Monday Afternoon Links

by | Mar 21, 2022 | Daily Links | 265 comments

Work today.

I am good at making decisions. I am not afraid to give my considered opinion. It has made me a good lawyer in the past, and a good servant of the Swiss in the present. But sometimes I run into massive opposition. Today was one of those days. I folded, as it wasn’t worth the consequences of a fight. But I am still not happy. Let us see if things out in the wide world will help cheer me up.

  • Internal feud in the House of Mouse? Sounds good to me.
  • Ohio horning in on Florida’s turf?! I approve.
  • Eh, getting there, Ontario, getting there. It’s a start.
  • “If you ever have a snake in your engine bay or come out on the windscreen, the best thing to do is pull over safely and turn the car off and give your local snake catcher like us a call!” Sunshine Coast Snake Catchers 24/7 said. OK, that is so…Australia. Thumbs up.

Huh, guess I am bit more cheerful now!  Comments are all yours.

About The Author

Swiss Servator

Swiss Servator

Currently serving at the pleasure of a Swiss multinational. Previously a Soldier, rugby player, lawyer, bouncer, bartender, substitute teacher, risk manager, and cubicle mushroom. Will work for raclette.

265 Comments

  1. Tres Cool

    Free Cascadia!

    • Surly Knott

      With every 10 gallons of gas.

      • Mojeaux

        I LOLd.

  2. Count Potato

    “Ex-Disney boss Bob Iger and his handpicked successor Bob Chapek ‘no longer speak after Iger infuriated Chapek by reversing retirement to “help” during COVID and spoke out against Florida’s “Don’t say gay” bill'”

    Because there is nothing gay at Disney?

    • Count Potato

      “He is said to have angered many of Disney’s thousands of Orlando-based staffers, although polls show that the bill itself is supported by a majority of Americans.”

      Maybe the majority of Americans weren’t fooled by the stupid name its opposition gave it?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I take that to mean a lot of Disney employees are into talking sex with little kids.

        Duly noted

      • Count Potato

        I take it that a lot of Disney employees are gay. Which is true. And like most people, don’t follow the news all that closely.

      • rhywun

        Why would currently gay adults care about the sex education of eight-year-olds?

        That’s the part I don’t get. But I’m largely immune to tribalism.

      • Tonio

        Because without woke teachers gay children would never even know that gay exists.

      • slumbrew

        Exactly right. That’s why there have been no gay people until recently.

      • rhywun

        I believe the thinking goes that if we celebrate our gay eight-year-olds that their peers won’t give them shit.

      • Sensei

        I assume it’s because wrongthink must be punished.

      • Tonio

        That, too.

      • Ted S.

        As opposed to formerly gay adults?

        /ducking

      • kbolino

        The paradox of Whig history: “the arc of history bends towards justice” but also we’re only ever one step away from regressive dystopia.

      • kbolino

        Another “fun” fact: every year or so there’s a major sting of Disney employees involved in child porn and/or child sex trafficking.

      • Rat on a train

        3 or 4 in the latest if I recall.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Disney employees are into talking sex with little kids.

        “Talk, talk, talk! Doesn’t anyone fuck anymore?”

        – 5 year old visiting Orlando

      • slumbrew

        Jay-sus…

  3. Ted S.

    “If you ever have a snake in your engine bay or come out on the windscreen, the best thing to do is pull over safely and turn the car off and give your local snake catcher like us a call!” Sunshine Coast Snake Catchers 24/7 said.

    Get these motherfucking snakes out of my motherfucking car!

    • Tonio

      Snakes. Why does it always have to be snakes?

      • Raven Nation

        Yes

      • EvilSheldon

        Brown Tree Snakes are only a little venomous, as opposed to Eastern Brown Snakes, which are pretty much death on no legs.

      • Rat on a train

        I’m thankful we get imported Japanese spiders instead of Australian snakes.

  4. Tres Cool

    “7 hospitalized after fentanyl exposure at Stryker juvenile detention center”

    They were planning a jailbreak a la Chechens in a theater.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      I’m guessing more like someone was about to be searched and dumped the drugs into the air vent to avoid being caught. Hilarity ensued.

      • Tres Cool

        Pretty sure I’ve been to worse parties.

      • Tres Cool

        Holy shit! Ted links something I like!

        Also, that song always reminded me of the OT story of Onan.

      • MikeS

        You’re slipping, Ted. That’s a very good song.

      • The Hyperbole

        It’s probably the 3DN version though. Wilson Pickett or GTFO

      • MikeS

        /heads to YouTube

        Very funky. They’re each good in their own way.

      • Tundra

        I agree. Homage, for sure.

    • Ted S.

      Those weren’t innocent victims; those were CIA plants.

    • kbolino

      “Fun” fact: the Chechen terrorists are fighting on the Ukrainian side right now.

      • Ted S.

        I thought the Russians sent a Chechen platoon into Ukraine.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        They did, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there are other Chechens taking the opportunity to fight Russians.

      • kbolino

        Yes, the Chechens fighting on Russia’s side are not the separatists/terrorists.

      • Swiss Servator

        Just some good old boys that would never hurt a fly…

      • kbolino

        They wouldn’t be very good soldiers if so.

