139 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    Three is the magic number?

    • Animal

      One is the loneliest number.

      • pistoffnick

        Two can be as bad as one*

        *from personal experience

      • MikeS

        It’s the loneliest number since the number one.

  2. Count Potato

    “The news comes as Better Call Saul prepares for the return of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman in its final season.”

    It just started so I haven’t seen it yet. Good that AMC is giving him another show.

    • Mojeaux

      I stopped watching Breaking Bad when Jesse didn’t do what Walter told him to buy a certain kind of plastic tub and instead put the body and acid in a cast iron tub. Teh st00pid was too much. My son watched the whole series and I told him the derp was too strong and he said, “That’s the point.” Yeah. I KNOW. That’s why I didn’t like it.

      • Count Potato

        I watched the whole thing, but don’t remember that.

      • Nephilium

        Early in the first season IIRC.

      • Mojeaux

        I think it was S1E3.

      • Compelled Speechless

        That’s so strange. The pitch black humor of that scene is exactly the point where I knew the show was made just for me. Still my favorite series of all time.

      • Tonio

        A beautiful instantiation of the mad scientist with the beloved, but inept, assistant trope.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Wait…its not original? Next you’ll tell me Star Wars is a hero’s journey troupe.

      • Tonio

        And Shakespeare stole all his material, too.

      • Fatty Bolger

        I really liked the show at first, but it started to get depressing for me, so I put it aside for a while with the intention of picking it up again later. But I never did.

      • Mojeaux

        So, I watched the first 4 seasons of Boardwalk Empire. (I was spoiled as to season 5 so I didn’t bother.)

        Thing was, I enjoyed it IMMENSELY, but it still made me feel oogy and pissy after I watched. Now, at the same time I was writing my Prohibition novel and I was feeling very inadequate as a writer as compared to the show, so I’m tempted to allow as how I was pissy because I didn’t know what the hell I was doing with my own work. But in the end, it didn’t make me feel good. I knew that was where Breaking Bad was taking me so I bailed at the first sign of derp.

      • Fatty Bolger

        I think my wife and I stopped watching it at about the same point. It was never quite the same after Jimmy, anyway.

      • Compelled Speechless

        You really should. I’m not going to lie, it gets incredibly dark. The last season in particular has some things that happen seemingly just to break the audience. But, there hasn’t been a show since that has come even remotely close to getting me as emotionally involved with the characters and that manages to constantly surprise at every turn. Every bit of it is earned too. They don’t rely on the cheap deus ex machinas or things that happen for mere plot convenience. Everything is setup, sometimes several seasons in advance. Things that happen early on that you forget about end up coming back around and having massive consequences. There are very few shows that deserve multiple viewings and hold up, but this is absolutely one of them.

      • Fatty Bolger

        I probably will someday. But it’s one of those shows I have to psych myself up to watch.

      • Raven Nation

        I had a similar reaction to Ozark. Got through the first couple of seasons. Then it was a combination of being depressed and not one redeeming character. Good show, but I couldn’t handle it.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I like Ozark, but Wendy makes it difficult to watch. Her character should have been killed off after season 1.

      • Compelled Speechless

        I tried the first couple of seasons of Ozark. It never felt like anything more than a Breaking Bad wanna be to me. Less interesting in terms of character, plots and presentation. I don’t remember any humor in it, which was one of BB’s saving graces – at any moment they could turn a horrific circumstance into a laugh-out-loud moment. Watch Walt’s reaction immediately after he realizes he shot Mike for example. And BB’s use of montages were always incredible between their music selections and innovative filming techniques.

        Ozark just seems dour, colorless and relatively flavor less. And CPA is correct about Wendy. They actually tried to make her sympathetic in season 1 by giving her a monologue just talking about how inspirational Obama was. For like 5 minutes. Virtue signaling as character development. Just insufferable and I usually love Laura Linney as an actress.

      • rhywun

        Same here. I think it was the last season that I missed all of.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I know, who doesn’t know how to dissolve a body?

      • Mojeaux

        I know, who doesn’t know how to do what the CHEMISTRY TEACHER told you to do?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        A drug user who barely graduated high school would be my guess.

      • Mojeaux

        The cringe was strong with that one.

