This needs to be painted on the side of a custom van.
I first met Lloyd Kaufman at least ten years ago. My wife picked up a copy of his book All I Need to Know about Filmmaking I Learned from the Toxic Avenger at a convention table and Lloyd just magically appeared. We bought his book, a few movies and he signed our book and hung out with us for about ten more minutes as we perused the convention hall. Later in life I met him again at a number of movie screenings, the latest being a revival of Tromeo and Juliet where he, his wife, me and my friend T. all sat and enjoyed each other’s company post-show for hours. He’s a good man, with more energy than five normal men. He and his partner Michael Herz are responsible for showing the world you could have an alternate film distribution channel besides big budget studios. He’s cultivated film talent and made some great entertainment.
I had been waiting for him to post a movie or two outside of a paywall, I felt that would give him some wider distribution and a new audience. I am happy to say a small amount of his films are now out on Tubi. This includes Toxic Avenger, Tromeo and Juliet and tonight’s film, Class of Nuke ‘Em High. I decided to go with Class of Nuke ‘Em High, assuming that the vast majority of people would have already seen Toxic Avenger at one point in their lives. If not, I did include a link. Tromeo and Juliet is also fantastic and worth a watch if you haven’t seen it, that will be another post.
I really enjoyed Class of Nuke ‘Em High for the totally realistic portrayal of high school in the gritty Eighties. Yes, young Glibs, we really did dress in apocalyptic clothing and go to bikini parties. Absolutely. I personally carried a cow thigh bone everywhere (pocket knives were banned my senior year) and had a giant nose ring.
I keed! But when the students sing the national anthem and the camera pans across the class – I can’t help but wonder if this is what school actually looks like today.
So watch! Or don’t! Everything is voluntary! Next week, another fun surprise. The Aquabats have posted their entire series (sans the new ones on You Tube, sorry CPRM). The Aquabats fit in with the aesthetic of Make Your Own Damn Movie*, because that is exactly what they did, and I will talk about it.
*Lloyd, if you’re out there counting, that’s three movie references and two books! Woo Hoo!
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*hits play*
*Hits tequila*
*hits dat azz*
Careful with that adze, Eugene.
Well, I know what I’m gonna watch tonight. Have I watched that? 1986…fuck I cannot remember, that’s almost like the 70s.
I watched the 2003 iteration of Zatoichi last night.
Not as good as the old ’60s Shintaro Katsu movies, but certainly worth watching. Lots of spurting blood. And dancing.
Been on the list for a long time – Beat Takeshi right? Haven’t seen any of those… 🙁 Not sure I have any of his flicks on BR other than Battle Royale either 🙁 Need some high-def Sonatine…or a MXC box set.
Those are two excellent things.
Watched this one on VHS back in college along with a few other weird ones from the dollar rental section of the independent video store (summer ’99?). The concepts (and concept art) for some of these can’t quite overcome the budget limitations.
These were labors of love (and profit, of course) on a budget of nothing. Looking back at it and rewatching it made me appreciate the cinematography and low budget effects that went into this. It’s amazing what can be done with almost no money if you have the talent.
” (and profit, of course)”
I don’t think Troma ever made much money.
He has made enough to keep going. Yes, it’s shoestring, but it’s also freedom. Freedom to do what he loves. Aquabats next week are also a good example of staying free and doing what you love. Much respect for people who can do that.
Stay Free
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuYzsrYSQx4
True. I think his college buddy from Yale, Oliver Stone, said he was a genius at not making money.
Return to Nuke Em High, Volume 1 is one of my favorite movies.
I will be in San Diego next week. Not sure about exact schedule yet, but planning to hit Half Door Brewing for dinner on Thursday night before I fly back to the East Coast.
Fish give us San Diego folk more advance notice (if possible) if you are interested in a meet up the next time you are in town.
You have a whole week!
Unfortunately probably not again this year, but we’ll see.
“Conan, what are the best things in life?”
