Wednesday Afternoon Sugarlinks – Jump Up and Down

by | Feb 2, 2022 | Daily Links | 275 comments

Raggedy Hasbeen Desperately Seeks Last Hit of Relevance

Sharon Stone was critical of Joe Rogan amid the ongoing controversy surrounding the spread of COVID-19 misinformation, and Spotify’s decision to add a warning to all podcasts on its platform discussing the ongoing virus.

Stone, 63, spoke Tuesday in Beverly Hills, California with TMZ, where she was asked about the ongoing developments over Rogan and his podcast, which drew attention last month after rock icon Neil Young pulled his music from the platform in protest of Rogan’s content in regards to the pandemic.

Rogan, 54, garnered controversy after a December 31 podcast of The Joe Rogan Experience in which he chat with Dr. Robert Malone, an anti-vaccine proponent who was previously banned from Twitter over the spread of COVID misinformation.

Previously banned from Twitter? Does anyone know where she can get some organic torches and ethically-grown pitchforks?

Of anything, I find COVID is finally letting out the grumpy bastard inside that I always barely contained.


 

What if We Blotted Out the Sun to Fight Global Warming?


A Man Chopped Off His Penis With Scissors in a Fit of Cannabis-Induced Psychosis, Doctors Say

A man in Thailand’s bong session went disastrously wrong, according to his doctors. In a new case report, they describe how he “completely amputated his penis” using scissors, apparently due to a rare episode of cannabis-induced psychosis. Though the man’s delusional symptoms faded after being admitted to the hospital and his injuries were treated, doctors weren’t able to reattach the lost appendage.

The bizarre injury was detailed in a paper published over the weekend in the Journal of Medical Case Reports by doctors from Chiang Mai University in Thailand.

The 23-year-old man had reportedly been a regular cannabis user for the past two years but had stopped for the preceding three months. He then got back into his habit by smoking two bongs of cannabis, equivalent to two grams worth, according to the paper. Two hours later, he began to experience an unwanted erection, along with a severe and persistent sharp pain in his penis; he also reported that his glans (the tip of the penis) looked “distorted” to him. In an attempt to stop the pain, he decided to grab a pair of scissors and to “trim the penile skin several times.” Eventually, he severed his penis clean off, leaving behind an inch-long stump.

Unsurprisingly, the home surgery caused the man to bleed out. He was admitted to the hospital two hours after the amputation and immediately treated with antibiotics and a tetanus booster. Emergency surgery stopped the man’s bleeding and cleaned his wounds, while he underwent a procedure to create a new opening so he could still urinate through his urethra. Unfortunately, though the penis was recovered, it was deemed too dirty and fragile to be reconstructed and reattached. By the time doctors saw the man, his amputated member had even been left crawling with ants (Yes, there are pictures of the penis and stump in the paper, but I wouldn’t recommend viewing them if you have a weak stomach).


 

 

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

275 Comments

  1. The Bearded Hobbit

    See!!

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        Evil.

      • slumbrew

        Speak

      • Ownbestenemy

        Softly

      • DEG

        Slutty

      • db

        Teachers

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        “I don’t feel tardy!”

      • Ownbestenemy

        But I’m ready to party!

  2. Shpip

    A man in Thailand’s bong session went disastrously wrong, according to his doctors. In a new case report, they describe how he “completely amputated his penis” using scissors, apparently due to a rare episode of cannabis-induced psychosis.

    Can he swim fast? I hear there’s an Ivy League school with an opening on their team.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I can honestly say that smoking pot has never given me the urge to cut off my junk.

      • slumbrew

        Not yet, anyway.

    • R.J.

      *Golf clap

  3. kinnath

    Stone — that’s not so bad for 63yo broad.

    • Sean

      She’s not even wearing a mask!

      She’s clearly a science denier.

  4. juris imprudent

    Shades of Kathleen Turner [shudder].

    • ron73440

      Turner in The Man With Two Brains is better than any Stone.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I don’t know, Romancing the Stone was top notch.

      • Ted S.

        You laugh, but wait until you hear the rest of the story.

        I think I’ve mentioned this story from the documentary Electric Boogaloo before, but when Cannon was setting out to make King Solomon’s Mines in the mid-80s, producer Menahem Golan told his underlings, “Get me that ‘Stone’ woman!”. So they did the obvious thing and signed a young Sharon Stone, who was apparently not well-loved on the set.

        It turned out that when Golan mentioned “that ‘Stone’ woman”, he really meant the recently-released movie Romancing the Stone, and wanted Kathleen Turner cast. Such are the vagaries on which careers rise and fall.

      • Fatty Bolger

        I saw King Solomon’s Mines in the theater when it came out. I don’t remember much about it, but I do remember it was when I first realized Richard Chamberlain was gay.

    • Mojeaux

      Once upon a time, I coveted her voice.

      Now…not so much.

      • kinnath

        I’m not really bad. I’m just drawn that way.

