“Gotta call one night, woman said to me, obviously not the same persuasion as I was politically, called me and said, ‘I’VE GOT A DEAD DOG ON MY LAWN!’ and I said, ‘Yes, ma’am,’ I said, ‘Have you called the county?’ and she said, ‘Yes! They’re not here!’ and I said, ‘Well, I’ll get ‘em in the morning,’ and she said ‘I want it removed NOW! I pay your salary!’ so I went over, I picked it up, and she said ‘I want it out of my front yard!’ and I put it on her doorstep.”
Joe froze for a second and wandered off the stage, turning right instead of left, and Strawberry had to run across the dais before he could begin to mingle with the members of the captive press.
“It’s back this way, Mr. President,” she said.
Joe tried to turn and staggered into her. She wrapped her arm around his and kept him upright.
“What, is it back this way?” he asked, stiff-legged and tremor-ridden.
“Yes, sir. Right this way,” Jen said. When reporters began to photograph them and their slow progress, Jen glared until they stopped. She watched them until it at least looked like they were deleting the digital files.
“You know you told the dead dog story again,” she said quietly.
“What? It’s funny,” Joe insisted. “Dead dogs are funny.”
“Most Americans don’t feel that way, sir,” Jen replied.
“How, how, how’s that thing in Canada going?” Joe asked.
“Very good, sir! You remembered most of a current event.” Jen pulled a treat out of her pocket and surreptitiously popped it into his mouth.
“Yummy,” he said, chewing, drooling a bit.
“The trucker protest in Ottawa is not going well. Prime Minister Trudeau has enacted emergency wartime powers to deal with them.”
“I wish I had wartime powers,” Joe said, bringing his hands together as if he was firing a Tommy gun, nearly jerking Jen off her feet and saying, “Rat-tat-tat! Die, Chinaman!”
“That’s nice, sir,” she said.
Joe poked a finger right into her Spanx-stiffened mid-section, “You need to lighten up, honeypie.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Does Canada need our help? We could send a carrier group, Top Gun, pew-pew, bomb BOOM!”
“No, sir,” Jen said as they did a Sorkin stroll back to the Oval Office. “That would probably only make things worse.”
“It’s a coop! A damn coop, I tells ya.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Which of these doors is the White bathroom? I need to take a shit.”
WATCH: President Biden says he placed a dead dog on a woman's doorstep when he was a county council member. pic.twitter.com/ypjwVpMGzK
— Breaking911 (@Breaking911) February 15, 2022
coop
like a chicken coop?
A coop dee tat!
And a rat a tat tat to you, too!
A coop day mine!
Did Biden drive over to her house in a Subaru? ‘Cause that’s the vibe I get from him…
“I wish I had wartime powers,” Joe said, bringing his hands together as if he was firing a Tommy gun, nearly jerking Jen off her feet and saying, “Rat-tat-tat! Die, Chinaman!”
And Putin blinked.
Great as usual mister free.
Good lord, that’s real. I can’t decide if it makes your job easier or tougher.
“Very good, sir! You remembered most of a current event.” Jen pulled a treat out of her pocket and surreptitiously popped it into his mouth.
Perfect. And probably true.
He’s got a better inside view than the Secret Service!
That’s funny, SF, and because it’s so close to accurate I can believe it totally. We’ve seen Joe’s attempts at hurrying to get to/away from a microphone
Thanks again, you are a friend of humanity.
A damn coop, I tells ya.
With chickens coming home to roost!
Joe: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Strawberry: I don’t know.
Joe: If it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.
“Which of these doors is the White bathroom? I need to take a shit.”
and many others….
His old-timey folksy racism is why they find him charming.
OT: from the deadthread
The fundamental science is uncontroversial, and can be demonstrated in a lab
This is so fucking sleazy and contributes heavily to the beclowning of scientific journalism.
You can demonstrate that heat rises in a lab. Hell, you can demonstrate that heat rises in a hot air balloon. Take that hot air balloon up to 25,000 feet and talk to me about heat rising.
“Oh, but there are other mechanisms at play and the atmosphere is a complex system. You can’t just apply some basic concept to a dynamic system and expect it to play out like some lab simulacrum.”
???
But, but, but – I made a model!
I read that in Ralphie’s voice.
!&*^#!(*&^%!!!
This one chaps my ass. It’s the scientific method for retards.
Ever since James Hansen came out thirty years ago with his dire predictions, it’s been one failed theory and prediction after another. All of them based on vastly simplified linear models and shitty assumptions. Any data that doesn’t fit the narrative is simply ignored.