      • Compelled Speechless

        This is another plot point that has massive payoff later in the series. Jesse has the most sympathetic arc in the show. He seems so hopelessly dumb at first to everyone including his own family. He goes from that guy to being arguably the most sensible and intelligent character. Watching him struggle with the moral weight of everything he and Walt do while Walt ends up being incapable of self-reflection or having a conscience is some of the most griping character work I can think of in any fiction. Aaron Paul is frankly incredible in that show and somehow he’s still only the second best character.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Also if I remember correctly, Jesse couldn’t find a plastic tub big enough which is why he tried to dissolve it in a regular bathtub.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes. That’s why you buy 3 tubs and cut the body up first.

      • pistoffnick

        Ma’am, you are spooking me out!

      • Mojeaux

        Heh.

  3. Count Potato

    “Meanwhile, the Disney corporation had become as comically villainous as Maleficent; it seemed to absorb everything in its wake, pulling dozens upon dozens of A-list actors into its rapidly growing Marvel movie slate.”

    So they bought Marvel and Star Wars?

  4. DEG

    And if you think that it’s just older art that’s all about that pipeweed

    Pipeweed is tobacco.

    (and if that feels a little BDSM-y, well, there’s a whole other article about Faerun’s horny history).

    Apropos.

  5. Shpip

    NASA’s Perseverance rover captured a lucky cosmic event on April 2: Mars’ distinctly potato-shaped moon Phobos eclipsing the Sun.

    That is deimos impressive thing I’ll see all day.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Careful, swissy is going to martian and give us a narrowed stargaze

    • Ted S.

      Nitpick: Is it an eclipse or a transit?

      • Ownbestenemy

        It’s whatever it wants to be if decides it is for the day /modern astronomy

    • Timeloose

      JFC by looking at the still photo I though Monoliths were eating the sun.

      • Ownbestenemy

        That’s no moon!

      • R.J.

        It’s…
        URANUS!

        HAHAHHAHAHA!

        Yes. I am five.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I believe we have all shown our maturity levels here to be…wanting.

      • SDF-7

        Assume a oblate spheroid cow in orbit around Mars?

      • Tonio

        Swiss has a Phobos about puns.

    • Animal

      One of the greatest puns in sci-fi comes at the end of Jerome Bixby’s short story The Holes Around Mars.

      • SDF-7

        I still don’t think anyone has topped “Because Splend is a many lovered thing.”

      • Fatty Bolger

        Not even the pun at the end of A Boy and His Dog? (The movie, not the short story.)

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Forcing companies to purchase goods at higher prices isn’t a path to a more prosperous society, which is why economists overwhelmingly disagree with the notion that protectionist policies generally and Buy American policies specifically have a positive economic impact.

    But- Muh UNIONS!

    • SDF-7

      That may well be true — but what makes a segment of society (globalists) prosperous and what keeps a nation able to fight a war if needed (i.e. not having all production off-shored) are also considerations. I’m all for free but fair trade — but at the same time, providing incentives to keep certain industries domestic makes sense to me. Granted, some of that is not smothering the domestic industries under all the red tape — as long as that also doesn’t equal “Dump all the mercury in the local stream… it’ll be fine!” or use slave labor or whatnot, obviously.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Granted, some of that is not smothering the domestic industries under all the red tape — as long as that also doesn’t equal “Dump all the mercury in the local stream… it’ll be fine!” or use slave labor or whatnot, obviously.

        This. Let’s get back to a halfway sane regulatory environment and see what happens to trade balance and the like.

    • R C Dean

      Forcing companies to purchase goods at higher prices isn’t a path to a more prosperous society

      Being dependent on foreign sources at the other end of a long logistics (and potentially strategically fragile) chain also has its downsides. As with most things in life, absolute answers are rarely entirely correct.

      • tarran

        The people who want to buy foreign made steel because they feel the price is worth the quality and reliability of delivery of the foreign maker should be free to make that purchase.

        The people who want to buy locally made steel because they feel the price is worth the quality and reliability of delivery of the foreign maker should be free to make that purchase.

        Neither group is preventing the other from getting what it wants.

        When the government says, “Buy American or we put you in a cage!”, OTOH, both groups are harmed.

        The only guys who benefit are local producers of steel.

      • cavalier973

        And local producers can lower quality and increase price.

        Competition is what makes markets work.

        The current problem isn’t that we are “shipping all the jobs overseas because cheap labor”, but rather a combo of FedGov regulations for domestic production and subsidies to move production overseas, which artificially lowers the foreign price for goods and services relative to domestic prices.

    • Tonio

      Go Granny, go Granny, go Granny go!

