Sunday Morning Kids Are Up Early Again Links

by | Apr 24, 2022 | Daily Links | 245 comments

All my damn kids were up waay too damn early this morning. I need a farm so they have chores to do outside when they wake up. I can’t bitch about the chores thing too much. My older two actually raked and bags leaves (yes we’re about 2 months behind) yesterday. They were being paid by the bag, so there were several discussions between the client and the contractors about what constitutes a “full” bag. The older two and I are going to take the ferry across Tampa Bay today. Should be a fun mess.

The government is just a giant organized crime racket. Fucking thieves.

Florida Sheriff recommends home owners shoot home invaders. “We prefer that you do”

The mask really slipped on this cop. He even looks like a thuggish dick.

The worst part about this whole sad article is the pictures of this grown man who can’t put a hat on straight. I wanted my son to reject masculine stereotypes. Then he fell in love with tractors

Found this on an old mix CD yesterday.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

245 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “You can’t just go around sniffing people’s heads, lad. ”

    Future President?

    • Fourscore

      My first thoughts, too.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That guy is a serious douche.

      • Sensei

        An effeminate (not that there’s anything wrong with that) serious douche.

      • SDF-7

        To me, femininity was connected to empathy and kindness while masculinity equated to being frigid. Men didn’t hug. Men didn’t say I love you. Men were angry. Aggressive. Inept as parents.

        “I have serious daddy issues, have no concept how to be a father… and of course, am a social worker of all things!”

        I feel really sorry for the kid — I hope his Mom is more settled and his other mom here in the article finds some sanity somewhere deep in his core enough to pull it together for his kid.

      • Tulip

        Given what he says about his own dad, I don’t know where this comes from.

      • R.J.

        That guy is nutty coo coo. I agree, I have no idea where his preconceptions come from. It almost feels like a joke article – too funny to be true.

      • Grumbletarian

        “While the midwife and her assistant cleaned up, my wife, always one to joke, even soon after giving birth, bragged that she had a connection to our new baby that I could never attain because men couldn’t bond with babies like women could.”

        Sounds like the wife isn’t much better.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Peas in a pod

    • Grumbletarian

      I began attending mommy-and-me playgroups and bristled when other caregivers made jokes about me providing daddy day care.”

      Getting angry?? That’s what men do and you don’t want that!

    • Tonio

      Link fixed. Thanks, Sensei.

    • rhywun

      I immediately cut my hours at my social work gig

      What a hero.

      That whole thing is a snapshot of nearly everything that is wrong with [current year]. Why did somebody find this “newsworthy”? Why is dad not knocking this douche upside the head?

    • Plinker762

      At the end of the Yahoo article:

      “Our goal is to create a safe and engaging place for users to connect over interests and passions. In order to improve our community experience, we are temporarily suspending article commenting”

      “temporarily” so like 2 weeks or something?

    • Mustang

      That poor kid.

      There were a few lines I sympathized with. People really do act like dads are retards these days. I’ve had to tell quite a few moms to stop talking to me like I’m the child while I take care of the kid. The wife says the other moms gasp when she goes out and I stay home to take care of the kid.

      I also know a number of acquaintance fathers who really are inept. It’s like they bought into the Homer Simpson stereotype.

      I only made it a few paragraphs into that article. What a pathetic loser.

      • Grumbletarian

        It sort of turns into “My father had to eventually realize I was growing up to be an effeminate ponce, and so do I have to realize my son might grow up to be more masculine than I am.” Can’t wait for the made-for-TV show on Lifetime.

      • cavalier973

        On [popular daytime talk show] watch a son slap his father and tell him to man up

      • Brawndo

        Yea there were a few relatable lines. Modern culture has been shitting on fathers for years for cheap laughs and then women act surprised when they see a father with their kid at the park (without mom) or able to change diapers.

        I think men that want to be deeply involved caregivers are fighting an uphill battle against thousands of years of cultural norms that may have even become genetically coded behaviors and attitudes by now. When the mother said she has a connection to their child that he won’t ever have, she’s right, and it’s something I have to tell myself and my wife sometimes too.

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, the kid ain’t gonna suck on your nipples.

      • Brawndo

        Basically

    • Shpip

      I refuse to believe that this article is anything other than well-crafted satire.

      • R.J.