“Drugs! Radioactivity! Boobs!“
I’m not totally sold on the radioactivty part.
Spiderman can’t be wrong about this.
Ackshually, that was a radioactive spider, not just plain radiation which could potentially render you sterile and unable to continue the human race.
*Pushes up broken glasses*
That’s what you squares always say.
*cough* The Hulk *cough*
That was gamma radiation.
Ackshually, have you seen any Hulk babies?
*Pushes broken glasses up to forehead*
I don’t think too many of the Marvel mutants had kids. The only one I can think of is Mystique turning into a man to impregnate Destiny.
Gamma radiation isn’t radioactive?
“Ackshually, have you seen any Hulk babies?”
Worse, I saw a mini-Hulk Hispanic Hillary and it was nightmarish, I’m still traumatized by it, thanks Sean.
That has nothing to do with radiation. He was just never able to close the deal.
“Gamma radiation isn’t radioactive?”
Yes, but it’s different.
Truth.
It’s “radioactive” in that it is not a radioactive material. Gamma radiation can be emitted by a radioactive substance, as in a nucleus spewing out some excess subatomic particles.
“mini-Hulk Hispanic Hillary”
Que?
Minute, but don’t say I didn’t warn you… you were warned…
Pequena Hillary Hulk VOSTFR
WTF????
“WTF????”
Exactly.
Goddamn. If you had sent that shit in time, it would have been the post of the week, and I would have been happy.
Pussy
Thank goodness. I thought I was the only one.
No, those work really well for crushing proglodyte skull.
ROFL!
What’s with the Hitler stache at 06:24?
Ridiculous. The actors must have had so much fun on this.
Absolutely, everyone on set loved being in the movie, and loved hamming it up. That’s another great thing about low budget films. Dedication transcended payment sometimes.
Poluterygeist was almost all volunteers.
So cool you got to hang out with Lloyd.
He is very personable, and worth meeting. His wife is really nice too.
I would have been in Poultrygeist. I am in the wrong part of the country to be in Troma films. I would be a decent menacing bad guy.
I had a bit part in my buddy’s independent short. I forget what my line was, but it was recorded in the Union Square subway station in NYC.
No-budget, guerrilla shooting,, the works. It was fun as hell.
I was the main character in my friend’s movie for his college film class. I remember filming with a Super 8 out of the back of his pickup while travelling North on I-35 at 70 mph. Perhaps not the safest but I did a lot of wild things back then.
I also starred in my girlfriend’s high school film “The Good Conductor”, a pun on trains and electricity. pistoffnick dies of electrocution in the end.
Just a drive-by post. Thank you for featuring this film, which I will totally watch someday.
Also, great plug for the DIY movie book.
Tonioooo!
Do you have to go?
Tonioooo!
We miss you so!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-36cDwe7Hmg
I’m Old Tonio, what you doin’ in my waters?
Every drunk Bailys from a shoe?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCx0NeffRfI
Hahaha!
A Peppermint Nightmare!
My first gf looked like Chrissy. Same body, same hair cut, albeit much darker, and not such massive nipples — those things are huge!
She was a real catch for this film.
THAT’S MY FETISH!
*hits play*
So that’s what it takes to get MOAR COMMENTS?
*Takes notes*
Large areola might be Lloyd’s fetish. Seems pretty common in Troma movies.
He even put Lynn Lowery and her big nipples in Sugar Cookies. Which is probably too pornish for our Thursday night movies.
I love Cronenberg’s Shivers (1975) or is that too “good” for or our Thursday night movies?
It’s good. Has to be outside a paywall, where we can see it on something like Tubi or Pluto or Crackle even. The only thing everyone hated was ‘Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter.’
No idea what that has to do with Lynn Lowery or Cronenberg??
Anyway, yes, I have no idea if Shivers is available free anywhere.
Just saying, Shivers would be liked. It’s totally doable. ‘Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter’ was met with apprehension here.
“‘Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter’ was met with apprehension here.”
