much if any loss. (Barring a big move by team D to ban everything)

      • Urthona

        Just leave them anyway. They’re not gonna check.

      • Fourscore

        Keep your rent paid, hate to see nice guns on Storage Wars

    • CPRM

      In a Christmas stocking, anti-gun people see Christmas fare as garlic to Pie.

    • Animal

      Personally I’d try to leave the ones I couldn’t replace with my kids and sell the rest, although while we were in the process of moving we stored guns brought up in checked baggage in a climate-controlled secure storage in Wasilla with no problem. There was no rule against it here.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Yeah…it might depend on the chain – I don’t think Uhaul likes it (but maybe that was just ammo – it’s been a while since I last looked).

    • EvilSheldon

      I would find a local gun store and see if they’d be willing to rent some space in their vault. Get a rental contract in writing.

    • CPRM

      Russia appears to really be going all in. The only armies in the world equipped to deal with a Russian all-out assault are America, China, and the Taliban.

      Well, isn’t the Taliban now armed by the other two?

      • cyto

        Tweet was funny. Your take is funny.

        Not funny? The billions in arms and equipment we left then. Oh, and the subjugation of Ukraine.

      • CPRM

        Maybe Ukraine shoulda sent their 10% to The Big Guy.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I thought they did.

      • CPRM

        I guess not this year.

      • cyto

        Or, the thing that nobody is saying, barista is in the Russian leaning camp.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Orange Man withheld the pile they were going to take Putin’s tribute from because he’s a big doody head.

  12. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    so I got some HTML, C++, and Javascript for maroons books

    N
    E
    R
    D

    • Ownbestenemy

      Give him a week and he will be able to code that.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        No doubt

  13. cyto

    I thought the best sammich was peanut butter and jelly.

    Yes, I do have elementary school kids.. why do you ask?

    • CPRM

      But do you eat it peanut butter or jelly down?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        You put peanut butter on both bread slices and let the jelly just slosh around the middle.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I didn’t like that category on Pr0nhub

      • Bobarian LMD

        Let me guess, you got tired of it after a little while?

      • Lackadaisical

        Gross.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I guess I could have phrased it a little better:

        Bread
        PB
        Jelly
        PB
        Bread

      • EvilSheldon

        This is correct. Every other way is wrong.

      • Lackadaisical

        No, I got it. It’s just wrong.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I think you need to leave.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Follow up question. Slice: vertical or diagonal?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        No slicing at all.

      • Ownbestenemy

        In half and better have a large glass of milk.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Both are incorrect, diagonal slice is more important than the order of the ingredients and milk, while strongly preferred is still technically optional. May you both live out the rest of your days in shame.

      • MikeS

        You put peanut butter on both bread slices and let the jelly honey just slosh around the middle.

        Now that is a good sandwich.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Butter first, then peanut butter…I believe that was grandma’s way of getting us fat during the depression…

      • Bobarian LMD

        Fuck, I hated that when I was a kid.

        Grandma would sneak butter into everything.

        Got to have calories out on the farm.

        For instance — A little snack between Breakfast, Dinner, and Supper? Roast beef and mashed potatoes (with lots of butter).

        And a 5 gallon tub (metal can) of Schwan’s ice cream for dessert.

      • Not Adahn

        Peanut butter
        Bread
        Jelly

      • Lackadaisical

        Keto friendly?

      • Bobarian LMD

        If you get the right bread, the right pb, and skip the jelly, then sure?

      • R C Dean

        Putting the PB and the J on the outside of the bread is an interesting approach.

      • Swiss Servator

        Your hands must be a mess!

      • Not Adahn

        Eat with my hands? Are you a savage?

      • Compelled Speechless

        Yeah, you eat it head first out of a trough like a civilized glib.

  14. Rebel Scum

    I think we all know the real problem with war.

    He also stated that there would be “massive emissions consequences to the war,” and “equally importantly, you’re going to lose people’s focus, you’re going to lose, certainly, big country attention. Because they will be diverted, and I think it could have a damaging impact. So, I think, hopefully, President Putin would realize that, in the northern part of his country, they used to live on 66% of a nation that was over frozen land. Now, it’s thawing and his infrastructure is at risk, and the people of Russia are at risk. And so, I hope President Putin will help us to stay on track with respect to what we need to do for the climate.”