        It must be. It’s way too good to be true.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        This line:

        [I] felt ill if someone mentioned a wrench or another tool.

        particularly grated. Does he think toxically-masculine handymen just magically appear to repair stuff around him and then go *poof* and disappear again, never to ruffle his oh-so-sensitive feathers? Has he never had to save a few dollars by doing something himself (and becoming more of a competent human being in the process)? I mean, Good God, I knew I’d made the right choice of spouse when the SU demanded power tools for her first birthday after we married.

        If this is real, this dumbass is the absolute archetype for the decline of the male of the species in Western Civ — either that, or there’s a Wikipedia article with a picture of him in it entitled “Useful Idiot.” He makes me wanna shower just having read the article.

      • slumbrew

        At least there’s a good chance his kid will reject dad’s effete ways and end up as an oilfield welder or something

    • Drake

      His son may turn out okay despite the best efforts of his weirdo dad.

  2. Scruffy Nerfherder

    *adds Santa Rosa County to list of possible relocation areas *

    • Fourscore

      Bring your own equipment. Too bad other DPS officials don’t recommend the same procedures

    • Atanarjuat

      The beaches are stunning.

      • SDF-7

        … and the seashore is nice too?

      • Atanarjuat

        Southern culture in this area has strangely bifurcated into two classes, one where women my age are sunburned, tattooed, missing teeth, and have numerous kids with different fathers, and another where they are shockingly beautiful and surrounded by immense wealth, and don’t remotely perceive men such as myself as potential mates.

      • l0b0t

        Ah… the old Sarasota or Arcadia conundrum. Or, Who Let You People Go To Longboat Key?

      • Atanarjuat

        Is that the one that has no bridge and can only be accessed by boat, and is filled with eccentric wealthy people who ride around on golf carts? From my one visit to the area, Bradenton was a dumpy place filled with sleazy people and Sarasota had red tide so the bay was filled with the carcasses of dead fish.

      • l0b0t

        Nah, those are bit South (North Captiva, Cayo Costa, Cabbage Key etc.). Longboat was the tony section of the Sarasota’s key/barrier island; the cutoff where teens of little means would start getting rousted by the police.

      • Atanarjuat

        Well, there aren’t any cliffs or people galloping by on horseback.

      • l0b0t

        Oh man… that was the theme to a show I loved as a kid, but the star, Jon-Erik Hexum, blew his brains out with a prop gun and that was the end of Cover-Up, the show about models who were also secret agents.

    • Atanarjuat

      I clicked through to the Bloomberg link to see how many barrels of oil were on the ship, how much money was made from the sale, and how much our taxes will go down as a result, but strangely they mentioned none of those details.

      They did have another article right below it gloating that Russian oil output can be “proven” to have gone down due to the sanctions. How? By using satellites to measure the brightness of the flames on their oil rigs. How much has extraction dropped according to this dubious methodology? 10%. Of course, since the price per barrel has risen more than 10%, they’re actually making more money than before. Our elite class is a pack of buffoons.

    • Count Potato

      What?

    • Homple

      Canada.

    • Ghostpatzer

      “I submit my candidate for Batshit Craziest Thing Of The Week:”

      It’s early, but we may have a winner here.

      • R.J.

        That may beat the creepy dad story in this post. Maybe.

  3. Tundra

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    Walking the line.

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      23. Bleah.

    • SDF-7

      Probably close to the worst it could be without sliding into Chump-town. Seem to have a gift for getting in the “One letter off… always pick the wrong one!” trap.

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      This one was hard.

      • The Gunslinger

        That’s what she said!

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      8 5
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      Getting better.
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        #waffle93 4/5

        ?????
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        ? streak: 2
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      • Sean

        Viva la Waffle.

        #waffle93 3/5

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        ? streak: 6
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    • Rat on a train

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    • MikeS

      I haven’t chumped for a while.

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    • one true athena

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  4. Ted S.

    The mask really slipped on this cop. He even looks like a thuggish dick.

    He was a dick on NBC, too.

  5. Count Potato

    “Tech firms are buying up new washing machines so they can harvest their computer parts in a desperate bid to beat the global microchip shortage.

    Once solely used in PCs and mobile phones, semiconductors are now vital in cars, kitchen appliances, TVs, smart speakers, thermostats, smart light bulbs and even some dog collars.

    Microchip manufacturers are unable to meet the ever-growing demand – accelerated by families buying more computers and gadgets during lockdown – as it takes two years and billions of pounds to build each factory.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10747469/Tech-firms-rip-apart-NEW-washing-machines-harvest-computer-parts.html

    Maybe don’t put chips in every fucking thing. No one needs a WiFi crock pot.

