“Do you think I’d make a pretty First Lady?” Joe asked. Jen and Finnegan looked at each other, mildly startled, they had both thought he was asleep.
“Dr. Grandma Biden EdD Jill Biden-Biden is First Lady, Grandpa,” Finnegan said.
“I know that,” Joe snapped. “I asked if I would make a pretty First Lady.”
“Are you coming out as trans, Mr. Presdient, I mean Mrs. President, or Thr. President, however you choose to identify,” Jen asked excitedly.
“What?” Joe asked.
“We don’t have time for this,” Finnegan said. “We are supposed to be getting ready for the Zelensky call.”
“Keev,” Joe said. “Keev.”
“You are supposed to pronounce it ‘Zelenskyy,’ with both Ys,” Jen said.
“Keev,” Joe said. “Keeeeeeeeeev.”
“Very good, Gender Non-Specific Presiperson,” Jen cooed. “Coming out as trans will really lock up the vote of the people who were going to vote for you anyway.”
“Grandpa is not coming out as trans,” Finnegan said. “There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, the QUILTBAG community has our full support as they create new genders on TikTok. I want to be very clear on that point.” She looked straight into one of the security cameras as she carefully enunciated.
“It’s me. I’m the one that’s sick,” Joe said. He grinned, let his face fall, and then grinned again as he looked back and forth at the women.
“You’re not sick, Grandpa. You’ve had thirty-eight vaccine shots.”
“Am I the First Husband?” Joe asked, staring out the fake window of the fake Oval Office set.
“So you are definitely back to he/him pronouns?” Jen asked disappointedly.
“Keev,” he said. “Keev. All I’ve ever wanted to be was pretty.”
https://mobile.twitter.com/greg_price11/status/1503855506393374728
Welcome back!
QUILTBAG
Stolen. Thanks!
Those are the good minority sexual preferences.
The bad sexual minority sexual preferences are PANZIES.
Pan-Zionist Inclusive Equity Sexuals?
*stares suspiciously* rhymes with nazis.
Pedophiles, I forget the As, Necrophiles, Zoophiles, Incesters, Ephebophiles, I forget the Ss.
Oh, and PANZIES typically refer to themselves as MOGAI
I forget the As
Asexuals?
I forget the Ss
Ya got me there.
Oh no, asexuals are just aces! Gotta be a MOGAI that “respectable” MOGAIs wouldn’t want to be associated with.
If it’s not ok to hate them on twitter, it’s not a PANZIE.
So the H is silent in PANZIE?
Hetro == ok to hate them on twitter.
It does rhyme with Nazis……but the bad kind, not the brave freedom fighters that we’re arming in Ukraine.
Hearthy laugh at ‘QUILTBAG community’.
That makes my blood run a wee bit cold. Are we shifting genres to a Paranoid thriller? Deep State surveillance? What have they been up to since MAGA Prime escaped?
That’s quite a few questions, what’s your security clearance?
Don’t look out your window Not Adahn. The black helicopters are swarming.
Curiosity killed the far-right, white-nationalist, grandma-killing, Putin supporter.
Apropos
Full disclosure: I never played the game.
That’s what I was aiming for.
Sir, the First Rule of Project Biden is, you do not ask questions, Sir.
The second rule of project Biden is “I Pooped My Pants!”
She looked straight into one of the security cameras as she carefully enunciated.
Now we learn how SugarFree gets this stuff, he’s obviously tapped the camera feed.
“There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, the QUILTBAG community has our full support as they create new genders on TikTok. I want to be very clear on that point.” She looked straight into one of the security cameras as she carefully enunciated.
🙂
ROFL.
I came here to say this ^
4 9
5 7
6 9
9 5
kHz
/starts to wonder about rewatching Fringe again.
Huh, I was thinking about re-watching Fringe too. Well, at least Seasons 1 – 4.
I don’t mind the fifth season of Fringe, I mean it’s not as bad as the fifth season of B5. I’ve got them all on DVD, but the show is streaming on HBOMax and IMDBtv (which is integrated with Amazon prime or can be logged into separately).
It was OK in and of itself. It was just the feeling of it being tacked on when they got the surprising OK for a 5th season that bugged me a bit.
And, yes, B5 S5 was definitely a letdown.
Fringe was available fairly recently through the regular Amazon Prime subscription.
