About The Author

Riven

Riven

[riv-uhn] noun 1. a gaming, lifting, shooting, intoxicated, ravenous, and happily-taken nerd. 2. often aims to misbehave. 3. and though she be but little, she is fierce.* And rumor has it that she (and her husband) are also delightful dinner companions. You didn't hear it from me, though.

262 Comments

  1. robc

    The NFL draft isn’t socialism (it hasn’t nothing to do with the state owning the means of production) but it is a cartel.

    • TARDis

      True, but is protected by the state.

      • robc

        Yeah, it is the exact kind of thing that would but shut down in an instant in any other industry.

      • The Last American Hero

        Why would the state care whether a firm lets its worst performing office have the first pick of the new hires ?

      • The Hyperbole

        Because the NFL isn’t a ‘firm’ it is the entirety of the Football industry*

        *I don’t believe this but I assume that that is the argument.

    • rhywun

      In Euroball the teams actually do compete with each other. You don’t get rewarded for sucking, you get sent to the minors.

      For that reason I’ve always found something distasteful about American-style drafts.

  2. The Other Kevin

    TPTB, I just submitted a post and I found a typo. Can I edit somehow?

    • Swiss Servator

      You should be able to. I can also go fix it.

    • The Other Kevin

      Got it, the Save button is gone but clicking Submit again will save it.

      • Chafed

        I’m impressed you enacted your own labor.

  3. Tres Cool

    whaddup doh’

    • MikeS

      Done with day job. Thankfully my nights/weekends boss lets me drink day drink while working occasionally.

  4. UnCivilServant

    “Is the NFL Draft Socialism?”

    No, it’s more like a price control mechanism to prevent an auction on a small number of key talent.

      • UnCivilServant

        Clearly the answer is to end all handouts to migrants in europe and ship any that are there now back to their place of origin.

        That will remove the incentive to travel through lybia and deprive those markets of their supply.

  5. Sean

    Yeah…I’m gonna need a Beeker.

    • l0b0t

      The blind pack minifigures have been a huge profit maker for LEGO and that has allowed the company to really get creative with the different series. They’ve had series from The Simpsons, Batman, Disney, and their own creations. When they came out, their MSRP was $2.50, now it’s $4.99, but older figures go for a pretty penny on the collector’s market.

    • MikeS

      I was thinking Statler and Waldorf and look pretty cool on top of my book shelf.

      • Swiss Servator

        Right on my work desk…

      • SDF-7

        “Work? We thought this was the mirror you practiced narrowing your gaze in! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

        (That’s meant to be read in their normal heckling voices if it wasn’t clear.. 😉 )

  6. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    Chris Pratt – would x 1 million

    • Tres Cool

      WTF is wrong with you ?

      Wait, I thought you meant Spencer Pratt.

      • TARDis

        WTF is in his hands?

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Crystals (yes, I watched Laguna Beach)

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        (and The Hills)

      • TARDis

        Okay, good. For a second I thought he had a really wrinkled dildo.

      • rhywun

        I’m trying to remember why I know who he is. Maybe Howard Stern made fun of that show?

        Oh, and shame on you for watching that show.

      • Tres Cool

        Shame on you for admitting to listening to Stern.
        Go stand in the corner.

      • Bobarian LMD

        The Soup (Joel McHale) treated that show like STEVE SMITH in a campground.

      • rhywun

        Oh shit, yeah it could have been The Soup, now that I think about it.

    • rhywun

      Which one – dad-bod version or superhero version?

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Yes

      • rhywun

        I like the cut of your jib.

  7. Tundra

    Riven!

    Nice to see you!

    If anyone buys a Muppet set and doesn’t want Beaker, I’ll buy it off you.

      • Tundra

        My spirit animal.

      • TARDis

        It’s how I feel at the beginning of every work week.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        That’s the opposite of a narrow gaze.

      • Swiss Servator

        What would you do in that case…? *Beakers Gaze*?

      • SDF-7

        “Mi mo mi mi mi mo!”

        Let them figure out what the hell you mean by it…

    • Sensei

      Gotta love the Beaker!

    • db

      Beeker is the best

  8. Nephilium

    Well, you just made the girlfriend freak out, and I know the house is going to be covered in Lego mini-figs now.

    • Tundra

      Man, did you outkick your coverage. Half the dudes here are green with envy.

      • Nephilium

        She just wants the Miss Piggy and the ANIMAL ones. They’re $5/blind bag so it’s not like it’s busting the bank to try for them.

      • Animal

        She just wants the Miss Piggy and the ANIMAL ones.

        Wait, what?

      • R.J.

        It comes with an overturned canoe.

      • MikeS

        I’ll cover the cost of a Statler and Waldorf set.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    The NFL Draft is not socialism. It’s capitalism on steroids.

    Managed competition is capitalism on steroids.

