Attack of the Mushroom People

by | Mar 17, 2022 | Film, Fun | 220 comments

This is a great example of a poster drawn up by someone who had never seen the movie

Attack of the Mushroom People

In Texas in the early 1970s, television was great. Saturday afternoon TV had Godzilla films and Hammer Horror movies. I started my film education then, over at a friends’ house watching movies on one of those giant scrollwork console 28” TVs.

One Saturday, the film was Attack of the Mushroom People. To a pre-teen, this film was absolutely wild. I, being an American from an insular small town, knew this film only as Attack of the Mushroom People until the internet age. Then I realized that the film’s original title, that sounds much cooler, was Matango.

Attack of the Mushroom People is credited with scaring the willies out of a generation of young kids. Would it still do so?  This film is also what you would call a slow burn. There is no dramatic surge of crazed mushroom peeps until near the end, and the transformations and insanity take until almost the last third of the film to show up.

Slow burn films are kind of a thing in Toho movies. In many of those films, the character development and plot built slowly, until the monster or monsters arrived with a crescendo of action.  That is a hallmark of Ishiro Honda, who not only wrote tonight’s film, but wrote the original Godzilla.

This is a great example of body horror films, a genre where the integrity of the human body is compromised. The Island of Dr. Moreau is another example. Newer films like this include Tokyo Gore Police which I posted about 15 posts ago.

One last thing.  One of my favorite Toho actresses is in tonight’s film – Kumi Mizuno, who was in more cool movies  than just about anyone else in tonight’s film.

Watch!  Or Don’t! Everything is voluntary!  Next week is open for a vote.  I have Ahockalypse, where zombies attack a championship hockey team, Netherbeast Incorporated, where a nigh-immortal group of creatures work in a telephone company, and a movie I have yet to watch, The Haunting of Muffin Baker.

Help! Tubi wants an account to sign in!

No account or sign-in is required to use Tubi. The only advantage to signing in is you can maintain a queue and save your place in movies you are watching. Follow these instructions to bypass the sign in:

After you click the link for the weekly movie, hit the Play button on the movie and you should get the screen shown below. The guest option may require scrolling up to see. Click the circled guest option to watch the film.

(h/t: The Hyperbole)

 

 

About The Author

R.J.

R.J.

Hello. My name is R.J. I am a Tulpa with extra cheese and sour cream.

220 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    *hits play*

    • Chafed

      That’s how you first.

      • Brochettaward

        I’d point and laugh at you for thinking you could tell someone how to First. The audacity.

      • Chafed

        Well, CP firsted and you didn’t. I encourage winners.

      • Brochettaward

        The only thing I’d take advice from you on is hand fucking, Chafed.

        Talking about Firsting…

        Don’t quit your day job.

      • MikeS

        I agree, Bro. I can’t wait until the day that you get your first First. It will be glorious!

      • Brochettaward

        1/10 troll job.

        I’ve Firsted more times in this thread alone than you’ve managed to second in the last week.

      • Brochettaward

        I AM THE FIRST

      • Chafed

        ?

  2. R.J.

    I still can’t stop laughing about the chicken sodomizer.

    • DEG

      Huh. You’re willing to piss on on some pin-striped legs. Well, I admire that.

      I am leaving tomorrow for PA, so I won’t be around this weekend to point you in the right direction. Maybe some other weekend.

      • R.J.

        I shall humiliate the powerful with my unstoppable stream!

      • DEG

        A new form of “armed protester” for Sununu to whine about.

        He talked about armed protesters at his house after he issued the mask order. They were folks carrying concealed firearms for personal protection as is legal in NH.

  3. DEG

    Saturday afternoon TV had Godzilla films

    Godzilla films would show up on TV on Saturday afternoons and sometimes Sunday afternoons in the 80s when I was a kid in the Philly area. I like the old Godzilla movies.

    Diving in.

  4. The Hyperbole

    This is a great example of a poster drawn up by someone who had never seen the movie

    According to Little Steven many of Roger Corman’s films began as nothing more than the promotional poster.

    • R.J.