    • MikeS

      Curse you!

      • MikeS

        I respected Hype and waited nearly an hour to make my comment, only to be be beaten to the punch by seconds. Sad!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      What an embarrassing fuckstick.

    • Animal

      Well, he’s certainly got his priorities fucked up, as usual.

      • cyto

        But just imagine how much better things would be if he had won the presidency.

      • Lackadaisical

        Duck you for even making me think about it.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      Pooty is laughing at the entire Biden admin

    • one true athena

      What ‘infrastructure’ depends on frozen tundra? Wouldn’t it actually be a net positive to have more accessible resources and more farmland? I get Kerry’s whole grift is to make everything sound catastrophic, but I can’t even figure out what risk he’s talking about.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        A thawing permafrost would probably cause problems for any roads or buildings they have there, but the share of population in those places is pretty small.

      • Lackadaisical

        Ice road truckers/Panama canal hardest hit?

    • R.J.

      I just had two hot dogs for lunch. I got his massive emissions right here!

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      If this wasn’t about something so serious, the reactions from politicians in the US, NATO, and EU would be absurdly funny. I’d say the odds have just jumped quite a bit that China makes a move on Taiwan.

      Someone posted this earlier. I looked at my own kids and felt a bit chilled.
      https://twitter.com/GirkinGirkin/status/1496854488933715972

    • Compelled Speechless

      We just stuck our dicks in a nuclear armed hornet’s nest. Does he feel that nuclear holocaust will help or hurt the environment? I think the WEF sorts might be happy that their plan to blot out the sun just got expedited.

  15. MikeS

    All you cretins are worried about people dying, Ukraine’s sovereignty, escalation to a larger war, hurting the US and world economies, etc. What we really need to be focusing on is climate change:

    John Kerry fears Russia-Ukraine war will distract from climate change

    “So, you know, I think hopefully President Putin would realize that in the northern part of his country, they used to live on 66% of the nation that was over frozen land.”

    “Now it’s thawing, and his infrastructure is at risk,” he added. “And the people of Russia are at risk. And so I hope President Putin will help us to stay on track with respect to what we need to do for the climate.”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “Now that our latest failure is on full swing, we’d like to return to our regularly scheduled programming.”

    • Ownbestenemy

      Seems all the hot takes are: Inflation is caused by Ukraine, Trump facilitated this, people are gathering indoors without mask and climate change. The absolute gaslighting of people and their apparent appetite for it is mindboggling.

    • EvilSheldon

      It’s demoralization all the way down…

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      The Russians might welcome a warmer climate.

      Kerry’s response is similar to some spokeshole who said something like “Putin should be focused on Building Back Better instead of Ukraine”. I can’t remember if it was Psaki, Victoria Nuland or some other dim bulb who came up with that one.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That sounds like Psaki. Nuland is an arrogant twat, but she’s not quite that stupid.

      • Not Adahn

        Nyet! Climate is fine.

  16. Lackadaisical

    Thanks for the article yesterday TOK. the vaccine part may be relevant to me, if I ever get life settled here to take some time off.

    • The Other Kevin

      You’re welcome!

  17. Certified Public Asshat

    None of this would be happening if we'd just reelected Trump like Putin had wanted #worldwar3— Michael Malice (@michaelmalice) February 24, 2022

    Amazing troll.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’ve seen some contortions along the lines of “Putin didn’t invade Ukraine during Trumps tenure because he didn’t want his puppet to look bad.”

  18. Rebel Scum

    The road to Kyiv is open.

    Moscow on Thursday captured the Gosmotel military airport, near capital Kyiv, and the Chernobyl nuclear power plant in northern Ukraine after Russian troops crossed into northern Ukraine from Belarus, entering through the Chernobyl nuclear disaster zone, Ukraine’s prime minister said.

    • Lackadaisical

      Jesus.

      At this point I’m not even mad, I’m impressed at the Russians.