    It just never ends.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    To paraphrase Adam Smith, it’s not from the benevolence of the superior football teams that they let the bad teams get the top picks, but from their regard to their own interest.

    He also had something to say about conspiracies in restraint of trade.

  11. DEG

    Taken as a group, what stands out about these LEGO Muppets minifigures is how visually distinct they are from one another–this chaotic, motley crew of oddballs and weirdos. And there’s still room to grow the lineup and make it even more varied! What about a minifigure of Uncle Deadly? Or Sam Eagle? Or Scooter? One hopes that if this first series is successful, we might get a second.

    Ooooo nice

  12. Count Potato

    “Data points like students’ first and last names, email addresses, and the fact that they applied for aid were all sent back to the company, according to code that the Markup posted for anyone to peruse.”

    WTF??

    • rhywun

      I assume a reputable ad-blocker blocks that shit.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I work with all sorts of State and Fed educational groups. The IT staffs are pretty much front to back worthless (I hate to admit it, but Wisconsin has a small group of fairly bright guys). But I can assure you that you will never find an IT staff as diverse as one working for a state Dept Of Ed!

      I’ve been to several conferences and you can tell the govt workers from the vendors pretty easily. The vendors are all white guys who are busy coding something in the back row during a presentation. The govt workers are a rainbow of wonderful people who are busy complaining that there is no Easy button and even when there is one, that it doesn’t come pre-pressed for them. (those are the smart ones. there will also be a good portion of them who think the Easy button is a plate that they can use to hold the free food they are wolfing down.)

    • Nephilium

      The Interrupters have a new album coming out in August, they’ve released on of the tracks: In the Mirror.

      I like it, and I’m looking forward to seeing them live finally.

    • Peter Lorre, contemplating a Crime

      Thank You Warty!

    • MikeS

      Danke!

  13. DEG

    Some updates from Reopen NH on yesterday’s NH State Senate session:


    HB 1131, school mask mandate ban, passed!
    HB 1431, establishing a parental bill of rights passed.
    HB 1466, relative to off label prescriptions passed.
    HB 275, SOE reform passed.
    HB 1606, opt in registry bill, was special ordered to next week. Weird.
    HB 1099, prohibiting the department of health and human services from requiring vaccine passports for services special ordered to end of the day.

    My commentary/filling in details:

    I think HB 1131 goes back to the House because the Senate modified the bill. I heard, but have not confirmed, that the Senate modification is to remove a provision which makes a teacher liable if the teacher, in defiance of this law, requires a kid to wear a mask. Note: If my memory is correct, the original version of the bill applied to both public and private schools. I think it was updated in the House, before going over to the Senate, to apply only to public schools.

    HB 1466 is one of the bills related to making it easier for people to get drugs like ivermectin. I don’t know much more about it.

    HB 275 goes to the governor. If this passes (either the governor signs or the legislature overturns his veto) the governor may only renew a state of emergency three times. In order to renew a state of emergency after that, the legislature must meet and vote to renew the emergency. If not renewed, the state of emergency terminates. If the governor declares a state of emergency, it lasts not more than 21 days until it needs to be renewed. The governor’s renewals may not be for more than 21 days. If the legislature declares a state of emergency it lasts not more than 90 days until it needs to be renewed. I don’t remember if legislative renewals of a state of emergency can be for longer than 21 days. Also, the legislature may terminate a state of emergency or any of emergency order from the governor by majority vote of both House and Senate at any time.

    The registry referred to by HB 1606 is the vaccine registry. Currently, you may opt-out of the vaccine registry though NH DHHS makes that difficult. Note that the governor, through an emergency order during the Lil Rona Panic, removed the opt-out provision for the Lil Rona vaccines. He claimed the CDC required such a thing in order for the state to receive Lil Rona vaccines. Some legislators I know did some digging, and this is not true.

    I don’t know more about HB 1431 or HB 1099

    • TARDis

      It’s looks like your state is moving in the right direction.

      But then I read:
      HB 1431, establishing a parental bill of rights passed.

      Rights? They are what a court says they are.

      • DEG

        I haven’t read that bill and don’t know much of anything about it.

        But, I expect you will be correct and the courts will whittle it down to nothing.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Meanwhile, down on the paternalist plantation

    Menthol cigarettes have been historically heavily marketed toward Black Americans. And that’s had a strong enough impact that when the Food and Drug Administration proposed a ban on menthol cigarettes yesterday, the agency specifically noted that the move would save the lives of 92,000 to 238,000 African Americans.

    ——-

    According to a 2018 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, 85% of Black smokers preferred menthol cigarettes.

    They’re like helpless children, incapable of resisting crafty marketers. Mind control is what it is. They must be saved from their infantile urges.

    • WTF

      Still baffled as to where in the constitution a federal government agency is granted the power to ban anything.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, in the 18th… wait that was repealed.

