As I wrote this review a tornado raged ahead in Panama City Beach. I was the little blue pin, crawling along the shoreline roads. We drove just to the south of it. I clicked on the button that said “Future” on my map and it showed Vincent Price, cackling and leering.
This movie flew under the radar for the most part. It has a strong cast, a good original storyline so naturally the studio had no idea what to do with it. “It’s not a sequel! What are these, Canadians? I thought this was going to be a vampire film!”
This film was released in Dallas and it slowly faded away from there. Too bad. This is a nice effort, mislabeled as a vampire film (so it disappointed the horror crowd) and shown at an art house theater (so it disappointed the crowd that listens to poetry and drinks coffee).
This movie also gets confused with Bloodsucking Bastards, which also took place in an office, and had corporate vampires. Folks, this isn’t a blood sucking vampire film. It is about a race of nigh-immortal creatures who have to live near a special stone to stay healthy. They also eat human flesh which makes them ghouls. Identify your monsters correctly, IMDB! This secret society of creatures was given a safe place to live by President James Garfield, who himself was one of the creatures. Like most government sponsored projects, once they had a safe place, it never evolved with the times. All the creatures work and live in a business called (Berm-Tech) which makes telephones. This is in 2007, when nobody even had a need for an old style phone. Once the leader of the Nether folk falls prey to a kind of Alzheimer’s that started to make him crazy, the hi-jinks begins!
Human flesh consumption! Puppy Love! Judd Nelson! Remington Bison black powder pistols! Wait, WTF? Yeah. Not going to spoil it but that is a real WTF moment. Was there nothing else in the studio for a weapon, bro? Did anyone on the set know what it was? That’s all I will say.
I have jabbered enough. I am driving back from Orlando in the Mother of All Storms and I haven’t stopped to take a leak in four hours. I wrote this review while the wife drove. So watch! Or don’t! Everything is voluntary! Except maybe stopping to take a piss in a tornado! Wait, that is voluntary too, but a really bad idea!
Next week is a Three Stooges movie – Have Rocket, Will Travel. We are taking a field trip to YouTube! I hope that link is still up when we get there!
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This secret society of creatures was given a safe place to live by President James Garfield, who himself was one of the creatures.
Huh.
Diving in!
I wonder if the folks that did the opening credits were “Mystery!” fans.
There are a lot of references in this. I have yet to catch them all.
This movie has Dave Foley and Darrell Hammond!?! Sign me up!
And Jason Mewes of Jay and Silent Bob fame!
And Steve from Blues Clues!
Next week is a Three Stooges movie – Have Rocket, Will Travel.
Too bad it’s not Snow White and the Three Stooges
If I could find it. I found Three Stooges in outer Space on Crackle, which has some irritating log ins. Oddly Three Stooges is not streaming much lately. Maybe MeTV has the rights?
MeTV has the shorts, which were made at Columbia; Snow White is a Fox film. It was in the FXM rotation for a while.
But does Mike weigh the same as a duck?
Once you take the stake out, perhaps….
WORK is NOT a four letter word
HAH!
Sorry, I’m late. Starting now…..
The boardroom scene is perfect, with the “books by the yard” and coffee cups in front of everyone. And the dark stain heavy varnish office furniture.
Uh oh… the new employee…. don’t go fishing off the company pier.
Oh, he’s fishing.
I need a sign that says “No Human Flesh.” It could rival the sign I have from a bar that says “Don’t Crap in the Urinals”
“Don’t Crap in the Urinals”
A friend of mine during my undergrad years could have used that sign.
He was quite drunk.
Black Velvet Painting! HAH!
Heh. One of the heroines in my books has a painting of a matador on black velvet. Everyone remarks upon how ugly it is.
Quietly cancels Mojo’s HH invite…
?
My mom had a black velvet painting of Jesus in the laundry room when we were growing up. My brother has it now, that little shit.
A popular pastime in the 1990s was to slightly modify black velvet paintings and then put them back in the thrift store.
When I lived in France and Spain the Algerian/Moroccan door-to-door salesmen had lots different ones and if you had a picture they could reproduce a copy in a couple weeks.
