Healthy As A Horse

by | Feb 15, 2022 | Drugs, Health Care, Products You Need | 229 comments

Last week I felt a little tickle in the back of my throat. We all know what that means! I updated my will, shared tearful goodbyes with my family and friends, and got out the stuff I’d previously procured for such an event.

In addition to zinc and quercetin was a syringe of DuraMectin (ivermectin) paste 1.87% “For oral use in horses only”:

In November I bought a six-pack for $50 via Amazon. As of this writing the asking price for a six-pack is $86. The Amazon listing:

https://www.amazon.com/Durvet-Duramectin-Equine-Wormer-Paste/dp/B01EP4TPNY

Has a blurb:

SAFETY ALERT: Animal products containing ivermectin SHOULD NOT be used in people. These products can cause serious health effects, including death. Ivermectin has not been shown to be a safe or effective way to prevent or treat COVID-19. If you are worried about COVID-19, please talk to your doctor.

Followed by a link entitled:

Learn more from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration

The link goes to an Amazon page advertising pet supplies. Those genuinely eager to partake of the FDA’s wisdom can go here:

https://www.fda.gov/consumers/consumer-updates/why-you-should-not-use-ivermectin-treat-or-prevent-covid-19

The executive summary of which is: “It’s dangerous, ineffective, and not approved for the new virus.”

After entering “covid-19 treatment protocol” into DuckDuckGo I had to scroll down to the third page of results to find what I was looking for: The Front Line COVID-19 Critical Care Protocols:

https://covid19criticalcare.com/covid-19-protocols/

Which state that the standard dose of ivermectin for people is the same as the dose listed on the DuraMectin box for horses: 0.2mg/kg. At the standard dose the DuraMectin syringe contains enough ivermectin to treat a 1250lb horse and the plunger has convenient markings for 250lb increments with a notch every 50lb. The syringe cap makes an excellent seal.

I did not follow the protocol. I don’t know how much I weigh but I’ll guess 180lb. For five consecutive days I pushed a 250lb dose of paste onto a spoon and licked it off. It’s not nice: Bitter with a horrible slimy mouth feel. On the other hand I did not get sick or die and the throat tickle didn’t turn into anything. I noticed no effect at all.

About The Author

Richard

Richard

229 Comments

  1. DEG

    On the other hand I did not get sick or die and the throat tickle didn’t turn into anything.

    Excellent.

    • Richard

      I am of course pleased with the result but a negative result doesn’t prove much. It’s possible that the stuff I bought via Amazon is counterfeit.

      • Tonio

        But have you stopped scooting your butt on the carpet, upholstery, etc?

      • Richard

        I live alone. I will continue to do as I please.

      • slumbrew

        That got a chuckle. Well played.

  2. Stinky Wizzleteats

    The true ivermectin connoisseur always buys the apple flavored paste. Tastes like a sour apple Now & Later you fished out of a ditch but way better than the unflavored stuff.

    • MikeS

      Alright…I’ll bite. Do they really make an apple flavored one?

      • rhywun

        Horses like apples, don’t they?

      • MikeS

        I know, but they like carrots and hay, too.

      • rhywun

        We should get to the core of the issue of horse taste.

        *reaches for grant application*

      • Fourscore

        Need some seed money? We’ll need to pare the costs though.

      • MikeS

        We’ll need some one with a good STEM education.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        If he reads this thread, I’d imagine Swissy would cyanide guess he’d narrow his gaze, too.

      • MikeS

        I thought about heading to TSC to peek, but was feeling lazy. Thank you for enacting my labor.

        Or did I enact your labor. Whatever.

        Now if we can get some caramel flavored quinine, we’ll be loving life.

    • Richard

      It does smell of apple. But it certainly doesn’t taste like it.

  3. MikeS

    HOLY SHIT JOE ROGAN IS A GLIB!!!

    • DEG

      Seriously? How did this come out?

      • DEG

        oh. Duh. you’re making a joke based on Rogan and Richard both using ivermectin.

        I think it’s time to get some sleep.

      • MikeS

        Haha. Sorry to get your hopes up, buddy.

      • Gadfly

        LOL. Imagine what a shit-storm would stir up if some famous person was outed as a commenter here. The average person, let alone the journalist class, is not ready for some of the articles that post here. It would be cancel-palooza.

      • Fourscore

        Is the Pope famous? Asking for a friend

  4. Richard

    I’m so relieved the article pic rendered OK. Somewhere along the line the aspect ratio changed from 9:16 to 10:16. My last article’s pic looked like crap.

    • MikeS

      Would you say it looked like horse shit?

      • Fourscore

        He said it looked like carp, clean your glasses.

      • Richard

        LOL again!

        But my first LOL is below this one. Threading is weird.

      • Zwak, holding the spinal column of JFK wrapped in Marilyn Monroes neglegie

        Dude, you need to pony up for a new keyboard.