    • Tres Cool

      “You show me a fat, white, woman, with a couple of mixed kids and I guarantee there’s a pack of menthols in arm’s reach”

      -T Cool c. always

      • Pope Jimbo

        We will have hit a racial milestone when good looking black guys stop parading around with fat ugly white women like they won the lottery.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I had to drive a couple mornings this week. Day 1 was local drive time conservative radio guys talking with some journalo about the horrors of the opioid crisis. Lot’s of tsk-tsking about how drugs hook everyone and kill them after just one pill. Their main gripe though was that most drugs came through the Southern Border and thus was clearly Biden’s fault.

      Day 2 was these same two guys complaining about the menthol cigarette ban. How all they were doing was creating a black market and people would become criminals to keep buying their menthols. Of course it was the Biden’s fault for proposing such a stupid rule.

      Sigh. Of course, their support for menthols wasn’t all that deep. One of the guys kept saying “it is a legal product”. Never occurred to either of them that the govt doesn’t have any business telling anyone what to put in their body. It was all about some govt products are good and some are bad.

      • Count Potato

        If opioids were legal there were be fewer deaths.

      • MikeS

        You’re supposed to capitalize “Black” you racist.

      • Enough About Palin

        “I had to drive a couple mornings this week. Day 1 was local drive time conservative radio guys talking with some journalo about the horrors of the opioid crisis.”

        In my mind, “the horrors of the opioid crisis” is that I can’t buy black-tar opium at Target. I do not like pharmaceutical opiates one iota, but if you’ve ever smoked pure black-tar opium, you’d understand.

      • MikeS

        *adds line to after-retirement to-do list

    • Pope Jimbo

      the agency specifically noted that the move would save the lives of 92,000 to 238,000 African Americans

      I hope the evil racist police forces start budgeting accordingly. They are going to need a lot more ammo to keep up with all these extra black men hunts.

      • Enough About Palin

        Imagine all of the African-American smokers in the USA experiencing nicotine withdrawal en mass. Now there’s a legitimate reason to shelter-in-place.

  15. Count Potato

    “‘You cannot have a Ministry of Truth in this country’: Ron DeSantis says Biden ‘won’t get away’ with having a ‘Disinformation’ board that can ‘silence critics’ – as cringeworthy new video shows czar singing about misinformation to Mary Poppins tune”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10767941/Ron-DeSantis-calls-Bidens-Disinformation-board-Ministry-Truth.html

    https://nypost.com/2022/04/29/biden-disinfo-czar-nina-jankowicz-ripped-over-tiktok/

    That’s the most annoying shit I’ve ever heard.

    • Sensei

      A spoonful of sugar government money makes the medicine go down!

    • Gustave Lytton

      She understands misinformation because she’s not just the executive director, she’s also a client.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        And a producer.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Was trying to channel Sy Sperling. RIP.

      • MikeS

        I saw what you did there.

    • Count Potato

      It’s also a government official using Chinese spyware.

    • TARDis

      Seriously, how does this happen? Trudeau, Macron, AOC and the squad, this twat, and so many more foisted upon us.

      • WTF

        It happens because too many people are okay with it.

      • Bobarian LMD

        It happens because too many the right people are okay with it.

        FTFY.

      • Ownbestenemy

        If you have nothing to hide
        Hate Speech is Not Free Speech
        Words are Violence

        That is how..people believe this shit and never think they will be against the wall one day.

      • UnCivilServant

        Just because I have nothing to hide doens’t mean you have the right to look.
        By definition Free Speech includes All Speech, especially that which is unpopular.
        This is not Lynch’s Dune.

      • rhywun

        Decades of propaganda and endumbening. Stick a fork in us, we’re done.

    • The Other Kevin

      G*d help him, but as far as I know they never walked back that whole spying on parents thing.

    • The Other Kevin

      Chim chiminey, chim chiminey,
      Chim chim charoo
      Don’t say what you think
      Or it’s jail time for you

    • Count Potato

      I listened to it again. I think she is deliberately trying to get assassinated.

    • Pope Jimbo

      They just aren’t funny. They think they are, but they aren’t.

      Maybe it is because I like irreverent humor that I don’t get stuff like that idiot song. It is pathetic. It is making fun of anyone who doesn’t tow the lion.

      I’m sure if I was ever able to talk to that gal, she’d admit that it wasn’t irreverent, but instead “smart”. It was poking fun of the ignorant.

  16. Gustave Lytton

    Oh yay, we’re training Ukrainian soldiers in Germany. Remind me again, how did we justify our strikes on training camps and other targets in Pakistan?

    • Bobarian LMD

      Because Fuck You, that’s why?

      The only justification we’ve ever needed.

    • B.P.

      Surely Russia won’t have one of its clients like Iran hit us somewhere.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Another better idea?

    Ford Motor Co. is recalling more than a quarter-million Explorer SUVs in the U.S. because they can roll away unexpectedly while shifted into park.

