Joemala: Episode 68

by | Apr 27, 2022 | Joemala | 196 comments

 

Kaylieburrow coughed loudly. And then again when no one looked up from their phone.

“You’re not sick,” Seresto said as she doom-scrolled through Instagram.

“My lungs hurt, and I’m feverish. I think I’m feverish? Can someone come feel my forehead?”

“You’re not sick. You’ve had all your vaccines,” Seresto told her.

“But Madam Harris has COVID! Mine could be a breakthrough case!” Kaylieburrow said and coughed dramatically.

Astrid stalked over from her cubby and shot a laser thermometer at Kaylieburrow’s forehead. “98.1,” she said. “You don’t have a fever.”

“But Missus Harris…” she began.

“She’s not sick, you moron,” Astrid hissed. “It’s to get her out of the Correspondent’s Dinner. Haven’t you seen her…” She mouthed the words no one was allowed to speak: “Poll numbers?”

Seresto dug her kitten heels into the carpet and dragged her rolling chair over to Astrid and Kaylieborrow. “Sixteen percent,” she said and covered her mouth to giggle.

“We need to get off this sinking ship,” Astrid said. “Go work for someone smart and popular.”

“AOC!” Kaylieburrow squealed. Seresto stabbed a finger into her ribs sharply and she yelped.

“Or we get out of this business entirely,” Astrid continued. “Who knows for how much longer Twitter is even going to be around.”

“Musk man bad,” Kayliebourrow said, clenching her face like a fist. “Free speech is so dangerous. Free Vijaya!”

Astrid pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes until bright stars exploded in the darkness.

“I’m adding a Vijaya flag to my Twitter handle!” Kaylieburrow said excitedly.

“I thought you were leaving Twitter,” Seresto said drily.

“I am, but not before I add that flag!”

“I think we are going to have to stick around at least until the midterms,” Seresto said, pulling Astrid away.

“Yes, we use the chaos of the election to leave,” Astrid said.

“And leave her behind,” Seresto said, cutting her eyes at Kaylieburrow, now in tears and wailing that she couldn’t find a national flag for the non-existent nation of Vijaya.

“No, yeah, that ho has got to go,” Astrid said, her Bronx accent bubbling up. She snapped her mouth shut to stop it, but Seresto seemed not to notice.

“You might end up having to find a job on your own. I’m out of here when my OnlyFans takes off,” Seresto said.

“OnlyFans? My God, what if she finds out? She’ll explode!” Astrid said in an urgent whisper

Seresto waved her concerns away. “It’s OK, you can’t tell it’s me. I only do butt stuff.”

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

196 Comments

  1. DEG

    “ Haven’t you seen her…” She mouthed the words no one was allowed to speak: “Poll numbers?”

    I thought that was going to go someplace else.

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      Nothing’s more filthy, disgusting, vile and depraved to an unpopular politician than tanking poll numbers. Nothing.

    • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

      Rhymes with butt stuff?

  2. juris imprudent

    She mouthed the words no one was allowed to speak

    So, so fine.

  3. DEG

    “I think we are going to have to stick around at least until the midterms,” Seresto said, pulling Astrid away.

    “Yes, we use the chaos of the election to leave,” Astrid said.

    “And leave her behind,” Seresto said, cutting her eyes at Kaylieburrow, now in tears and wailing that she couldn’t find a national flag for the non-existent nation of Vijaya.

    Seresto and Astrid are smart.

    • juris imprudent

      Well damn DEG – I missed following you here!?!

      • DEG

        I thought I wasn’t going to be first. I was doing some stuff for work and looked at the clock. “12:05. SugarFree is up, and the post will be flooded with comments.”

        I brought up SugarFree’s post, and saw no one had commented.

      • R.J.

        A great first. A masterful first.

    • Tonio

      Poor Kalieburrow…

  4. DEG

    Seresto waved her concerns away. “It’s OK, you can’t tell it’s me. I only do butt stuff.”

    Beautiful ending.

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      Beautiful ending.

      In keeping with the, uh, thrust of the conversation. As it were.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Maybe Beautiful, but I haven’t actually seen xer butt… so could be Hillary bad, as well.

    • Sean

      lulz

    • Not Adahn

      yup.

    • Rebel Scum

      But there is at least one loose end.

    • MikeS

      ^ I came here to say this ^

  5. juris imprudent

    “It’s OK, you can’t tell it’s me. I only do butt stuff.”