  5. The Bearded Hobbit

    Some time back a close friend caught the Kung Flu and went to the doctor. The doctor told him, “There is something that will cure you but I’m not allowed to mention it.”

    “Not allowed” in a country that calls itself “free”.

    We bought some ivermectin from India, just in case.

    NOTE TO NSA: Or maybe we didn’t.

  6. db

    Removes Worms and Bots

    Make sure you take some before getting on Twitter

    • Richard

      LOL!

    • rhywun

      Yeah, I’m still wondering what that refers to.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Botfly larvae maybe? If you get the heebie jeebies easily do NOT do a search.

      • Count Potato

        Yes, bot flies.

      • juris imprudent

        Have to scrape the eggs of those little bastards off in late-summer/fall until the first frost.

  7. robc

    Why the fuck are pine nuts so expensive?

    • MikeS

      What do they taste like? I’ve considered buying them, but being the tight-ass I am I want to be damn sure I like them first.

      • Count Potato

        They have a nutty flavor. Helpful aren’t I?

        They are used to make pesto, and various deserts and cookies of Mediterranean origin.

        Italian pine nuts are expensive. Chinese pine nuts used to be comparatively inexpensive, but I haven’t looked lately.

      • robc

        Hard to say, as the Count said, “nutty”. I made a Mediterranean pasta and the recipe called for them, so I bought them. It was delicious, so maybe the pine nuts were the key?

        Anyway, plan to make some pesto with the remainder.

        Made it last night for V-day. Leftovers were still nummy for dinner tonight.

      • MikeS

        Yeah, I’ve been flirting with Mediterranean, and that’s what got me thinking about them. I’ll just have to buy a bag and go for it.

    • The Gunslinger

      Have you ever tried picking nuts out of a pine tree? It’s a prickly proposition.

      • MikeS

        Why are you needling him?

      • Fourscore

        “ever tried picking nuts out of a pine tree?”

        Picked drunks out of the gutter once, they were acting kind of crazy

      • Penguin

        Pine nuts probably smell better, and they have to be more useful in Mediterranean cooking.

    • Penguin

      Why the fuck are pine nuts so expensive?

      Wow. You’re not kidding. I bought some macadamias, and I think they were cheaper per ounce.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Pinon nuts are pine nuts (Pinon Pine) and they are available here in 50lb sacks from vendors beside the highway.

        Also, tip for Thanksgiving: Pinon nuts make a wonderful addition to turkey stuffing.

      • Penguin

        Hobbit: I got that from Amazon and some sites like this:

        Civil Eats has a great feature about the downfall of the American pine nut industry, a truly embarrassing and damaging loss given that the pinyon species in North America can produce nuts (seeds, technically) worth upwards of $40 per pound . The problem, reports Civil Eats, dates back to the 1950s, when the US Forestry Service and the Bureau of Land Management got together to divide up the public land in the Southwest into “forest” and “range” land.

        Source. Amazon.

      • Penguin

        Note – having said that, I remember when I first moved down to Florida. Drive a little bit outside the cities, and you could get huge sacks of oranges, limes, lemons, etc. for cheap at numerous roadside stands.

      • one true athena

        Are the trees producing again? I know the drought and infestation made the real NM ones hella expensive for a few years there. My parents said a lot of the NM places had to import pine nuts from, I think, Lebanon to sell them as “Pinon nuts”.

    • Zwak, holding the spinal column of JFK wrapped in Marilyn Monroes neglegie

      Because no one can a fjord the shipping.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        It took me a while…pining for the fjords

    • KSuellington

      Pine nuts are indeed massively expensive so as a result I make pesto from cashews or almonds which I can get from Costco for not insane amounts of money. They make a damn good pesto as well.

      • slumbrew

        I’ve done walnut pesto as well, which is pretty tasty.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Pistachios. Trust me. They’re even the correct colour.

    • Not Adahn

      Because pinons are scraggly little bastards but the nuts are delicious. One of the best parts of going to Philmont was eating them directly off the tree.

  8. DEG

    Kinda close to the topic at hand: Project Veritas Expose the FDA, part one

    Cole is an Executive Officer heading up the agency’s Countermeasures Initiatives, which plays a critical role in ensuring that drugs, vaccines, and other measures to counter infectious diseases and viruses are safe. He made the revelations on a hidden camera to an undercover Project Veritas reporter.

    Cole indicates that annual COVID-19 shots isn’t probable — but certain. When pushed on how he knows an annual shot will become policy, Cole states, “Just from everything I’ve heard, they [FDA] are not going to not approve it.”

    The footage, which is part one of a two-part series on the FDA, also contains soundbites from Cole about the financial incentives pharmaceutical companies like Pfizer have to get the vaccine approved for annual usage.

    “It’ll be recurring fountain of revenue,” Cole said in the hidden camera footage. “It might not be that much initially, but it’ll recurring — if they can — if they can get every person required at an annual vaccine, that is a recurring return of money going into their company.”

