IFLA: The “Lopsided” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of March 6

by | Mar 6, 2022 | IFLA | 102 comments

Lily and Banks wrestle

 

This week continues the trend of the last two, being choc-a-bloc with yummy chewy portents, and then… suddenly emptying out into the cold vacuum of space between the stars.

This week begins by retaining the Mars/Venus conjunction (which necessarily means that they’re aligned with the Earth).  Usually, the focal point of any construction is the Earth because that’s where we live, duh.  But in this case, the focus is Mars (war).  This arm of the construction (hausfrau, love of home, love at home, gardening, brothel) continues until Thursday.  Also focusing on the war, Mars is in an additional alignment (at an amplifying angle to the first arm) with the Sun (power, growth, burning, truth) and Mercury (luck, magic, news, chaos).  But this arm of the construction only endures through Tuesday.  That’s when a new catnip mouse gets tossed in front of the media?  But wait, there’s more!  On Monday, both of these are linked together by the planet Saturn (endings, time, slowness, death) via us from the first and Mercury from the second.  That’s five of the seven planets involved.  Can we get more?  I’m glad you asked.   Very briefly, at the very beginning of this we get the moon in opposition.  So the tides will have delayed whatever naval maneuvers will have been going on here, but only for a day.  Maximum intensity/complexity occurs on Monday, and begins breaking up by Tuesday.  By Friday, none of the planets are even on speaking terms with each other.

 

ZOOM!

 

Otherwise, it’s all about the aquatic life.  Aquarius starts off the week gaining the Venus/Mars conjunction so all sorts of good stuff.  It also holds on to Mercury for the first part of the week, but on Wednesday it crosses over into Pisces.  That day will be an absolute bonanza for Pisces which is already having a pretty great month, what with hosting Jupiter and all.  If you’re going to place bets, Wednesday is the day to do it.  Also a fantastic day for fishing.

 

Lily pins Daisy without too much trouble.

 

Pisces:  3 of Swords – This card just sucks.  I ‘mean it’s not as bad as The Devil or The Tower, but as far as minors go, this is pretty much just “everything is shitty.”

Aries:  Justice – Equity, rightness, probity, executive, triumph of the deserving side in law.

Taurus:  5 of Coins reversed – Disorder, chaos, ruin, discord, profligacy.

Gemini:  10 of Wands – Oppression, fortune, gain, any kind of success — and then it is the oppression of these things. False-seeming, disguise, perfidy.

Cancer:  Knight of Swords – Skill, bravery, capacity, defense, address, enmity, wrath, war, destruction, opposition, resistance, ruin.

Leo:  10 of Coins – Gain, riches; family matters, archives, extraction, the abode of a family.

Virgo:  The Emperor reversed – Benevolence, compassion, credit, confusion to enemies, obstruction, immaturity.

Libra:  Death – End, mortality, destruction, corruption, the loss of a benefactor, many contrarieties, failure of marriage projects.

Scorpio:  7 of Coins – Money, business, barter, altercation, quarrels, innocence, ingenuity, purgation.

Sagittarius:  8 of Coins reversed – Voided ambition, vanity, cupidity, exaction, usury, a skilled enemy.

Capricorn:  Ace of Swords – Triumph, the excessive degree in everything, great force in love as well as in hatred.

Aquarius:  The Magician reversed – Physician, Magus, mental disease, disgrace, disquiet.

 

This is Denver, one of the next wave of puppies. Not to be confused with Aspen, who is a three-legged pit bull.

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

102 Comments

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    Virgo: The Emperor reversed – Benevolence, compassion, credit, confusion to enemies, obstruction, immaturity.
    All that at once,? that’s confusing alright

  2. Don escaped Texas

    Gemini: 10 of Wands – Oppression, fortune, gain, any kind of success — and then it is the oppression of these things. False-seeming, disguise, perfidy.

    join TRUTH social! – DJT45

    • Don escaped Texas

      Scorpio: 7 of Coins – Money, business, barter, altercation, quarrels, innocence, ingenuity, purgation.

