Corrector Novus Occidentis – 10

by | Mar 15, 2022 | Fiction | 208 comments

The Second Seal is Broken – part II

An Isolated Incident IIIIII The First Seal is Broken IIIIII, IV, V The Second Seal is Broken Part I

The Corrector Novus Occidentis was like a rock that had been dropped into a pond. The surface disturbance from the impact rippled outward, and not just a single wave, but the concentric, repeating pattern. The physics are terribly complicated, three dimensional fluid dynamics and surface tension binding molecules together, including as the rock sinks. The mechanics of all that are well beyond even most adults, but nearly all are captivated by the pattern. The CNO attacks were a series of such disturbances, driven by increasing large rocks disrupting the otherwise placid surface. Beneath that surface, wave refraction was at work; at the pond edges wave reflections took place. Seemingly calm water became quite turbulent and where the pond bottom was soft, all manner of particles danced in suspension in the water; what had been clear was now muddy.

Initially the attacks had struck corruption in the form of police using asset forfeiture, then branched out to others who participated in that activity. The court officers were a particularly sensitive nerve, as judges are generally believed to be impartial and honest. It takes exceptional circumstances to flip opinion on a prosecutor from zealous (and ambitious) to dangerous (and a threat to the innocent, not just the guilty). Curiously, people who’s property had been seized became more insistent on getting it back, and the courts suddenly found less justification for denying them. Actual forfeiture operations by law enforcement had reduced to a trickle, even though only a fraction of the people involved across the country had been targeted. The correction was severe, but effective. Would it be lasting, or if CNO was cracked and broken, how quickly would it all roar back?

CNO had acknowledged publicly the danger in what they had undertaken, and that though they were acting, the acts were not an end but a means. It was a means to a restoration of real justice, paradoxically by unjust means. This of course was an inversion of our notions of justice and governance, that the ends do not justify the means; then again, our system of justice and governance, of accountability on the part of those who act in power was itself inverted. This was all about the absence of accountability on the part of those who had taken on power.

Those in power watched with dismay as public opinion didn’t respond to the narrative they crafted. CNO had also crafted a narrative, using the words and actions of those they killed to justify the killings. It was damnably effective. CNO eluded not just apprehension – they avoided public condemnation; even the blatant law-breaking failed to infuriate the public, though it was driving those in power half-mad. The left-leaning faction were beside themselves, for this wasn’t their revolution; the law-and-order right could condemn the loss of order, but it was a little tough to do when the laws they wanted to defend were patently unjust. The process-loving moderates couldn’t believe that symbols couldn’t be manipulated to counter acts. There was one simple thing that united all of them – bust CNO – with extreme prejudice. It is unlikely that they appreciated the irony in that. That pressure would only encourage the kind of gray-zone (in the realm of law) tactics that were so clearly utilized in the asset forfeiture system that precipitated the whole situation. Blind with power it is easy to lose sight of what legitimates power in the first place. People subject to the abuse of power have an entirely different perspective.

Now one reason politicians get excited about something is they fear how it will be used against them in the upcoming election. The administrative state tends be more sanguine, after all, it weathers all political winds; it endures as office-holders come, and go. The denizens know they are for all intents and purposes, untouchable; and if there is political cover both from Administration and Congress, there’s really nothing they can’t do with impunity. Thus, everything CNO stood for was what they were against, and no component of the vast federal bureaucracy was unwilling to do its part in crushing these dangerous people (and their even more dangerous idea). It is the state that metes out justice, and only the state that decides what is just. In the minds of these otherwise phlegmatic folk, nothing is more just than them enjoying their careers in peace, and that peace had been greatly disturbed.

One such example of operating out of normal bounds was about to play out. Since the FBI had been unable to penetrate CNO, they schemed to create a parallel entity that they could use to discredit the real one. It did turn out that they had some difficulty in finding a set of rubes to be used, for it seems that many who would normally be keen for such were content to sit back and let CNO do the terrible deeds. But with a little patience and luck, some enthusiasts were found amongst the usual rabble, and they were formed into a suitable scapegoat (under a leadership that would vanish at a critical moment). Agent Regan was briefed into this operation because of his detection of the media timing and mechanisms that CNO employed. A false missive would be created and released through the right channel at the right time after this group had perpetrated its attack to make it appear it was part of a CNO wave. It was now merely a matter of waiting for the next move by CNO to spring this false flag and rebalance the equation.