Now I wish I’d had some made of my kids when they were young, to embarrass them now.
You are my hero.
Jesus watched me wash MANY crusty socks.
If you please.
Painting on black velvet: low-class.
Painting on wet plaster: high-class.
Painting on subway cars: artiste/media class.
“Vam-PYRE-ism.”
JHTFC.
It’s making me like it much more than I should.
‘We awl sound lahk thet down heah.’
You makin’ fun of my accent, boy?
You got a purty mouth…
‘Paddle faster! I hear banjos!’
Talk about product placement.
Hey, a free set is a free set! You gotta shave some corners to make a low budget film.
I thought that name sounded familiar. Checked my Untappd app and I’ve had a couple of their beers on a trip to Arizona two years ago.
“Nosferatu” clip for the win!
Gotta go join a zoom. I’ll finish tomorrow. This looks good. Thanks RJ!
Thanks!
I don’t know which absurd conversation I like better; testicular engineering or sensual ventriloquism. What’s the general opinion here?
absquatchulate?
absquatulate
ăb-skwŏch′ə-lāt″
intransitive verb
To depart in a hurry; abscond.
To die.
To take one’s self off; to decamp.
Perfectly cromulent word. Not as lovely as defenestrate, but…
Needs more absquats.
absquatulate moar!
STEVE SMITH SASQUATULATE CAMPERS; DECAMPERS ABSQUATULATE
OT. Any of you glibs looking for work?
https://www.mlive.com/news/2022/03/ss-badger-lake-michigan-car-ferry-needs-captain-for-2022-season.html?outputType=amp
Background check? Damn.
/Puts away old army uniform
Tres?
I have a friend who holds that license. But fuck Michigan.
Where’s my eco-friendly fainting couch?
There’s a bunker full of anthracite in the hold.
As I was trying to say – you can probably faint there. just don’t get into the boiler.
How is a bunker full of coal “eco-friendly”? Do you even Gaia, brah?
It’s all natural, solid-state solar power!
/subscribes to UCS’s newsletter
Hey, it comes from the earth. All natural.
I refuse to give the government my fingerprints for a six-pack captains license much less an unlimited.
That’s also the reason I don’t have any suppressors*
*that anyone knows about
Apropos of nothing, I own a CNC lathe and a CNC mill.
*ATF team perks up ears*
WE’RE TALKING CAR MUFLERS, JEEZ.
I like making mufflers for go-karts. A nice, easy to work with size.
Please send some to the youth around here. They need mufflers, badly.
*pushes case of oil filters back on shelf*
I rode the Badger once from Manitowoc to Ludington. We started a bike trip in Michigan’s upper peninsula and finished in Wisconsin and took the Badger back to Michigan. The lake was like glass that day all the way across.
“Testicular engineering.”
So, I am stuck in cheese favored hell, also known as Green Bay. Why am I in GB? Because the Mackinac bridge is closed due to falling ice, with no opening time, necessitating a four hour backtrack and detour through Chicago.
My laptop broke this am, I am drinking blueberry flavord beer and now have used up all my discretionary time. What hell damn guy!
I can’t even. Oh, yeah, sorry about the laptop and Chicago.
If it’s done right, can be good.
As for GB and Chicago; other than the PITA detour, sounds like fun.
Wait, you’re drinking Grain Belt Blu, aren’t you?
No, some Cheboygan blueberry cream ale.
*make sign of the Cross, vows $50 to Zwak’s Zelle…*
I hear it’s a long way there.
Man, you’re taking me down Nostalgia Lane. In my mind’s eye I can still see the big neon sign.
https://historicminneapolissigns.wordpress.com/signs/grain-belt-beer/
My dad loved his Grain Belt and “I learned it from you, Dad”
You have my sympathy.,especially for the beer.
Now that the movie is well underway – did anyone recognize Mr. Steve Burns from ‘Blue’s Clues?’ Probably only the peeps with kids. Or at least I hope so.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0163929/
I had heard when he left Blues Clues (a sad day for my kids), it was because he wanted to do adult stuff. I guess this qualifies.