      I have a way to fight inflation! – JRB46

      • Not Adahn

        Giving Brandon a purgative does sound like a good idea.

      • Grumbletarian

        I’d vote for Janice Rogers-Brown for president.

    • Don escaped Texas

      Leo: 10 of Coins – Gain, riches; family matters, archives, extraction, the abode of a family.

      My wife comes first! – Van Taylor

  3. Not Adahn

    Thaw has begun. Blah. I had gotten used to not having a mudball living in my house.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      It rained all night, very heavy, so most of our snow is gone, yippee!

    • Tundra

      We went from 70 and sunny to cold and snowy in two days!

      We had to break the boots out again for the sheepdog. He gets cranky when the snow builds up in his paws.

      • Q Continuum

        Colorado. A couple of years ago, around this time of year we went from 74 to -6 in 24 hours. Many, many plants died.

      • dbleagle

        I picked the first beans, peas, and a tomato yesterday. High should be 81 with weak Kona winds. The racing today will be focused on finding the brief periods of more wind pressure.

      • Nephilium

        Skipped on going to play board games with the girlfriend to get in another bike ride today. Didn’t go as far as I wanted due to a brutal wind (over 20 MPH). Tonight and tomorrow, we’re supposed to drop back down into the teens with snow. It’s looking like another cold, wet St. Patrick’s Day (but with a parade again this year).

    • kinnath

      Mud season.

      Always a thrill with long-haired dogs.

      Just got back from Lowes with steel posts and plastic fence to keep the dogs out of the mud pit they have created along the wooden fence.

      I just love having to put up a fence to keep the dogs away from the fence.

      I do it every year. This year is early because of the warm weather and thunderstorms that rolled through yesterday. I was prepared for it this early.

      • Fourscore

        Probably too late now but if you need some steel posts I have a bunch, next time you visit. My dog in TX had a worn path around the fence.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I have a similar problem with the livestock. I have a fence around the house and they’ve worn a deep trench by walking around it. The pasture is uphill so all the water has been running downhill into the trench and making it deeper. The soil has eroded so badly that it’s affecting the fence posts. I dumped a bunch of pine logs branches and trunk pieces from a fallen tree as a temporary solution to keep them out of it.

        In a month, I’ll be pulling up the logs and filling in the trench with garden soil. Then planting a hedge of erosion control bushes. They have small spikes so I’m hoping the livestock won’t eat them. I’m going to put tomato cages on few just to prevent them from being trampled. A plastic fence might work instead though. I have about 400 feet to plant in, though only 30 feet or so is really bad.

  4. PieInTheSky

    Cancer: Knight of Swords – Skill, bravery, capacity, defense, address, enmity, wrath, war, destruction, opposition, resistance, ruin.

    Not the time dude

    • Sean

      I’ll take it.

      Better than pisces.

      • PieInTheSky

        Well you do not live on the border of the ukraine

      • Sean

        Worse, New Jersey.

  5. Tundra

    My happiness meter just pegged hard right.

    Are you kidding me with these pictures? Lily is clearly Queen of the Dog Park, but don’t sleep on Denver. He’s got potnetial!

    Leo: 10 of Coins – Gain, riches; family matters, archives, extraction, the abode of a family.

    Cool. I’ll take it. Thanks NA!

    • Not Adahn

      Walking with the pack and watching them run/jump/play is just joy. I did have the first refusal to recall in a month — I guess the chipmunks have come out of hibernation, because she found a burrow and had to be dragged away from it.

      • Tundra

        Lol.

        Chipmunk death squad.

        Always good to remember that there are forces more powerful in a dog’s world than our commands!

    • R C Dean

      The only event that I can see pulling that card together is the death of my parents. Inheritance, including their house, going through their records, and, yeah, a family matter.

      Pass.

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      My happiness meter just pegged hard right.

      Phrasing! That fruit hangs so low, I’m not even going to pick it!

      • slumbrew

        No kink-shaming!

