Monday Afternoon Generic Links

by | Mar 14, 2022 | Daily Links | 229 comments

These links are similar in quality.

 

Not feeling it today. So I am going to fling out some generic links, and you all can comment on whatever you want.

  • Florida Man, man.
  • I wonder if the Chinese laughed in his face.
  • Don’t you have an ambassador for that?
  • I guess we will see.

Have at it. Or not. I am not the boss of you.

About The Author

Swiss Servator

Swiss Servator

Currently serving at the pleasure of a Swiss multinational. Previously a Soldier, rugby player, lawyer, bouncer, bartender, substitute teacher, risk manager, and cubicle mushroom. Will work for raclette.

229 Comments

  1. Ownbestenemy

    Blake Reign had no game
    Sought a place for his fame
    Thinking through against the ruck
    Pulled his nub in the local Starbuck

    • Ownbestenemy

      In Miami, fame was found
      While being pressed against the ground
      Doing best what a namesake can
      He became a Florida Man

      • Tonio

        Heh. You’re in creative mood today.

      • Ownbestenemy

        As you post that I lost all creativity for what I posted below…

      • Bobarian LMD

        Makin’ it Reign at the Starbucks!

      • rhywun

        “Blake Reign”

        His buddies “Brock Landers” and “Chest Rockwell” could not be reached for comment.

      • db

        “Rick Tilefloor”

        “Big McLargehuge”

  2. The Late P Brooks

    U.S. national security adviser Jake Sullivan on Monday raised concerns with Chinese diplomat Yang Jiechi about China’s alignment with Russia as Washington warned of the economic penalties and global isolation that Beijing would face if it helps Moscow in its invasion of Ukraine.

    Economic penalties. Sure.

    Right. We’re like Siamese twins.

    • Swiss Servator

      We would probably go into deep recession/crash – they would risk heading to starvation.

      • Endless Mike

        The consequences of a recession or crash for politicians in the US are greater than the consequences China’s leaders would face with mass starvation.

  3. Rat on a train

    A self-proclaimed homeless male model was arrested for masturbating in front of people in a Starbucks in Miami Beach on Friday, according to reports.
    Hand model?

    • R C Dean

      So, we’re doubting that’s he’s actually homeless?

  4. The Late P Brooks

    “It’s real, it’s consequential, and it’s really alarming,” the second U.S. official said.

    Come on, tough guy. Kick his ass.

  5. Rebel Scum

    Blake Reign, 27, was allegedly seen by several witnesses pleasuring himself at the Starbucks on Collins Avenue and 29th Street around 9:30 a.m. Friday.

    What a jerkoff. You are supposed to wake and wank in private.

    • Rat on a train
      • juris imprudent

        So terrifying that the squirrels stripped the link?

  6. Sean

    But, Mooooom, generic links are for the poor kids.

    🙁

    • Ownbestenemy

      Said in Cartman’s voice hopefully

      • Sean

        Of course.

      • Compelled Speechless

        BTW, I just started catching up on the new season and it’s been great so far. They just had one where they go after the all the “city people” flooding into small towns and realtors that was one of the best episodes I’ve seen in a while.

      • hayeksplosives

        Pilates? Tesla?

  7. Rebel Scum

    U.S. raises concerns about China aligning with Russia

    Ya think? You have been pushing them into the arms of the CCP.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Uh, they probably are already aligned. Russia wouldn’t pull troops from their border with China unless they had some kind of arrangement with them. Whether China sticks to that arrangement if Russia is bogged down in Ukraine is a different matter.

    • db

      Fanfare for the Florida Man?

      • rhywun

        It’s an Insane Clown Posse link, isn’t it.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I was also wrong, I was assuming Suicidal Tendencies

    • Tundra

      Lol! Nice.

    • Tonio

      [golf clap] for everyone.

  8. Rebel Scum

    Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky will make an address to both houses of the U.S. Congress this week to provide an update on the Russian war, top congressional officials said Monday.

    Be sure to provide extra long table.

    • Rat on a train

      It needs to be through a tablet attached to a segway.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Photo op for the warmongers. I’m sure Lindsey and Liz will be gushing.

      • Compelled Speechless

        You should be arrested for putting that image in my head.

      • slumbrew

        I fully support this.

        *shudders*

      • Compelled Speechless

        So you pictured Liz giving Lindsey the jackhammer (you read that correctly) too? Revolting.

    • grrizzly

      Will he reassure them that their money laundering secrets are safe?

      • R C Dean

        “For now”.

