It had been a rough day.
They were all rough days, but today particularly so.
She took a drag from the Virginia Slims cigarette smoldering in the ashtray, taking care not to press her lips too hard and lose the lipstick she had so painstakingly applied.
The White House press corps was becoming troublesome. She expected that from Fox, of course, but even the tame lapdog media were starting to snap at her.
She knew Steven Nelson’s domme and was going to make sure he got caned most severely, and stayed locked in chastity for a very long time.
Today, for the first time since getting credentialed, Lynn Sweet had been wanded-down by Secret Service and had to remove her shoes to get into the West Wing. She replayed the security video.
“I’m Lynn Sweet, with the Chicago Sun-Times. I’m in here every day, Henry.”
She took another drag from her cigarette and held it in through the next delicious line.
“Take off your shoes, please, ma’am,” said Henry impassively.
“Anoki, get a twenty from my purse and buy Henry a bottle of of Old Grandad for that.
“Yes, ma’am.”
She finished putting on the last touches on her makeup and leaned back to check herself one last time in the mirror. Perfect.
“Don’t mind me, ladies,” said a drunken Hunter appearing behind her in the mirror holding a pair of deep green panties to his nose and making loud snorfling noises.
She hissed and started. He was wearing a jockstrap and necktie, and she could see the outline of his penis through the thin fabric of the pouch. Goddammit those were her favorite panties.
“Delicious,” he said, as he lurched out of view accompanied by a half-second of polite applause and laughter.
“I have a last-minute thing for you, ma’am,” said Anoki brandishing a bright yellow sheet of paper that meant it was from Image Management.
“What do the spin doctors say, Anoki?”
“Ma’am? They were before I was born.”
Jen stubbed out her cigarette and blew a lungful of smoke into Anoki’s face.
“The wonks down in Image Management, the real spin doctors.”
“Oh,” she said, her face brightening with the revelation, her small, perfect breasts bobbing ever so slightly in her tailored white blouse.
Jen lusted for the taste of her sweet plum, but there’d be time for that later.
“Jamarcus Purley, ma’am. They’ve heard chatter on the dark social media that hostile reporters are planning to ask if the administration is going to treat him the same as the January sixth insurrectionists.”
“And what’s their suggested response.”
“‘Be blunt. Dismiss this as a separation of powers issue. The matter is being investigated by the Capitol Police Board and they will make a recommendation to the DOJ once they finish.'”
“That should buy us a couple of weeks, at least. Mitch isn’t going to like this. What else?”
“That’s the only thing not on your tablet, ma’am. Good luck.”
Jen got up from her dressing table and strode down the corridor to the stage entrance of the James Brady Press Briefing room. Time to meet the press.
SugarFree is caught up in “Southern Gothic horror survival” LARPing, and was unable to do “Joemala” this week. He asked me to fill-in. I am honored, and hope I have done his series justice. SugarFree will return.
I look forward to the latest installment of
Naked Came the StrangerJoemala each Wednesday. Well done, Tonio!Joemala from Tonio?
I want my money back.
Seriously though, great job.
I don’t know what snorfling noises are but it made me laugh. It’ll be an SF-Tonio duel of the ball points after this.
Thanks, Tonio, for filling in.
Maybe an SF-Tonio duo, that would work too.
I don’t know if it’s a real word*, but I knew what it meant as soon as I saw it.
*little scared to google it
It’s an onomatopoeia, a word that imitates the sound it represents. Like “meow.”
I am still checking Urban Dictionary…
If it’s a duel you want, I know where that can be arranged.
duel of the ball points
Is that like sword fight, or is it more like docking?
I am honored, and hope I have done his series justice.
You did.
And it’s great to get a quick look inside the world of Strawberry Pop Tart.
Strawberry.
Strawberry Wine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up06CryWQpE
I called Psaki “strawberry” while talking to my wife the other day.
She asked me why I would give her a cute nickname.
She knew about glibs, but not the glory of SF, so I explained a little and we both agreed that she should never read it.
My 77-year-old New Jersey Irish Catholic mother has read some of SugarFree’s work, and she thought it was funny.
Ask me again how I turned out this way…
This is not my wife’s humor.
We saw a video where a woman asked someone to pretend to be her dead mom, so she could share some news about her new job. The guy laid on the floor like he was dead.
2 reactions:
Me: laughing so hard, I had tears coming out of my eyes.
Her: “WOW, That’s wrong.”
Yeah, I would have laughed.
It is worthy of one raised eyebrow.
He could have made clawing motions…”get me out of this coffin!”
Found it.
“Strawberry, Strawberry is the neighborhood ho.”
Wow, Tonio!
You did the Master proud.
“Ma’am? They were before I was born.”
Well played.
Yeah, I had no idea it wasn’t SF until I got to the end.