I’m shocked he didn’t have more success in serious roles.
Oh, Hells Yeah.
Don’t recall if this band was recommended to me by someone here or on twitter – but pretty interesting. Watched a couple vids, may dig for more.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iKjSCTxke8
I like it. Bookmarking the video.
LOL I would love to show this to the Indians I work with just to see the looks on their faces.
This is tame, by Indian serial standards, but I love it so much.
https://youtu.be/HQ3Tn2MTeEs
[INDIAN SINGING INTENSIFIES]
I like it.
Here is another Indian Metal dude. I used to watch his youtube channel, Headbangers Kitchen: https://demonicresurrection.bandcamp.com/
Archy the Snake Charmer. Hot, Indian (South Asian), bagpipe-playing,chick.
Most particularly “Thunderstruck.”
You’re welcome.
South Asian woman are my weakness, bagpipes cure that issue.
That’s fucking terrible.
Wha?! U Bastid!
I feel violated.
I appreciate the effort.
I like bagpipes (honest!) but I don’t like dubstep, if that’s what that is.
Thunderstruck
When I started that video, there was a commercial for…
wait for it…
Andrew Cuomo.
He’s staging a comeback.
He’s been sending out feelers for weeks.
It’s sickening how fucking shameless he is.
In this commercial:
“Yeah, I haven’t been perfect. but…”
What a fucking piece of shit.
He’s pulling an Anthony Weiner.
Nobody should pull that Weiner.
“He’s pulling an Anthony Weiner.”
So we’re not doing phrasing.
Some ear bleach.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4Ao-iNPPUc
I’ve seen that before. Talented dudes. Much disappoint that we didn’t actually hear the “thunder of guns” when it came up.
https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tVP1zc0TDI3NzZJTzE3YPQSM1JITs3JyS9WKMkozUtJLSouKSpNzgYA27IMkw&q=2+cellos+thunderstruck&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS880US880&oq=2+cellos+th&aqs=chrome.4.69i57j0i512j46i10i512j0i10i512j46i433i512j0i512j0i10i512.6824j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
YEAH!!!!!!
This is how you play Thunderstruck on bagpipes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-Op1Mng4oY
This is how you play bagpipes.
I might be on my fourth bacardi (I’ve had a long day) but holy fuck that’s awesome!
LOL great.
I didn’t know that was AC/DC. Yes, I don’t like AC/DC. Sue me.
*eye twitch
Wait, what? How do you not know that’s AC/DC?
I mean, I don’t think Morrissey could sing his way out of a paper bag if it was on fire, but at least I know “How Soon Is Now” is The Smiths.
In defense of Rhywun:
I know every single song AC/DC recorded. None of any of your last sentence makes any sense to me.
I know every single song The Smiths recorded….
Different strokes for different folks.
Johnny Marr was a great guitarist, though.
https://youtu.be/cJRP3LRcUFg
That riff…
His voice is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.
Cannot stand it.
They’ve had two different singers.
Most passive listeners can’t tell the difference.
Me likey.
??
Without clicking that’s Bloodyhood?
They toured as “Raj Against The Machine”.
Is good.
Anyone know of an automated tartan identifier? The sett on that one is pretty huge, but not impossible.
Sadly, that is not a six shooter. It is a five shooter unless you have a death wish. There is no floating firing pin so you must have an empty cylinder if you value your feet.
The Freedom Arms 86 is an incredibly accurate revolver, but it has the most idiotic safety system ever.
General carry, yes. Keeping it behind the bar or if you know you’re going to a gunfight, load it up.
Sweet, Pasta with the hat trick!
Love that guy.
Roughly 47:30…
“I’d stay away from Human Resources…”
Always good advice.
OK, I am out. You all enjoy the evening!
Thanks, RJ 🙂
Well I’m going to watch a suspense/horror of a different kind, Mexico v. U.S. world cup qualifier.
I think we can lose this one…? I don’t follow the “Hex” very closely. I just know we should be afraid of some of the rinky-dink countries in Central America.
When we shit the bed against the Canuckistanis I knew we were in trouble.