And so the day came, and the plan was put into motion, as CNO exacted accountability from those who had used power unjustly, that another attack – apparently by CNO (but not) – was executed and it went badly awry (which was actually as planned by the real planners). The scapegoats transformed into sacrificial lambs, guilty of terminal gullibility and were killed by those who had led them to the slaughter. They did manage to kill a couple of innocent bystanders as well. Frank Regan was given the signal to release the false CNO claim about the attack, which he did, not knowing what had really happened. Nearly simultaneously, the FBI announced a heroic take-down of a CNO cell in the course of an attack. Frank watched the news incredulously, trying to tie what he knew with what he said (in the false release) with what actually happened. What he didn’t quite know was that the actual planners were current and former FBI agents, who had killed not just some stooges they had set up, but innocent people at the scene as well and that that had been their plan all along.

About The Author

juris imprudent

juris imprudent

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." --Winston Churchill

208 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    You’re making me angry.

    You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

    • Ted S.

      We don’t like you when you’re not angry.

      • Tulip

        That’s mean, but I laughed. Sorry Bro.

      • Ted S.

        To be fair, I would have made that joke about most of you.

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s just because you don’t like anyone.

        That’s okay.

      • MikeS

        At least you didn’t drop one of those shitty music links like you normally do.

  2. DEG

    under a leadership that would vanish at a critical moment

    Who is Ray Epps?

    • blackjack

      “You are not being detained.”

      “AM I BEING…nevermind.”

      • blackjack

        Ooops, this was meant for the Project Veritas comment.

  3. hayeksplosives

    You had me at fluid dynamics.

    Seriously, outstanding writing and storyline.

    MOAR

    • juris imprudent

      Amusing that RC, you and I should publish some rather close thoughts.

      • hayeksplosives

        Particularly since we all submitted our writings before we saw what the others had written this week!

      • juris imprudent

        Yep, as I read his and yours I was chuckling to myself knowing what I had already queued up.

    • R.J.

      I enjoyed it as well. Keep going!

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      Fluid dynamics engineers and aerodynamic engineers are the high priests in the airplane world. It’s a dark art and makes no sense to me.
      That’s why I’m a mecha-nickel enginerd.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        Steel STRONG! Steel PREDICTABLE!
        Aluminum STRONG! Aluminum PREDICTABLE!
        Carbon fiber STRONG! Carbon fiber somewhat PREDICTABLE!

      • hayeksplosives

        Fluid dynamics somewhat predictable with a good finite element analysis program if the user puts in appropriate boundary conditions, initial conditions, and has 48 hours or more to spare on a multi core computer.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I had one semester of FD in college as an introduction. In my senior year of EE I dealt with 3×3 matrices of three-variable partial differential equations.

        It still made more sense to me than fluid dynamics.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        I have a billboard sized banner in my lab that says “One test is worth a thousand expert opinions.”

        Kid engineer says “The FEM analysis on this part shows negative margin here and here.”

        I look at the part with my decades of farm-boy experience and say, “I think she’s good, let’s put ‘er to the test!”

        9 outta 10 times I’m correct: The test passes. Unfortunately, when I’m wrong, I’m spectacularly wrong (as in almost killing a test spectator).

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        I have learned to limit spectators. Fewer targets.

      • MikeS

        I would love to see carbon fiber fail spectacularly.

      • MikeS

        I meant in person, but until Nick gives me an engraved invitation, Gustave’s link does nicely.

        Bonus – the buffalo horn was pretty cool.

      • Not an Economist

        I somewhat disagree that Computational Fluid Dynamics (CFD) is similar to finite element analysis (FEA). CFD works with volumes and FEA works more with points. There is still a fair amount we don’t understand (turbulence) and as a result while steady state CFD calculations are usually okay (as long as the grid is accurate which is more of an art than science although it is getting closer). Dynamically, things are still kind of iffy. For a lot of things, you still need to do real world testing, either with models or full scale if you can swing it (wind tunnels are fascinating and extremely expensive — large tunnels usually have more work than they can handle).

        Air is a little weird. One way to clear up airflow is to put a small bump in the way.

      • Sensei

        Carbon fiber STRONG! Carbon fiber somewhat PREDICTABLE!

        Carbon fiber composite construction failures always look quite strange to me.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        They are spectacularly LOUD!