      No doubt. Get a concept, start drawing. Sometimes I think The Asylum group does the same thing.

    • Ted S.

      Ditto the Cannon films.

  5. DEG

    Starting in the psych ward. Auspicious.

    • R.J.

      Yeah! It’s one of those that starts at the ending.

      • R.J.

        Imagibe the chicken sodomizer film.
        “Dear viewers. This is me. In the hospital, with an angry chicken stuck up my ass. It all began two days ago, when I tripped on the stairs while carrying my beloved rooster…”

      • DEG

        Hah!

      • Tulip

        The guy is shaped like an egg.

      • R.J.

        “Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!
        All the kings horses and all the King’s men
        Could pull the chicken out of his ass”

  6. Count Potato

    I saw this a couple months ago, so I’m watching the English dub with English subtitles of the Japanese commentary track.

    “Kumi Mizuno is Matango”

    • R.J.

      Nice. I have no Smart TV tonight. Just a phone. Tomorrow I start driving back to my beloved Texas.

      • Count Potato

        The dubbed English doesn’t match the English subs of the Japanese dialog!

      • rhywun

        It drives me nuts when I’m trying improve my German with the help of German subtitles and the subtitles don’t match the spoken words. Like, re-phrasings, synonyms, entire phrases left out.

      • R.J.

        Not at all surprised. Have you seen Toast of London? People get drunk and do subtitles.

  7. DEG

    “If you threaten a girl, she’ll be sympathetic to you”? Did I hear that right?

    • Count Potato

      I’m no doctor, but still wondering why they left an enraged bird up a guy’s ass for eight hours rather than kill it.

      • R.J.

        Honestly if you were the farmer, would you not find some shears and chop it off at the neck rather than go to the hospital and show everyone your fetish? Or maybe that’s his thing? Third time this year?

      • R.J.

        Lesson #6 is relevant to our chicken sodomizers.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        One of my personal favorites

        “ If you are going to get into a fight, and have a prosthetic eye, make sure you take it out first…..and, for safe keeping, shove it up your vagina…..the, realize that you cannot get it out and go to the ED for removal ”

      • R.J.

        “Can I have that back now? I feel naked without it.”

      • Count Potato

        I sounds like it was in head first.

    • Chafed

      JFC. Dude needs to have his rectum sealed with tar.

      • groat scotum

        We don’t know that it wasn’t inadvertent. I can’t imagine how one intentionally manages the insertion.

        TBH I’m pretty sure “New Jersey Brief” is an Onion ripoff. Come on, NEW Jersey? We already have a Jersey, Kevin Smith has done that shit to death.

      • Chafed

        I think we do. I’m willing to bet the odds of it happening accidentally border on physical impossibility. Contrast that with freak likes a chicken in his ass.

      • Chafed

        See also Scruffy’s link above.

  8. westernsloper

    3 mins in and I want to go sailing and eat mushrooms.

  9. DEG

    It was a three hour tour.

  10. DEG

    I figured that berry wouldn’t be good.

  11. Count Potato

    Apparently, there were poisonous “japanese copperheads” on the island where this was filmed, and its residents would kill them and drink their blood, which shocked the actors.

    • R.J.

      Killing them is not so shocking. Drinking their blood out like a fleshy straw is a bit much.

      • Count Potato

        Maybe they used shot glasses like the Thai do with cobra blood?

      • R.J.

        That sounds less amusing. But more likely.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        LOL

        There was a restaurant in Shanghai that served snake.

        You’d have to pick your live snake from a bag of them before they cooked it.

        The surprise part was when they chopped the head off and expressed the blood into a glass for you to drink. I had one coworker who almost fainted.

      • R.J.

        Whenever I have been punched in the face or had a bad accident, I always found the coppery salty taste of blood annoying, not delicious. I can’t see how snake blood would make me go “wow, that’s delicious” any more than if I got punched in the mouth.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s not delicious, just exotic in a very Chinese way. “The weirder it is, the better it must be for you “ is a thing over there.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, the challenge is the point.

        With no knowledge of this particular practice, I’m going to guess that the promise is sexual performance. Because that is what it always is.