      • Swiss Servator

        The Chechen regime is brutal and savage, same as the separatists.

      • kbolino

        So is the Russian regime and the Ukrainian regime. There’s not actually any “good guys”, including the EU, NATO, and US.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Stryker juvenile detention center

      If they wanted to do something about juvenile delinquents, they should be sending them to the Stryper juvenile detention center.

      • rhywun

        There’s a Jeff Stryker joke in there somewhere, but anything I might care to link would be NSFW.

      • Ted S.

        I was thinking Ted Striker from Airplane!.

    • Fourscore

      Some people go to better parties than I do.

    • Mojeaux

      *splatcrunch*

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah, won’t be using that right arm for a looooooooong time.

      • Tres Cool

        As someone that’s broken my left arm twice, that resonated deeply with me.

      • Fourscore

        So no threesome for you during the healing time

      • Tres Cool

        To the contrary- you use that forearm cast to hold the FUPA out of the way. Kinda like a trench box when you’re digging to prevent cave-ins and getting smothered.

        The worst part is when all that sweat percolatin’ up from the fat roll that covers her c-section scar starts to soften the plaster….

      • Lackadaisical

        You make it sound so appealing.

      • Tres Cool

        You need to think outside the box. Or about the box. Its a hidden treasure.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        …FUPA…

        I never stop learning at this place!

      • rhywun

        Once here.

        *shudder*

      • Tres Cool

        You made me think of Adam West Batman. And a vibrant splash across the screen “KER-SPLAT!”

        *Of course the King of onomatopoeia was Don Martin.

      • Tonio

        OMG, I had forgotten about Don Martin. Yes, yes he was.

  5. Fourscore

    I’m tired of covid, Ukraine and Climate Change. Oh, and inflation

    • The Other Kevin

      Unfortunately some of those things aren’t tired of you yet.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        Like Steve Smith.

      • Swiss Servator

        STEVE SMITH GOT GOOD STAMINA!

      • rhywun

        CAN GO HOURS!

    • Ted S.

      Gas was surprisingly down here, to $3.959/gallon.

      There was also a Biden “I did that!” stick on the pump just for Hyperbole.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        Pfft. I had the pleasure of paying about $6.50/gallon last Friday.

      • Fourscore

        You’re probably enjoying Global Cooling while the rest of us still suffer the heat

      • The Last American Hero

        Saw one at Costco on Saturday. $4.40.

      • Drake

        Paid $4.39 for no- premium. Was filling the cans for lawnmower as well as the car.

      • Drake

        no ethonal. The spell check on this phone sucks.

    • Sensei

      Even Fauci has been told to shut up. However, Team Blue can’t quite seem to get the genie back in the bottle.

      “Hopefully, we won’t see a surge. I don’t think we will. The easiest way to prevent that is to continue to get people vaccinated. And for those who have been vaccinated, to continue to get them boosted, so that’s really where we stand right now,” said Fauci, though he acknowledged the U.S. will likely see an “uptick” in cases.

      Fauci says US unlikely to see surge from new COVID-19 variant

      • Ownbestenemy

        Look how its treated as a normal government info dump though with what the media are treating like a no named government employee saying stuff. Media has moved on, either cause the people have or journolist has said so.

      • Sensei

        It won’t be a surge, just an uptick!

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Fauci,
        You’re 81 years old. I know you don’t want to spend more time with your family but give it up. Just retire already.

      • Ownbestenemy

        He must, in his mind, feel the way we do right? We ‘see’ freedom and have a good understanding of it that when we see others reject it, it baffles our minds. He must feel the same way that 40% of the country said nah, we good.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Ron Paul is 86. Yes he’s still doing his thing for liberty but he’s not doing it as a Congressional Rep. If Fauci wants to go on the lecture circuit or whatever that’s find. Just don’t do it on the taxpayers dime.

      • Fourscore

        I retired as soon as I could.

        Like Dick Cheney and the draft, I had better things to do.

      • rhywun

        Amen – I can’t wait to retire. I never understood people who couldn’t figure out how to fill their days outside of working.

      • rhywun

        And take Nancy and the rest of the gerontocracy with you.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I suspect he will announce his retirement before the end of this year.

      • rhywun

        Well, NYC’s health nazi was replaced with an even worse one last week.

        Don’t count out Biden being able to do the same.

      • Pope Jimbo

        If he retires, how can he be sure his replacement won’t do something dumb? Like let a real investigation into the origins of Rona happen?

        No, I think he is staying on because he is an attention whore and he is terrified of what happens if he gives up the One Ring Rona.

    • Count Potato

      Good news! Climate change doesn’t exist. Inflation on the other hand…..

    • Gustave Lytton

      Monthly parking went up 20% this month. I’m not paying for it, but I still feel embarrassed at the price. Prices are doubled from what they were five years ago. I can’t figure out if it’s really that in demand, their trying to make it up with the remaining customers, or they’re clueless. Zero price break during the entire covid mess.

      Tried to shop around just to see in advance of my approvers saying something on the expense report. Total shit show. Republic Parking is now Reef Technology. Because parking companies are just like Facebook or Google. Neither Reef now Republic’s websites actually have working find parking pages. So much for their technology aspect.

    • Ted S.

      while the play’s composer blasts the effort as ‘an insult to me as a Black woman’”

      And yet you took the commission.

