GlibFit 4.0 – Failed Diet Plans

by | Feb 6, 2022 | GlibFit | 185 comments

 

We have this week off from football. The forecast is for somewhat warmer weather out my way. I’m starting to think about spring. I’m also starting to think about whether I’m going to fit into my shorts. My workouts are way off track and life has been crazy.

 

— • —

 

Many of you have shared all sorts of good advice on losing weight. But where’s the fun in doing what works. So, let’s turn to the internet for failed diet plans.

 

1. Liquid Diets

Liquid weight loss diets have been around for several decades. They involve replacing all or a portion of your meals with a liquid meal or shake. Some liquid-based weight loss diets include:

The Cambridge Diet: The strictest option of this diet provides 440–550 calories as meal replacements for up to 12 weeks. The original plan was criticized for providing as few as 330 calories daily without being medically supervised. What could go wrong?

Protein-Sparing Modified Fast (PSMF): Under medical supervision, obese patients consume fewer than 800 calories daily for six months. I’ve watched My 600 Pound Life. That’s enough to keep me from ever needing a PSMF.

While people can and do lose weight quickly on very low-calorie liquid diets, weight regain is extremely common.

 

2. Carb Blocker Pills

Carb blockers or starch blockers are supplements claimed to promote easy weight loss. They contain extracts from beans that interfere with alpha-amylase, an enzyme that breaks down complex carbs into smaller sugar units that your body can absorb. If complex carbs aren’t broken down into sugar, their calories can’t be absorbed by your body. However, carb blockers can’t completely prevent the digestion and absorption of complex carbs. They only slow down the action of alpha-amylase.

 

3. Juices, Cleanses, and Detoxes

This hodgepodge of pseudoscience can work a number of ways:

    • Drink nothing but water for up to seven days
    • Consume only fresh fruit and vegetable juices
    • Drink specific liquid mixtures, such as lemonade sweetened with maple syrup and cayenne pepper
    • Consume only clear liquids while taking laxatives, enemas or herbs to “colon cleanse” (no kink shaming!)

Because they are so low in calories, these diets can produce quick weight loss. For instance, some detox plans claim you can lose up to 21 pounds in 21 days. However, the majority of the weight lost on these cleanses is likely water, especially during the first few days when weight loss is most rapid.

 

4. Crash or Fad Diets

Here are a few examples of popular crash or fad diets:

Cabbage Soup Diet: This diet promises weight loss of up to 10 pounds in 7 days. Each day you eat all you want of one or two types of food. You also consume a soup made from cabbage and other vegetables every day. Highly recommended if you want to rediscover your Irish roots or love flatulence.

Grapefruit Diet: This classic crash weight loss plan was created in the 1930s and based on grapefruit’s supposed fat-burning properties. In addition to grapefruit at every meal, you consume low-carb, high-protein foods like eggs and meat. Very sciency.

Five-Bite Diet: This approach involves eating anything you want, but it only allows you to take five bites per meal. It was created by Dr. Alwin Lewis, who promises weight loss of up to 15 pounds per week. You can see how well licensing doctors works.

 

5. Eating Only One Food

Known as monotrophic eating or “mono eating,” it involves eating as much as you want of one food for several days. Examples include eating only fruits, eggs, potatoes, or cookies. Like the other methods discussed, rapid short-term weight loss can occur with this strategy. This is mainly due to becoming so tired of eating only one food that your calorie intake automatically decreases. This diet is obviously unbalanced. You will never get the nutrition your body needs.

 

— • —

 

The Olympics started this week. I hate the IOC (parasitic grifters) and the loathe the CCP (murderous, racist fascists). So, what would most offend Chairman Xi? A band fronted by a countertenor who looks like a transsexual Bette Midler singing about an idea bigger (greater?) than the Communist Party. This week’s music.

 

About The Author

Chafed

Chafed

I'm looking California but feeling Minnesota

185 Comments

  1. Urthona

    My current plan is to acquire a tapeworm. I’ll let you know how it works out

    • westernsloper

      Visit sub-saharan Africa. Trust me.

      • Hyperion

        Sub-sahara Africa is the pinnicale of civilization. They don’t have any Neanderthal DNA. You would know this if you were woke, you racist.