  7. Count Potato

    “‘I feel like I’m 15 again!’ Devotees of ‘testicle tanning’ treatment touted in Tucker Carlson’s ‘masculinity’ doc hail its many benefits – insisting it boosts testosterone, ‘increases sexual desire and libido’ AND improves their looks”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-10732795/Devotees-testicle-tanning-treatment-promoted-Tucker-Carlson-speak-benefits-therapy.html

    What? So Tucker Carlson is the now the male Gwyneth Paltrow?

    • Animal

      Carlson’s bit was satire, wasn’t it?

      • Ownbestenemy

        I thought that too…wasn’t he doing the bit with Kid Rock?

        “I’m starting a punk rock band and it’s called Testicle Tanning, that’s the end of it.” – Kid Rock

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        I think so. I hope so.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Either Tucker or Trump should make a statement touting the health benefits of eating vegetables.

      That way the crazies would stop eating them, because everyone knows those two lie about everything.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *hides Ronco Testicle Tanbox*

      • Compelled Speechless

        I’m stealing Testicle Tanbox for a band name.

      • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

        “Band name.” Sure thing there bro. Don’t worry, we won’t tell anyone.

      • Count Potato

        A fine addition to your Pocket Fisherman.

      • Gustave Lytton

        “Set it and forget it!”

      • rhywun

        “You’re gonna love my nuts!”

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Comfortable urban people artificially inducing emotion in their hollow souls for something they dare not raise even a finger to resolve.

      This applies more generally than just the virtue signaling greenies, but it applies very well there. When you spend 15 minutes touting your supposed beliefs and priorities and then proceed to spend the next 15 hours of your day living and doing exactly the same as the next door neighbor you just decried, either you don’t believe it or you don’t have the courage of your convictions.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Exactly

    • Compelled Speechless

      Jesus, I had no idea. Why has no one ever brought this up before? I’ll bet if we just institute totalitarian socialism and everyone does whatever the government says we’ll be able to pull out of this in no time. That is where they’re going with this, right?

  8. The Late P Brooks

    I stopped watching Breaking Bad when Jesse didn’t do what Walter told him to buy a certain kind of plastic tub and instead put the body and acid in a cast iron tub. Teh st00pid was too much. My son watched the whole series and I told him the derp was too strong and he said, “That’s the point.” Yeah. I KNOW. That’s why I didn’t like it.

    I don ‘t know if I even watched a single episode from beginning to end.

    “These people are fucking stupid and I couldn’t care less what happens to any of them.”

    • R C Dean

      I bailed after Season 3, I think. I was watching and realized “Every single character is a horrible human being”, and never picked up Season 4.

      They filmed parts of it (I can’t remember which house) a couple of blocks from my aunt’s house in ABQ. So that’s nice.

    • Compelled Speechless

      I think you’re missing that their ineptness is the point. The first couple of seasons are about Walt and Jesse having to learn the ropes of being criminals. Vince Gilligan has described the show as taking Mr. Chips and turning him into Scarface. His character arc from inept clownish buffoon (his Malcolm in the Middle comedy chops shine early on) to arrogant badass underworld kingpin is literally what the show is about.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        These Breaking Bad takes are one step away from “I don’t even own a TV.”

      • DEG

        I don’t own a TV.

      • Compelled Speechless

        I’m definitely open to recommendations.

      • kinnath

        Buy low; sell high

      • Compelled Speechless

        Is that on Netflix or just about their stock? I think the high may have already passed. Prepare to witness the burst of the streaming bubble. Fingers crossed that it is accompanied to by a woke purge in Hollywood.

      • Animal

        Never go in against a Sicillian when death is on the line.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Not you, the haters.

  9. R.J.

    LEGO Star Wars. Man, I loved it. The magic was totally lost as
    More and more Lego games were made. The worst ever, in my opinion, was The Incredibles.
    In short, that new Star Wars game better pony up a demo version. Otherwise Lego can get lost.

    • Ownbestenemy

      That first SW Lego was great.

    • R.J.

      Also belated happy birthday!

    • rhywun

      I wouldn’t mind a fresher version of the original and without the six movies that are trash.

      I have The Incredibles one and one of the zillion Harry Potter ones somewhere and yeah Star Wars was more fun.

  10. Ownbestenemy

    My brother met Bryan Cranston in a bar in Europe somewhere…I think Germany. Us not being huge pop culture people, he had no idea who he was. He said they sat and talked for about an hour before Brian asked why haven’t you brought up who I am?