      • Mojeaux

        No, the effort to cancel it is the affront to her as a black woman.

    • The Other Kevin

      And yet Robin DeAngelo sleeps each night on a big pile of money.

    • Count Potato

      “Nobody wore a ‘cowboy hat’ (the Stetson didn’t become popular until the 20th century)”

      Otoh, most people weren’t cattle ranchers.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Yeah the whole “Wild West” narrative in terms of violence really played nicely into the modern day gungrabber culture didn it?

    • Animal

      Couple of nitpicks:

      “Stetson” is a brand, not a style of hat. Stetson makes all sorts of hats. Indiana Jones’ fedora was a Stetson. Today Stetson still makes a line of fedoras and some rather nice newsboy caps, among other things. (I favor a big gus-crown hat with at least a 4″ brim, personally.)

      The fore-runner to what folks today call a “cowboy hat” was probably the broad-brimmed slouch hat popular among cavalrymen and actual working cowboys.

      If anyone’s curious about the real Old West, I recommend Dennis McLoughlin’s Wild and Woolly: An Encyclopedia of the Old West. McLoughlin was a Brit but he did his homework.

      • Count Potato

        “Indiana Jones’ fedora was a Stetson.”

        Stetson called it a “Stalker”.

      • B.P.

        Cool hats but… Jeb “Stewart”?

      • db

        yeah…

  6. Count Potato

    “Sneaky New Yorkers taking advantage of a city clear-air initiative are making up to $225,000-a-year by reporting idling trucks to the city, then claiming a cut of the $350 fine.

    Leaving a truck engine idling for more than three minutes is an offense in NYC, with anyone who submits video proof to the Department of Environmental Protection (DEP) handed $85 per proven violation.

    Environmental lawyer Ernest Welde, 47, says he submitted proof of thousands of violations last year, which are yet to be processed, but which he estimates will earn him between $200,000 and $225,000.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10636083/NYC-clear-air-vigilantes-reveal-theyre-making-225-000-year-reporting-idle-trucks.html

    CWAA

    • Tundra

      Cunte.

    • B.P.

      “Welde also highlighted the dangers involved. He said: ‘I go out thinking I’m going to get assaulted.

      ‘I’ve had my bags stolen by truck drivers. I’ve been physically assaulted. I’ve had to call the police a couple of times.'”

      You don’t say. Keep fucking with normal people, do-gooders.

    • Tonio

      It would be a shame if he were found gigged like a frog in a back alley somewhere. There’d be thousands of suspects to interview.

      • one true athena

        Dude wants snitch culture, it’s only fair.

      • Tres Cool

        Who snitches on the snitches?
        Do they also get stitches ?

    • rhywun

      I don’t like a snitch either, but stupid question – how hard is to turn your engine off for a few minutes? If it’s more costly to turn it off and on, I’ll accept that answer. Otherwise, turn it off.

      • Count Potato

        It’s more costly to turn it on and off. It wastes time, burns more fuel, and puts more wear on the battery, starter, engine, etc.

      • rhywun

        Interesting. Do you suppose there’s any impact on passers-by? These trucks are parked along sidewalks. I know that’s another excuse the city will trot out.

      • Count Potato

        Well, they make noise and exhaust, but it’s not like NYC is known for its quiet and clean air.

      • hayeksplosives

        Kind of depends on whether it’s diesel or gasoline engine, doesn’t it? For Diesel (I hear) it’s much better to idle.

      • Count Potato

        For only three minutes, it would apply to both. Diesels are more efficient and wear less.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s a relative question. Constant stopping and starting is bad for any engine. Diesels have it worse, particularly the newer ones with all the emissions claptrap.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        In Ye Olden Tymes diesel’s were underpowered and hard to start, especially when cold. Modern engines are behemoths, turbo-charged beasts often with 24 Volt systems (and I’ve heard of 48 Volt rigs). Old habits die hard, though.

        Also occurs to me: isn’t an idling vacant vehicle an invitation for theft?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Not just vacant I bet. Anytime it’s not moving. So if you’re in the cab waiting when it’s cold/hot, sucks to be you.

  7. Count Potato

    “Big tech censorship isn’t only bad for conservatives. It’s devastating for everyone except Hunter Biden and wealthy, white progressive elites like him, writes liberal BATYA UNGAR-SARGON….

    A recent Pew Research Center study found that just 6 percent of Americans are on the progressive left, and it’s the whitest of all the sub-groups of the Democratic coalition; nearly seven in 10 Americans on the progressive left are white, while just 6 percent of black Democrats and 7 percent Hispanic Democrats identify as such.

    Progressives are also much more likely to have a four-year college degree than other Americans, and they are the most cautious when it comes to COVID.

    And it’s these over-educated, overly cautious progressives whose side Big Tech has taken when it comes to COVID—at the expense of the middle and working class, at the expense of poor black and Hispanic children, and at the expense of the truth.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10636099/Big-Tech-censorship-isnt-bad-conservatives-writes-liberal-BATYA-UNGAR-SARGON.html

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      7 out of 10 on the progressive left are white. Isn’t the US population about 65% white?

      • rhywun

        Yeah, that seems odd. I bet it’s more like 9.9 of them are white.