      You’d think the guys at the airport would be sitting ducks and be wiped out by the Ukrainians.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Twitter updates make it sound like the airborne guys might be a little too far ahead of their backup, guess we’ll see how many stingers the ukrainians have.

      • R C Dean

        One military theorist/historian, can’t remember who, posited that the main value of airborne landings behind enemy lines was to motivate the follow-on infantry to get there before the airborne force was wiped out.

      • kinnath

        “We’re supposed to be surrounded”

      • kinnath

        Yes!

      • Animal

        According to Stephen Ambrose, an accurate quote.

      • R C Dean

        guess we’ll see how many stingers the ukrainians have.

        Prediction: not enough.

      • Rebel Scum

        At this point I’m not even mad, I’m impressed at the Russians.

        Same here. And I say that as someone with Ukrainian ancestry (great grandfather immigrated to the US).

        I guess that is what you get with military ads like these.

      • MikeS

        military ads like these.

        SMDH

      • CatchTheCarp

        The comments are pretty good:

        USA: “I’m Emma and i have two moms”

        Russian: “I’m Dimitri and i have two grenades”

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      Gosmotel military airport

      This was the Antonov 225’s (world’s largest aircraft) last location according to flight radar

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Antonov just reported that the plane is indeed at Gosmotel but is undamaged as of now.

    • Ownbestenemy

      When was this sudden change in how to pronounce Kyiv?

      • MikeS

        I’ve been wondering the same.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        It’s been the official USG spelling for years now

      • MikeS

        There’s an awful lot of recipe cards and menus that need updating.

      • Rebel Scum

        Idk but I’m trying to stay current.

    • Loveconstitution1789

      Supposedly the russians captured the airport, ukrainians took it back. As russians were expected to recapture the airport, ukrainians blew up the runways making russian landings more difficult in the short term.

      That was from Ukrainian former deputy prime minister.

      Russian murder of innocent Ukrainians day 2.

  19. robc

    Clue A is clearly “Hot Brown”, but that is 8 letters, not 6.

    • Bobarian LMD

      L’Royal.

  20. robc

    Schadenfreude update update: Updating from this morning, it is down another 25% today.

    I guess bad, bad news being expected with tomorrow’s Q4 announcement.

    • kinnath

      I think I posted in some long forgotten thread on finding a place to live — “Don’t live near a target”.

      • Tundra

        Contrarian view: if we get into a real war, I’d prefer vaporization.

        Mi

      • Compelled Speechless

        ???

    • LJW

      Hmm according to that site 0 deaths and 0 injuries. My town has a pop of 2,318 per square mile. Can’t imagine we have that much lead paint on our homes.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Seems their ‘causality’ calculator doesn’t work for certain areas.

      • rhywun

        Same here. My neighborhood has a population of around 69,000.

      • Bobarian LMD

        The website defaults to Ground-burst for all bombs, but that ain’t how they work.

        Air-burst should be the default.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Im good as long as something like the size of a TSAR bomb goes off. I live far enough away from city center and Nellis.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m not. Outside of DC, I live near probably the highest priority military targets in the country.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I meant to say as long was it isn’t the size of Tsar….other yields I am good.

      • Rebel Scum

        Same here. But I doubt the closest city to me would even be a target.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Nellis and the Range are probably top priority for any nation to take out. Nellis is where our Drone Jockeys are at and of course our black book projects out of the range.

      • R C Dean

        If I was going to launch a nuclear attack on the US, I would make sure DC and the Pentagon were untouched. I would focus on targets that would have value, instead.

      • Ownbestenemy

        As weird as it sounds, OKC would be top on my priority.

      • robodruid

        Its not weird at all.
        And I am not going to say why, as i am on enough lists as it is.
        At least i wont have to worry about AFFF cleanup though.

      • Ownbestenemy

        So you understand why

      • Not Adahn

        I used to get to visit the C5s at Tinker when I was a wee lad.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Timothy McVeigh, is that you? Did they fake the execution?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Well then, make us number one.