  9. commodious spittoon

    Got a text from a friend last Friday after hanging out the night before: he’d just tested positive for the vid, and wanted to let me know.

    So I called him up and made fun of him for being sick, then went home and proceeded to not get sick yet.

  10. Winston

    Turdeau Jr is pot-legalizing tyrant. How many libertarians expected that? Also he supports gay marriage, immigration and Nafta…

    • robc

      NAFTA is anti-libertarian as the libertarian position would be free trade without weird rules.

      • Richard

        I live in a town that borders Canada. NAFTA was great for local commerce until 9/11 when it instantly ceased to be. Trudeau Jr. has done nothing to change that.

      • rhywun

        My God when I worked supermarkets and hotels in Buffalo we had soooo many Canadian customers. That was just before NAFTA.

      • MikeS

        I have spent most of my life in, or near to, a US shopping destination city for Canadians from Winnipeg. Until COVID, the only thing that would slow -never stop- the invaders was when the Looney would start approaching parity to the US Dollar.

      • rhywun

        Yep, same in my case.

      • MikeS

        You probably saw this too… I remember a time or two when that (near parity) would happen, many businesses would start accepting it at par.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        When I was in college at Norf Dakoda State, we went the other way, because the drinking age in Canada was 19. We even got our Muslim academic advisor to drive for us sometimes.

      • MikeS

        No wonder you are a deplorable ‘Dogs fan. You went to a school without a hockey team.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        We’ll see after Fridee’s and Satdee’s games how deplorable the Bulldogs are!

      • rhywun

        Oh yes, the flow of American college students was definitely in the other direction. I remember it well….

      • MikeS

        That NoDak coach is doing good things in Dulloof.

      • creech

        Haven’t been to Canada lately, so maybe I’m confused. If I had 100 canadian today, I can get about 80 u.s. for it. So, if someone wanted to buy something in the u.s. that cost u.s.100, wouldn’t they be more likely to come here if loonie was closer to parity (i.e. get more for my loonies)?

      • MikeS

        Yes, you’re right. Maybe the anesthetic from earlier hasn’t worn off completely. The invaders would increase drastically when it started approaching parity. The times when it would slow down is when the Loony got very weak. And again, even then it never completely stopped.

      • creech

        Thanks, jeez, for a second I thought I had forgotten everything I learned back in Finance classes during the Van Buren administration.

      • Richard

        Even when the Loonie is weak the difference in state tax vs. PST and GST and the difference in gasoline prices kept them coming. It took vax passports to effectively shut down the border.

      • MikeS

        It took vax passports to effectively shut down the border.

        Yup. And it likely won’t end until a Republican president and/or the equivalent in Canada.

      • rhywun

        it likely won’t end until

        Watching some small round yellow sportsball and I’m wondering when the stupid-ass “fist bump” is going to end.

        Remember how tickled pink the submissive class was at the idea that shaking hands would die out?

        I hate those people.

      • MikeS

        Oh, gawd yes. Article after article about “the end of the handshake”. No doubt all written by dead-fish hand-shakers.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      He’s a double digit IQ sack of shit with a pretty face and a political pedigree and a penchant for authoritarianism. It’s not our fault he got a couple of things right.

      • robc

        See also, Jared Polis.

      • Winston

        His Dad (officially at least) legalized homosexuality, opposed ‘Nam, recognized the Chicoms and was a protectionist slithered who slobbeed over Castro and Mao.

        Both father and son are French-Canadians so they are diverse…

      • robc

        His Dad executed gays.

        I aint going with official accounts.

      • Winston

        His mom liked to sleep around so his real Dad being Castro is plausible. Turdeau Sr. Probably thought being cucked by Castro a badge of honor especially as a muddlefinger to the US.

    • robc

      Gay marriage is anti-libertarian, as the libertarian position is separation of marriage and state.

      Which means gay marriage is totes okay, but no state license.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      An underrated talent and great voice. I was a kid when that came out, never realized it was an anti war song.

  11. Winston

    https://www.aier.org/article/in-respectful-disagreement-with-alex-salter/

    An American company that exports engines to China might eventually also import from Canada machine parts that are made with components produced in China with the help of the American-made engines. The more frequently peoples of different countries trade with each other, the more they weave themselves together into a single, globe-spanning ‘fabric’ of civilization, and they thus move ever-closer to sharing a common culture.

    LOL. Well that common culture is a totalitarianism that Boudreaux has been complaining about for over two years. Whoops.

    • robc

      Are you some sort of fucking utilitarian? Fuck utilitarianism.

      • Ted S.

        No; he’s a fucking monomaniac.

        (Auto-correct wanted to change “monomaniac” to “nymphomaniac”.)

      • cyto

        In fairness, if “he” is not a nymphomaniac, “he” is doing it wrong.

        For some reason, “she” is different on this accord in many cases.