    Paging Heroic Mullato!

  6. Tundra

    Seresto waved her concerns away. “It’s OK, you can’t tell it’s me. I only do butt stuff.”

    How the hell do you do it, week after insane week?

    Thanks, though. I like this story arc!

    • juris imprudent

      It’s like there is a competition amongst the muses to fill his head.

      • Swiss Servator

        “You go, I am not going in there!”

        “No, I went last time, make someone else go in there!”

      • juris imprudent

        genuine lol

    • The Other Kevin

      I picture him living a Hunter S. Thompson lifestyle and getting his inspiration from a precise combination of meth, fentanyl, and black market Russian vodka.

      • juris imprudent

        I think absinthe must be part of that cocktail.

      • Nephilium

        The psychoactive effects of absinthe are really oversold.

      • juris imprudent

        It still has a certain panache.

      • Grosspatzer

        This would be just the thing. Pretty flowers, grows right here in my backyard.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Toad licking.

      • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

        Well, something has to keep the Cthulhu retweets at bay.

      • R C Dean

        Needz moar insulin.

  7. Chipwooder

    You know, in the weeks since I last darkened the Glibs door, something was missing, and now I know what it was – the inescapable feeling of nausea and revulsion deep in the pit of my stomach.

    It’s good to be back!

    • Not Adahn

      darkened the Glibs door

      Yeah, they use backlighting to make easier targets.

    • SugarFree

      Behind the Glibs Door: An Erotic Journey from Slate to Breitbart

  8. Q Continuum

    “you can’t tell it’s me. I only do butt stuff”

    I feel like this deserves additional explanation.

  9. robc

    Going OT to respond to the dead thread:

    RE: SALT cap. There are some changes that are needed, it should be 2x for married filing jointly and it should be indexed to inflation. Failing to do both of those was a major problem. I would be fine with making the cap $0 also. That solves the 2x and indexing problem.

  10. JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

    “Free Vijaya!”

    That sounds kind of erotic.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Once seen, cannot unsee

    • Evan from Evansville

      *Tips cap in agreement*

  11. Evan from Evansville

    “Vijaya”

    I know I’m in one of my unstoppable…moods…but you’re pressuring me to look into my Gentleman’s Adult Entertainment files…I’ll find the best. (My favorite is actually breathtaking…trust me. I am not being sarcastic this time. Epic. Would. Will again.)

    • Evan from Evansville

      Speaking of which…eh, fuck it. I’ll go forth:

      I think AOC is hot as balls. People do the weird Sarah Jessica Parker “Horse Face” thing, and that is LOVELY. Gives me less competition. She’s a Useless Idiot acting idiotically useful, but I am thrilled at the prospect of throwing a hate-fuck into her. I’d be incredibly lovely for her. I’d whisper some small government shit as she grasps herself after her cataclysmic orgasms leave her heaving. She’ll struggle to find her brain again, which she doesn’t want to grasp. The come-down is too perfect to interrupt. I make it worse. I know how lovingly ticklish people get in certain spots. Gentle caresses. Fiendish convulsions that bring up the after-fuck giggles. Brings on more.

      I’ll get some water. She’s still wet. I should be as well. Once more, and she’ll belong to me. Forever more. I’m her raven.

      • Evan from Evansville

        *Dries up sock and throws it in the corner.*

        What’s that? Did I miss something? I had an errand to run. I think I covered everything.

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        You just think she’s hot because you want to date her, or something like that.

        Actually, I agree. I think she’s a good looking woman on the outside anyway.

      • Evan from Evansville

        THANK YOU.

        She’s a Useful Idiot. I don’t even blame her for it. She’s being smart. She’s getting paid. She just has to say what they tell her to. Her life has never been better. Atta girl.

        She’s popular *because* she is hot. I’d like to reward her for that. As many know, my handsome self has gravitational force that lures women in. She, enchanted, can only come closer to my mass. When she gets there, the look in her eye will tell it all.

        We’re going to Flavor Town.

      • DEG

        If AOC were an A cup, I doubt anyone would pay attention to her.

      • R.J.

        I don’t even see the attraction with her big boobs. Just not attractive to me. Personality is part of attraction to me and hers is not to my liking.

      • MikeS

        I find her attractive in spite of her big boobs. She’d be more attractive to me with Bs or Cs.

        De gustibus non disputandum est

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        Maybe you can go on a double date with OMWC and Greta.