    • Tulip

      “No one needs a WiFi crockpot.”

      Says you.

      • Count Potato

        Yes, and no one needs a refrigerator with a touch screen.

      • juris imprudent

        And the joy of buying one of these appliances and then turning off the damn function that I don’t want.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I could see WiFi being very useful for someone who sets up the crockpot before leaving to go work for the day and wanting to monitor it from the office. It’s been a long time since I was in the office, but I remember coworkers doing this so dinner would be ready when they got home.

        I think I’m going to finally break down and get a pellet smoker instead of using an offset firebox. Wifi isn’t a make or break feature, but it would be nice to just be able to check the smoker temp from my phone in bed at 2am when smoking a brisket, rather than needing to get up and go outside to check, while riling up the dogs and household in the process.

      • cavalier973

        That’s what your orphan servants are for.

      • TARDis

        I confess I have messed with Wi-Fi thermostat while I am at work. Wi-Fee was not amused.

    • Atanarjuat

      I wish someone was still making cars and trucks with 1980 technology. I saw a classic Toyota 4Runner in a parking garage last week. It had beautiful lines, was in great shape, and no key fob or primary control module.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        96 to 99 Chevy truck/SUV with 5.7L small block/Vortec heads.

        About as robust as you can get.

        Old Toyotas go for way too much money right now

      • Enough About Palin

        I drive a 1994 Ford F150 4×4 and wouldn’t trade it for a brand new Mercedes S-Class.

      • Animal

        I had a ’74 Bronco. Damn thing was amazing. A 302 with no emissions crap, manual transmission, manual hubs, manual door locks, manual everything. Damn thing would go up and down trees. Interior was all sheet metal and vinyl. At the end of elk season I would take it to the car wash, open all the doors and hose out the interior.

        If someone made a utility like that today and sold it for $20k, I bet you couldn’t build them fast enough.

      • Count Potato

        The government made it illegal. If it weren’t for regulations, I’m sure someone could make simple, reliable $10K cars.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yep

        Emissions crap aside, the safety regs have ruined cars.

      • Count Potato

        VW Beetles were made in Mexico until recently, but it was illegal to import them.

    • rhywun

      “Vital” is a bit strong. Semiconductors are not “vital” in any of those things, at least not in the “dumb” versions of them with which humanity somehow muddled through life until five minutes ago.

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, that kind of bullshit and I don’t even need the glasses to see OBEY and CONSUME.

    • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

      My tooth brush has blue tooth.

      What the fuck?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Microchip manufacturers are unable to meet the ever-growing demand – accelerated by families buying more computers and gadgets during lockdow

      Bullshit. Not the first, perhaps.

    • Ghostpatzer

      “Imagine if Hunter was Trump’s son.”

      “Sources in the intelligence community say DNA tests reveal Hunter Biden is actually the love child of Donald Trump. It is now clear that Mr. Trump is the big guy referenced on recorded conversations ” /CNN

    • Gustave Lytton

      He was just dropping off Hunter’s laptop that he left behind in a meeting earlier that day. No biggie.

    • Fourscore

      Shooters on scooters?

      • SDF-7

        “In other stories about Waffle House, the perpetrators scattered, CNN smothered the stories — but our Count Potato covered them.”

      • Sensei

        Cheesy!

      • Not Adahn

        Hard to top that chunk of a pun.

    • Grumbletarian

      Castillo said she’s considering leaving her ballot blank for her U.S. Senate pick.

      Narrator: She won’t leave it blank.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Oh noes…

      • juris imprudent

        Whatever will the NH Democratic Party do – deprived of Latino leadership?

    • Homple

      Hassan has noticed that native-born northern-European-looking people vote too.

    • Ghostpatzer

      That’s interesting. Actual Latino voters don’t appear to be down with the progressive agenda of their “leaders” if recent news articles are to be believed.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s definitely in WTFIGO territory.

    • Ted S.

      It’s a conspiracy theory, just like all those church burnings.

      • Count Potato

        Churches aren’t likely to catch fire on their own.

      • Enough About Palin

        We’ve had a couple go up in the Twin Cities this year. And nothing else happened.

  6. juris imprudent

    Is that so? You might try to sell the CCP on how they are failing after repeatedly bring the Mouse to heel.

    If the district were dissolved, it might actually save Disney some money—but at the cost of not being able to manage its own streets, permitting, bond issuance, and so forth. It would remove a lot of certainty and predictability from the operation.