    ——-

    Documents posted Friday by U.S. safety regulators say that a rear axle mounting bolt can fracture and cause the drive shaft to disconnect. If that happens, the SUVs can roll away even if they are placed in park gear, without the parking brake on.

    WTF? Is it a transmission issue or a driveshaft issue? My first guess was software. I love when “news” articles are completely free of useful information.

    • Gustave Lytton

      TSB action: use chock blocks

    • TARDis

      Oh goodie, a recall that doesn’t pertain to my POS Fucked Over Rebuilt Dodge.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      They are just exploring. It’s right there in the name.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Diveshaft held on by a single bolt?

    Sounds legit.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    What exactly is it that you do here?

    Twitter’s chief lawyer — seen as the social network’s top advocate for censoring conservatives — is among the highly paid executives who stand to lose their job if Elon Musk completes his takeover of the company.

    Vijaya Gadde, who earned $17 million last year as Twitter’s top legal counsel, could be on the chopping block as Musk is reportedly planning to slash jobs and reduce executive pay as he looks to secure financing for his Twitter bid.

    After disclosing plans to acquire the company earlier this month, Musk expressed “no confidence” in Twitter’s current management — which doesn’t bode well for their future once he takes the helm later this year.

    No wonder she cried. Who else would be dumb enough to pay her 17 million bucks a year?

    • Sensei

      Well look, I already told you! I deal with the goddamn customers conservatives so the engineers liberals don’t have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can’t you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

      • Ownbestenemy

        And it goes well with the Jump to Conclusions mat…

      • Compelled Speechless

        It’s not a mat, it’s her entire office floor.

    • Sean

      No wonder she cried. Who else would be dumb enough to pay her 17 million bucks a year?

      It’s fucking bizarre.

    • rhywun

      Chump change considering the role she likely played in keeping the grift going for members of the current administration.

    • The Hyperbole

      If I made 17 million last year you wouldn’t have to fire me I’d have already quit.

      • Mustang

        Same. Wouldn’t even have to be $17 mil to get me to quit. I’ll do it for 10.

      • Compelled Speechless

        She lives in San Fran. That just barely covers rent on a 2 bedroom and eating out at a “moderately priced” sushi joint twice a week.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I visited my GC’s house in silicon valley (he makes 8 figures)… It was a moderately sized house on a postage stamp lot. The finishes were super nice, but you could get the same thing here in DFW, even with the insane markup right now, for less than $1M.

    • The Other Kevin

      Sound like making Twitter profitable might be easier than he thought. Just a few firings and it’s in the black.

    • B.P.

      Hopefully Musk is better at clearing out his Deep State than Trump was ours.

      • db

        If he demonstrates skill at this, perhaps he could make a real run at that job…

      • Grosspatzer

        He’s be the first actual African-American president.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      She’ll be joining the new Disinformation Committee soon, though probably not at $17M per year.

      • one true athena

        oh she’ll get her 17M somehow, I bet.

      • Sensei

        Which is more than Fortune 100 CEOs in many industries make.

      • juris imprudent

        Those are overpaid, white male executives.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I hope Musk takes a page out of Trump’s playbook and gets this gal to jump through a bunch of humiliating hoops in the hopes of keeping her job. Then cans her anyhow. Like Trump did with Mittens.

      Don’t scoff, all those people are so narcissistic that they really think they are indispensable. “Sure Elon talks tough, but now that he has seen what he is up against and how awesome I am, I bet he gives me a raise.”

      Task 1: Write up a legal document that all employees will have to have either a M or F in 6″ high lettering on their ID badge to denote their birth sex. Must match what is on their birth certificate.

      Task 2: Sue BLM to recover any donations made to them in the last few years.

      I’d bet she’d do both of those tasks. She’d wail on Twitter about the injustice, but she’d do it.

      • Sensei

        She’s got a lot more “FO” money than your average DC sycophant.

        Most DC folk are, relatively speaking, quite poor.

      • Sensei

        I remember that!

      • Grosspatzer

        LOL. Who says drum solos are boring?

    • one true athena

      Someone says in the comments that she was brought onto the final season because Brian Henson (then only 16) suggested her. Good for you, kid, make your dreams real.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    a fractured rear axle bolt will allow the rear axle housing to move out of position, resulting in severe noise and vibration. If the rear axle bolt breaks, driveshaft/half shafts may become disconnected,

    The rear diff housing falls off?

    • Sensei

      It’s Ford. The engineers said the finite element analysis worked just fine with one bolt.

      The finance people said money saved would be less than any damages paid out.

      The lawyers OK’d it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Quality is only one job, it’s checked off. Time to do the rest.

      • Sensei

        As Don noted a few months ago on a Ford transmission line where a worker was omitting a shim because it made them go together easier –

        “Paint it blue and ship it!”

      • Tres Cool

        I need a citation for that. Line workers only assemble what’s at hand. Im not calling Don a liar, but Im skeptical.