        Norfolk NOB, Langley, Ft Eustis, Little Creek – Ft Story, Naval Weapons Station, Cheatham Annex, Oceana Dam Neck, Newport News Shipyard, NW Annex, Camp Peary

      • R C Dean

        *jots notes*

        Of course, sir. Would you prefer multiple smaller warheads, or a single large warhead?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’d like a side order of hypersonic cruise missiles to go please.

      • robodruid

        Probably an airburst, followed by a groundburst if you please.
        Hole the cobalt.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Yeah, Edmonton’s got high value, as there’s an oil refinery less than 18km northeast of me that processes half-a-million barrels of crude/day. No way any other nuclear power’s gonna leave us alone if we could possibly assist the U.S.

      • Not Adahn

        That, and you need to leave the leadership intact so they can surrender.

      • Urthona

        Don’t think it’s likely to happen, but the possibility is certainly a bit less remote today.

    • Lackadaisical

      Luckily they have studied the intersection of trayvon Martin and nuclear war.

    • R C Dean

      Yeah, with the airbase we have in Tucson, I expect to have an excellent view of the nuclear detonation shortly before “But its a dry heat” takes on a whole new meaning.

    • kinnath

      Never during the cold war did I believe that nuclear war might actually happen.

      Now, I am terrified.

    • Fourscore

      I’m moving to Ottawa, I’ll be safe there

  21. R C Dean

    Just got an announcement that we had twins born in Room 2 at 2:00 on 2/22/22.

    • MikeS

      Lame. She should have held off for 22 more minutes.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        He said while out of arm’s reach.

      • MikeS

        Haha. Exactly!

      • Lackadaisical

        My sister in law, at the behest of the nurses, literally held her kid in so the doctor could arrive to ‘deliver’. *Smdh*

      • R C Dean

        The mother was 22, if that helps.

      • MikeS

        For real? This all seems a little to convenient. I mean, for one thing, twins aren’t born at the exact same time. I suppose the 2nd one was born right at 2:00?

      • R C Dean

        Hey, I’m just reading it off the teleprompter.

      • MikeS

        I’m starting to think that maybe, just maybe, you are pulling our legs. I need to continue not doing any work so I can consider this possibility for a while.

      • R C Dean

        I’m just telling you what my company is telling me. They wouldn’t lie, right?

        We do deliver around 16 babies a day, so its not that implausible.

      • MikeS

        Plausible. I’ll grant you that.

      • Fourscore

        “If there is the slightest possibility”

        /Vaxxer X4

    • LJW

      Good, makes up for this piece of shit.

    • Swiss Servator

      Last name of “Twain”?

      • R C Dean

        SMITH, I believe.

      • Not Adahn

        Yes, we’ll have a lovely murder-poo!

  22. Ownbestenemy

    Pudding Pop is speaking and once again, reading from a crib sheet for what reporters to call on.

    • Ownbestenemy

      And his questions are canned and they definitely prepped that old fool to answer them.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      My confidence in the institutions has never been higher.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Reporters are moving beyond the prepared answers and he is getting angry lol

      • Lackadaisical

        Look, fat. If Putin doesn’t stop, we’re gonna sanction more threats, and he’s not gonna like that.

    • Rebel Scum

      It’s times like these that I am glad we have a leader that can project – uh – you know the thing.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Q: Are you speaking with China to join in the sanctions?
        A: Im not prepared to answer that.

        That is fucking fantastic.

      • Urthona

        Russia is still a second tier hockey power. Ukraine gains them nothjnf

      • Urthona

        Dammit

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        He’s fine. He just got boosted yesterday.

      • Urthona

        As part of my fat finger I also posted to a random thread.

    • R C Dean

      Random thought:

      What if, earlier this week, Biden had flown into Kiev. Do you think the Russians would invade a country while the US President was there? What about having a big international summit in Kiev, with a couple dozen “world leader” types?

      I mean, maybe they’re not completely useless. Maybe they have some value as human shields.

      • Urthona

        No I don’t. I think i’m he’s too smart to engage the west in direct war but smart enough to know the west won’t engage him. So, moving first was the shrewd decision here.