  5. Fourscore

    Glad I never partook of the Debil’s Week. Crazy stuff

    • Fourscore

      Weed during the Devil’s Week

  6. Sean

    I could have done without the penis story. Yikes.

    • Lackadaisical

      Yeah, that was worse than Joemala.

  7. kinnath

    Getting 404 on the bloomberg article.

    As for blotting out the sun, volcanoes do that on occasion. We know how that works out.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      So you’re saying I should start building my train now.

  8. SDF-7

    Re: Sharon Stone — why anyone cares what someone who pretends to be someone else for a living thinks is beyond me. I really don’t get the whole phenomenon.

    Bloomberg link didn’t work for me so didn’t read the article — but like oh, messing with the immune system — geo-engineering is something we should be rather careful about. Especially if it isn’t something we can back out easily (like spraying aerosols in the stratosphere or something). Probably be a lot easier to… oh, I don’t know… build more nuclear plants or something.

    Sorry that the man had a dirty, dirty penis. Such a shame. I imagine he was really fit to be Thai’d after that.

    And yeah — Heart of Glass is a great one.

    Have a good afternoon, glibberati!

    • Fourscore

      His porn movie future is gonna be short.

      • SDF-7

        Porn Director: “CUT!…. What, too soon?”

  9. The Other Kevin

    “‘COVID is not an opinion-based situation,’ said Stone, who has lost relatives to the virus”
    Another alleged adult who doesn’t know the difference between fact and opinion.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Too bad they don’t apply SOMEBODY DIED to our multitude of wars with quite as much fervor.

      And quite frankly, I don’t give a flying fuck about Stone’s relatives. I take care of my own and I manage to do it without demanding compliance from everyone else.

  10. Ownbestenemy

    This Rogan/Spotify/Young menagerie is going to be a boon for old has-beens and nobodies that people have so forgotten they need to drag their LPs down from the attic or break out their VHS machines. It will be like when Grandpa regaled his days in the army.

    • Fourscore

      Hold on there, Young Fella, When I was …

    • Shpip

      This just in: The Starlight Vocal Band, Jim Messina, and the Carpenters have all made a play for continued pop culture relevance by demanding that Spotify quit playing their music.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I mentioned the other day, the protest started and stopped with Young. Now it is all PR and attempts to ride it back to relevancy for all these people. For them, their names on any lips are a drug.

      • Bobarian LMD

        This was my favorite.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Thanks for that

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        HA!

      • Gender Traitor

        THAT COMMERCIAL DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! When that stupid chick singer finally waltzes on stage, all she does is open her mouth as if she’s singing a nonstop “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

        “Side effects may include forgetting the lyrics of all the songs you wrote and have been singing every night since the beginning of your twenty-city tour.”

      • Spudalicious

        Yeah, but she’s still hot.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        She’s not singing… That’s her “oops, I shit myself” face.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      This might be temporary, but it’s also a boon to some guy whose podcast is to just talk about Rogan’s podcast. On Apple podcasts this guy currently has the #10 show.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Its like he’s Seinfeld…so meta

      • R.J.

        I wish I had thought of that. What a gig. Maybe I should start the podcast that talks about the guy who talks about Rogan.

      • Ownbestenemy

        A show about a show that talks about a show….where is my weed that has bullshit sprinkled on top of it

      • slumbrew
      • B.P.

        If this podcaster went on Joe Rogan’s podcast, would there be some sort of metaphysical disruption?

      • limey

        No but yes at the same time

    • Zwak, holding the spinal column of JFK wrapped in Marilyn Monroes neglegie

      I think we need to know, what does the Strawberry Alarm Clock think about Rogan?

      • juris imprudent

        Ha – wouldn’t you know, I’ve hung out with their drummer. Very cool dude.

      • Not Adahn

        Did he smell of incense and peppermints?

      • rhywun

        I love that song.

  11. Rebel Scum

    Spotify’s decision to add a warning to all podcasts on its platform discussing the ongoing virus.

    Someone should put a warning for when you uncross your legs.

  12. Rebel Scum

    What if We Blotted Out the Sun to Fight Global Warming?

    404. But Bill Gates has been pushing that.

  13. B.P.

    “Of anything, I find COVID is finally letting out the grumpy bastard inside that I always barely contained.”

    I too find it hard to mask my contempt when I’m out in public these days.

  14. DEG

    A man in Thailand’s bong session went disastrously wrong, according to his doctors. In a new case report, they describe how he “completely amputated his penis” using scissors, apparently due to a rare episode of cannabis-induced psychosis. Though the man’s delusional symptoms faded after being admitted to the hospital and his injuries were treated, doctors weren’t able to reattach the lost appendage.

    “Cannabis-induced psychosis”? Hmm… I smell bullshit.

    • Ownbestenemy

      He might just have had bullshit sprinkled on his cannabis.

      • Lackadaisical

        That was my first thought, but better to go with that than be executed for having hard drugs or whatever the punishment is over there.