    Imagine, a corporation being inconvenienced with democratic governance/bureaucracy. And the left wants to die on this hill?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Consistency is not their strong suit unless we’re talking about “We will do anything to rule in Hell ”

      • juris imprudent

        We will do anything to rule in Hell

        Preferably by taking paradise and turning it into hell, e.g. California.

    • rhywun

      We’re learning in real time that the trans lobby is now more powerful than the Dems’ natural anti-business instincts.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “”It’d be like attacking Mother Teresa.””
      I don’t know about that. What was Mother Theresa’s position on kid grooming?

      • Nephilium

        /queues up the Penn and Teller Bullshit episode attacking Mother Theresa

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      it might actually save Disney some money—but at the cost of not being able to manage its own streets, permitting, bond issuance, and so forth

      Right, because of course the local government can manage these things more efficiently and more cheaply than Disney. The estimates I’ve seen have placed the cost to Disney at tens of millions of year if the district isn’t renewed.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yep

        The local bureaucrats are going to drive them nuts. Welcome to the club, assholes.

  7. juris imprudent

    Oh fuck – you have to click to see the pic that leads this nonsense.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It seems a good metaphor for Baltimore. There’s some nice trees but you’re going to have to suck on dog ass to live here.

      • Atanarjuat

        It was kind of a description of a banana republic. “Sure you’ve seen all the shitty parts and crime on the news, but where the elites live and work there’s good architecture.” Of course, I live in Florida, which is much more egalitarian, but you could look for a long time before finding any good architecture. By the way, if you enjoy snarky quips on that subject, you might enjoy https://twitter.com/arch_crimes.

      • Enough About Palin

        “(my son Booker is holding the family dog Billy Smith) at its flowering peak”

        [posted without comment]

    • Ted S.

      Oh fuck — you have to click to see the pic that leads this nonsense.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        What the…

      • rhywun

        I can’t even.

      • Fourscore

        Home shopping for the undecided, sponsored by CNN+?

  8. Atanarjuat

    It’s funny that they mentioned the failed attempt at getting Ulbricht a pardon from Trump, but didn’t waste words on not receiving one from Biden or Obama (granted Biden is more likely to do it in his last month in office, if at all). It’s like we all know that the latter two are just tools of the Deep State, so why bother.

  9. l0b0t

    Words with repeating letters are ASSHOE!

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    • TARDis

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      ?????
      ?⬜?⬜?
      ??⭐??
      ?⬜?⬜?
      ?????

      ? streak: 8

  10. The Late P Brooks

    It’s way too early for that masculine stereotypes blabbering.

  11. l0b0t

    Sorry I missed the zoomies last night. I had my second migraine headache ever and was in lousy shape. I didn’t know something could hurt so badly that it induced vomiting, but here we are.

    • rhywun

      Ouch. The thought of those scares the hell out of me, knock on wood.

    • Nephilium

      No apologies needed. Migraines are a cold hard bitch. I’m very glad they’ve become much less frequent as I got older.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Sorry about that. Migraines suck.

      Cluster headaches suck even harder.

    • Count Potato

      Sorry 🙁

    • Ghostpatzer

      You have my deepest sympathies. I suffered from migraines for decades, and I would not wish them on my worst enemy. The good news is they go away about the time you turn 60.

      • R.J.

        Strangely true.

    • Mojeaux

      I’m so sorry l0b0t. I too am not prone to headaches/migraines but I remember the only migraine I’ve ever had, vividly. Landed me in the hospital with a spinal tap. However, I’ve been getting ice-pick headaches for the last 2 weeks or so. Just a pang, then it’s gone.

  12. Count Potato

    “1 in 3 Americans have been affected by extreme weather in the past two years, according to a recent Gallup poll.

    In the Sunday edition of CNN’s 5 Things podcast, @BillWeirCNN examines how these events are shaping views on climate change.”

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/1518205657257852929

    SCIENCE!!!!

    • rhywun

      They should be examining how five decades of relentless propaganda have shaped “views on climate change”.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Weasel words abound

    • Fourscore

      66% reject Climate Change!

    • R.J.

      It feels like 1 out of 3 Americans moved to Texas in the past two years, so that makes sense.
      Also agree these are crappy weasel words.

    • Chafed

      Chief Climate Correspondent. I’m sure he is even-handed.

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Like a heat wave or a cold snap? I’m surprised it’s only 1/3. And that’s probably been true forever.