    • l0b0t

      The rear differential ground itself to pieces after 6 years in my Nissan Rogue. Mechanic said it was fairly common with them and pointed to two other Rogues getting the same treatment.

      • Sensei

        Gotta be cheaper than the problem plagued CVT.

  21. Mustang

    “You are all…WEIRDOS. Hmph.”

    – Sam the Eagle after a song and dance routine at the Happiness Hotel in The Great Muppet Caper.

    Still makes me laugh out loud.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Whoopsie

    Twitter on Thursday reported mixed first-quarter earnings, missing Wall Street expectations on revenue but adding users. It also admitted to over-counting some monetizable daily active users between Q1 2019 and Q4 2021.

    Will Letitia James be filing fraud charges on Monday?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Of course she will..once the sale is complete she will go after its current owner.

    • rhywun

      As soon as she’s done “getting Trump”.

    • Grosspatzer

      No way. Need to wait until the sale is completed.

  23. Evan from Evansville

    Why am I yet again awake at 6am? Stayed up all night and I’ll probably be up for 3 more hours. Then, tonight, with my friend giving me his apartment for the week, while he’s on vacation…I’m gonna go to the bars and try to take it to the hoop. I’ve made-out and had lots of flirty talks. But now I actually have “my own” place. Being homeless is fun. Until Monday night, however, I’ve got my own place. That is what stopped my progress the last few weeks. Inviting a girl to a Love Motel for a night isn’t endearing. (Love Motel: look it up. Culture.)

    Seizure today was weird, but not really that big of a deal. I am probably not thinking about this in a sane state. I’m just used to shit at this point. Purgatory continues, but I’m so happy (ex) Lady is only two floors above me. She took care of me today. I’m taking care of her tomorrow. Not a euphemism (sadly). She’s earned it, deserves it. Help those who help you.

    Legit talked to her about marrying just so she can get a Green Card. We’d be a team, but both free to do whatever. We’re best friends, sleeping in the same bed, without sex nor drama. But this week I’ve got my friend’s place. I started my Korean career in this building in late 2009. Apt 303. Now, same building in 402. Memories swirl. Relish them when you can. They are fickle.

    • Grosspatzer

      “Memories swirl. Relish them when you can. They are fickle.”

      Indeed they are. Better days ahead, I hope.

    • DEG

      Sorry about the seizure Evan. It’s good you have someone to help.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    The rear differential ground itself to pieces after 6 years in my Nissan Rogue. Mechanic said it was fairly common with them and pointed to two other Rogues getting the same treatment.

    Sounds like a heat-treat/hardening issue.

  25. Grosspatzer

    “Crazy claim? Not at all. Imagine if you will, a world where your favorite team is guaranteed to win every game. This may sound like heaven. But consider how many games you’ll attend or even watch.

    It might be fun at first, but by year ten of unchallenged dominance, do you think you’d even bother looking up the scores of games?”

    Generations of annoying Yankee fans would like a word.

    • rhywun

      But a league where the favorite always wins is equally boring.

      There is no such league. The closest I know of is the German Bundesliga and it doesn’t seem to be hurting attendance or viewership.

      You might as well ask why people still attend Browns matches. I mean, why bother, right?

      • rhywun

        I’m beginning to think this person doesn’t understand sports at all.

      • robc

        Scottish Premier League.

        Who won this year, Glasgow or Glasgow? When Rangers had to reboot, it was even sillier.

      • robc

        Serious question I don’t know the answer to: Edinburgh is not that much smaller than Glasgow, so why are Hearts and Hibernian so much smaller than Rangers and Celtic?

      • rhywun

        Only a true Scotsman can answer that one.

      • one true athena

        Did they have bonus sectarian violence? Because you definitely got that with Rangers/Celtic in Glasgow. I went to Glasgow Uni there in the 90s and you didn’t go in the wrong neighborhood wearing the wrong team color.

      • rhywun

        It doesn’t help there are religious complications too.

        Some Euros take their soccer a little too seriously.

      • one true athena

        In Glasgow’s case they imported the division from Northern Ireland first and rather awkwardly all hated the English together, and THEN assigned football teams to the sides so it got pretty baked in.

      • Nephilium

        At least we’re not the Lions!

    • robc

      Even worse, Alabama fans.

  26. B.P.

    Dow Jones took another 950-point crap today. NASDAQ had its worst month since 2008. I’d better check my portfolio to see if I’m invested enough in arms manufacturers.

    • Grosspatzer

      *checks employer stock price*

      Should have cashed in those options long ago.

    • Count Potato

      Yikes!

  27. The Late P Brooks

    The “I Do Cars” guy pulled some motor apart, and a couple of the cams were junk; the lobes were worn right off. I can’t remember what it was. It might even have been a Mercedes. He said poorly hardened cams were not uncommon for that particular motor.

    • Sensei

      I believe I watched that one. MB V8 from memory.