Yeah, that was alarming. They are so hot and cold.
WTF, Pulisic? That was a gimmie.
Is he ever going to be the “star” that the media seem to think he is…?
Well done, dopes.
Nice 0:0.
Beat Panama and don’t lose by three in Costa Rica, and that should be enough, if goal differential is the first tiebreaker.
I finally bit the bullet and upgraded ios due to a new watch after breaking my old one. I hate everything about this. And the new larger display is wasted real estate. What dipshit at apple decided that complications should be curved instead of readable? I swear their entire company is focused on figuring out ways for them to show their disdain and hatred towards their customers.
I rebelled years ago from the smart watch trend and decided I would only wear a traditional watch. I loved Nixon for years. I switched about four years ago to Jack Mason (Dallas brand). I would never wear a smart watch now. My solar is still going strong bg, 1st gen Jack Mason solar with day/date and luminous face.
I have a Samsung watch 3, and could go without 90% of the features if the battery lasted more than 18 hours.
Were it me, I’d design it with a frontlit e-ink screen, and limit the data transfer capabilities to voice speeds at most. I don’t want to watch YouTube videos on my watch. I do want a watch that doesn’t require charging every 18 hours.
This is in the ballpark
Still loving my Laco
https://www.escapementmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Laco_GMT_Red_Dot_3a.jpg
Nice. If I were into watches, those are up my alley.
I’ve been eyeing one of those…
I rock a Hamilton H3 mechanical. The only people who recognize it are swap meet hounds and scroungers.
Very nice! Reminds me of the field watches that used to be sold in US Cavalry or the lucky few were able to get from an amiable supply sgt.
Led me down a rabbit hole of remembering, lusting after this now
https://www.cwcwatch.com/collections/cwc-pocket-watch/products/cwc-mechanical-pocket-watch
Oh… that is lovely.
Oh yeah … US Cav, before I went to Iraq…
Made the tour of US Cavalry, Ranger Joes, and Ranger Rags after basic. Two of those aren’t there any more.
Movado Museum watch FTW.
Yeah….it’s not for those who need the precise time… ?
Replace the gold with silver and the men’s band with the same plain black band on the ladies’ – or something metallicky but still black – and I’m interested.
I’ll sell you mine.
I don’t wear a watch at the moment, but prefer traditional watches. I want to get a Speedmaster sone day but need to spend my money on finishing this airplane. I bought the GF a Seamaster when she finished her Ph.D.–honestly I’d wear that watch. My sister has my Dad’s old Seamaster that he bought when he was in the Navy in the early 1960s, but it has a cracked lens and needs refurbishing. She doesn’t want to send it overseas for repair though.
Seamaster is a great watch.
I was seriously contemplating a Planet Ocean
https://www.omegawatches.com/watch-omega-seamaster-planet-ocean-600m-co-axial-master-chronometer-43-5-mm-21532442101001
Ultimately, I decided I’d be happier with a several less expensive watches for that price.
lolpass
But tells time down to 600m.
So somewhere within ten hours of real time? I can guess that without a watch.
Mechanical watch love!
I wear an old Orient Neptune day-to-day, and a Sinn 856-UTC for special occasions.
Sinn makes cool watches.
For special occasions I have an Illinois
from ’24
https://www.chrono24.com/illinois/illinois-1932-whippet-watch-17-jewels-cal-307-usa-made-art-deco-14k-gf–id21274645.htm
That’s great!
My dress watch is a tonneau:
https://us.gnomonwatches.com/products/presage-enamel-tonneau-ref-sarx051
I’ve worn a Monaco for years. It’s kind of a two-fer — horology types recognize it as iconic, and so do motorsport types (I probably get more “Nice Monaco” compliments in the paddock than anywhere else).
Bosslady reported the following conversations with one of the office staff this week:
Office girl: Gee, why don’t you wear an Apple watch?
Bosslady: (Glances at Lady Datejust on her wrist, back at office girl) I dunno, Katie. Guess I don’t need to get texts on my wristwatch.