    • R.J.

      “I have a medical condition, when detained, that causes me to flood the room with the gaseous remnants of last night’s Taco Bell feast…. Oh dear, you appeared to have triggered something…”
      Also a good idea to always keep loaded mousetraps in unused drawers. It always worked for me in public offices.

      • Fourscore

        Used drawers might hold some surprises as well.

      • R.J.

        Yes. My itching bramble experiment and grow light is in the long drawer on the left, and the other drawer is where I breed wolf spiders for fly abatement.

      • Tulip

        Ha!

    • Homple

      I read the Vladimir Putin routinely sends his secret police after “troublesome” journalists. I think we must now go to war with his country.

  4. rhywun

    Things are about to get… a little more complicated.

    No shit.

    Nice!

  5. Fourscore

    I thought you were supposed to be writing fiction, JI, that’s what it says up top. Unexpected but not unheard of, Thanks, things we’ve read about and think ,
    “Oh no, that couldn’t be true”. You’re leading us down a path that we don’t want to go because we don’t want what we know we are going to find.

    • juris imprudent

      Right you are, although I don’t know all the twists and turns, the path leads somewhere, and it isn’t a happy ending.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        …it isn’t a happy ending.

        WELL FUCK!

      • R C Dean

        Dude. Spoiler alert?

      • blackjack

        Meh, Biden already extended my personal 9 hours a day mandate for another month. Related, the CA legislature just nixed the idea of ending our state of emergency, because our state is an emergency unto itself, I guess. Oh, and my kid might be the last one to have his burka mandated, thanks to the LAUSD. Starting to think the drastically lower wages and oppressive heat of Florida might be tolerable, after all.

    • rhywun

      Two nays from NYS – I am shocked!

    • rhywun

      PS. What are the mechanics here? Can Congress actually overturn the emperors unlawful diktats?!

      • Sean

        Random judge: “No.”

  6. hayeksplosives

    “ they avoided public condemnation; even the blatant law-breaking failed to infuriate the public”

    I wish this were true but I think not enough people are aware of asset forfeiture and how it affects the innocent. I think that will change as the government, giddy with the new power of freezing assets and using audits as weapons, affects more and more ordinary people.

    I have seen articles about mom and pop joints getting their accounts frozen due to making large cash deposits, as one does at the end of a workday at any store.

    We need some high profile celebrity and some sympathetic real victims to tell their story on Netflix or something to reach the masses. But neither Netflix nor Amazon wants the “little guy” to compete.

    • juris imprudent

      And Fourscore doesn’t think this is fiction. [evil grin]

      I feeding red meat to carnivores, and you’re right, there’s a lot of plant eaters out there.

    • MikeS

      I worry that even if the word did get out, a movement crushing percentage of those that don’t yet know will have opinions along three or so lines of thought:

      “Meh, it can’t be happening often enough for me to go out of my way to try and stop it”
      and/or
      “If they’d follow the rules this wouldn’t happen”
      and/or
      “Why would anyone carry that much cash? I bet they did something wrong and deserve what they got”.

    • rhywun

      not enough people are aware of asset forfeiture and how it affects the innocent

      Yeah, that stuck out to me too.

      articles about mom and pop joints getting their accounts frozen

      One of the great sorceries both parties practice is somehow convincing the American people that they give a shit about the average citizen when in fact they hate them.

  7. juris imprudent

    I’m [dammit]

    • rhywun

      [redacted]?

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      cumming!

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      cumming!

      • MikeS

        Whoa, big boy. Save some for later.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        Squirrels are having orgasms, too!

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        {Oprah}: You get an orgasm.
        {Oprah, points in a different direction}: You get an orgasm.
        {Oprah, points in a different direction}: You get an orgasm…

    • juris imprudent

      Inadvertantly Brooksed it.

  8. The Bearded Hobbit

    CNO hits on a very good point: The hopelessness of ordinary people.

    What can I do? My vote is meaningless. I will never be allowed to sit in a jury. I’m not terribly inclined to kill anyone, even a politician.

    I think that this is a common ailment.

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      My vote is meaningless.

      I agree. https://www.glibertarians.com/2020/10/in-defense-of-not-voting/

      I will never be allowed to sit in a jury.