      • ron73440

        Isn’t she too old for him now?

      • Ownbestenemy

        AND BY DATE YOU MEAN…

      • Evan from Evansville

        What are you silly people thinking? Big boobs are BAD. They don’t last. They’re fun for a one-night-stand, YEAH. Small ones develop. Much as my erections enhance my abilities.

        I actually like her face. But I’m JUST TODAY 35 (on Evan Old), single brain-damaged, homeless and unemployed. She’s cute. I’d like to fuck her out of being a Useful Idiot. I doubt that will ever happen. But, prediction: It will.

        (Narrator: It won’t.)

        ^^Fuck off, no one likes you!!

      • Ed Wuncler

        I would tap that ass too.

      • Animal

        Never.
        Stick.
        Your dick.
        In crazy.

        Believe me, I learned about this the hard way.

      • Ed Wuncler

        As did Johnny Depp.

      • juris imprudent

        Believe me, I learned about this the hard way.

        Be a little challenging to stick it into crazy any other way.

      • Bobarian LMD

        It is all crazy. Telling yourself any different is just lying to the you that matters.

        Use false names and avoid sharp objects.

  12. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    In her swearing-in speech, my friend that is now my boss’s boss’s boss talked a lot about bi-partisanship. I think she sees the writing on the wall for the midterms. I wonder what the panic level actually is among the politicals? I’m guessing it’s high.

    • Evan from Evansville

      It should be obvious to them. I’m not sure that they get it, yet. Most Americans are fed up with this shit. “Live and let live. Just don’t bring me into all your shit!” They’ve been afraid of opening their mouths for being canceled or called a racist, [insert prefix here]-phobe.

      The ’22 elections will be a bloodbath. Opening their mouths with their ballots. But Team Blue won’t change. They can’t. They don’t know how. They have nowhere else to go. So they CONTINUE to double-down, double-down…

      All Team Red has to do is to go against it, or just let the enemy make more mistakes. Never apologize. They won’t do this, because they are the Dumb Party. We shall see. *Gets popcorn*

    • R.J.

      I often wonder. Do they really panic? I think the various staffs never change or lose a job despite the changes in elections. Life for them continues, perhaps under only slightly altered rules.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        The bureaucrats don’t change, but the funding of their agencies depends upon Congress, and when the Dems are in charge, it’s almost a guarantee of moar. Now, the GOP will always mouth off about curtailing funding, but they almost never follow through and eventually cave. But the bureaucrats like the safety & security that a Dem Congress brings.

        The bureaucrats look to the politicals to secure the funding, so although they’re temporary, they have a lot of pressure to get dat money. I think they must be freaking out at having to beg a bunch of Republicans for their livelihoods. It’s purely emotional, because the GOP will eventually give them what they want.

      • Ownbestenemy

        We’ve had excellent funding under GOP for the FAA…go figure.

      • Nephilium

        Bureaucrats… Bureaucrats never change.

        /Ron Perlman – Fallout

    • rhywun

      I’m wondering whether getting us into war with Russia is going to harm or help the Democrats. I honestly have no idea at this point.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They may do it just in an attempt to galvanize the public against an enemy. They’re that venal.

    • R C Dean

      I wonder what the panic level actually is among the politicals? I’m guessing it’s high.

      Can’t imagine why. They are barely answerable to the President, and not answerable at all to Congress. They don’t even hide their contempt for Congress.

      They all knew going in that their expiration date was likely the next Presidential election. I would think Team Red taking over Congress wouldn’t even muss their hair.

  13. Rebel Scum

    Define “fascist”.

    MSNBC’s @JoeNBC: 2022 midterms not a referendum of Biden, inflation, the border, or the sexualization of education, but rather “the fascist strain in the Republican Party”

    • R.J.

      Ha! I see you found the Trump image on PhotoFunia. Delightful.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      I thought the Republicans were the Nazis and the Democrats were the Fascists?

    • Urthona

      Top issues according to the actual public:

      1. Inflation
      2. Rising Crime
      3. Election Integrity
      4. Education issues like parent’s rights, crt, and what children are taught.
      5. Illegal Immigration
      6. Covid

      It does seem to me that Democrats are extremely weak on… well… every single one of these issues.

      • kinnath

        At publishing time, Sen Ted Cruz has begun eating popcorn as he watches his leftist colleagues scramble.