Related. I’ve figured out how to deal with those asshole car designers who think super bright lights are the answer. Take a kitchen knife and lay it resting across their palm, just enough to feel that it’s there but not enough pressure to break skin. Then rotate it 45 degree, point down, and use a wooden mallet to drive the point through their hand until they understand the difference between surface area and intensity and that one isn’t a substitute for the other.
I dunno; I don’t do watches of any kind.
I’m reasonably happy with the current state of my Borg phone and desktop, though the desktop is beginning to show its age (5).
Also, Microsoft says, “Hold my beer.”
And yet the Apple cult keeps throwing money at them.
Mechanical watches are great. I have this one on my wrist right now.
https://www.laco-watches.com/en/watches/pilot-watches-basic/palermo-39
* throws the Laco gang sign *
My brother.
That’s a good looking watch.
Rock on sb, you’re very obviously a man of good taste. Looking forward to another good race weekend. Looks like the car redesign is doing what they wanted, a promising start.
Check out these Netherbeasts.
https://thumbs2.redgifs.com/FrequentPoliteRooster-mobile.mp4#t=0
NSFW.
https://thumbs2.redgifs.com/ThriftyPureFurseal-mobile.mp4#t=0
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/zbTyy/3da29cdede887b9c010ddb2a637f67ce8d25b555.webp
NSFW.
https://archive.ph/gys9H/97d26d18ba47847d5b24d73da27192aed1403c88.webp
NSFW.
Yes sir!
Your anti-nutpunch news for the day:
Today at work a coworker (35-ish; just welcomed a new child a few months ago) collapsed in the middle of the shop. First responders got there nearly immediately. His heart had stopped. Three different people gave him chest compressions. They hit him once with the AED.
When he left in the ambulance he was coherent and talking with the EMTs. Started texting coworkers about 30 minutes later.
Good things happen, too. ?
Wow, that’s great that he had care, competent people, and an AED nearby.
If you aren’t trained in CPR/first aid, do yourself and everyone around you a favor and take the training.
At the very least, learn how to use an AED. Those things save lives.
Damn, great news.
Wow! Nice.
Fuck, yeah! AED, FTW!
Wow! I’m glad he survived.
Damn, that is good news. You work with some good folks.
This First is on fire.
Self-burn!
Does it burn when you first?
He ignores our advice to have a doctor check that out.
He also ignores the fact that he has never firsted…and likely never will. SAD!
I think that’s the chlamydia.
Obligatory.
My obligatory.
https://youtu.be/Go-nTC7JSv4
Thirty First…so sad.
DUI drug recognition expert report from TV.
Money quote after false arrest for DUI drugs on person who does not drink or do drugs and toxicology report is negative: “we stand behind our officer. The toxicology report is less accurate”
Literally impossible to falsify a roadside evaluation by their standard
https://youtu.be/Zk99NofbLVQ
Not addressed:. The best trained officers get it right 85% of the time. This 15% is only people who have never done drugs and therefore are tox screen negative. If you are a regular pot smoker and these guys pull you over, you are getting a DUI conviction, impaired or not.
Wrote a script, got drunk enough to do voice work and……Windows is fucking up so I can’t activate my mic. Trials and Tribble-ations.
Star Trek fan-fic?
Richard Gere hagiography
Oh my.
My husband’s friend of 40+ years and the friend’s wife of 12 or so years drove up from San Diego Wednesday and are staying with us a couple of days.
Mr Splosives, being retired as well as being an idiot, told me they were coming March 25, a day off for me, but no, it was March 23. That fucked with my work week of course.
Today I worked, but worked from home instead of going to Vegas. The visiting couple and my husband spent the day visiting casinos and vineyards in Greater Pahrump. They finally called me at 5 to get me for dinner.
You know how hilarious it is to be the designated driver for three day drinkers? Yeah, that much fun. ?
Now they are all tucked in bed but holy cow it’s been a babysitting exercise for me. But guess what: both of those guys had harrowing health issues last year, so they are getting stupid about living it up now.
My role is to keep them safe and happy and not arrested. ?
You’re a good egg, Charlie Brown.