      • kbolino

        Innumeracy is extremely common. Almost everyone can “read” nowadays so it’s harder to gauge the intelligence gradient at a glance, but bring numbers into the picture, and the difference becomes stark again.

      • slumbrew

        The NYC one just gob-smacked me;

        ~ 350 million people in the country. NYC would have to have a population north of 100 million people for it to be 30% of the country.

      • hayeksplosives

        Trans: 10%. Gay: 30%.

        If you judge by tv and movies, you’d guess the same.

      • MikeS

        Ditto for Black: 41%

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        Yup. I think the results illustrate the power the media have in shaping our perceptions, and it ain’t good.

      • Shpip

        If you judge by tv and movies, you’d guess the same.

        According to the commercials I see, two-thirds of Americans are in interracial marriages.

        The other third are same-sex.

      • slumbrew

        Growing up in Long Island, I figure something like 20% of the country was Jewish.

        In my defense, I was a child. There’s no excuse to be so wildly off as an adult.

      • Raven Nation

        “There’s no excuse to be so wildly off as an adult.”

        Or at least be willing to say, “I don’t know.”

      • rhywun

        I recall recently something like “fatality of the vid” – some insanely off number like 30%.

    • kbolino

      If only Comrade Stalin knew!

    • Sensei

      Journolist 2.0

      America Has a Free Speech Problem

      The editorial board is a group of opinion journalists whose views are informed by expertise, research, debate and certain longstanding values. It is separate from the newsroom.

      For all the tolerance and enlightenment that modern society claims, Americans are losing hold of a fundamental right as citizens of a free country: the right to speak their minds and voice their opinions in public without fear of being shamed or shunned.

      This social silencing, this depluralizing of America, has been evident for years, but dealing with it stirs yet more fear. It feels like a third rail, dangerous. For a strong nation and open society, that is dangerous.

      How has this happened? In large part, it’s because the political left and the right are caught in a destructive loop of condemnation and recrimination around cancel culture. Many on the left refuse to acknowledge that cancel culture exists at all, believing that those who complain about it are offering cover for bigots to peddle hate speech. Many on the right, for all their braying about cancel culture, have embraced an even more extreme version of censoriousness as a bulwark against a rapidly changing society, with laws that would ban books, stifle teachers and discourage open discussion in classrooms.

      Many Americans are understandably confused, then, about what they can say and where they can say it. People should be able to put forward viewpoints, ask questions and make mistakes and take unpopular but good-faith positions on issues that society is still working through — all without fearing cancellation.

      March 18, 2022

      By The Editorial Board

      The editorial board is a group of opinion journalists whose views are informed by expertise, research, debate and certain longstanding values. It is separate from the newsroom.

      For all the tolerance and enlightenment that modern society claims, Americans are losing hold of a fundamental right as citizens of a free country: the right to speak their minds and voice their opinions in public without fear of being shamed or shunned.

      This social silencing, this depluralizing of America, has been evident for years, but dealing with it stirs yet more fear. It feels like a third rail, dangerous. For a strong nation and open society, that is dangerous.

      How has this happened? In large part, it’s because the political left and the right are caught in a destructive loop of condemnation and recrimination around cancel culture. Many on the left refuse to acknowledge that cancel culture exists at all, believing that those who complain about it are offering cover for bigots to peddle hate speech. Many on the right, for all their braying about cancel culture, have embraced an even more extreme version of censoriousness as a bulwark against a rapidly changing society, with laws that would ban books, stifle teachers and discourage open discussion in classrooms.

      Many Americans are understandably confused, then, about what they can say and where they can say it. People should be able to put forward viewpoints, ask questions and make mistakes and take unpopular but good-faith positions on issues that society is still working through — all without fearing cancellation.

      • kbolino

        “We were some of the biggest cheerleaders and amplifiers for this, but we’re still going to make it sound like our opponents are worse”

      • Sensei

        make mistakes and take unpopular but good-faith positions on issues that society is still working through

        But settled things like cake baking for gay weddings are off the table.

      • kbolino

        “Free speech” allow vigorous debate within a narrow range of topics. After some time, pick a side (the one more agreeable to the exercise of power, of course), declare the debate over, slide the window of acceptable debate to a new frontier.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        “Americans are losing hold of a fundamental right as citizens of a free country: the right to speak their minds and voice their opinions in public without fear of being shamed or shunned”

        Have we ever had that right? Normally this was done through local community actions usually with their own rules and procedures. Nationally this started with the House un-American activities committee.

      • kbolino

        Nationally this started with the House un-American activities committee.

        Not even:

        Hays Code, Schenck, First Red Scare, suspension of legal process in the Civil War, Alien and Sedition Acts

        And these are just the ones that are off the top of my head.

    • Not Adahn

      A recent Pew Research Center study found that just 6 percent of Americans are on the progressive left, and it’s the whitest of all the sub-groups of the Democratic coalition; nearly seven in 10 Americans on the progressive left are white, while just 6 percent of black Democrats and 7 percent Hispanic Democrats identify as such.

      Those last two stats have no bearing on the first, you innumerate fuck.