      I was. I am ashamed to admit that I sat on a jury and I found the defendant guilty for “storing vermin enticing building materials on his own property”. The judge was a dick. The plaintiff was a dick. The defendant was a dick. Still… I rode by the defendant’s property afterwards, he was building a house and his neighbor didn’t want her views ruined.

      I’m not terribly inclined to kill anyone…

      Me neither, but I have been tempted to thump them upside the head a time or two.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I think that I would like to sit on a jury. I’m retired and don’t have a lot of other obligations in the way so it probably wouldn’t interfere with my daily affairs and I’ve seen enough “Perry Mason” episodes to think that it might be interesting. I truly believe that a legal system is necessary, if for nothing else than “my neighbor’s cow broke my fence and ate my hay” type of disputes. And a jury of citizens beats a government stooge hands-down.

        Where it gets more sticky is the criminal code. Divide on personal and property crimes vs. diktats . If there is a victim then I would be a fair and impartial juror. In the second case I would have a very difficult time to not be prejudiced.

        Again, doesn’t matter. As fast as I can say “jury nullification” I would be escorted out of the courthouse.

      • UnCivilServant

        Before you think it’s interesting, go to Rikeita law’s channel and watch the popcorn shooter trial streams. That will give you a better idea of what you’d be in for as a juror. When you get sick of that trial, watch the Edgecomb streams, it’s a far more entertaining trial.

    • MikeS

      Civic ennui.

    • rhywun

      My one chance to get on a jury, I was immediately excused when they found out I work in the insurance industry.

  9. Trigger Hippie

    Beautifully written, ji. The first paragraph was damn near poetry. The evolution of your writing skills are noticable since the beginning of the series. I envoy you.

    ‘Now one reason politicians get excited about something is they fear how it will be used against them in the upcoming election. The administrative state tends be more sanguine, after all, it weathers all political winds; it endures as office-holders come, and go. The denizens know they are for all intents and purposes, untouchable; and if there is political cover both from Administration and Congress, there’s really nothing they can’t do with impunity.’

    *drunken recall*

    Didn’t Czar Nicholas II say something to the effect of believing himself Emperor only to discover that the Empire was controlled by thousands of bureaucrats?

    The U.S. Congress are the new Boyars. Hopelessly self-serving, greedy, and more powerless by the minute. Happy to be left alone in their own fiefdoms until the whole thing collapses.

    • Trigger Hippie

      envoy…

      Fuuuuck!

      Yeah, I’m votiing on the Glib Rule being not seeing errors before posting…the booze and weed don’t help.

    • The Hyperbole

      The first paragraph was damn near poetry

      This I was expecting a “Chapter 31” kind of thing. Didn’t quite go there but still damn fine writing.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Agreed. My only criticism is the outcome is….too unrealistic, optimistic, The ending rushed? I don’t know. Or perhaps I’m misreading this as the end over the series when it’s just a bit voice over narrator exposition to move the story forward.

        *rereads*

        I’m betting on just moving the story forward. Still, I’d love to see the details fleshed out into a short novel.

  10. Shpip

    Florida drops the ball on Constitutional Carry, Georgia picks it up and runs with it.

    To be fair to the Florida legislature, 2A stuff is typically way down on their priority list. And having gotten the Skittlehairs all riled up over the dishonestly-portrayed “ne’er say queer” bill, they probably didn’t need the soccer moms and pearl clutchers getting the vapors by passing legislation that would, in the words of every big-city media outlet, allow tweakers, gangbangers, and Florida man to pack heat, no questions asked. Why court trouble in an election year? And what are Second Amendment advocates going to do about it — vote Democrat?

  11. grrizzly

    Kamala’s husband got covid.

    Hahaha hahaha!

    • Gender Traitor

      I’m sure that was her sincerely concerned reaction, too.

    • MikeS

      “So, Doug is a large organism living in Washington, DC. COVID is a smaller organism, but COVID is a powerful organism. COVID decided to invade a weaker organism, called Doug. So, basically, that’s wrong, and it goes against everything that we stand for.”

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        Dude! I think I love you!

    • Sean

      What kind of loser gets covid after two years of lock down?

  12. R.J.

    Well, second tornado alert tonight in Kissimee. I can only imagine Disney getting hit and the costumed Mickey Mouses flying all over. Sadly my bourbon is outside of this laundry room.

    • Gender Traitor

      Please be safe!