        That’s between him and Mrs Tundra

      • westernsloper

        +1 dishwasher

  6. Animal

    Libra: Death – End, mortality, destruction, corruption, the loss of a benefactor, many contrarieties, failure of marriage projects.

    Let’s see: No, no, no, no, no no, hell no.

    • Tundra

      Thanks for the link. That was a solid essay.

    • Drake

      When I enlisted in 89, we were still training for a world war. They’d say things like ” the expected combat life of a Cobra is 13 seconds – have them pop-up, launch, and run.”

      All those rules got ignored and forgotten in the ensuing small wars.

    • Homple

      Thanks for that. It’s one of the most sensible things I’ve seen on the subject.

  7. Mojeaux

    Taurus: 5 of Coins reversed – Disorder, chaos, ruin, discord, profligacy.

    Yeah, that’s already happened when the week was supposed to be

    Taurus: The Sun – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment.

    .

    I want my money back.

  8. DEG

    Gain, riches; family matters, archives, extraction, the abode of a family.

    Not sufficiently shitty.

    • R C Dean

      Could be. See above.

  9. Sean

    https://mobile.twitter.com/JuliaDavisNews/status/1500505833859428354

    O.o

    “Russia’s state TV propagandists are already “predicting” that they will find documents proving that the Ukrainian government was building a “dirty nuclear bomb” at the Zaporizhzhia nuclear plant, meaning the Russians are creating some fake docs right now. ”

    They sure like tossing around the n word these days.

  10. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    <Aries: Justice – Equity, rightness, probity, executive, triumph of the deserving side in law.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      MFing posting from phone.

      Aries: Justice – Equity, rightness, probity, executive, triumph of the deserving side in law.

      I can hear the truckers on the Beltway right now

  11. Sean

    The storm has passed and the grill is heating up. ?

  12. juris imprudent

    Justice – Equity, rightness, probity, executive, triumph of the deserving side in law.

    I like it, I just didn’t write that into this week’s CNO.

  13. kinnath

    Pisces: 3 of Swords – This card just sucks.

    Awesome.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The retards are in charge.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      We just broke the 4$ mark up here, 4.09 to be exact. It goes up 10 cents every other day, we are so fucked.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        87 octane fuel

      • Animal

        We paid $4.63 a gallon yesterday. In Alaska. Where we are damn near surrounded by oil and natural gas.

        A week ago gas was around $3.50 a gallon, which is still a dollar a gallon more than a year ago. One local station had to raise their prices twice in one day last week.

        Let’s go, Brandon, indeed.

      • R C Dean

        High-test in Tucson (I forget – 92?) is up 50 – 60 cents in a week. I just paid $4.50/gallon.

        Yes, I left an “I did that” sticker on the pump.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That’s really going to incentivize people to go back to commuting just to sit at a cheap ass table and work on the same laptop they were at home.

      • DEG

        Regular prices are above $4/gallon at most gas stations I drove past this morning. I saw one or two at $3.999/gallon. Southern NH.

        I don’t remember the mid-grade or premium prices.

      • rhywun

        I just walked past $4.09 cash/$4.19 credit for regular in Brooklyn.

    • Gustave Lytton

      The retard who should have been court martialed and defrocked is slightly right. Fox News has been trying to gin up the China angle from the start of the Ukraine war. ‘They betrayed us by sharing intelligence with the Russians that we shared with them’, ignoring that China has no duty not pass on or discuss such info with the Russians, or that we shared intending that it got to the Russians.

  14. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Capricorn: Ace of Swords – Triumph, the excessive degree in everything, great force in love as well as in hatred.

    Describe my mood pretty well.

  15. Tres Cool

    Im kinda drunk, and since Im in the kitchen already I think Ill bake a cake to celebrate the warmer weather.
    Who likes pinapple upside-down ?

    • Tulip

      Me.

      • Tres Cool

        Hopefully the brown sugar I have hasn’t turned into a brick.

      • kinnath

        fucking typos

      • Tundra

        And me.

    • kinnath

      cake is fine, just leave out the pineapple.