      • Tres Cool

        WE WUZ KANGZ!

        (unless thats a racist comment)

    • Chafed

      I used to have an ad from the 1910s(?) for tapeworms as a safe, natural method to lose weight.

      • Sean

        Cocaine was legal until 1914. Just sayin.

      • Hyperion

        So was heroin.

      • Fatty Bolger

        It should still be.

      • Hyperion

        I concur

      • Loveconstitution1789

        It sill is. All drug prohibition laws are unconstitutional and therefore void.

        Even the alcohol prohibitionists knew that they needed a constitutional amendment to ban alcohol. Drugs have no such amendment.

        The fed can regulate drugs but interstate regulation does not equal banning. oppressive regulation is effectively a ban.

        Why Americans dont acquit anyone charged with drug crimes, I will never know.

  2. Jerms

    A few years back I won a fat off we had at the firehouse. I ate iceberg lettuce with a little bit of grilled chicken and red wine vinegar once a day for a month. The night before I drank some laxatives and my friend who used to be an EMT gave me an IV shot of something that made me piss every 10 minutes. The day of the weigh in I was literally hallucinating. Lost like 50 pounds in 30 days. I call that the “I’ll do anything for $1500 bucks” diet.

    • Fourscore

      Were you able to keep the weight off?

      Inquiring minds

      • Penguin

        No, but he was able to pay for the liposuction.

      • westernsloper

        He went to Vegas and blew in all on hookers and blow. Which resulted in another 20 lbs lost.

      • Jerms

        No but I wasnt really fat to begin with.

    • Sean

      Yeah, that sounds unwise.

    • Zwak, holding the spinal column of JFK wrapped in Marilyn Monroes neglegie

      Mmmm… I think that is called the Hollywood diet.

  3. Penguin

    2. Carb Blocker Pills

    Wow, these sound like the exact opposite of what you should do.

  4. LCDR_Fish

    Weird. Not sure about the carb blockers….what about stuff like the ones that swell up in your stomach and make you feel full – take a couple pills 1/2 hour before meal.

    I also get a similar effect when I add 2 tablespoons of Benefiber Probiotic to my post-workout morning protein shake before “lunch” (whatever meal it is between getting up and going to afternoon shift).

  5. ron73440

    I did the Hoppywood diet once on a weekend when I was getting weighed on a Monday and didn’t want to deal with getting taped.

    The Marine Corps would measure your waist and neck and do some math to determine your body fat %.

    I have a small neck and was always very close to the 19% limit, even though I had a six pack, so I tried to avoid taping and was always right around my max weight.

    My buddy was a fat fuck, but had a huge neck so he ended up with a lower % than what I had.

    The Hollywood diet worked for what I used it for, but it is definitely not a long term solution.

    • ron73440

      What the hell is the “Hoppywood diet?

      Should be the Hollywood diet.

      • Chafed

        You do you.

      • tripacer

        You consume nothing but IPA’s, which causes intense vomiting.

    • Gustave Lytton ????

      Army did the same taping. Suck in your gut and bulge your neck. But don’t make it so obvious that doc and the apft nco have to notice.

      • ron73440

        I lost 5 pounds, if I remember correctly and did not get taped that time.

    • DrOtto

      My youngest brother and his neck loved the tape.

  6. Hyperion

    Carbs are your friend. Just eat the ones that humans have always ate, like taters and beeans , don’t eat a bunch of highly processed sugars. Carbs provide energy, just exercise and burn off more than you consume and you’ll be fine.

  7. Fourscore

    I see all those fantastic people on TV that have lost weight and keep it off and they look great.

    What happened between the weight loss and the excess stretched out skin? We’ve all seen those gorditos/gorditas with an apron hanging down, losing weight isn’t going to cure that.

    • Hyperion

      Those peeps on TV have money. Having money makes you happy and you will look better.

  8. Hyperion

    I don’t care who hates me. The vegan diet is the best for you, I did the homeworkd reserach on all of this. Low carb diets are not good for you, but you be you. Low carb keto people telling me ‘I’m always tired’. Well, that’s because your body wants to burn carbs for energy but you are only eating stuff that is more calorie dense and harder for your body to turn into energy. Veggies are your friend, embrace the carbs, get a greenhouse, not a pig pen. Let the hate flow, I can take it.