1. Why wasn’t I asked to fill in?
2. I didn’t check my email, maybe I was.
3. I think these ladies need an anime style design. Someone should get on that…
You have your own thing, man.
Which, whenever the next one is ready…
You can add an Iranian attempt on the Bolton stache subplot now.
The Hat & the Hair & the Turban?
Steve Nelson? My favorite Patriot when I was a kid.
I think Psaki is talking about this guy.
Yes. Thanks. That’s the incident that was the backdrop for the story.
Excellent job, Tonio! Very SugarFree-esque.
What you did. Seen.
The video of Jamarcus was great. We need more of that to realize that the congress critters are just that, nothing special, just congress critters.
OT…heroes
https://www.navytimes.com/news/your-navy/2022/03/08/destroyer-cant-deploy-because-co-wont-get-covid-vaccine-navy-says/
Keep banging those war drums.
The Ruskies and ChiComs are scared now.
No, the Navy has left the Navy short a warship, by being petty little bitches. There is absolutely no reason that ship can’t sail with an unvaxxed commander. Amazing, I know, but the Navy managed to get by with unvaxxed commanders are almost its entire existence.
‘He won’t questioningly do what we tell him to do! Wah, wah!’
The post WWII trials become more and more mere victor’s justice rather than moral principles.
SugarFree is caught up in “Southern Gothic horror survival” LARPing,
Strange way to say he’s on gimp duty in an Anne Rice Vampire Lestat / Sleeping Beauty themed dungeon.
I LOLd
Do you mean “Two Minutes to Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil?”
That was very solid.
Tonio, I didn’t catch that you wrote this until the end and it never crossed my mind that it wasn’t SF while reading so I’d say you dun gud.
Same here.
Me too.
Well done.
+1 more
Me 3.
Me too. It wasn’t one of the most retch-inducing ones, but at this point Jen and her daily bullshit have become retch-inducing on their own.
This. Top-flight /fic.
accompanied by a half-second of polite applause and laughter.
The White House has a laugh track?
That’s established canon for Joemala.
Rather like breaching the fourth wall.
Unwanted penetration.
I’d breach Strawberry’s fourth wall, if you know what I’m saying….actually I’m not even sure what I’m saying.
You didn’t know that?
Look, the JFK sex tunnels were believable, you know what I’m sayin’?
And a laugh track for Joe, Kamala and Strawberry isn’t?
Is it for all of them? Hunter was the only one I was sure about.
I just recall Hunter having a laugh-track
Is, not has.
Winner!
Jen lusted for the taste of her sweet plum, but there’d be time for that later.
Big shoes to fill, Tonio, but you’ve done a fine job.
Bravo!
Huh. It’s 39 degrees and snowing.
Water is compensating for global warming by slowly adjusting its’ freezing point upward. Science!
That’s just good science.
The science has changed!!
The sciences switched!!
Sounds more tolerable than here. 44, heavy overcast and nearly 100% humidity. It sucks the heat right out of you.
Yesterday was 38 and intermittent heavy and pissing rain.
*tosses another log on the fire
27 and snowing like hell here right now. Supposed to get 5-8″ in the Susitna Valley between here and Talkeetna in the next 48 hours.
I see Strawberry Poptart is trying to convince everyone that they are going to clean up the mess they made but it is all Putin’s fault. It is always those dastardly Russians.
They are still going to get their asses handed to them in Nov.
Creepy Joe should have gotten Kevin Bacon instead of Strawberry Poptart.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWBiLeVy45k
They are still going to get their asses handed to them in Nov.
Sure hope so. But not particularly confident that anything will be fixed soon.
Oh no, the R’s will win. Nothing will be fixed. I am still waiting for my obumble care repeal. I am still waiting for my state’s constitutional carry law.
The R’s really are worthless shits, but they are much less destructive to the nation’s wellbeing than the D’s.
You are correct but are good men doing nothing really good men? Standing by while savages take a sledge hammer to the country does not make them innocent. They would only be less destructive if they firmly held the reins of power.
I am still waiting for my obumble care repeal
Oh, come over to NJ, we’re real good with rebates. Gov. Murphy (D, Goldman Sachs) just signed a “property tax relief” bill which will provide UP TO SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS in rebates to households earning less that $250K. Doesn’t help much if you live here.
Narrator: Grosspatzer pays double the average for this jurisdiction.
NY has an ongoing program where the Department of Tax and Finance mails you a check as a rebate on property taxes on certain eligable homes. It used to be in the regular tax filings, but someone went “we need this program to look like we’re mailing them free money” and moved to the mail the checks version. It’s basically a backdoor subsidty of localities from the general fund. Since those who qulaify are homeowners they generally also pay income tax, so it’s just their own money being shuffled around again.