Good on you Girl!
Your heavenly reward awaits you, ‘Splosives ?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qdkt3I5-FG4 ?
https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2022/03/25/north-philadelphia-shooting-dollar-general-manager-kills-robber-gun-violence/
Doom and gloom first thing eh? Is there any Good news to report?
/this is becoming a depressing place to hang out
No accidents or slowdowns right now along my commute route to work (according to a local TV station’s traffic web page.) Good enough? ?
Good morning, Yu, Sean, GL, HE (if you’re still awake,) and homey!
Kinda shitty out. Boy did it cool off.
Lotsa folks would consider that a happy story.
Maybe not “happy”, but certainly not doom and gloom.
He needed tuition money and didn’t want to go in debt with a student loan?
Just seems to me that getting a job, even if it isn’t fun or convenient, would be a better way to have a better day.
Totally would Jan Carabeo.
suh’ fam
yo whats goody
Not much. Gonna become about 1/3 poorer soon. How’s your wagon wheeling?
Long night at work. Wednesday morning I was moving stuff that weighed around 50 lbs, turned my back and felt something “pop”. Hurts like hell.
This morning I knelt down on the floor, and felt something pop in my knee. Hurts like hell.
Ah, getting old is just such a magical experience.
I’m told that getting old beats the alternative. I’d like a second opinion from someone who has experienced that alternative. Where the hell is Pie?
I’m trying to start a rumor that he got catfished by a “Ukrainian refugee” then shanghaied.
Yup. Doing that sideways ship-balancing act is not much fun either. Happens every day. Don’t ask what happens when I close my eyes and lean my head back. I’ve changed my showering routine. One hand on the cripple bar and the other on the rubbit.
Me too, Festus. I have to sit down on a sliding chair but it’s better’n no shower. I seriously hold onto the handicap bars.
It sucks. We might find out what the fuck is going on eventually. Socialized medicine for the win!
RJ needs to show “Santa Claus versus the Martians” I’ve never seen it but I remember the poster from the rickety movie theater in our small farming town. That’s the same one that screened “Walkabout” for about a hundred pre-teens. “Frogs”! You have to feature that one!
Mornin’, reprobates. Temporarily assigned to a new project, I am completely clueless about the tech used on this one. Should be a fun couple of weeks.
I’m sure there’s a youtube video that explains it.
Maybe. But videos explaining ETL pipelines don’t generate a lot of hits.
See, you just need to write an automated youtube viewer, hook it up to a deep learning algorithm, give it the ability to post youtube videos and *poof* Skynet.
You just need to get yerself an icing annointining vessel, of your own design.
“icing annointining vessel”
Phrasing?
The Muffin Man, Man!
Shouldn’t the person you’re replacing be training you…?
Not replacing anyone, am just an additional resource. We are expected to be able to pick up new stuff with minimal training, reaching out to other team members if necessary. It’s worked out pretty well so far.
JK. I know that drill.
LGBTQ insects in Texas?
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2022/03/24/pink-grasshopper-East-Texas/4211648155192/
Why not? Everything else is gay nowadays.
THEY’RE TURNING THE GRASSHOPPERS GAY!
Wait…I thought we’re doing QUILTBAG now?
“Something as simple as aspirin may help lower the risk of death in hospital patients who are fighting a tough case of COVID-19, a new study found.”
https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2022/03/25/aspirin-COVID-19/7491648144556/
Next up: revocation of medical licenses for recommending off-label use of aspirin.
And the execution of the mental health “experts” that diagnosed DJT based on what they saw/heard on the news.
That was flagrant abuse. They should have lost their licenses.
Judi has seven Grandkids and not one seems to be transitioning. How can this be? I was assured by the media that at least one in two children were secretly a boy/girl.
I think you’re missing at least 41 other genders…
Whoah, I was off…
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/gender-identity-terms
54 as of 3 years ago.
Nope. The parents are not insane. It’s that simple.
It was too foggy out this morning to pay attention if anyone flipped me off on my way in.
They were doing it, anyways.
I hope so. I like to think I’m making a difference in the world. ?
There ya go!