      • Hyperion

        Oh, and I don’t want to save the planet. The planet will be fine, it’s people who are all fucked up.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Vegan is boring. It’s easy to maintain weight if you force yourself to eat boring food. It’s the same principle as mono diets.

      And please, no propaganda about how it’s not boring. I’ve known enough vegans to know better. If it wasn’t boring, they wouldn’t have to work so hard to convince themselves and everybody else that it’s not.

      • Tres Cool

        When BK rolled out the “Beyond Burger Whopper” a couple years ago, Jugsy brought 1 home and I had a bite.
        I will say that for a patty made of who-knows-what plant material, they did a good job.

      • UnCivilServant

        My biggest complaint about vegetarian or even vegan options is not when they exist, but when they pretend to be something they’re not.

        blaze your own culinary trails, don’t try to replicate meats.

      • Tres Cool

        I concur. If you want the taste or mouth-feel (giggity) of something meat-like, then dont feed me tofu bathed in aminos and say “its just like chicken”.
        Eat some damn chicken. Otherwise, make a salad.

      • l0b0t

        I found the Beyond Burger Whopper to be better than a regular beef Whopper (YMMV). Although for a vegetable substitute, I very much prefer a nice black bean patty. I LOVE meat, I like most vegetables, but I do not want my vegetables pretending they are meat.

      • Hyperion

        It isn’t boring at all. Boring vegans are the assholes that claim to want to save the planet. Eating plant based is good.

      • Chafed

        Hyperion gets it.

    • Tres Cool

      Up until my CoVID-ness in December, I just stuck with around ~50g-carb/day for nearly 3 years. Never once did I feel “low energy”. My initial goal was to get a handle on my blood sugar (that diebeetus runs in the fam) but it also knocked the shit out of my cholesterol. The 30+ pound weight loss, while not intended, wasnt unwelcome.

      • westernsloper

        Low energy=bullshit.

    • westernsloper

      Vegan works for some people (including a handful of Glibs) but I am convinced it is horrible for most people. I am not tired when I am going full keto. I have never felt better. There is nothing wrong with eating some veggies when doing keto. I eat them all the time. Just no grains, legumes, or starchy garbage.

      • Sean

        Eat more avocados!

        ?????

      • UnCivilServant

        Ugh.

        I can’t stand avocados.

      • Hyperion

        I bet cilantro tastes like soap to you also?

      • westernsloper

        ?

    • Tundra

      So much of this is so wrong it almost makes my eyes bleed.

      But, you know what? You do your thing and I wish you nothing but happiness and success.

      But please make sure you supplement B vitamins and aminos.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        *holds Tundra close*

  9. Surly Knott

    Remember the liquified protein diets of the early 80s? Wound up doing a lot of damage to a good percentage of people who used the stuff. I lost some weight on it, but without changing your normal eating habits, that weight’s coming right back.

  10. Hyperion

    I remember Atkins. I did it, it was all the rage back then. I lost a lot of weight and felt like total carpola the entire time, no energy, all sorts of digestive issues. I lost 60 lbs doing vegan and felt and looked better than I have in my entire life, at 58 years old. I did the reserarch and the diet and it worked for me. Well, we are all individuals and I will admit that what works for one, will not necessarily work for all, you be you, that is always the best plan.

    • Jerms

      Yeah I feel the best when I abstain from carbs. Im the same way with drugs and alcohol. Once I start with any of these things I eat or use way too much. Last few months with no carbs and feel great mentally and physically. Everyone has to find their sweet spot.

      • Hyperion

        I feel better when I abstain from alcohol, that is for sure. Diff is, when I did vegan I was not drinking any alcohl or consuming any bad carbs with loads of processed sugar, only veggies and fruits and legumes, tators, etc.

  11. Tres Cool

    Needs MOAR Fen-Phen!

    • Chafed

      It worked. But the side effects….

      • Tres Cool

        Oh, you don’t need that mitral valve anyhow…

    • DrOtto

      No thanks, I’m on the Ayds diet plan.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    I have a crave for fried chicken and mashed potatoes.