        I don’t really get it… If multiple orgasms was on the table… Well, dudes would be visiting the ER for abrasions and calluses all the freaking time.

      • Winston

        Boudreaux is one of those “free trade will civilze the world” types. He has something quite specific in mind when he speaks of “civilization”. Is he right?

        Also Turdeau Jr. Supports NAFTA but his Dad was opposed to it. Both Shitheads though.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Free trade *will* civilize the world, once it is ever applied.

    • juris imprudent

      While Alex is correct to note that cross-border trade doesn’t ensure against belligerence, it almost certainly does make such belligerence more costly and, hence, less likely. We abandon such trade at our peril.

      I suggest Boudreaux read up on German-Soviet relations, right up to 1941. It’s one thing to be wrong, it’s another to be stupidly wrong.

  12. blackjack

    Last week on Tuesday I got a monster headache. I took Wednesday off and had a headache then, too. Then, I got a sore throat and some minor sniffles. I went to a pop up tent test station and filled out the form and swabbed my nose. I felt fine by Friday and still hadn’t heard the results yet, so I went to Catalina Island with my wife and kid. My niece and her husband flew his plane down from up north and we had a good weekend. I got home and still no results. I called in Monday and got the little self test strips. They came out negative. I went back to work today. If I got a positive, I could use the special covid time, but since I am negative, it’s my own sick time. I think I might have gotten it if I had mainlined the secret sauce with the rest of them. They all got it. I’m the only decliner and the only one who hasn’t gotten ‘vid. Makes more sense than the government theories. Oh, and the tent people still haven’t given me my results. Bastards!

    • Richard

      I just read an article about fake testing stations that get your information and bill your insurance while doing nothing. Any reason to think they might not have been legit?

      • blackjack

        I strongly suspect this was one.

  13. hayeksplosives

    Canadian provinces that have decided to “ease” Covid restrictions: Alberta, Saskatchewan, Quebec, and Prince Edward Island.

    But Ontario clings on to the masking and vaccine passport requirements.

    Interestingly, the Ottawa police chief resigned after Trudeau decided to bring in the RCMP and some military help to break up the convoys.

    WTF is Canada doing??

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Spinning into the ditch it looks like. Maybe the Brits can come back and reannex them in the name of freedom. Give Quebec to the French maybe.

    • Winston

      Most of the mandates are provincial…

    • rhywun

      The Ontario premier was linked somewhere upthread (or maybe past-thread) saying basically it’s over. He literally said he knows lots of triple-jabbed people who still got the plague.

    • Spudalicious

      The Northern Territories still have mandates?

  14. Winston

    https://mobile.twitter.com/JustinTrudeau/status/1493687072510681090

    We’ll always defend the rights of Canadians to peaceful assembly and to freedom of expression. We’ll also do whatever is necessary to reinforce the principles, values, and institutions that keep all Canadians free – and that’s what we’re doing with the Emergencies Act.

    You are free to protest against his opponents and to praise him. Also he is a post-nationalist who thinks Canada is an ongoing genocidal state.

  15. Winston

    https://quillette.com/2022/02/15/a-eurasian-century/

    The specter of a Eurasian century represents an ominous new chapter in the liberal order. Ironically, it has found “useful idiots” among Western elites apparently determined to continue the rapid de-industrialization and de-moralization of their own societies. As post-nationalist corporate elites call for a “great reset,” high energy prices, and the headlong drive to “net zero,” production will continue to shift to China, powered by ever-more valuable Russian energy and German expertise.

    By 2060, when China will likely be looking to reduce its carbon footprint, much of the West may be little more than a vacation spot for rich Chinese and Russian oligarchs. The world will be shaped as it was under the Tsars, Hohenzollerns, or the Ming emperors, each of whom expanded their realms without notable liberal sensibilities. A more well-ordered world could be guaranteed through surveillance technologies that would have tickled the fancy of Hitler, Stalin, or Mao.

    Interesting that the “liberal world order” is increasingly leading to a Chinese authoritarian order. Or that our elites are determined to weaken the west yet they want another Cold War. How that supposed to work is unclear..

    • Winston

      The Tories were in power then so that was different…

  16. Gustave Lytton ????

    https://www.oregonlive.com/politics/2022/02/facing-threats-elections-workers-lobby-for-bill-that-would-increase-penalties-for-harassment.html

    Boo fucking hoo.

    Feeling a bit more grumpy than usual. Big blow up with the missus. Maybe the big one. Unrelated, doggo is having some problems, threw up twice and has an occasional cough. Vet isn’t finding anything immediately and wants to do follow on Xrays and/or dental exam/cleaning.

    I’d like to think it’s just some throat irritation but pretty sure it’s early/mid stages of CHF with the telltale cough. She’s almost 14 with a heart murmur and seems like it’s getting closer to making a decision, if not today. I don’t want to put her on drugs to try to extend a degenerative condition just because I don’t want to lose her (and I don’t but that’s the deal).