  28. Enough About Palin

    “We will be seeing these folks tomorrow night; should be a good time.”

    ———————————————————————–

    “About this page

    Our systems have detected unusual traffic from your computer network. This page checks to see if it’s really you sending the requests, and not a robot. Why did this happen?

    IP address: 13.57.214.33
    Time: 2022-04-29T21:08:32Z
    URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJZfEh3EciU

    —————————————————–

    WHAT THE FUCK?

    • Ownbestenemy

      That link reminded me of this

      • Enough About Palin

        You’re joking, right?

      • Ownbestenemy

        I never joke

  29. one true athena

    Daily Quordle 95
    9️⃣7️⃣
    8️⃣4️⃣

    oof

    Other oof is my shower is completely corroded and leaking and they’re going to have to take out part of the wall to get to it and replace the whole thing. The Joy of Home Ownership strikes again!

    • Grosspatzer

      Ouch. I just had mold remediation on the second floor shower. I lucked out, it was superficial so just a minor inconvenience. Now have a dehumidifier to compensate for the lack of exhaust fan.

  30. Evan from Evansville

    Oh, and @Tundra: I love that One Evan Old was created. Thank you for that. Just a silly thing, but it’s a John Typo or to SugarFree a link or Brooks a comment. I’ve got a number attached to me! But I live in Korea…now…so I’m either 35 or 36! The latter is wrong! (It’s…sigh…silly.)

    • Tundra

      Happy to oblige! It still cracks me up that it stuck!

    • Evan from Evansville

      *Squints*

      It’s just so fucked up. Hospitals are good about keeping to your real age. But here you’re 1 when you’re born. But come Jan 1, you get a year older. If you’re born in late December, by your second week alive, culturally you are 2 years old.

      It’s, whatever. Culture. At least hospitals are smart about it. Good on them for changing that. It’s overtly confusing. We all actively talk about our “International Age” when itcomes up. I’m 35/36. I look like I’m mid 20s. This…has been brought up to me in a very complimentary manner. I am actively trying to take it down tonight. We shall see where it goes. (My bro is 40 and looks like he’s 25. He’s goofy and successful. DAMMIT!)

      • Sensei

        It’s the same in Japan for cultural things, but for official purposes they use same calculation of birthdate as the west.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Yeah, it’s an East Asian thing. I never have cared, but it is hard when you’re trying to figure out how old your students are!

        “How old are you?”

        Then ya gotta figure out what age we’re actually talking about…grrrrgle. Doesn’t really matter, but is just confusing when you have kids that are 11 and “13” (or 5 and 7, etc) in the same class. Hard to learn the basics of the room. “What grade am I teaching?!?!”

  31. Count Potato

    “By “free speech”, I simply mean that which matches the law.

    I am against censorship that goes far beyond the law.

    If people want less free speech, they will ask government to pass laws to that effect.

    Therefore, going beyond the law is contrary to the will of the people.”

    https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1519036983137509376

    Don’t read the comments.

    • rhywun

      We’re living in bizarro world.

    • Ownbestenemy

      That was his response to the EU after they mind read his intentions and where Twitter will be once the purchase is completed.

  32. Ownbestenemy

    Too good to pass us

    https://twitter.com/AOC/status/1520111152411389954

    Tired of having to collectively stress about what explosion of hate crimes is happening bc some billionaire with an ego problem unilaterally controls a massive communication platform and skews it because Tucker Carlson or Peter Thiel took him to dinner and made him feel special

    Best reply?

    Elon Musk
    @elonmusk
    ·
    17m
    Replying to
    @AOC
    Stop hitting on me, I’m really shy ☺️

    • MikeS

      HAHAHAHAHA! Awesome.

    • rhywun

      Is this like where Putin is retroactively responsible for rising gas prices? Has she not opened a newspaper in several years?

      • MikeS

        Only the Washington Post.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Which is a humble upstart of a newspaper with a struggling entrepreneur begging family and friends for capital.

    • Sean

      ?

      • Ownbestenemy

        I give her half a day and she goes all Taylor Lorenz about the bullying womez receive on the new Twitter

    • Sensei

      The replies noting Bezos and the WP were also on point.

    • B.P.

      How does one “collectively stress” about something? Multiple personalities? Or is this the thing where folks who want to sound smart and serious sprinkle shop-worn adverbs and adjectives around like a condiment?

    • Compelled Speechless

      Did they already release a report tying hate crimes directly to the sale (that hasn’t gone through, it’s literally still the same people in charge) of Twitter? That’s incredible that they could accurately gather, analyze, summarize and publish such a complicated piece of data so efficiently. Or it’s not because the number of hate crimes tied to this is precisely zero and will never go up. What a dumb hysterical cunte.

      • SDF-7

        Elon announces Twitter buy == More conservatives discuss it and/or come back to the platform == Conservative speech is Hate speech == Hate speech is a hate crime.