  8. kbolino

    In honor of the GOP not going scorched Earth against Jackson’s nomination, I’ve found some excerpts from The Art of War written in an alternate universe by Republican Strategists instead of Sun Tzu:

    1. Never fight your enemies very aggressively. They don’t like this, and that’s bad.
    2. Submission is good actually, passive submission even moreso.
    3. Effective tactics are only to be used by the enemy. Otherwise, you’ll become “just like them”.
    4. If you defeat your enemies, you lose.
    5. If you surrender to your enemies, you win.
    6. You know you’ve won when your biggest fear is how you’ll be represented in your enemy’s history books.
    7. A graceful concession speech is better than accomplishing anything.
    8. Accomplishing your enemy’s agenda is better than accomplishing your own.
    9. Negotiating is when you give the enemy 90% of what they want instead of 100%.
    10. You should purge your own friends at the enemy’s slightest request, or else you might look bad.
    11. Never remember what the enemy has done to offend your own.
    12. Never forget what your own did that offended the enemy.
    13. In times of crisis, adopt the enemy’s objectives and help legitimize them.
    14. Don’t try to take control of any institutions, least of all the powerful ones.
    15. Apologize quickly whenever you accidentally tell the truth.
    16. When governing, be sure to reward your enemies and punish your friends.
    17. Wherever possible, allow the enemy to gain the initiative and set the terms of battle.

    • Ed Wuncler

      6. You know you’ve won when your biggest fear is how you’ll be represented in your enemy’s history books.
      7. A graceful concession speech is better than accomplishing anything.

      Were you recently at a meeting with the GOP bigwigs because list is the GOP to the tee.

    • Compelled Speechless

      The controlled opposition GOP requires that you sign and agree to this before you’re allowed to announce your candidacy under their banner.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I haven’t paid any attention to the process at all, but are there legitimate reasons to block Jackson’s nomination?

      • kbolino

        Only thing I’ve really seen is Hawley saying she’s soft on sex offenders. There’s a Vox “explainer” that basically says he’s right but they don’t like it or him so he’s actually wrong despite being right.

        They went after Kavanaugh’s high school years and Barrett’s children so I think it’s far better to throw “legitimacy” out the window and turn the Senate into a six-week three-ring circus again. It’s not like the Democrats were punished electorally for these acts.

      • hayeksplosives

        Many of her decisions have been overturned by higher courts, including the US Supreme Court, so she’d bring an iffy “new” interpretation of law.

        That’s reason enough to block, in my view.

      • The Hyperbole

        Meh, I’d need to know why her rulings were overturned, she could have been right. How often do we (glibs) criticize upper court for overruling lower courts based on “woke” BS. If she was wrong fine, but just being overturned by some higher court that is often wrong itself is a weak reason for blanket disqualification.

      • rhywun

        She’s a vocal supporter of BLM and CRT. I mean, fine, but that’s a “No” from me, dawg.

      • Raven Nation

        One thing in her favor is that she’s never been a prosecutor. She actually spent some time as a public defender. According to CATO, she’d be the first nominee since Thurgood Marshall to not be a prosecutor.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        She has an “Interpretive” view of the Constitution rather than a “Structural”* view. That is a non-starter for me.

        *Brain fart on the correct term.

  9. Ownbestenemy

    Desalinated the store-bought corned beef and have applied a liberal amount of: cracked pepper and coriander, ground mustard seeds, and garlic and onion powder. Wrapped it all up and getting ready to toss on the smoker. I will take it to 160 deg and then steam it to 202 deg. Pastrami just like that.

    • Tonio

      Sounds delicious.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Damn straight it is

      • Pope Jimbo

        Damn straight

        Is this a result of the “Don’t Say Gay” kerfuffle?

  10. Sean

    YAY! After 15 days, the tards at the USPS found my package and it’s back on it’s way. For now.

    *crosses fingers*

    • rhywun

      I just got one today, three weeks late. It was only shipped yesterday, though.

      I still have two more that reached my city and were “delivered to another carrier” weeks ago and then vanished in thin air.

      • hayeksplosives

        I got a thing (jewelry in a small padded envelope) today that was marked as “delivered” last week. I had assumed it was lost or stolen.

        It got here ok, though late. I’m guessing the USPS deliverers are pressured to have a high percentage of “on-time” deliveries so they are fudging the electronic books. Kinda screws with us recipients though.

      • rhywun

        Something is up at USPS. I’m hesitant to mail-order anything now.

      • hayeksplosives

        Mine was a small sliver saints “medal” of Santa Barbara, patron saint of artillerymen and blowing shit up.

        I got it from Etsy; turned out that it was made in Ukraine, so maybe it got shunted aside for extra scrutiny. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  11. Shpip

    A guy with a Datsun 240z blows up the gearbox. He goes to the parts store and they want $1500 for a replacement gear. He does some research and finds out, if he orders a crate of the gears from the manufacturer, he can get a good deal, sell the surplus, make a profit and fix his car for free. So he does.
    His crate of parts is on a plane, but the plane has engine trouble. The pilot decides to ditch the freight the plane is carrying.
    Meanwhile, two farmers are having a chat on their boundary fence when these gears the plane has dumped start landing in the paddock around them.
    One farmer says to the other, “Will you look at that! It’s raining Datsun cogs.”

      • Compelled Speechless

        Still too wide. Go narrower.