    • C. Anacreon

      At his age I’m guessing new-onset schizophrenia, the symptoms of which might have been exacerbated somewhat by the MJ, but it was the schizophrenia that caused that severe psychosis, not marijuana by itself. Ever.

      • limey

        Isn’t that just as bad?

  15. kinnath

    I have been telling people for a decade that nuclear winter is the solution to AGW. Just pick a target and kill two birds with one nuke.

    • Don escaped Texas

      Fugi, Tambora, or Krakatoa could, in a wink, send the sincerest tree hugger running to lay in 100 cords

      • Ghostpatzer

        Yellowstone caldera would like a word.

      • Don escaped Texas

        this is like the chicken and pig deal: the chicken is interested in your breakfast…the pig is invested in your breakfast

        Yellowstone wouldn’t scare any treehuggers: it would melt them

        sometimes we need a little R-squared to keep things fun

    • Zwak, holding the spinal column of JFK wrapped in Marilyn Monroes neglegie

      Your thinking? I like it.

      Your newsletter? I want it.

  16. DEG

    Quebec City trucker convoy

    With tensions in Quebec City rising, faced with the prospect of a disruptive trucker convoy , Premier François Legault and the rest of the political class are making a pitch for calm and order.

    And Quebec’s Tourism Minister, Caroline Proulx, says the industry has taken a big enough hit with the COVID-19 pandemic. The last thing events like the Quebec City Carnaval — which opens Friday — needs now is to be disrupted by a protest movement.

    “I am putting my confidence in the police,” Legault said as he headed into daily question period at the legislature. “I am thinking of the Quebec (City) police, the mayor of Quebec, maybe with the help of the SQ (Sûreté du Québec).

    “The rules have to be respected.”

    Saying they want to show solidarity with truckers blocking downtown Ottawa, there are reports convoys are being formed in the Beauce, Rouyn, Gaspésie and Saguenay, with plans to join outspoken union leader Bernard (Rambo) Gauthier in Quebec City.

    • Sean

      There’s some rumblings about bringing in the military to break up the protest.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        To do what, blow up the trucks?

      • The Other Kevin

        That’ll clear up the roads.

      • juris imprudent

        Just like it did that whale on the beach.

      • ron73440

        That is one of the greatest videos I have ever seen.

      • juris imprudent

        Just never gets old, does it?

      • Sean

        * This was for Ottawa.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Right, that’s even less threatening.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        “Hey dere friends, do you mind-a movin’ those big ol’ rigs dere? I’d hate to hav’ta get oot the ol’ boomstick and chase ya off, eh?”

      • Ownbestenemy

        In my fantasy world, the military would roll in, break out in a spontaneous game of hockey and brews and then continue the now protest to blockade.

    • Rebel Scum

      “The rules have to be respected.”

      Sorey. But you could you please leave us alone, eh?

      • Ted S.

        If the government told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Only if it protects me from covid.

  17. Rebel Scum

    In an attempt to stop the pain, he decided to grab a pair of scissors and to “trim the penile skin several times.” Eventually, he severed his penis clean off, leaving behind an inch-long stump.

    This is a bit too sensitive to snark on.

    • R.J.

      I see what you did there

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I’m just glans I didn’t click the link by accident

      • limey

        I too had the foreskin to realise that clicking that one might be a bad idea

    • Shpip

      I could only give the article a quick glans before I had to look away.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I have a feeling this is just the tip of the iceberg to this story.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        Definitely a hairy situation

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Don’t cut it short, go for the whole enchilada.

      • The Other Kevin

        I want to come up with a clever pun but I’m stumped.

    • Spudalicious

      Dick move on his part.

    • Zwak, holding the spinal column of JFK wrapped in Marilyn Monroes neglegie

      I would never have the balls to do this.

      • mindyourbusiness

        Had to be out of his mind; nobody’d do a thing like that on prepuce.

  18. DEG

    Missouri governor’s health director pick resigns

    An alliance of Missouri citizens, activists, and politicians stopped the confirmation of the director of Missouri’s Department of Health and Senior Services, this week.Among the loudest opponents were Bev Ehlen, Missouri State Director of Concerned Women for America, who found allies in Missouri Senators Mike Moon, Bill Eigel, and Bob Onder.

    Later in the article:

    The opposition to Kauerauf came from a history of comments his opponents say revealed his preference for coercing citizens into following health measures, by making their lives difficult if they didn’t.

    Kauerauf is a dogged supporter of masking adults and children alike. And he had made clear his desire to see significantly more Missourians receive a Covid vaccine. About 54% of Missouri’s population is considered “fully vaccinated.”

    Kauerauf has also said he opposed vaccine mandates. But he was unabashed in his support of government programs that made life difficult for people who opted not to receive the Covid shots.

    ~sugar fairy

    • ron73440

      On topic, since you SF’d the link.

    • ron73440

      Good for them, I think.

      Anyone who gets protested by what St. Louis Public Radio calls Anti-vaxxers, is probably asshoe.