  9. Dr. Fronkensteen

    Swiss economic prospects for 2022 dampened but not decimated
    Banks more downbeat

    Not surprising about the banks. All of those Russian oligarchs and corrupt Ukrainians won’t be putting their money in the Swiss banks for the foreseeable future.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Are there any jurisdictions left which will protect the privacy of your financial transactions? I thought the Swiss already caved to Uncle Sam some time ago.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Not sure. The Panama papers indicate Panama, BVI and the Bahamas. But I’m not sure I’d trust the British Virgin Island.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Thanks. I’m guessing nothing is private any more.

      • Tundra

        Just wait for the neat-o new digital currencies.

      • DEG

        Yes, that’s what I’ve heard, especially if you are American.

  10. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    I’m Florida woman for the next 36 hours. I let some nurse stick a swab up my hole.

    (Nasal, you preverts!)

    • Ownbestenemy

      Was it moist *ducks*

    • Ghostpatzer

      That won’t work, there may be some nasal perverts hereabouts. Or so I hear.

      Nasal Retentive Calliope Music

    • Aloysious

      (¬‿¬)

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Priorities, man

    Sen. Joe Manchin says he’s opposed to the nomination of Sarah Bloom Raskin for a top regulatory post at the Federal Reserve, likely spelling defeat for her confirmation in the closely-divided Senate.

    Manchin, D-W.Va., says he wants the Fed to focus on what he calls the most pressing issues — rising inflation and energy costs — and he’s not convinced that Raskin shares those priorities.

    Raskin, a former member of the Fed’s governing board who also served in the Treasury Department, has sparked strong Republican opposition after arguing that financial regulators should pay more attention to the risks associated with climate change.

    He should say she’s not black enough.

    • rhywun

      None of Biden’s nominees share the priorities that are supposed to be inherent to the positions they’re nominated for.

    • db

      C’mon! Let’s go get a Drink!

  12. Rebel Scum

    The Swiss economics ministry has downgraded its growth forecast for 2022 due to the war in Ukraine. But it still predicts a solid post-pandemic upswing.

    This report is full of holes and doesn’t pass the smell test.

    • The Other Kevin

      Here come the puns, just like clockwork.

      • db

        Yeah! Everyone, Pilatus on this one!

      • juris imprudent

        You can canton me.

      • Gender Traitor

        That’s going to drive Swissy cuckoo.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Alps-olutely!

      • Pope Jimbo

        No narrowed gaze yet? I’m calling this a Swiss Miss.

      • Ted S.

        Missed it by that much.

      • db

        Nah, you missed it; it was Heidi-ing in plain sight below.

      • Rebel Scum

        This crowd is always punctual and precise.

      • Ted S.

        Here come the puns,
        Here come the puns,
        And I say,
        It’s all right….

    • Ghostpatzer

      Que so?

    • Pope Jimbo

      OK, this is a horrible question and I should know it, but to compete in official sled hockey do you need to have troubles with your legs (as well as being a dude?)

      Hopefully to make myself not seem like such a jackass, let me give you some background. A long time ago my employer gave generously to the Courage Center and in return got to use the gym for company basketball games at night. When we’d show up, the group ahead of us were playing wheelchair hoops. When they were done half of them got up and walked off. Their legs worked OK, but they liked playing hoops with their buddies so they learned to play the wheelchair version.

      Do you have guys like that?

      * Please don’t get mad if I said something way offensive. I don’t mean to be. My words not so good sometimes.

      • The Other Kevin

        Absolutely none of that was offensive. So one at a time:

        At the Paralympic level, you do have to have a disability, and it has to be verified by an official Paralympic doctor. I know of one player with no legs who still had to travel to Sweden to get his disability verified.

        At the club level, you can have up to 3 able bodied players in a game but the goalie must be disabled. We usually take a few able bodies with us to tournaments, right now we’re playing short so our three coaches are in sleds. We’ve had interns from the hospital check out our practices, and they decided to play because it is fun. Just this weekend we did an event where some medical staff got into sleds and we had a big scrimmage. Anyone is allowed to come get in a sled at practice. Mrs. TOK has even tried, and she’d join the team but we practice too late for her taste.

        As for women, that article is long but the gist is, Paralympic teams are allowed to have one additional player if she is a woman, but none of them do. But there aren’t enough women’s teams in the world to compete, partly because “hey women are allowed to play!” But at the club level, it’s 100% coed and most teams have at least one woman.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Well since you didn’t form up a mob to come get me for my previous insensitivity….

        Couldn’t he have simply mailed his legs (in a jar of formaldehyde) to the doc? I don’t know why he had to go.

      • Mojeaux

        I don’t know whether tolaugh or strangle you.