      • Ed Wuncler

        “Sen Mitt Romney feels confident that he’ll weather the storm by continuing to plant himself firmly on the political fence. “By playing both sides I can please all voters of Utah and accomplish nothing,” said a confident Romney. “No way they’ll replace me with an actual Republican.”

        Chef’s kiss

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        “The dead need their student loans paid!” He’s not wrong you know.

    • rhywun

      Sure, Joe. ?

  14. UnCivilServant

    OT – ?

    Still scoring applicants. I hate the word games vendors play to try to weasel around the listed qualifications to get their person into the interview room. Unless it’s something like “more experience than the product has been around” or “experience with a patently nonexistant product” I can’t call them out on it and have to give full faith and credit to the claim. Even when we both know that the listed experience isn’t actually applicable to the requested qualification, it’s just phrased close enough that the HR people will excoriate me for discounting them. And I end up wasting my time and the candidates time conducting an interview that they invariably bomb, so it’s not like they get the job, so the vendor doesn’t get any money for it.

    But, there’s probably some requirement to answer a certain percentage or absolute number of bids to remain a qualified vendor, so my time gets wasted, the candidates’ times get wasted, and I keep muddling through until I find someone who is actually a fit for the job.

    • UnCivilServant

      I really just want to say “Candidate is clearly a Developer. This is an Admin job.” I can’t, because that’s not how the process goes.

    • MikeS

      Question from someone who doesn’t speak Government: There are vendors who supply people for open positions? And you have to interview people you know are unqualified just because a vendor gave them to you? And if this happens a lot, why not stop accepting people from said vendors?

      • UnCivilServant

        There are vendors who supply people for open positions?

        Yes. We refer to the people as consultants or contractors, they are provided by vendors who are basically middlemen who eat most of what is paid for the services provided.

        And you have to interview people you know are unqualified just because a vendor gave them to you?

        Only if they are in the top three scores after I review the responses (per a scoring key drawn up when the position is requested)

        And if this happens a lot, why not stop accepting people from said vendors?

        Because vendors and vendor management are handled by OGS. I have no say in who gets to bid candidates. I only get to score those candidates OGS sends me and hope for the best.

      • UnCivilServant

        Blockquote fail.

        *EDIT FERRY HELPS*

      • UnCivilServant

        Thanks EmoNoir Edit Ferry!

      • MikeS

        Thanks for the explanation.

        I guess it’s similar to the employment agency we use occasionally to find laborers. The difference is that they aren’t are only source of applications.

      • UnCivilServant

        Pretty much.

        The process for a State hire is different, but those come around less often.

  15. JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

    I wonder if one of the new perks at Twitter will be free testicle tanning, regardless of which of the 57 genders the employee is.

    • SugarFree

      Don’t use a machine, tan your balls naturally. Think of it as showing the sun your butthole.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I hear that’s a great way of getting the UV rays in your body to kill the vid

      • Bobarian LMD

        Something about getting Vitamin D through the butthole makes me nervous.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Taking the D everyday keeps the covid away, m’kay

      • MikeS

        “Look at it! Look at my butthole, sun!”

      • SugarFree

        Let’s be honest… The sun deserves it.

      • Nephilium

        It attacked first with radiation!

      • CPRM

        “It has come to our attention that the sun has massive nuclear capabilities. It is unacceptable to let this proliferate. Therefore, we will begin our invasion with a coalition of the willing immediately.”

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        The sun has civilian use fusion power. Are we sure we want to tangle with that?

      • Rebel Scum

        Not sure how that would go over with the neighbors.

      • MikeS

        “Look at it! Look at my butthole, sun neighbor!”

      • Sensei

        You mean the tune sung by Soundgarden?

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        Butthole Sun?

      • Swiss Servator

        Butt hole sun
        Won’t you come
        And wash away the Only Fans?
        Butt hole sun
        Won’t you come?
        Won’t you come?
        Won’t you come?

      • MikeS

        *nods head, signs along*

      • MikeS

        /sings, also

      • Bobarian LMD

        MikeS for the hearing impaired.