    • Lackadaisical

      ‘Just one more nudge and those rubes will do what’s best for them.’

      Sounds like a good outcome. ?

  19. DEG

    Quebec scraps unvaccinated tax

    The Canadian province of Quebec is scrapping a plan that would make adults who refuse COVID-19 vaccines pay a special health contribution, premier Francois Legault announced on Tuesday, saying the idea is too divisive.

    Legault unveiled the proposed measure last month, saying those who chose to avoid inoculations should help cover the extra costs imposed on the health system by the coronavirus. Experts said the idea would go against the spirit of Canada’s universal public health system.

    Legault said he was worried about the divisions that COVID-19 and measures introduced to fight it had caused in Quebec, the second most populous of the 10 provinces.

    • juris imprudent

      Somebody high up has some un-vaxxed relatives.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Would they even have to worry about taxes if they were high up? Nah, I say throwing what they probably know are bullshit edicts out in hopes to just makes them go away.

  20. JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

    I’m sure glad that Stone backed up her argument with a long list of examples of Rogan’s dangerous information. Oh yeah, she didn’t, just like all the other complainers.

    The penis link calls out for some King Missile. https://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4

    • Jerms

      I heard Rogans response today and I gotta say Im pretty disappointed in him. If you dont mind having a warning on your show, thats fine, but he was way too apologetic for someone who hasnt done anything wrong. Now the narrative is that he was forced to apologize for misinformation.

    • limey

      I remember that. Eh.

  21. Rebel Scum

    Meta is assho.

    Facebook shut down the rapidly-growing Facebook page “Convoy to DC 2022” on Tuesday night after the group had amassed 139,000 followers in just two days. They have since formed a new group.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Some people enjoy mayo on their hotdogs. I don’t judge.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Would?

    • R.J.

      The customer paid extra for that.

    • SDF-7

      Said customer was Anthony Weiner, of course…

      • juris imprudent

        Would’ve worked with Bill Clinton too.

    • Shpip

      The unverified video circulating online appears to catch a woman carrying out a revolting act with a frankfurter.
      Some tomato ketchup is added to the hot dog ready to be served.

      They got that part right.

      • slumbrew

        I’ve tried to be less judgmental about other people’s food choices as I get older – de gustibus and all that.

        But adults eating ketchup on hotdogs is right out.

      • ron73440

        But adults eating ketchup on hotdogs is right out.

        FTFY

      • The Hyperbole

        This^^ although as with wearing baseball caps I will make an exception if you actually at a baseball game.

    • Rebel Scum

      Some people like the new ketchup brand ‘Crimson Tide’ from ‘Aunt Flow, Inc.’.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      So many euphemisms, so little time

    • Gdragon

      “This guy asked for his ‘Down the Hallway’, anyone know how to make that?”

  22. SugarFree

    Bloomberg article now works.

    • Sean

      ORLY?

      • SugarFree

        Dammit, McFuckFace!

        OK, finally working. It would be fine after putting the URL in again, and then broke again when I updated the page. Short little shitheel Michael is to blame, I’m sure of it!

      • Sean

        LOL.

        It does work now, but paywalled.

  23. grrizzly

    Israel to Scrap COVID Green Pass for Most Entertainment Venues From Sunday

    Israel’s coronavirus cabinet decided to abolish its so-called green passport program for most places of entertainment, including hotels, restaurants, gyms and movie theaters, effectively removing barriers to entry for the unvaccinated.

    The new policy will come into effect on Sunday, and will leave the proof of vaccination in place for events “with significantly greater risk of infection,” such as weddings and parties.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      leave the proof of vaccination in place for events “with significantly greater risk of infection,” such as weddings and parties.

      As an introvert, these terms are almost acceptable.

    • ron73440

      “with significantly greater risk of infection,” such as weddings and parties.

      Is there evidence for this or is it pulled from their asses like most COVID “facts”?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Their evidence all goes back to alcohol..seriously.

      • ron73440

        That’s why when I went to Gettysburg in Nov 2020, all the bars had to close at 10 and you had to order food with alcohol.

        It wasn’t a law, just a governor mandate, but all the businesses complied.

        Got in an argument with my mother when I called it anti-science BS.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yep. Arbitrary and capricious

      • juris imprudent

        Sadly, most people wouldn’t know science if it burned their bunsen.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        it’s not like you can have a wedding or party outdoors.

  24. Rebel Scum

    I assume it will still be prime time tv.

    Scoop: McCarthy told members of Republican leadership at an ELC meeting today that Pelosi told him she was instituting a 25-member attendance cap for Biden’s State of the Union address, two sources in the room told @axios

    • Lackadaisical

      That has to be actually unprecedented.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Meh, just write the SOTU and send it off to Congress.

      • juris imprudent

        As was tradition up to the scumbag Wilson.

      • ron73440

        scumbag Wilson.

        My wife used to listen to Glenn Beck.

        I don’t agree with him about everything, but he hates Wilson as much as I do.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Beck is willing to grow and change and admit mistakes.