    • Sensei

      If you want to make that bilingual.

      Niisan, will you look at that! It’s raining Datsun cogs.

    • The Hyperbole

      Now that there is impressive, and not in a good way.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Now that’s a dad joke

      • Ted S.

        On the Packer board I frequent, one of the members, in talking about the upcoming NFL draft, opined that Chiggy Okonkwo is the most athletic linebacker in the draft. So I asked the guy if he wanted the Packers to get Chiggy with it.

    • db

      I love it

    • Tundra

      *Standing ovation*

    • Pope Jimbo

      Double Thumbs Up

  12. JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

    Nothing to see here. Move along. https://www.cyclingnews.com/news/rider-in-emergency-condition-after-volta-a-catalunya-opening-sprint/

    Don’t want to jump to confusion. Cyclists at that level put a tremendous load on their hearts. Even before Covid they sometimes would take substances that cause heart problems. Some have even dropped dead in the middle of a race. And Covid itself can cause heart issues, but I’m guessing we won’t be able to ask questions about this one.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      A Firth of Fifth > Supper’s Ready

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Bah…. Gilmore’d again

    • The Hyperbole

      It’d be true but no one has ever said that ‘Invisible touch’ is their best song.

  13. Old Man With Candy

    So as usual, SP has charmed all the nurses in this ward, who regale her with their life stories and unload about work frustrations and incidents. Yesterday’s was a winner.

    The Nurses Tale:

    So there’s this patient down the hall who is more than a bit senile. I went into his room and he had dropped a dook on the floor. Fine, I can clean that up, which I do.

    I go in an hour later and he’s picking shit out of his ass, I mean shoving his finger up there and pulling out nuggets, then flicking them around the room. Well, that means some hand restraints.

    An hour later, I go in and he has a baseball-sized turtlehead poking out of his asshole and is screaming at me to get a poopknife.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Damn nurses are snitching on me again.

    • kbolino

      “And then I said, Mr. President, you need to calm down”

      • Sensei

        Enjoy the veal!

      • Ted S.

        Tip the veal and try the waitress!

      • Animal

        “And then I said, Mr. President, you need to calm down”

        OK, I got a good guffaw out of the story and the reply.

    • MikeS

      screaming at me to get a poopknife

      Laughing and laughing. That’s funny stuff.

    • db

      The poop knife appears in the most unexpected places.

      • Ownbestenemy

        So with the animal handler inspection out of the way, now just to wait for the paperwork. We are in the clear for letting our business license lapse. I spoke with the lady who kept coming to the house putting up notices and she said “Oh you are redoing it? Fantastic, you won’t see me again!”

        Henderson really didn’t want to play the COVID game and Las Vegas and the state forced their hands so they have let a lot go in terms of going after places that struggled to get city services done over the past two years.

        We are back to being legit tax cattle for the city and state.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Fuck

      • slumbrew

        Hey, no shame about being in the poop knife business.

        I’m confused by the animal part, but no judgement.

      • hayeksplosives

        Good news on the bureaucracy front! Yay for youse guys.

        Are you getting a ridiculous amount of wind there today? In Pahrump it’s pretty much constant 30 mph horizontal winds with gusts up to 50 or more. Yikes.

        Still, I’m hanging out in the back yard soaking up rays. Tomorrow it’s back to work!!

    • Fourscore

      Something I’m not looking forward to.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    *raucous applause for kbolino comment #12*

  15. Ownbestenemy

    Its awkward right now. A friend (who we found out is distant blood) is getting a divorce and we were always cool with him and his wife. Well, she is the one running out and she and her mom are here at the house while my wife grooms their dog. Their dog we absolutely love…but uh…the mother is just sitting on my couch twiddling her thumbs on some weird phone call.

    • slumbrew

      awwwk-ward.

    • The Hyperbole

      So this divorcee, how much money does she have?

      • Ownbestenemy

        She is moving to Ohio…

      • The Hyperbole

        Got any recent pictures? Banking statements? No kids right?

  16. Gustave Lytton

    Discovered that while purchasing a new monitor at work requires approvals, replacement of a defective one can be done by the help desk on a self created ticket. I know where there’s a dump ground for failed monitors from a sister workgroup. My bench is going to get a new monitor sooner than I expected….

  17. Tundra
    • Count Potato

      That’s not counting all the Democrat and Republican super pacs.

  18. trshmnstr the terrible

    Hey all, I’m collecting can lids to send to SP.

    1) Take a lid, rusty or not (preferably a canning lid, but whatever you can get), write your glibs handle on it along with a message of appreciation for her immense contributions to this site. NOTE: you may get better results using a fineliner permanent marker.

    2) email me at trashy-glibs [at] disengage [dot] co (and let me know what your glibs handle is) to get the destination address for the lid.

    3) shove the lid in an envelope and get it in the mail by April 1st.

    Once I get all the lids, I’ll assemble them in a way that only a trash monster can, and I’ll send it up to SP to replenish her stock and keep OMWC in check.

    I’ll continue posting this in the links threads this week.

    NOTE: Athena has graciously offered to put messages on lids for those who, for whatever reason, can’t. (athenaofprogtown at the gmail)

    • Tundra

      Thanks for doing this, trashy and Athena.

    • kbolino

      Brilliant!