  13. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “Then he fell in love with tractors”
    Yeah well, if having sex with tractors is wrong then I don’t wanna be right.

    • Ted S.

      One of my college Russian professors described Socialist Realism movies as, “Boy meets tractor, boy falls in love with tractor, boy marries tractor”.

    • rhywun

      “You got gonorrhea from a tractor?? And you call *that* your tractor story??”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      +1 Hydroglide transmission

      • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

        Mmm… I think you mean Astroglide transmission.

    • Not Adahn

      -1 tragic reaper accident.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Kenny Chesney spies an opportunity for a comeback.

  14. Atanarjuat

    I was checking the local movie theater to find times for The Northman and noticed that they occasionally have special showings of some weird dubbed anime movies. Kinda cool they’re doing stuff other than the same old Hollywood crap. Maybe I’ll check one out.

    • rhywun

      My low-brow neighborhood’s local theater shows only Hollywood crap. I’d have to venture north into hipster territory to find something like that.

      • Nephilium

        We’ve got a couple of theaters in the area that have Bollywood films. I have noticed a big trend towards re-releasing classic films in the theaters to try to get people to go back to them.

      • Chafed

        +1 Predator

      • l0b0t

        The only theater on the peninsula became a Wendy’s in 2009, since 2018 it’s a mostly Dunkin’ Donuts with about 200 square feet partitioned into a BofA ATM place.

      • rhywun

        *Imagines having a Wendy’s I can see out my window…* ?

      • l0b0t

        We had the Wendy’s and a McDonald’s, now we just have the McDonald’s. We very much preferred the Wendy’s for the fast foods. We have at least 6 Dunkin’ Donuts/Baskin Robbin locations, so we’ve got that going for us I guess.

      • Mojeaux

        My opinion of Dunkin Donuts’s food could not get lower.

      • l0b0t

        Yeah, they’re not even on my donut radar. For me it’s any local maker first, then Krispy Kreme (if in select Southern states and the HOT light is on), followed up Mr. Donut, and in a pinch supermarket/Entenmanns.

      • Tulip

        Donuts must be raised, they must be fresh. I don’t like Duncan or Krispy Kreme. The Shoppers here has good one (at least a few years ago), the grocery stores don’t. I make apple cider donuts once a year with an apple cider glaze. And that’s usually the only donuts I eat.

      • Gender Traitor

        croissants > bagels > Danish > Pop Tarts > muffins > donuts

      • R.J.

        Shipley’s donuts for the win.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Wanted: Journalists

    At an Oprah Winfrey-hosted company meeting on the Warner Bros lot in Burbank, California last week, David Zaslav, chief executive and president of CNN’s corporate parent, reportedly said he wanted CNN to focus on the facts and set itself apart from a cable-news industry monopolised by “advocacy networks”.

    “If we get that, we can have a civilized society,” Zaslav reportedly said. “And without it, if it all becomes advocacy, we don’t have a civilized society.”

    A board member, John Malone, has also spoken on the subject of media bias.

    “I would like to see CNN evolve back to the kind of journalism that it started with and actually have journalists, which would be unique and refreshing,” Malone told CNBC in November.

    And the air was filled with howls of anguish.

    [Insert “I’ll believe it when I see it” disclaimer]

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Good luck finding anyone to perform the function. The J-schools are pumping out activists.

      • juris imprudent

        I can see the help wanted ad – no journalism majors need apply.

    • Mustang

      All he has to do is keep repeating it until the plebs believe it. They won’t actually change anything. Overton window…shifted.

  16. Scruffy Nerfherder

    So what is the particular injury when you’re pulling up on something and you feel/hear something pop in the side of your rib cage?

    • Ted S.

      Long covid. I’m sorry it’s going to kill you.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Well, bye…

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Addressing the bleed-through of opinion into news has also been on the menu at the New York Times, though less overtly so given the gift that would present to the paper’s enemies.

    “Us, biased? What nonsense.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Jay Rosen, a journalism professor at New York University, said a breakdown of political discourse had created a problem for all institutions.

    Advertisement

    “They all have strategies and those strategies go out of favor so they change them,” he said. “No one really knows what to do but there are different ways of faking it.”

    For the Times, Rosen said, carefully worded statements by Kahn and others were really saying: “There’s pressure to become more liberal and we’re not going to do that.”

    He said: “They think their critics and core readers want them to be pro-Joe Biden, and overlook any faults he has. They’re saying they’re not going to be intimidated by the right wing or congratulated by the left wing into doing what they want.”