        I have far more respect for him than those like Hannity.

      • Ted S.

        For many years the President just gave a written report on the state of the union to Congress.

        If memory serves, it was that shitstain Wilson who changed it.

      • Lackadaisical

        I meant limiting attendance. I do agree with having them just give a written statement, but that’s right up there with rainbow farting unicorns in the realm of possibility.

      • juris imprudent

        Hmm, the only way for our two assessments of Wilson to coincide would be for him to be a discarded condom in a gay bath-house. I can work with that.

      • C. Anacreon

        The Thai scissors guy can attend, because now he won’t count against the limit on members.

      • Aloysious

        (●’◡’●)

  25. B.P.

    Today in “all risk assessment from now on will be modeled on the reaction to COVID”:

    It snowed maybe 5 inches overnight in Denver (the news is reporting more, but that’s not what I’m seeing). As a result, schools and government shut down.

    Move back to wherever you came from already, pussies.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I give us 5 years on our current trajectory before Public Health Priests proclaim life is too risky and prescribe kool-aid to every American.

    • slumbrew

      Snow in Denver is unprecedented. They couldn’t possibly be prepared for such a thing.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      This trend has been happening for a decade plus. I remember having classes cancelled at college twice in one year (ca. 2006). Previously, classes had been canceled for snow exactly once.

      One was worth the cancellation. Storm dumped a foot of snow on top of an inch of ice. The city buses were sliding around when they werent stuck in place. How did I know? They cancelled class, but not the job fair.

      However, that one broke the seal. After that, canceling for snow/bad weather became more commonplace.

      Three things seem to be at play. First, career oriented parents bitched about the 5am dance of watching the scrolling bar on the TV for cancellations. They wanted a firm answer the night before. Second, our culture’s risk/discomfort tolerance, especially for kids, is way out of wack. Third, the technology exists to go remote.

    • Don escaped Texas

      snowed maybe 5 inches

      We’ll get just enough rain to freeze overnight to fuck everything skywide and handsome. I live on one island in the Mississippi and work on another, so I’ve got to get up the bluff and then slide back down it for both commutes tomorrow. I could easily canoe to work in an hour on smooth water, but a 15mph headwind coming home would be brutal.

    • Nephilium

      We’re being warned about Winter Storm Landon, expected to drop 12-18 inches on us by end of day tomorrow. Or what used to be called winter.

      The fact it got up into the 40’s yesterday and today and has been raining all day will make it suck.

  26. Rebel Scum

    Something something cabal of pedophile elites.

    Professor Stephen Kershnar suggests sex with a minor might only be harmful because of the way society reacts to it and not because of the actual act

    • Ownbestenemy

      He isn’t wrong. Disgusting, but not wrong. Our protection between minors and adults is a positive step for humanity that isn’t all that old.

      • Lackadaisical

        I don’t buy it. How young is a minor?

      • Ownbestenemy

        True there, I guess my statement would depend on what the number set is.

      • slumbrew

        It’s the whole pedophilia vs. ephebophilia thing – the latter is malum prohibitum, the former malum in se.

        Lumping it all under ‘pedophilia’ is confusing.

      • ron73440

        When my Uncle died and I was talking to my Aunt at the funeral, she told me how they started dating when she was 14 and he was 25.

        Apparently my grandfather wanted to kill him right up until the wedding. She was 16 and pregnant.

        They were married for 65 years, he was 92 when he died.

      • juris imprudent

        Did your grandfather have an alibi?

    • slumbrew

      He’s got a whole string of ‘WTF?’ positions. Haven’t dug in enough to decide if he’s just a committed troll and shit poster publisher.

      • B.P.

        I was going to make a joke that he must be an ethics professor of some variety, and then Google Books spoils my fun with this:

        “Stephen Kershnar is a distinguished teaching professor in the philosophy department at the State University of New York at Fredonia and an attorney. He focuses on applied ethics and political philosophy.”

    • The Other Kevin

      They want minors to get abortions, sex changes, and vaccinations without parental consent, so is a minor consenting to sex that far of a step?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        It’s interesting how obsessed they are with the sexuality of 14 year olds.

      • Ownbestenemy

        It is one of the formative years and probably the easiest to mold into their sick twisted fantasies.

      • juris imprudent

        CNN producer ears prick up.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Love is a many splattered thing.

    • SDF-7

      “Splend is a many-lovered thing”

    • Q Continuum

      Love; the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I had a girl like that. That was a fun few months until her husband found out.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Despite the near-universal agreement over the need to reduce global emissions

    “Everybody I know agrees…”

    • EvilSheldon

      I mean, three times a day is pretty heavy. I can’t even jerk off that much any more.

      • grrizzly

        And somehow I got an impression you were younger than me.

      • slumbrew

        Yeah, but you’re stronk, like bull bear.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      She’s already started talking about trying a threesome with a neighbour, which is something that doesn’t appeal to me at all.