      • Gender Traitor

        OK, all together now – “Why not both?”

      • Mojeaux

        You get more of what you reward …

    • Ted S.

      Did I miss the part about men having more upper-body strength than women?

    • db

      Nah, their hair smells really nice.

    • Sean

      Surely, we have room for some hot Ukrainian refugee women?

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      No they’re white and some form of Christian. Biden would welcome them because he’s a racist.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Opponents worry that her views on climate change could discourage banks from lending money to fossil fuel companies, although Raskin insisted during her confirmation hearing that it’s up to banks to decide which loans to make, not the Federal Reserve.

    Haha, good one.

  14. Sensei

    You know what happens when the Green Lobby and Country Club Republicans get together?

    How an Electric Truck Factory Became a Lightning Rod in Georgia

    Another source of contention is the incentive package the state is offering Rivian. Governor Kemp has allocated $125 million in his proposed budget for land and training costs associated with the factory, and the state and local municipalities are expected to give Rivian hundreds of millions of dollars in tax breaks in the years ahead.

  15. Rebel Scum

    What we need is more political prisoners.

    .@ananavarro calls on the DOJ to investigate “Russian propagandists” like Fox News’ Tucker Carlson and former Rep. @TulsiGabbard for “shilling for Putin.”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      This is fine.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Dude…she took upwards of $60!

      • The Other Kevin

        I think you misspelled “substantial donation”.

    • RBS

      She seems intelligent.

      • Compelled Speechless

        If by intelligent, you mean an establishment cunt that is absolutely guilty of the type of shilling that she’s baselessly accusing others of and is gleefully making money off of poking a bear that could cause a nuclear without a nano-second’s thought about the ramifications and that the people who are actually dangerous and should be investigated are the ones that feed her talking points and put her stupid fat mug in front of a camera, then yes….intelligent.

      • Ted S.

        Is she intelligent enough not to write a run-on sentence?

      • Compelled Speechless

        I feel that the run-on sentences contribute to the unhinged rant vibe I’m going for. Still no where near as unhinged as Anna Navarro.

      • slumbrew

        +1 points for style

    • Tonio

      Taco, or GTFO.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Hilux is the one true technical.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I will take payment in a 2000 model year Prado with low miles.

      • Tonio

        Isn’t Tacoma just the name Toyota uses to market Hilux in the US?

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        In Canada too, I was led to understand.

      • db

        I have a Taco. It’d be perfect if it had an M134 mounted in the bed.

      • EvilSheldon

        Perfect would be an SPG-9, but an M134 would be a hell of a consolation prize…

    • Not Adahn

      Dude, that completely fucks up the weight distribution.

  16. Rebel Scum

    Pwnd.

    .@MittRomney, you have called me a ‘treasonous liar’ for stating the fact that “there are 25+ US-funded biolabs in Ukraine which if breached would release & spread deadly pathogens to US/world” and therefore must be secured in order to prevent new pandemics. Bizarrely, …

    … you claim that securing these labs (or even calling for securing these labs) is treasonous and will lead to a loss of life, when the exact opposite is obviously true. The spread of pathogens is what will cause the loss of life, not the prevention of such spread.

    Senator Romney, please provide evidence that what I said is untrue and treasonous. If you cannot, you should do the honorable thing: apologize and resign from the Senate.

    Evidence of the existence of such biolabs, their vulnerability, and thus the need to take immediate action to secure them is beyond dispute:

    • The Other Kevin

      “…apologize and resign from the Senate.”

      There she goes, making us all hot for her again.

    • Compelled Speechless

      The only thing Mitt could do at this point to restore his honor is seppuku.

      • Ted S.

        +1 Budd Dwyer

      • db

        People are coming up with the best Pay-Per-View ideas here today.

      • db

        One thing that has always bothered me about that photo is the positioning of the guys on either side of the “sepuk-ee.” First, the dude with the mercy blade doesn’t look like he could get enough of a wind-up to do his job properly, and the other two guys flanking are risking a nasty cut.

      • R C Dean

        Nah, the three witnesses are safe (assuming a competent swordsman). But the swordsman is in a funny spot for the coup de grace.

      • R C Dean

        If I recall my Japanese swordsmanship, to make the swing correctly the swordsman will start with is left foot forward, and will step back with his left foot as he swings (which generates the power). You don’t need a big wind-up. He should be more next to the guy, not behind him, with some room to take the step.

      • db

        Right, that’s what I was getting at. The scene is too compressed to be real, it seems.