    In February, the Times launched a new advertising campaign: Independent Journalism for an Independent Life. To Rosen, it was the carefully calibrated articulation of a shift that cannot be fully articulated.

    “This whole issue has been wrapped up in a bow of independence,” he said. “It’s the language they’re using to announce a shift without articulating any need for a shift.”

    Fiercely independent, they are. Straight down the middle. And don’t you forget it.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I don’t think that even rises to the point of laughable.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe that “DNC steno pool” characterization finally got through to a few of the media panjandrums.

  20. cavalier973

    Does anyone else notice a strange odor in the air and in food?

    For the past several days—possibly for a couple of weeks; I can’t remember when this started—there has been a sickly-sweet smell that I notice. Sometimes I smell it in the air. My wife suggested that it might be trees blooming, but I am not sure. It isn’t all the time, but I notice it especially when I start to eat or drink something. I seem to notice it most whenever I eat anything corn-related, including (possibly) anything with corn syrup sweetener or cooked with vegetable oil that is corned based.

    I got the rona back in November; it was the kind where a lost my sense of smell. It was not fun. My wife got mad at me because I stopped eating. Everything tasted bleah, except for apples. I am wondering if I am suffering after effects of the sickness.

    On a related note, has anyone heard anything about the rona and snake venom?

    • Atanarjuat

      Long covid. I’m sorry it’s going to kill you.

      • Ownbestenemy

        WebMD has replaced ‘diabetes’ as the answer to your stubbed toe with long covid. At least now when I check my symptoms of a achy hip it doesn’t diagnose me as pregnant.

      • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

        Nunchucks and throwing stars!

    • The Hyperbole

      Since I had the ‘vid onions and sometimes eggs smell funny to me. I have a few other friends that say there smell changed after the ‘vid, so that’s a good guess although it seems a long time after the fact to develop.

    • rhywun

      My nose seems more sensitive than it used to. Like, I feel the need to scrub harder to get the smell of fried eggs out of my frying pan.

    • Plinker762

      You should have gotten the vaccine you stoopid science denier!

      I got the CCPV last October and had lost/reduced smell and taste (I lost 15lbs from barely eating for a week). The last few months I’ve noticed a similar smell, usually from fountain drinks, so it could be some kind of after effect.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Picking up on the cars and regulations discussion above, somebody linked to these a while back.

    or Off Road Use Only

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Neat

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Does anyone else notice a strange odor in the air and in food?

    CHEMTRAILS ARE REAL

    • Ownbestenemy

      Can confirm /insider threat at the FAA

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Geeky biologist looking to meet Taylor Swift.

      • cavalier973

        He should be cautious. Naming a bug after here may bring bad blood.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        At least he’ll get a song written about him

      • Chafed

        Possibly a whole album.

    • Count Potato

      “Has this always been going on? Naming species after pop culture persons?”

      It’s been happening for awhile. There is a spider or something named after Mira Sorvino.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Okay so Scruffy was right. Needs hoping they get some tail or props.

      • Mojeaux

        Mira Sorvino is my hero. She told Weinstein no even though she knew it would kill her career. And it did.

    • Shpip

      The Far Side cartoonist got his species 30+ years ago.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Metaverse level. Mind blown

    • juris imprudent

      Cool link bro.

      • TARDis

        Look, we don’t need all that intergalactic violence. All we need is a sufficiently sized SMOD. Is that too much to ask?

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Big article in the NYT about teens and suicide. What are the odds they even mention masks or lockdowns?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Or constant calls that they will kill their loved ones….yeah we really screwed over the 0-18 year old kids the past couple of years.

      • Fourscore

        And old people.

        Supposing that one is on Actuarial Table borrowed time and Fauci and his criminal gang put you in Solitary Confinement. WTF is up with that?

        Lock down ain’t just for criminals anymore.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The shear absurdity that loved ones going through illness were forced to zoom calls as last breaths were grasped is evil

      • cavalier973

        It was all evil, from the first “two weeks to flatten the curve”. The mask mandates. The church closures. The school closures. The tattling by Karens. Eventually the mandates to vaccinate. The double and triple and quadruple jabs, all while claiming the jabs are effective.

        Lies.