      Crucial information is omitted here.

      • slumbrew

        Agreed – that missing info is _really_ important.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    I want a pair of cats named Arbitrary and Capricious.

    • Tulip

      I used to have cats named Mischief and Serendipity

    • Ownbestenemy

      I’d wait in lines for hours for that ride

      • EvilSheldon

        Therians are who you look down on if you’re a furry.

        “The online investigator spends her spare time “wolfing out” in the woods and howling at the moon wearing fury ears and a clip-on tail.”

        Fucking tourist…

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      what do you think FLBP stands for?

      Fat Lesbian, Big Ponch?

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Faith-Healer-in-Chief

    President Joe Biden on Wednesday relaunched the federal government’s cancer “moonshot” initiative, with the goal of cutting the death rate from cancer in half over the next quarter-century.

    “We can end cancer as we know it,” Biden said during an event at the White House.

    The initiative is personal for Biden, who lost his son Beau to brain cancer in 2015 and who first launched the initiative as vice president.

    “I committed to this fight when I was vice president,” Biden said Wednesday. “It’s one of the reasons why quite frankly why I ran for president. Let there be no doubt, now that I am president, this is a presidential, White House priority. Period.”

    STFU you doddering fool.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Incoming mandatory cancer screenings

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s really quite simple to halve cancer deaths. You just make sure everybody dies from something else.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Hey, I was proud of the VA not listing COVID induced pneumonia as #1 on my dad’s death certificate and instead listed the untreated throat cancer that he ignored for years.

    • robc

      The best way to lower the cancer rate is to have everyone die much younger.

      If you live long enough, cancer is gonna get ya.

      • C. Anacreon

        If you live long enough, cancer is gonna get ya.

        An oft-said concept in medicine is that every man will get prostate cancer if they live long enough.

    • Not Adahn

      Has he partnered with China to do gain-of-cancer-function research?

  31. Ownbestenemy

    Regular folk need to start joining the truckers and not just let them shoulder the brunt.

    • Don escaped Texas

      Canada?

      Those fuckers have the government they richly deserve; they need to enjoy it a while and reflect before the next trip to the polls.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Meh, I try not to shit on optimism and hope too often

      • Don escaped Texas

        I know what you’re saying , but the standard Glib answer to Don when he points out that something is unconstitutional is something something that ship sailed a long time ago.

        So I’m left with shrugging at this point. Suthen often comments something along the Mencken line that Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard. It’s hard to feel sorry for people who begged begged begged for strong central answers to every last problem in their lives and then woke up one day with a raging narcissus at the head of government. Who could have guessed it would work out this way.

        I vote with my feet all the time: my saddle will fit on the horses at the next brand, trust me….these boots will just jingle on down to the next gate. But I’m also related to a lot of truckers and have been listening to them bitch for a half century now. I know not everyone can quit every job, but every freshman in economics (except AOC I’m guessing) will tell you that a job tied to a commodity is a DeadFuckingEnd. A ton*mile is a ton*mile: zero special ’bout you or your truck. I email Gordi still every now and then and care about him and his family, but I can’t follow his populist, self-serving narrative. It’s a market; there’s too much government interference. I do get it, my equipment is on a solid majority of NAFTA trucks rolling, but, after twenty years, it’s on you if you’re still driving.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    If that senile moron in the White House really wants to do something about the death rate, he should stop trying to start a war with Russia.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Question is, do you hold Northern Europe or Southern Europe when your opponent takes Russia?

  33. Sean

    These Dr. Oz ads are getting slicker. Whoever is writing them is saying the right things. I don’t trust him at all though.

    • Ownbestenemy

      All the Prozac soccer moms will vote for him because they sit at home watching him all day long.

    • Ted S.

      Wait until they have a coypu do it.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Blah blah blah bask in my glorious radiance

    Melinda French Gates, co-founder of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, will no longer be pledging the majority of her wealth to the philanthropic organization.

    According to the Wall Street Journal, French Gates still plans to distribute much of her fortune across philanthropic endeavors, but largely outside of the Gates Foundation, which is one of the world’s largest.

    “I recognize the absurdity of so much wealth being concentrated in the hands of one person, and I believe the only responsible thing to do with a fortune this size is to give it away – as thoughtfully and impactfully as possible,” French Gates wrote in a new letter.

    “The ultimate goal of any philanthropist should be to render the need for philanthropy obsolete,” the billionaire wrote. “It’s important to acknowledge that giving away money your family will never need is not an especially noble act. There’s no question in my mind that the real standard for generosity is set by the people who give even when it means going without.

    “That’s why, as part of this pledge, I commit to doing more than writing checks. I also commit my time, energy, and efforts to the work of fighting poverty and advancing equality – for women and girls and other marginalized groups – in the United States and around the world.”

    You should just bulldoze the money into a big pile and burn it.

    • Plinker762

      Isn’t she just Melinda Frenxh now?

    • juris imprudent

      Philanthropy will be obsolete when poverty is. Just about as likely.