    • Claypoolsreservoir

      to be faaaaaihhhhr… Tulsi is not really on point here. The Russians have a means to biological warfare already. Thus, what she is suggesting is akin to the US entering the war. I wonder if I could find a similar bite from Lindsay Graham…

      Still.. Romney is an idiot…

      • Compelled Speechless

        I’m going to side with Tulsi here. It’s the optics of funding potentially dangerous bio research right next to the border of a country you are constantly hostile towards. How would we react if they had similar labs in Cuba and we didn’t know what they were doing? It would be pretty naive to assume they’re not up to anything. Of all the places we could do bio-research, why there? There aren’t a million other places where we could accomplish the same research without looking like a threat? Especially in light of the fact that there’s still a bit of an unresolved and uninvestigated issue where some of the research we were funding may have somehow escaped and crippled the world’s economy for the last two years. Any reasonable government would see this as a potential act of aggression.

      • db

        It’s quite likely that the US was simply funding make-work projects to keep former Soviet bioweapons scientists employed in ways other than weapons development. This was also done with the Russian nuclear and space industries. The US ended up, under the Nunn-Lugar paradigm, paying tons of money to keep those industries going so that the technical experts wouldn’t be recruited by various bad actors worldwide.

        Where this all goes wrong is when, instead of allowing those enterprises to wither via retirement attrition, they end up hiring new people and perpetuating their knowledge. This is a horrible example of how well-intentioned efforts by governments can go badly wrong and end up making the problems they try to fix worse than ever.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Not sure I buy the “well-intentioned” aspects of these projects. The idea that our good intentions give us a near monopoly on controlling the funding of most of the best scientific minds in the world and it keeps the world safe from them falling into the hands of bad political actors (like say…the largest and most dominant empire the world has ever known) sure sounds like propaganda to me. We’re just trying to keep people safe, all that power and uncontested dominance in the scientific space is really a secondary, unintended benefit. Even calling it a benefit seems to sully our real altruism.

    • db

      Couldn’t happen to a nicer person.

      Kane, the first Democrat and first woman to be elected attorney general, served as Pennsylvania’s top prosecutor from 2013 to 2016, when she resigned in the final year of a tumultuous first term after she was convicted of perjury, official oppression, and other crimes.

      • Sensei

        Yes. She is both corrupt and evil.

      • Compelled Speechless

        In politics, the term for that is “naturally gifted”.

    • Ted S.

      Depends on whether you’re politically connected with the right people.

    • DEG

      I didn’t know she was out of prison.

    • Tonio

      Depends on the terms of her probation. Those vary by offense and state.

  17. Ted S.

    Since I didn’t update my comments from the end of the Glibfit post, Dad’s procedure went fine; he just has to wear those old-fart all-black plastic sunglasses that look as stylish as orthopedic shoes.

    That and keep using the prescription eye drops he’s been using, but he can administer those himself.

    • Compelled Speechless

      If you mute it, the video is actually very watchable. How much of a nitwit do you need to be to have this braindead child explain foreign affairs to you? I’m so afraid to find out how effective this actually is.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Very effective. Kids will spread this shit and when actual adults are discussing it they get to say “OK Boomer” and walk away smug thinking just because 100 million people follow this nitwit and if she is that popular (no can’t be she is pretty and probably shows her assets) can be wrong.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Still more intelligent than Harris’s explanation of the war.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Truf. But does she give BJ’s good enough to get her up to VP of the USA? Only time will tell.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Freedom fighters

    “We need to be honest with the American people — the battle for freedom has its costs here at home, as well,” Biden said at the Democratic National Committee’s winter meeting last week. “People [are] already feeling Putin’s price hikes at the pump. I think the American people know how important this fight is. I think they know that as painful as the price is today, the costs are going to be higher if we do not act now to deal with this tyrant.”

    Vice President Harris echoed that Friday in a news conference in Bucharest, Romania.

    “[T]here is a price to pay for democracy,” Harris said. “Got to stand with your friends. And as everybody knows, even in your personal life, being loyal to those friendships based on common principles and values, sometimes it’s difficult. Often, it ain’t easy. But that’s what the friendship is about, based on shared values. So that’s what we’re doing.”

    Freedom isn’t free, y’all. The very thought of that doddering cretin calling somebody else a tyrant spikes my blood pressure.

    • The Other Kevin

      Wow, he’s really going all in on blaming Putin for everything that happened a year before the invasion. What gets my blood pressure up is that more than anything right now we need people at the top to be accountable, but here’s this ass blaming everybody else for all the problems he causes.

      • Ted S.

        And unsurprisingly, NPR is carrying his water.

      • Compelled Speechless

        If he really did stop trying to do anything, he would enthusiastically win my vote.