      • Claypoolsreservoir

        Correct. This is a leverage move. The west will do nothing militarily to stop his incursion into the Ukraine. Being the Ukraine is a sovereign state, he’ll come to the table in the coming weeks or months and demand some consolations from the west before he removes himself (my theory). If there are no consolations… Ukraine is Russia, and the West is caught with their thumbs up their asses because they aren’t going to war with Russia…. Period.

      • kinnath

        Russia is not going to withdraw from Ukraine. Ukraine is gone.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ?

      • Claypoolsreservoir

        Possibly, to me the likelihood of indefinite civil war (I.e. Afghanistan) is very high. What value does the Ukraine have (as a whole) to Russia if you assume half the populace will take up arms for eternity?

      • kinnath

        1994

        I was a biz trip to Moscow. I was chatting with the Russian engineer we had just hired to be our local representative.

        He was talking about vacationing in Ukraine. He was opining about the break up of the USSR. The comment that sticks in my mind was “How can you say Ukraine is not Russia?”.

      • R C Dean

        “Maybe you should ask the Ukrainians.”

      • Claypoolsreservoir

        So Absence makes the heart grow fonder? I don’t buy it.

        Russia of today wants to be more relevant from an international trade perspective. There is no communist element of needing workers and farms and fields or black sea vacation homes. Putin doesn’t care about that. He wants power. And power is currently completely sequestered in the use of the US dollar as the de-facto trade currency. That’s what he’s after; weakening US influence to bring Russia back into the fold. The only way the Ukraine can achieve those goals is as a bargaining chip.

      • kinnath

        My guess is that Ukraine breaks up. Russia keeps the parts that are essential to its economic interests (pipelines and access to the Black Sea). The rest goes to something Russia doesn’t care about.

        Ukraine itself is gone.

      • kinnath

        There is no communist element of needing workers and farms and fields or black sea vacation homes.

        Communism is fucking gone from Russia. It has no relevance to this invasion.

        This is about Russian nationalism, Russian paranoia, and Russian economics.

      • Lackadaisical

        Poland can get Lvov back?

      • Claypoolsreservoir

        Uh, I know… “There is NO communist element..”

      • R C Dean

        Maybe. I suspect installing a puppet government and leaving would be the smart move. Russia doesn’t have the greatest record when it comes to being on the receiving end of a guerrilla war.

      • Surly Knott

        See. They’re just like us!

      • PieInTheSky

        Maybe he could have killed putin while there and ended things

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Death by pushup contest?

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        His Ninja-like pudding-cup skills.

      • R C Dean

        + 1 rusty pool chain

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Corn Pootin was a bad dude.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      He’s going to challenge Putin to a pushup contest and the winner gets Ukraine.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        Or maybe the loser should get Ukraine.

  23. Sean

    Anyone else thinking about buying more 7.62×39 today?

    • kinnath

      no

    • EvilSheldon

      Nope.

      I thought about buying another case of match 5.56mm. But I think about that almost every day…

    • Rebel Scum

      I’ve been wanting an SKS. So yes.

    • Drake

      The Ukrainians I would guess.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      I guess that’s an improvement from when they were marching through Germany.

  24. Rebel Scum

    Swallowswell is a serious person.

    Kyiv and Kharkiv are being bombed. The largest invasion on our planet since WW2. Republicans are rooting for the Russians. God be with Ukraine and democracy.

    I guess we know where you stand when China attacks Taiwan.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I am pretty sure our invasion of Iraq was larger. For a European country sure. What a dick.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Largest invasion since WW2? Bigger than Desert Storm or the Iraq War?

      I’m not rooting for Russia. I just don’t want us sending troops. And I don’t think Ukraine is really much of a democracy, especially when we helped overthrow an elected president about 10 years ago.

      • EvilSheldon

        Come on, you know how this works. If you disagree with a Democrat in any way, you’re rooting for the Russians. Don’t blame Swalwell too much, his programming can only handle one subroutine at a time.

      • Compelled Speechless

        It’s still pretty disgusting that he’s already making this shit partisan. Predicable, but disgusting. Politicians really are everything wrong with the world.