    • Count Potato

      “Say my name!”

    • grrizzly

      Electric tanks will have to be charged overnight!

      • Ownbestenemy

        Would love to see the mid-flight recharging

      • SDF-7

        Two words: Nuclear Bolo. That friendly enough for ya, Brandon?

      • R.J.

        The lithium battery shortage means war is postponed indefinitely. Hooray!

    • Sean

      Awesome.

    • Fourscore

      Fight local and only during daylight hours

      All wars will be fought within 15 miles of a predetermined line that is acceptable to both parties.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      It warms the cockles of my heart knowing that cities will be rubblized in an environmentally friendly way.

      • Tonio

        “You have been killed by a missile strike. Report to the disintegration booth within 24 hours.”

  11. Fatty Bolger

    Got the Redactle in 27 tries.

    • MikeS

      I played it for a few minutes and then pointed at both of our avatars and closed out.

      • Fatty Bolger

        lmao

  12. The Late P Brooks

    We interrupt this global economy…

    Nearly 400 million people across 45 cities in China are under full or partial lockdown as part of China’s strict zero-Covid policy. Together they represent 40%, or $7.2 trillion, of annual gross domestic product for the world’s second-largest economy, according to data from Nomura Holdings.

    Analysts are ringing warning bells, but say investors aren’t properly assessing how serious the global economic fallout might be from these prolonged isolation orders.

    ——-

    “The impact on China is major and the knock on effects on the global economy are quite significant,” said Michael Hirson, Eurasia Group’s practice head for China and Northeast Asia. “I think we’re in for more volatility and economic and social disruption for at least the next six months.”
    The prolonged disruptions to Chinese manufacturing and shipping could help accelerate a key Biden administration initiative aimed at reducing US dependence on Chinese products and supply chains.
    But the task comes with serious immediate economic repercussions.
    In a report released last week, the World Trade Organization warned of a worst-case scenario involving decoupling global economies, spurred on by Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, could reduce long-term global GDP by 5%.

    Globalized panic. It’s what’s for dinner.

    • R C Dean

      Can’t say I’m sorry to see the ChiComs blowing their own brains out like this. Shame its going to splash on us, big time, though.

      Can’t imagine how they will stage an invasion of Taiwan out of locked-down ports, which is a plus.

    • rhywun

      China is asshoe.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    In a speech to the Atlantic Council last week, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen said the US is watching China’s political and economic connections to Russia closely. “Going forward, it will be increasingly difficult to separate economic issues from broader considerations of national interest, including national security,” she said.

    While she said she hopes a “bipolar split” between China and the US can be avoided, “the world’s attitude towards China and its willingness to embrace further economic integration may well be affected by China’s reaction to our call for resolute action on Russia.”

    You can’t have a genuine World War without a Pacific Theater.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      the Atlantic Council

      Every time I see that group, alarm bells go off in my head. They are a leftist think tank whose ideas get a lot of traction in progressive circles. Wanna see what’s coming next? Read what the Atlantic Council is up to.

    • R C Dean

      WWI managed, except for some pretty peripheral/incidental naval engagements.

      • Count Potato

        But you can’t have a world war without Germany. So they need to be the first country to develop fusion or AGI, because right now they seem kind of lame.

    • Fatty Bolger

      So we’re telling China they’re either with us or against us in our little proxy war with Russia? Fucking brilliant. What could possibly go wrong.

      • rhywun

        Literally anything to take down Putin Man Bad.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    A beautiful instantiation of the mad scientist with the beloved, but inept, assistant trope.

    “What hump?”

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Help me with the bags.

      • tarran

        I’ll take the blonde.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        I was talking about the luggage

      • Compelled Speechless

        So the one in the turban is still up for grabs?

    • Animal

      Friday Micturition League?

  15. Ownbestenemy

    I have a technician that just…baffles me. Sharp kid. He was out troubleshooting the weather radar and when he started to bring it back up, he got some fatal errors. A data-pack (really just a component of the servo for the antenna) most likely failed. He knew what failed, knew it needed to be replaced but still called me for affirmation to replace it. Yes. Replace it. I know you have been there all day. Call your relief back at the shop and have them come out there too.

  16. slumbrew

    Straight Man is one of my favorite books of all time.

    I hope they don’t screw that up.

    • Ted S.

      They’re going to make the main character gay.