  16. Swiss Servator

    Reposting:

    Swiss Servator on April 27, 2022 at 9:25 am (Edit)
    LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS AUTHOR SHOUT OUTS! (leaving out TPTB, we know we are cool)

    RJ – thanks pal, you have been a big content provider and help… and this Thursday is going to ROCK!
    CPRM – Tonight for your latest Hat n’ Hair. Glad I am a Hair level sponsor now. I had best see my name in the credits…
    Gadfly – Dude…tomorrow yours is up at 1100. Strong work!
    ron73440 – Thanks for the continuing Stoic column!
    Animal – The all time continuing champ, next to SugarFree. I have the first two of your next one set.
    Yusef – That interesting art one goes up Monday PM.
    Tulip – Thanks for covering WAWR, and the next Friday will have the next post in that series of Friday PM ones.
    Richard – Who knew Vermont was so interesting – thank you!

    Not Adahn and Chafed, thanks for keeping our Sunday line up running!

    It has been a bit of a time lately, at Glibs HQ. We appreciate your help, and continued support. (Thanks to trshy and Athena, and all you who contributed, it was a little brighter).

    • Peter Lorre, contemplating a Crime

      Thanks Swissy and all TPTB, this place is a lifeline for myself and many other miscreants,
      Cheers!

    • Animal

      It has been a bit of a time lately, at Glibs HQ.

      That seems like damn near British-level understatement.

      Thanks for the kudos, Swiss.

    • MikeS

      • Peter Lorre, contemplating a Crime

        Mike, when did your Avatar start flipping people off? it’s quite subtle.

      • MikeS

        Quite a while. I made it a couple days after we were able to use gifs as avatars. Or maybe we were always able to but it was after someone (Straff, maybe?) discovered we could use them.

      • R.J.

        It is extra awesome

      • Fatty Bolger

        Yeah, that’s cool.

      • MikeS

        The *blink* at the end of yours is a nice touch.

    • R.J.

      Thank you sir! Glad to contribute!

  17. The Late P Brooks

    “We need to get off this sinking ship,” Astrid said. “Go work for someone smart and popular.”

    Happy trails.

    • ron73440

      It’s still funny

    • Ownbestenemy

      Geeks need their grift too

  18. Not Adahn

    Who. The fuck. Thought this was a good idea?

    A web-based mac emulator preloaded with software. Looking at the games “installed” I am terrified of losing my job.

    https://macos8.app/

    • Fatty Bolger

      Tried Warcraft, but I don’t remember Orcs walking that slow.

      • Not Adahn

        Civilization is as I remember it, but unfortunately they kept the manual-reference based copy protection.

      • Nephilium

        This seems appropriate then.

  19. Rebel Scum

    Poor kid.

    This mom is mad because a doctor dared to suggest that her 9 yr old child is “too young to know himself” when she wanted her kid to transition. The doctor is correct. Transitioning children is child abuse.

    • Sean

      Yikes.

    • Plisade

      Virtue Grooming

    • MikeS

      I hope the father has initiated divorce and/or custody proceedings…assuming the father is a better option.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        He stuck it in crazy.

      • Swiss Servator

        Do women say “Don’t let crazy stick it in you”?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’ll have to ask all the girls who turned me down.

    • Mojeaux

      So, we have an alliance situation with another set of parents whose 17yo child presents as male outside the house with name and pronoun changes, but is called by her actual name and pronouns inside the house. The mother isn’t really sure what to do about it, but what she does know is that when the child is 26yo or whatever, that she doesn’t look back on her parents and ask, “Why did you let me do that to myself?”

      • B.P.

        If I were a parent in that situation, I’d be a little angry at the folks indoctrinating impressionable, confused youth while claiming righteousness.

    • The Other Kevin

      That’s not at all terrifying in a dystopian novel kind of way.

      Every time I see something like this, I wonder how many more points the Biden approval rating will drop next week. They either think this will actually shut down opposition (it won’t), or that a majority of people want this (they don’t).

    • Sean

      Honk honk.

    • R.J.

      It just can’t get more Orwellian. Also this will backfire horribly within 2 years.

      • Sean

        I’m waiting to hear how they will be “countering”. If it’s a .gov version of Snopes, then I really don’t care.

      • The Other Kevin

        It’s DHS. Since when have they done anything that doesn’t involve detaining people or banning them from things?

      • The Other Kevin

        Once again… If you’re not comfortable with someone you don’t like having this kind of power, then nobody should have this kind of power. Would these people be ok with Trump being in charge of what ‘s considered “disinformation”?

      • Compelled Speechless

        You seem to be under the impression that one of these people suddenly sprouted principles. Let me reassure you that’s not the case.

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, that’s like thinking they could have the foresight to see how this will be turned against them.

        [Narrator: the day after hell freezes over.]