It’s worse than that; you have to apply for the STAR tax credit. You don’t just get to declare it on your return.
Hello from Essex County!
I pay over 2x our rate as well.
Who cares? The fucking opposition party is busily bipartisaning another massive spending bill.
And “force” Joe to stand up against Russian aggression by becoming an outright party to the conflict.
How the hell does Ukraine have multiple bioweapons labs?
Actually, I think I know the answer.
They never said Ukraine has multiple bioweapons labs.
They said there were multiple bioweapons labs in Ukraine.
Ah, yes. Important clarification.
I wonder who he used to launder that money.
The Narrative:
“There are no bioweapons labs in Ukraine, and it would be terrible if they fell into the Russians’ hands.”
This timeline really sucks.
From the people who brought you, “Masks don’t work, and make sure you save some for health care workers.”
If you have anything to include in what are we reading, send me a message through the forum. Thanks. Submissions close Saturday.
Can’t I just leave them as a response to your comment? ?
Does this include regular Glibs?
Yes
Unleaded only.
Well I guess that lets me out.
Did you get mine, Tulip?
Yes, thank you.
There is a new WAWR topic in the forum in the Reading section, created per Tulip’s request. Thanks.
Neat.
Holy shit!
Also neat.
That is cool. A long time ago, in one of my art classes, I had a fellow student who was elderly and legally blind. She could only see things right in front of her face. She’d paint miniature paintings, and enter them in miniature painting contests, and win.
It just occurred to me…Hillary sold our Uranium to the Ruskies…I wouldn’t be surprised if Creepy Joe does not sell the oil leases he forbids American companies to the Chinese.
I was thinking of the Clinton uranium deal just yesterday.
Bill and Hilary are traitors for selling our missile technology to the ChiComs during Bill’s presidency. I was stunned to be one of only a few people who were outraged by that.
Leaving on vacation tomorrow. Will be driving south in to a snow storm. I’m not worried about me. I’m worried about southern folk that don’t know how to drive in snow.
In case anyone thinks Astrid, Sorrestro or Kayleighburrow were too over the top.
He actually believes his own bullshit:
Hello chickens, welcome back home and enjoy your roosting.
They kept telling me I work at the pleasure of the senator.
Says a man that never wants to work a day of gainful employment in his life.
https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-dunkin-employee-fatally-punched-customer-77-over-racial-slur-sentenced-house-arrest
Compare with the million years they gave the dummy who bumped into a fatty with his car trying to escape the mob in Charlottesville.
“nobody should be upset when a nazi dies.”
‘Pujols then walked around the counter and asked Cook not to call him that slur again, but when Cook did, Pujols punched him in the jaw, according to the station. ‘
I have a weird feeling this went down slightly differently.
https://www.thedrive.com/news/44645/this-today-show-segment-on-gas-saving-tips-in-a-ford-mustang-mach-e-is-painful
Just when you think you’ve reached peak news.
I assume they said to make certain the tires are properly inflated?
And for some Glibs junk in the trunk isn’t open for debate.
hope I have done his series justice. SugarFree will return.
I didn’t even realize it wasn’t SF until I saw that at the end. I’d say you did quite well.
#metoo
I saw Tonio posted right up top but thought that maybe SF was just indisposed, which he was as it turns out.
Very well done Tonio!
It’s a shame that Mark Hamill is such a cunte in real life.
Tell me you didn’t read the bill and listened to lies and propaganda without telling me you didn’t read the bill and listened to lies and propaganda
They’d probably be at war every month for a week or so.
Meta Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg has suggested Russia and Ukraine would not be at war if they were run by women.
Sandberg told CNBC that if half the world was run by women, she believes the world would be “safer” and “much more prosperous.”
When Clinton was secretary of state there weren’t any wars or anything, right?
She also didn’t say she would implement a no fly zone over Syria, while Russia was flying there, that would be crazy talk.
Khaddafi nods.
Malice had the perfect response.
Sandberg told CNBC that if half the world was run by women, she believes the world would be “safer” and “much more prosperous.”
Safer? Sheryl must identify as XY, since xe has clearly never experienced teenage girl turf wars.
Catherine the Great, Elizabeth I, Lakshmi Bai, and Joan of Arc would like a word.
Female President of Country A calls Female President of Country B:
“Why the hell did you drop bombs on us today??!”
“If you don’t already know, then I’m certainly not going to tell you!”
Also- that necktie and jockstrap image seems “oddly specific” as the kids like to say.
It’s “oddly specific” alright.
Thanks again. I had seen that somewhere but couldn’t find it for the article.
Meta Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg has suggested Russia and Ukraine would not be at war if they were run by women.
“By women”
Not specific individuals with demonstrable skills and known personal behavior traits and qualities. Stick figures with boobs. Self-propelled vaginas.