      I’ll save a lid when I cook some beans tomorrow and send one your way.

  19. Tundra

    Rockets, rockets and more rockets.

    I just assume all this is bullshit, but who knows. Supposedly Azov might be a tad fucked.

    • Drake

      Oh yeah, those guys are fucked. The Azov battalion is totally surrounded. Whatever else happens there, the Russians are going to kill all the Azoz guys they find.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      That would line up with the latest update that Ukraine rejected Russia’s demand for the surrender of Mariupol by 02:00 GMT. They’ll unleash hell now upon the city now in order to move inwards and as a lesson to the other cities under siege.

      • creech

        You got to know when to hold them and when to fold them.

  20. Pope Jimbo

    Our problem is that we refuse to spend enough money on the Rona and other pandemics. Our poor selfless public health officials have to go begging hat in hand.

    All epidemics trigger the same dispiriting cycle. First, panic: As new pathogens emerge, governments throw money, resources, and attention at the threat. Then, neglect: Once the danger dwindles, budgets shrink and memories fade. The world ends up where it started, forced to confront each new disease unprepared and therefore primed for panic. This Sisphyean sequence occurred in the United States after HIV, anthrax, SARS, Ebola, and Zika. It occurred in Republican administrations and Democratic ones. It occurs despite decades of warnings from public-health experts. It has been as inevitable as the passing of day into night.

    Even so, it’s not meant to happen this quickly. When I first wrote about the panic-neglect cycle five years ago, I assumed that it would operate on a timescale of years, and that neglect would set in only after the crisis was over. The coronavirus pandemic has destroyed both assumptions. Before every surge has ended, pundits have incorrectly predicted that the current wave would be the last, or claimed that lifesaving measures were never actually necessary. Time and again, neglect has set in within mere months, often before the panic part has been over. The U.S. funds pandemic preparedness “like Minnesota snow,” Michael Osterholm, an epidemiologist at the University of Minnesota, told me in 2018. “There’s a lot in January, but in July it’s all melted.”

    Osterholm should know. He basically got booted from his job at the Minnesoda Dept of Health because people got tired of his Pandemic Sky is Falling warnings.

      • kbolino

        How to gauge the decline of the Internet.

        The questions people would have asked in 2012: does this actually protect my device? How easy is it to spoof?

        The questions people ask in 2022: “why is it not on iPhone 10-11?”

      • Gustave Lytton

        In a previous year, “this is Apple appeasing the ninja wives of those those camel fucking towel heads”

      • kbolino

        True. The Internet was smarter, weirder, more honest, and more racist in the past.

      • Drake

        I asked my boss if I was allowed into the HQ building when I’m back in NJ next week. He didn’t know the answer.

    • creech

      Good news: for the next pandemic, there are about 100,000 brand new respirators – ordered by Trump during the Panic phase – sitting around in warehouses.
      Bad news: more money will be thrown at covid aftermath – Cal. wants to hire 10,000 counselors to talk to kids about their mask and lockdown traumas (which mental health “experts” think may take 8-10 years for the kids to overcome.)

      • Gender Traitor

        Jobs created!!! ?

  21. Count Potato

    “These loud marchers today in downtown Toronto remind me of the occupiers of Ottawa that I saw last month. Against vaccine mandates, against Chinese communists, against the World Economic Forum, anti-Trudeau, demanding freedom, and more!”

    https://twitter.com/DonnaDasko/status/1505261380882079749

    Take off, you hoser.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Apparently Donna didn’t get the memo that freedom is no longer a dirty word since Ukraine.

      • Drake

        That place has been super free since we sponsored a coup there.

    • rhywun

      Horrible, horrible freedom.

  22. Tundra

    It might be time for a little TDN binge.

    One.

    My wife just walked past my office – “what the hell are you listening to now?!?”

    She just doesn’t understand real pop.

      • The Hyperbole

        One is a horrible song, Never been to Spain is a good novelty song at best, ditto Joy to the World, I was thinking maybe Eli’s Coming or Chest Fever might be good, but after giving them a fresh listen, they don’t hold up too well either. 3DN may just be right behind the Beach Boys and the Grateful Dead in the shitty rock and roll band hall of fame.

      • Tundra

        Wrong.

      • The Hyperbole

        Other than Festus, you are the Glib whom’s musical taste I respect the most, but in this case we will just have to agree to disagree.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I’m re-discovering a lot of music that I dismissed as “pop-crap” when younger because I was served up the Top 40 3 minute-versions of them.

        Case in point: “Angry Eyes” by Loggins and Messina. Turns out to be a >7 minute song with a killer interlude that somehow never showed up on 94 Rock.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9iTjVfh558

      • kinnath

        That’s one of my all time favorites. Brilliant. There’s live version out with the old guys sounding awesome.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      My buddy and I had tickets for 3DN. We were too young to drive so my buddy’s mom drove us down. When we got to the auditorium there was a gang fight going on outside so his mom refused to let us get out of the car. Never got a refund, either.

      • kinnath

        Saw them when I was about 17. Great show.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Before every surge has ended, pundits have incorrectly predicted that the current wave would be the last, or claimed that lifesaving measures were never actually necessary.

    And, again, the inevitable assertion everything put forward as “mitigation” has been unassailably necessary and effective.