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      Sorry. Been through both recently.

    • juris imprudent

      I’m watching our 14 year-old dog, who had up to the last few months lived a nearly Dorian Gray existence, just as rapidly descend. I know he won’t be here a year from now, but whether that means next week or mid-summer, who knows.

      • rhywun

        It’s shocking how fast they slip away (cats and dogs), isn’t it?

      • Chafed

        Yes it is. I’d tell you my stories but I don’t want to start sobbing.

    • MikeS

      I don’t know if you’ve had to do this before, but we were sure we made the right decision when we brought Steele to his last vet visit. It didn’t make it any less sad, but we knew we did the right thing to end his suffering.

      Doesn’t matter what I say, you have to make that call. I’m thinking of you and your pooch. Hang in there.

      • Gustave Lytton ????

        Thank you. I don’t think we’re there yet, but having some guide lanes about what we want to do has helped us, even with today’s visit.

    • Zwak, holding the spinal column of JFK wrapped in Marilyn Monroes neglegie

      If you need someone to bullshit with this weekend, I was planning on coming down your way on Sat. Just let me know.

      I hope everything gets better.

      • Gustave Lytton ????

        Thank you for the kind offer, might take you up on it some time. Gonna try mending fences on my screwups first.

    • Mojeaux

      Our cat could barely breathe. She was 14, gasping for air, couldn’t jump on anything. Dr. Google said she had congestive heart failure. We took her to the vet who agreed it was likely, and then we buried her in the back yard. RIP Blackberry.

      She was the last cat left of 2 littermates (the other one died mysteriously in the grass 2 years before, or at least, that’s where we found her). The house without a kitty soul in it is just not a home. Couldn’t STAND it.

      So we went and got 2 more kitties (littermates) who are now 3 who act like a brother and sister: IOW, they hate each other.

      • Chafed

        I don’t think you buried your cat alive but….

      • Mojeaux

        i r a gud riter

      • Chafed

        Ya U R.

      • hayeksplosives

        Not exactly appropriate to laugh, but that was pretty funny.

    • Mojeaux

      And I am very sorry about your dog and your argument.

    • Chafed

      Sorry GL. That’s a rough spot to be in. I know you will do what’s best for your dog.

      Also, if your dog is weighing on your mind, don’t be surprised if that’s a factor in your marital woes. Ask me how I know.

      • Gustave Lytton ????

        Thank you. Might be part of an impetus, but there’s been other things simmering and things I screwed up.

    • Don escaped Texas

      Good luck dealing with that.

      I don’t know your situation, but I feel strongly that almost everyone errs on the long side of things to animals’ detriment. I’m not a hardass, but I’m more Calvinist about these things: the penalty of love is built into the situation from the beginning, it’s part of the bargain and the accounting, so I embrace the responsibility and move in a way that is shockingly fast for many; I’m not surprised, I don’t rationalize, and I don’t equivocate: I move.. I feel honor-bound to end unnecessary suffering as soon as possible; when symptoms arise in the plus/minus two standard deviations, I cut everyone’s losses….so, say, 10 years for a big dog or 14 for a small one and I don’t even blink. I truly believe that a year early is better than a month late, the hard objective conservative answer that is just in everyone’s best interest almost all of the time.

      A new puppy isn’t a trite solution, but that also is baked into the math for me. I’m going to have seven or eight dogs in this life, and I’m not reluctant to meet the next one (or save the next one from the pound, etc). Moving on is good: it helps me be kind to more animals over the long run.

      And I feel this way about my parents and myself: this thrashing against nature for an extra day of cable TV in a nursing home is terribly expensive in every way, seldom to any advantage. If someone wants to hang on for a birth or wedding, far be it from me to argue, and I wish them well. But I think we have too many choices today, and almost all but the obvious old answers tend to the cruel and the pointless.

      • Mojeaux

        ^^^This.

        I almost never tell people anymore that I will put my animals down when they suffer because I am seen as heartless. “Why didn’t you…” “Why couldn’t you have…” “Well, if it was just about money…” “Well, you could’ve…” “Yeah, but…”

        No buts. It’s about my pets’ quality of life and I’m not selfish enough to put them through the medical wringer.

      • Chafed

        I’m a bit, but only a bit, in the other direction. I don’t want my pet to suffer and quality of life matters. I need to know how bad it is and whether it’s treatable in a way that is humane. I have euthanized on the day of diagnosis and weeks later. Life is precious and I want to be sure.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Ditto. I’ve personally euthanized a pet when it was time and it was clear that the trip to the vet was going to be unpleasant for him. It’s not about the dying for me. On the other hand, we had a cat when I was a kid, and when she got sick and stopped eating my mom force fed her and nursed her back to health. That cat lasted another 6 or 7 years after that.

        For me it’s what’s the prognosis? What financial boundaries had we set (before they got sick or injured)? And then be decisive. $200 and the animal is good as new? Easy choice. $3500 and they get an extra 6 months of misery? Also an easy choice.