      • Count Potato

        I had a whale penis leather wallet. When I rubbed it turned into a suitcase.

      • blackjack

        Sperm whale?

      • Tulip

        That’s taking compensating for a small dick to new extremes.

  12. Count Potato

    The ship they discover in the movie was investigating the atomic bomb.

  13. DEG

    How convenient. The gangplank is down.

  14. DEG

    Red, like the Red Light District in Amsterdam. Except I’d rather be in Amsterdam.

  15. R.J.

    My wife decided to go feed and pet the raccoons at the trash cans down the street from this condo. She now has 46 new furry friends. I can’t tell her what to do.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Tomorrow’s headline: Man on road trip from Texas contracts rectal rabies after going to the hospital with an angry racoon lodged in his colon.

      • R.J.

        “I swear! It was the tornado in Alabama! It forced the flying raccoon into my accidentally exposed anus!”

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      My wife decided to go feed and pet the raccoons…

      She ded now. D-E-D
      My condolences, R.J.

    • blackjack

      man, we have a possum that keeps coming in through the cat door. At first he’d eat the cat food and then sneak in under the couch, just to hang out. I’d have to get a broom handle and coax him back out to leave. Now, he seems happy just eating the food. You can hear him, because his funky shaped face knocks the bowl around a certain way. I just turn on the light and hiss at him and he freaks out and scrambles through the cat entry. The raccoons seem to have mostly moved on for the time being.

      • Chafed

        Catch it, get it in inoculated, and make it your pet. You’ll all be happier.

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      My grandma had a pet racoon for a while. Her dog killed it’s mother so she felt guilty and brought it in the house. Big mistake. It got into everything. But she had it trained to go potty outside. And it was cute.

  16. Count Potato

    Funny, they are dressed in white like Japanese ghosts.

    • rhywun

      Oh no… are they hopping? Or was that zombies? I can’t keep this stuff straight.

      • Count Potato

        Japanese ghosts typically wear white. They are most often female, and their hair looks wet (eg. Ringu). This goes back a very long time, long before film. Japanese zombies are very recent in comparison. There were Japanese ghost stories centuries before the French brought Africans to Haiti. Never noticed any hopping.

      • R.J.

        No undead zombie hopping in this one. I am working on finding another hopping Chinese vampire film.”

  17. DEG

    Trippy.

    I gotta go join a Zoom. I’ll finish later. Thanks RJ!

    • R.J.

      Thanks!

  18. Mojeaux

    OT, but at 53 minutes in. Yesterday I was stressing about the course I’m taking. Today I took a quiz (90%) and 2 tests (both 100%). I stand at 97.5% for the course.

    Y’all are going to get tired of hearing about this, but I haven’t taken a course for anything in 20 years and apparently my study habits improved bigly in that time, and I’m kind of giving myself the side-eye, like, why couldn’t I have worked like this when I was young? But oh well. I’ve got a substantial goal, so the stakes are a little different now. Am happy camper.

    • R.J.

      Fantastic! I know I matured and did much better in school in my late 30’s. So glad to hear you are doing good. Succeed! Conquer!

      At least I matured in study habits. I still giggle at chicken sodomizers.

      • Fourscore

        It was a lot easier when you wanted to do it, rather than had to do it. I found the same thing, Dean’s list my last 5 semesters @ 40ish.

      • Mojeaux

        Well, I kind of have to do it but the goal is realistic (upgrade my career), and I quite enjoy the work (except when I’m melting down about it).

      • Fourscore

        You want to do it, to better your career, your life and also to impress upon your kids that learning is never over and education is necessary and important even if a person isn’t real young. Good for you, Mojo, we’re proud of you for taking this challenge.

      • Mojeaux

        Thanks, Fourscore! That means a lot to me.

    • rhywun

      Rock on!

      Always be learning something.

    • Ted S.

      Y65.5 is a fun one.

      • R.J.

        I remember there was an excessive amount of codes for train wrecks.

      • Ted S.