    • Tres Cool

      ever since my covid experience, almost daily Ive been craving buffalo wings and potato skins

  13. UnCivilServant

    Failed diet plans – spend the past few days prepping perfectly good food, stacking the fridge full of of prepared packages ready to cook, then opening the fridge and going “I’m not in the mood for this food”

    • LCDR_Fish

      yeah….i have leftover spaghetti noodles from a few weeks ago – have plans to do something with them but couldn’t find olives last week. Maybe next week after I’m out of town for the weekend ;p

      Making burrito “filling” tonight with some refried beans, tomatoes and pre-cooked pork. Will probably have leftovers.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have to figure out how many of the packets need to be moved to the freezer to avoid wastage.

        No real plans about dinner yet. I have plenty of food, just not in the mood for what I’ve got.

        /first world problems

    • Tres Cool

      Its not only you. Many a time Ive come back from spending too much at the grocery, kitchen fully stocked, and I order a pizza.

    • westernsloper

      I made this today. It is good. I will be eating it over a romaine, sweet pepper and avocado salad.

      • l0b0t

        I just had corned beef from the sous vide, then took the juices from the bag and boiled baby golden taters and blanched some cabbage. It was yummy.

      • UnCivilServant

        Did you add water or did the sous vide cooking leech enough salt out of the beef? there are a few methods where the corned beef stays at too high a salt threshold.

      • l0b0t

        I added about 2 cups of water with a big dollop of beef Better Than Bullion.

      • UnCivilServant

        That sounds very tasty

  14. Mojeaux

    My COVID friend whom I took to the hospital in August has chosen to go off the respirator at the end of the month, and she can’t live off the respirator.

    • westernsloper

      Sorry Moj.

    • Sean

      I’m so sorry, Mojeaux.
      That’s terrible.

    • Don escaped Texas

      0.3% sucks

    • ron73440

      Sorry to hear that, sounds horrible.

    • DEG

      Sorry.

    • Hyperion

      Condolences.

    • Gender Traitor

      Oh, I’m so sorry, Mojeaux!

    • Penguin

      Sorry, Mojo.

    • l0b0t

      I’m so sorry, Mojeaux. While still a staunch believer in self-ownership (her body, her choice), it’s devastating for those left behind.

      • Mojeaux

        Her quality of life is just shit with no hope of getting better, and IF she comes out of it, she’s going to come out of it with a million-dollar hospital bill.

        I’d make the same choice,

      • l0b0t

        G/d bless her and keep her. Also, curse the ChiComs and this whole bioweapon research racket.

    • Fourscore

      Mojeaux,

      I completely understand your friend’s motivation. It’s her decision. We have to respect it.

      A few months ago I had some negative thoughts as well. Suffering is no way to live.

      • Mojeaux

        No. She has been in a hospital bed unable to get out and walk around since August with no end in sight.

        It’s a good damned thing we believe in a sweet afterlife or I wouldn’t be as phlegmatic about it.

    • one true athena

      I’m so sorry. That’s tragic to hear.

    • Tundra

      Sorry, Mo.

    • Loveconstitution1789

      Its brave. Death is scary for many, so its a tough one.

  15. DEG

    So, let’s turn to the internet for failed diet plans.

    I indulged in some ice cream today.

    Grapefruit Diet: This classic crash weight loss plan was created in the 1930s and based on grapefruit’s supposed fat-burning properties. In addition to grapefruit at every meal, you consume low-carb, high-protein foods like eggs and meat. Very sciency.

    I think one part of that is OK.

    I did not weigh myself this week. My gym going Friday and Saturday was screwed up because of the storm and its aftermath. My knee tendons were bugging me a bit after snow/ice clearing from both days, so I did not go to the gym on Saturday after I finished another round of snow/ice clearing.

    I did go this morning. I started out with 250 lb sled drags and then deadlifted. I had been trying some ankle mobility exercises and had been stretching more during the week. I started deadlifting at 65 lbs, and worked up to 95 lbs. No tendon pain. The rest of my lifting (belt squat, some core work, some leg isolation work) went without a problem.

    RE: GlibFit: In the line at the grocery store today there was a woman with a magnificent set of calves. She lifts. But there were two problems: She’s married. She was wearing a face diaper.