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        Dude, you’re in Florida. Embrace your inner (temporary) Florida man.
        Drink a bottle of Blue Curacao and piss your pants.
        Attempt to have sex with a manatee. + 100 if you succeed!
        Rob a bank.
        Go skinny dipping with the sharks and man-o-wars.

      • UnCivilServant

        Is it true that Manatees are no longer endangered?

      • Gender Traitor

        They are if the sex is not consensual.

      • R.J.

        Are we talking about the swimming mammal or the ones that walk around Disney wearing inappropriate spandex?
        *Thank you ladies and gents, I’ll be here all week.

      • UnCivilServant

        Is the land manatee smaller than a landwhale?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Pretty sure Tres is at work right now. Ask again before the morning links.

      • R.J.

        Indeed. See comment below regarding manatees.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Don’t do the Blue Curaçao thing.

        I was there that night. It’s not a good look.

      • R.J.

        So far it all seems to be missing this lovely rental condo. There are a pair of overly excited weathermen who took over MeTv and have been so very excited about this whole ordeal that I expected a tent when they faced camera.

      • UnCivilServant

        Interrupting VIT? Oh, the Huge Manatee!

      • R.J.

        *Sends in request for “narrowed gaze, level 1”

      • R.J.

        I could make a case that Hogan’s Heroes was at a pivotal moment.

      • MikeS

        Was Sgt. Schultz about to discover an escape plan only to be bought off with a small bottle of schnapps?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Never! But apple strudel…

      • R.J.

        No, a dud bomb had just landed in the camp, and Hogan kicked it and it started ticking. Then the inappropriately excited weathermen returned with their tent pants.

      • UnCivilServant

        Now I’m reminded of Werner Klemperer’s cameo on Batman as Colonel Klink, and the dialog seemed to indicate that the PoWs were still held at Stalag 13, even though in the Batman show the war would have been over for twenty years…

      • R.J.

        Hey. It’s a living! The prisoners get three squares a day and all the Germans they can spoof! Why leave? To join the cubicle revolution? Better just stay put.

      • rhywun

        I would make fun of you watching MeTV except I’m watching Roseanne on Cozi.

      • R.J.

        I have yet to descend to using a motorized mobility scooter. Those things are everywhere here. BTW:
        COZI=40 years old
        MeTv=50 years old

  13. UnCivilServant

    Fun fun fun.

    Twas supposed to be a simple cutover in nonprod. Of course everything has gone to shit and we’re hunting the root causes.

    • rhywun

      I’m on five work days with boss in India on emergency. He is my only protection from boss-boss who is a micromanagement freak and I don’t know how to deal with that one without blowing my top. I almost lost it today.

      “We can’t be bouncing services in dev.”

      “Wut. [Other person] was testing the fifteenth patch you’ve made us install after telling us there would be no more patches this year.”

      Gahhh!

      • UnCivilServant

        Developers work in dev. But then again I get the impression that you are a developer. For me to pull the services out from under the devs is one thing, for the devs to defenistrate themselves with a rug pull is another.

      • rhywun

        Bouncing each service takes literally two seconds and Mr. fellow developer knows not to do it when jobs are active. It’s ridiculous on its face but boss-boss watches the health report all day (he told us this) so any time he sees something restart – even in dev – he freaks out.

        What’s even more ridiculous is that most devs do their work on locally installed servers. There is not a lot of activity on the dev servers in question.

    • UnCivilServant

      Well, we finally got the issues resolved.

      Why do these always take until midnight?

    • Sean

      I sent an email yesterday to people we work for containing a you are #fakenews accusation. Today should be fun.

  14. The Hyperbole

    Finally, Giraffe has become the standard unit of measurement.

    • MikeS

      ‘The impact made no damage, falling into the sea between Norway to Iceland. However, just imagine it would have crashed a few hours earlier over Russia.

      ‘With the ongoing crisis, would Russia have identified it as an asteroid or as a rocket, and returned fire with its own missiles?’

      Returned fire to where? Calm your tits, space nerd.

    • rhywun

      ‘With the ongoing crisis, would Russia have identified it as an asteroid or as a rocket, and returned fire with its own missiles?’

      OFFS.

      • hayeksplosives

        Strange game. The only way to win is….
        Not to play.

    • Tundra

      Which half?

    • one true athena

      I guess ‘the size of a pony’ was too cliche for this person’s editor, so they came up with ‘half a giraffe’. Or this writer lost a bet and had to stick ‘half a giraffe’ in a column somehow.