Sorry, I must have missed that. Sometimes I can’t be here.
Shivers is truly great though.
I watched it first as “They Came from Within”
I’m even more sure this is what I am watching tonight…
She has a nice ass, especially for the 80’s.
That’s even more sure I am watching this tonight…
LOL FUCKING L
The ultimate shit poster.
Elon, if you are listening – hire a Mariachi band to punctuate every sentence you say with loud brassy music during the board meeting. What can they do about it? Nothing. You are welcome.
Aiee Yaeee Yiiii!
My wife asked me yesterday, what do you think Musk is going to do at Twitter? I said first and foremost, fuck with them. Was I wrong?
Not wrong. He is one board member, so he can’t change the whole world. But he also can’t be removed easily, and he can cause all kinds of havoc. Which I condone. Panic and pandemonium!
Actually, the rest of the board could vote to remove him, or at least remove the band, since they still outnumber him.
Their stock price went up 30 fucking percent on the day he became the majority shareholder. Next day he’s on the board. They ain’t removing nothing, though he will practically dare them, which is comedy gold.
They could, and that could trigger him to do a full takeover prior to 2024. Rock, meet hard place. He agreed to not buy more stock in exchange for the board seat, and an option to buy more stock in 2024. Eject him, and all bets are off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YywnlQpSdEc
Suck it Twitter board! Elon is speaking!
Yippe ki yay, motherfucker
Malaise…
*clicks the link, six minutes in*…”Was it something I said?”..The over the top absurdity of this film is a welcome distraction. Danke
Side note: I just fed myself over the course of three days for under $10…
Fuck you, Gwyneth Paltrow. Billions of people across the world pull this off on a daily basis. It ain’t that hard when you set your mind to the task. Nevermind your status in a First World Nation.
“I just fed myself over the course of three days for under $10”
Impressive, given inflation.
Dust! No Calories!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nv7qh_XL_yM
Consider an egg, a couple slices of cheap, off brand whole wheat toast, a large, frozen block of off brand condensed chicken noodle soup (dethaw first, then add water), a handful of dry beans, a handful of dry rice, a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter… Consider the lily… Is my stomach satisfied? Absolutely not. However, billions of souls across the eons have survived for decades on less than that. I’ll happily make due for now. There was a time long ago when my six foot tall, skinny ass was forty pounds lighter. This is a cake walk.
Consider the lily?
Referencing The Life of Brian/and or Jesus.
Also, I boiled the beans and rice before consumption…add a few pennies via my water and gas bill.
Not a religious man but kernels of wisdom abound in the Bible, at least in my personal estimation:
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6%3A25-34&version=ESV
Okay, back to the film. Goodnight, all!
You are welcome!
JFC I hope he makes them reinstate Trump
I just read “Janelle Brady auditioned for the female lead in Tromeo and Juliet (1996) but alas didn’t get the role because she was deemed too old for the part”. Come on, Lloyd!
Yeah. That made me sad. Damn, she is cute!
I think it was more than that though. She started to suffer bad mental problems and drug abuse. This is the sad part of the night – she vanished in 2012.
https://www.lloydkaufman.com/news/2013/01/04/family-of-class-of-nuke-em-high-star-and-playboy-model-offers-10000-00-reward-for-safe-return-of-woman-missing-in-las-vegas/
Damn, you literally meant vanished.
🙁
OT: OMG! KK, RU watching BB??
Speak the King’s English! What does this mean?
BattleBots finals!
So why are you freaking out over Russia watching battlebots?
UR 2 literal 4 me! ?
I didn’t know the City of Ur fielded a battlebots team.
Did the stadium catch on fire? Were the bots allowed to attack the audience?
I dasn’t say…..
It’s Daytonish, just forget about it…
Big Brother?
*blech*
Oh, HELL to the no! ?
I watched several seasons. ?
Gay!
To be honest, me and a gal pal enjoyed dishing on all the idiots. So, yeah.