        V81.82: Occupant of railway train or railway vehicle injured due to object falling onto train

      • Mojeaux

        Weird. That one is printed with a $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ notation.

      • R.J.

        Tonight’s challenge! Find the diagnosis codes for objects stuck in rectums and assign the proper code for our fat farmer!

      • Mojeaux

        Can’t. Too busy saving a doctor from his bad Yiddish.

        Him: “The patient putzes around on his farm.”

        Me: “The patient putters around on his farm.”

      • Chafed

        Lol. You need more Jewish friends.

      • groat scotum

        Better than being putsched around on the farm…

      • slumbrew

        Maybe he’s really penising around his farm. That’s one way to end up with a chicken in your rectum.

      • Ted S.

        T18.5?

    • Chafed

      What are you studying Mo?

      • Mojeaux

        I am taking a year-long medical coding/billing course.

        My ebook formatting has pretty much dried up. My books never paid the bills and I’m irrelevant now anyway. Medical transcription/editing pays peanuts because most of it’s voice rec or offshored.

        So, I need a new income stream and this seemed like a good idea, to move from transcription/editing to coding, with a ginormous income bump.

        The goal is to be able to work from home and, ideally, as a contractor, but if I have to work in an office as an employee, so be it.

      • Chafed

        Good for you. Based on some of your past comments I assumed you had been trained in medical coding some time in the past.

        If you are interested in marketing work instead, you might consider getting Hubspot and/or Google certifications. They are all free. I only mention it because you seem to have an eye toward discerning what does and doesn’t work. Marketing related work might suit you.

      • Mojeaux

        No, just medical transcription. I never did coding because until covid, coding was mostly an office job, and I am a WAHM. I knew medical transcription was done almost exclusively from home, so I took a medical transcription course when I was pregnant with XX so I could work from home as soon as she was born, and I did that. I made good money back then. Now, not so much.

        I have been doing transcription as a trade for most of my working life, since I was 16, working for my dad’s PI business, but I still had to take a specialized medical transcription course to do it.

        I do not see what works and what doesn’t at all. I am exactly wrong every time when I try to predict what people will like. Rather, I can see what they like and why, but I can’t hit that target. Marketing is not my bag. If it were, my books would be paying my bills.

    • groat scotum

      Not even a course of antibiotics?

      A course of whiskies? Wait, that’s a flight.

      • Mojeaux

        I just finished my latest course of antibiotics…

      • groat scotum

        A course of obvious references?

        Wait, that’s of course.

        Smacked a bunch of golf balls

        off course

        Uhh

      • groat scotum

        Something about military units, have you taken the oath that admits you to the corps

  19. Brochettaward

    When rat fuckers turn on one another:

    In a demand for arbitration targeting CNN, former CNN anchor Chris Cuomo, who had a history of blowing kisses toward fellow CNN anchor Don Lemon as they repeatedly told each other, “I love you, brother,” turned on Lemon as well as CNN anchor Jake Tapper, saying they had breached “traditional journalistic standards.” Cuomo also accused Tapper of falsely claiming Cuomo had “threatened” former CNN chief Jeff Zucker and Lemon had falsely claimed “that Cuomo had been ‘found to break with those journalistic standards and then [was] paid handsomely for it.’”

    The demand for arbitration states:

    Cuomo had no reason to believe that his assistance to Gov. Cuomo was inconsistent with CNN’s or Turner’s policies nor its expectations, especially given the fact that Zucker and Gollust had encouraged him to do so and had themselves provided advice to Gov. Cuomo. In fact, CNN fostered a culture in which the network’s standards and practices were a constantly moving target, modified at CNN executives’ discretion as they saw fit., and that culture began at the top with Zucker and Gollust.

    As long as Zucker and Gollust believed CNN’s ratings would benefit, they were more than willing to disregard breaches of traditional journalistic standards by CNN personalities, such as Don Lemon and Jake Tapper, or even to engage in blatant breaches of journalistic ethics themselves. There is no better example of this than Zucker and Gollust making an exception to the CNN rule to direct Cuomo to interview his brother several times over the course of three months.