I enjoyed Fringe but unless you do completely crap writing/plot building, it is hard to screw up having John Noble, Lance Reddick and Leonard Nimoy all while salivating over Anna Torv (or Joshua Jackson for those that like that flavor)
OBE: Legends of Tomorrow had a fun episode named Guest Starring John Noble. John Noble was voicing the big bad, and the crew realized that the big bad sounded like the guy who was in the Lord of the Rings movie. So they went back in time to get a line reading to trick one of the big bad’s allies.
57
38
I actually pictured that in my head, didn’t realized there were more than 1
“All I’ve ever wanted to be was pretty.”
You and me both, Joe.
I feel pretty…
…and witty and gay?
I pity any girl who isn’t me today?
I Look Good Today
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mHuvmhvD8Y
lock up the vote of the people
Who’s votes were going to be manufactured anyway.
You’re not supposed to lock up the votes. The boxes are supposed to be very easy to get into. Cut locks raise eyebrows. The DNC was very clear about that when they were screening for fortification volunteers.
pssst – ballot harvesting. Do the deed before it even gets to the ballot box.
Or go the Dominion route. The best paper trail is literally no paper trail. So sayeth the fortifiers.
No need to harvest. Just sign a bunch of mail in ballots yourself. It’s not like they have time to check all the signatures.
The reality is that they take an all of the above approach by focusing on areas where the likelihood of exposure is low and the likelihood of cover from the authorities is high. Maybe they got too big for their britches in 2020 or maybe the right just overstates the level of shenanigans that went on. Either way, nobody is going to be held to account.
The electoral system is too big to fail, even though it has failed.
Either way, nobody is going to be held to account.
^^^ THIS RIGHT HERE. The most fundamental tenet of contemporary American governance.
A glimpse into our future, right there.
It’s a shame that even Bond Villains can be replaced by automation
Klaus Schwab would never allow that. He prides himself on his hands on approach to world domination.
LOL!
Genuinely confused as to whether this makes him look evil or fucking awesome.
Book of Revelations as interpreted by the Donald. It helps if you read it in his voice.
I read EVERYTHING in his voice. I have to add a lot of misspellings and grammatical errors, but it’s very entertaining.
“Coming out as trans will really lock up the vote of the people who were going to vote for you anyway.”
The Democratic party in one sentence.
And it won’t hurt them with the cemetery vote. Win-win.
How come everyone’s so worried about the cemetery vote, but not the necrophiliac vote? #Underrepresentation
https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2022/03/17/national/japan-earthquake-tohoku-march-16/
Hope you nippon glibs and families are all ok.
Indeed. A headcount would be good.
Our actual Japan based Glibs aren’t based in that area as far as I know.
????
Not immediately. But still had shaking and loss of power.
Afaik it’s down to straff and absent TJ.
Yeah, I just sent a note to my friend in Tokyo saying I hope she kept her lights on.
The Republican primary is going to be hilarious.
Those close to Liz Cheney, Larry Hogan and Adam Kinzinger expect one of them, if not more, to launch a presidential bid after the 2022 midterms.
… For the Democrats?
Really? Kinzinger?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I’ve taken shits that are more popular than him.
These people are so far removed from reality. If we lived in a functional system, we would use a declaration to run for political office as grounds for forced institutionalization. Give the job to the guy who tries to run away screaming when you tell him he has to be a congressman. That’s a man with his head on straight.
That would just empower good actors. You need some sort of polygraph test to make sure they’re not lying.
And then leave the electrodes connected to administer electric shocks as appropriate if they get out of line during their tenure.
All joking aside, I propose placing little micro bombs in the arteries of every politician (a la Escape from New York) as a condition of being sworn in. Instead of voting every two years on whether you get to keep your job, we vote on whether or not the bombs go off. Not quite a complete power balance, but it would go a long way towards making them take their duties as “public servants” a lot more seriously.
The problem with capital punishment for things like that is that people will be more inclined to let infractions slide than to be responsible for the death of another.
I don’t know if you watch the news, I thing you severely underestimate the ease of drumming up support for frivolous murder campaigns. See recent support in polls for denying medical treatment to the unvaccinated. People have no problem with death as long as it’s carried out by the righteous avatar of a state actor given dominion over life itself. Totally legitimate….for reasons.
They also think it absolves them of responsibility by having a third party do it for them.
I have a slightly different view on that topic. If you push for using the government against me, I’m coming after you first.
I’m talking about a specific person dying. Normal people still quail at that, even if they advocate policies that will kill thousands or millions of faceless others.