Even if what they’re saying is partially true, they’ve undermined their credibility to the point that they have no hope of convincing anyone in the future.
The same goes for the public health establishment.
Sounds like a certain Kansas “compliance officer”
He murdered two of them not more than 10 blocks from our old Wichita house.
FYI: “coop” is not a typo.
Oh no, we got it.
I will admit I didn’t pick up on the capitalization of White until OBE’s comment.
What?
*rereads entire episode*
More Biden clips of him talking about when he worked for, uh…, that colored guy.
Trudeau and his Finance Minister meeting with his boss. Getting orders to seize protesters’ bank accounts and destroy their lives.
Gotta love the replies saying it’s great to freeze accounts of people the posters don’t like.
People who lack the foresight to see where this all ends up are going to be the death of us all. I’m surprised they can manage to go to the toilet without help.
She says banks may now seize accounts without a warrant.
Country of laws.
RIght. And they make the laws.
In another case of “this will never be used against me“.
Biden rejects Trump’s attempt to shield White House visitor logs, including for day of January 6 attack
I suppose Biden will pass before he ever needs to claim executive privilege.
Anyone believe that, if the GOP wins enough seats in November, they will follow through on threats to impeach Biden?
They’ll wuss out with the we’re better than them bullshit that’s served them so well.
They love to claim the high ground as all the ground around it is eroded away by their opponents.
That and Biden is part of the club. They won’t go after him.
Impeach for what….senility?
I’m not suggesting there’s cause, just that there have been threats to do so.
Possibly go after Hunter. If they can connect Hunter’s dealings with Joe they might have something. Of I thoroughly believe Joe would throw Hunter under the Bus if he had to.
1) Clearly the entire media and state establishment is willing to run as much interference as needed for Hunter. No one in any law enforcement wing could hope to investigate him or his father’s connections to shady dealings without getting shut down by a higher ranked apparatchik.
2) You don’t need to through Hunter under a bus since he’s regularly found passed out under them.
Hunter does not hold government office, therefore cannot be impeached. Yes, they can have hearings, hold investigations, and refer the matter to DOJ for prosecution.
Calling Ukraine on the telephone. Duh.
Bombing Canada
Someone is feeling optimistic.
If bombing Canadians is a high crime or misdemeanor, we should have locked up more of the Illinois Air National Guard…
I know you are no fan of hate birds, but setting up claymores at a nesting site might be going too far.
I’d just use an F-16.
Front towards
enemyhate birds.I’d just use an F-16.
Dayum
“Canada Goose” hasn’t been used as a fighter name yet, has it?
Wow, pilots being held responsible? None of the pilots involved in Green Ramp were touched. The AF did discipline three airmen though.
Depends on whether or not they want to win the white house in 2024.
Do you think that a republican driven impeachment of Biden would go for or against the Democrats? I can see arguments either way. I guess it depends on just how much independents want to see the political warfare settle down.
Exactly
For.
I think it’s a bad move. Impeachments are nothing more than a desperate political move by one party.
They should be common, but undertaken for good reason, rather than rare and spectacular. It is a major tool in the toolbox of representative democracy but relegated to the status of the stone hand-axe.
I think I could come up with a valid reason to impeach every US President, except maybe WH Harrison.
Impeachments are nothing more than a desperate political move by one party.
And they’ll continue to be used as a bludgeon until turned back on that one party.
IMO, optics don’t matter on this in the same way they used to. The GOP is going to massively turn off their base if they go back to business as usual, and may completely destroy turnout for 2024 if they don’t come off as being aggressive. Over half the country sees this admin as illegitimate, corrupt, despotic, or a combination thereof. The GOP will have widespread support for an impeachment hearing over Ukraine. Probably could get broad support for a second one over media/CDC/pharma collusion being orchestrated from the WH.
These are not normal times. Governing as if everything is going to return to normal when the adults are back in charge strikes me as… naive.
I agree that if the GOP doesn’t get aggressive they will lose their base badly. I’m not a Republican but I know a number of people personally who identify as Republicans who want to see them stand up for what they claim to be representing. If the GOP doesn’t do that, many, many people will walk away in disgust.
The GOP is doing the right thing. Letting the left destroy themselves without interference. They do need to start talking up more as the election nears.
Everybody knows you do the shady shit outside of the White House and away from government compliance rules. Ask Hillary, she knows the deal.
“Like, with a cloth?”
Do you get much more Millennial than this?