      • Ownbestenemy

        They either pivoted quickly to dump all the bad onto the Ukraine situation or they created/pushed for the Ukraine situation knowing they can dump all the bad onto it.

      • juris imprudent

        The advantage of having a hazardous waste disposal site is you can dump more hazmat there! Genius.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I am not sure who is the worst with their lines, Bush or Kamala

        And we’ve got a role, the government’s got a role. Not only do you have a role to play, which you’re playing in such fine fashion, but the government has a role to play, as well.

        …it’s time for us to do what we have been doing and that time is every day…

      • Ted S.

        The politics of failure have failed. We must make them work again.

      • Ted S.

        Let us talk about the future, for that is where we will all spend the rest of our lives.

      • slumbrew

        That gets points for being technically correct.

      • Ted S.

        Technically correct is, of course, the best kind of correct.

      • Compelled Speechless

        “I think that there’s a lot of people more concerned about being precisely, factually and semantically correct than about being morally right.”

        Our most precious font of wisdom and perhaps greatest national treasure would beg to differ.

      • R C Dean

        If you are morally right but not factually correct, there may be something wrong with your morals.

      • Compelled Speechless

        It’s an AOC quote. I was in fact, posting it ironically.

      • Ted S.

        For what it’s worth, my first quote was from The Simpsons, namely the Halloween episode in which Kang and Kodos take over the bodies of Bill Clinton and Bobdole.

        The second was taken from the opening monologue to Plan Nine from Outer Space, although it’s a slight misquote. From IMDb, here’s the full quote:

        Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony of the miserable souls who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts about grave robbers from outer space?

      • Ted S.

        We must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling toward freedom!

      • Fourscore

        …spend the rest of our life…

      • slumbrew

        Eh, GW sucked on prompter but was OK speaking extemporaneously.

        Kamala’s just terrible all around

      • Ownbestenemy

        Hey, I had no idea that A: Ukraine and Russia were countries B: One was bigger and the other smaller and C: War is when one country invades into another.

        It is the Goodnight Moon of our age for kids to come for many generations.

      • Tonio

        Kamala only sucks off-prompter.

    • wdalasio

      We need to be honest with the American people — the battle for freedom has its costs here at home, as well…

      Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to finish my sumptuous banquet and take my publicly funded limousine to my publicly funded private jet back to my publicly funded mansion, all while being attended to by a coterie of servants, retainers and hangers-on paid for by the little people.

  19. Sean

    I have things to pick up at my FFL.

    *points to avatar*

    • Ownbestenemy

      And quickly lost in a boating accident on the way home I assume?

      • db

        I heard that ATF is working on a rule requiring all guns to be sold with not only a trigger lock, but also water wings from now on.

  20. Pope Jimbo

    What? Swiss Lattes are illegal in Florida?

  21. grrizzly

    A report from an American Marine corps veteran who left the United States to fight the Russians with the Ukrainian Foreign Legion.

    Yes, I was here today and blown off the top bunk of my bunk bed in the barracks by the first missile. I made a long post about it but my posts don’t show on this thread for some reason. This is where all the foreign legion troops are, the 35 killed were all Ukrainian mostly due to a direct hit on their barracks next to mine. The base is destroyed, the weapons depot destroyed, possibly the end of the legion. About 60 people with their heads on straight including myself left after the attack. They’re sending untrained guys to the front with little ammo and shit AKs and they’re getting killed. The guys who stayed got bombed again in the afternoon and casualties aren’t clear. If you still want to to join them I’m not sure what the process will be since literally all the infrastructure supporting the training/ assignments of volunteers is all destroyed. The guys who are there now will all be going to Kviv and many will die, the legion is totally outgunned and has a few crazy Ukrainian leaders. After the attack one officer wanted to march everyone to Kviv and fight. Absolute insanity. Stay home.

    Left the legion. Some are staying to help refugees – some going home. But it is clear that going to Kviv with the legion is nearly a fucking death sentence. A medic died the day after he got to the front, another guy tried shooting an AK at an [Armoured Personnel Carrier] and was killed immediately, a 10 man team was nearly wiped out – 8 killed and 2 crawled away. Your body will not be retrieved from the frontlines either.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I am actually pretty surprised that Omar hasn’t made a stink out of this. I’d actually even agree that there seems to be a double standard when it comes to trying to go fight in a foreign country.

        A federal jury has found three men guilty of plotting to join the terror group ISIS and commit murder overseas.

        Guled Omar, 21, and Mohamed Farah, 22, were found guilty on all charges. Abdirahman Daud, 22, was found guilty on all terror counts, but not guilty of lying to a grand jury.

