About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

129 Comments

  1. dbleagle

    So many good lines, but “It’s pretty sad that the country was doing better when you were helping to run it.” stands out.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I like Bobble Trump,

      • MikeS

        The crown is a nice touch.

      • Fourscore

        Apropos and believable

        Support Gordilocks for Assistant King, everyone can vote, it’s the numbers and not the citizenship

    • Lackadaisical

      Agreed.

  2. Yusef drives a Kia

    Excellent!

  3. MikeS

    Go Gordilocks! Here! Here!

    I hope Hat kung-fu’s the shit our of Castro’s son.

  4. Count Potato

    *applause*

  5. Tundra

    Subscribe and see these before the rest of the Glibs!

    So, so fucking good! Thanks, CPRM!

    • Fourscore

      Good stuff, CPRM, Current Events before they happen

    • Trigger Hippie

      *whistles by*

  6. westernsloper

    HA!

  7. The Gunslinger

    Love it!

  8. Tonio

    Awesome, CPRM.

  9. Gordilocks

    It’s been a long time since I’ve posted, so sorry to have neglected this place for so long.

    I’m a very sad trucker today, seeing what this tyrant Trudeau has unleashed on my tribe and my homeland.

    Yet The Glibs rally – they do not forgive, they do not forget.

    Thank you so much

    • CPRM

      Thank you for your service.

    • The Hyperbole

      You’re doing gods work Gordo, keep on keeping on.

    • Animal

      Come to the Zoom!

      • CPRM
      • Gordilocks

        Can’t make it tonight but if there was another this week or next weekend sometime I’d be happy to oblige.

      • Animal

        There’s one tomorrow!

      • CPRM

        One every wednesday, friday and saturday. Different hosts some nights. link is posted in afternoon links usually.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I don’t think being spied on by the CCP would be in his best interest right now.

    • MikeS

      Keep up the good fight, Gord!

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Keep fighting the good fight, brother. Let us know if we can help in any way.

    • db

      Tactics need to change now to strike and fade…don’t be in one place too long.

    • Tonio

      As much as I hate to agree with Hyperbole…

      • rhywun

        *lolsnort*

      • Ted S.

        You don’t have to agree with him yet.

        I’m God, and whether Gordi is doing My work is still a matter of debate…. 😉

    • Trigger Hippie

      Gordi!

      You and I never really spoke much or at all before you ventured off into real life but many of us here are very proud of you. I won’t tell you if you should or how to fight back, just be sure to know that we here appreciate you doing what probably most of us, including myself, would have never done in the first place.

      • Tonio

        ^Fanboi

      • Trigger Hippie

        At the moment, ya. I liked the dude after listening to those old trucker podcast interviews. Now he’s actually doing shit we all mostly just bluster about.

        I’m signing off for the evening. I’m glad you all can catch up with and old friend.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        TH is good people.

      • Trigger Hippie

        *Colombo turn*

        Oh, one last thing. Can we get a round of applause for CPRM for bringing Master Shake in for a cameo and Gordi back to the comments section in back to back week’s?

        Starting to get some pull, yo.

        Now I’ll fuck off.

      • Tonio

        [golf clap]

      • Tulip

        Enthusiastic applause!

    • Sensei

      Keep on… truckin!

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Heard ya, eh. Not worthy!

    • Tundra

      Love you man.

      No homo.

      • Count Potato

        Well, not according to Jimbo 😉

      • Tundra

        Ever seen him?

        Very striking. Just sayin’.

    • Count Potato

      No, thank you!

      God bless you.

    • Sean

      Hold the line, Gord!

      God bless you and the rest of the protesters on your efforts.

  10. Swiss Servator

    Hey, how can THE HAT steer?!

    • Animal

      If you have to ask, you really don’t want to know.

    • rhywun

      Easy, just shift his weight left and right.

      • Swiss Servator

        *squints suspiciously*

    • rhywun

      personnel in close proximity to playing surfaces

      Except, you know, the players. Just the help.

  11. db

    Great work on this CPRM. I think it’s your best yet.

    • MikeS

      Ass
      Grass
      Gas

      • Spudalicious

        Nobody rides for free.

    • commodious spittoon

      The amount of voluntary masking still going on in stores… I mean, it’s only been a few days, I’m not sure it’s fair to call it Stockholm, but fer chrissake.

      Maybe they’re all terminally ill and protecting themselves. That’s a happy thought.