      • Don escaped Texas

        ** somewhere a NSA analyst adds column to his Glib spreadsheet **

      • kinnath

        It’s not like I posted about “yellow cake”. That would get us on a list.

      • MikeS

        ** somewhere a NSA analyst adds column to his Glib spreadsheet **

        And mumbles to himself, “my god these people have issues”.

    • westernsloper

      #ketolifenot!

      • Sean

        He’s probably setting a sex trap for Jugsy and the cake is the bait.

      • Tres Cool

        Q: Is it hard to get a fat girl into bed?
        A: Nah- piece of cake

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      My canoe tripping specialty used to be pineapple upside down cake baked in a reflector oven next to the campfire.

      • Tulip

        Yum. Just need a skillet

    • Nephilium

      I’m a fan, but if I’m doing something with that much work, I’ve got a recipe for a caramel cardamom roll that takes a day or so but is so good.

      • Tulip

        Wait, pineapple upside down cake is one of the easiest.

      • Nephilium

        I’m including clean up as part of the work.

    • limey

      I don’t mind which way up the pineapple is as long as it’s cooked.

  16. kinnath

    Microsoft is pestering me to upgrade to Win11 for free.

    Has anyone taken that step yet? Is it good or bad?

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      I’ve mentioned before how much I dislike upgrades. I’m still griping about my Win7 box and I wish I could revert this Win10 machine I’m using back to 7.

      I miss XP.

    • Mojeaux

      Not until I have to.

      I needed a new laptop and it was extra to have it come with 7 so I sucked it up and went with 10.

      Use this utility. Makes it look (and almost function) like XP. It hasn’t been developed since 2017, but I prefer my utilities to stop changing so much. I discussed my utilities here.

    • Nephilium

      Nope. Current computer isn’t compatible, and I don’t see any advantage. I remember when Windows 10 was sold as the “last version”.

    • grrizzly

      I’ve upgraded my laptop to Win11. Very little difference from Win10. But for me all Windows operation systems looked the same since XP–as long as I can find the Start button.

    • R C Dean

      After watching Mrs. Dean deal with the Windows shitshow, my home computer will be a Mac mini. I’m already 2/3s in the Apple bubble (phone and tablet, but not computer), I might as well go all-in. Little to no business use, so not having Office is less of an issue.

      • slumbrew

        Office is available for Macs, if need be.

      • rhywun

        Welcome to the Borg.

  17. westernsloper

    …..perfidy.

    Seems on point on many fronts.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: 8 of Coins reversed – Voided ambition, vanity, cupidity, exaction, usury, a skilled enemy.

    *cancels flight to Kiev*

    • westernsloper

      The fuck?

    • limey

      What’s the context for this? Is the one on the right the current website? Are they having trouble recruiting drivers? Someone on here had a very unpleasant experience with a FedEx driver recently and I wondered if they were scraping the recruitment barrel.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I dunno, other than their coverage is shrinking. Eyeballing, it looks like the coverage percentage is population numbers. The decrease in geographic coverage looks like more than three percentage points.

        Yes, left is the old version, right is current version.

      • limey

        Thanks for clarifying ?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        OK, thanks!

    • MikeS

      I like how they are honest about giving so few shits about ND and Northern Minnesota that they put the number on top of that area.

    • westernsloper

      Yep.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      “Its like we are trying to start something.”
      Like? I think we are, gotta keep the MIC happy

  19. MikeS

    Pisces: 3 of Swords – This card just sucks. I ‘mean it’s not as bad as The Devil or The Tower, but as far as minors go, this is pretty much just “everything is shitty.”

    Challenge accepted, stupid deck of novelty cards.

  20. LCDR_Fish

    WTF. I can log into netflix on my xbox or phone but not my PC (incorrect password notification). Tried 2 different browsers. This is so stupid.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Try notepad or something else clear text and see what password is being entered. I had a problem with the shift key on one side of a keyboard being broken.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Don’t have the issue with any other passwords or my normal “format”. I just rebooted. Will try again in a bit.