Only women understand this:
The brain trust that is our VP.
I dont know about you but that puts my mind at ease.
so basically that’s wrong
The US would never violate the sovereignty of another country.
It’s “oddly specific” alright.
I’ll take your word for it.
I ain’t clicking that.
When Clinton was secretary of state there weren’t any wars or anything, right?
Nothing but peace, love and understanding
+1 “We came, we saw, he died.”
And The Cackle before Kamala.
Almost like it’s sabotage.
The entire Biden Presidency:
1. Cause a problem
2. Deny there’s a problem
3. Finally admit there’s a problem, but blame someone else.
Rinse and repeat
If this is how “adults” act I think we should go back to the children.
You all need to see this: https://www.glibertarians.com/2022/03/sp/
I have been a part of this discussion group both here and at TOS for almost 15? years. It is not unexpected for these things to happen. We dont have a lot of spring chickens around here. We have lost some good people. Here is hoping this isn’t going to be that. I have grown rather fond of SP and she has my most heartfelt well-wishes.
Expected or not, when it happens it cuts deep.
Strawberry is having a rough day.
Actually it serves the miserable cunte right.
I swear, Tonio, I didn’t even notice that you had written this and, a couple of sentences in, was reading it in your voice.
Great work!
Headline I just saw:
“Great resignation driven by workers who say they were fed up with being broke”
*outright, prolonged laughter*
Hold on to your hats, suckers.
Excellent work Tonio! I always enjoy your work. A man of many talents.
Let’s lie to your face and see if you notice
https://www.wsj.com/articles/russian-invasion-turns-ukraines-local-politicians-into-resistance-leaders-11646762857?st=z80v684fuxhcve8&reflink=share_mobilewebshare
Starting with the opening pcicture. Governor is in militarish clothing but he’s got colorful socks because he’s cool. And is in no danger because he’s got his shoes off, he’s in his office, talking on his cell phone. Things you wouldn’t do if there wasn’t an imminent danger.
And then assertions, without evidence, that Ukraine is a democracy. With appointed regional governors and mayors who rule like masters over their cities. And ignore any prewar reports of repressing opposition. Nope, it’s democracy.
They’re also telling the truth, because they say so.
We kept the architects of all the Middle East wars in their positions, didn’t even give them so much as a slap on the wrist, and we now expect them to be honest with us this time? Why? What lesson did they learn? That no matter how much you screw up (charitable) or outright lie (not so charitable) to trick people into supporting your mass murder campaigns you get to keep your jobs or get promoted (and likely get some hush hush kickbacks from military contractors). Why would we expect them to behave even one iota differently than they did 20 years ago to lie us into those cluster fucks?
There is no place where the evidence that politics breaks brains is more apparent than in the military industrial complex. You have handed over the power to kill people on a large scale and if they do so, they’ll personally profit. If it turns out your wrong, there’s no punishment for you, no matter the death toll. We just saw the same thing with the COVID regime. We setup a system that gives the actors every last incentive to behave as monsters and tell them they have no responsibility or culpability in the outcomes. Yet if you point this out to people, you are the one that’s called a lunatic.
https://www.foxla.com/news/california-officials-raided-preschool-interviewed-2-year-olds-over-mask-policies
“The simultaneous multi-school raids and the child interviews just felt like a power play.”
I think someone is realizing the State is not your friend…
Because it was one.
FYTW: all the justification they need.
They’re all going to say they were molested, too, aren’t they?
Indiana House and Senate pass constitutional carry
https://www.indystar.com/story/news/politics/2022/03/08/gun-permit-indiana-constitutional-carry-2022/9415919002/
They’re just selfish and don’t want people to be safe.
TMITE
states with more firearm restrictions see less gun violence
Assumes facts not in evidence.
“According to an Everytown for Gun Safety…”
I could have stopped reading right there – you know whatever comes next is bullshit.
I’m sure Illinois will come up with some way to blame this for their gun violence.
Biden Says Gas Prices Are Not His Fault Unless They Go Back Down Again
That joke could apply to literally anything in politics. “If it’s bad, it’s someone else’s fault and I was helpless to stop it, if it’s good it was all me and I deserve a statue and a really expensive park or building named after me. My four year old uses precisely the same logic. We really are lorded over by a bunch evil preschoolers.
According to an Everytown for Gun Safety report, states with more firearm restrictions see less gun violence.
Illinois, for instance.
*points to NJ*
*points to CA*
https://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/we-want-rifles-ar-15s-shotguns-nassau-co-pol-collecting-guns-for-export-to-ukraine/
W T F ?
No.
What in the hell for anyway?
Does anyone actually think that will make a difference there?
Paging Not Adahn.
If someone tries to kill you, you kill them right back.