        Americans didn’t have to get violent to resist. Just say, “No; I won’t put in a mask. I will pick up my pink slip and go home to wait for you to beg me to come back.” If just a fraction of Americans had done this (I admit to my shame that I didn’t) the there would have been no lockdowns. Americans are too divided to trust each other to keep the faith. We have to resist together. If I am the only one going to jail or paying a fine, and no one else helps or even expresses sympathy, the what’s the use?

    • Sensei

      You made me check.

      They mention that it was increasing pre -COVID and after that zero mention of anything related to the pandemic.

      They are nothing but consistent…

      • Atanarjuat

        Evil bastards. I know people who killed themselves during lockdown.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    They mention that it was increasing pre -COVID and after that zero mention of anything related to the pandemic.

    Consumerism, bodyshaming and video games, then. And teh tiktox. Sounds legit.

  25. Count Potato

    “Here’s Valerie Jarrett posturing about continuing to wear her mask. Here she is two days later at Stanford, indoors and not wearing her mask.”

    https://twitter.com/redsteeze/status/1517713725699936256

    “Valerie Jarrett wants you to think that the people in this photo sitting directly next to each other are “social distanced” because Valerie Jarrett thinks you are stupid. A “tremendous speech about disinformation” indeed.”

    https://twitter.com/JerryDunleavy/status/1517839993087139840

  26. Count Potato

    “The Wuhan Institute of Virology had an agreement with the University of Texas Medical Branch’s Galveston National Laboratory to collaborate on scientific research, with the Chinese lab entitled to ask the Texas lab to “destroy” any “secret files.”

    The revelation provides further details about how the Chinese government lab, which at least one U.S. intelligence agency regards as the most likely origin of the coronavirus pandemic, maintained relationships with U.S. government-funded institutions as it conducted its coronavirus research.

    U.S. Right to Know obtained and published the late 2017 memorandum of understanding this week.

    “All cooperation and exchanges documents, data, details, and materials shall be treated as confidential information by the parties,” the agreement said. “The confidentiality obligation shall be applicable throughout the duration of this MoU and after it has been terminated. The party is entitled to ask the other to destroy and/or return the secret files, materials, and equipment without any backups.””

    https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/restoring-america/courage-strength-optimism/wuhan-lab-had-agreement-with-texas-university-over-destroying-secret-files

    • cavalier973

      I guess every country has illegal bio weapons labs located in some other country. We picked Ukraine. China picked the U.S.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    We cannot allow Elon Musk to destroy our credibility

    Twitter is banning misleading advertisements that go against the scientific consensus of climate change, the company announced on Friday, which was Earth Day.

    “We believe that climate denialism shouldn’t be monetized on Twitter, and that misrepresentative ads shouldn’t detract from important conversations about the climate crisis,” Twitter said in a blog post.

    Those denying the effects of climate change have targeted sites such as Twitter and Facebook, enabling them to reach hundreds and thousands of those platforms’ users with false claims.

    ——-

    Twitter’s blog post cited the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, whose recent report called for “immediate and deep emissions reductions” to combat the impacts of global warming.

    The tech giant said it is working toward adding more “reliable, authoritative context” to conversations about the climate on its platform.

    “No heretics beyond this point.”

    • rhywun

      “We’ll peddle the lies, thank you very much. With generous assistance from every lying liar government ‘scientist’ out there.”

  28. Yusef rides a Bike

    “important conversations about the climate crisis,” Twitter said in a blog post.”
    Except the icky ones we don’t like,
    then HERETIC!!!!!

    • Ownbestenemy

      I wonder if something as benign as “the Sun warms the Earth” or “carbon dioxide is cruccial to all living things” would illicit a slap from thr twitteraiti

      • rhywun

        It’s all automated so you can count on it.

  29. Q Continuum

    “I grimaced at anyone driving a Ford car, the John Wayne of automobiles. I hated men who wore plaid. Felt ill if someone mentioned a wrench or another tool. When my mom-in-law bought Avishai a coverall with footballs on it, I shoved it into the depths of his closet, never to be found.”

    Seek professional help.

    • slumbrew

      No kidding. That’s someone who is mentally ill.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Got the new alternator for the Honda Friday afternoon. It goes in and out from the bottom, so I dived under neath the car to “just bolt it in”. Fucked around and fucked around and fucked around, and the pivot would not drop into the bracket. I finally got pissed and pulled alternator and bracket out, laid them on the steel work table and did a “test fit”. The steel sleeve pressed into the aluminum ear was sticking out about ten thousandths of an inch too far. No Go. A quick trip to the vise horizontal press, and viola! It fits. By that time I was too exasperated to go back under the car, so I finished yesterday. No more alternator light; voltometer shows ~14.8V at idle. Yay.