  35. Ownbestenemy

    Fuck you Hyperbole for making me think if the Canadians are the same as BLM with them blocking traffic. Fuck you with a rusty spoon.

    • Sean

      It’s not even close. They’re worlds apart.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Are they? BLM strolls down some bridge and denies access for their stated political goals versus truckers deny access for their stated political goals?

      • slumbrew

        At least the truckers are at the capital, I guess?

        (the methods are admittedly similar, albeit for wildly different goals)

      • The Hyperbole

        Its not the truckers at the capital, it’s the ones blocking the border*

        * if they are in fact doing that, as others have noted the reporting on this is pretty shitty.

      • Sean

        They have gotten the province to drop covid mandates and are allowing traffic in both directions last I heard.

      • DEG

        Alberta might lift Covid restrictions this month.

        According to Rebel News, the truckers opened up a lane so that people caught up in the blockade that wanted out could leave. As far as I know, they kept vehicles in place to prevent crossing the border.

      • DEG

        Found an updated story. Yes, they are now allowing one lane through across the border, and the government agreed to drop the Covid restrictions. The truckers will restore the blockade if the restrictions aren’t lifted.

        OK, sorry, I missed the newer story when I looked to find an update on the situation.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Right and the Tiananmen Square guy was a BLM dick for blocking tank traffic.

        BLM are after positive rights. The truckers are being infringed upon and are trying to preserve their negative rights. The ballot box has clearly failed and we are facing fewer options. Blocking traffic is a far more restrained response than the truckers would be justified in. The lampposts in Ottawa should be full right now.

      • The Hyperbole

        He was blocking the people actually doing the aggression, these truckers* are fucking with people that have nothing to do with the mandates and such, and just want the get to the store/work/home.

        * again if they are actually blocking the border.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        So you’re arguing the truckers should go straight for outright rebellion? That’s what going directly for the people putting out mandates means. Let’s not pussy foot around. As soon as the first petty bureaucrats are strung up, it’s going it to be rivers of blood.

        fucking with people that have nothing to do with the mandates and such, and just want the get to the store/work/home

        And these people who just want to get the to store/work/home are showing their papers right? Enablers and collaborators. That puts them in the same camp as those asking for the papers. There are no innocents in a papiere bitte scenario. Enforcement is not possible without the support of the population.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’m arguing that aggressing against people whom haven’t aggressed upon you is a dick move no matter how righteous your cause may be.

        There are no innocents in a papiere bitte scenario

        Why not? if I’m neither for or against it, you forcing me to take your side is just as bad as them forcing me to take theirs.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        And I’m arguing that they are aggressors. Indirectly if not directly.

        Societal pressure releases can be messy. The trucker protest is one form.

      • The Hyperbole

        You really want to play the “indirectly aggressors” card? May as well just admit that you have no core principles and will happily use the violence inherent in the system to achieve your preferred outcome.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Core principle is every person enjoys negative rights. Those who act against negative rights are aggressors. Twist and weasel against that as much as you want.

      • Not Adahn

        Yeah nah.

        A border crossing is a choke point created by the state. People are harmed when it’s closed mainly because the state is denying them other options.

      • Sean

        The government started it by blocking the truckers from crossing borders at the outset. Don’t lose sight of that.

      • Ownbestenemy

        And that is where I come back to they are not the same.

      • creech

        In Philly, BLM protestors spilled out onto the interstate and were driven off by water hoses. They sued the city for “excessive force” and won damages. So, at least in some places, blocking traffic gets rewarded.

      • DEG

        Marxist grifters who weren’t serious about police reform (problems with policing aren’t about race) vs. folks that want the government to leave them alone.

      • C. Anacreon

        It’s not even close. They’re worlds apart.

        They knew from the start
        Deep down in their heart
        That BLM and Truckers were worlds apart
        But their mothers said, “Never mind, your part
        Is to be what you’ll be”

      • Ownbestenemy

        It is actually why I love you around. I picture you walking around all day with a handmade shiv popping our bubbles

  36. Timeloose

    On topic:

    How was this not the music accompaniment for the post?

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qWI6E8gdBzk

    They might have to change the line “six inches forward and five inches back” to something more culturally realistic.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Fuck you Hyperbole for making me think if the Canadians are the same as BLM with them blocking traffic.

    How much property damage? How much looting?

    • Sean

      Let me know when the truckers start assaulting police or random passerbys.

  38. UnCivilServant

    I’m continuing my mariande experiment where I’ve gone and picked up different oils for comparison. I picked up Safflower*, Extra Virgin Olive, and SMITH Rape “Canola”. For my first test, I put some $0.99 chicken thighs in with the same seasoning set (a plethora of herbs, salt, and fresh black pepper, not that old can I used last time). So far I’ve found that the olive oil made a very green marinade, the safflower oil made one that was almost white, while the rapeseed was in-between. I’ll find out if there’s a difference in flavor after letting the chicken soak it in.

