IFLA: The “No Time!” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of April 3

by | Apr 3, 2022 | IFLA | 56 comments

Lily and Bodie, one of this Spring’s wave of pups.

 

Gaaa!  Ok, got to be at Prospect mountain in about seventeen hours.  What can I discern…  Domestic disruption settles as Mercury moves out of alignment.  This week is still heavily weighted towards divorces/breakups as Venus and Saturn continue their alignment into next week.  Aries gets a bit more luck picking up that aforementioned Mercury, and Pisces would be advised to have a date on Wednesday.  The planets will be right… for love!

 

Lily, Banks and Toby (no relation to Banks)

 

A surprising number of Jews represented this week.

Aries:  Page of Wands reversed – An errand boy/underling that screws things up.

Taurus:  3 of Swords reversed – Good food from any of the following types:  Persian,  Mediterranean, or Churrascaria.

Gemini:  The High Priestess reversed – A date going less well than expected, a Jewess obstructing you, crappy pomegranates.

Cancer:  Queen of Coins – A rich/dragon lady provides a brief opportunity.

Leo:  The Lovers – Bow Chicka Wow!

Virgo:  4 of Wands – Celebrations, parties, a good time was had by all in attendance.

Libra:  5 of Coins – A mixing of social classes.

Scorpio:  10 of Swords – Ever have one of those weeks here you get stabbed in the back?  Yeah, sorry about that.

Sagittarius:  Temperance – A break in the louds, unexpected success, overachieving.

Capricorn:  10 of Coins – (((They))) provide gatekeeping or protective functions, happiness dependent on wealth.

Aquarius:  9 of Cups – Being fat and happy, proudly displaying successes, a well stocked merchant.

Pisces:  The Hierophant reversed – The Pope does something stupid and throws two subordinates under the bus.  The bus in this particular case is metaphorical.

 

Daisy and Lily are the kind of friends that can beat the snot out of each other for an hour then go for a drink together

The water is always wetter in someone else’s bowl

 

 

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

56 Comments

  1. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Capricorn: I didn’t know horoscopes had ethnic components to them.

    • Not Adahn

      Oh yes. Note the arrangement of coins on that card. And in case that was too subtle, the scroll The High Priestess holds says “Torah” on it.

    • The Gunslinger

      Capricorn here too. Bible passage this morning at church was:
      “I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture.”

  2. Mojeaux

    Taurus: 3 of Swords reversed – Good food from any of the following types: Persian, Mediterranean, or Churrascaria.

    My palate is not that sophisticated.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’ll happily eat your portions. Those cuisines are some of my favorites.

      • Mojeaux

        *slides plate to Scruffy*

      • Don escaped Texas

        arm-wrestles Scruff for the baba ghanoush

  3. LCDR_Fish

    Rhywun and others – new Carpenter Brut album dropped on Friday. Downloaded last night but haven’t listened to yet. Will rectify that this afternoon while I start working on my first JPME essay.

    • l0b0t

      Japanese Personal Monster Emitter? A device to summon kaiju in an emergency?

      • dbleagle

        The good LCDR is trying to get a Joint……..rating.

      • LCDR_Fish

        It’s not required anymore – not even for command screening IIRC (much less the reserves), but it looks good and for the moment, my schedule is actually pretty supportive.

        That said, I didn’t check how much reading would be involved and I had forgotten how much I absolutely hate scrolling through reams of pdfs (vice sitting with a book in a nice chair).

        If I can get the coursework working on my tablet, it might be manageable. (music in the background).

    • rhywun

      ? Cool.

  4. l0b0t

    “Sagittarius: Temperance – A break in the louds, unexpected success, overachieving.”

    Well, I am broke and out of whiskey… temperance it is then. I hope the other stuff comes to pass soon.

  5. westernsloper

    Gemini: The High Priestess reversed – A date going less well than expected, a Jewess obstructing you, crappy pomegranates.

    I don’t know any jewess’s’s and all pomegranates are crappy.

    • l0b0t

      You can have my old one, but she will likely be a disappointment.

      • westernsloper

        No thanks.