(Sheepishly raises hand) I love Big Brother in all of its many iterations. The Canadian and Australian versions were particularly enjoyable.
I liked the CBB segment of the Extras finale, and the typical Gervais rant therein.
I been napping (‘VID still got me like)…let’s tawk about it tomorrow!
(I won’t read any more comments if you wanna talk about it w/TOK, et al)
So did either of the test replies make it through?
Yup. Just responded.
😀
I am out for the night, I hope you either enjoyed it now, or will enjoy it later!
Thanks, RJ 🙂
Thx RJ. This is fun.
Heh. haven’t seen this since the eighties. Good choice.
If any whippersnappers want to see what partying and boobs in the eighties was like, watch Night of the Demons, starring the lovely and gracious linnea Quigley.
Everything was fuzzy, but I’m better now.
Nobody other than maybe CPRM cares, but after a long hiatus, the first 12 seconds are again my ringtone. Now I need to get this back as my text notification sound.
This has been mine for a spell. Boy did it piss of the ex, when she first heard it. https://youtu.be/h_LnyuSzG3o
If First were a color, it would be gold.
If First were a color, at least we could see it…unlike what you keep promising us.
You are like the Jews who turned on Moses in the desert. I am leading the Glibertariat into a utopia. Alls you have to do is not screw it up.
Well, you won me over just by not typing “an utopia”. As long as you don’t type “whinging”, I think you have yourself a new disciple.
Well, I guess they have been promising the Rapture a lot longer than our Firster has been promising the Firstening
If that First waits any longer to get here, it’s gonna be second.
Hmm, the Lastening?
Nature’s first hue is gold.
The new Salt Lake City airport has been optimized for getting planes in and out not for getting passengers from one plane to another.
And I have seen more people walking around the airports with no mask or only half wearing them this trip than my last trip.
That’s cuz they know Xenu’s a coming.
This is my favorite Troma movie.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YJDiDzkTLqo
It’s ridiculous and funny.
I’m so confused. Why was Italian opera playing after he transformed?
When Hollywood gets it right
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1-KbmIagFw
Holy Bejeebus, that may be the worst acting I have ever seen. I enjoyed it. Crissy does have a nice bod and really nice tits, but the aerolas are too big but just about right.
Mashup.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aJwCJfbA3Mk
So good.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yNPECkESPbU
2004. *sigh*
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FMbl1ntpIXQ
Yes.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/philadelphia-may-issue-indoor-mask-mandate-again-if-covid-cases-continue-to-rise-announcement-expected-monday/ar-AAVYMu1
Lol, get fucked.
wut
STOP TESTING HEALTHY PEOPLE YOU MORANS
Morning, Glibs.
Managed to drag myself into work, despite wanting to call in today. I’m convinced these decade old documents don’t exist.
Call in tired, I hope? I mean, I’m sorry you’re tired, but I hope you’re not feeling sick. ?
I got Assassins Creed 4 Black Flag working, and it threw off my sleep schedule.
Good morning, Sean, rhy, U, & lurkers! It’s minor league baseball opening day here in Dayton… and the weather sucks. We may get graupel! ? (Our first tickets are for tomorrow afternoon. We may only go long enough to eat some overpriced ballpark food.)
Mornin’ GT, U, and the rest of you reprobates. Graupel? A weatherperson who uses that word is trying to impress people. One who is trying to communicate might say ” snow pellets”.
Speaking of weather, we got an alert from the town at about 11 PM last night about imminent flooding. Looked outside and sure enough the water was about 15 feet from my back door. Fortunately that was as far as it got.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Aae_RHRptRg
Yikes! That’s much too close for comfort! ? I gather you’re right by a creek or river?
Can’t decide between two jokes…
“He lives on top of a mountain.”
“Yes, sixteen feet away.”
Small crick at the rear of my property. Amazing how a little thing like that which is dry half the time can turn into a raging torrent in a matter of hours.
You’ve met my wife?