    • straffinrun

      That’s a stretch.

    • slumbrew

      I LOL’d

  15. straffinrun

    The means justify the ends IYKWIMAITYD

    • straffinrun

      Hour and half zoom meeting.

      Boss: Sorry that went so long. Thanks for taking all those notes.

      Me: No problem.

      My notes: https://ibb.co/j36hHYF

      • Tundra

        You are the best ever.

      • straffinrun

        Misthread. Oops.

      • Tundra

        Still best.

      • hayeksplosives

        When I was the 24 year old junior engineer on big project, I could see all the big swinging-dick male engineers were jockeying for position and trying to outdo each other.

        I volunteered to be the note taker, and the dudes agreed unanimously; after all, I was just a girl.

        I manipulated the outcome of every meeting from then to now by taking notes in the way I felt the decisions should be made. I furnished the results to all, and they always endorsed them. He (she) who writes the history…

        To this day, it’s the way I get done what needs to be done when thrown into a near of narcissists.

      • hayeksplosives

        A nest of narcissists

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        +1 pink ribbon

      • straffinrun

        An invisible rudder. I like it.

      • R C Dean

        There’s a reason the two hardwired corporate offices, by law, are Secretary and Treasurer.

      • Ted S.

        I would have just drawn a dick and balls.

  16. hayeksplosives

    “ they were formed into a suitable scapegoat (under a leadership that would vanish at a critical moment).”

    Brilliant and provocative.

    • Sean

      Nothing, and “it stays there.” 🙄

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Don’t try to sell stolen secrets to allies unless they’re Israel should be the lesson here.

  17. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody

    • Sean

      Dude…

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      That’s nice of them. Do the drivers get a stipend for puke cleanup?

  18. Sean

    Mornin everyone. Time to get ready for work.

    *Kif sigh*

    • UnCivilServant

      Morning.

      I made it to the office. I’m running on… too little sleep. But I’m here.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean, U, & homey!

      It occurred to me that today, the big boss is off, and my boss is WFH. I’m going to be a rebel and NOT wear corporate logo wear with my jeans at the office. Woo hoo.

      • UnCivilServant

        Morning, GT.

        I’m staring at resumes for developers and my brain is glazing over. My reaction is “What terrible candidates” then I remember, we’re trying to fill developer positions, not infrastructure. So I start over, and my brain glazes over…

        Ever have to do any hiring?

      • Gender Traitor

        No, I have been content to leave myself low enough on the ladder that I’ve never had to deal with that. I have a hard enough time reminding people that just because I process our payroll doesn’t mean I’m HR.

        You have my deepest sympathy. ?

      • UnCivilServant

        If I’d gone directly to sleep after last night’s after hours work I’d probably be in better shape.

        I actually have no problem with the interviewing, candidate evaluation, and hiring paperwork from my post. The hard part is remembering that this round of hires isn’t for my team.

      • UnCivilServant

        … Look, [Candidate], you graduated in 1998. I don’t give a crap if you were on the dean’s list in college. I certainly don’t are that you were in the French Club in college. It’s not something that needs to be on a resume for a computer programming position in 2022. What you were doing in those 24 years in between is more important.

      • Gender Traitor

        Points off for putting the year on. And certainly for padding with completely unrelated extracurriculars. ?

      • UnCivilServant

        Sad part is, there are plenty of relevant jobs that could be expanded upon, but which are scant on details. I don’t know who taught [Candidate] how to write a resume, but they’re not doing themselves any favors.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, I should probably drop “Education” from mine entirely. I got it down to one line and with no dates but really who cares.

      • UnCivilServant

        Our bureaucrats. If you don’t have that checkbox checked you could lose points and might not reach my desk for actual evaluation.

        But then again, I doubt you’d apply for a post with our group.

      • rhywun

        If you don’t have that checkbox checked you could lose points and might not reach my desk for actual evaluation.

        Good point. Maybe that’s why the resume consultant had me leave it in.

      • Ghostpatzer

        “Yeah, I should probably drop “Education” from mine entirely.”

        Same here, since no one cares about my HS career. Funny how the right piece of paper trumps 38 years of experience; there are shops that won’t consider someone without a degree.

      • Tres Cool

        As a former office manager, there is nothing I loathed more than doing what you’re doing. Reading resumes and trying to select from the few turds that managed to float to the top of the bowl.