      • R C Dean

        Bigger than Desert Storm or the Iraq War?

        How about the Korean War? Either the first invasion of the south, or the Chinese invasion?

        How about the Viet Nam War? I would expect the final invasion of the south was pretty sizable.

        Hell, Saddam’s invasion of Kuwait wasn’t a couple of Iraqis in a jeep, either.

    • WTF

      Oh my God, the fucking replies. Mental illness on full display.

      • EvilSheldon

        I worry that stupidity spreads through memetic contact – you hang out with wetbrains long enough, you eventually become one yourself…

    • Not Adahn

      Biden is “taking steps to rally international condemnation.”

      Kaylieburrough could have come up with a better tweet than that.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Do we even know what the sanctions are he is proposing or doing? Cause all I heard was they will be terrible….and either didn’t go into detail or ignored reporters. What a god damn joke he is. I am glad they are sanctions and not troops but this closed off transparency they give the press is insane.

      • wdalasio

        On a certain level, you can’t blame him. Pretty much any sanction we can level is pretty much a joke. Really, our only option in this was only ever going to be military conflict. Which would be really, really stupid. That’s part of why this nonsense was idiotic from the outset. What we should have been doing is trying to find a diplomatic solution (I keep hearing them from various non-Cathedral sources and they don’t seem to vary too much). Instead our foreign policy players just couldn’t get past the fact that Putin made them look like asses when they tried to color revolution the Ukraine out of Russian orbit and into Western orbit. So they could only accept an outcome as if they’d actually pulled their little stunt off. And they’ve blown a lot of smoke up the Ukrainians’ rear ends about what exactly they can expect from the West in terms of support. And now the Ukrainians are screwed for their troubles.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Part of diplomacy is knowing and understanding the acceptable outcomes of your competitors.

        That’s very difficult to do when you’re convinced of your own superiority and infallibility.

      • Claypoolsreservoir

        Our only real economic weapon is energy production… And we threw that out the window about a year ago.

    • Gustave Lytton ????

      As if the Republicans weren’t warmongers either.

      We know where traitor Swallowswell stands on China.

      • Compelled Speechless

        The important thing to remember is that they’re all blood soaked monsters who are willing to frivolously lie to get millions of people killed if it means the get a prestigious job and a lot of attention. Don’t let this distract you from who the real enemy is. It’s Russia’s leaders, our leaders, the EU leaders…….it’s the state. It’s always the state.

    • wdalasio

      I guess we know where you stand when China attacks Taiwan.

      In line for another five minutes with Feng-Feng.

  25. Ghostpatzer

    OK, I give up. WTF is “definte”?

    • Fatty Bolger

      It’s an antonym to “covfefe.” A perfectly cromulent word.

    • The Hyperbole

      Fuck me, okay ‘patzer you just volunteered to proof read all future glibcrostics,

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Bread
    PB
    Jelly
    PB
    Bread

    Sounds like a good way to get jelly on your shoes, says the guy who mostly eats standing up.

      • Lackadaisical

        Yes, if you’re storing your sandwich for a long time, jelly directly into the bread becomes a mess. If you plan to eat your sandwich fresh it poses no issue.

      • Compelled Speechless

        What kind of monster produces their PBJ more than a day in advance? Between the PBJ butchery in this forum and the Ukraine news I think I’ve lost what faith I have left in humanity.

      • Lackadaisical

        That’s exactly my point, peanut butter on both sides is an abomination, only used by heretics.

    • R.J.

      Keeps the sandwich from getting soggy whilst traveling .

  27. The Late P Brooks

    That recruiting ad link above- I laughed long and hard at the American one.

    Corporal Crusher Has two Mommies!

    Also-

    The phrase, “Self-fulfilling prophecy” keeps running though my head like an earworm.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Oh Jesus…..funny

      • Compelled Speechless

        I’m curious what he thought was going to happen.

      • EvilSheldon

        Lots of pageviews.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Now that is some energy!

      • Compelled Speechless

        I’ll have to put that on my watch list. I love a good documentary.