    Music selection is good.

    • Tundra

      Glad your deads are improving. Sorry about the girl!

    • Urthona

      awesome

    • Hyperion

      Zukerborg needs to die in hell with Twatter and CNN.

    • Gustave Lytton ????

      Counting on the FB & Instagram addicts to put pressure on their politicians. Will probably work.

      • Urthona

        I don’t know. Feels like FB is dying down a lot.

  16. Hyperion

    Y’all know that your social credit score is declining right now?

    • westernsloper

      I’m not sure mine could be lower.

    • Penguin

      Hyp, go check the bottom of the dead thread for lyrics. If the rhyme scheme seems odd, it’s based on American Pie.

      • Hyperion

        +100, good job!

      • westernsloper

        *Stands giving thunderous applause*

    • Loveconstitution1789

      Hard to get lower than 0.

  17. Chipping Pioneer

    Where is a good site to share a photo without creating an account?

    • Sean

      Nsa.gov

      • westernsloper

        Ha!

      • db

        I can’t quite put my finger on it.

      • Penguin

        Oh, db, you’re here. You might find this link more useful than the last one I gave you for Hydrox.

      • Penguin

        Also, anyone else who prefers Hydrox over Oreos. Just be prepped to buy 6 packs and wait a couple weeks.

      • Mojeaux

        Paging KK.

      • UnCivilServant

        I can’t find Hydrox.

      • UnCivilServant

        By the package.

        I don’t think a whole apllet would work…

      • Fourscore

        Follow Penguin’s link. That’s the way to buy cookies

      • Penguin

        See my 4:36. You have to buy 6 pack case(s). They’re $15-18 plus shipping. It’s a bulk shopping place.

        Given how long their shelf life is, 6 packages shouldn’t be too bad for a fan. I’ll admit spending $2.4 k for a pallet might be a bit much.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t see an option to just buy packages, or even cases, just “buy the whole pallet”.

      • Penguin

        Ah shit. Sorry, everyone, I think UCS is correct. They had a “price by case” displayed which I took to be an ordering option.

      • db

        Cool, thanks
        I wonder if I showed up at the local store with a pallet of these if they’d pay me for them and put them on sale.

      • Gender Traitor

        Take your pallet to just outside the grocery and set up shop right next to the Girl Scouts.

      • db

        Interesting; they have a “build a mixed pallet” option where you can fill a pallet order with multiple food types.

      • Penguin

        Yeah, that had me scratching my beard. I think I’d need a bigger place.

  18. ron73440

    On the Glibfit front, I did go for a run on the 24th of January. This was my first time running since the middle of November.

    I was happy that I was able to run 30 minutes without walking even though it was SLOW.

    Then whatever the wife caught got me, just not as bad, so I haven’t ran again.

    Going to go again tomorrow, looks like the weather won’t cooperate, so I’ll be on the treadmill, I really don’t like treadmills, usually I go on a trail through the woods.

    • Tundra

      Bundle up and hit the woods!

      Congrats on the run, too!

      • ron73440

        It’s supposed to be 30 tomorrow morning and raining afternoon.

        The gym will work.

    • UnCivilServant

      Bizarro Tank Man, maybe.

    • westernsloper

      FFS.

    • EvilSheldon

      That is truly disgusting.

    • rhywun

      Trucks are evil now.

      I wonder how they think the tofu and quinoa arrive at Whole Foods.

    • one true athena

      They’re all so desperate to be heroes in their own minds – whether it’s “fighting fascism” or pretending they’re tank man or they’re starring in some movie about MLK, or lately the “I am such a great person in society for complying with the pandemic restrictions!”.

      In aggregate, it’s all so fake and seems so desperate for some kind of meaning in such empty lives. And getting likes on twitter and tik tok, can’t forget the shallow need to go viral, either.

      • Q Continuum

        ^^^Close it down. She wins.

    • Penguin

      Yeah, except for the part where you know, you question a tyrannical government and then get disappeared and murdered.