    “Did you think about what message it sends to the journalists in the company and also to the larger public that someone can be found to break with those journalistic standards and then get paid handsomely for it?” Lemon reportedly asked. “And what is to stop the next person from doing the same thing, and possibly getting compensated for it, by saying, ‘Hey I’m going to spread rumors if you don’t give me this amount of money’?”

  20. The Hyperbole

    R.J. do you have “The Keep” on your list yet? It’s supposedly so bad that it’s the reason we don’t have a ‘Repairman Jack’ movie, which is a goddam crime. I mean even the colossal hack Lee Childs got a couple movies and a TV series? Fuck sake.

    • R.J.

      I don’t think so.. I’ll check the list in the forums and add it if missing.

    • rhywun

      It’s bad, but in a good way, and with a fantastically unsuitable Tangerine Dream soundtrack how could you go wrong.

      • Count Potato

        The soundtrack is the best part.

      • R.J.

        Some crazy kung fu film I watched lately had a (clearly stolen) Tangerine Dream soundtrack and the Wide World of Sports song. It was hilarious but the movie was just completely unwatchable.

      • R.J.

        Oh, and Tarkus by E.L.P. was in the mix too. Like crazy hippies dubbed it.

      • Count Potato

        WTF?

      • rhywun

        It was weird when I first saw The Keep because I knew some of the music very well from other recordings, concerts and stuff. (They were constantly repurposing tracks.) Hearing that music in that context was jarring.

      • Count Potato

        “They were constantly repurposing tracks.”

        I don’t really blame then given the costs at the time.

      • rhywun

        Well that plus it was one of their schticks. They were just as much a live band as studio, and all their live stuff has lots of improvisations. To the point where it’s worth downloading everything you can get your hands on and I have.

      • Count Potato

        I was never that big a fan. I have a few of their studio albums on vinyl, and a double cd of them live in Poland.

    • rhywun

      I almost don’t want a Repairman Jack movie because there is no way they’d do it justice.

      • EvilSheldon

        The idea of woke Hollywood gangfucking Repairman Jack makes me want to slit my wrists, and I’m not one normally given to suicidal ideation.

      • rhywun

        It would have to be very indie.

    • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

      The Keep (movie) was so much better than The Keep (book) and I almost never say that.

      Wilson had a bunch of good short stories though.

      • EvilSheldon

        You, my friend, are out of your goddamned gourd.

      • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

        Generally.

    • slumbrew

      I can’t think of a series whose story arc disappointed me more than Repairman Jack.

  21. Brochettaward

    Watch! Or Don’t! Everything is voluntary! Next week is open for a vote. I have Ahockalypse, where zombies attack a championship hockey team, Netherbeast Incorporated, where a nigh-immortal group of creatures work in a telephone company, and a movie I have yet to watch, The Haunting of Muffin Baker.

    I’m tired of zombies. Give me the one about the immortal creatures dealing with the drudgery of working on a phone company.

    • Mojeaux

      Give me the one about the immortal creatures dealing with the drudgery of working on a phone company.

      Close enough.

      • R.J.

        I liked that book. It was quite good.
        I will write up Netherbeast tomorrow. I may have to wait a day to go home due to extreme weather in Alabama so I will out the time to good use.

      • rhywun

        I’ll check that out – I like some of his other stuff.

      • Brochettaward

        I’m currently sensitive about my figure, being pregnant with The First. Maybe at a later point when I’m back to my old self.

    • R.J.

      Done. You were the only vote. It’s a great choice.

      • Brochettaward

        I mean, should anyone else’s vote really matter, even if they were so inclined? I know you know who I am.

  22. Fourscore

    Watching the news tonight, Ukraine , the southern border plus the civil breakdown on the Mexican side plus the shabby laptop business, inflation. I couldn’t help wondering in an impeachment isn’t in order. Even a military coup minus Milley. I thought the perfect time for a coup was when Schwarzkopf and Powell were riding the crest in Iraq. Now I’m beginning to wonder how much breakdown needs to occur before Biden/Kamala are history?

    Surely there must be unrest in the ranks.