Wordle fans call out ‘villain’ NY Times for ‘trolling millennials’ with hard words
I caught the Jeopardy College Tournament yesterday. The girl from Duke was a really impressive combination of confidence and ignorance.
a really impressive combination of confidence and ignorance
Pretty sure that’s been the case with college students since time immemorial.
at least the dude from Yale & the girl from CMU indicated when they were unsure of their answer – Ms. Duke just confidently stated her (completely wrong) answer and then looked surprised and annoyed when she was wrong.
On a whim, I tried this:
https://twitter.com/search?q=jeopardy+duke
(sorry, RC & assorted Glib-law types)
Looks like a low rent AOC
(sorry, RC & assorted Glib-law types)
Eh, you’re not telling us anything new, we had to sit in class with them for 3 years.
She actually missed out on final jeopardy because she had negative points.
(Still got $10k for getting there, so she’s got that going for her)
Was it the Duke porn star?
Not so much
TBF, she’s better looking than that shot – that body-language, though…
If they’re going to make it difficult, they need to at least hand out participation emojis for trying. Wouldn’t want them to get depressed and discouraged in the face of adversity.
Heh.
The one that pissed them off recently was “caulk”.
Something I’m sure you’ve never touched… 😉
I actually got that in two guesses. I had a good first guess.
Are you kidding? He touches it every night.
This is why we can’t have nice things.
Because we’re laughing our asses off and accidentally knock the nice shit off the table?
Like on the Zoom?
Caulk?
Really?
I say turn HM loose on them. Our semi-resident wordcel sends me to the dictionary on a regular basis.
I’m sure you known more about caulk than I do
You don’t touch caulk. Gets your hands all sticky.
It does a great job plugging up holes though
Worldle is way harder (if you don’t use Google maps)
That was fun! I was using the globe in my office to help out, but it turns out that some of the borders have moved since the 1950s
Imagine the scene in Close Encounters of the Third Kind where they grab the large globe out of the county supervisor’s office and roll it down the hall now. Just that brief scene conveys the excitement and urgency of the research they’re doing. Today, someone would go on his phone and look up the coordinates and there would be no drama at all, except there would be exciting music and some sort of computer clicking sound effects in the background. They’d do the scene, it would mean nothing, and they’d pat themselves on the back for the CGI.
Oh, BTW, for some stupid reason they used a set of coordinates that is nowhere near Devil’s Tower. I remember looking that up back in the mid 1980s when I first saw the movie as an elementary school student.
Much more fun
Got it in 5
The distance thing helps…
yep! At first I didn’t realize what the arrow meant–was I off in that direction, or was the target in that direction. Then I read the instructions.
Another Map Challenge
Did Biden drive over to her house in a Subaru? ‘Cause that’s the vibe I get from him…
Back then it would have been a Chevrolet Vega station wagon.
Incontrovertible, documentary proof that the alt-right is a Russian conspiracy:
https://pepelangelo.com/
I’ve been looking for something to spruce up my place. This looks like just the ticket. I actually don’t even get the meme, but I have a brother in law that would flip his shit walking into my house if these were on the walls. Hilariously, I’m 100% certain he doesn’t get the meme either.
They’re back.
YAS
https://twitter.com/DefiantLs/status/1493620333903032326
He may have trouble topping this one.
Like all gun grabbers, he was heavily projecting his own overwhelming desire to shoot someone.
Was the complained about tweet deleted?
Not that I can see. Still see BLM dude and the Clinton one…those were to the contenders.
There was one of Castreau talking about the nobility of dissent. Can’t find that one
It was there…but others have made that connection
The Bee, stinging.
Oh shit, even better.
https://people.com/style/linda-evangelista-shares-first-photos-of-her-body-since-fat-freezing-nightmare-people-exclusive/
Yikes. That’s messed up.
Didn’t need the crotch shot, clothed or not.
Maybe you didn’t need it, but someone, somewhere is groovin on it.
Paging Tres Cool, Tres Cool to the white courtesy phone.
Needs more FUPA.
I want to GUNT that I can see the sweat percolating out of.
So… maybe instead of trying to take a shortcut go for diet and exercise?
What are you, a racist?
Probably, and you could probably add sexist, misogynist, ableist, and a couple other -ists as well for taking such an evil stance.
Spanx-stiffened mid-section,
SugarFree knows a bit too much.
I found that mildly arousing.
https://www.rebelnews.com/liberals_ban_kids_from_anti_government_convoy_protests
OK, so your right to petition your government via in person protest is now contingent upon your status as a parent.