      • rhywun

        I’ve had to interview a few times – hated every minute of it.

        Always offshore folks who don’t like to talk and I’m wondering what level of English competency I’ll be dealing with… ugh.

      • Tres Cool

        In your line of work Id expect thick accents at the minimum to be a barrier.
        In the back of my head I was always thinking, “So you have a degree, but you’re stupid enough to climb a smokestack in all weather (no lightning), stay on it for at least 1/2 a day if not all day? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
        Also, Id get degreed engineers applying for an entry level position, and requesting $60K salaries.

        Me: “Do you have any experience in air testing or the methods in 40 CFR, Part 60, Appendix A ?”
        Them: “Uhhh…no. Im a civil engineer”
        Me: “If you’re willing to put up with the job I can start you @ $17.50/hr”
        Them: “uhhh….Im an engineer”
        Me: “So?”

      • Sean

        Ever have to do any hiring?

        “Tell me about this felony box you checked.”

      • UnCivilServant

        Not necessarily a disqualification for our work. It depends on the felony.

      • R.J.

        Yes. HR does a terrible job of pre sorting candidates most times. Guy with college degree who job skips every 4 months-Recommend! Guy with 15 years experience in his field and no college degree – Reject!

    • Gender Traitor

      Can’t get past the nag-o-gram that pops up, but I gather some Einstein thinks that “lighter later” = “lighter longer”?

      And good morning, Stinky!

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t care if their reasoning is dumb, so long as the actual effect of the legislation is to pick a time and stick with it.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Passed unanimously (house remains though)…the sun won’t go down until after 2200 in my neck of the woods in the summer. Looks like it might be time to change my work hours. And good morning.

  19. Tres Cool

    I got off work early, and since I failed to plan ahead got myself into a no-shit Code Red Beer Crisis.
    It was 0515, Kroger was closed, and the a-rab asshole cashier at my Speedway (GT knows the one) wouldn’t sell until 0600.
    Who knew there was such a stupid law?

    • Gender Traitor

      Ugh! Creepy Speedway? I try to avoid it if at all possible. If forced to gas up there, I prefer to do so at the outside pump (and paying at the pump, of course) right by the exit for a speedy (see what I did there??) getaway.

      • Tres Cool

        The one on Main, not on down by the interstate.

      • Gender Traitor

        Yup – that’s the one. Sorry, don’t care for it. Is it very bad of me to wish the tornado had taken it out instead of…well…just about anything else?

      • Tres Cool

        How the Wendy’s remained mostly unscathed and it leveled both Donato’s and the gas station is beyond me.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Putin: “Russian men manly, no need little blue pill”

  20. Ghostpatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates. DST is silly. If you really need to maximize daylight, spend half the year in Alaska and the other half in Tierra del Fuego. Problem solved.

  21. Festus

    On Topic – This is getting more fapastic by the week!

    • Tres Cool

      You must’ve seen the same vid I did on pr0nhub where the midget was doing stuff with a 2 liter pepsi bottle.

      Change your life.

    • Tres Cool

      If the Carpet Python licks the carpet, does that make it….oh, never mind.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Trouser Snake?

  22. rhywun

    Rangers fans boo Gov. Hochul during ceremonial puck drop at MSG

    LOL

    “Misogyny is alive and well in nyc,” one person wrote on Twitter.

    Stupidity is alive and well on Twitter.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Surprised they didn’t boo Shesterkin, aren’t all Russians evil?

      • rhywun

        Yeah, let’s get rid of both starting goalies and one of our top scorers. That’ll show Putin!

      • Festus

        Ovetchkin seems iron-clad.

  23. Festus

    Speaking to the above thread – I can’t imagine striving for a job, nowadays. My resume has too many blank spots. I am well and truly fucked.

  24. Sean

    I only saw one person flip me the bird on my way to work today.

    I’ll try harder tomorrow.

    • Festus

      I actually did that this morning, twice. Once for the asshole behind me after we we were stuck at the level crossing that gave me the high beams and again at the the slug that was holding up traffic. The dude followed me for about five miles. I thought that I might have to break a broomstick off in his ass.

      • Sean

        ?

      • Festus

        RMF has nothing on me.

      • R C Dean

        In Tucson, flipping someone off while driving is not only pointless, it can get you shot.

        So I don’t do it.