        QED in the Progressive Loon ^W Liberal world.

    • hayeksplosives

      Elon Musk: Troll Level—Expert.

    • Sensei

      I remember the DUI. I guess this does qualify as a parole violation.

      Talk about a dumb move.

    • MikeS

      “I’m the dezhig…degzh…degesinat…sober driver.”

      • TARDis

        Entitled dumb-ass should have been an uber rider.

    • rhywun

      I can’t believe I donated to them, one time. Ugh.

      • Count Potato

        You donated to the Mongol Empire!?

        Was it yak deductible?

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s a bad idea, I hear they just Horde it.

      • SDF-7

        As a financial plan, it is a good first steppe.

  33. The Hyperbole

    DAILY QUORDLE ROUNDUP™©®
    (The ‘We got a new term’ Edition)

    #94

    Champs
    db 18
    l0b0t 18

    kinnath 22
    Rat on a train 22
    rhywun 22
    Ownbestenemy 24
    Ted S. 24
    Tundra 24
    whiz 24
    MikeS 25
    The Hyperbole 25
    Not Adahn 26
    Sean 26
    one true athena 28
    TARDis 28
    Ghostpatzer 30

    Chumps
    Grumbletarian 120
    Grummun 120
    trshmnstr the terrible 214
    SDF-7 304

    Whelp, the impossible has been achieved. No, not a 1234 game but a Chump Cubed, hereafter known as “I SDF’d it.” 20 players, 57.2 average, 3x as many over the TL than under. Fuck’sake people! Even without SDF’s SDF those numbers stink on ice.

    Weekly Numbers – 29 players, 129 entries, 13 players reported every day. of those whiz is the week’s champ with a 21.85714286 average score. lotta ties for the weeks low score with 18, 5 players went all week without chumping.

    Full Statistics for those keeping track at home.

    • TARDis

      *hugs SDF*
      I’m not gay, don’t get any ideas.

      • SDF-7

        No homo. 😉

        I’m actually kind of pleased that a semi-lurker like me is entering into the site lexicon. (Of course now all you contrarians just won’t refer to it this way ever again… I’m not your supervisor and all… )

      • SDF-7

        Oh, and for the curious now that scores are posted — that goddamned upper right, I tried stare, state, stake and stage. Even being in the middle of re-reading the First Chronicles of Thomas Covenant — stave just didn’t leap to mind.

      • MikeS

        One big thing I learned in Quordle; don’t chase words. When you have multiple options like that, go after other words and let those guesses reduce the possibilities.

      • The Hyperbole

        Also, sometimes it’s worth it to blow a guess on a word that isn’t going to be a correct answer but uses three or four unused possible consonants just to rule them out.

      • SDF-7

        All good points — and I try to keep those strategies in mind… but I’d blown 2 extra guesses on lower left (because it was 3 green and I didn’t have much to go on anywhere else), then tried “awful” on lower right as mentioned and got little for it (the “w, f” was my attempt at knocking out those less likely to be thought of consonants) — and didn’t have much chance anywhere else by the time I missed twice on the ever-so-close-but-not-there top right. Ah well.

      • TARDis

        don’t chase words
        When you have 4 letters in the right place, what else can you do?

      • MikeS

        If you’ve solved the other three words already? Nothing. I’m talking about if you have other plays.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        don’t chase words

        That works if you play not to chump out. If you want to score low, you have to go for it. Every miss when you haven’t yet gotten a word is +4 points.

      • MikeS

        So, you’re saying it’s better to sit there on STA_E and keep guessing instead of going after one of the other words and letting those guesses better your odds at STAVE? I just don’t see it.

      • kinnath

        After three guesses, I had STA_E. It was the last word I solved.

        I solved the other 3 words first. That gave me the missing letter.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Depends. The strategy bit me in the ass x2 today, so it’s hard to say it was a good strategy in hindsight.

        That said, from this morning, I was faced with this for guess 4

        ⬜?⬜⬜⬜ ??⬜⬜?
        ⬜⬜?⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜?
        ?⬜⬜⬜? ⬜⬜⬜??

        ??⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜?
        ⬜?⬜?⬜ ⬜⬜⬜?⬜
        ⬜???? ⬜⬜?⬜⬜

        If I want a 4 in my score, best option is to take a second crack at bottom left. _OUSE is either rouse, mouse, house, douse, or louse. I had guessed rouse in 3, so I had a 1 in 4 chance. No way in hell am I getting any of the other ones first guess.

        That’s my point. After guess 3, if I still want to get around a 20, I need to chase words (higher risk, higher reward). If I want to avoid chumping, I need to use your strategy. I went aggressive and it bit me in the ass.

      • MikeS

        Gotcha. The Tin Cup strategy. ?

      • kinnath

        So I had STA in the right place and E in the wrong place after three guesses. That left STA_E as the correct place for E. That leaves a bundh of guesses for the right answer. But I also had QUA in the right place on the bottom right. Given my seed words that could only be QUACK and QUALM. I guessed right. That gave LOUSE, then NEVER, and finally STAVE.