      • Animal

        It’s worth the watch. The Einsteins really put Tasmania on the map.

    • Rebel Scum

      I see today is full of shocking news.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Its just alternating current events and DC is mad it let slip the narrative.

      • Animal

        Yeah, but now they’re galvanized into action. I hope we can stay insulated from the effects.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Thanks for posting that and sparking the conversation.

      • R C Dean

        We should keep it short, before Swiss gets here.

      • kinnath

        Swiss is currently occupied elsewhere,

      • Compelled Speechless

        Did he piss off his wife so she blew a fuse and now he’s grounded?

    • Tonio

      Pulp fiction, literally.

    • Tundra

      Love those!

      My favorite genre, too.

    • Compelled Speechless

      Finally, the right kind of war. Where it’s only white people (and the blackfaces of white supremacy on our side) the will be killed. Some real righteous mass murder.

  28. Tonio

    Good on you, Hyperbole.

    If you are a true novice programmer, I’d suggest the Python language (free!), or one of the many variants of BASIC (which was designed as an entry-level programming language).

    • Ownbestenemy

      Nah his dive into C++ should keep him calm for a bit.

      • rhywun

        I actually picked up a C++ book when I decided to start out, because everyone knew it was the hot language that everyone was using for everything. This was some time in the late nineties.

        It didn’t take long to realize I could have chosen better.

        At least the hot language that everyone is using for everything now (Python) is actually pretty easy to get started with.

      • Nephilium

        The first computer I had used BASIC, and we had the option to stick a cartridge in which allowed it to be programmed in LOGO (completely useless in the modern day). The first DOS machine I had, we had QBASIC, and Pascal for it. I didn’t do much with either. Dabbled a bit in C, C++, and VB later. Now I mainly deal with proprietary scripts, SQL queries, and the like.

      • EvilSheldon

        I don’t know how LOGO even got counted as a language. I’ve never seen it outside 80’s elementary schools…

    • Nephilium

      You mean Beginner’s All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        10 LET HELL = 10
        20 GOTO HELL

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      I’d go with the JS first, as the object-oriented structure can be a jumping-off for things like C++

      • db

        I taught myself Java after having learned C++, so it can work both ways?

      • rhywun

        Unless you want him banging his head against the wall in frustration, I would stay far away from JavaScript.

      • Lackadaisical

        That may be exactly the goal…

      • slumbrew

        Very much this – oh so many quirks with JS (== vs. ===, for instance).

        Another vote for Python.

  29. db

    I am seeing a replay of Biden’s speech and comments. It honestly looks like he’s reading his answers off a teleprompter. Clearly, he’s calling on the reporters in order so the answers seem responsive. Am I off base?

    • db

      Wow, he can’t take a challenging question without getting confrontational

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That happens when you’ve got dementia and are pumped up on Adderall.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Nah his first few answers were all scripted (or appeared) and one of the chosen he called on almost got in a follow-up before he moved on. The others that were supposedly called out randomly started to get him agitated cause he had to answer outside of what he prepped for, even if they were all sorta soft balls. Except the question about China..that one he didn’t like at all.

      • db

        Yeah that’s my impression too–it started to go downhill once it went off script.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      The answers seem so bad that they could have only come from him.

  30. Dr. Fronkensteen

    Favorite conspiracy theory. Putin and Biden arranged this so it would happen one week before the State of the Union address (which was moved back a month) so that Biden could look like a strong war leader and have something to talk about other than all of the other Biden failures.

    • R C Dean

      When does the “Biden as strong war leader” part start?

      • kinnath

        His funeral?

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        That’s why it’s my favorite theory. I find it to be stupid for that reason.

    • Compelled Speechless

      The real Putin Puppet? Xi is going to be pissed……he’s never been cheated on by someone who lived to tell the tale.

      • Compelled Speechless

        I just remembered the whole Biden is Walter the dummy and I don’t like where my brain just went with this. ?

    • R.J.

      Hahaha. Since Ukraine was offered terms if surrender today, I somehow doubt Joe will be looking good.
      I can see him pounding his bony fist on his desk.
      “Sanctions! Sanctions I say!”