    Wearing argyle socks has kept me safe from the plague. Argyle socks should be mandatory.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    She just doesn’t understand real pop.

    After reading the discussion above, I misread that.

    • hayeksplosives

      GET THE POPKNIFE!!!

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Freedom of association? What an idiotic concept.

    Two of the Supreme Court’s conservatives said Monday that religious organizations should be fully exempt from nondiscrimination laws and free to hire only people who share their beliefs.

    Justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito made their views known as the court declined to take up a dispute over a Seattle religious nonprofit group’s refusal to hire an applicant who was in a same-sex relationship. They agreed the case was at a preliminary stage and not yet ripe for their review, but they said the court should confront the issue in a future case.

    Writing for both of them, Alito strongly suggested how they would rule in such a dispute: “To force religious organizations to hire messengers and other personnel who do not share their religious views would undermine not only the autonomy of many religious organizations but also their continued viability.”

    Somebodt should ask the Constitutional scholars at NBC whether NBC news should be forced to hire a card carrying Nazi to read the news.

    • The Hyperbole

      My only objection is why limit it to religious organizations? This is where the right always loses me.

      • Tundra

        My only objection is why limit it to religious organizations?

        Totally agree.

        I was listening to a podcast the other day with a pastor who eschewed the tax-free status and went renegade. De-coupling from the Machine seems like a pretty good plan.

      • The Hyperbole

        Good for him. Protected/privileged groups are bullshit, it amazes me how many people seem to get this but then their solution is to ensure that their group is also one of the protected/privileged instead of just eliminating the concept altogether.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        This is another crossroad where pure libertarianism runs headfirst into the wall of reality. It’s not a binary choice between no limitations and only allowing religious exemptions. The sound of the Supreme Court declining to the case is the sound of the ratchet clicking yet again in one direction.

        The religious exemptions are the last remaining bulwarks of freedom in many areas. Homeschooling only exists as an alternative option to government schooling in America today because of the religious exemption. It would be fantastic to see this expanded far away from religion, but that opportunity to expand wouldn’t exist without the religious foothold. Religious exemptions got a lot of people vaccine exemptions when medical exemptions were turned down left and right. It would sure be nice if the government didn’t coerce everyone into getting a shot, but the religious exemption gave a lot of people outs who had nowhere else to turn. That buys time to

        So yeah, I completely agree that it shouldn’t be limited to religious organizations. The ratchet usually only turns one way though, and most any place to push back just a little to buy some more breathing room is welcome.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Because freedom of religion is explicitly established in the Constitution. Freedom of association is inferred.

        The right in this case is simply being constructionist, which I prefer.

        That is not to say I don’t want freedom of association across the board, but I think we can see where a non-constructionist view of the Constitution has gotten us.

      • The Hyperbole

        “or the right of the people peaceably to assemble”

        What is inferred about that?

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Tell that to the January 6th political prisoners.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I think it’s more about the right to disassociate than to associate.

        At least that’s where the legal system has attacked it. You can have your country club, but you have to admit women.

  26. LCDR_Fish

    Random sportsball question. Don’t follow too much, but a week or so ago, I was surprised to see NC State ranking higher than UNC [and even Duke???] for basketball – but then I checked my buddy’s bracket and State wasn’t even listed. Did they somehow get kicked out due to a poor showing at the ACC tournament? Or was I misreading things initially?

    • Shpip

      You might have inadvertently looked at the women’s DI rankings. NC State is top 5.

      • LCDR_Fish

        That might have been it, but I could have sworn the ticker said NCAAM and my buddies didn’t disabuse me of the notion.

      • robc

        Wolfpack Men finished 15th in the ACC.

      • Ted S.

        There are 15 teams in the ACC now?

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        The Lobos?

        Oh, you mean a real team.

    • Rat on a train

      Somehow Fullerton made the tournament and not as the last ranked team. They still lost in the first round.

    • rhywun

      Sick burn. ?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It won’t be silly when the economy goes to absolute shit and people start looking for outgroups to blame. They’re reveling in the moral superiority now, but it may comes back to bite them in the ass.

      Paglia has mentioned this in the past. They’re pushing too hard and the reactionary phase is going to be bad.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        There was a time when the women hung out together and the men hung out together at family gatherings. I don’t see where constant commingling of the sexes in everything has necessarily made us better.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        “I don’t want to hear about the problems with your period and you don’t want to listen to me talk about the rebuild of my Posi-Trak differential. You hang out in the kitchen and we will be out on the patio.”

        Ahh, simpler times.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        “And make me a sammich and bring me a beer”

        (Slaps honey on the toochis)

      • Gender Traitor

        There was a time when the women hung out together and the men hung out together at family gatherings.

        Not all of us particularly enjoyed that tradition. ?

      • Homple

        It was perfectly natural. Back then there were two genders and they were allowed to be different. Women talked about women stuff and men talked about men stuff.

        After which they went home and lived together and cooperated and had a life and such. But they weren’t perpetually stuck together at the hip or something.

        Now we’re told we’re androgynous and fully interchangeable but inseparable and expected to act like we believe it.

  27. Not an Economist

    All those in Texas stay safe from the storms.

      • Sean

        Mornin

        ?

        see below