        ⬜⬜⬜?⬜ ??⬜⬜⬜
        ⬜⬜⬜?⬜ ⬜⬜⬜?⬜
        ⬜⬜⬜?⬜ ⬜⬜?⬜⬜
        ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜?⬜⬜
        ⬜⬜⬜⬜? ⬜⬜⬜??
        ????? ⬜??⬜⬜
        ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ?????

        ?⬜?⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
        ⬜⬜⬜?⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
        ⬜?⬜⬜⬜ ???⬜⬜
        ⬜?⬜?⬜ ?????
        ????? ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛

      • kinnath

        oops. It couldn’t have been quack.

      • Ted S.

        For what it’s worth, my first guess was ROUTE, which gave me the *OU*E.

        I thought about going with COUPE, which wouldn’t have worked, and instead decided on my other seed word, SLAIN, which obviously made the bottom left easy on guess #3.

      • MikeS

        The number of guesses are not infinite.

      • SDF-7

        I switched to upper right after trying “awful” for the lower right (since I knew it had a, u and l in some order). Hence I knew ‘l’ wasn’t there, so it couldn’t be stale.

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t get me started on you skipping stade, stame, stane and stape.

      • rhywun

        I had four letters, two in the correct position, and I had to sit on ‘qualm’ for a half-hour before it came to me. ‘Stave’ was easy because I’d just got ‘never’.

    • MikeS

      I don’t know how Goggle Docs works, but can you enable filtering, or sorting, or whatever so we can explore the data a bit?

      • MikeS

        It would, but those rows you have on top fuck it all up.

        In the vastly superior Excel, you could have row 5 be the filter row; it would only sort/filter the rows from 6 down.

      • The Hyperbole

        That’s how it works for me. Rows 1 thru 5 are ‘frozen’. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m just a simple county carpenter, it’s amazing that I can do any of this.

      • MikeS

        Ah! If I select A5-L40, I can go create a temporary filter view.

      • MikeS

        Thanks, Hype. For you.

      • The Hyperbole

        If John Prine wrote a bad song I haven’t heard it.

      • MikeS

        I wholeheartedly agree.

    • Ownbestenemy

      To keep with the theme of the day my starter word was Stoic

    • db

      WOO!

    • whiz

      I’ve been thinking of writing an article about how I choose starter words; now that I’ve won for a week, maybe someone would actually read it. Will submit soon.

  34. robc

    I am about out of schadenfreude regarding my former company…they closed today with a market cap below $100MM. They were a billion dollar company last June.

    Looking back, it is clear they needed to get rid of a bunch of people (I would say 75% of so of the people I worked with have moved on, either by force or by choice), so can’t really blame them for letting me go. I am in a much better situation now. I am with a privately held company that is more open about their financials than the previous public company was. We get a monthly EBITDA update.

  35. robc

    The whole not being eligible thing might be a problem.

    • robc

      Ummm…that was a reply about Musk and the presidency.

    • Count Potato

      I thought he meant Secretary of State?

  36. Brochettaward

    Veni, vidi, FIrsted

    I came. I saw. I Firsted.

    • Tundra

      Nice!

    • TARDis

      Haha!

  37. Count Potato

    “The lawyer for the anonymous 2019 Ukraine whistleblower weighs in in favor of Taylor Lorenz & WaPo revealing the identity of the person behind Libs Of TikTok”

    https://twitter.com/JerryDunleavy/status/1520116083847581702

    “I am so tired of ppl on both sides (though it seems dominated by alt-right) who promote hatred & discord online, especially when anonymous. These ppl are destroying our country & democracy. They should not achieve fame & should be shunned rather than applauded. Expose them all.”

    https://twitter.com/MarkSZaidEsq/status/1520115461458911232

    What is the name of that guy anyway? I heard YouTube scans the audio and will autoban you for saying it. Also, for saying Arnold Schwarzenegger. It’s not a particularly bright robot.

    • Ted S.

      Private Vindman?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Nah, it was some young guy who was a carryover saboteur from Obama. Can’t think of it right now but even though it was common knowledge at the time, the Dems treated it like it was verboten to say his name.

      • Ted S.

        Now I remember: Eric Ciaramella.

  38. hayeksplosives

    Gosh darn it. I just want a plain list of the NFL draftees so far.

    But at ESPN and nfl, all I get are videos and “draft scorers”

    Can any of youse post a link to a clean list??

    • rhywun

      I don’t care about the draft, but all I’ve seen is multiple stories about some blonde’s reaction to her man maybe getting picked and now getting picked.

      • hayeksplosives

        One of the stories was about the first guy with “two moms” being drafted. I shit you not.

        I have no idea why that would be relevant to his playing, but it might be relevant to locker room relations if it is inflated into a Big Deal.