  19. Gender Traitor

    OT – file under “too local” and/or “irrational pride”: I just managed to salvage a top I bought online a while back from a heretofore unknown vendor (in hindsight, a mistake) that arrived with the edges of ALL the hemmed openings – neckline, sleeves, and bottom edge – trimmed off. They hemmed them, but (I suspect) even while they were hemming them, they were cutting off the folded edges. (If they even noticed, someone probably said the Chinese equivalent of “Meh. Good enough.” Note to self: research country of origin more thoroughly in future and NEVER buy from this vendor again.)

    SO, I just sewed double-fold bias tape quilt binding (in a contrasting color) over all those raw edges. It’s not perfect, but at least the top is wearable now.

    • Tundra

      Pics?

      • Gender Traitor

        Here’s the “before” pic (or technically, “in progress,” as I didn’t think to take a picture until I’d done one of the sleeves and realized “This could really work!”) Hope you can see the raw edges of the neckline and sleeve. I’ll post the “after” pic when it comes out of the dryer.

      • Tundra

        Lol.

        Yeah, that’s impressively bad. Good on you for not just throwing it in the garbage!

    • Don escaped Texas

      crazy, uncorroborated hypothesis: maybe it was run through the serger by a left-handed idiot?

      I know there’s no room for the fabric on the wrong side of most sergers, but I can imagine a really big frame with a super long arm for various purposes that would let you do this

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I resemble that remark! (wife makes fun of me because the hem job on one of my pairs of jeans is uneven)

      • Gender Traitor

        it was run through the serger by an left-handed idiot?

        As a southpaw myself, I’m not inclined to cast aspersions on a sinister sister, but I do suspect it was a tragic serger accident.

    • Mojeaux

      Huzzah! A task completed satisfactorily!

    • Gender Traitor

      …and the “after” pic. This was definitely a “lesson learned” proposition, but I’m glad it wasn’t a total loss.

      • Mojeaux

        Very nice work.

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks! Now if I could just get unstuck on the most recent knitting project I started…

      • Fourscore

        I’m the Bill Belichek of sartorially correctness. Sort of indifferent as long as I’ve covered up the places no one wants to see.

        You done good, GT, looks great to me.

    • Ted S.

      Amazingly, nobody suggested you go topless.

  20. Tundra

    Chafed!

    I love me a little TS. Thanks for that!

    This is a fun one. I love to see the gyrations people are willing to endure for the sake of weight loss. What’s funny is that they will all work – particularly for people who are coming from the SAD. But the real challenge starts once the weight is off. Many diets that help you drop the weight are completely inappropriate for the rest of your life. I believe in keeping it simple:

    1) Eat enough protein (1 gram per pound of lean body mass – at the very least)
    2) See 1
    3) Limit carbs – unless you are an elite athlete (you aren’t)
    4) Limit dopey calories – especially in beverages
    5) Use fat to tweak
    6) Move

    It’s simple but really hard.

    Good week this week. Hit all my lifts, miles and even with a trip to Vegas managed to stay on track. I hate how good I feel when avoiding booze, however. Sets a dangerous precedent.

    Have a great week Glibfitters!

    • Chafed

      ?

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Also, anyone else who prefers Hydrox over Oreos. Just be prepped to buy 6 packs and wait a couple weeks.

    Speaking of which- there is a store/generic brand called “Crav’n” which has a LOT of overlap with Keebler cookie varieties. They have “sandwich cookies” in chocolate and blonde. Better than Oreos because not so sweet.

    The other varieties are good, too.

  22. Aloysious

    … flatulence is fun.

    Especially if you can blame it on the dude standing next to you.

    Failed diets: anything involving peach milkshakes. Or Huckleberry.

    • ron73440

      I blamed my son once.

      I had just come back from a six week field op, and MRE’s do a number on your digestive tract.

      We were in line at the PX and I couldn’t hold it anymore, luckily it was silent, but holy crap, it smelled.

      I was holding my son, he was about 2 at the time, I held him in front of me and asked him “What did you do?”

      I ducked out of line carrying him, all the while he was saying “I didn’t do anything”.

      Left the wife and our other kids in line.

      Good times.

      • DrOtto

        In college I let a loud one slip out in a crowded elevator. I hit my dorm neighbor and said “Jesus Loobie, we’re not the only ones in here.” He turned bright red and said “it wasn’t me.” His embarrassment suggested otherwise so he got the credit for it. I felt bad afterwards, but it was kind of funny in the moment.