      • Compelled Speechless

        If these people didn’t have double standards, they wouldn’t have any standards at all.

      • Swiss Servator

        Volunteering to help a recognized nation-state vs a designated, non-state terrorist group.

    • EvilSheldon

      Great OPSEC there, devil dog. I bet your COs loved it when you tossed damage/casualty reports up on the fucking internet…

      • Swiss Servator

        I suspect it may not be true…

      • EvilSheldon

        One would hope not, but he was stupid enough to be there in the first place…

  22. JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

    Maybe the US government should try coming clean about what has been going on in those biolabs. Unfortunately biolab is a rather elastic term like “sexual assault”. Whereas sexual assault these days can mean anything from an awkward kiss after a bad date to full on gang rape, biolab can mean anything from the kind of lab you’d find at nearly any university to a full on weapons lab. If it’s closer to the former, then it’s no big deal. But when I hear Nuland say we are worried about the Russians getting their hands on material from the lab, and when I see how US laws were circumvented to fund gain of function research in Wuhan, I get a little suspicious. By the way, where is Fauci these days?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      COVID is old and busted. He’s switching to the new hotness.

      https://imgflip.com/i/68lr3z

    • db

      Nuland say we are worried about the Russians getting their hands on material from the lab

      Hmmm, I wonder what could possibly interest the Russians, who are so infamously cagey when it comes to non-proliferation of unconventional weapons, in biolabs we’re financing in Ukraine? You know, those Russians, who had their own bioweapons programs for decades, and continue to have them?

    • R C Dean

      The US funding for those labs came from the DoD (or so it has been reported and not, as far as I know, denied). That certainly points in one direction, and not the benign one.

      The fact that these labs are in Ukraine also points in the non-benign direction.

      The lying by US officials is harder to read – they do it so reflexively, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are trying to hide anything. But that’s probably the way to bet.

    • The Other Kevin

      Nobody’s more pissed at Putin than Fauci right now. That was HIS spotlight.

  23. Tundra

    Maduro says no.

    I wonder where els we can get oil?

    • Ownbestenemy

      It’s a mystery.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I haven’t a fucking clue myself.

        *resumes smacking self in face*

    • The Other Kevin

      Oh well, can’t be helped, nothing to be done.

  24. Shpip

    Tried to get the Bosslady to make me this for Pi Day, but she refused, saying things like “Your last heart attack was a complete PITA for me” and “You’re worth more to me alive than dead (for now, anyway).”

    Still, would try.

    • Ownbestenemy

      2/3rds of that is wasted with putting it all on top of pecan.

    • Nephilium

      Why not make the Cherpumple?

    • Grummun

      They had a crust.. the had apple pie filling… how did they go so wrong?

  25. DEG

    Reign, wearing a white shirt, underpants and white socks, clearly unbothered, does the gross deed in front of an American flag in the coffee shop — while looking around at patrons.

    It’s his personal take on the Pledge of Allegiance.

    U.S. national security adviser Jake Sullivan on Monday raised concerns about China’s alignment with Russia in a seven-hour meeting with Chinese diplomat Yang Jiechi as Washington warned of the isolation and penalties Beijing will face if it helps Moscow in its invasion of Ukraine.

    What could possibly go wrong?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Well, he at least was saluting

      • Pope Jimbo

        No, no, no. He was trying to run the flag up his pole to see who would salute.

  26. Pope Jimbo

    Omar might have some real competition this election.

    The race for Minnesota’s 5th Congressional District seat, currently held by U.S. Rep. Ilhan Omar, is shaping up to be one of the state’s most interesting in the 2022 midterms. Omar is already facing several Republican candidates — Royce White, Cicely Davis and Shukri Abdirahman — but as of this week, Omar has a new challenger from her own party.

    Don Samuels, 72, a community organizer who previously served as a member on the Minneapolis City Council and the Minneapolis Public Schools Board of Education, announced this week that he would be running to unseat Omar in the DFL primary.

    Born and raised in Kingston, Jamaica, Samuels said he made a lifelong commitment to living in low-income communities to help build them up. That’s what he’s been doing since he and his wife decided to move to the North Minneapolis neighborhood they’ve called home for over two decades.

    I’m deluding myself. Samuels has always been a decent person who genuinely seems to want to help people. So of course he is going to lose big. The commenters on that article are already calling him an Uncle Tom because he called Omar too radical.

    • R C Dean

      a member on the Minneapolis City Council and the Minneapolis Public Schools Board of Education

      He’s got connections, then. While I can’t single out a single Rep as the most odious, Omar is certainly on the short list.