      • rhywun

        It won’t matter if Trump is president again because like every other bureaucracy, it will be spun off into its own orbit and remain permanently controlled by the left.

      • Compelled Speechless

        This is the true goal of progressivism. Shift all the power away from elected office over to a permanent bureaucracy of the credentialed that can make and enforce it’s own laws as it sees fit. Democracy is a smokescreen to convince you that you consent to and have some say in this process. That’s why the left is always blowing a gasket about voting rights. They don’t believe they’re important because they don’t believe you need to have a say, but they NEED you to believe they are for the whole system to work.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Magically stood up just days after the Twitter was bought…

      Can’t wait for the knocks on the doors about posts made.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Disinformation Governance Board

      Needs a better name. Minitrue works doesn’t it.

      • R.J.

        Commies like long titles. It’s a royalty thing.

      • Compelled Speechless

        The longer the title you have to repeat, the more time you spend groveling at their feet.

    • Rebel Scum

      Biden Admin Department of Homeland Security to create a ‘Disinformation Governance Board’ dedicated to ‘countering misinformation’

      Oh, good. A ministry of Truth. DHS will finally rid us of those extremist, right-wing, individualist, small-government terrorists.

      • Ownbestenemy

        First act will to legitimize the letter about parents and opposing CRT at school board meetings.

    • Rebel Scum

      The DHS board will be headed by Nina Jankowicz, who once claimed militarized Trump supporters would show up to the polls with weapons to intimidate voters

      Meh. Half of Dem voters are dead and other other half “vote” by mail.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      There is a distinct difference though.

      Now they have to come out and directly contradict assertions by opposing parties instead of just making those assertions disappear.

      Unless of course they intend to put the boot of the State at work in silencing people, but on that topic, SCOTUS has been fairly reliable.

      • R.J.

        It will be the latter, and it only has to work until the upcoming election. The Supreme Court would bat down this disgusting ministry, but the damage will be done.

  20. MikeS

    People are claiming Musk violated terms of the agreement. To me it looks like it comes down to the definition of “disparage” and whether his two critical tweets fit it. I think you could make the argument he wasn’t disparaging them, just stating “his truth*”.

    *That would be beyond epic level trolling if he actually used that phrase.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I love to see how that amounts to disparaging.

    • Fatty Bolger

      it comes down to the definition of “disparage”

      Not even that, it only applies to tweets about the merger, which these were not.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Ragrets

    Boeing disclosed Wednesday that it has lost a whopping $1.1 billion in costs related to its deal with the Trump administration to modify two 747 jumbo jets to serve as Air Force One — and CEO Dave Calhoun admitted the aviation giant “probably” should not have cut the deal in the first place.

    Even more losses on the Air Force One contract could be coming in future quarters, Boeing warned in a regulatory filing.

    Air Force One is the official designation for any plane carrying the president of the United States.

    “Air Force One I’m just going to call a very unique moment, a very unique negotiation, a very unique set of risks that Boeing probably shouldn’t have taken,” Calhoun said on a call with analysts.

    It was the solid gold toilet, wasn’t it?

    • Ted S.

      So we the taxpayers spent $1.1B less than we otherwise would have on the planes?

      • Compelled Speechless

        $1.1B less on REMODELING TWO PLANES. That’s just how much they lost. What could they add that would triple or quadruple the cost of the base plane? According to Google, you can buy a brand new 747 for about 380 mil, which still seems shocking. How can people view government contracting as anything less than an obvious grift?

  22. The Late P Brooks

    People are claiming Musk violated terms of the agreement. To me it looks like it comes down to the definition of “disparage” and whether his two critical tweets fit it.

    I just read a little article about that.

    Nitpickers POUNCE!

    Go ahead. Tell me blocking the New York Post for publishing a true story *wasn’t* inappropriate.

  23. Rebel Scum

    *ventures over to CNN*

    We have to support the perpetual warfare state, obvs.

    Javelin missiles are among the most in-demand items for the Ukrainian military as it fights off the Russian invasion. In March, Ukraine told the US it needs 500 of the anti-tank missiles every day.

    “The President will travel to Alabama to visit a Lockheed Martin facility which manufactures weapon systems such as Javelin anti-tank missiles, which the Biden-Harris Administration is providing Ukraine and which Ukrainians are using so effectively to defend against the Russian invasion,” the statement released by the White House said. …

    Speaking about the importance of getting aid to Ukraine, Biden paraphrased a famous quote from former President Theodore Roosevelt, telling reporters: “Sometimes we will speak softly and carry a large Javelin, because we’re sending a lot of those in as well.” He was referring to an anti-tank missile the US has provided to the Ukrainian military.