  12. rhywun

    O M G

    It’s over.

    Watching live tennis again… and for the first time in two years I just saw both players shake hands with the umpire at the end of the match.

    • Count Potato

      You cannot be serious!

      • Ted S.

        [threatens to shove fucking ball down Count Potato’s fucking throat]

      • MikeS

        No shit! Why would anyone watch tennis?

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Of course it’s over: Midterms are coming.

  13. LCDR_Fish

    I remember it got appalling reviews on initial release. Have subsequent updates made it worth playing? I’ve never looked into it because of the negative initial press.

    They’ve been patching it quite a bit. From my understanding it’s now a solid game, even if some of the grandiose promises never came to be. I give the devs credit for continuing to patch and update the game to get it closer to what they wanted on release.

    Great coverage. Very funny (kinda long) video. “Engoodening of No Man’s Sky”

  14. LCDR_Fish

    Random post-work thoughts again….as far as looking at jobs that may or may not fit the locations I hope to move towards…..something that has been on my radar before, but haven’t looked at as much since I left active duty…railroad work. Turns out there are apparently quite a few conductor -> engineer openings are all the private rail companies right now. Granted the initial salary would be a bit of a step down…potentially could climb back to parity pretty quickly with overtime, etc. (definitely after promotion)…Looking pretty appealing when I think about something I can do where I am right now AND something I could probably transfer into if moving cross-country.

    • rhywun

      I would love to know what his numbers are.

      I guess there is a market for a morning version of Maddow or Lemon but it’s got to be down from his heyday.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Bruce Bawer was a pretty good writer. I have the “While Europe Slept” book – some interesting insights from a gay man on muslim immigration to Europe. He’d enjoy Carolla I think.

    • commodious spittoon

      O&A may be gone, but at least they’re not Stern. Anthony went out doing what he loved… being a racist. And Opie, untethered from his rocket-to-stardom sidekick, just went out like a bitch.

      The Jim and Sam show is ear cancer. Jim is a natural sidekick, not center ring material. Sam I want to noogie with both fists while a large black gentleman pins his arms.

      • commodious spittoon

        And the Artie Lange stint on Compound Media was pretty good, except for the fucking Lenny Dykstra story Artie would tell EVERY GOD DAMN EPISODE it felt like.

        There’s some good coming out of Compound, but Ant… Ant is not great, rudderless. As much as I hate Opie, Ant needed to be the rear commander (HEYOOOOOO) or at the very least needs a straight man. Opie is a wet turd of an entertainer, but he provided structure, and when he wasn’t obsessed with piloting the ship, and let the funny men do their thing, the show was golden.

        You know who I miss? Dennis Miller. He ended his podcast and went AWOL.

        What were we talking about?

      • LCDR_Fish

        Carolla’s got a show nearly every day….not even counting his ones with Dr Drew or Mark Geragos.

      • slumbrew

        He is prolific. I used to listen to Carolla daily, in the before times, when I would walk the dog by myself in the afternoons. With the wife working from home, that has really fallen off.

        I get some shows in – he seems much happier, post-divorce. Unsurprisingly.

      • Drake

        And and Gavin together work pretty well.

      • slumbrew

        I ended up down a wiki-hole, looking at Dennis.

        This is his future wife in this video (TW: Teds’ worthy)

        Nicely done, Dennis.

      • slumbrew

        Legit LOL

        “Is it common knowledge that the Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears video has a monkey with a Red Sox jersey? ”

        That wasn’t a monkey, and this isn’t a music video. This is in fact just footage of Bobby Valentine attempting to manage the 2012 team.

        It’s funny ’cause it’s true.

      • Chipwooder

        And, to tie in with your firet comment, Miller used to use “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” as the theme music to his old HBO show.

      • slumbrew

        ISTR that Roland Orzabal was “difficult” but he wrote some great songs.

      • slumbrew

        Heh, ‘gobbling the DJ to “Too Shy”‘ is just at great turn of phrase.

      • slumbrew

        “You will let me know if I’m getting in the way”

        😀

    • Chafed

      Ouch. How the mighty have fallen.

    • rhywun

      I… wow.

    • Chipwooder

      Someone pointed out something I missed – since it references July 2021, I thought it was an old tweet that had aged poorly with what’s going on today.