    • Gustave Lytton ????

      Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. Really means a lot to me to be able to unload here.

  17. MikeS

    So, I had two teeth pulled today. It was my first time under general anesthesia. Wow. I wholeheartedly recommend this. I mean, if I so much as get a pedicure, I am going to insist on GA. The last thing I remember was the nurse saying “I’m going to give you some medicine through your IV.”

    *poof*

    I am in a different room, looking at a different ceiling, and short two teeth.

    • kinnath

      I had a wisdom tooth removed. The dentist gave me nitrous oxide. He asked “how are you doing?”. I said “great”. He said “that’s what they all say about this time”. It’s the only thing I really remember from that time.

      • MikeS

        I’ve had 2 teeth pulled before, but only under local anesthetic. I don’t recall if I was stupid and declined anything more, or if just went to the wrong dentist. I’ve heard good things about N2O.

        Whatever they shot in my vein today was glorious. Out in a flash, woke up nearly clear-headed…I liked it. The girl in recovery next to me had a better/worse time. She asked repeatedly where her boyfriend was and alternated between crying and laughing. As the nurse stepped into my area after a weepy question about where Joe was, she asked how I was doing. I smiled and said “everyone reacts differently don’t they?” She laughed and said, “they sure do”.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I remember waking up from wrist surgery and being a bit disoriented. Didn’t help that this was at a children’s hospital and I was a 6 foot tall 14 year old on a child sized hospital bed. I desperately felt the need to sit up, and the nurse thought I was trying to get out of bed. It took a few iterations of squirm, “stop!”, mumble mumble before the words “I just need to sit up” came out of my mouth.

      • Penguin

        I remember waking up halfway through the surgery, with the oral surgeon yanking on one of my teeth, with what appeared to be plyers.

      • kinnath

        Ooh. Another memory. You know what it sounds like when you pull a nail out of a board with a claw hammer. Well, when the Dr grabs a wisdom tooth with pliers and pulls it out, it sounds just like that same thing except coming from inside your head. And you don’t care because NO2. And you think “that’s cool”.

      • Fourscore

        I had hand surgery, I was planning on staying awake and watching what was going on. I could see a walk clock and was going to see how long it took. One nurse took a phone call, told another one (maybe the anesthesiologist) “He’s on his way”. Sometime later, I vaguely remember the doc saying “Make a fist”. I guess I did and woke up back where my clothes were, whole thing was about 1/2 hour, half of that was waiting for the doc to come in. A year or two later had surgery on the other hand. Both went perfectly, minor surgery.

      • hayeksplosives

        When I had my wisdom teeth out, it was under general since they hadn’t “erupted” yet so it wasn’t a simple pull.

        Partway through the procedure, I saw a masked female face looking at me closely and sayin, “Doctor, she’s coming out of it!” Then back to bliss until the recovery area.

        To this day I require an unusually high amount of both local and general anesthetic to be effective.

        When I came out of an ankle surgery, the doctor and nurses were cracking up and said I had regaled them with some hilarious stories from the weapons testing field but kept falling asleep during them and then picking up right where I had left off again. I have no recollection of waking up and telling stories.

        I hope it wasn’t anything classified…

      • Mojeaux

        I had a car accident once and I was out of it. I remember asking them if I was lucid and the EMT said, “Sure.” Then I entertained the EMTs all the way to the hospital. I do not remember anything after “Sure.”

        And apparently my post-partum colonoscopy (conscious sedation) turned into a comedy routine.

        I fight nitrous (because I don’t want to embarrass myself in a manner that I will remember it), so I require a whole lot of it so they can get that needle up in my gums.

      • hayeksplosives

        I don’t like nitrous because I hate the feeling of suffocation. When the oral surgeon offered nitrous so that I would “relax” before the insertion of the IV for general anesthesia. I declined, explaining that I was an experienced blood donor and would rather have the needle and no gas.

        The best dentist I ever had used a machine that sensed pressure and more or less used a ST:TNG hypospray to inject the Novocain. It was great.

      • Mojeaux

        I don’t normally mind needles (although I am a very hard stick and cannot give blood at all), but the one that goes up there in your gums under your nose? Yeah, I’mma crawl back out of the chair if I see it coming.

    • rhywun

      It is a game changer.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      One fentanyl and propofol cocktail for MikeS.

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      Still searching for the Robert Schimmel standup:

      Dentist: You might feel a little prick.
      Schimmel: I ain’t falling for THAT one again, doc.



      Shimmel: So I’m blowing him – it’s not so bad on the gas!

      • slumbrew

        Schimmel was so damn funny.

        R.I.P.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        Excellent! Yes, he was funny and didn’t give a shit. Maybe cancer does that to you?

    • Mojeaux

      General anesthesia is da bomb.