Not lately…
We got some severe indoor flooding last night. It’s been raining for 2 days here and the drains backed up through the in the utility closet. I was up all night with the towels and shop-vac removing an inch of effluvia from the downstairs. The plumbers should be here in a couple hours to ream the cleanout in landlord’s garage. Then I get to steam clean the hard floors and rent a carpet steamer from the Rug Doctor for the 4 or 5 square foot section of carpet that got soaked. This is the third time in 9 years that this has happened. A $500,000.00 house and it’s built like a mobile home.
Don’t you still live in NYC? I’d expect half a million there to only net the equivalent of a mobile home.
Ouch! Alfred would be paradise.
Rip up the carpet. And the sub floor.
Stand amazed at the quality construction by Beechwood Homes – https://youtu.be/4Yg2POnOgkU
This is not our model, but close; there are 5 or 6 floor plans to choose from.
Now I know what’s behind the green door!
Why are you still doing those chores? Honest question. If Judi treated me that way it would be the last time that we ever spoke to one another.
Honestly? My kids. I don’t want my kids ankle deep in sewage. If it weren’t for them I would be doing fuck-all (but then if weren’t them I would even be here at all.) Sigh…
I don’t care for the baseball, but the New Orleans Zephyrs games were SO much fun. The home games could be seen quite well from one of the levees and there were always folk selling beer, frozen daquiris, and food setup to serve us cheapskates. Then the team moved to Wichita. NOLA finally got a new team – The New Orleans Baby-Cakes https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Orleans_Baby_Cakes
Everything about N.O. seems like a frat party prank gone wrong.
It all started with “Lets build a city in a swamp below sea level” and spiralled out of control from there.
Nah… the French settled on the high ground (Da Quarter is about 13-20 feet above sea level and was untouched by Katrina).. The parts of the city below sea level (New Orleans East) were only reclaimed from the swamp in the 1940s/50s.
That does not even contradict my point. Someone decided to build a city in a swamp below sea level. Just because there was a smaller city on high ground next to it doesn’t make it any less of a silly idea.
Nobody has ever accused Yats of being smart. I think the last brilliant man down there was PGT Beauregard, hero of the War of Northern Aggression, and creator of NOLA’s sewage and water system. The city has been disregarding the system ever since (pump maintenance, infrastructure upgrades, etc.) NOLA had clean, potable water in the 19th century. Today the city routinely finds itself under boil orders because clean, potable water stymies the bureaucrats of the 21st.
“But… water comes from the faucet.”
/21st century administrator.
This led me down a rabbit hike which wound up here:
https://neutralgroundnews.com/farting-nutrias-convince-jefferson-parish-to-endorse-green-new-deal/
““It’s a win-win,” another source noted. “We can now shoot and poison the windy little buggers all we want without folks complaining, and the Parish Council can say they are doing something about climate change.” The source also noted, for some reason, that there is an election coming up.
The council will make one exception. New Orleans Baby Cakes mascot Boudreaux D. Nutria along with wife Clotile and children Beauregard, Cherie, Claudette, Jean-Pierre, Noelle, and Thibodaux, who will not be moving with the team to Omaha when it relocates next year, will be exempt from elimination.”
I love the internet.
You need to do “Class of 1984” and “Return of the Living Dead”. That’s where the zombie term “Braaaaiiiins” came from.
“I know you’re up there Gina! I can smell your Braaaaiiiin!”
Can confirm.
*reminisces about high school bikini parties*
? Boys in bikinis / Girls in surfboards
Not the farm girls I knew. They dressed like their mothers or fathers, depending on if they were working inside or outside. Still, I wouldn’t have wanted it any different. Product of our environment…
Oklahoma is kind of lethally hot in the summer. Swimming pools are a major thing there.
suh’ fam
yo whats goody
I’m actually so shit-faced that food and sleep seem like a good idea. Have fun, Glibbies, I’m away!
Love you Festus, enjoy your slumberland.
Damn tinkerbelle….didnt give me time to catch up. Im only on Tall Cans® numero dos