    • Chafed

      Yay!

  23. grrizzly

    Wow. It’s a real news website–not satire.

    • Gustave Lytton ????

      ‘I cannot support people doing things like this. Im all for government reform but need to be peaceful’

      ? Yes, violent spray painting! Although I’d weigh it as 85% false flag at this point.

      • grrizzly

        in August 1991 when GKChP attempted a coup d’état it took just a single night for “Долой ГКЧП!” (Down with GKChP) graffiti to appear on multiple buildings in my home town. That cheered me up.

      • rhywun

        Huh, I was completely unaware of this.

        Then again I was a junior in college and kind of oblivious to anything going on in the outside world back then.

      • Gustave Lytton ????

        I remember that. Last gasp of the true blue Soviets.

  24. Q Continuum

    Also, if you want something that actually works and you’re adventurous:

    https://www.reliablerxpharmacy.com/topamac-50mg.html

    100% guaranteed to work. Weight will melt off. DON’T do keto at the same time, you could go into metabolic acidosis and die.

    Side effect list is about 2 miles long, some of the more interesting ones being: pleasureless orgasm, carbonated beverages will taste like dog shit, alcohol won’t make you feel drunk though the meds themselves can make you feel drunk, tingling in your feet and hands, inability to remember basic words, among others. However, if you want to lose weight quick with little to no effort, this will do the trick.

    • Sean

      Sounds awful.
      *chomps on bacon*

    • ron73440

      Think I would rather be fat, thanks for the suggestion though.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I was given that by a doctor for seizures and I took it for about six months. Food tastes like shit and yes, you’ll lose weight. It also shaves about twenty IQ points right off the top and causes trouble with word finding. I see the tingling is also mentioned and is very unpleasant. Zero stars out of five from me, that shit is the worst med I’ve ever had the misfortune of taking.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    This vandalism of the city’s newest public school — funded through the taxes of pro-and anti-mandate citizens alike — saw the phrases “respect the charter of rights,” as well as “freedom” painted on the exterior of the 2021-completed building.

    The only possible response is to bulldoze the school.

    For the children.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Yes, violent spray painting! Although I’d weigh it as 85% false flag at this point.

    Asking the government to obey the law is the moral equivalent of violent insurrection.

  27. JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

    Z kapusty brucho spustí.

  28. DEG

    Rebel News and CTV news are reporting Ottawa police are arresting folks for assisting the Trucker Convoy.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Saw some tweets a few minutes ago about folks being arrested for trying to incite fights or throw eggs or kick vehicles (counter protestors).

  29. rhywun

    LOL my electric company just showed a commercial claiming they are committed to “100% renewables!”.

    All the smiling customers were apparently filmed before they found out their electric bills will triple or quadruple.

    • DrOtto

      I love when people get on NextDoor to complain that they have to pay off newly installed solar panels in order to sell their house and seemed surprised by that caveat.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        Maybe Commifornias mandate about new homes having solar panels is a way to reduce residents fleeing Taxifornia for other states. If you are in debt up to your ass and cant pay off your solar, you cant flee!

  30. hayeksplosives

    Beef ravioli at Tower Pizza.

    No apologies.

    No stoicism.

    No discipline.

    Very happy.

  31. Gustave Lytton ????

    I wonder how long Google will keep the Chinese scam product ads going on YouTube? They’re quite distinctive in their formula. Same flow, same jumping stock clip art video, same non-native English wording and phrases (eldest child isn’t some position of responsibility here, dumbasses. Nor are people blessed with the gift of engineering.).

    • Chafed

      I don’t think I’ve seen these ads. What are they selling?

      • Gustave Lytton ????

        Grout pen, flashlight, drone, some other things I can’t remember.

  32. Festus

    Ugh. Sorry Mojo!

  33. Festus

    Makes my troubles pale in comparison.

    • Festus

      Blessings to your friend and to you.

  34. Festus

    Fecking fack! Still waiting on my needful from payroll. Still waiting on the info for the meeting tomorrow. I’m not gonna get paid for Sunday, am I? I used pretty colorful language whilst talking to corporate on Saturday. Fuck them.