      • westernsloper

        Heh…..never seen that, I might need to watch that this afternoon.

    • Ted S.

      I don’t think the HR lady where I work is Jewish, and I can’t think of anybody else likely to obstruct me this weekend.

    • Not Adahn

      One of my “I’ve made it” signs is having enough land, money and free time to have multiple Border Collies.

      • Tundra

        I’ve had herding dogs forever and I think with all the mountain hiking and stuff we do, it would be a good fit. I was just perusing a local rescue’s site and getting a little pissed off about how many there are. People buy them because they are fucking awesome, but they have no idea what they are in for.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Oh boy, that last one. Wouldn’t trade our mini Aussie for the world though.

      • Ted S.

        I had an unexpected half day off between Christmas and New Year’s, which I used to go to the back entrance to a state recreation area, where the trail connecting it to the recreation area was only added a few years back. The back trail was empty, but when I got to the trails that were always part of the recreation area, everybody was enjoying their week off between Christmas and New Year’s to get out in nature, even thought it was only a few degrees above freezing.

        Anyhow, one of the hikers had a border collie, who sidled up to me with a stick in her mouth that she clearly wanted me to take and throw for her. Unfortunately, my Sonny would be extremely possessive of such a stick, and needs to be on a leash anyway.

        I really like how one of the trails at the recreation area goes between two ponds, but damn if the place doesn’t bring out a bunch of clueless newbie types. The year I made the mistake of going there on Labor Day was terrible.

      • Not Adahn

        I am very glad that Lily is good off leash. It makes the hiking much more enjoyable for both of us.

      • Ted S.

        Sonny was a stray we rescued/adopted from animal control, which probably explains his behavior issues.

      • Rat on a train

        Multiple Border Collies to herd all the cats.

      • Not Adahn

        I was thinking of having my own flyball team.

    • kinnath

      I love shelties. All the basic character of a herding dog in a 30-lb bundle of joy. They do just fine with a modest yard.

      Border Collies are awesome. But they need space and a job.

  6. Brochettaward

    You’ve gotten so wrapped up in the sugar business, you’ve forgotten the taste of a real First!

  7. Don escaped Texas

    Virgo: 4 of Wands – Celebrations, parties, a good time was had by all in attendance

    Marsha and I are even starting a book club next month! – Ketanji Brown Jackson

  8. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    An errand boy/underling that screws things up.

    I need to find an underling to fuck things up, I guess.

    • Not Adahn

      Or expect your next delivery order to have issues.

  9. Not Adahn

    I skipped going to Moreau for another day of hiking because the weatherbot said it was going to be raining by now. It is not raining now.

    • MikeS

      Would you say your hike…

      wasn’t in the cards?

      *dons sunglasses

      • Not Adahn

        Why do you have Don’s sunglasses?

    • Ted S.

      Yeah, the weather app suggested it would start raining here a little after 10:00, and at 9:30 the rain was very close on the radar. But it didn’t actually start raining until about 11:30.

    • Sean

      The weather here cooperated for some lunch time grilling. I’m hoping for the same for dinner.

      • Gustave Lytton

        What is this “weather” have to do with grilling?

      • Sean

        I’ll grill in a light drizzle, but that’s my limit.

    • db

      I heard it generally wasn’t a great idea for people to go hiking around the old Moreau place.

    • Sean

      Needs more social workers.

      Defund the police!

      • Chafed

        It’s the onlt way.

    • westernsloper

      Indeed. Seems a bit chilly in there.

  10. Q Continuum

    “A date going less well than expected, a Jewess obstructing you”

    You repeat yourself.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    The least you could do is use the Tenniel illustration.

    Disappoint.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: Temperance – A break in the louds, unexpected success, overachieving.

    Good. I hate louds. I prefer peace and quietude. As for the overachieving; there’s a first time for everything, I guess.

  13. one true athena

    Today’s WOrldle is a good joke. Maker must’ve got sick of everyone (like me) whining about teeny islands.

    and my quordle result was finally not awful:
    5️⃣7️⃣
    4️⃣3️⃣