+-1 Milgram Experiment
+1 Venkman Experiment
https://youtu.be/5ohlA__xABw
“I was just going to say, ‘eight o’clock?'”
“The major problem — one of the major problems, for there are several — one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.
To summarise: it is a well known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.
To summarise the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
To summarise the summary of the summary: people are a problem.”
The summary of your summary of your summary sums up the fundamental problem quite summarily.
Maybe all that hanging out with D’s has taught Liz Cheney how fortify her way to like 1%. What a delusional cunte. CNN will be endorsing her and she’ll be dumb enough to believe that’s a good thing.
Or it’s been predetermined.
What are the odds that the GOP has fortified their own primaries?
I’m sure someone in the GOP took aside someone in the DNC and asked “so how did you stop Bernie?” Is it bad that I’ve taken to reflexively laughing every time I hear some idiot spout the words “our democracy?”
“I could win! Democrat voters love me!” Until Democratic voters are given a choice between a fake Democrat and a real Democrat.
Heh, and who would even be the real and the fake? The ambiguity is perfection.
Another fun/epic Carolla rant.
https://youtu.be/0feWTuPbcUg?t=281
to clarify – specific bit is from clip start to about 10:00
Damn, Ann Wilson is 71?
She said they’re doing another world tour this summer.
I’d go to that.
My new pronoun
All I’ve ever wanted to be was pretty. And I am.
Pretty old.
How’s SP?
If that’s a social noise, she’s doing fine!
If it’s a sincere question, which knowing you is more likely, not fine. We’re on week 5 of hospitalization. But she’s had her pain meds reduced enough that she’s again the salty and snarky SP I fell in love with. But TBH, it’s a very tough and uncertain road ahead.
The responses of you folks have brought us to tears more than once. OK, more than a dozen times.
Very sincere.
GOOD! She’s a fighter. That attitude will serve her well.
This is probably corny as hell, but it’s well intentioned. ? I recently re-discovered this quote by Bil Keane and it stuck with me.
GOOD! She’s a fighter. That attitude will serve her well.
Very glad to hear it. As someone who has a certain perspective on this, that attitude is essential. And greatly increases the odds of a good outcome.
Please let us know if we can help.
My best wishes to the both of you.
Again, let us know if there’s anything we can do. Anything.
she’s had her pain meds reduced enough that she’s again the salty and snarky SP I fell in love with.
*quickly cancels the rusty tin can lid shipment for OMWC’s sake*
In seriousness, good to hear that she’s able to throttle down the pain meds a bit. We’re praying for y’all. Don’t hesitate even an instant if you need something.
Ditto.
Praying hard, brother. Give her a smooch from us.
I’ll pile on. Give her my best!
So a couple nights ago, I was talking to SP, reminiscing about the first time we actually met face to face. “I got off the plane, started walking down the hall, saw you sitting there waiting, and my heart melted.”
Her response was a glare. “You’re just trying for a blowjob, right?”
Ha!
Well, you were, right?
Well… were you?
Hope springs eternal.
Once you get to a certain age, hope is about all that springs eternal.
I mean…come on…
Glad to hear she’s had pain meds reduced.
But she’s had her pain meds reduced enough that she’s again the salty and snarky SP I fell in love with.
This is good.
I hope for the best.
Best wishes to SP.
Glad to see you!
Definitely let us know if we can do anything.
Biden delivers remarks on Ukraine
That was painful to watch.
America stands with the forces of freedom.
*outright prolonged laughter*
The Forces of Freedom
Citizens of every nation in the ME, South and Central America all nod vigorously.
So today is the first day in over 2 years that the Health section of Google News’ (I know, I know) headlines contain none about Covid. For the better part of that time, most or all of the headlines were about it in one form or another, on the days that I’ve checked (most weekdays).
Something’s amiss.
War’s afoot
Narrative switch
Would you like to learn more?
Yes! Does Google News have any reliable and honest source suggestions? Stop laughing!
No.
Sheesh, I haven’t looked there in probably a decade. I don’t use the news feeds that Microsoft and Apple try to throw at me, either – although at least those are customizable.
Google News is totes customizable. You can choose which statist boot-licking organizations you get in your feed.
If your warboner stays erect for more than 4 election cycles contact your nearest Lockheed Martin associate.
Poor Lindsey Graham. How many decades has it been since the warboner subsided long enough to let his brain have even a drop of blood?