      • R C Dean

        Oh, and shouldn’t it be “a member of“? When did journalismists and editors become semi-literate, anyway?

  27. Aloysious

    Those generic food containers looks like my mothers pantry when I was a child, with the exception of big blocks of government glue. I mean, cheese.

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      When I was 16, I worked the whole summer at a YMCA camp kitchen. After the summer was over, a friend and I stole a 20 lb. block of government cheese from the kitchen and took it with us on a canoe trip to the Boundary Waters. We got so sick of portaging it all over that we would try to offer chunks of it to other canoers on the portage. Nobody took us up on our warm sweating block of cheese.

      We left the rest deep in the woods. I’m sure there was a really constipated bear at Tin Can Mike Lake for a while.

      • Aloysious

        ‘warm sweating block of cheese’ is a combination of words I did not expect to see today.

        Or any other day, for that matter.

      • Swiss Servator

        “really constipated bear” was unexpected as well.

      • Ted S.

        That’s a bear that doesn’t shit in the woods.

      • Mojeaux

        LOL

  28. Pope Jimbo

    Get your shocked faces ready. Turns out that the soooper racist high school in Minnesoda might not be that racist after all. Independent investigators cannot find any proof that a visiting girls basketball team was subjected to racist taunts.

    School officials in New Prague say independent investigators have reviewed video of a February basketball game that allegedly included racist taunts against a visiting team, and those investigators say they don’t believe the taunts happened.

    “The findings of this investigation neither negate the lived experiences of Robbinsdale Cooper student-athletes and staff, nor does it absolve New Prague Area Schools of its responsibility to create a culture that does not tolerate inappropriate behavior,” he wrote. “We regret any harm caused to Robbinsdale-Cooper students, families, and communities. As I have stated previously, the findings of this investigation do not take away from the other incidents that have happened at the high school. Derogatory comments, including racial slurs, and racist conduct are unacceptable and will not be tolerated.”

    • Pope Jimbo

      New Prauge is also accused of having its hockey team hurl racial insults at another suburb. Of course, racial insults being so horrible, no journalo has ever written exactly what was said, which makes it tough to know for sure how horrible the New Prauge kids were.

      The third allegation of racism is …. wait for it …. kids in the stands making racist hand gestures!!!!

      In a statement after the game, New Prague school district officials said the incident involved two upper elementary students. The district said administrators addressed the incident as soon as they were made aware of the gestures, and that “when questioned, the students did not understand what the signal meant. They were mimicking something they saw at an earlier hockey game on the big screen.”

      Anyone who takes a reddit prank seriously should be fired on the spot and lose their pension.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        It’s truly amazing that the OK sign has been turned into a “hate symbol”. I wonder if any of these people step back and say, “You know what, this is stupid.”

      • Compelled Speechless

        I doubt it. Self-awareness and reflection really cut into that orgasmic feeling of pure unexamined absolute righteousness you get from straw-manning your opponents in the cheapest ways possible.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Seriously there needs to be a coming of age movie, in 80s style of 4-teenaged boys who found their first joint and started this while high.

      • juris imprudent

        That would be a documentary.

    • Ted S.

      “The findings of this investigation neither negate the lived experiences of Robbinsdale Cooper student-athletes and staff, nor does it absolve New Prague Area Schools of its responsibility to create a culture that does not tolerate inappropriate behavior,”

      It does, however, create a moral imperative to call the people who made the false allegations evil, and name them.

      • Ted S.

        And it negates the so-called “experience” of Robbinsdale Cooper students being subjected to racist taunts.

      • The Hyperbole

        “If it’s not explicitly caught on film it didn’t happen” is a bit of a stretch. That there is no incontrovertible audio/video evidence doesn’t mean it didn’t happen or that anyone made ‘false allegations’. Sure it comes down to he said/she said, and you can jump on what ever bandwagon you want but nothing is “proven” either way.

      • UnCivilServant

        However, given the record of absense of such events and the prevalence of claims being hoaxes, sans such evidence, I doubt the assertion. Probability just lands that way at this point.

      • The Hyperbole

        Doubt is fine, Teds is making blanket accusations, without evidence, he’s committing the same crime he is accusing others of making.

      • Social Justice is Neither

        I see you’re firmly on the guilty until proven innocent team. No, they made accusations without proof and at this point these lying racists don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt because they’ve abused that repeatedly.

      • rhywun

        “Guilty until proven innocent… nah, not even then.”

    • R C Dean

      The findings of this investigation neither negate the lived experiences of Robbinsdale Cooper student-athletes and staff, nor does it absolve New Prague Area Schools of its responsibility to create a culture that does not tolerate inappropriate behavior

      See, above:

      If you are morally right but not factually correct, there may be something wrong with your morals.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Woman of the Year Awards. Not just for women anymore.