    • kbolino

      Surely there must be unrest in the ranks.

      The vaccine purges weren’t for nothing.

    • rhywun

      The GOP doesn’t have the discipline to carry out an impeachment, no matter how richly Biden deserves one. Plus the Dems would vote against it in total lockstep. Maybe after the midterms.

    • Brochettaward

      While gross incompetence should be grounds for impeachment, the Constitution states it is for Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors. I guess it wouldn’t be too hard to dig into Biden’s finances and find evidence of bribery, but no politicians would go for that right or left outside a few oddballs. I mean, what, you think they’re going to establish a precedent that could be turned around and used on them?

  23. Count Potato

    Matango was based on “The Voice of the Night” by William Hope Hodgson.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Think it’s “Voices in the Night”, but I don’t have it in front of me at the moment. Lots of great maritime horror there – plus his “Carnacki the Ghost Finder” stories. Need to find a collected hard copy of all his stuff….if I can.

      And his Dying Earth stuff too….just great. He’d make a fun “Toxic Masculinity” guy too.

      • Count Potato

        Well, this was in the Japanese commentary, and they did mention there were several different Japanese translations of the title. The subtitles were Japanese to English, Japanese doesn’t have plurals or articles, so I’m guessing “the voice” and “voices” would be the same difference?

        Anyway, they mentioned he spent eight years traveling by sea, and that was the backdrop of many of his stories.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Yeah – look up his wiki. Like Joseph Conrad – running away to sea inspires a LOT of good stuff.

      • Lackadaisical

        Like sodomy and the lash?

  24. R.J.

    I am out folks. Until next time, don’t sit on any chickens!

    • Count Potato

      Thanks 🙂

      What’s next week?

      • R.J.

        Looks like Netherbeast, Incorporated. Really good film from 2007.

      • Count Potato

        OK, thanks 🙂

    • Chafed

      That’s always good advice.

  25. Tres Cool

    Im off to work kids.
    Mind the store.

    • Count Potato

      *does whippets off the canned whip cream*

  26. DenverJ

    Hi everybody! So, I know that some of you are financial wizards. I am not. I am also a person of historical irresponsibility. I find myself in my young 50s, with very little savings- none actually than a 401k I am invested in or will be by August. If I were to dedicate 100$ a month for investment, is it too late? If not, where should those dollars go?

    • DenverJ

      Vested, I guess is the word I wanted re 401k

      • Fourscore

        It’s never too late. Keep in mind that inflation will reduce your buying power but having no buying power (no savings) would be worse.

      • Chafed

        It depends on your risk tolerance. I think you need to accept some risk if you want to make meaningful progress in the 15-20 years. Trashy’s suggestion below is good. If you want just one mutual fund, then I would put it in a total stock market index fund.

      • Mojeaux

        S&P 500 won’t let you down over the long haul.

        My advice would be different. I would put half of it in my mattress and half of it in my pantry.

      • Chafed

        Which mafia family do you belong to?

      • Mojeaux

        I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you.

      • DenverJ

        Thanks everyone. You all really are the best

      • slumbrew

        I will strongly recommend:

        https://bogleheads.org/

        Those folks will answer any questions you have and lean towards un-sexy but worthwhile advice. There is great advice to be had there.

        It is never too late.

      • DenverJ

        Thankyou

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      1) It’s never too late. Every dollar saved now is a few dollars more you’ll have later.

      2) do you have a 6ish month emergency fund? If not, that’s where the money should go. Cash in a bank account, not invested.

      3) if investing, I’d stick them in low/no fee ETFs. 3 or 4 fund strategy.

    • Brochettaward

      I’ll give you the only advice you ever really need.

      Buy high, sell low.

      • Fourscore

        I learned from you, Son.

    • creech

      Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Here’s an idea that won’t even require putting up money: start identifying as a BIPOC. Then, if and when reparations are doled out, you’ll be all set to profit handsomely from white guilt.

      • Chafed

        Lol. I think I heard Suze Orman recommend that strategy.

      • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

        God, she was the keynote speaker at a book conference I was at once. Talk about not reading the room.