    • UnCivilServant

      When I had my surgery I couldn’t even tell when I went under, because I regained cognition in the same spot. I just remember looking over at the clock and seeing some hours had passed and asking if we were done. Apparently we were.

  18. slumbrew

    Speaking of health issues:

    I just had kaleidoscope vision in one eye a couple of hours ago. I was feeling a little weird, as well. Went away after about 20 minutes.

    Might have been a migraine, but no pain. No weakness, so I don’t think it was a TIA.

    More than a little off-putting.

    A new, exciting thing to mention at my physical next week.

    • MikeS

      I’ve heard of pain-free migraines. Possibility?

      • slumbrew

        Yep, it’s a contender. “retinal migraines” are a thing, apparently.

    • creech

      Give it an hour or so and Q will be along with some NSFW stuff that’ll make both your eyes bug out.

    • hayeksplosives

      Scintillating scotoma?

      • slumbrew

        I don’t think so – just my left eye, just an arc of visual distortion that moved as I tried to focus on it – like a rainbow floater but much larger than normal. Apparent size didn’t change until it faded.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      It sounds similar to a condition that I’ve experienced for the past few years. Starts a a bright spot and quickly expands to (generally) a crescent shape. There is no pain and, in fact, the shape is kind of pretty. I generally put a shade over my eyes and rest for about 20 minutes. Fortunately I’ve never had one while driving, although it would be more of a distraction than a hazard. I asked my doctor about it and he called it “optical migraines”. I never experienced them until my motorcycle accident in 2017. Their occurrence seems to be tapering off over the years.

      • slumbrew

        That sounds very much like what I experienced and my google-fu points to optical/retinal migraine.

        I don’t think I need to panic & can just wait until next wednesday’s physical. Unless it occurs again, I suppose.

      • Zwak, holding the spinal column of JFK wrapped in Marilyn Monroes neglegie

        About six or so months before my MS diagnosis I lost the ability to track left/right with my right eye. I went away after about a month, but it turns out that was a sign of the MS gearing up.

        Get it checked out.

      • slumbrew

        MS was indeed mentioned; my primary is really, really good so I’m sure he’ll cover all the bases next week.

      • The Other Kevin

        I just had two of those this week. I’ve had them in the past but it had been a while. Mine are just like yours, no pain and over in about 20 minutes.

      • slumbrew

        You, me & Hobbit are clearly being targeted by the 5G towers.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        ChEmTrAiLs!!11!!!

      • slumbrew

        Obviously – the towers direct the chemtrails, based on targeting from HAARP.

      • slumbrew

        HE, your whole career is like something from Deus Ex.

        There is a BAE Systems campus down the road from my mom – they used to have the front of a fighter jet mounted on some sort of rig on the side of the building; no idea what it was for.

      • hayeksplosives

        Slumbrew that is a great conspiracy theory pic!! Lol!

      • hayeksplosives

        Slumbrew, my career has been an interesting ride, that’s for sure.

        Sometimes I think I’d do things differently if I did it over, but then I say “Nah, fuck it.”

      • MikeS
      • slumbrew

        Oy.

      • MikeS

        Yup

      • hayeksplosives

        That reminds me of the YouTube vid of a woman noticing that when she held out her garden hose with nice pure water flowing from it, she saw that the sun shining through it made rainbows.

        She asked suspiciously “What are they putting in the water?!?”

        Um, water? Pay attention in physics class.

      • slumbrew

        “What are they putting in the water?!?”

        *Kif sigh*

        I really want that person to be an outlier, but sometimes I despair and think that’s the baseline.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        These days, it’s more like “*Take* physics class.”

    • slumbrew

      Damn Republicans!

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        . . . and that nasty freedom thingy.

    • Urthona

      Apparently this literal screen capture got him banned from Twitter.

      • slumbrew

        WTF? Accurately quoting someone then quoting a newspaper story about that person gets you banned?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        It’s misinformation err… Umm…. Misleading… Uhh… Lies that happen to have veracity.

    • straffinrun

      He doesn’t like his enemies to be possibly armed. Not hypocritical if you look at it that way.

      • straffinrun

        Also, seems like (if you wanted to and I’m not endorsing this) it would be relatively easy to kill a public figure.

      • slumbrew

        For all the blather about crazy gun owners, there are surprisingly few shots taken at public figures.

      • R C Dean

        So far.

  19. straffinrun

    Imagine if the reason for masking children was for, say, preventing them from having sexual thoughts during school. In addition to the scores of articles decrying the puritanical tyranny, the corporate media talking heads would scour the data for even the most minuscule physical and psychological harms the mask would be causing. Motivated reasoning is a real bitch for humanity to deal with.

    • Zwak, holding the spinal column of JFK wrapped in Marilyn Monroes neglegie

      I don’t even think it would take that, sexy thing. All it would take would be if team red was the one pushing masks.

      Star bellied Sneech’s.

      • Chafed

        Jeebus, that is so on point.