    • R C Dean

      Once again, we see that there is nothing women do (except having and nursing babies) that men can’t, apparently, do better.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Literally 170 million or so women and they focus in on one of a handful of trans. Fantastic.

    • Compelled Speechless

      I really can’t wait for this kind of insanity to completely backfire when real woman finally break from still having everything stolen from them by men.

      • hayeksplosives

        When we object, we get called transphobic and hateful.

        This does not surprise conservative women who’ve been called hateful for years, but the lefty feminists are in shock.

  29. grrizzly

    Hong Kong

    Now Sars-Cov-2 is catching up, all at once – even though Hong Kong is highly vaccinated. Since the beginning of March, the city, which has 7.4 million residents, has had over 3,500 Covid deaths. That figure would translate into over 150,000 Covid deaths in the United States – in two weeks.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I can’t imagine that the density is helping.

      • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

        The buildings, or the writers?

      • hayeksplosives

        Yeah, that “translation” is completely invalid.

  30. Rebel Scum

    This seems relevant.

    Let no man call us crazy. They called Hitler crazy. But Hitler was not crazy. He was stupid. You don’t try and fight Russia and America. You get Russia and America to fight each other… and destroy each other.

  31. Ownbestenemy

    So Z’s groveling to Congress will be non-public, while he begs for our tax money.

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/1503409892434092035

    Further, they get to box out the wrongthinkers

    The speech is only open to members of Congress. To attend, lawmakers who aren’t fully vaccinated will need to wear a mask.

    If its a zoom call…why do they have to be there? Also…I am guessing China will be listening in as well which means Russia is listening in.

    • rhywun

      The speech is only open to members of Congress. To attend, lawmakers who aren’t fully vaccinated will need to wear a mask.

      OFFS.

      This just seems like a bad idea all around. Therefore it has to happen, apparently.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      LOL. They’re probably not making it public because they’re afraid he’ll threaten to release some dirty details about certain congresscritters.

      • EvilSheldon

        Apparently stealing money and screwing little girls isn’t enough to raise the public eyebrow. I’m wondering what else could be on the plate…

      • Gustave Lytton

        Video evidence of deadnaming someone.

    • Gustave Lytton

      It’s probably not a zoom call. Secure VTC by the people we don’t have on the ground there.

    • Tulip

      That’s cute.

      • hayeksplosives

        Tulip, I watched that “One Child Nation” documentary on China last night. You’re right; it was horrific.

        What didn’t surprise me was that China forced sterilizations and abortions when the policy was in place. What did surprise me is that once China figured out it could make money adopting abandoned children abroad, they kidnapped children to fill the demand. That is sick.

        Also noteworthy were the varied feelings today of the people who participated in enforcement or who were affected by it back then. Some were clearly remorseful, like the midwife who’d aborted thousands of babies. Some had no regrets at all and still would do it again. Most did the “just following orders”routine.

        The places the filmmaker visited looked so desperately poor, even now.

        A Chinese woman worked for my dad in the 1980s-1990s as an engineer. She had one daughter, then while she was recovering in the hospital, her husband signed the paperwork to have her sterilized. She only found out after she woke up. She managed to defect to the US during a ping-pong tournament.

        She confided in my dad, and he agreed to sponsor her then five year old daughter to come to the US. Took some doing, but she got her. She was so indoctrinated that she hated her mother and basically repeated propaganda constantly. But very soon she saw the reality of America and got to become a normal little girl. She’s a successful doctor now.

    • hayeksplosives

      He better have given him actual treats after that.

  32. hayeksplosives

    Ahem.

    For those of you interested in the US biological and chemical weapons programs in the lower 48:

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dugway_Proving_Ground

    My old test site was right next to Granite Peak.

    I also used to work at Aberdeen Proving Ground, also mentioned in the article I linked. I didn’t work down at Edgewood, but I did notice that there are “chemical sniffers” mounted on poles throughout the town of Aberdeen proper. They look a lot like cell towers but are much closer to the ground.

    Aberdeen (Edgewood) happened to be working on a mobile chemical weapons disposal lab, packaged into 2 standard shipping containers, when Syria’s chemical weapons were seized in 2013-2014. So the disposal system was shipped to Italy and set up there to receive the seized weapons and neutralize them. The mission to build the disposal system and destroy the weapons was successful.

    https://www.popularmechanics.com/military/a10874/the-science-of-disarming-syrias-chemical-weapons-16982565/