    *I’d heard of it, but never seen it available in the grocery store before, so despite the high price, I decided to give it a try.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Good choices. I usually use olive or vegetable and canola

    • Count Potato

      First thing to decide — does this marinade need oil? Most don’t.

      If yes, then if it’s European/Hispanic use olive, else something neutral. Peanut oil works well in asian food. Soybean oil is almost always hydrogenated.

      I use only three kinds of oil. Olive for non-asian cooking, corn for baking, and peanut for asian stuff.

      • UnCivilServant

        Given that the base formula for a marinade is 3:1 oil:acid, I’m not seeing where you’re getting that “most don’t” answer.

        What formula do you use?

      • KSuellington

        FWIW I never have used anything close to a 3:1 oil/acid ratio and I make a mean marinade.

      • UnCivilServant

        What would your formula be?

      • KSuellington

        I don’t measure out but I’d say closer to 1:1 oil/acid. I like using extra light olive oil, apple cider vinegar and OJ as the base. Sometimes I’ll sub the OJ for lemon or lime juice. And then the spice blend. 3:1 seems like it’d be very oily.

      • Not Adahn

        That’s the ratio for salad dressing.

      • Count Potato

        Where are you getting that formula?

      • UnCivilServant

        The internet. I didn’t keep a list of sources for more specific linkage

      • Count Potato

        You can’t believe anything you read there.

      • UnCivilServant

        There’s a reason I’m experimenting. Control one set of variables, see what happens, control another set, see what happens, and so on.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Curious on the ‘most dont’ either.

        A liquid mixture, usually of vinegar or wine and oil with various spices and herbs, in which meat, fowl, fish, or vegetables are soaked before cooking

      • Count Potato

        Yes, that’s a traditional marinade. Many of which are derived from sauces. So the oil is often for cultural reasons, not that is does much of anything.

        The two most important things are acid and salt. Alcohol is very helpful because it is both a solvent and a bit amphiphilic.

      • R.J.

        Coke a Cola Is good. Makes a nice marinade.

      • Count Potato

        Also, by “European” I pretty much mean “Mediterranean” — places that grow olives. I know nothing about Scandinavian, German, Eastern European, etc.

  39. KSuellington

    That penis story was brutal and the pics are indeed squirm inducing. Yeah, I’ll agree with the doc, that wasn’t weed it was a schizophrenic episode. In another lifetime I went to Thailand to visit a friend who’d been living in SE Asia for a year. She really wanted to see the sex shows in Patpong, specifically she wanted to see sex in a tuk-tuk that all the places seemed to hint at but none could deliver. So we spent a long evening going from one joint to the next and saw many incredible feats done with vaginas. After several hours and locations we began to notice how to tell a lady boy from a born female from a distance was that the line of the labia majora (through the thong bikinis) was higher on the lady boys. We never did see sex in a tuk tuk.

    • R.J.

      You mean the three wheeled vehicle? That tuk tuk?

      • KSuellington

        Yup that very thing. She had seen signs advertising this and got it into her head that we would see it. By the end of the night we were trying to get into weird Japanese only places that wanted no part of our Western asses in there

    • Count Potato

      “The ADL just minutes ago changed its definition of “racism” as a response to the Whoopie situation. Her claim that Hitler wasn’t racist because racism is something whites do to blacks is founded in the critical theory definition of racism used by ADL. Now erased.”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I called it.

        I knew those assholes would cover for her. Worthless, hypocritical shitstains.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      The truckers need more guns,

  40. DEG

    Ron DeSantis likes the truckers.

    Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis has expressed his endorsement of the Freedom Convoy in Ottawa, Canada, and other truckers protesting the Canadian government’s federal health mandates and restrictions.

    In a post on Twitter, DeSantis tweeted an image in support of the truckers on Tuesday that read, “Truck Yeah!”

  41. Tundra

    That was a great video! I really enjoy those situations where the band doesn’t really like a song, but the suits release it and it blows up.

    And Debbie still sets my heart aflutter.

  42. rhywun

    USMNT v Honduras now in Mpls

    1º LOL

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Hey now, we are going down to 2 degrees the same day, not funny,

      • Count Potato

        Two degrees is twice as warm!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Behold the power of Global Warmening!

      • rhywun

        OK small lol.

        I hope they picked this venue on purpose.

        The friendlies against southern opposition are always in Texas or LA in order to put Latinx butts in seats. This game means something so we might as well try to gain some advantage.

        *remembers the WC qualifying game against Costa Rica in six inches of snow a few years ago*

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        It is funny though, 🙂

    • rhywun

      And believing that anyone gives a shit about their position on Joe Rogan.

      JFC this whole episode is approaching peak stupid even in current year.

      • rhywun

        PS. I never imagined the “lovable dope” from News Radio was going to evolve into a cultural lightning rod a couple decades later. Good for him.

      • Count Potato

        I never watched Fear Factor, but the Man Show with him was awful. I also never expected Jimmy Kimmel to turn into a political clown.