      Not the case – they wrote that YESTERDAY

  15. Brochettaward

    I’m…too sexy for this First….too sexy for this First…So sexy that it hurts…

    Too sexy for Milan
    New York, and Japan
    And I’m too sexy to be second
    Too sexy to be second
    No way I’m coming in second

    • commodious spittoon

      Are you the Lia Thomas of firsting?

      • slumbrew

        Shots fired!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Dood! Perfect!
        /never on topic, never a reference, bad firsting

  16. commodious spittoon

    The King’s Man is pretty boring so far.

    Colin Firth is so goddamn likeable. And whoever played Eggsy was a believable fish out of water, but charming, replacement.

    So far I don’t know who to root for except all of these characters I hate on the principle that this movie is trading on the title and delivers none of the terrific performances, not to mention the solid based storyline of the original film.

    • commodious spittoon

      Actually, hold up. If this movie produces a Once Upon A Time in Hollywood sequence in which the principles murder Woodrow Wilson in a ghastly, viscerally upsetting, but entirely deserved scene, it’s my film of all time.

      • commodious spittoon

        I should have been a writer. I should have been somewhat else than I am.

        The torpedo scene is pretty godddmn good.

      • commodious spittoon

        I hate this movie. It’s not so much confounding expectations as it’s just disappointing.

      • commodious spittoon

        The Zimmerman telegraph

        ffs

      • commodious spittoon

        Woodrow Wilson gets beat upon by the ghost of Adolf Hitler and all his many generals.

        And all the italians, and their nobody generals

        And literally just anyone from 1910 onward

        WOODROW WILSON IS THE GREATEST VILLAIN

        we all know that, thanks

    • commodious spittoon

      All those mice. Your cat’s not doing its job.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Look, he’s running a podcast and a Kittah porn channel at the same time, he needs more than one mouse.
        Gotta pay for that catnip habit, I won’t.

      • commodious spittoon

        You get a good MMO mouse, you never regret it. My mouse, it has twelve buttons on the side. All the spells I have to cast when I’m playing World of Warcraft, they’re all there. It’s terrific.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I spent 6 years on that game, i know my keyboard shortcuts well, all custom, all cool af, buttons are for……

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        And Otis doesn’t play online, he is a Larper, he identifies as human,

      • commodious spittoon

        I don’t know what that means

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I can tell,

      • commodious spittoon

        YOU can’t tell, I can’t tell

    • hayeksplosives

      Hold on to your buts….

  17. nw

    The hell. We go out for a drink and you abandon the zoom?
    On a friday? Not even bar-time in god’s own timezone?

    • Chafed

      Wut?

      • nw

        We were on zoom a bit earlier.
        We went out for a drink.
        Usually the zoom goes a bit longer, but seemed
        to be closed when we got back.

  18. Festus

    I’ve not been commenting on what is happening in Ottawa because I am not in the right frame of mind. I watched a few video clips and that, plus my employment turmoil over the last few months led to a monstrous nosebleed that lasted 4 hours. There are reasons that Judi and her daughter go to those rallies every Saturday and reasons why I choose to stay home. I prefer my wife’s cooking.

    • Tulip

      That’s scary Festus. I hope you don’t get another

  19. Festus

    That was good work, CPRM!

  20. hayeksplosives

    Nicely done, CPRM.

    The Hair is right about things being better with the Hat.

    I do think the Donald needs to step away from a 2024 run though.

  21. hayeksplosives

    President Joe Biden tweeted on Friday night that he hoped war could be averted between Russia and Ukraine. ‘We’re calling out Russia’s plans. Not because we want a conflict, but because we are doing everything in our power to remove any reason Russia may give to justify invading Ukraine.’

    This mitherfucker is determined to start a war. And I don’t mean Putin.

    • Festus

      Wag (oops, trip over) the dog. They are so transparent.

      • hayeksplosives

        I was just listening to Mark Steyn’s latest podcast intro, in which he references whatever the heck Biden administration is doing over in Ukraine as “Operation Enduring Cockup.”

        Lol.

        Hopefully cooler heads prevail with no further bloodshed.

      • Festus

        Headless chickens running about and the bank just foreclosed on the farm.

  22. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody yo

    • Sean

      Mornin.

    • Fourscore

      Morning TC, not daylight in the swamp just yet but it’s a-comin’

      Mornin’ to all, another great wakeup

  23. Sean

    Another great episode, CPRM. ?

    • Ted S.

      Yeah, I had to gas up yesterday and it was $3.799 a gallon, which was about 10 cents more than last week, maybe 15.