TPTB have realized they cannot continue with COVID and hoping a wartime president can hold their power in mid-terms.
Which is scary as fuck.
Fantastic. QUILTBAGS unite!
I just got a free coffee shake for jokingly complaining about the cultural appropriation of selling monocles and top hats to non libertarians.
a free coffee shake
I assume that’s a euphemism for a warm water and epsom salt enema.
“Do you think I’d make a pretty First Lady?” Joe asked.
Be whatever you want to be
If we lived in a functional system, we would use a declaration to run for political office as grounds for forced institutionalization.
*uptwinkles*
I just got a free coffee shake for jokingly complaining about the cultural appropriation of selling monocles and top hats to non libertarians.
Was it dumped on your head?
*Sensible chuckle*
March 16, 2022 — Project 22160 Russian Navy “Vasily Bykov” of the Black Sea Fleet enters Sevastopol after completing tasks at sea.
2 weeks ago, Ukrainian media were spreading “evidence” of how this ship was destroyed with Ukrainian MLRS off the coast of Odessa.
Who did it better?
Would.
Well, the top video shows a normal, good-looking female human being. The bottom video shows the result of a violent hate fuck between several different Instagram filters…
Thank you. The second girl looks like something terrible happened to her.
I am willing to give to her fundraiser for corrective surgery.
Corrective Surgery is what got her there in the first place.
I would argue that was destructive surgery.
Love the “use an app to find cheaper gas”. Fucking hell this country
I can drive 15 miles to get $0.04 cheaper a gallon. Who would do this?
30 miles for me is about 1.57 gallons used. $7.85 @ $5/gallon versus $7.91 @ $5.04/gallon. However, I would be spending the $7.85 just to get that gas that was $0.04 cheaper and losing ~$7.13 to get it.
I was bored and needed to do some math. Shut up.
Relevant XKCD.
Oh… and I was told there would be no math.
Well I see a real opportunity for a better app. Location data plus vehicle data could spit out the most economical gas station to go to and the path that will be most fuel efficient
Nerds
Who did it better?
Carly Simon, of course.
“Dr. Grandma Biden EdD Jill Biden-Biden”
Did Dr. Grandma hyphen her last name? That’s pretty next level, and the EdD is a nice touch.
I was going to nominate that as my favorite line, and I didn’t even notice the hyphenated surname.
Meanwhile, down at the little red schoolhouse
The high-profile failings of public schools during the pandemic have become a political problem for Democrats, because of their association with unions, prolonged closures, and the pedagogy of social justice, which can become a form of indoctrination. The party that stands for strong government services in the name of egalitarian principles supported the closing of schools far longer than either the science or the welfare of children justified, and it has been woefully slow to acknowledge how much this damaged the life chances of some of America’s most disadvantaged students. The San Francisco school board became the caricature of this folly last year when it spent months debating name changes to Roosevelt Middle School, Abraham Lincoln High School, and other schools with supposedly offensive names, while their classrooms remained closed to the city’s children. Republicans have only just begun to exploit the fallout.
But I’m not interested in joining or refereeing this partisan scrum. Public education is too important to be left to politicians and ideologues. Public schools still serve about 90 percent of children across red and blue America. Since the common-school movement in the early 19th century, the public school has had an exalted purpose in this country. It’s our core civic institution—not just because, ideally, it brings children of all backgrounds together in a classroom, but because it prepares them for the demands and privileges of democratic citizenship. Or at least, it needs to.
What this country needs is a government run educational system free from meddlesome boatrockers which will churn out millions of uniformly molded cookie-cutter liberals who want unlimited cradle to grave government services and a permanent Democratic majority in Washington to see that they get it.
Public education is too important
…to be left to the public.
It’s our core civic institution
And it does a terrible job teaching civics.
If government schools are our core civic value then we’re in deep shit.
Narrator; we’re in deep shit.
the public school has had an exalted purpose in this country
Tearing religious and ideological minorities away from their families to reprogram them as good majoritarian drones?
Of the State; for the State.
Robert Pondiscio, a former fifth-grade teacher in the South Bronx and a fellow at the American Enterprise Institute, told me. “Horace Mann went to his grave having never once uttered the phrase college- and career-ready. We’ve become more accustomed to thinking about the private ends of education. We’ve completely lost the habit of thinking about education as citizen-making.”