  17. Count Potato

    “Police are aware of this video circulating reportedly showing the POV of the ‘active shooter’ incident filmed by the suspect showing themselves shooting indiscriminately.”

    https://twitter.com/shanermurph/status/1517614528753774593

    No idea if that’s real, but it sure is indiscriminate.

  18. The Hyperbole

    DAILY QUORDLE ROUNDUP™©®
    (The Weekly Quordle Roundup Edition)
    #88
    Champ(s)
    Not Adahn 18
    SDF-7 18

    l0b0t 19
    Bobarian LMD 20
    The Hyperbole 20
    Grumbletarian 22
    kinnath 22
    MikeS 22
    Rat on a train 22
    Sean 22
    Ghostpatzer 23
    nePenguin 23
    Ted S. 23
    whiz 23
    Dr, Fronkensteen 24
    Tundra 24

    Chump(s)
    db 26
    grrizzly 26
    one true athena 26

    19 players, a solid 22.26315789 average, no failures. Not a bad day. For the week we had 32 different players and 93 total entries. 13 players posted scores everyday, of those l0b0t had the best average with an impressive 17.85714286, helped no doubt by his low of the week 13. It should be noted that The Hyperbole ended the week with a nice round 22 average without ever actually posting a 22 , speaking of which Tundra was the only double chump of the week. Still down on daily entries since Swiss made his infamous and ill-advised site-rifting twitter bitch post, but I have faith that we can get past that and return to out previous glory, that is as long as you people stop trying to make Waffle happen, Waffle ain’t going to happen, give it up already.

    • rhywun

      Waffle ain’t going to happen, give it up already

      lol

      #Worldle #91 3/6 (100%)
      ????⬜↙️
      ????⬜➡️
      ??????
      https://worldle.teuteuf.fr

      meh

    • Sean

      I’m not giving up on waffle.

    • The Hyperbole

      Oh In forgot here is the raw data if any want to take a deeper dive into the numbers and I have no idea why one wouldn’t.

    • Count Potato

      Fuck. Down almost 3%.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    You’re not gonna believe this

    Since the U.S. imposed sanctions in March, American refineries have stopped welcoming tanker ships laden with Russian oil. But Russian crude exports to other parts of the world have been increasing.

    ——-

    Much of this oil trade is facilitated by a highly efficient and sometimes controversial group of middlemen: oil trading firms. Oil traders act as global matchmakers between the countries and companies that pump oil and the refineries that process crude into gasoline and other fuels.

    “We’re merchants,” says Saad Rahim, chief economist of Trafigura, a commodity trading firm that handles about 7 million barrels of oil and products a day. “In a sense, it’s the oldest business in the world.”

    Trafigura is one of a handful of companies in Switzerland that handles about a quarter of the world’s oil each day. For decades, these firms have sourced much of their oil from Russia. About 80% of Russian commodities are traded in Switzerland, according to a 2021 report from the Swiss Embassy in Moscow. Some oil traders also have stakes in Russia’s state oil company and its assets, including in a megaproject in an environmentally fragile part of the Russian Arctic.

    In the weeks following Moscow’s invasion of Ukraine, many trading firms have said they are reviewing their holdings in Russia. Yet traders continue to facilitate the flow of Russian oil and, last month, even increased their Russian oil trading activity, says Oliver Classen, spokesperson for Public Eye, a commodity trading watchdog group in Switzerland.

    Valuable commodities will always find a market.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    But for now, the traders’ continued loadings have big implications for Russia’s ability to wage war in Ukraine, says Alexandra Gillies, an adviser at the Natural Resource Governance Institute, an organization focused on extractive industries.

    “In this situation,” Gillies says, “they’re offering a financial lifeline to Vladimir Putin and his government.”

    How many divisions does the Natural Resource Governance Institute have?

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Gillies, of the Natural Resource Governance Institute, says leaving the oil traders to make their own decisions about pulling out of Russia is a mistake. “Commodity traders for years have shown a willingness to do business with almost everybody,” Gillies says. “And so it’s not an ideal situation to have these commodity trading companies making those policy decisions about whether they should be continuing to buy Russian oil or not.”

    “These are some of the most economically important transactions to the Russian state right now,” she adds, “so any steps to make those transactions more difficult, I think, is really important.”

    And this is why capitalism must be abolished. So sanctimonious parasites can preen for the press.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Sure. Break the oil trading system fully. That’ll be great.