Like Canadians have rights.
Never mind the right of almost-voters to express their opinions.
So… move the protest to the schools?
exxxxcellent.
*steeple fingers*
Yeah that is a good idea…go after the parents.
Don’t get out of the boat
The human remains of a swimmer were located Wednesday off a beach in Sydney, Australia, after a shark attack that resulted in “catastrophic injuries.”
It was the first fatal shark attack in Sydney since 1963, news outlets reported.
“Footage clearly shows a body, half a body being taken by a shark,” police said over a scanner, according to News.com.au. The report said authorities were called to Buchan Point, Malabar, at about 4:35 p.m. and found half of a wetsuit.
The beach was crowded at the time of the attack and some witnesses recalled seeing a 14-foot great white shark attacking the unidentified swimmer.
“We heard yelling and turned around it looked like a car had landed in the water, a big splash then the shark was chomping at the body and there was blood everywhere,” one witness told 9 News, according to the report.
Was the shark properly masked and vaxxed?
I can’t top the first reply.
“Instant pharma”
https://twitter.com/holmenkollin/status/1493566363054583808
I shouldn’t be amused by that clip, should I?
I hadn’t seen that video of the comedienne collapsing on stage before. I had heard about it but didn’t watch. Wow, she went down hard, lucky she didn’t get a concussion.
So have these on-air sudden collapses happened in the past years and we didn’t publicize them or is this a 1 year increase due to not the vaccine at all?
It’s a good question. How common are on-air collapses? I can see people who are under pressure to look good on camera trying to power through a hypoglycemic event or being very dehydrated, etc., and just collapsing when their bodies give out.
Is there just more emphasis on this kind of thing now?
Hey. If they can play the anecdotal evidence game, so can the rest of us.
How many “SHE WAS 29 AND ABOUT TO GET MARRIED AND ALMOST DIED FROM COVID” stories have we had?
Not mentioned was that she was 27 stone.
Wow, she went down hard, lucky she didn’t get a concussion.
IIRC, she fractured her skull.
ow. I’d guess that comes with a free side of concussion in most cases.
It’s unfathomable that Joe thought telling that dog story was a good idea.
He’s the great healer we need to unite the country now…
What an ass. Always has been one; senility is not the cause of his being a dick.
He highlighted what he thinks politicians should be to the ‘people’. Thugs, through and through.
That was the most surreal part of the 2020 election: the selling of a guy who’s always been known an an arrogant, egotistical asshole as some kind of lovable, caring grandpa figure. And some people actually bought it.
Fap fap fap
The bigger picture is stark. The West’s megadrought is the region’s worst in at least 1,200 years, according to a study published Monday, and researchers said the human-caused climate crisis has made the megadrought 72% worse.
Western water experts echoed the concern that the term “drought” may be insufficient to capture the region’s current hydrology. “Aridification” might be more accurate, said Eric Kuhn, a retired former manager of the Colorado River Water Conservation District.
“Are these temporary conditions? We don’t know; the science is suggesting they’re not,” Kuhn said. “It puts Reclamation in a tough situation, because they’re learning how to deal with a changing climate. Operating these systems under deep uncertainty is not what they were designed for.”
Nothing like a little apocalypse porn to get the nethers quivering.
Liars. It’s 72.3849% worse.
Stop understating the problem.
He highlighted what he thinks politicians should be to the ‘people’. Thugs, through and through.
Public “service” means different things to different people.
Whenever a “public official” talkes about service, I’m reminded of this bit from The Grapes of Wrath:
“When I was a kid my ol’ man give me a haltered heifer an’ says take her down an git her serviced. An’ the fella says, I done it, an’ ever’ time since then when I hear a business man talkin’ about service, I wonder who’s gettin’ screwed.”
I’m at the Las Vegas airport now. For the first time, the agent at security called out that we didn’t need to show a boarding pass, just our ID.
Knowing that it’s necessary to be on a flight to get through security, I figured that meant the government has created a database of all commercial travelers, where they are originating and where they are going.
An internet search shows an article from 2020:
What are the odds that the government deletes those records once the day’s travel has passed? I’m guessing 0%.
I really , really hope that Air Travel Alliance picks up speed and becomes a thing.
An amusing caveat: holders of Colorado state IDs still have to show their boarding passes because their DMV messed up the paperwork and thus do not qualify for the new program yet.
Nope. I was through LAS last week. It’s working now, but apparently sometimes the fucking things don’t scan.