    Also put a scab on the massive exhaust leak just below my right ankle while I had it in the air.

    Honda back in service. I do not like having the 4WD pickup as my daily driver.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Mira Sorvino is my hero. She told Weinstein no even though she knew it would kill her career. And it did.

    She was awesome in “The Replacement Killers”. Yowza.

    • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

      Yep.

    • Raven Nation

      Definitely

    • Animal

      Just from a quick glance at IMDB, it doesn’t look like it did her career any harm.

      I think the only thing I’ve seen her in was her bit part as Fanny Chamberlain in Ted Turners second Civil War epic, Gods and Generals.

  32. KSuellington

    Well it looks like the dude who burned himself to death yesterday in front of the Supreme Court did it for the climate. No word on whether he purchased a carbon offset prior to doing so.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I wish the plastic bag banners would similarly join him.

      • KSuellington

        One of the rare bright spots of the Panic here was when they banned reusable bags for a while and ended the mandatory fee on plastic ones. Of course, that couldn’t be allowed to stand so a couple months later they reversed course and increased the fee on them.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’ve noticed that some stores are charging more than the minimum tax now.

      • KSuellington

        My local green grocer gives out fruit and veg boxes so that the cheapies such as myself can avoid the plastic bag charge.

      • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

        A lot of places here give heavy duty bags out, as they are “reusable.”

      • rhywun

        The whole bag thing is a complete mess around here. Some shops are back to giving out plastic as if it’s not illegal. Funny what selective enforcement does.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yes. I’ve noticed fewer and fewer places have the decent thin bags as supply dries up, though.

        I hate the passive wording on self-serve machines. “How many bags do you wish to purchase?” “Wish to purchase? Zero, mutherfucker.”

      • KSuellington

        But now there are hundreds of millions of ultra heavy duty plastic bags that truly will never break down so the environment can be happy.

  33. Q Continuum

    “It never seemed a good idea to me until one of the girls, who I’ve fancied for ages, was really up for it. She friend-zoned me when I asked her out a couple of years ago. I thought sex with her, albeit part of an orgy, might make her see me differently.”

    https://www.thesun.co.uk/dear-deidre/18347890/virginity-seven-mates-orgy-magaluf/

    Make sure you get tails when you and your buddy flip the coin before finger-cuffing her; that’ll show you care.

  34. Not Adahn

    Flipping gorgeous day here at the range. Alas, I am on ID checking/freeloader rousting duty. Forty-something cowboys having fun. I did bring some gear for when my shift is over

    • Not Adahn

      I don’t think Wranglers are authentic cowgirl attire. Not complaining. A major difference I’ve noticed between shooters and Rennie’s is that shooters have a much better grasp of whether or not they should be wearing Lycra etc.

  35. Gustave Lytton

    Hilarious. Content marked for kids on YouTube can’t use the MiniPlayer in the app or save to watch later, but they can still be served up with ads no problem. What a joke.

  36. Q Continuum

    “An OnlyFans model claims she was offered around CA$1million (£614,000) from a famous billionaire to have sex on camera – and she said no.”

    Gotta be Bezos.

    “Previously, when discussing her time as the leader of a cult, Alice revealed that her number one rule in the adult industry was “never ever meeting in person whatsoever”.”

    I… uhhhh…. wut?

    https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/onlyfans-star-rejected-billionaires-600k-26762702?int_source=nba

    • Gustave Lytton

      Goebbels would weep with envy at these lying hacks.

    • rhywun

      I can’t get past the blatant lie in the headline.

      • Gustave Lytton

        He doesn’t want to, but he’s being forced to do it because you people can’t handle responsible gun ownership.

    • slumbrew

      *retches*

      Jesus, just let the phone go.

    • rhywun

      I was expecting a picture of the toilet, not some stupid mountains.

      • slumbrew

        An outhouse, basically.

      • KSuellington

        For my purient interest I’d like to see a photo of what she looked like when they pulled her out of there with her precious phone. That’s really a special type of stupid. I always joke with the kids when we use one when we are camping. Last year camping was the first time we let the six year old go in there on his own as my wife has a deep fear that one of the boys would fall in. They are worse than you could imagine.

  37. westernsloper

    A $3 Billion Silk Road Seizure Will Erase Ross Ulbricht’s Debt

    “you mutherfuckers……….”

    *starts day drinking*