  27. LCDR_Fish

    I’ll rewatch that flick in the near term…for the moment…wow.

    Dunno if it was someone here or on twitter who recommended the webcomic: “Stand Still Stay Silent” – that is an absolutely amazing piece of work (http://sssscomic.com/). Went through all 1500+ pages over the past few evenings at work (slow).

    Highly recommended – post-apocalyptic Scandinavian monster hunting….and the work done to represent the language barriers is great. Amazing art too. Turns out it’s the same writer/artist who did that excellent “social credit” comic I posted a while back – https://www.hummingfluff.com/lovelypeoplecomic.html – but very different atmosphere.

    Just backed the kickstarter for the 4th volume of the print edition and ordered the first 3 online. That’s a good comic.

    • rhywun

      1500+ pages

      ? Looks interesting.

  28. Atreides

    Mushrooms are gross enough. Making them people is just overkill.

    So glad that you’re continuing to do this series, RJ.

    God Bless Texas!

    • Gender Traitor

      I love Despair. We got my boss a copy of the Deluxe Edition of The Art of Demotivation for either his birthday or for Bosses’ Day a few years ago. He’s obviously memorized it and is following its guidance to the letter.

      • LCDR_Fish

        I get a “make your own” calendar and put it up in our shared office. Some classics every year and a few good new ones.

    • Chafed

      I didn’t know what the video was going to be. I was half expecting an AC-130 doing live fire set to music.

    • rhywun

      ??

    • Brochettaward

      Is Milton purely private? If so, I mean I’ll point and laugh and feel sorry for the kids as well as the future of our country, but otherwise it’s the parents choice to send their kids there. They’re getting what they pay for and it’s not really my place to say they can’t.

      • slumbrew

        Is Milton purely private?

        I believe it is.

        Stupid rich leftists are paying for their children to have their brains broken.

        As you say, I feel bad for the kids.

      • Chafed

        It is. I know a guy who went there decades ago.

        I pity the children though I do look forward to watching them rebel by becoming orthodox Catholics.

  29. CatchTheCarp

    I enjoy reading the reviews of these films – I usually learn something. Adds Tokyo Gore Police to watch list – this one has me intrigued.

    • hayeksplosives

      Seems like a lesbian with “Hey look at me” syndrome.

      Everything about her carriage and delivery was feminine.

      Hon, just eat box and leave the kids alone. They don’t need to know details about sex yet. They still play in the dirt and learn that they won’t always win the soccer match, yet life goes on.

      • Brochettaward

        It’s no longer enough to just be gay. It’s a competition to see who can check the most boxes, to be the most diverse and special snowflake of all. The more accepting of out groups society becomes, the further these people will go to find things that distinguish themselves as special because they are different. If everyone starts buying into the pronoun bullshit and accepting the trans, they’ll move on.

        Aren’t you excited to see what’s next? Furries? Pedophiles? Furry pedophiles?

      • hayeksplosives

        Ha! Furry pedophiles sounds funny, yet we know it will happen and have real victims.

        It might be time for another “great flood” level event.

  30. hayeksplosives

    This “Lia” Thomas charade is disgraceful.

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10625251/amp/Trans-swimmer-Lia-Thomas-wins-500-yard-freestyle-NCAA-championships.html

    “She” (XY chromosomes and male puberty and hormones until 2 years ago) won the NCAA national championship with ar time of 4:33.24.

    Second place winner (XX chromosomes) Emma Weyant got 4:34.99 seconds.

    Former NFL Saints player Benjamin Watson, an outspoken and very respectful family man and social commentator, wrote in reaction: “ Men continue to find new ways to abuse women. Including the men that are letting this happen.“

    • hayeksplosives

      Cliff’s Notes version for those who haven’t followed:

      This dude swam for men’s teams in college for 2 years. Then took testosterone “suppressing” hormones for 1-2 years as required by NCAA rule—NOTE: they don’t require testing to see if the testosterone actually dropped.

      He didn’t cut off his wedding tackle, he still dates women, he gets to “let it all hang out” in the women’s locker room and by anonymous (grain of salt) teammates, seems to get a kick outback of the intimidation factor.