You were through there and didn’t say hi? WTF Tundra…W.T.F
Sorry, OBE. I was there for 24 hours for a trade show and meetings.
You’re in Henderson, correct?
Yeah but you know..FAA…work at the airport. Its all good!
Shit, I didn’t even think about that. Can I push some buttons and talk to the pilots next time?
In normal times I would have been able to swing that.
Can I push some buttons and talk to the pilots next time?
Yes, but you have to sit on OBE’s lap to do so.
It’ll be good times. Just like the Breaking Bad episode “ABQ.”
Hmm. Still might.
In the before times (just before 9/11), my (hot) co-worker was invited to sit in the cockpit during landing of her Lufthansa flight.
We teased her for years that she was sitting on the pilot’s lap.
Did she engage the autopilot?
Probably
https://twitter.com/RebelNewsOnline/status/1494040760089468928
She is my PILF of 2022
She’s correct.
This is entirely about Trudeau saving his own hide. He doesn’t give a shit about anyone else.
Politician I’d Like to Fuck?
Hell, even I’d give her a back rub.
😀
Wouldn’t that be an MPILF in Canada?
She’s probably one of the few exceptions, but what’s been eye opening and rage reducing is how the Conservative Party in Canada and the National Republican Party haven’t vigorously fought against these mandates when they first came out. Even if we didn’t know much about COVID two years ago, it was obvious that the state and federal governments were overreaching. But then again, Conservatives and Republicans are only good at conserving their power and never increasing liberty like they are suppose to.
She really takes the wrinkles out of my love-sausage.
Redesign of the Canadian flag:
https://preview.redd.it/r04yh5xz72i81.png?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=6085b174e920dd50660cfd61dce44e11a1e385c4
Not once in that “mega drought!” article is population growth in the southwest mentioned.
Weird, right?
Huge populations in areas without the resources to support them? Perfectly natural, nothing strange at all, no unusual risks, nope.
Or the complete lack of resource planning. Or pouring all your water away into the sea instead of saving it in drought years.
Or allowing every state above you take the majority of the water off a natural river.
Yes, and ‘Muh Salmon!’
Quite simply, the next time someone other than the taxpayers of a jurisdiction funds the conduct of an election – there should be some summary executions.
https://delcopa.gov/publicrelations/releases/2020/safeelectionsgrant.html
https://thefederalist.com/2022/02/15/exclusive-systemic-voting-issues-in-pennsylvania-county-even-more-extensive-than-previously-known/
Some of that has to felonies (recreating the drives). But any charges pending? Yeah, thats the problem.
I sincerely hope that this will lead to a reform of PA election laws similar to Florida’s correction of a multitude of issues after the 2000 election debacle there.
A glimmer of hope.
So, it’s strange, I was so busy with the meetings filling up my entire schedule, I didn’t have time to be stressed.
My most stressful days are the slow ones.
^^^ If I don’t have 1000 things on my plate I am a wreck. I need chaos to command
What an absolute fucking asshole.
https://twitter.com/TPostMillennial/status/1494043412785512453
He’s the perfect example of a Leftist. He doesn’t care to understand anyone’s opposition to his mandates and anyone who does are racist, sexist, or whatever slur they have ready for you.
I’m probably going to say this fairly often, but I’m getting really sick of all the lazy accusations of racism from such people, not just because they are untrue, but because there has been so much crying wolf now that actual “great replacement” conspiracy theorist wackjob midwit sociopath identarian morons are really having a whale of a time and have probably even convinced themselves that they’re not even racist because the term has been so watered down and abused.
The man’s a one trick pony, that’s for sure. What a douche.
How in the blue fuck did that fool ever get elected to anything? He’s obviously a dim bulb. His pandering is ham-fisted and obvious. He has no accomplishments of any kind beyond getting himself elected to office.
It’s a fucking mystery, ain’t it?
Figures. He really is a Vorta.
Why wouldn’t they include video of her response to him? She should have been able to shred him after that
I laughed.
I, too, despise people who don’t return carts.
I laughed but that is how you get shot once you start putting things on my property
Totally. But when the guy threatened to kick his ass:
“Sir, no you won’t. Look at yourself!”
Gold.
It was funny
I agree. There’s no way Id get a complete stranger that wound-up. Hard telling what he may have in that car.
Also, it seems entirely scripted.
They address that and claim it is genuine.
“Sir no you won’t, just look at yourself”
😀
Kinda funny. Is it supposed to be satire? People who think they can go around policing people’s behavior like that are waaaaay worse than the people who don’t return their carts.