    That TDR phrase was about avoiding conflict by projecting strength and not mouthing off.

    This whole editorial is a dumpster fire.

    • The Other Kevin

      The entire Democratic party is now providing a pipeline of cash for all the big businesses that used to be their “villains”.

      Big Insurance is evil => Mandate that everyone has to have health insurance
      Big Pharma is evil => Mandate vaccines
      Big Tech is evil => Work with Big Tech to influence an election and shut down dissent
      Big Weapons evil => Buy billions in weapons for Ukraine

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        And like everything else, they’ve turned it up to 11.

    • Fatty Bolger

      500 a day? Are these things not so accurate after all?

    • Compelled Speechless

      So questioning election integrity two years before it happens is okey doke, but if you question it immediately after, you’re undermining and trying to overthrow the entire institution of democracy for all time? Am I understanding this correctly?

      • Fatty Bolger

        That depends. Which political party is doing the questioning?

      • Compelled Speechless

        The righteous one that never does anything wrong and if they do, they only did it because the meanies on the other side made them. All they want to do is help you and protect you from the literal incarnation of Satan himself that inhabits the other side of the aisle/border/twitter debate.

    • juris imprudent

      I up your dumpster fire with a mountain of tires fire.

      From long before Election Day 2020, Trump and Republicans planned to overturn the presidential election by exploiting the Electors and Elections Clauses of the Constitution, the Electoral College, the Electoral Count Act of 1877, and the 12th Amendment, if Trump lost the popular and Electoral College vote.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    That didn’t take long.

    NO FREE SPEECH FOR YOU!

    How about an explanation for the twatter-challenged?

    • Mojeaux

      Since Twitter (probably) won’t carry the left’s water now with Musk at the helm, the government has created a Ministry of Truth.

    • Urthona

      Yup. And the head is a real winner. A person who spread the idea that Hunter’s laptop was Russian disinformation.

      Whatever they actually do with this organization, Republicans should sue at every opportunity.

    • Sean

      Desk pop!

    • Gender Traitor

      Forget it, homey. They’re Piquads.

      • Tres Cool

        Piq-tards?

        And since you mentioned Tipp City earlier.

        I cant ever remember which of the Deal sisters was the smack addict, and which was the lesbian.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      a pistol unintentionally discharged

      Those damn pistols are at it again.

      • MikeS

        Alec Baldwin has been vindicated!

      • Sensei

        I really don’t like pulling the trigger to release the slide on a Glock.

        I must check at least 3 times that it is unloaded and still cringe every time I pull the trigger when I’m disassembling one.

        I’m surprised it doesn’t happen more often.

    • Ted S.

      “gun unintentionally fires”? As in it fired itself??

      • Sean

        I suppose it could have been dropped and gone off, but I think we all know that wasn’t the case…

  25. Gustave Lytton

    Premium subscribers get filters or warnings, right?

  26. Mojeaux

    Okie dokie, the squirrels are out in force. I don’t even have to post twice for WordPress to tell me I posted it twice. Twofers #FTW!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Had that yesterday!

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Boeing’s deal for the Air Force One jets was cut by then-CEO Dennis Muilenburg and then-President Donald Trump in February 2018.

    It requires Boeing, not the federal government, to eat the costs of any overruns in the cost of modifying the two Boeing 747 jets.

    Under that fixed-price contract, Boeing is being paid about $4 billion for the work.

    Oh

    my

    GOD!

    Make the contractor eat the cost overruns? How un-American.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      In a rational world, Boeing would be trying to hide the fact that they negotiated a shit deal. Instead, they think they can blame Trump for their ineptness in estimating.

      • Sean

        In a post Covid world, everyone’s costs are not what they used to be.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I see a lot of time and materials quotes in the future as inflation spirals out of control.

      • Ownbestenemy

        And probably trying to get Biden to toss them the cash…which he probably will

  28. UnCivilServant

    WooHoo! My pay raise has appeared in my paycheck. $69.78/wk after taxes.

    Wait, is that a fake number?

    • Peter Lorre, contemplating a Crime

      it is after inflation eats away at it

    • Plisade

      Why was 6 afraid of 7?

      Yoda: Because 978.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Dad? Is that you?