      Now he beats all the chicks because he says he’s a girl. But he could quit the hormones and go back to being a guy, marrying a chick, fathering children, as soon as he’s done swimming and getting attention.

      I might believe he actually had gender dismorphia if he got that Adam’s apple reduced. And the testicles.

      • Brochettaward

        No breasts there. He’s not even trying, outside growing his hair a bit longer.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yup. I don’t doubt that he has mental health issues, but he is trolling the American competitive swim world at this point.

        I do like the fact that he can’t break Katie Ledecky’s swim records 🙂

        Marina Navratilova has spoken out against this shit, and the LGBTQ community has no idea how to react to her.

      • hayeksplosives

        Brook Forde came in fourth. She should have been on the podium getting a bronze, and possibly a scholarship renewal.

        Nope. “Team player” Lia denied her that.

    • Ted S.

      Too bad the cheerleaders are forced to wear masks.

    • hayeksplosives

      So if we quit testing, we won’t even know?

  31. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    yo whats goody

    TALL CANS!

    • Don escaped Texas

      goofing off

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, homey, Don, HE, and Sean! Local weather report, but by golly, I’m going to get Tranquility Base tidied up and opened for the season this weekend!!

      • UnCivilServant

        Good morning.

        I’ve “Called in remote” for today because I am not in any real shape to commute. I wish it were because of rampant st patty’s day festivities, but it’s not.

      • Gender Traitor

        I hope by “not in any real shape to commute,” you just mean “tired,” not “ill.” ? Aren’t you due for some comp time anyway?

      • UnCivilServant

        sort of.

        Officially, I can bank against the coming week’s after hours work because it’s a new pay period, so anything done tuesday and wednesday were last pay period. I also used a lot of it pre-emptively.

      • Gender Traitor

        I bet you ended up working longer than you “pre-comped.” Hope you’ve at least been able to catch up on some sleep.

    • UnCivilServant

      Am I going to be stuck voting Astorino?

      • Ghostpatzer

        Probably. In other news, yesterday I got an email from a recruiter about some kind of Orable gig in the Albany area, sounded suspiciously like your shop. Y’all hiring?

      • UnCivilServant

        Yes, Actually. Both state employees and consultants.

      • Gender Traitor

        Is that a superhero?

        Good morning, ‘patzie!

      • UnCivilServant

        No, he’s a recurring Republican “Also Ran” for Ny Gov.

      • rhywun

        I see a lot of commercials for some other guy. Zeldin?

        Maybe he’ll be the new perennial also-ran.

    • Ted S.

      The “They should get essential jobs” response to the people his ukases put out of work would, in a sane world, have been enough to sink his political career. But he opposed Trump, so such sociopathic comments were cheered on by the media.

  32. Festus

    When I was a wee bit one of the channels used to run movies like this on Saturday night – https://youtu.be/Nd7XmpfMk-I They called it “Suspense Theater”

    • Tres Cool

      Growing up here, we had “Shock Theater” hosted by Dr. Creep.

      GT knows.

      • Festus

        To be Faaaair, they also played a shit-ton of Hammer stuff. They even had a second run called “Suspense Theater II” I would stay up until 3:00 watching that dreck and then have nightmares. Good times!

    • R.J.

      I love the Twonky. More relevant every year

      • Festus

        “Ze Twonky is something that you do not understand!” Still branded into my brain 50 years later.

    • Tres Cool

      One time I was driving home from a bar and got pulled over by a dyslexic cop.
      He gave me an IUD.

      • Festus

        Coulda been worse.

    • Gender Traitor

      Washington Township??? What were they looking for? Soccer moms squiffy on green Chardonnay?

      • R C Dean

        “Soccer moms squiffy on green Chardonnay”

        I’m intrigued. Go on . . . .

  33. Festus

    The cute, chirpy Supervisor was at work yesterday. She’ll be there all next week so I got that going for me…

    • Festus

      She makes the most adorable sounds when you speak with her. Almost like a chipmunk!