Ah, there’s the quiet part. It’s a bit obfuscated, but it’s right there at the end. The citizenry isnt born. It’s made. “Citizen-making” is just as ugly a euphemism as “pregnancy termination” or “ethnic cleansing”. The erasure of humanity is just as present. Maybe not in the killing way, but definitely in the forced relinquishment of everything that makes an individual, well, individual.
Oh, and Horace Mann was a terrible person with horrible ideas.
In fairness to Mann, what he advocated for is not what we have now.
And Sowell’s comment about the barbarian invasion requiring civilizing might be worth mentioning.
Love the “use an app to find cheaper gas”. Fucking hell this country
“Want to save money at the pump? Fill up when your gauge gets to half-full!”
“I’m tyrannical and economically retarded.”
I just filed a bill to reclaim the windfall profits that Big Oil is raking in. Here’s how it works:
That sounds awesome. I’m sure the government deciding how much money everyone deserves to make would never personally affect me in any way.
I mean, oil companies I don’t think even break through the top 10 in terms of profit or profit margin, but sure, why the fuck not.
If this guy’s into windfall profits, I can point him in the direction of a few billion made on vaccines.
“excess profits” ???
He should check out tax accountants then…
I want him to be president. He’s got the perfect name: president Whitehouse?
/Accelerationist
So the question isn’t just how much education, but what kind. Is it quaint, or utopian, to talk about teaching our children to be capable of governing themselves? Possibly, but I doubt it’s ever been more necessary. The COVID era, with Donald Trump out of office but still in power and with battles over mask mandates and critical race theory convulsing Twitter and school-board meetings, shows how badly Americans are able to think about our collective problems—let alone read, listen, empathize, debate, reconsider, and persuade in the search for solutions. If these habits have something to do with education—and every kindergarten teacher knows that children can be taught to compromise—then democratic citizenship can, at least in part, be learned. We owe our beleaguered children, the victims of our inadequacy, a chance to be better than we are.
Rational individualists are the enemy. They must be taught to defer to the collective.
” teaching our children to be capable of governing themselves? ”
Except everything after that talks nothing to that question.
our collective problems
Ah, I see your problem.
The COVID era, with Donald Trump out of office but still in power and with battles over mask mandates and critical race theory convulsing Twitter and school-board meetings, shows how badly Americans are able to think about our collective problems—let alone read, listen, empathize, debate, reconsider, and persuade in the search for solutions.
So much with the fuck off here. You fucks didn’t read or listen to all the people telling you lockdowns and masks didn’t work, you didn’t empathize with the people and businesses hurt by the regulations, you shut down debate and any attempt to reconsider any other solutions and mandates are no way to fucking persuade someone.
Fuck off.
Yeah, the problem isn’t that the people are battling and “convulsing Twitter”, it’s that the elites are shoving so much ridiculous crap down the people’s throats that they’re starting to get wise to it and fight back.
My money is on establishment shill helping to change the narrative.
“Sh*t like this makes zero sense, can we agree on this? So Kyrie can go inside, not wear a mask, even hug a teammate but he cannot play … Does the ball have a weak immune system?”
What’s going on with Trevor Noah lately?
Most likely correct.
See, we’ve always been about consistency and a light hand. /Lefties
Whatever is going on with him, I guarantee its temporary.
Well, I just ordered new business cards. My new title is “Senior Vice Presiperson”. Now to update my email signature.
Oh, I also requested gender-neutral, or gender-affirming, or whatever they are, signs for our bathrooms in the C Suite. They are both one-holers, so we use whichever one is available anyway.
Do they just say “Filthy Animals”?
Leave me out of this.
Each bathroom will have a picture of Corporal Klinger?
“one-holers”
Is that one of the new genders?
The lizard-people, of course, have cloacas.
Yeah, they’re all staying in the cloaca closet.
Ok you people, while following one of your youtube links, I got an ad for a
RussianUkrainian mail order bride website. I think you’d enjoy watching it. Either for the eye candy or the humor in the voiceover narration.Did it have this level of tease?
Not as much as the Indian or Chinese ladies ads.
There is a spice joke in there somewhere…it is either gonna smack me square between the eyes or I will squint until I see it.
Sally Struthers voice, “for only five hundred dollars a day you, too, could help a Ukrainian super-model in dire need of keeping up her new lifestyle.”
Can she cook and clean and make good sammich?
“the QUILTBAG community has our full support as they create new genders on TikTok”
You can say whatever you want about the price of food and gasoline, but it’s a real relief to finally have an administartion who can get tot he real priorities. And not make mean tweets.