  20. slumbrew

    Damn, P.J. O’Rourke died.

    “Parliament of Whores” did more to push me to libertarianism than anything else.

    • Chafed

      Yes, a real loss. I enjoyed his writing.

      OT: you have turned me into a Jabra fan. I bought earbuds, then headphones, and another pair of earbuds.

    • rhywun

      RIP

      But I can only take him in small doses; I don’t know if I can take an entire book of it. I suppose in book-length he might lay it on a little less thick?

      But yeah, I would like to read that.

    • hayeksplosives

      Parliament of Whores was my favorite, too.

      Unfortunately, in the last 5-10 years or so, he got off track. Suffered TDS enough that he actually endorsed Hillary.

      But I won’t throw the baby out with the bath water. I appreciate his good stuff.

    • UnCivilServant

      Let me guess they arrested the truck driver for attempted murder of a police officer then beat them senseless with batons.

    • slumbrew

      Was that wrong? Was I not supposed to do that?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Well then you can’t travel…or go to college…or if things get especially bad have a bank account. No coercion though.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Go ahead. Push this issue, see what happens.

    • rhywun

      “My guess is that most of the people who are loyal Zero Hedge followers naturally are inclined to mistrust the U.S. government anyway,” he said

      Ah, we come to the real problem.

      • robodruid

        Distrusting U.S. Govt (TM) is a thought crime.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They’re going to go after everyone who doesn’t carry water for the regime.

      They really don’t have a choice if they want to retain power. The stakes have gotten very high.

  21. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, homey, Stinky, Sean, and U!

      Ummmm……. two shoes?

      • UnCivilServant

        Morning, GT.

        In the office again. Still have to get used to commuting. At least I made it to my desk just fine.

      • Gender Traitor

        Hope you got the best parking place!

      • UnCivilServant

        I got the second best. The security guards had already started their shift before I arrived, so the best spot I’m eligable for was taken. Still, it’s not like it was the far end of the lot.

      • Tres Cool

        One of the geniuses last night made a bale of cardboad, only half of it was hanging off the pallet. Displaying my MENSA-level intellect, I tried to push it back on.
        Thats when something in my back made an un-holy noise. Im papered in lidocaine patches at the moment.
        God, I love getting old.

      • Gender Traitor

        ?

      • Ghostpatzer

        Thats when something in my back made an un-holy noise. Im papered in lidocaine patches at the moment. God, I love getting old.

        Much sympathy. *raises tall Covfefe*

      • Tres Cool

        Thanks. I think Im already on Standard-Size Cans™ #4. Pain relief ya know.

      • Festus

        That shit is below your pay grade, Baby-Head. Leave it to the serfs, people like me!

      • robodruid

        Good morning GT.
        Spring Cleaning is a thing. Have energy motivation to get stuff organized and fixed.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, ‘bodru!

        Spring??? It’s supposed to be warm but very windy today. Then rain tomorrow, and who knows what by Friday when the high temp drops 25 degrees.

        Go get ’em, tiger!

      • UnCivilServant

        Tomorrow it’s supposed to reach 59 here. But be frozen again by the end of the weekend.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Mornin’!

        Spring Cleaning is a thing

        Yup. Donating a bunch of stuff to the local vets organization, they come and take whatever you got. Where did all this shit stuff come from?

      • Festus

        I have an entire winter’s worth of empty cans stacked around me as I speak. That’s at least two trips to the recyclers and a long wait in line each time because people are dull and disorganized. I keep count. My bags contain precisely 150 each. The people down there love me. So many assholes never plan for the future.

  22. Festus

    Regarding poor Mike’s tooth extraction, getting blacked out is the bomb! They took all of my remainders (I’d yanked one with a pair of pliers when I was very, very drunk and the rest were crumbling. I needed help to get back to the car but still went into work the next morning. The next time that I underwent surgery, the nurse made a joke about forgetting to turn the gas on as she placed the mask over my face and I started laughing. That was the last thing that I remember but in recovery they told me that the first thing that I did when coming around was to start chuckling. The human mind is a wondrous thing. That sedation thing is magic. Question – if they can knock us out so efficiently, why all of the botched executions? They can pole-axe a big dog immediately.

    • UnCivilServant

      why all of the botched executions?

      A: It’s done by the government.

      B: Lawsuits by drug companies to prevent the use of their medications in executions.

      They really should just use nitrogen gas. Push all the oxygen and CO2 out of the chamber, body doesn’t react to nitrogen or the absense of oxygen (it’s the increase in CO2 that triggers the suffocation response). Doesn’t require really strict safety protocols since leaks won’t hurt anyone.

      • Festus

        I had an 80lb Lab and she went down like a stone. Done. I’m agnostic in my beliefs regarding state-sanctioned death but what we did to that dog seemed pretty humane. She was suffering and it was “don’t blink or you’ll miss it” quick. I wanna go that way.

  23. Fourscore

    Good morning. before its too late